Jay Finn's Blog

I know, I know. It’s been a while since I’ve been on here and updated this place with the cacophony of thoughts residing within my head. Well, I’ve been busy; constructing my newest novel which is going to be a humdinger if my inner critic is to be believed.

Also, I’ve been busy writing some short stories which I was honoured to be asked to do for the upcoming anthology, Triptychs, which you can pre-order here for .99 cents. It will be $3.99 on its release on March 16th. So PRE-ORDER NOW!

The concept behind the short story collection is simple. I received two photographs which I was to use for inspiration to create my short stories. There are eight photographs in all with three authors writing stories or poems on each photograph.

It’s a real neat idea and the quality of the stories is top notch. I’m delighted to have been asked to take part and I’m equally delighted now for the people who have my enjoyed my writing to get to read some new material.

So, pre-order now if you can and I’ll be giving more info and updates the sooner we get to the release date of March 16th.

Hope all you guys out there are well.

Earlier today, I read a facebook post from a friend of mine, where she listed the top ten albums that were life changing or influential in some way. NOT her favourite albums, but the most influential. Which got me thinking: What has influenced me in my life and why? Well, I just had to blog about it didn’t I? So here is, in no particular order, some books, movies, people and life events that helped shape and mould the person I am today.

Stand By Me

I first saw this movie in a friends house when I was about ten years old I think. This was a time in my life when I was obsessed by books and movies (not a lot has changed since) but at that age, if the book or movie didn’t have magic, wizards, elves or some sort of fantasy element to it, then I wasn’t interested. I had never heard of this movie and I had no idea it was based on a novella by Stephen King either (I actually don’t think I knew who Stephen King was at that age either) but as the movie began I felt an instant connection with the characters. Four young boys, hanging out in their tree house, playing cards and having fun. I was immediately drawn in. Of course, the boys set off on an adventure (to find the dead body of another young boy) and this in and of itself was enough to capture my attention completely. Didn’t we all want adventures when we were young. The scene where the train almost hits them on the bridge; when Gordy has the leech on his balls; where they jump the fence after the dog chasing them. All things I could relate to as being ‘fun’ even at that age. It wasn’t until later, as an adult, when I watched the movie again did I notice the real tones lying beneath the boys escapades: Memories, life and death, a longing to be young again and friendship. This was the first movie I saw that showed me a story didn’t have to be fantastical to be a good story. Still one of my favourites to this day.

Nevermind

The second studio album by Nirvana, but the one that shot them to instant stardom and made Kurt Cobain ‘the voice of a generation.’

The first time I heard Smells Like Teen Spirit was on a kids TV show called The Den. It was 1991 and I was twelve years old. The opening clang of chords, followed shortly by the pounding drums and heavily distorted guitar. If that was enough to make me look up, the broken voice of the dirty-haired blonde singer sure did. Yes, my attention was caught but I didn’t know what to make of it. I knew I loved it, but at twelve years old I also loved Michael Jackson. Somehow I felt that it was ‘wrong’ to like something so completely different. But over the next few years, up to Kurt’s early death two and a half years later I found myself outgrowing Michael and becoming increasingly obsessed with Nirvana. Puberty had hit and passed and with my body and mind confused by the changes within myself, I found the anger and melancholy within Nirvana’s music and Kurt’s lyrics something to hold on to with a fiery passion I had never experienced before. After his death it became even more so. I listened to them incessantly, found myself in trouble in school for constantly singing their songs in class and dressed as much like Kurt as I could. Which was easy. Converse, torn jeans and dirty jumpers (sweaters). Kurt was the first person in the world of creativity where I felt I understood him, that we were kindred spirits. I can firmly say, that album and his death were seminal moments in my young life and undoubtedly led me on a path to follow my creative desires and place them above security and ‘settling’ for a ‘normal’ life.

Death

As much as it’s easy to say I shied away from what can be considered a normal path for a young man to travel (school, college, job, career, wife, kids) it was the death of my maternal grandfather that put the final nail in the coffin (pun intended). We were very close, he and I. Well, closer than I was to any other of my grandparents. I had two other grandparents who died when I was younger so I wasn’t as affected by their deaths as I was by his. I was in my mid twenties and a little bit lost. I was fighting a battle within myself to follow my creative urges or conform to what was expected of me. In doing so, I ended up attempting to do both at the same time, resulting in anger, confusion, resentment and not living either of my lives very well. But when he died, that all changed.

He was the first person I ever truly cared about to have passed away and I had an epiphany of sorts shortly after his passing. His life had ended. There were no do-overs, no second chances. He lived a good life, had children and grandchildren and always seemed eternally happy. Yet, I pondered on how would it be if he had lived a sad life, full of regret, doing things that brought him no pleasure or satisfaction? He would still be dead.

This was my epiphany. My grand discovery. Something that we all know deep down but rarely allow to surface in out minds, at least not with any real fervour. I will one day die. As will you. As will every other thing that lives. I decided then and there that I did not want to live a life that wasn’t true to myself. Would I forgo a steady job with a nice income to follow my dreams? Yes I would. Would I challenge myself to follow my heart and not the wishes of others? Yes I would. Would I live a life that I could be proud of? Yes I would. For one day, I will die. And I want my life to be filled with happiness, creativity and accomplishments, not regret and bitterness at never having tried.

When my head drops, as it sometimes does, and I doubt myself, I just remind myself that one day I will die. But I am alive today and no one gets to choose how I live my life except for me. To quote Stephen King and The Shawshank Redemption: ‘Get busy living, or get busy dying.’

So that’s a quick snippet inside my head. I’d love to hear your feedback and if you blog, then perhaps you should write a similar piece about your influences and how they helped shape who you are.

In the wake of the Robin Williams’ death, there has been a huge outpouring of grief across the globe. Social media in particular have not been shy in sharing favourite quotes, movies and memories as their way of showing how much he meant to us. As horrific and sad as someone’s untimely passing is, it always fills me with genuine joy to see how much one person can touch the hearts and minds of others.

For me, he will always be Mork. I grew up loving that show and although movies like Dead Poet’s Society and What Dreams May Come are also huge favourites of mine it will always be Mork and Mindy that enters my head when I hear his name mentioned.

But this piece is not about my own personal feelings towards the man, rather, the illness of depression and the absolute ignorance that still surrounds mental health issues.

On Fox news yesterday, a guy called Shep Smith, made the comment live on air that Robin Williams was a coward. Watch it here and a British radio personality called Alan Brazil, called his suicide deplorable and that he felt no sympathy towards him whatsoever. Listen to it here

Firstly, both these men are highly insensitive, but more importantly, they are making statements from a place of pure ignorance.

Depression is an illness. Just the same as cancer and heart problems are. You do not choose to be depressed the same way you do not choose to get cancer. To call someone who takes their own life a coward is one of the more cutting remarks that can be made and I'm not going to lie and say that I felt no anger when I hear Shep's comments this morning.

Is someone who loses a battle with cancer a coward? Is someone who dies from a long term fight with heart problems a coward? Of course not. Nor are people who commit suicide. It is well documented that Robin Williams fought for years in his battle with depression and with addiction. Yes! He FOUGHT it! Only the night previous to his death he attended an AA meeting. Robin Williams did not want to suffer from depression, he actively worked hard at trying to beat it, attending rehab numerous times in the past few years as well as attending addiction therapy. These are all documented facts. Robin Williams did all he could to beat his illness the same way a cancer patient will undergo chemo and other procedures to help beat their cancer. He did, succumbing to his illness the same way that people who bravely battle other diseases like cancer often succumb to theirs.

When Alan Brazil commented that he 'felt no sympathy' towards Robin, it was the words of an ignorant human being. The words of someone who sees taking your own life as a choice made with full mental faculties. Would he also feel no sympathy towards someone who battled cancer for years unsuccessfully? I doubt it. Although he strikes me as the kind of man who would feel no sympathy if the person who died was a heavy smoker and their illness was lung cancer. At least then, (and I am using this example purely for arguments sake, it does not reflect my own feelings) he might have a leg to stand on because we know the dangers of smoking and the possible repercussions.

It makes my blood boil when I hear in conversation about a suicide that the victim was 'selfish' or 'did they not think of their family?' The ignorance with regards mental health and depression in such phrases is mind-boggling. Do they really think that someone who could think clearly enough would ever commit suicide? Of course they wouldn't! Depression is a black cloud that envelops the personality of a person in such a way that all they feel is pain. Emotional pain that is so difficult to bear, even after they attempt to get help (and many people spend years, decades even, fighting this illness only to succumb to it in the end) that suicide seems the only way out.

I can only ever imagine the state of mind someone must be in when experiencing such torture. In fact, even while trying to imagine it, I can't truly get my head to go there.

Yet to this day, some people see depression as being sad, or a case of the blues, or something you'll get over in a few days. 'Why are you depressed?' they might ask. 'You have a good job, a nice family and the world at your feet, what is there to feel depressed about?' Please, if anyone ever comes out and trust you enough to tell you they are depressed. DO NOT ASK THEM WHY!

It is comments like this that again show the ignorance of people. If someone told you they had cancer would you ask the same questions. 'Cancer? Sure why have you got cancer?' Insensitive is not the word.

Depression is an ILLNESS!! I can't repeat that enough. Yet until the world at large sees it as such, we will have people like Alan Brazil and Shep Smith making comments like they have done.

So, today. Yeah, today. I was in a foul mood almost all of the hours since my mind awoke from what can only be described as a disturbing dream. And so it followed that I was in foul humour all day long. Yes, America, humour with a U. Deal with it!

Anywhoooo. I spent all day doubting my writing; doubting my choice at turning aside from the mundane but financially secure world of ‘work.’ I picked up my copy of Fastian and even scoffed at it. Yes, I scoffed. I opened my notebook and started flicking through some scribbles and ideas I have gathered together over the years and scowled at the absolute idiocy of some of them. My day gradually began to get worse.

Then I came across a note I had made at the bottom of one of the pages. A nondescript thing that was neither marked or highlighted (I mark and highlight my ideas based on how good or important they may or may not be) but it caught my eye. It simply said: Writing saves souls, Reading heals them.

Now, it’s a bit twee and probably a bit cliched in some way or another and I can see why I never bothered marking it, but it gave me a tiny kick up the backside nonetheless. I was in a bad mood that would surely pass but maybe I should just read something. Anything to remind me that I’m not a crap writer. So I sifted through a few of my short stories and found one that I completely forgot to finish. It had left my memory so thoroughly that as I read it, I couldn’t remember what happened next in the tale. It was just like reading someone else’s story for the first time.

And you know what? It was GOOD! God damn it, it was fine. And just to add a cherry on top of the potential diabetes in a little paper holder, the ending came to me in a brutal flash of light that almost knocked me over. Well, I was sitting down, but let’s not get all pedantic about detail. So I sat there for a little over an hour and I finished that son of a bitch. I finished the crap out of it.

Guess what? For a while after finishing it I forgot I was ever in a bad mood at all.

Now, I’m not one for tales with hidden morals (I mean, come on, give me a story with good characters, an interesting plot twist and style that keeps me turning the pages and stuff your morals) but perhaps there is one in here.

Actually, if there is one, you tell me what it is. I just finished a kick-ass new short story and once again my ego tells me I’m worthy.

It’s been roughly seven months since Fastian hit the the ebookshelves and I’m constantly being asked ‘how’s the book doing?’ or, ‘how are the sales?’

Well, lets put it like this. I haven’t earned enough to buy a new car. I haven’t earned enough to buy a second hand car. I doubt I’ve earned enough to buy a relative of a second hand car. But a rusty engine block of a 99 Ford Fiesta? Yeah, sure, I can afford one of those now.

But that’s not really important. Since I’ve released Fastian on Amazon, Kobo, Barnes and Noble, the iBook store and other places, I have been receiving emails, tweets and facebook messages from people all over the world.

Brazil, Switzerland, Canary Islands, Portugal, North America and the neighbours, England Scotland and Wales. Not to forget the homeland, Ireland. Now, I am sure there are other places I’ve left out but where exactly you are from is a moot point.

The point is this: Self-publishing and the internet have allowed me to do the thing I have always dreamed of doing. To be an independent author who has his work read by people from every corner of the earth. Weekly I receive correspondence of some sort from someone (old, young, male, female and everything in between) and to read some of the wonderfully encouraging and complimentary words about my work is enough to make even the hardest of the hard bite back on the pride that surfaces in the form of a lump in my throat. No, I have not sold the movie rights or received a royalty cheque that has changed my life, but if that was the sole reason for doing what I do then I should never have started in the first place.

If you are not a writer, a musician, an artist or some sort of creative person it is hard to explain to those who are not,the genuine pride you feel when an absolute stranger tells you how much they enjoy your work. It doesn’t lessen the sense of pride if I hear it from someone I know but there is always that stupid voice in the back of my head that tells me you are saying that because you feel you have to. Honestly, I know that’s not true, but the self-doubt is gone when you hear a stranger say it.

So, to all of you who enjoyed Fastian and my short story collections, thank you for taking the time to tell me so.

I’m still working on Sparrow and it’s nearing completion (well, closer to the end than when I last posted here) and then it’s on to Book 2 of The Weaver Saga.

Thank you.

Emphatically.

About a month ago I sent a tweet out into the universe, looking for people to review ‘Fastian’ for me. Luckily, I received a few replies and kind offers, and one of those was from Rachel Vaughan (twitter @bibliophony). She was on the verge of setting up a brand new website and I had the pleasure of being the first author to be interviewed and have ‘Fastian’ reviewed.

This is what Rachel had to say about Bibliophony.com

Bibliophony is a website designed to promote the success of quality writing, open the lines of communication between authors and their readers, and find creative ways to enhance the marketability of the science fiction/fantasy genre. Bibliophony is essentially a free online PR resource for authors and an entertaining information spot for readers. There are many promotional opportunities available for authors, as well as activities and events for readers to get involved in. Some of the features that you can expect to see on Bibliophony are book reviews, author readings and signings, author interviews, charity opportunities, giveaways, an annual book drive, unique contests, discussion forums, writing challenges, a humor section, activities for kids, and generally a lot of fun.

I want to wish her all the best and thank her for allowing me to help promote ‘Fastian,’ also.

So, why don’t you guys drop on by and check out the gorgeous new website.

You can read the review of ‘Fastian’ here

And the interview I did for Bibliophony here

I’m from a small town; a village in fact. Having been raised here, gone to school here, and after many years away, returning here, it remains an undeniable fact that if someone from here achieves anything of any note, it is usually celebrated and everyone knows about it.

This is neither a bad thing nor a good thing. It just is what it is. I am happy to embrace it.

And so, while everyone where I’m from knows I have written and published my first novel, I am constantly asked how the writing is going, how are the sales, when is the next book? Or (and this is something I relish) stopping me to tell me how much they enjoyed Fastian. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of being told that someone enjoyed a piece of work I put so much effort into. I love it.

But when I got approached by one of the teenagers from my old school asking me could I do an interview for the school magazine, that was an extra piece of self-gratification that I wasn’t expecting. However, when I was twenty I worked for this teenager’s dad in the local pub and she was three years old running around the place. I was sadly reminded that I am now getting ‘old.’

Still, at least I’m alive, huh?

Below is that interview.

The Write Stuff

By Taira Lewis

Jason Finnerty is a past pupil of Clonaslee Vocational school; he is now an author writing under the pseudonym, Jay Finn. He sells his books online and has now started a fantasy series. He launched the first book of the series “Fastian: An Edgewier Tale” just before Christmas in the Heritage Centre in Clonaslee.

How did you start writing stories?

I first started (or attempted to start) when I was maybe 12 or 13 because I had read the Narnia books and just fell in love with them. It just clicked in my head that maybe I would like to write something like that but when I started writing properly it was about six or seven years ago. I started writing short stories and one of them got short-listed for an award and when it did I was thinking “Well maybe this is something I could do” so I just kept going from there!

What inspired your book Fastian?

I actually got the idea from the movie The Dark Knight, seeing the character of the joker I just had this idea of a character who was not exactly likeable but could still be kind of the good guy, someone who’s not a nice person but is like kind of the anti-hero. So it just started from there but over the years it developed into the book that it is now. There’s no set way about it, it just organically came together.

Did you know at first that it would be a trilogy?

Yeah, I knew it was going to be long, it might even be more than 3. I had this idea in my head that once I created this world, I could write the story and make it as long as I wanted and that was actually exciting because I wasn’t set to “it has to be in one book” because that’s just too narrow, especially with fantasy. Fantasy tends to be epic, for example George Martin, they’re all in lots of books, so I always knew it was going to be long. It could be four or five books now.

Do you think that literature has been diminished by television and internet?

I’m not sure, maybe in a way. The idea of holding a book in your hand for a lot of people isn’t the same because now you’ve got kindles and things like that, so maybe not literature itself but how we purchase literature and how perceive it is maybe a bit different. And it’s at a stage now where almost every second movie is based on a book so a lot of people tend to watch the movie before they read the book and that annoys me… A lot! People are like “Oh yeah I’ve watched this movie, now I’ll read the book”. No, read the book first! When you watch a movie you have the characters in your head already, so when you’re reading the book it’s not your own imagination that’s creating them in your head – it’s what you’ve seen in the film, and that just annoys me.

Would you like your books to be made into films?

Yeah, that’d be really cool but I think it would work better as an animation. Most fantasy movies are woeful! (Well, apart from Lord of the Rings.) I’d like to see it done in an animation because you can do so much with animation now and you don’t have to worry about making a movie with special effects and stuff. So yeah, I would like to see that someday

What advice would you give to student hoping to become a writer?

Read a lot and write a lot, it’s that simple! You can’t become a writer unless you read, the same way you can’t be a carpenter if you haven’t got a saw. Read everything, don’t just read one genre, read as much as you can and read constantly. I could read fifty, sixty or seventy books in a year. It’s like practise, when you see other people’s styles and see how other people write stories, you will understand plot and characters, themes. You can not become a writer unless you read and once you read you have to write a lot. You don’t have to sit down and say “Ok, I’m going to write a book” and just concentrate on that. Write short stories. Take a month and tell yourself everyday you’re going to write a 2000 word short story. 29 of them could be terrible but you can have one gem. Don’t think about it too much, especially when you are writing short stories. Just give yourself a premise “A man walks into the store and trips over the step” and just work from there! Just something small like that or you could make it as outlandish as you want either. Just read a lot and write a lot!

Were you a good student in school?

I wasn’t bad as in badly behaved but I was lazy. I did all pass subjects for my leaving cert. I was doing honours English right up until two months before the exams. I didn’t want to go to college, I had no interest in education because I didn’t really like school. It’s not that I wasn’t smart, I just had no interest. I liked stuff like history though. So, I wasn’t bad, I was just lazy because I just had no real interest in being there and didn’t want to go to college (even though I did go to college later on). I started travelling once I finished school. So yeah, not a bad student, just lazy!

When do you think the series will be finished?

Well I hope to have the second book out by next Christmas. (Fingers crossed!) I’m working on another book at the minute, it’s just kind of a contemporary fiction which I’m going to try get published the “old-school” way, get it done through a normal publisher. The thing with fantasy is, it’s hard to get it published as it’s such a huge market so that’s why I did the whole self-publishing thing, plus I wanted to see a book with my name on it! So, over-all finished I don’t know. Hopefully in the next 4 or 5 years I’d like to have the entire tale told but we’ll see what happens!

Where are your books available?

Online mainly, any major online store; Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Sony, I-store. Just search Fastian or Jay Finn and you should them (and it’s not expensive!)

You are not your house, your car or your job.

You’re probably not even a servant of God.

You are not your wealth or your diamond rings,

No my friend, you’re none of these things.

You are not a piece of meat for sale,

Nor are you destined to fail.

You are not a tool for others to use,

to be moulded, shaped and to be abused.

Tax-payer, worker, ant and consumer.

All of these things you are called by your user.

You are none of these if you choose not to be,

so learn how to choose, you learn to be free.

You are thought, you are action, you’re creation unknown.

You are free to live loudly or even alone.

You are emotion and choices are yours to be weaved,

The world is your oyster if you cast off the lead.

The thoughts in your head are the start of creation.

Please use them wisely, they are power not sedation.

They determine your outcome, your rise or your fall.

Treat them like children, learn to love them all.

And once you start thinking for yourself, not for others.

The world will respond, it will be like you’re lovers.

When you’re down, it’s down with you, it mirrors your gloom.

So think carefully my friend and all you ask for will bloom.

I’m not one to keep up to date on the lives of celebrities, it genuinely doesn’t interest me. However, now and again, something will happen within the world of celebrity that explodes on social media or makes its way into mainstream news.

The most recent one is that of Solange (a sister of Beyonce) and Jay Z (Beyonce’s husband). I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about. Solange physically attacked Jay Z in an elevator and it was all caught on security camera.

I have no real interest in the lives of these people, but what does interest me, is the tone of the response to this story. If you go on twitter or other social media, the main recurring comment in regards to this story is ‘what did Jay Z do to piss her off?’ Yes, there are comments condemning the actions of Solange, but more often than not, it’s insinuated that this is somehow Jay Z’s fault.

Let’s turn it around. I suppose everyone remembers when Chris Brown physically attacked Rhianna. The response to this, of course, was quite different. And rightly so. Did anyone ask, what did Rhianna do to piss Chris off? I doubt it. Were there ‘funny’ memes making their way across the internet making light of seriousness of that situation? I think not. Unlike the current situation where there are a multitude of them.

Now, I am just using these two cases as examples. I think they are good ones to use because within the media, social and normal, they were popular stories and the tone it sets is what troubles me. It is not ok for a man to assault a woman, but it is somehow the mans fault if he is assaulted by a woman and it is open to gentle mocking.

I’m not claiming that this is the only double standard in the world, nor am I claiming that it is only men who suffer from it. It’s just this story has caught my attention. It seems that physical violence against men is something to be laughed about and mocked and not taken seriously.

One other example is the story of a man who, after telling his wife he wanted a divorce, she cut of his penis while he was asleep. Sharon Osbourne was on a talk show called The Talk (watch the clip here) and went on to laugh and joke about how funny it was and how fabulous it was. Not only that, but the entire female audience of the show, laughed right along with it. One of the panelists brought up the point that if this was a story about a man who cut off a woman’s breast, it wouldn’t be funny at all.

And she is right. It wouldn’t be funny. Too often, stories of physical attacks on males, by females, are treated as lighthearted and the insinuation is that somehow it was his fault. That he must have done something to deserve it. Would a woman who was beaten or had her genitals mutilated by a man be open to the same questions? Of course not. Because regardless of gender, race, creed or sexual orientation, any attack on a human being by another, is a crime and something we should all treat seriously.

I have often heard the phrase ‘A real man never hits a woman.’ I agree with that (unless in self defense). But would the phrase ‘A real person would never hit ANYONE’ (unless in self defense) be a better phrase? I think so.

As an independent author, huge marketing budgets and campaigns are a thing we can only look on in envy at. These belong to the ‘published’ authors who have managed to snag a five book deal with a six figure signing on fee. (No bitterness … well maybe just a little).

We rely on three things in my opinion. People willing to take a chance with their hard earned money, word of mouth, and most importantly, a damned well written novel.

I want to take a moment to offer a few words of thanks because, well, yeah, this just happened.

Yup, yours truly managed to find his way onto the top 5 sellers of a popular genre on a semi-popular, book-selling website.

I want to thank the people who took a chance on Fastian; who took time out to leave reviews; who sent me emails to tell me how much they enjoyed the book and how much they are looking forward to the second installment (this, more than most, has given me real pleasure and renewed my confidence that I’m following the right path); and finally, those of you have helped me promote and get word of Fastian ‘out there,’ I am forever in your debt.

To see my story find its way onto a bestseller list (regardless of just being within a genre and on a semi-popular website) is something no one can ever take away from me. If I was sentimental, I would say it brought a tear to my eye. If I was pragmatic, I would say it’s a good first step. Lucky for everyone, I’m both.

And one final thank you. To all the people who have yet to take the plunge and immerse themselves within world of Edgeweir, thank you for taking a risk (you know you want to) and allowing me to bring Fastian to more and more people everyday.