Ann Goering's Blog - Posts Tagged "hope"
Overwhelmed - when the good keeps you from the best
I was feeling overwhelmed. Again.
I looked longingly at my Bible on the coffee table, but knew the clock said I didn’t have time to read it.
I’d been up since 5 a.m. to have a Skype call with ministry partners in Hungary, and had a full day ahead of me, full of mommy tasks, working frantically during naptime, running my daughter to her competitive gymnastics practice, then rushing to make it in time for Wednesday night church. After church we would rush back home to get the kids in bed by 9:30. I might get to give my husband a kiss good night in passing, and then he would head to bed and I would stay up working until 3 a.m. with manufacturers in Asia. In the wee hours of the morning, I’d drop into bed for a couple of hours of sleep, before starting it all over again.
My day was full of really good things – ministry, family, motherhood, activities, church, purpose-filled work – and I loved it all. Truly. There was nothing I wanted to give up. But I was tired. Exhausted actually. And I was grouchy. I was stressed. I was irritable. And honestly, friends, I was running on empty. I was so busy doing work for the LORD, that I had long since had time for being with Him.
Maybe you can relate. In fact, I’m guessing you can.
Life is so busy. So, so busy.
There are activities to be part of, ministry, work, family, friends, and volunteer opportunities. Then there are the daily tasks like making and cleaning up meals, laundry, keeping a house, taking a shower, getting exercise – things that are mundane but necessary – and where do you fit them in? If you have kids in your life, you likely have dance practices, little league games, Friday night football, or volleyball games. You might have library story time, award dinners, and choir concerts. If you attend church there are likely weekend services, mid-week Bible studies, Wednesday night services, special conferences, committees, teams, and needs to fill. If you have friends and family, there are likely umpteen social events you should/want to attend every month. If you have a career, it’s likely that you have your normal work hours, plus covering for others, work emails 24/7 and pressing deadlines. I could go on and on, but I won’t, because we all get it, right? Life is busy.
We have become a culture so set on productivity and busyness, that I think sometimes, we’ve forgotten that it is OK to take time to breathe, to rest. And not only OK, but also oh, so valuable.
Why are we running from morning until night, packing so much into our days that we literally feel like we’re running ourselves into the ground? What are we trying to prove? Does God measure our worth by our productivity? Does He value us by how busy we are?
In Luke 10:38-42 we see the story of Mary and Martha. We’ve all heard it, right? You likely know it well. I’m paraphrasing here, but there are two sisters. One was busy serving and one sat at Jesus’ feet and listened to Him. The first asked Jesus to tell her sister to help her with all the work. Instead, Jesus says Mary – the one sitting at His feet and listening – had chosen the only thing that was needed and it would not be taken from her.
We take ourselves and our work (whatever that work might be) so seriously. We measure ourselves by our productivity, by the contribution we’re making. We measure others by theirs, too. But while we are called to do good works and they should absolutely be the evidence/outflowing of our love for Jesus, they will never be the one thing that He wants most.
So what is? Looking at Luke 10, simply put, it’s us. Our attention. Our willingness to listen. Our proximity to Him.
Serving is good and necessary, but service never equals relationship.
I can do a whole lot of things for my family (and I do), but that’s not what makes me deeply connected and in close relationship with them. A maid, a chef, and a taxi driver could do my work (and honestly, they could probably do it better!). Work doesn’t equal connection.
In a similar way, simply serving God does not equal an authentic, life-giving, personal relationship with Him. Service is an appropriate outflowing of love, but it is not the love itself.
After being convicted that I was seeking to prove my worth, rather than seek His face, I started the painful process of trimming back my life and my schedule to make some space. I cut out activities, closed one of our businesses, and uncommitted from a few ministry opportunities. It was hard. It was painful. But it made space. Space to breathe. Space to think. Space to feel. Space to sit at His feet. Space to pray. Space in the chaos of my thoughts, to hear His words. Space to ask what He was calling me to, and finding the space to do that.
There are so many things vying for our devotion. There are so many things crowding up our days and our thoughts, but only one thing is needed, and if we go after that, it will never be taken from us.
“But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42 (NLT)
“When You said, "Seek My face," my heart said to You, "Your face, O LORD, I shall seek." Psalms 27:8 (NASB)Ann Goering
I looked longingly at my Bible on the coffee table, but knew the clock said I didn’t have time to read it.
I’d been up since 5 a.m. to have a Skype call with ministry partners in Hungary, and had a full day ahead of me, full of mommy tasks, working frantically during naptime, running my daughter to her competitive gymnastics practice, then rushing to make it in time for Wednesday night church. After church we would rush back home to get the kids in bed by 9:30. I might get to give my husband a kiss good night in passing, and then he would head to bed and I would stay up working until 3 a.m. with manufacturers in Asia. In the wee hours of the morning, I’d drop into bed for a couple of hours of sleep, before starting it all over again.
My day was full of really good things – ministry, family, motherhood, activities, church, purpose-filled work – and I loved it all. Truly. There was nothing I wanted to give up. But I was tired. Exhausted actually. And I was grouchy. I was stressed. I was irritable. And honestly, friends, I was running on empty. I was so busy doing work for the LORD, that I had long since had time for being with Him.
Maybe you can relate. In fact, I’m guessing you can.
Life is so busy. So, so busy.
There are activities to be part of, ministry, work, family, friends, and volunteer opportunities. Then there are the daily tasks like making and cleaning up meals, laundry, keeping a house, taking a shower, getting exercise – things that are mundane but necessary – and where do you fit them in? If you have kids in your life, you likely have dance practices, little league games, Friday night football, or volleyball games. You might have library story time, award dinners, and choir concerts. If you attend church there are likely weekend services, mid-week Bible studies, Wednesday night services, special conferences, committees, teams, and needs to fill. If you have friends and family, there are likely umpteen social events you should/want to attend every month. If you have a career, it’s likely that you have your normal work hours, plus covering for others, work emails 24/7 and pressing deadlines. I could go on and on, but I won’t, because we all get it, right? Life is busy.
We have become a culture so set on productivity and busyness, that I think sometimes, we’ve forgotten that it is OK to take time to breathe, to rest. And not only OK, but also oh, so valuable.
Why are we running from morning until night, packing so much into our days that we literally feel like we’re running ourselves into the ground? What are we trying to prove? Does God measure our worth by our productivity? Does He value us by how busy we are?
In Luke 10:38-42 we see the story of Mary and Martha. We’ve all heard it, right? You likely know it well. I’m paraphrasing here, but there are two sisters. One was busy serving and one sat at Jesus’ feet and listened to Him. The first asked Jesus to tell her sister to help her with all the work. Instead, Jesus says Mary – the one sitting at His feet and listening – had chosen the only thing that was needed and it would not be taken from her.
We take ourselves and our work (whatever that work might be) so seriously. We measure ourselves by our productivity, by the contribution we’re making. We measure others by theirs, too. But while we are called to do good works and they should absolutely be the evidence/outflowing of our love for Jesus, they will never be the one thing that He wants most.
So what is? Looking at Luke 10, simply put, it’s us. Our attention. Our willingness to listen. Our proximity to Him.
Serving is good and necessary, but service never equals relationship.
I can do a whole lot of things for my family (and I do), but that’s not what makes me deeply connected and in close relationship with them. A maid, a chef, and a taxi driver could do my work (and honestly, they could probably do it better!). Work doesn’t equal connection.
In a similar way, simply serving God does not equal an authentic, life-giving, personal relationship with Him. Service is an appropriate outflowing of love, but it is not the love itself.
After being convicted that I was seeking to prove my worth, rather than seek His face, I started the painful process of trimming back my life and my schedule to make some space. I cut out activities, closed one of our businesses, and uncommitted from a few ministry opportunities. It was hard. It was painful. But it made space. Space to breathe. Space to think. Space to feel. Space to sit at His feet. Space to pray. Space in the chaos of my thoughts, to hear His words. Space to ask what He was calling me to, and finding the space to do that.
There are so many things vying for our devotion. There are so many things crowding up our days and our thoughts, but only one thing is needed, and if we go after that, it will never be taken from us.
“But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42 (NLT)
“When You said, "Seek My face," my heart said to You, "Your face, O LORD, I shall seek." Psalms 27:8 (NASB)Ann Goering
He Took The Fall
The sun was high, the air hot and humid.
It was our last trip out on the boat for the summer. The deck of the pontoon boat was filled with family, and he didn’t feel like going swimming. But with his daughters begging him to swim them over to the rope swing tied to a cliff, he strapped on his life jacket, double checked theirs, and jumped into the lake.
They made the swim to the rope swing, and he helped them climb up onto the narrow rock ledge where they waited in line for their turn.
A dozen or more boats sat in the little cove as people swam, jumped off cliffs, and rode the rope swing. Finally, it was my little troop’s turn on the swing. Chris lifted our four year old up, waited for her to get her grip, and gave her a push. My heart jumped a little as she reached the end of her swing. Thankfully, she let go and dropped into the warm water. Next, came her big sister. She, too, let go at the right time and they began the swim back to the rocks to ride the rope swing again.
This time, things didn’t go as planned. As Chris lifted our seven year old up to grab the swing, she shifted abruptly to grab the rope, causing him to sidestep. As he did, he slipped on the wet, slick rocks, and his feet went out from under him. In that split second, he could have dropped Ali and been able to brace his fall. Instead, he held her tighter and took the full brunt of the fall – for both of them – on his right elbow. Jagged rocks scraped his back, and the back of his head was less than an inch from hitting as he landed on the rocks and then fell into the lake, still holding our daughter in his arms. Everyone on our boat who saw their fall, jumped up. Ali came quickly to the surface of the water and looked frantically for her daddy. He took longer to surface. When he did, he helped her swim out of the way, but he wasn’t moving his right arm.
My mom, who is an EMT and a nurse, had already strapped on her life jacket and jumped into the water. She quickly made the swim over to them and started checking them both out. As they made the slow swim back to the boat, Chris still didn’t move his arm. Ali boarded the boat in tears, claiming she wasn’t hurt, but that she was really worried about her Daddy.
When we finally got Chris into the boat, it quickly became clear that his elbow had broken. His work in construction, his daily habit of lifting weights, even writing his name, had been disrupted in that one moment when he had decided to hold onto his daughter and take the fall for them both.
He could have dropped her. No one would have blamed him. It would have been an instinctive reaction. But he didn’t. He held on. He kept her safe. He took the fall.
The next morning, sitting beside him in church, I realized yet again, how my husband reveals more of the heart of Jesus to me.
In a similar way, but to a heavenly extent, during “the fall,” Jesus could have let go. He could have left us to our own demise. He could have let us fall when the choices we make, don’t work out. He could have let go to save Himself from pain and discomfort. Instead, He hung on. Instead of leaving us to fend for ourselves, He went to the cross. Instead of abandoning us for our sin (and who could blame Him?), He held us tighter, and took the punishment for me – for you.
Sometimes, I think there’s a tendency to believe that when we mess up the worst, when we fall yet again, we’re distanced from God. Instead, I believe that’s when He holds us the closest. He already took the brunt of our sin so that there would be no distance between us. It was on the cross that what separated us from God, was atoned for – so that we, who were far off, could be brought near. So, why, when we fall, do we imagine it separates us from His love?
Like Chris pulled Ali in, even knowing what it meant for him, I can imagine that when we slip, Jesus pulls us in, holding us close, cushioning us from the full judgment, consequence and pain that should be ours. As Chris demonstrated that he loved his daughter more than he loved himself, on the cross, Jesus (to a heavenly extent), demonstrated that He loved you more than His own life.
If Jesus took our fall to bring us near, if He sacrificed Himself to keep us safe, why do we still wrestle with whether or not He loves us? Why do we insist that He must feel disappointed in, angry with, and disgusted by us? Why do we still buy into the lie that He’s thinking angry thoughts toward us?
I pray today, you – we – would trust Him enough to believe what He says He thinks about us. I pray that we would believe Him, when He showed us how much He loves us. I pray that we would see ourselves as we are – held tight, and that we would feel the arms of our Savior around us, whether today has been our worst day or our best day. Because Jesus already intimately knew about both and He still held on tighter and took the fall.
“The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
“He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.” Eph. 2:17-18
“ For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16
It was our last trip out on the boat for the summer. The deck of the pontoon boat was filled with family, and he didn’t feel like going swimming. But with his daughters begging him to swim them over to the rope swing tied to a cliff, he strapped on his life jacket, double checked theirs, and jumped into the lake.
They made the swim to the rope swing, and he helped them climb up onto the narrow rock ledge where they waited in line for their turn.
A dozen or more boats sat in the little cove as people swam, jumped off cliffs, and rode the rope swing. Finally, it was my little troop’s turn on the swing. Chris lifted our four year old up, waited for her to get her grip, and gave her a push. My heart jumped a little as she reached the end of her swing. Thankfully, she let go and dropped into the warm water. Next, came her big sister. She, too, let go at the right time and they began the swim back to the rocks to ride the rope swing again.
This time, things didn’t go as planned. As Chris lifted our seven year old up to grab the swing, she shifted abruptly to grab the rope, causing him to sidestep. As he did, he slipped on the wet, slick rocks, and his feet went out from under him. In that split second, he could have dropped Ali and been able to brace his fall. Instead, he held her tighter and took the full brunt of the fall – for both of them – on his right elbow. Jagged rocks scraped his back, and the back of his head was less than an inch from hitting as he landed on the rocks and then fell into the lake, still holding our daughter in his arms. Everyone on our boat who saw their fall, jumped up. Ali came quickly to the surface of the water and looked frantically for her daddy. He took longer to surface. When he did, he helped her swim out of the way, but he wasn’t moving his right arm.
My mom, who is an EMT and a nurse, had already strapped on her life jacket and jumped into the water. She quickly made the swim over to them and started checking them both out. As they made the slow swim back to the boat, Chris still didn’t move his arm. Ali boarded the boat in tears, claiming she wasn’t hurt, but that she was really worried about her Daddy.
When we finally got Chris into the boat, it quickly became clear that his elbow had broken. His work in construction, his daily habit of lifting weights, even writing his name, had been disrupted in that one moment when he had decided to hold onto his daughter and take the fall for them both.
He could have dropped her. No one would have blamed him. It would have been an instinctive reaction. But he didn’t. He held on. He kept her safe. He took the fall.
The next morning, sitting beside him in church, I realized yet again, how my husband reveals more of the heart of Jesus to me.
In a similar way, but to a heavenly extent, during “the fall,” Jesus could have let go. He could have left us to our own demise. He could have let us fall when the choices we make, don’t work out. He could have let go to save Himself from pain and discomfort. Instead, He hung on. Instead of leaving us to fend for ourselves, He went to the cross. Instead of abandoning us for our sin (and who could blame Him?), He held us tighter, and took the punishment for me – for you.
Sometimes, I think there’s a tendency to believe that when we mess up the worst, when we fall yet again, we’re distanced from God. Instead, I believe that’s when He holds us the closest. He already took the brunt of our sin so that there would be no distance between us. It was on the cross that what separated us from God, was atoned for – so that we, who were far off, could be brought near. So, why, when we fall, do we imagine it separates us from His love?
Like Chris pulled Ali in, even knowing what it meant for him, I can imagine that when we slip, Jesus pulls us in, holding us close, cushioning us from the full judgment, consequence and pain that should be ours. As Chris demonstrated that he loved his daughter more than he loved himself, on the cross, Jesus (to a heavenly extent), demonstrated that He loved you more than His own life.
If Jesus took our fall to bring us near, if He sacrificed Himself to keep us safe, why do we still wrestle with whether or not He loves us? Why do we insist that He must feel disappointed in, angry with, and disgusted by us? Why do we still buy into the lie that He’s thinking angry thoughts toward us?
I pray today, you – we – would trust Him enough to believe what He says He thinks about us. I pray that we would believe Him, when He showed us how much He loves us. I pray that we would see ourselves as we are – held tight, and that we would feel the arms of our Savior around us, whether today has been our worst day or our best day. Because Jesus already intimately knew about both and He still held on tighter and took the fall.
“The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
“He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.” Eph. 2:17-18
“ For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16
