Sara Niles's Blog: Sara Nile's Blog - Posts Tagged "memoirs"
Mission Based Writing
http://impactbooksandart.com/
Sometimes the reason for writing compels the author until the work is finished:
I was born naturally gifted with a talent for writing that was polished by traumatic life experiences which fueled the passion behind my writing.
Torn From the Inside Out was my first book; the writing of which began in 1995, eight years after being forced to flee for my life with five young children in 1987 when I was only twenty nine years old.
I wrote Torn From the Inside Out using the pseudonym Sara Niles, pouring out my deep-seated pain and anguish of having been a victim of domestic violence for almost fifteen years, along with my repressed fears and untold secrets; thus releasing the shame and guilt that comes with such an oppressed life and shedding it forever.
Much of my education was accrued l ‘hard way’ as my Uncle Robert used to say, for example, my own personal knowledge merged with empirical statistics reveals that domestic violence and family discord tend to follow victims throughout family generations, as Learned Behavior and negative images from childhood, are hard to shake free. It is because of my knowledge of such factors gained after having completed the writing of Torn From the Inside Out and subsequently obtaining education and training in the field of psychology and human behavior, that I realized the story had only begun. In order to properly address the complications of embodied in family dysfunction, two more books were needed in order to tell the ‘rest of the story’ as Paul Harvey (1918-2009) famously said.
The Torn Trilogy was completed in 2011, after almost sixteen years of struggle and strain toward the literary ‘finish line’, the crowning touch of my life’s work.
The Torn Trilogy is a twelve-hundred page mammoth work that includes Torn From the Inside Out, The Journey and Out of the Maelstrom. The Journey is the story of the children of ‘Torn’, as they fought to find their way in the world and Out of the Maelstrom is told from outside my own personal experience as I came in contact with ‘others’, such as the woman who was set aflame and wore the scars to prove it, the children whose animal-like behavior marked them as cases of ‘Reactive Attachment Disorder’ (RAD), as they exhibited the extreme symptoms of having lived in savage conditions with savage people. The third book of the Torn Trilogy broadens the perspective of the massive problem that arises when ‘man against man’ is the common theme within family bonds, as the selected individual accounts defy both morality and humanity. With the final book of the trilogy, speaking as the first hand narrator (Sara Niles), I emerged out of the maelstrom only to find a world of people still trapped within it, thus Out of the Maelstrom stands as a testament to not only the suffering inflicted upon man, but more importantly, the power of the human spirit to survive against all odds.
Sara Niles
I am Sara Niles. I spent ten years as a domestic violence counselor and Trainer, after my escape in 1987, and having obtained a post-secondary education. My work inside the front lines of domestic violence allowed me to come face to face with thousands of victims and victimizers. It was through this personal exposure that I realized how ingrained the stain of human dysfunction can become and how difficult it is to escape it. The generational impact of domestic abuse, dysfunction and violence not only affects individuals by warping the schema of children when their perceptions are most impressionable, but it spills into society via drug and substance addiction and deviant behavior that often ends in imprisonment.
I have always loved the art of great literature, and developed an affinity for the classics at a young age that has matured over the years like taste in fine wine. If had lived an ideal life, I would have written about ideal lives, but because I lived and survived an unconventional life filled with an undue amount of trauma and loss, my writings are filled with the passion and pain of traumatic experiences.
My drive to write about such a serious subject as domestic violence and family dysfunction is integral to my qualifications as a writer: A former victim of extreme domestic violence as a young woman; spent twelve years obtaining an academic education along with professional work experience. My extensive training in psychology, sociology, the behavioral sciences, as well as over a decade working in the fields of domestic violence, mental health and drug addiction counseling, enabled me to include the subtle dynamics of human motivation within my writings, embedded unobtrusively like a shadow and to write the final book of the Torn Trilogy from a humanistic, global perspective.
The Torn Trilogy
Sometimes the reason for writing compels the author until the work is finished:
I was born naturally gifted with a talent for writing that was polished by traumatic life experiences which fueled the passion behind my writing.
Torn From the Inside Out was my first book; the writing of which began in 1995, eight years after being forced to flee for my life with five young children in 1987 when I was only twenty nine years old.
I wrote Torn From the Inside Out using the pseudonym Sara Niles, pouring out my deep-seated pain and anguish of having been a victim of domestic violence for almost fifteen years, along with my repressed fears and untold secrets; thus releasing the shame and guilt that comes with such an oppressed life and shedding it forever.
Much of my education was accrued l ‘hard way’ as my Uncle Robert used to say, for example, my own personal knowledge merged with empirical statistics reveals that domestic violence and family discord tend to follow victims throughout family generations, as Learned Behavior and negative images from childhood, are hard to shake free. It is because of my knowledge of such factors gained after having completed the writing of Torn From the Inside Out and subsequently obtaining education and training in the field of psychology and human behavior, that I realized the story had only begun. In order to properly address the complications of embodied in family dysfunction, two more books were needed in order to tell the ‘rest of the story’ as Paul Harvey (1918-2009) famously said.
The Torn Trilogy was completed in 2011, after almost sixteen years of struggle and strain toward the literary ‘finish line’, the crowning touch of my life’s work.
The Torn Trilogy is a twelve-hundred page mammoth work that includes Torn From the Inside Out, The Journey and Out of the Maelstrom. The Journey is the story of the children of ‘Torn’, as they fought to find their way in the world and Out of the Maelstrom is told from outside my own personal experience as I came in contact with ‘others’, such as the woman who was set aflame and wore the scars to prove it, the children whose animal-like behavior marked them as cases of ‘Reactive Attachment Disorder’ (RAD), as they exhibited the extreme symptoms of having lived in savage conditions with savage people. The third book of the Torn Trilogy broadens the perspective of the massive problem that arises when ‘man against man’ is the common theme within family bonds, as the selected individual accounts defy both morality and humanity. With the final book of the trilogy, speaking as the first hand narrator (Sara Niles), I emerged out of the maelstrom only to find a world of people still trapped within it, thus Out of the Maelstrom stands as a testament to not only the suffering inflicted upon man, but more importantly, the power of the human spirit to survive against all odds.
Sara Niles
I am Sara Niles. I spent ten years as a domestic violence counselor and Trainer, after my escape in 1987, and having obtained a post-secondary education. My work inside the front lines of domestic violence allowed me to come face to face with thousands of victims and victimizers. It was through this personal exposure that I realized how ingrained the stain of human dysfunction can become and how difficult it is to escape it. The generational impact of domestic abuse, dysfunction and violence not only affects individuals by warping the schema of children when their perceptions are most impressionable, but it spills into society via drug and substance addiction and deviant behavior that often ends in imprisonment.
I have always loved the art of great literature, and developed an affinity for the classics at a young age that has matured over the years like taste in fine wine. If had lived an ideal life, I would have written about ideal lives, but because I lived and survived an unconventional life filled with an undue amount of trauma and loss, my writings are filled with the passion and pain of traumatic experiences.
My drive to write about such a serious subject as domestic violence and family dysfunction is integral to my qualifications as a writer: A former victim of extreme domestic violence as a young woman; spent twelve years obtaining an academic education along with professional work experience. My extensive training in psychology, sociology, the behavioral sciences, as well as over a decade working in the fields of domestic violence, mental health and drug addiction counseling, enabled me to include the subtle dynamics of human motivation within my writings, embedded unobtrusively like a shadow and to write the final book of the Torn Trilogy from a humanistic, global perspective.
The Torn Trilogy
A Writing Journey
A Most Unusual Life Wish:
A Bucket List to Remember
July 12, 2013
By Sara Niles (A.K.A. Josephine Thompson)
The term ‘bucket list’ is a term that was made more popular by the 2007 movie by the same title: The Bucket List and it means to list things that you want to do before you die. Most people list things that they never got around to, or special achievements that may have been lifetime dreams.
I have one primary thing in my life that has achieved a ‘do or die’, sacred mission status to me: it is the one thing I want to do, no matter what happens in my life. It is the thing that is of greatest importance to me, besides the most obvious and universal goal that most of us who are human share, that of putting family and loved ones first; but in order to clearly articulate why this one thing is so important to me, I have to tell a short version of my long life. The life altering, and consuming mission that I have been propelled into, was aroused by my own personal life experiences and cultivated by unfortunate circumstances along my journey.
In order to tell the story of my mission, I have to tell a snippet version of my life:
I was born to a country prostitute during a time when race relations in the southern United States were less than ideal and as a result, as a child of mixed race in the 1950’s, I was given away to my great-great uncle and aunt to raise, both of whom were in their eighties when I was barely past my toddling years. My relatives died while I was still a child and I married a man who was both abusive and mentally unstable, and about fifteen years and five children later, I found myself on a run for my life with five small children. After a traumatic upheaval, my children and I found an oasis of sorts in a small community in another state and life appeared to be grand.
To make a long story short and without telling the details, life was far from grand, as I discovered over the years. My five children had been damaged psychologically in ways that were not readily apparent, and it would take years before I fully understood the triple impact of domestic violence and abuse upon impressionable young children, or how childhood abuse affects them as adults. The impact of prolonged and extreme dysfunction is often triple and generational, successive generations are affected. I call this triple effect that predisposes victims toward drug addiction, trauma reactions and mental health issues, the ‘Three Headed Monster’.
My mission is to keep the Three Headed Monster at bay and my tools are my words: I wrote The Torn Trilogy, a monumental 1200 page work that is a testament of the power of the human spirit under fire, and as a long mission statement against family dysfunction and extreme domestic violence.
When my mission is completed, I want to visit one of the greatest mountains in the world:
Mount Kilimanjaro
A Bucket List to Remember
July 12, 2013
By Sara Niles (A.K.A. Josephine Thompson)
The term ‘bucket list’ is a term that was made more popular by the 2007 movie by the same title: The Bucket List and it means to list things that you want to do before you die. Most people list things that they never got around to, or special achievements that may have been lifetime dreams.
I have one primary thing in my life that has achieved a ‘do or die’, sacred mission status to me: it is the one thing I want to do, no matter what happens in my life. It is the thing that is of greatest importance to me, besides the most obvious and universal goal that most of us who are human share, that of putting family and loved ones first; but in order to clearly articulate why this one thing is so important to me, I have to tell a short version of my long life. The life altering, and consuming mission that I have been propelled into, was aroused by my own personal life experiences and cultivated by unfortunate circumstances along my journey.
In order to tell the story of my mission, I have to tell a snippet version of my life:
I was born to a country prostitute during a time when race relations in the southern United States were less than ideal and as a result, as a child of mixed race in the 1950’s, I was given away to my great-great uncle and aunt to raise, both of whom were in their eighties when I was barely past my toddling years. My relatives died while I was still a child and I married a man who was both abusive and mentally unstable, and about fifteen years and five children later, I found myself on a run for my life with five small children. After a traumatic upheaval, my children and I found an oasis of sorts in a small community in another state and life appeared to be grand.
To make a long story short and without telling the details, life was far from grand, as I discovered over the years. My five children had been damaged psychologically in ways that were not readily apparent, and it would take years before I fully understood the triple impact of domestic violence and abuse upon impressionable young children, or how childhood abuse affects them as adults. The impact of prolonged and extreme dysfunction is often triple and generational, successive generations are affected. I call this triple effect that predisposes victims toward drug addiction, trauma reactions and mental health issues, the ‘Three Headed Monster’.
My mission is to keep the Three Headed Monster at bay and my tools are my words: I wrote The Torn Trilogy, a monumental 1200 page work that is a testament of the power of the human spirit under fire, and as a long mission statement against family dysfunction and extreme domestic violence.
When my mission is completed, I want to visit one of the greatest mountains in the world:
Mount Kilimanjaro
Domestic Violence Dialogue
https://www.goodreads.com/group/show/...
Is Domestic Violence a Societal Issue:
In response to ongoing dialogue:
"I second both of you in your powerful and accurately worded stances on societal views of domestic abuse.
People tend to examine the world from their own points of reference, which limits their understanding of some issues-that is-if they did not experience it to the same degree then they many not understand it-that in turn, limits the empathetic response and encourages apathy.
Another societal problem with abuse is that many former victims of childhood abuse think they need not think about it again-just move on, stuff it, and pretend it did not happen.This does not fix the problem with the individual, and it does not improve the collective health of society-instead it fosters the 'sweep-it-under-the rug' societal state of denial.
In addition to societal denial,there is societal 'projection' in which the victim is blamed for being 'stupid'....and of course if you can believe that what happened to 'the victim' happened only because they were stupid, then you only have to be 'smart' to not be victimized. The illusion of invulnerability is created and it helps people feel they have control when they say "I would never let that happen to me", not understanding the total dynamic involved. Just as individuals use such tactics to avoid feeling vulnerable-so do collective groups; and eventually, group attitudes become cultural 'norms'...that is what we have now.
In both cases,societal denial and victim blaming- the real issue gets ignored, which is the need to do something to change the cycle of abuse,
that affects huge numbers of children growing up who will have issues as adults. Changing cultural norms is part of what needs to be done (much like in the situation when slavery existed, and when gay people were considered outcasts).
Domestic abuse is extremely widespread and includes all forms of family dysfunction from emotional and psychological abuse by caretakers of both genders, to sexual and physical abuse.As you both stated-many children are affected and this is a BIG issue in our society.When you consider most people addicted to substances and negative behaviors, were childhood abuse victims-and most people in the prisons were childhood abuse victims-this is an issue of pandemic proportions. It is a societal issue, not just an individual one, and will have to be consistently addressed on a societal level in order to change things.
Public awareness and education is essential to changing public perception. The children absorb societal attitudes-and then the children grow up and become the 'new' society"
Sara
The Railroad
Torn From the Inside Out
Is Domestic Violence a Societal Issue:
In response to ongoing dialogue:
"I second both of you in your powerful and accurately worded stances on societal views of domestic abuse.
People tend to examine the world from their own points of reference, which limits their understanding of some issues-that is-if they did not experience it to the same degree then they many not understand it-that in turn, limits the empathetic response and encourages apathy.
Another societal problem with abuse is that many former victims of childhood abuse think they need not think about it again-just move on, stuff it, and pretend it did not happen.This does not fix the problem with the individual, and it does not improve the collective health of society-instead it fosters the 'sweep-it-under-the rug' societal state of denial.
In addition to societal denial,there is societal 'projection' in which the victim is blamed for being 'stupid'....and of course if you can believe that what happened to 'the victim' happened only because they were stupid, then you only have to be 'smart' to not be victimized. The illusion of invulnerability is created and it helps people feel they have control when they say "I would never let that happen to me", not understanding the total dynamic involved. Just as individuals use such tactics to avoid feeling vulnerable-so do collective groups; and eventually, group attitudes become cultural 'norms'...that is what we have now.
In both cases,societal denial and victim blaming- the real issue gets ignored, which is the need to do something to change the cycle of abuse,
that affects huge numbers of children growing up who will have issues as adults. Changing cultural norms is part of what needs to be done (much like in the situation when slavery existed, and when gay people were considered outcasts).
Domestic abuse is extremely widespread and includes all forms of family dysfunction from emotional and psychological abuse by caretakers of both genders, to sexual and physical abuse.As you both stated-many children are affected and this is a BIG issue in our society.When you consider most people addicted to substances and negative behaviors, were childhood abuse victims-and most people in the prisons were childhood abuse victims-this is an issue of pandemic proportions. It is a societal issue, not just an individual one, and will have to be consistently addressed on a societal level in order to change things.
Public awareness and education is essential to changing public perception. The children absorb societal attitudes-and then the children grow up and become the 'new' society"
Sara
The Railroad
Torn From the Inside Out
Broken Families, Broken Children by Sara Niles
April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month
Child Welfare: Child Abuse Prevention
Child Broken by Sara Niles
Broken families tend to create broken children.
I worked for almost a decade for a domestic violence agency, and during that time I came in contact with children who were severely damaged by the trauma they experienced during their short lives. The cognitive, emotional and behavioral aspects of child development can be altered by trauma; and in extreme trauma that also includes betrayal and abandonment, children can be reduced to an almost animal-like state.
In Child Broken, taken from Out of the Maelstrom such a case is presented:
"We all assumed that the boys and their mother would relax and become friendlier after a few days, but what we did not know was the extent and duration of the torturous life these two boys had lived, the kind of life that can make an animal out of an innocent child"
Free on Amazon April 7-9
Child Broken: From Out of the Maelstrom
Child Welfare: Child Abuse Prevention
Child Broken by Sara Niles
Broken families tend to create broken children.
I worked for almost a decade for a domestic violence agency, and during that time I came in contact with children who were severely damaged by the trauma they experienced during their short lives. The cognitive, emotional and behavioral aspects of child development can be altered by trauma; and in extreme trauma that also includes betrayal and abandonment, children can be reduced to an almost animal-like state.
In Child Broken, taken from Out of the Maelstrom such a case is presented:
"We all assumed that the boys and their mother would relax and become friendlier after a few days, but what we did not know was the extent and duration of the torturous life these two boys had lived, the kind of life that can make an animal out of an innocent child"
Free on Amazon April 7-9
Child Broken: From Out of the Maelstrom
Review of 'WILL' by Sara Niles
Will Smith is internationally well known as possibly THE greatest Movie Star of all time; definitely one of the best and most successful. The television series The Fresh Prince was partly autobiographical in context; however nothing in The Fresh Prince denotes the true backstory of family strength and unity amid abuse. The internal conflict Will Smith portrays throughout the book is the secret to his fame. Nothing drives a person like conflict and a desire to rise above it; especially when that conflict is your life.
The story Willthe perfect title for the book and description of his life. The humor within the pages is sublimated underneath the pain. The pain is what created one of the world's funniest humans, and one of the world's best actors. The earliest memories of Will was in his role as family comedian and actor, which is the epitome of Dysfunctional Family Systems in which Roles are assigned for the sake of family survival.
Educational and informative, but always entertaining, because Will IS the entertainer extraordinaire. Within the travels of Will Smith, we will meet some of the greatest humans every to walk the earth, and see them through the eyes of The Fresh Prince of Belair-and later through the eyes of merely 'Will'. The life story is Will is a Quest, you will find; like the Quest of Homer's The Odyssey
The story travels through unusual territories and terrains, provides insights into human nature, and culminates with the seeking behavior that all humans engage in: the search for happiness and inner peace.
Did Will Smith find himself? You
The story Willthe perfect title for the book and description of his life. The humor within the pages is sublimated underneath the pain. The pain is what created one of the world's funniest humans, and one of the world's best actors. The earliest memories of Will was in his role as family comedian and actor, which is the epitome of Dysfunctional Family Systems in which Roles are assigned for the sake of family survival.
Educational and informative, but always entertaining, because Will IS the entertainer extraordinaire. Within the travels of Will Smith, we will meet some of the greatest humans every to walk the earth, and see them through the eyes of The Fresh Prince of Belair-and later through the eyes of merely 'Will'. The life story is Will is a Quest, you will find; like the Quest of Homer's The Odyssey
The story travels through unusual territories and terrains, provides insights into human nature, and culminates with the seeking behavior that all humans engage in: the search for happiness and inner peace.
Did Will Smith find himself? You
Sara Nile's Blog
"My writing is mission oriented and imbued with a deeper purpose because of my traumatic life experiences: I write nonfiction in order to make an appreciable dent in the effect of domestic violence an
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