Kathryn Combs

“At times, it seems the leash Abramovich has me on is rather a long one, but that is just another part of his cruel game—effecting the illusion of freedom. A game he has no doubt been playing with Taj for much of his life. Little freedoms were granted me right off the bat from the moment I stepped foot on this planet. Much of my time is spent on my own, for example, roaming freely about the compound and right out the front door to the cliffs below, should it suit me. Beyond that, Abramovich is often forthcoming with
select information and relatively open with my access to the network. This
includes allowing me visibility into the schematics of most of his creations
that are stored there. I can only assume it is because he does not see me, or
more precisely, my intellect, as much of a threat. I suppose I’ll consider it an
advantage, one of the few unwittingly granted my age and gender, and that is
the advantage of being overlooked, unseen, and underestimated.

I think back to the day I arrived at the compound and met Abramovich for
the first time. Just blown in off the tundra, I was no more than a sickly waif
still reeling at the revelation that he had burned our beloved, wicked world.
In retrospect, it serves me well to have appeared weak—a non-threat—and
as much as I resent being treated as inferior simply because I am young and I am female, I recognize that it allows me to capitalize on the regular gross underestimation of my brain, my guts, and my spine that I’ve encountered thus far in life.

My gender, we are silent killers when the time comes, and it would
behoove those who assume otherwise to recognize it. Mordecai Abramovich
is one upon whom I can promise you it is lost. Today, every day before, and
likely every day after, he remains in the dark about the sort of hell that will
one day rain down on him by my hand. Presently, I am nothing more than a
pawn to him to be used and manipulated. However, Imani always said, “We
teach people how to treat us,” so maybe if I can live through this, he will
learn something new about my gender through me that isn’t written in his
Founders’ Creed.”
― Kathryn Combs, Sancta Femina