Thomas Curran

“That’s the thing about high standards: they don’t have to come with insecurity. Only perfectionism grafts the two together. As Paul understands it, perfectionism isn’t about perfecting things or tasks, nor is it about striving for especially high standards in, say, your assignments, appearances, parenting, or relationships. It’s far, far deeper than that. It’s about perfecting ourselves, or to be more exact, perfecting our imperfect selves; going through life in defensive mode, concealing every last blemish, flaw, and shortcoming from those around us.”
― Thomas Curran, The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough

“How we behave is influenced by how others behave. We like to think we’re as free as birds, that we’re completely unique individuals, and certainly very different from most people around us. But in actual fact, we’re not unique in the slightest.”
― Thomas Curran, The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough

“When we speak of privilege, we often focus on the frills of advantage, forgetting the more basic benefit: an absence of obstacles.”
― Thomas Curran, The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough

“Contrary to Nietzsche’s famous maxim, perfectionists aren’t strengthened in the trying times. They’re weakened. Left untreated, repeated knockdowns so injure perfectionists’ self-esteem that they begin to feel helpless, and in extreme cases like mine, hopeless. No wonder perfectionism is so enormously damaging. ‘There’s this assumption that perfectionism means we’re more resilient,’ Paul told me. ‘But actually, perfectionism is the opposite of resilience – anti-resilience – if you will. It makes people extremely insecure, self-conscious and vulnerable to even the smallest hassles. If you don’t seek help, it’s easy to see how that vulnerability creates substantial, deep-rooted and enduring distress.”
― Thomas Curran, The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough