Tyler Erickson's Blog: Listening to Yourself
February 27, 2026
Giving Yourself Compassion
The antidote to shame is compassion.
Shame cannot survive in an environment marked by kindness. Its power weakens when it is met with gentleness instead of accusation. Compassion says, “Yes, you’ve messed up. But you are still a person of worth, dignity, and value.” It says, “You are imperfect. You fall short of your own expectations and the expectations of others. And you are still lovable. You are still capable of growth.”
Compassion is, at its core, a posture of self-respect.
If you want to truly listen to yourself — to hear your own wisdom — you must be willing to love yourself. If you live with self-disgust or quiet self-hatred, you will not trust your own voice. Why would you listen to someone you despise?
Loving yourself begins with a simple but radical recognition: every human being has inherent value. Including you.
Years ago, I served as a chaplain in a maximum-security federal prison. I sat with men who had committed some of the most serious crimes imaginable. My role was not to determine whether they were worthy of care. My role was to care for them.
During that time, I leaned heavily on what psychologist Carl Rogers called unconditional positive regard — the commitment to see every person as deserving of dignity and respect, regardless of what they had done.
That belief was tested. And it changed me.
Because if I could extend compassion to men the world had written off, I could not logically exclude myself from that same mercy.
Compassion is not denial. It is not excusing harm. It is not pretending mistakes don’t matter. It is choosing to separate your worth from your worst moment.
And here is what I’ve learned:
You heal faster in kindness than you ever will in shame.
Shame says, “You are bad.”
Compassion says, “You are human.”
One imprisons. The other frees.
If you want to grow — if you want to become more differentiated, more grounded, more fully yourself — start here.
Speak to yourself the way you would speak to someone entrusted to your care.
Because you are.
Learn more about yourself: Take a free 5-minute self-listening assessment:
https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/1...
Shame cannot survive in an environment marked by kindness. Its power weakens when it is met with gentleness instead of accusation. Compassion says, “Yes, you’ve messed up. But you are still a person of worth, dignity, and value.” It says, “You are imperfect. You fall short of your own expectations and the expectations of others. And you are still lovable. You are still capable of growth.”
Compassion is, at its core, a posture of self-respect.
If you want to truly listen to yourself — to hear your own wisdom — you must be willing to love yourself. If you live with self-disgust or quiet self-hatred, you will not trust your own voice. Why would you listen to someone you despise?
Loving yourself begins with a simple but radical recognition: every human being has inherent value. Including you.
Years ago, I served as a chaplain in a maximum-security federal prison. I sat with men who had committed some of the most serious crimes imaginable. My role was not to determine whether they were worthy of care. My role was to care for them.
During that time, I leaned heavily on what psychologist Carl Rogers called unconditional positive regard — the commitment to see every person as deserving of dignity and respect, regardless of what they had done.
That belief was tested. And it changed me.
Because if I could extend compassion to men the world had written off, I could not logically exclude myself from that same mercy.
Compassion is not denial. It is not excusing harm. It is not pretending mistakes don’t matter. It is choosing to separate your worth from your worst moment.
And here is what I’ve learned:
You heal faster in kindness than you ever will in shame.
Shame says, “You are bad.”
Compassion says, “You are human.”
One imprisons. The other frees.
If you want to grow — if you want to become more differentiated, more grounded, more fully yourself — start here.
Speak to yourself the way you would speak to someone entrusted to your care.
Because you are.
Learn more about yourself: Take a free 5-minute self-listening assessment:
https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/1...
February 25, 2026
What Listening to Yourself Isn't
Common Myths About Self-Listening
Many people hesitate to slow down or turn inward because they’ve absorbed misconceptions about what it means to “listen to yourself.” These myths often come from cultural messages that prize performance over presence, certainty over curiosity, and noise over nuance.
The truth is, self-listening isn’t self-indulgence—it’s self-respect. It’s the foundation for authentic living and genuine connection.
________________________________________
Myth #1: Listening to yourself is selfish.
Truth: True self-listening expands compassion; it doesn’t shrink it.
When you attend to your own emotions, needs, and limits, you become more grounded and less reactive. That “groundedness” creates space to listen to others more fully. You can’t pour empathy from an empty vessel.
________________________________________
Myth #2: If I follow my feelings, I’ll lose control.
Truth: Feelings are information, not instructions.
Listening to them doesn’t mean obeying every impulse—it means understanding the message behind the emotion. Anger might reveal a boundary crossed. Sadness might point toward a need for self-care. When you name your emotions, you can respond with wisdom instead of reacting in confusion.
________________________________________
Myth #3: Stillness is a waste of time.
Truth: Stillness is where wisdom becomes audible.
In a culture addicted to speed and stimulation, slowing down can feel unproductive or even lazy.
But in quiet moments, Insight surfaces. Peace returns.
Listening requires margin—those sacred pauses where clarity grows.
________________________________________
Myth #4: Self-listening is only for people who are spiritual or emotional.
Truth: Everyone speaks to themselves all the time, it’s a matter of paying attention.
Self-listening is simply taking in your inner data. It’s as practical as checking your dashboard before a long drive. You don’t have to be mystical or artistic to do it; you only have to be human.
________________________________________
Myth #5: Once I learn to listen to myself, life will feel peaceful all the time.
Truth: Awareness brings peace, but it also brings truth—and truth can be disruptive before it’s freeing.
Listening to yourself sometimes surfaces discomfort, grief, or conviction. But clarity, even when painful, is kinder than confusion. Peace grows not from avoiding what’s real, but from being present to it with compassion.
________________________________________
Myth #6: I’ll lose my faith or values if I trust my inner voice.
Truth: Self-listening doesn’t replace external wisdom; it helps you discern it.
The inner life is one of the ways many people experience the divine speaking through conscience, intuition, and longing. Listening inward can deepen—not diminish—spiritual integrity.
It helps align your faith with your felt experience so that belief and being are not at odds.
Learn more about yourself. Sign up for a free five-minute self-listening assessment:
https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/1...
Many people hesitate to slow down or turn inward because they’ve absorbed misconceptions about what it means to “listen to yourself.” These myths often come from cultural messages that prize performance over presence, certainty over curiosity, and noise over nuance.
The truth is, self-listening isn’t self-indulgence—it’s self-respect. It’s the foundation for authentic living and genuine connection.
________________________________________
Myth #1: Listening to yourself is selfish.
Truth: True self-listening expands compassion; it doesn’t shrink it.
When you attend to your own emotions, needs, and limits, you become more grounded and less reactive. That “groundedness” creates space to listen to others more fully. You can’t pour empathy from an empty vessel.
________________________________________
Myth #2: If I follow my feelings, I’ll lose control.
Truth: Feelings are information, not instructions.
Listening to them doesn’t mean obeying every impulse—it means understanding the message behind the emotion. Anger might reveal a boundary crossed. Sadness might point toward a need for self-care. When you name your emotions, you can respond with wisdom instead of reacting in confusion.
________________________________________
Myth #3: Stillness is a waste of time.
Truth: Stillness is where wisdom becomes audible.
In a culture addicted to speed and stimulation, slowing down can feel unproductive or even lazy.
But in quiet moments, Insight surfaces. Peace returns.
Listening requires margin—those sacred pauses where clarity grows.
________________________________________
Myth #4: Self-listening is only for people who are spiritual or emotional.
Truth: Everyone speaks to themselves all the time, it’s a matter of paying attention.
Self-listening is simply taking in your inner data. It’s as practical as checking your dashboard before a long drive. You don’t have to be mystical or artistic to do it; you only have to be human.
________________________________________
Myth #5: Once I learn to listen to myself, life will feel peaceful all the time.
Truth: Awareness brings peace, but it also brings truth—and truth can be disruptive before it’s freeing.
Listening to yourself sometimes surfaces discomfort, grief, or conviction. But clarity, even when painful, is kinder than confusion. Peace grows not from avoiding what’s real, but from being present to it with compassion.
________________________________________
Myth #6: I’ll lose my faith or values if I trust my inner voice.
Truth: Self-listening doesn’t replace external wisdom; it helps you discern it.
The inner life is one of the ways many people experience the divine speaking through conscience, intuition, and longing. Listening inward can deepen—not diminish—spiritual integrity.
It helps align your faith with your felt experience so that belief and being are not at odds.
Learn more about yourself. Sign up for a free five-minute self-listening assessment:
https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/1...
February 13, 2026
You Are Not a Problem to Be Fixed — You Are a Person to Be Heard
Most people don’t realize how much noise they’re carrying inside.
We’re constantly bombarded by schedules, phones, expectations, and the quiet pressure of everything we haven’t yet figured out. Even when the room is silent, our minds are rarely still. We worry. We plan. We replay conversations. We rehearse arguments that never happened. We distract ourselves with headlines and habits.
And somewhere beneath all of that is a deeper voice we’ve forgotten how to hear.
That voice is your own wisdom.
In my work as a therapist and a chaplain, I sit with people during some of the most sacred and difficult moments of their lives. I’ve met them in hospitals, counseling offices, and crisis settings. And again and again, I see the same pattern: when people feel stuck, overwhelmed, or lost, they are often disconnected from themselves.
They don’t trust their feelings.
They dismiss their thoughts.
They numb their bodies.
They overthink or under-feel.
They move through life with a quiet sense that something essential is missing.
Often, what’s missing is self-connection.
And self-connection begins with listening to yourself.
I once worked with a man who described his anxiety as “the enemy.” Every time it rose, he tried to crush it with logic. He doubled down on productivity. He told himself to toughen up. But the anxiety kept returning. When we slowed down enough to explore it, we discovered it wasn’t trying to sabotage him. It was signaling exhaustion and a life built almost entirely around other people’s expectations. His anxiety wasn’t the problem. It was a messenger.
This is where many of us get confused.
When I talk about self-listening, I don’t mean indulging every impulse or chasing comfort. I don’t mean believing every thought or obeying every feeling. I mean something deeper and more grounded. I mean cultivating an inner posture of curiosity, compassion, courage, and clarity. I mean learning to recognize the wisdom within your anxiety, the truth inside your grief, and the longing beneath your restlessness.
Your inner life is constantly communicating with you.
Through emotion.
Through thought.
Through your body.
Through behavior.
Through your spirit.
Each of these carries information. Each speaks its own language. Anxiety might be alerting you to the need for more margin in your life. Restless thoughts might be pointing toward needing better boundaries at work. Chronic fatigue might be telling a story about depletion. Recurring relational conflict might reveal a pattern that needs attention.
But if we never slow down long enough to listen, the signals get louder.
Many people hesitate here.
They think, That sounds nice… but I’m not sure it will work for me.
Maybe you’ve been overwhelmed for years. Maybe you’ve been hurt. Maybe you learned early on that trusting yourself was unsafe, selfish, or unreliable. Maybe vulnerability was punished. Maybe emotions were mocked. Maybe your needs were minimized.
When that happens, self-protection makes sense. You learn to override yourself. To intellectualize instead of feel. To accommodate instead of assert. To stay busy instead of be still.
If that’s you, you’re not defective. You adapted.
But what protected you once may now be disconnecting you.
Real change starts with self-awareness. With noticing what’s happening inside you without immediately fixing, judging, or suppressing it. With allowing your inner experience to become visible.
That pause between stimulus and reaction is powerful. It’s where choice re-enters the room.
Instead of, “Why am I like this?”
It becomes, “What is this trying to tell me?”
Instead of, “I shouldn’t feel this way.”
It becomes, “What might this feeling need from me?”
That shift alone can transform how you relate to yourself.
And it takes practice.
There is no one-size-fits-all formula here. Self-awareness isn’t a technique; it’s a relationship. A way of being present with yourself over time. It’s learning to pause when something stirs. To get curious instead of critical. To treat your inner world with the same care you would offer someone you love.
It also means confronting the barriers that block self-connection: shame that tells you you’re broken, noise that keeps you distracted, fear of what you might discover, and the quiet belief that your inner world isn’t worth attention.
But here’s what I’ve seen, over and over again: when people begin to listen to themselves with compassion, something shifts. They make clearer decisions. They set healthier boundaries. They feel less reactive in relationships. They experience a deeper sense of alignment between who they are and how they live.
Not because their lives suddenly become easier.
But because they are no longer fighting themselves.
This kind of listening is not a one-time breakthrough. It’s a lifelong habit. A daily returning. A steady practice of coming home to yourself.
And if there’s a heartbeat underneath all of this, it’s simple:
You are not a problem to be fixed.
You are a person to be heard.
And your own voice is worth listening to.
Learn to listen to yourself more fully. Get a free five-minute Self-Listening Assessment:
https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/1...
We’re constantly bombarded by schedules, phones, expectations, and the quiet pressure of everything we haven’t yet figured out. Even when the room is silent, our minds are rarely still. We worry. We plan. We replay conversations. We rehearse arguments that never happened. We distract ourselves with headlines and habits.
And somewhere beneath all of that is a deeper voice we’ve forgotten how to hear.
That voice is your own wisdom.
In my work as a therapist and a chaplain, I sit with people during some of the most sacred and difficult moments of their lives. I’ve met them in hospitals, counseling offices, and crisis settings. And again and again, I see the same pattern: when people feel stuck, overwhelmed, or lost, they are often disconnected from themselves.
They don’t trust their feelings.
They dismiss their thoughts.
They numb their bodies.
They overthink or under-feel.
They move through life with a quiet sense that something essential is missing.
Often, what’s missing is self-connection.
And self-connection begins with listening to yourself.
I once worked with a man who described his anxiety as “the enemy.” Every time it rose, he tried to crush it with logic. He doubled down on productivity. He told himself to toughen up. But the anxiety kept returning. When we slowed down enough to explore it, we discovered it wasn’t trying to sabotage him. It was signaling exhaustion and a life built almost entirely around other people’s expectations. His anxiety wasn’t the problem. It was a messenger.
This is where many of us get confused.
When I talk about self-listening, I don’t mean indulging every impulse or chasing comfort. I don’t mean believing every thought or obeying every feeling. I mean something deeper and more grounded. I mean cultivating an inner posture of curiosity, compassion, courage, and clarity. I mean learning to recognize the wisdom within your anxiety, the truth inside your grief, and the longing beneath your restlessness.
Your inner life is constantly communicating with you.
Through emotion.
Through thought.
Through your body.
Through behavior.
Through your spirit.
Each of these carries information. Each speaks its own language. Anxiety might be alerting you to the need for more margin in your life. Restless thoughts might be pointing toward needing better boundaries at work. Chronic fatigue might be telling a story about depletion. Recurring relational conflict might reveal a pattern that needs attention.
But if we never slow down long enough to listen, the signals get louder.
Many people hesitate here.
They think, That sounds nice… but I’m not sure it will work for me.
Maybe you’ve been overwhelmed for years. Maybe you’ve been hurt. Maybe you learned early on that trusting yourself was unsafe, selfish, or unreliable. Maybe vulnerability was punished. Maybe emotions were mocked. Maybe your needs were minimized.
When that happens, self-protection makes sense. You learn to override yourself. To intellectualize instead of feel. To accommodate instead of assert. To stay busy instead of be still.
If that’s you, you’re not defective. You adapted.
But what protected you once may now be disconnecting you.
Real change starts with self-awareness. With noticing what’s happening inside you without immediately fixing, judging, or suppressing it. With allowing your inner experience to become visible.
That pause between stimulus and reaction is powerful. It’s where choice re-enters the room.
Instead of, “Why am I like this?”
It becomes, “What is this trying to tell me?”
Instead of, “I shouldn’t feel this way.”
It becomes, “What might this feeling need from me?”
That shift alone can transform how you relate to yourself.
And it takes practice.
There is no one-size-fits-all formula here. Self-awareness isn’t a technique; it’s a relationship. A way of being present with yourself over time. It’s learning to pause when something stirs. To get curious instead of critical. To treat your inner world with the same care you would offer someone you love.
It also means confronting the barriers that block self-connection: shame that tells you you’re broken, noise that keeps you distracted, fear of what you might discover, and the quiet belief that your inner world isn’t worth attention.
But here’s what I’ve seen, over and over again: when people begin to listen to themselves with compassion, something shifts. They make clearer decisions. They set healthier boundaries. They feel less reactive in relationships. They experience a deeper sense of alignment between who they are and how they live.
Not because their lives suddenly become easier.
But because they are no longer fighting themselves.
This kind of listening is not a one-time breakthrough. It’s a lifelong habit. A daily returning. A steady practice of coming home to yourself.
And if there’s a heartbeat underneath all of this, it’s simple:
You are not a problem to be fixed.
You are a person to be heard.
And your own voice is worth listening to.
Learn to listen to yourself more fully. Get a free five-minute Self-Listening Assessment:
https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/1...
January 23, 2026
What humility isn't
Humility is one of the most misunderstood virtues. In both faith and psychology, it’s often distorted into something small, submissive, or self-erasing. But true humility is not weakness—it’s courage. It’s not thinking less of yourself, but seeing yourself truthfully and staying open to love even when shame tempts you to hide. Below are some of the most common myths about humility and the truths that set them right.
________________________________________
Myth 1: Humility means thinking you’re worthless.
Truth: Humility is not self-degradation; it’s self-awareness.
Many confuse humility with shame. Shame says, “I’m not enough.” Humility says, “I am limited—and still loved.” To see yourself rightly is to acknowledge both strength and need without inflating or making yourself small. Humility is grounded confidence—the kind that doesn’t require comparison.
________________________________________
Myth 2: Humility is weakness.
Truth: Humility is one of the most courageous postures a person can take. It takes strength to face your own imperfections without collapsing into despair or defensiveness. It takes bravery to admit need in a culture that worships self-sufficiency. The humble person isn’t powerless—they’re powerful enough to stay open.
________________________________________
Myth 3: Humility means never speaking up or taking credit.
Truth: Humility doesn’t silence your voice—it refines it.
False humility hides behind quietness and avoidance, often to escape risk or attention. True humility allows you to take up space without arrogance. It lets you celebrate your gifts without making them your identity. The humble person doesn’t need to shrink; they simply no longer need to impress.
________________________________________
Myth 4: Humility and confidence can’t coexist.
Truth: Humility and confidence are two sides of the same coin.
Confidence without humility becomes pride; humility without confidence becomes insecurity. Healthy humility integrates both. It allows you to walk in truth about your worth and your limits, to lead with empathy, and to rest without fear of failure.
________________________________________
Myth 5: Humility guarantees healthy relationships.
Truth: Humility opens the door, but others still choose whether to walk through it.
Arrogance pushes people away. False humility shrinks away from others. Humility gives others the option to truly know us and accept the real you but it's no promise they will.
________________________________________
Myth 6: Humility comes naturally to the “good.”
Truth: Humility is learned through failure and grace.
No one is born humble. We become humble by facing the limits of pride and the emptiness of hiding, by discovering that our worth isn’t earned but received.
________________________________________
I hope clearing some of these myths will help us live more truly humble lives!
Get a free five-minute Self-Listening Assessment:
https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/1...
________________________________________
Myth 1: Humility means thinking you’re worthless.
Truth: Humility is not self-degradation; it’s self-awareness.
Many confuse humility with shame. Shame says, “I’m not enough.” Humility says, “I am limited—and still loved.” To see yourself rightly is to acknowledge both strength and need without inflating or making yourself small. Humility is grounded confidence—the kind that doesn’t require comparison.
________________________________________
Myth 2: Humility is weakness.
Truth: Humility is one of the most courageous postures a person can take. It takes strength to face your own imperfections without collapsing into despair or defensiveness. It takes bravery to admit need in a culture that worships self-sufficiency. The humble person isn’t powerless—they’re powerful enough to stay open.
________________________________________
Myth 3: Humility means never speaking up or taking credit.
Truth: Humility doesn’t silence your voice—it refines it.
False humility hides behind quietness and avoidance, often to escape risk or attention. True humility allows you to take up space without arrogance. It lets you celebrate your gifts without making them your identity. The humble person doesn’t need to shrink; they simply no longer need to impress.
________________________________________
Myth 4: Humility and confidence can’t coexist.
Truth: Humility and confidence are two sides of the same coin.
Confidence without humility becomes pride; humility without confidence becomes insecurity. Healthy humility integrates both. It allows you to walk in truth about your worth and your limits, to lead with empathy, and to rest without fear of failure.
________________________________________
Myth 5: Humility guarantees healthy relationships.
Truth: Humility opens the door, but others still choose whether to walk through it.
Arrogance pushes people away. False humility shrinks away from others. Humility gives others the option to truly know us and accept the real you but it's no promise they will.
________________________________________
Myth 6: Humility comes naturally to the “good.”
Truth: Humility is learned through failure and grace.
No one is born humble. We become humble by facing the limits of pride and the emptiness of hiding, by discovering that our worth isn’t earned but received.
________________________________________
I hope clearing some of these myths will help us live more truly humble lives!
Get a free five-minute Self-Listening Assessment:
https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/1...
November 20, 2025
First Endorsement!
I’ve been learning that promoting a book is an entirely different skill set from writing one. Writing Listening to Yourself was deeply personal and honestly joyful. Promotion, on the other hand, is a strange mix of courage, anxiety, and long stretches of emailing people who may or may not ever reply. It’s harder than writing by a mile. But it’s also been unexpectedly encouraging.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve sent the book to professors, colleagues, counselors, ministry leaders, and even a handful of aspirational endorsers I admire from afar. A number of people are currently reading it, and this week I received my first official endorsement! It genuinely moved me. Here’s what he wrote:
“Tyler Erickson’s Listening to Yourself: How to Hear Your Own Wisdom is a beautifully written and wonderfully compassionate guide for anyone seeking greater self-awareness and inner peace. Erickson draws from his rich background in counseling and ministry and invites readers to approach their inner lives with curiosity, grace, and courage. Through vivid storytelling and reflection exercises, he helps us quiet the noise of shame and fear. This book is more than a resource — it is a companion on a journey toward authenticity and healing.”
-Dr. Verona, Ph.D., Assistant Professor of Counseling
He then forwarded the book to 100+ other faculty members. I don’t think I was prepared for how meaningful that kind of generosity would feel. To know the book is being shared from one scholar to a whole department—I’m still taking that in.
There have been other surprises as well. I found out that I’ll be featured in the University of the Cumberlands' alumni magazine in the spring! For someone who still feels like a new author, these small moments feel huge.
I’m also on track to have my next title ready in February. Writing continues to come naturally; the promoting part continues to stretch me. Maybe that’s the point. The book is about listening inward with honesty and courage, and I’m having to practice that same courage in real time as I put the work into the world.
Thank you to everyone following along here. Your encouragement means more than you know.
Join Tyler's Reader List through the link below to be the first to be updated on new books being released.
https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/1...
Over the last few weeks, I’ve sent the book to professors, colleagues, counselors, ministry leaders, and even a handful of aspirational endorsers I admire from afar. A number of people are currently reading it, and this week I received my first official endorsement! It genuinely moved me. Here’s what he wrote:
“Tyler Erickson’s Listening to Yourself: How to Hear Your Own Wisdom is a beautifully written and wonderfully compassionate guide for anyone seeking greater self-awareness and inner peace. Erickson draws from his rich background in counseling and ministry and invites readers to approach their inner lives with curiosity, grace, and courage. Through vivid storytelling and reflection exercises, he helps us quiet the noise of shame and fear. This book is more than a resource — it is a companion on a journey toward authenticity and healing.”
-Dr. Verona, Ph.D., Assistant Professor of Counseling
He then forwarded the book to 100+ other faculty members. I don’t think I was prepared for how meaningful that kind of generosity would feel. To know the book is being shared from one scholar to a whole department—I’m still taking that in.
There have been other surprises as well. I found out that I’ll be featured in the University of the Cumberlands' alumni magazine in the spring! For someone who still feels like a new author, these small moments feel huge.
I’m also on track to have my next title ready in February. Writing continues to come naturally; the promoting part continues to stretch me. Maybe that’s the point. The book is about listening inward with honesty and courage, and I’m having to practice that same courage in real time as I put the work into the world.
Thank you to everyone following along here. Your encouragement means more than you know.
Join Tyler's Reader List through the link below to be the first to be updated on new books being released.
https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/1...
October 20, 2025
Learning as a Writer
When I first released Listening to Yourself: How to Hear Your Own Wisdom, I thought I was done, like it was mission accomplished. But finishing the book wasn’t the end. It was the beginning of a process I’ve grown to love: learning, revising, and growing as a writer.
A few weeks after publishing, I read through my book again and saw things I wanted to change—sentences that rambled, transitions that could flow better, and sections that needed clarity. My first reaction was embarrassment. But soon, I felt something else: gratitude. I realized this wasn’t failure, but it was progress. I was seeing my work with new eyes, which meant I was growing.
So I got to work. I cut repetition, refined ideas, and made the book breathe a little more. Revision, I discovered, isn’t about fixing mistakes, but it’s about caring for your message and your readers. It’s about caring enough about what you write to continue working on it.
Writing has taught me humility. It reminds me that growth comes from openness, listening to feedback, and the desire to keep learning. It’s the same lesson I see in counseling: awareness is the first step toward transformation. The moment you stop pretending you’ve “arrived,” you create space to become something new.
And something new is what I'm doing. Revisions have been made to my first book, and I am already headlong into my next book. My next book won't have me "arriving" as a writer either, but it will be another step toward improvement.
And that process of progress as a writer (I'm discovering) gives me great meaning and joy.
A few weeks after publishing, I read through my book again and saw things I wanted to change—sentences that rambled, transitions that could flow better, and sections that needed clarity. My first reaction was embarrassment. But soon, I felt something else: gratitude. I realized this wasn’t failure, but it was progress. I was seeing my work with new eyes, which meant I was growing.
So I got to work. I cut repetition, refined ideas, and made the book breathe a little more. Revision, I discovered, isn’t about fixing mistakes, but it’s about caring for your message and your readers. It’s about caring enough about what you write to continue working on it.
Writing has taught me humility. It reminds me that growth comes from openness, listening to feedback, and the desire to keep learning. It’s the same lesson I see in counseling: awareness is the first step toward transformation. The moment you stop pretending you’ve “arrived,” you create space to become something new.
And something new is what I'm doing. Revisions have been made to my first book, and I am already headlong into my next book. My next book won't have me "arriving" as a writer either, but it will be another step toward improvement.
And that process of progress as a writer (I'm discovering) gives me great meaning and joy.
October 6, 2025
The Vulnerability of Writing Listening to Yourself
Writing "Listening to Yourself" was vulnerable for me. Since writing it, questions have crept in: Is it good enough? Will others like it? Did I edit it enough?
You know it’s strange to realize that once your words leave your hands, they no longer belong to you. Readers will interpret, question, and experience them in ways you can’t control, and that’s part of the beauty and terror of art. A book, like any creative work, is never truly finished. It’s simply the moment you stop working on it.
When I finally set the manuscript down, I felt a mix of relief and anxiety, but mostly gratitude. And since finishing it, hearing from readers who found encouragement or clarity in its pages has been deeply humbling. A few have even said it helped them reconnect with themselves, and that alone makes it worth it.
So, to answer my own questions that are in my head, “no, it probably wasn’t good enough for everyone, some won’t like it, and I certainly could have edited more. But it is enough. And it was my first book. And I’ll get to write more. And anyway… there’s always a 2nd edition!”
So, in the end, Listening to Yourself became what I hoped it would be: a companion for anyone learning to hear their own wisdom. Moreover, writing it taught me that the goal isn’t perfection, but honesty. And honesty is a big step in the process of growth and self-understanding for everyone.
You know it’s strange to realize that once your words leave your hands, they no longer belong to you. Readers will interpret, question, and experience them in ways you can’t control, and that’s part of the beauty and terror of art. A book, like any creative work, is never truly finished. It’s simply the moment you stop working on it.
When I finally set the manuscript down, I felt a mix of relief and anxiety, but mostly gratitude. And since finishing it, hearing from readers who found encouragement or clarity in its pages has been deeply humbling. A few have even said it helped them reconnect with themselves, and that alone makes it worth it.
So, to answer my own questions that are in my head, “no, it probably wasn’t good enough for everyone, some won’t like it, and I certainly could have edited more. But it is enough. And it was my first book. And I’ll get to write more. And anyway… there’s always a 2nd edition!”
So, in the end, Listening to Yourself became what I hoped it would be: a companion for anyone learning to hear their own wisdom. Moreover, writing it taught me that the goal isn’t perfection, but honesty. And honesty is a big step in the process of growth and self-understanding for everyone.
Listening to Yourself
Self-understanding isn’t just an idea to grasp but a practice to live. Each reflection is drawn from my work as a therapist and chaplain, as well as from my own journey toward authenticity, purpose, a
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