Neil Strauss's Blog - Posts Tagged "truth"
THE TRUTH, the Long-Awaited Sequel to The Game Releases on October 13, 2015
View the trailer in the Videos section on this page, or here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wg0sJ...
A confession: I’ve been holding out on you.
For the last few years, I've been deeply immersed in several underground communities and I didn’t share where I was, or everything I learned, with you.
Why?
For one thing, I couldn’t give it away yet to anyone, since it’s all part of the new book.
Two, it was all so wild and intense that . . . I didn't know where to begin.
So what have I been up to?
- Snuck into a free-love cult and got kicked out for the most ridiculous reason you’ve ever heard of.
- Went to an orgy run by a Hollywood celebrity, got slipped drugs, and passed out in the middle of a sex pile.
- Moved in with three girlfriends to form a quad relationship, and learned among other things that “who gets to sit in the front seat of the car” can actually be a serious issue in polyamorous relationships.
- Checked into sex addiction rehab and then escaped against medical advice.
- Opened up a relationship, and soon had an experience I don’t wish on anyone: sitting at home while the woman I loved went to a topless resort in Mexico with two other men.
- Started a commune based on principals of peace, freedom, and non-violent communication—and six days into it, someone in the house tried to kill me.
(So much for non-violent communication.)
- And met with some of the greatest geneticists, psychologists, neurologists, historians, sex gurus, and relationship healers of our time.
Why did I put myself through all this?
Because I wanted to answer a question that’s not only been central in my mind and life since The Game, but that so many of you have been asking me:
What happens if you are in love with someone, but you desire someone else?
Is that wrong?
Does this mean that you don’t actually love your partner?
When is it okay to act on it, whether physically, emotionally, or in your imagination?
Or is this just a normal evolutionary human behavior that we shouldn't be trying to repress?
And, most importantly, in relationships, is there a way to keep the romance, sex, love, and excitement hot over time instead of cooling down, bickering,
and growing apart?
So I set off to build a better type of relationship than the ones in our culture now—which have a statistically high chance of leading to unhappiness,
separation, or infidelity.
Here’s a surprising thing that happened, however:
I thought I was writing a book solely about relationships, but along the way it turned into a book about deep psychology.
Wait, you may be wondering: What do relationships have to do with deep psychology?
The answer: Everything!
It controls who you choose, why you choose them, whether you're happy, whether the sex stays hot, whether you have conflict, whether you end up in a "parallel relationship" (alone together), whether you break up with them, whether they break up with you, how hurt you are about it, whether you avoid relationships altogether . . . and so much more.
In fact, take any single person, and you can actually predict who they're going to fall in love with before they even know.
The process described in the book turned out to be the most transformative experience I’ve ever had.
In a way, The Game was a small shift that set me up for the really massive shift of The Truth—and gave me the key to a bigger happiness I didn’t even know was possible.
A confession: I’ve been holding out on you.
For the last few years, I've been deeply immersed in several underground communities and I didn’t share where I was, or everything I learned, with you.
Why?
For one thing, I couldn’t give it away yet to anyone, since it’s all part of the new book.
Two, it was all so wild and intense that . . . I didn't know where to begin.
So what have I been up to?
- Snuck into a free-love cult and got kicked out for the most ridiculous reason you’ve ever heard of.
- Went to an orgy run by a Hollywood celebrity, got slipped drugs, and passed out in the middle of a sex pile.
- Moved in with three girlfriends to form a quad relationship, and learned among other things that “who gets to sit in the front seat of the car” can actually be a serious issue in polyamorous relationships.
- Checked into sex addiction rehab and then escaped against medical advice.
- Opened up a relationship, and soon had an experience I don’t wish on anyone: sitting at home while the woman I loved went to a topless resort in Mexico with two other men.
- Started a commune based on principals of peace, freedom, and non-violent communication—and six days into it, someone in the house tried to kill me.
(So much for non-violent communication.)
- And met with some of the greatest geneticists, psychologists, neurologists, historians, sex gurus, and relationship healers of our time.
Why did I put myself through all this?
Because I wanted to answer a question that’s not only been central in my mind and life since The Game, but that so many of you have been asking me:
What happens if you are in love with someone, but you desire someone else?
Is that wrong?
Does this mean that you don’t actually love your partner?
When is it okay to act on it, whether physically, emotionally, or in your imagination?
Or is this just a normal evolutionary human behavior that we shouldn't be trying to repress?
And, most importantly, in relationships, is there a way to keep the romance, sex, love, and excitement hot over time instead of cooling down, bickering,
and growing apart?
So I set off to build a better type of relationship than the ones in our culture now—which have a statistically high chance of leading to unhappiness,
separation, or infidelity.
Here’s a surprising thing that happened, however:
I thought I was writing a book solely about relationships, but along the way it turned into a book about deep psychology.
Wait, you may be wondering: What do relationships have to do with deep psychology?
The answer: Everything!
It controls who you choose, why you choose them, whether you're happy, whether the sex stays hot, whether you have conflict, whether you end up in a "parallel relationship" (alone together), whether you break up with them, whether they break up with you, how hurt you are about it, whether you avoid relationships altogether . . . and so much more.
In fact, take any single person, and you can actually predict who they're going to fall in love with before they even know.
The process described in the book turned out to be the most transformative experience I’ve ever had.
In a way, The Game was a small shift that set me up for the really massive shift of The Truth—and gave me the key to a bigger happiness I didn’t even know was possible.
Coming to a City (Not) Near You
On October 13, 2015, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships will be hitting your favorite bookstore. And now that I’ve re-emerged, let’s hang out.
Mark your calendar—or type in your calendar or talk to your calendar.
I’m going on tour.
It’s a weird tour, I’ll admit. Basically, as it stands now, it’s only two states in the U.S. and three cities overseas.
I know.
I may have to get a bus and go on a real tour after the official publisher tour is done.
But what it lacks in geographical diversity, the tour makes up for in scope. I’m doing a lot of cool stuff with some great people and organizations.
So here’s where I’ll be—speaking The Truth, signing The Truth, and telling The Truth. (And maybe giving away my old peacocking clothes.)
As my UK publisher Canongate puts it: No more games. It’s time for The Truth.
I hope you're ready for what's in the book. I've been secretly preparing those of you who read my subscriber emails for the last year with some of the foundational concepts.
Looking forward to seeing you on the road (albeit a road too short for my taste).
Will talk to my publisher about adding more dates.
If you're going to travel for any of these dates, come to New York for two very different events: The Bookmark signing is going to be a unique performance and Q & A session. And at the Strand, I'll be discussing The Truth with two fellow best-selling authors who were influential during the process.
The Truth U.S. Tour Dates:
BROOKLYN
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 13
THE BOOKMARK SHOPPE
7:00 PM
Cebu Bar & Bistro
8801 3rd Ave.
Brooklyn, NY 11209
Phone: 718-833-5115
Tickets available online at:
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/meet-nei...
MANHATTAN
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 15
HOSTED BY CHRISTOPHER RYAN, AUTHOR OF SEX AT DAWN, AND ESTHER PEREL, AUTHOR OF MATING IN CAPTIVITY
7:00 PM
Strand Books
828 Broadway
New York, NY 10003
Phone: 212-473-1452 x 330
Tickets available online at:
http://www.strandbooks.com/event/neil...
LOS ANGELES
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 16
BOOK SOUP
7:00 PM
8818 Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90069
Phone: 310-659-3110
Tickets: free, no ticket required
SAN FRANCISCO
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 17
LITQUAKE FESTIVAL
SPECIAL LITERARY LUNCHEON
12:00 PM
Delancey Street Restaurant
600 The Embarcadero
San Francisco, CA 94107
Phone: 415-440-4177
Tickets available online at:
http://www.litquake.org/events/casual...
SAN FRANCISCO/MARIN COUNTY
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 17
BOOK PASSAGE
4:00 PM
51 Tamal Vista Blvd.
Corte Madera, CA 94925
Phone: 415-927-0906 x 233
Tickets: free, no ticket required
MANHATTAN
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 21
SPECIAL GUEST PANEL ON “JEALOUSY”
ALLIANCE FRANCAISE (FRENCH INSITUTE)
“The Truth About Love, Mistrust, & Suspicious Minds”
7:00 PM
Florence Gould Hall
55 East 59th Street
New York, NY 10022
Phone: 1-800-982-2787
Tickets: available in theater or online at:
http://www.fiaf.org/events/fall2015/2...
LOS ANGELES
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 9
SPECIAL READER FILM SCREENING
7:30 PM
Cinefamily
611 N. Fairfax Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90036
Phone: 323-655-2510
Tickets: available online at:
http://www.cinefamily.org
The Truth U.K. Tour Dates:
DUBLIN
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 27
PRESENTED BY BANTER
6:30 PM
MVP
29 Upper Clanbrassil Street
Dublin 8, Ireland
Phone: 353 85 239 8003
Tickets £5 and available online at: https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/banter-in...
DUBLIN
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28
THE UNIVERSITY OF LIFE: GUEST LECTURE
7:00 PM
The Stephen's Green Hibernian Club
9 St Stephen's Green
Dublin 2, Ireland
Phone: 353 1 677 4744
Tickets free and available online at: https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/the-unive...
LONDON
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 29
WATERSTONES
6:30 PM
The Grand Building
Trafalgar Square
London WC2N 5EJ, United Kingdom
Phone: 020 7839 4411
Tickets £3-5 and available online at: https://www.waterstones.com/events/an...
GLASGOW
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 30
WATERSTONES
7:00 PM
153-157 Sauchiehall St
Glasgow G2 3EW, United Kingdom
Phone: +44 141 332 9105
Tickets £2 and available online at: https://www.waterstones.com/events/ne...
Note: All events are free, except for the Waterstone’s signings and the Dublin “Banter” (and maybe the Bookmark Shoppe and Cinefamily screening). I have no idea where the money goes. Definitely not to me.
(If you're broke, hit me up at those signings and I'll spot you.)
Mark your calendar—or type in your calendar or talk to your calendar.
I’m going on tour.
It’s a weird tour, I’ll admit. Basically, as it stands now, it’s only two states in the U.S. and three cities overseas.
I know.
I may have to get a bus and go on a real tour after the official publisher tour is done.
But what it lacks in geographical diversity, the tour makes up for in scope. I’m doing a lot of cool stuff with some great people and organizations.
So here’s where I’ll be—speaking The Truth, signing The Truth, and telling The Truth. (And maybe giving away my old peacocking clothes.)
As my UK publisher Canongate puts it: No more games. It’s time for The Truth.
I hope you're ready for what's in the book. I've been secretly preparing those of you who read my subscriber emails for the last year with some of the foundational concepts.
Looking forward to seeing you on the road (albeit a road too short for my taste).
Will talk to my publisher about adding more dates.
If you're going to travel for any of these dates, come to New York for two very different events: The Bookmark signing is going to be a unique performance and Q & A session. And at the Strand, I'll be discussing The Truth with two fellow best-selling authors who were influential during the process.
The Truth U.S. Tour Dates:
BROOKLYN
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 13
THE BOOKMARK SHOPPE
7:00 PM
Cebu Bar & Bistro
8801 3rd Ave.
Brooklyn, NY 11209
Phone: 718-833-5115
Tickets available online at:
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/meet-nei...
MANHATTAN
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 15
HOSTED BY CHRISTOPHER RYAN, AUTHOR OF SEX AT DAWN, AND ESTHER PEREL, AUTHOR OF MATING IN CAPTIVITY
7:00 PM
Strand Books
828 Broadway
New York, NY 10003
Phone: 212-473-1452 x 330
Tickets available online at:
http://www.strandbooks.com/event/neil...
LOS ANGELES
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 16
BOOK SOUP
7:00 PM
8818 Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90069
Phone: 310-659-3110
Tickets: free, no ticket required
SAN FRANCISCO
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 17
LITQUAKE FESTIVAL
SPECIAL LITERARY LUNCHEON
12:00 PM
Delancey Street Restaurant
600 The Embarcadero
San Francisco, CA 94107
Phone: 415-440-4177
Tickets available online at:
http://www.litquake.org/events/casual...
SAN FRANCISCO/MARIN COUNTY
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 17
BOOK PASSAGE
4:00 PM
51 Tamal Vista Blvd.
Corte Madera, CA 94925
Phone: 415-927-0906 x 233
Tickets: free, no ticket required
MANHATTAN
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 21
SPECIAL GUEST PANEL ON “JEALOUSY”
ALLIANCE FRANCAISE (FRENCH INSITUTE)
“The Truth About Love, Mistrust, & Suspicious Minds”
7:00 PM
Florence Gould Hall
55 East 59th Street
New York, NY 10022
Phone: 1-800-982-2787
Tickets: available in theater or online at:
http://www.fiaf.org/events/fall2015/2...
LOS ANGELES
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 9
SPECIAL READER FILM SCREENING
7:30 PM
Cinefamily
611 N. Fairfax Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90036
Phone: 323-655-2510
Tickets: available online at:
http://www.cinefamily.org
The Truth U.K. Tour Dates:
DUBLIN
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 27
PRESENTED BY BANTER
6:30 PM
MVP
29 Upper Clanbrassil Street
Dublin 8, Ireland
Phone: 353 85 239 8003
Tickets £5 and available online at: https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/banter-in...
DUBLIN
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28
THE UNIVERSITY OF LIFE: GUEST LECTURE
7:00 PM
The Stephen's Green Hibernian Club
9 St Stephen's Green
Dublin 2, Ireland
Phone: 353 1 677 4744
Tickets free and available online at: https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/the-unive...
LONDON
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 29
WATERSTONES
6:30 PM
The Grand Building
Trafalgar Square
London WC2N 5EJ, United Kingdom
Phone: 020 7839 4411
Tickets £3-5 and available online at: https://www.waterstones.com/events/an...
GLASGOW
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 30
WATERSTONES
7:00 PM
153-157 Sauchiehall St
Glasgow G2 3EW, United Kingdom
Phone: +44 141 332 9105
Tickets £2 and available online at: https://www.waterstones.com/events/ne...
Note: All events are free, except for the Waterstone’s signings and the Dublin “Banter” (and maybe the Bookmark Shoppe and Cinefamily screening). I have no idea where the money goes. Definitely not to me.
(If you're broke, hit me up at those signings and I'll spot you.)
