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Austin Washington

Goodreads Author

Website

http://www.AustinWashington.com

Genre

Biography, Fiction, Spirituality

Influences

Saki, Salinger, and St. Exupery. And Vonnegut.

Member Since

April 2014

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My favorite authors are Saki, Salinger, and St. Exupery. And Vonnegut.

I guess I like S (how do you spell "S" in plural?!?) (No, no, no, not with an apostrophe...geez..)

I think, once, while at the S section, I tripped and hit my head on the Vs. (Oh, that’s how!!!...Vs is clearly plural for V, so….wait….No, no, but, see, that wouldn't work for S. With Vs it’s okay. But, “Ss”? Then you just start thinking about Nazis. Or maybe a large Nazi standing next to a small Nazi...Maybe Laurel and Hardy playing Nazis? And it gets all confusing suddenly…)

Where was I? Oh, yeah:

If you want to know more "About Me” read my books.

Much more interesting than little ‘ol me…

(Actually, what a falsely self-deprecating lie. In truthful sincerity, my books are, more, ...more

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Popular Answered Questions

How do you deal with writer’s block?

Austin Washington
Gee whizz, I try to stop it. The flow, the overwhelming torrent. Shut up already. I’m trying to get some sleep here, please…

There are already far far …more
Gee whizz, I try to stop it. The flow, the overwhelming torrent. Shut up already. I’m trying to get some sleep here, please…

There are already far far too too many words in the world. I wish everyone would just shut the hell up unless he had something to say.

If my brain didn’t feel like it was exploding with thoughts and ideas, and, most recently, crazy fiction that takes me in directions I never expected, wanted, or desired to go, trust me, I’d stick to listening to the birds tweet.

Tweet, tweet. It’s lovely, yes?

I think it’s a sin against our spirits if anyone says or writes anything without being overwhelmed by something noble, refined, visionary, elegant, and brand new.

Unless he’s, like, writing a menu. Then, I’d just like to request some flaming beef brochette with brandied cherries, please.(less)

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What’s the best thing about being a writer?

Austin Washington I'll answer my own damned question, thank you very much:

The worst thing about being a writer is writers. My God, how I hate them.

This is why it’s almo…moreI'll answer my own damned question, thank you very much:

The worst thing about being a writer is writers. My God, how I hate them.

This is why it’s almost impossible to find anything worthwhile to read these days.

There was a time, not that long ago, when books were written by people. You remember them, right? People who had lives, lived lives, and whose writing reflected their lives.

I think of J.D. Salinger, for no particular reason, other than his style and the soul behind it were engaging, uplifting, and yet thoroughly flawed and human.

On the other hand, I projectile vomit – or at least my spirit and soul does – when I try – oh, God, I try, I want them to be good, I really do – to read, say, a story in The New Yorker published in my lifetime.

This is the way they start – they always start this way:

“The fall leaves reminded me that my dissertation was long over-due.”

Or, “My wife’s mother never liked my turkey sandwiches.”

Or, “If I could forget my turtle, trust me, I would, but he haunts me even in my dreams.”

Whereas, a real story would start out, like, say:

“Ilium New York is divided into three parts.”

Get to the point, damnit, and stop telling me about your lifeless life, which has festered and molded like a compost pile on the edge of your shitty yard in the pathetic college town that you’ve never left, although you’re 35, and all you’ve ever done is take writing workshops and write, while having nothing to write about.

Leave me alone, and shut up.

(less)

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Austin Washington’s books

Average rating: 3.78 · 41 ratings · 18 reviews · 5 distinct works • Similar authors

	The Education of George Washington 3.75 avg rating — 40 ratings — published 2014 — 4 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	The Education of George Washington: How a forgotten book shaped the character of a hero it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 1 rating	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	How George Washington Became George Washington 0.00 avg rating — 0 ratings	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	TRUMP: God-King: Part One 0.00 avg rating — 0 ratings	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars

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20 posts
Austin Washington's Blog

VOTE: Milo Yiannopoulos - Dangerous Faggot or Harmless Poof

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Is Milo Yiannopoulos a dangerous faggot or a harmless poof?Dangerous FaggotHarmless Poof SurveyMaker

The Hidden, Secret Truth About Milo by Austinauthor of The Education of George Washington
We (and by we I mean the people that the people-who-hate-“hate” hate—what used to be referred to as "normal" people) are alleg Read more of this blog post »

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Published on February 25, 2017 09:20

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