Kasey Mathews's Blog

Recently I spoke with a woman who was deeply hurt by her adult child and completely stuck in the story of what had happened.

What if you focused less on what they did to you and more on how you want to move forward?

That conversation stayed with me and brought to mind a powerful idea from The Success Principles by Jack Canfield about taking responsibility for our lives — not in a self-blaming way, but in a way that opens the door to awareness and possibility.

Because sometimes the moment that changes everything is the one when we pause and ask ourselves a different question.

If I set this story down,
I open myself to…

Read the full reflection on Substack.

Check out some of my other pieces on living life with intention.

The post When You’re Stuck in the Story appeared first on Kasey Mathews. The Usual Magic.

How letting it be easy became a North Star

A few years back, a former coaching client reached out and asked if we could meet. She said there was something she wanted to share with me.

She chose a small coffee shop near her office – exposed beams, wide pine floors, and wooden tabletops. When I walked in, the hum of the espresso machine and low conversation filled the room.

She was already seated and jumped up to give me a big hug. When she pulled back, her smile stretched from ear to ear. She slid back into the chair across from me, and for the first few minutes we caught up, passing our phones back and forth and sharing favorite photos of our kids and dogs.

Then she looked down, touched her sleeve, and grew quiet.

When we had worked together years earlier, she was ambitious, driven, and deeply capable, building a business while raising two small children. But she constantly found herself bumping up against challenge and struggle. She questioned her decisions, deferred to the opinions of others, and allowed herself to be pulled into drama that wasn’t hers.

“What am I doing wrong?” she had asked.

As I often do in my coaching, I gently held up a mirror. Not with judgment, but with curiosity.

And at some point, I asked her a simple question…

Read the full reflection on Substack here →

Four Words that Changed Everything

You can find more reflections like this on my blog.

The post Four Words That Changed Everything appeared first on Kasey Mathews. The Usual Magic.

When your child becomes your life coach, it often happens quietly – in ordinary conversations, unexpected questions, and moments when we least expect to be taught.

As January unfolds, I always find myself pausing to reflect on where I am, what I’m hoping for, and what it might be time to leave behind. Lately, I’ve been thinking about how my children have shaped me, not just as a mother, but as a person still learning how to live well.

Ever since they arrived, I’ve said my children are my greatest teachers. What I didn’t anticipate is that, as they’ve grown into adults, they would step so naturally into the role of my life coaches.

My son has been my steady presence – grounding me emotionally while encouraging me to take better care of my body. Calm. Reasonable. Assured. Our in-house Buddha.

My daughter, on the other hand, has become my annual strategist. Every January, she gives me what she calls my “assignment.” One year it was about stepping outside my comfort zone. Another year it focused on connection and widening my circle.

This year, when I realized my assignment hadn’t arrived, I asked her about it. She didn’t hesitate.

“What scares you the most?” she asked.

Her question landed before I could edit myself. I spoke honestly about my growing awareness of how precious life is, and how frightening it feels to imagine losing it – or someone I love – in an instant.

Her response was simple and unsettling in the best way: live as if you don’t know you’ll have tomorrow.

That idea scared me. And it also felt true.

When your child becomes your life coach, they often invite you to stop postponing the things that quietly matter most. To say yes sooner. To trust what lights you up, even when hesitation feels safer.

This reflection is an invitation to consider what might change if we listened more closely – not just to our children, but to ourselves.

Read the full reflection on Substack here →
When Your Child Becomes Your Life Coach

You can find more reflections like this on my blog.

The post When Your Child Becomes Your Life Coach appeared first on Kasey Mathews. The Usual Magic.

What to say when you don’t know what to say is a question many of us find ourselves asking – especially as the holiday season approaches and emotions run closer to the surface.

This past November, I had the privilege of presenting at the annual Hand to Hold Mental Health Conference. My session centered around a simple tool I’ve leaned on for years: scripts.

Scripts are short, empowering phrases you can carry with you for moments when the right words feel just out of reach. They offer steadiness when emotions are high and conversations feel loaded.

My talk focused on how helpful these scripts can be for NICU parents, who often find themselves navigating conversations with medical teams, family members, and well-meaning friends who don’t fully understand the complexity of what they’re living through. In those moments, having a prepared phrase can make all the difference.

But the truth is, this tool isn’t just for NICU parents.

We can all benefit from knowing what to say when we don’t know what to say – especially during the holidays.

This season can stir up old stories, unresolved emotions, family dynamics, and the pressure to show up with cheer even when our energy is low. The holidays can be both beautiful and overwhelming, full of connection and nostalgia, but also grief, loneliness, and exhaustion.

In moments like these, a simple one-line script can offer space to pause, breathe, and respond in a way that feels true to you rather than reactive or rushed.

A core belief in my coaching work is that clarity creates calm. When we speak from steadiness, even gently, we’re more likely to be met with understanding.

If this resonates, I invite you to explore a few of my favorite scripts and the deeper thinking behind them in the full piece on Substack.

Read the full reflection on Substack here →
When You Don’t Know What to Say…

You can also find more reflections like this on my blog.

The post Simple scripts to help you stay steady in the holiday swirl appeared first on Kasey Mathews. The Usual Magic.

Uncertainty and grace have been constant companions in my life, especially as Thanksgiving approaches and milestones arrive.

As Thanksgiving approaches, I find myself feeling especially reflective.

Our daughter, Andie – who arrived at just 25 weeks – turns 25 years old on Thanksgiving Day.

Sometimes it feels like just yesterday I was sitting beside her isolette in the NICU, wishing for a crystal ball. I wanted to skip past the fear and the fragile in-between and land safely in certainty. I wanted reassurance that she would be okay, that we would be okay.

But life doesn’t come with crystal balls.

Over time, I learned one of the most important lessons of my life – that the very thing I wanted to escape was not a detour. It was life itself. Learning to live with uncertainty softened me in ways I didn’t know I needed and strengthened parts of me I might never have built otherwise.

This past year has brought its own challenges. Our daughter faced surgeries and setbacks that interrupted both her health and the early beginnings of adult life. And yet, she kept going. Quietly. Steadily. With a resilience that continues to humble me.

As a mother, I’m reminded that resilience is rarely one dramatic moment. More often, it’s built through small, ordinary acts of courage – choosing to show up, choosing to keep moving, choosing to meet ourselves where we are.

This season feels tender, not just for me, but for so many. If you’ve been navigating your own uncertainties this year, I hope this reflection offers a small reminder that you are not behind and you are not failing.

Uncertainty and grace often walk hand in hand.

Read On Significant Milestones, Uncertainty, and Grace on Substack

This reflection is part of my ongoing writing here on my blog.

The post Uncertainty and Grace – On Significant Milestones and Resilience appeared first on Kasey Mathews. The Usual Magic.

Over the summer, I found myself reflecting on one of the most valuable lessons I learned as a young mother…

When my daughter was small, she would sometimes grow fussy or unsettled, and I would rush to figure out the problem.

Was she hungry? Tired? Upset?

I would try to fix things, and, if I’m honest, I’d get frustrated when nothing worked.

Until one day I discovered a simple shift.

If I knelt down and brought myself to her eye level, or even a little lower, and softly asked her, “What do you need?” something beautiful usually happened.

Her body softened. The fussing ended. She relaxed into herself and into me.

And I realized – it wasn’t food or a nap she needed. It was acknowledgment. It was being seen. It was being heard.

That moment of witnessing her, of offering my presence instead of my solutions, was often more powerful than anything else I could do…

This is an excerpt from my Substack, where I share weekly reflections on presence, parenting, and everyday magic. You can read the full piece here

This reflection is part of my ongoing writing on presence, parenting adult children, and living with intention. You can explore more on my blog here

If this resonated, you’re warmly invited to join me on Substack for reflections like this one.

The post What Do You Need? The Power of Being Seen appeared first on Kasey Mathews. The Usual Magic.

As I type this, I’m sitting on the coast of New Hampshire in my son’s winter rental. He’s off teaching a flight lesson, and I’m here with the dogs, waiting for him to return so we can make breakfast.

I’m doing my best to stay sitting in the corner of his couch, resisting the urge to wash the dishes in the sink, clear off the counters, and give his bathroom a good scrub.

As I sit here now, literally on my hands to keep myself from picking up a broom and sweeping up the floor, I’m recalling the recent conversation I had with one of my dearest friends...

Read the rest here – Kasey Mathews on Substack

If this story speaks to your heart, you might enjoy my Substack, where I share tender reflections, everyday magic, and gentle invitations to pause, breathe, and reconnect. It’s a cozy corner of the internet where I write about life, motherhood, creativity, healing, and all the quiet moments in between.

Kasey Mathews Substack

Here’s an older post on my journey after children had left the nest – The Importance of Rest

The post New Trails in Motherhood appeared first on Kasey Mathews. The Usual Magic.

Seventeen years ago, we moved into our New Hampshire home. Nestled against the back stone wall was a black walnut tree, a quiet, unassuming presence that had been there long before us. Its sparse branches gave it a sculptural beauty, and though it wasn’t the healthiest tree, it thrived in its own way, offering a perch for birds and a playground for squirrels.

We lovingly dubbed it the “self-trimming tree” as branches would drop off over the years, leaving it ever more weathered, yet still standing. It was my daily reminder of resilience, persistence, and the quiet elegance that comes with imperfection.

But time, as it does, wore on.

What followed surprised me—and opened up something tender and true.
You can read the full story (and feel into what you might be ready to release, too) over on Substack:

Click here to read the full post on Substack

If this story speaks to your heart, you might enjoy my Substack, where I share tender reflections, everyday magic, and gentle invitations to pause, breathe, and reconnect. It’s a cozy corner of the internet where I write about life, motherhood, creativity, healing, and all the quiet moments in between.

Come join me here.

The post Letting Go: A Story About a Tree, Time, and Trust appeared first on Kasey Mathews. The Usual Magic.

Sometimes, if you allow yourself to be guided, you just may find connection in unexpected moments.

That’s exactly what happened to me.

It was at the end of this summer, on a typical Sunday evening, I was running my end-of -the-weekend trash drop off to our local landfill. My plan was to swing by the small convenience store nearby to pick up a bottle of wine on my way home. But just as I was about to head there, my daughter called.

She sounded amused and concerned as she told me our cat, Lulu, had decided to follow her and our dog, Georgie Girl, on their walk around the lake. She asked if I could meet them and bring Lulu back home.

So, I turned the car around. As I was pulling into our driveway, I thought, “Maybe I don’t need that wine tonight.” But as I shut off the car, I got a nudge: Go get that wine.

So… I started the car again and headed to the convenience store.

When I got there, I noticed two bikes propped up outside, covered in travel gear, soaked by the rain. Inside, I found two women—mother and daughter—huddled over their phones, clearly trying to find directions. Curiosity got the better of me, so I struck up a conversation.

Turns out, they were on a remarkable journey, biking all the way from Boston to Montreal. They were trying to make it to a state park a few towns over where they planned to camp for the night. But given the rainy night, I offered them something a bit more comfortable: a hot shower and a warm place to sleep at our house.

They looked at each other for a second, clearly weighing their options, before gratefully accepting. I drove home to announce to my husband and kids that we were hosting some last-minute guests. My daughter, ever the pragmatic one, immediately asked, “Mom, are you crazy? You don’t even know these people!”

But within half an hour of their arrival, my husband was in the garage tuning up the daughter’s bike, and the mom and I were on the back porch, glasses of wine in hand, sharing stories. Eventually, the kids joined us as we prepared dinner together, turning what began as a quiet Sunday into a lively and lovely evening.

As we got to know each other, I learned about the mom’s amazing work. She had started a nonprofit in Boston to help Ukrainian refugees settle in the area, connecting them with essential resources and support. Her story was inspiring, and it stayed with me long after they pedaled away the next morning.

Since then, we’ve kept in touch, and I feel compelled to share this experience. It reminded me of how life nudges us in unexpected directions, often with no clear reason in the moment. That bottle of wine I wasn’t sure I needed, led to a chance encounter that became a beautiful memory—and a lasting connection.

I also wanted to share about Olga’s work. If you feel inspired, look into her organization and consider helping out or contributing to their cause. Her team is doing something extraordinary, and any support makes a difference.

​Olga’s List – helping Ukrainian refugees transition into their new lives

So, I leave you with this: Where in your life are you being guided? Are you noticing small signs that might lead to something beautiful? Or is this your moment to start paying closer attention?

Sometimes the path we’re meant to be on begins with a little nudge… and I’m so grateful I followed mine that rainy night.

Ready for more inspirational stories – Be sure to check out the rest of The Usual Magic Blog!

The post Finding Connection in Unexpected Moments appeared first on Kasey Mathews. The Usual Magic.

I believe staying curious and inspired is one of the best ways to keep yourself young and vital. It’s a common question I get in my coaching practice – How do I stay Inspired?

As all my coaching clients know, I love to teach through story. So here’s one of my favorites!

When we first moved to New Hampshire, I was invited into a local book group. Each month, a different woman would choose the book to read.We’d been there about six months when it was my turn.

And it’s probably no surprise to you, but I chose a book on self-development.

I remember so vividly, a couple of days before our group was due to meet, bumping into one of the women from the book group at our local workout club. She has just come off the tennis court as I was waiting to go on.

“Will I see you tomorrow night?” I asked. She gave me this small smile, reached into her bag, and pulled out the book I had picked.

“You know, Kasey,” she said, “At this point, I’m 65 years old and it’s just too late in life for me to start learning something new.”

I was caught so off-guard.

I had a thousand things I wanted to say, but since I was still new to the area, I just smiled politely and headed onto the court.

But her words lingered with me long after that conversation.

Because here’s the thing… I don’t believe it’s ever too late.

This summer, I taped up a piece of paper in the kitchen that said: We are just getting started.

My son and all his mid-20s friends saw it, nodded, and said, “That’s exactly how it feels right now.”

But the truth is, it’s not just them—it’s all of us.

It’s my neighbor with her newborn baby. It’s my friend whose child just left for college. It’s my other friend who recently moved to a new city and began a new job. And it’s my 88-year-old father in law who is constantly looking for new opportunities to learn and grow.

Every phase of life brings a new beginning, and opportunity to grow and discover something expansive.

When we stop learning and growing, I believe that’s when we start to wither—when we stop striving to become the best versions of ourselves.

What happens, really, when we decide we’re too old to change?

What happens when we shut our minds to new ideas or close our hearts to fresh perspectives?

We miss out—on inspiration, on joy, and on becoming more than we ever imagined!

So my invitation to you, my friend, is this: Look for those places in life where you’ve been saying “no” and consider saying “yes”.

Push yourself just a little beyond what feels comfortable.

Say yes to learning. Say yes to growing. Say yes to the idea that you, too, are just getting started.

Because you are. We all are.

The post How to Stay Inspired appeared first on Kasey Mathews. The Usual Magic.