Larry Benjamin's Blog: Larry Benjamin's blog - This Writer's Life - Posts Tagged "ernest"

Nigel Gale @MannequinMan
Have you seen ernest!’s column today?

Barbara @Harvard06
No, not before my morning tea!

Prometheus Jones @Theus
I just read it. You may want to read it on an empty stomach

Just Plain Terry (JPT) @FierceQueen
Honestly, ernest! is always seeing racists under the bed.

Prometheus Jones @Theus
Well, in his defense, when your only tool is a hammer, everything tends to look like a nail.

Barbara @Harvard06
Well, for someone with a degree in journalism, he doesn’t follow any of the rules of impartiality.

ernest! had gone to the same Ivy League institution as Barbara the first, but he’d managed to circumvent accusations of privilege and access by casting his undergraduate years not as a stroll through hallowed, ivy-covered halls, but rather as an unavoidable incarceration in a PWI—Predominately White Institution. Barbara wore her Harvard degree like a gold star; ernest! wore his like a Purple Heart.

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ernest!, unrelenting in his criticism, and unwilling to bend, had accused the company of using money instead of true action to try and dissuade others from the veracity of his accusations. In response, Lizzy Borden started sponsoring all sorts of events combating discrimination of every stripe, sending an army of employees and leaders to parrot scripted messages of support and decrying white privilege while marching in lockstep, in flawlessly tailored suits, with Social Justice Warriors. Ted Talks, conferences galas and balls were financially supported indiscriminately and with equal zeal.

This worked relatively well until Lizzie Borden ended up sponsoring a high-profile gala for an LGBTQ social justice organization, Community Advancement Coalition (CAC), nicknamed Caviar and Champagne for their penchant for throwing $1,000 per plate fundraisers. Having sponsored the gala, and purchasing a table for 10, she had discovered, to no one’s surprise but her own, that scraping the barrel of leadership she couldn’t come up with 10 people who weren’t racist, or homophobic, or who gave a shit, thus Brett, Nigel and I were pressed into service as the company’s gay emissaries. And that is how we found ourselves at the annual Community Advancement Coalition Gala.

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