Lynn Ricci's Blog

Confession time: I’m powerless when it comes to certain rom-com tropes. The kind that make you grin like an idiot, stay up way too late, and text your best friend things like “you’ve got to read this one!” When I started writing my newest book, Matchless, I wanted to pack in all the things I adore—plenty of banter, and those swoony, slow-burn moments that make your heart ache and your cheeks hurt from smiling.

My female main character is smart, funny, a little chaotic—and looking for love in all the wrong men so she is failing miserably and believes she is matchless. Which, of course, makes her the perfect target for “the one” she didn’t see coming.

Here are a few tropes I just couldn’t resist slipping in:

Enemies to Lovers
There’s nothing quite like two people who drive each other completely crazy… until they realize all that banter might actually be chemistry in disguise. Their snark hides sparks, and I adored writing every eye roll that secretly meant “kiss me.”

Fake Dating
It starts as an online search and ends with a reluctant deal and a cover story. They’re both sure it’ll be no-strings-attached until one of them starts caring far too much. Cue the longing glances, the almost-touches, and the questions swirling in their thoughts of “what are we doing?”.

Grumpy + Sunshine
He’s reserved, methodical, and determined to keep his life in check . . . because he has to. She’s the human equivalent of a pink glitter explosion—creative, outspoken, and absolutely not part of his plan. Yet every time she’s near, he swears she smells of vanilla… and trouble.

Sometimes the sweetest connection is the one you never see coming.

That line became my heartbeat while writing this book. Because underneath all the banter and slow burn, it’s really a story about finding love where you least expect it and realizing that what looks like chaos might actually be the beginning of something extraordinary.

The book just received its first book blogger review on Goodreads: a 5 star rating. See the review here and the books it is compared to — and join the 1000+ others who have added Matchless to their TBR bookshelf, and sign up for my Goodreads Giveaway!

So yes, I gave in to one of my favorite tropes. But honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way. If these are the same tropes that YOU can’t resist – I hope you’ll check out Matchless!

Sweet Contemporary Novels with a Desire for a Second Chance

If you’ve read any of my books, you’ve probably noticed one theme that keeps sneaking its way into every story — second chances.

I’ve always been fascinated by what happens when love circles back. When timing, fate, or even a little magic gives two people another shot. Maybe it’s the hope in starting over, or the emotional messiness that comes with revisiting what once was. Either way, my characters rarely get it right the first time… and that’s exactly how I like it. And, let’s face it . . . as authors we sometimes tuck a little of ourselves, or our desires, into our books.

Let’s take a little tour through my stories and the tropes that make them tick.

The Dating Intervention (My debut novel)

Tropes: Second Chance Romance, Starting Over, Age Gap, Forbidden Love

Dating after divorce isn’t for the faint of heart — especially when your friends decide to “intervene.” This story dives into rediscovering yourself, finding love again when you least expect it, and realizing that sometimes your heart just needs the right person… and a fresh start.

Cursed

Tropes: Second Chance, Forced Proximity, Reincarnation, Modern Gothic Beauty & the Beast

Witches, curses, and a love story that defies time — Cursed is all about two souls who keep finding each other no matter how many lives they live. It’s atmospheric, romantic, and a little dark — the kind of story that whispers “what if love really is eternal?”

Chasing Yesterday

Tropes: Second Chance, Mistaken Identity, Magical Realism, Angelic Intervention

When fate (and an angel) meddles with a love story, things get complicated. This one blends real life with a touch of the extraordinary — exploring forgiveness, destiny, and how even the universe can’t resist giving some couples one more chance.

Matchless

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers, Grumpy/Sunshine, Fake Dating — with a Second Chance Twist

Sparks fly when opposites collide — but add in an instant dislike (or is it attraction?), and you get delicious tension. Matchless is my love letter to the chaotic energy of rivalry, the slow-burn pull between two people who pretend to hate each other, and the moment they realize why they cared all along.

Why I’ll Never Let Go of Second Chances

For me, the beauty of a second chance is that it feels earned. These characters have lived, loved, made mistakes, and grown. Their happily ever after isn’t a fairy tale — it’s a choice or opportunity to try again.

Whether it’s set in a bakery, a haunted brownstone, or somewhere between heaven and earth, every story I write is about love that endures — sometimes despite everything.

Because deep down, I think we all believe in second chances. Don’t you?

Find Your Next Second Chance Romance

Each of my novels offers a different kind of reunion — from magical to modern, enemies to lovers to soulmates across lifetimes.

Start with The Dating Intervention — for a heartfelt, real-world rediscovery of love.
Fall under the spell of Cursed — for gothic romance and reincarnated love.
Lose yourself in Chasing Yesterday — for a supernatural twist on second chances.

And Read Matchless — for rivals, sparks, banter and fake dating fun.

Visit my Author Page on Amazon

Because no matter where love begins — or how many times it falters — there’s always a chance it can find its way back.

Hello, friends—it’s been a while! Life swept me away, but I’m thrilled to say that I’ve been busy creating—and now I’m back with some exciting news on my contemporary sweet romance novels.

One year ago last week, I released my newest novel, Chasing Yesterday. It’s a contemporary romance with a touch of magical realism—think It’s a Wonderful Life with a guardian-angel twist but wrapped in a heartfelt love story. This book means so much to me, and I can’t wait to share more behind-the-scenes details with you here on the blog.

Chasing Yesterday was a great experience. And boy have things changed since I released my two earlier novels! Readers have really taken center stage and built vibrant networks. There’s a little thing called BookTok now and a community called Bookstagram – I wish I was big part of these communities last time around because the readers are wonderful, the engagement is so supportive and helpful, and I have met other indie authors like myself and been exposed to so many great books that you don’t find in your local bookstore. If you are involved in these communities, be sure to follow me there!

About Me and My Books

As the graphics show, besides my last book that I keep mentioning – Chasing Yesterday – I also have The Dating Intervention (my debut novel), a contemporary second-chance romance, and Cursed, a paranormal romance and a short story Yankee Swap.

Why mention a short story? Because one of the characters got her “best friend” role in a new book on the horizon! My next release is a romcom filled with banter, fake dating, and plenty of heart. I’ll be sharing teasers, character spotlights and fun insights. Here is a peek at the cover for Matchless and I will have more before its October 20 release. If you are interested – there is a Goodreads Giveaway right now that you can get in on here and Matchless is available on Kindle as a pre-release: order here

Thank you for sticking around, or for finding me for the first time! Either way – welcome! I hope you’ll join me as I dive back into blogging with fresh posts about writing, books I love, and updates on my own stories.

I am heading off to the beach. So happy to say those words out loud, write them down, think of them. I am heading off to the beach. It says freedom, relaxation, sunshine, seagull cries, the crashing waves, someones music in the distance. It’s lying on a beach blanket letting your mind wander, drifting in and out of sleep. And thinking . . .

And when you clear your mind, new things can enter.

We have rented a house for two weeks where the family can get together in one of my favorite seaside towns on Cape Cod. The perfect all American small town feel for the Fourth of July complete with a small town parade, band concerts and fireworks, family events and plenty of ice cream shops for the daily dose of sweet creamy goodness.

But when I am not indulging in my ice cream cravings or need for sun and surf, I am looking forward to creating. I have one book ready to release, another I am about one third of the way through writing, and books three and four circling the back of my mind competing for attention and waiting for the light of day. . . or perhaps a rainy day. In two weeks when I return to my daily life I have a feeling I will also be full of character and plot ideas.

The main goal will be preparing for the book launch to have plans in place in case these last few queries don’t pan out. I have a good feeling about the story . . . hoping an agent takes a chance, but if not . . . Kindle, here I come!

Keep writing….

I’m here because I am a writer. An author. A romantic that expresses myself by putting fingers to keyboard (no longer pen to paper) to tell stories. I have snippets of characters and scenes in my head and I string a story together that I need to get out. Many of you may be the same . . . but the business behind writing and getting a book out is a long winding road for many of us and the hoops to jump through can be unexpected.

My first book came out seven years ago and I realize now how far off I was on presenting it to the world. It was a contemporary romance but it was more women’s literature. Catagory was wrong, marketing was far too light as I had little money and I self published, and my personal platform was not built out. It was followed by a paranormal romance that was more on mark and did much better — perhaps it was the catagory, maybe it was the writing, maybe it was the marketing efforts or that my platform had increased . . . but it was better.

Fast forward a few years and I wrote a new book — this time I understand the categories, have the funds to support if I go through the self-publishing route, and I am more aware of having a platform. A few months ago I launched Twitter and Instagram accounts, began posting to my Facebook account again, and started blogging again . . . but I believed this book was different and I should try to find an agent. What a daunting task that is when you are a virtual unknown!

Any new writer starting out will tell you the same thing — you finish your book, polish it up, get through an editing process, and you feel you are ready to go get that literary agent. But how do you do that? It’s not easy despite having a good manuscript. A few tips:

Build out your social platform. It was surprising to see how many times agents want to see your social platforms and number of followers. Spend the time to set up a writer/author specific page/handle, express your voice, and build your followers. Be nice, be authentic, and for heavens sake do not be overly anything (it is best to leave rants, political leanings, and anything too personal to your personal social channels)

Explore Manuscript Wish List. This helpful site lets you quickly search for agents that may be good targets for your book. Easy to navigate around and focus your search. This is site is essential as you start to build your target agent list. https://www.manuscriptwishlist.com/

Write a Query Letter. I found this was nearly as difficult as writing the book! It should be a one page letter that hooks the agent that is looking at hundreds of these letters in a few moments. It needs to be personalized – which means you cannot just write a blind cover letter and send to 50 agents. Check out agents’ blogs for how THEY want to see the query. This is a great example: https://bookendsliterary.com/2018/04/17/the-art-of-the-query-letter/

Compose the Synopsis. I prefer the one page synopsis and what I found surprising is you need to give away your secrets. If you have twists and turns, a surprise ending, a big reveal — you need to include in your long synopsis so if requested as part of the query the agent can read to make sure the whole story hangs together. Again, one page like the query so be clear and succinct, have your hook, and pay attention to having this piece polished and ready to go.

Prepare your First Pages. Every query is different. Be ready with your First 10 pages, First 3 Chapters, First 10,000 words, etc. Have these documents ready by chapter and/or word count to include with the query. I made several word docs with BOOKTITLE F10P, BOOKTITLE F3C, etc so I could easily attach or upload. And be sure to send only what is being requested and in the format requested.

Participate in #PitMad. It’s March and all I hear in my house with a son who lives for basketball is March Madness. After just participating in my first #PitMad, I feel like THAT is the real madness! #PitMad not for the faint of heart – but what it does do is help refine and focus your: pitch, log line, hook — in 280 characters or less. Many include authors or books similar to your story to give agents a “feel” of your story. The Tweet is the essence of your story with certain hashtags. Be ready for #PitMad — it happens quarterly — but don’t be overly disappointed if you don’t get an agent like. Its competitive. What I learned late is there is a whole system of writers out there on Twitter that promise to share your pitches that day – be active ahead of #PitMad to secure this amplification and be ready to return the favor. On the day of – be active, be kind, and share and follow (but do not like – that’s only for agents) Be sure to give it a shot — even if only to refine your thoughts on how to hook an agent. More on #PitMad here (and be sure to read up on Pitch Wars as well!) https://pitchwars.org/pitmad/#writers

I’m including my three pitches below for Chasing Yesterday, my latest novel waiting for my dream agent. I’m busy incorporating the one that got the most shares into my query and start that process again. I’m not giving up . . . yet. I feel there is an agent out there for my book if they read the full manuscript. It’s just getting beyond those first 10 pages, 3 chapters, query letter so I need to find my correct hook to go fishing….

Chasing Yesterday, my latest novel waiting for my dream agent. Would you want to read this book? This author hopes so!","answers":[{"text":"SPARKSxADDISON ALLENish. A grieving widow is struggling w\/ the death of her high school sweetheart. A meddlesome matchmaking angel is struggling to earn her halo. Can secrets and questions from their entwined past hold the key to both of their futures? #pitmad #A #WF #R #MR","answerId":"41401075-100f-4a32-ac90-982ba8edd124"},{"text":"PS I LOVE YOU+BEST OF ME. A young widow is stalked by a meddling angel who rveals hidden identities and crushed passions that finally make sense of Katie's troubled marriage - she wed the wrong man. Katie now needs a nudge from beyond to find her stolen soulmate. #pitmad #A #WF #R #MR","answerId":"ea272790-78ea-4dda-80a8-90dff9dcf146"},{"text":"CYRANO DE BERGERAC X SEREDIPITY. When her husband dies, Katie learns the man she loved since he was her HS secret admirer wasn't her soulmate after all - from a wannabe angel with a secret. Can she reunite with who she always loved but never really met? $PitMad #A #WF #R #MR","answerId":"0e24b667-71bc-4a1e-b27a-f25eabd24586"}],"isMultipleChoice":false,"note":"","submitButtonLabel":"Submit","confirmMessageType":"results","borderWidth":2,"borderRadius":0,"hasBoxShadow":false,"hasOneResponsePerComputer":false,"randomizeAnswers":false,"width":100,"pollStatus":"open","closedPollState":"show-results","hideBranding":false,"buttonAlignment":"list","apiPollData":{"id":10786829,"question":"I'm including my three pitches below for Chasing Yesterday, my latest novel waiting for my dream agent. Would you want to r","note":"","settings":{"title":"","after_vote":"results","after_message":"","randomize_answers":false,"restrict_vote_repeat":false,"captcha":false,"multiple_choice":false,"redirect_url":"","close_status":"open","close_after":false},"answers":[{"answer_text":"SPARKSxADDISON ALLENish. A grieving widow is struggling w\/ the death of her high school sweetheart. A meddlesome matchmaking angel is struggling to earn her halo. Can secrets and questions from their entwined past hold the key to both of their futures? #pitmad #A #WF #R #MR","id":49778755,"client_id":"41401075-100f-4a32-ac90-982ba8edd124"},{"answer_text":"PS I LOVE YOU+BEST OF ME. A young widow is stalked by a meddling angel who rveals hidden identities and crushed passions that finally make sense of Katie's troubled marriage - she wed the wrong man. Katie now needs a nudge from beyond to find her stolen soulmate. #pitmad #A #WF #R #MR","id":49778762,"client_id":"ea272790-78ea-4dda-80a8-90dff9dcf146"},{"answer_text":"CYRANO DE BERGERAC X SEREDIPITY. When her husband dies, Katie learns the man she loved since he was her HS secret admirer wasn't her soulmate after all - from a wannabe angel with a secret. Can she reunite with who she always loved but never really met? $PitMad #A #WF #R #MR","id":49778763,"client_id":"0e24b667-71bc-4a1e-b27a-f25eabd24586"}],"client_id":"1070408b-c6cb-4e6b-af0d-2af67e474fab"}}">

SPARKS x ADDISON ALLEN-ish. A grieving widow is struggling w/ the death of her high school sweetheart. A meddlesome matchmaking angel is struggling to earn her halo. Can secrets and questions from their entwined past hold the key to both of their futures? #PitMad #A #WF #R #MR

PS I LOVE U+BEST OF ME. A young widow is stalked by a meddling angel who reveals hidden identities & crushed passions that finally make sense of Katie’s troubled marriage–she wed the wrong man. Katie now needs a nudge from beyond to find her stolen soulmate. #PitMad #A #WF #R #MR

CYRANO DE BERGERAC x SERENDIPITY. When her husband dies, Katie learns the man she loved since he was her HS secret admirer wasn’t her soulmate after all – from a wannabe angel with a secret. Can she reunite with who she always loved but never really met? #PitMad #A #WF #R  #MR

Would you want to read this book based on the above? This author hopes so!

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Venus hides in many ways, but in March it hides from view here in the northeast during the morning twilight hour. It will return in late April in the evening sky, a romantic bright evening star for lovers to gaze up to. It makes sense, April is the month for Venus, the beginning of Spring and fertility.

For me, however, I feel like Venus will forever remain hidden. Most people think of the planet when they hear Venus, however, my mind goes to the Roman goddess of love and beauty.

I think I was born a hopeless romantic. I came home from kindergarten announcing I picked the boy to be my husband someday. I kept the valentine from fourth grade that was delivered to my classroom from the fifth grade boy I had a crush on. Its still in a box of memories in the attic. And by sixth grade I had a bad case of puppy love complete with the whole downfall when he chose someone else and every song seemed to take on new meaning.

Elementary school was also when, as someone who loved to read and was interested in ancient history, I couldn’t get enough of the Greek and Roman Gods. The stories, the similarities, how the people built humor and humanity in to their Gods to make sense of their lives. They made them more real, and being more real, they were relatable and approachable to everyone. Maybe not everyone could relate to being born in the ocean, out of a clam shell, after your father, the god of the sky Caelus’ dismembered genitals were thrown into the ocean by his own son Saturn– but the Gods had human qualities good and bad. For example, like Venus, the Greek goddess Aphrodite was as complex as women are . . . she was sweet and golden and desirable, yet could be vengeful. Women turned to her for help with the love lives, finding love, or for fertility issues.

Is Venus still out there listening? Can you still make an offering? Should I gather incense, wine, mint, myrtle, and roses and ask for assistance in love . . . or at least get her son Cupid to stop following me around shooting silver arrows at any male and instead take a golden arrow from his quiver.

I want to be the song stuck in someone’s head. I want to be the kiss that someone can’t resist and doesn’t want to end. I want to be someone’s waking dream that they refuse to let go. And I want to be the storm in someone’s heart that engulfs with its strength, raw beauty, and unexpectedness that you don’t fight but instead settle in at home, warm and cozy, and enjoy.

As Venus hides, so does love. Spring is coming and with it Venus returns in April so this romantic will continue to hope….and write my own love stories.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

It sucks.

Actually, it f’n sucks, drains you emotionally, makes you envious of your friends and family that are in relationships, makes you cranky and more snarky than normal, increases your feeling of loneliness, and Hallmark becomes the go to channel for two hours of bliss with a romance crash to follow . . . yet we keep coming back for their sappy, predictable and unrealistic movies.

On the other hand, there’s chocolate and ice cream. And of course, wine. Since we don’t need to squeeze into a sexy dress for a special date night of dinner and champagne out at a overpriced restaurant with the prospects of looking good later when that dress comes off . . . we can make it truffles. As many truffles as we want. With a pint of Ben & Jerry’s on the side.

When I didn’t have a boyfriend or husband I sat home alone (with my chocolate and ice cream). And even when I was with someone, I never seemed to rate high enough for anything special. No, not what you are thinking. I wasn’t looking for a horse and carriage ride, jewelry, being whisked away to a surprise weekend getaway, or a dozens of red roses and balloons being delivered to work — I got red roses (no one ever got the blush pink ones I liked or peonies to be extra special) or I’d get the standard dinner out without much thought. Just a card picked out with a meaningful verse and something written inside would be special and romantic.

I’ve had a few very sweet Valentine’s surprises over the years. A card in the mail, a box of Chunky’s (yum) left on my door step, a delivery of flowers. But there was one Valentine’s Day that stood apart for me as special and romantic . . . because it was a surprise and came from the heart from a man I was in head over heels in love with who showed up unexpectedly at my house early that morning, got me to play hooky from work, and not only spent the day with me, but cooked the most delicious meal for me while I sat back and watched. Sexy.As.Hell. It was the only time a man ever planned, shopped for, and prepared a meal for me. But alas, that was a long time ago and he is off cooking for someone else.

So, what does a single, hopeless romantic do this month knowing that the big day for all those happy couples is around the corner? Plan a Gal-entines Day activity with girlfriends is always fun, stock up on my favorite chocolates and ice-cream — and of course writing, which is very therapeutic.

I’m querying the latest book I wrote – Chasing Yesterday – which is a love story with a touch of magic realism. And, I am jumping back in to finish a RomCom that I started a while back and have finally figured out how to solve the twist. Come next weekend, I am sure I will be buried in my protagonists love life …with a box of truffles to fuel my writing. A freezer well stocked. And maybe a glass of red when the writing is done.

Pick a top-name NY Times bestselling writer and, chances are, you know their genre. Even if you don’t know the exact genre they are bucketed in, you know what to expect. Stephen King? We can guess what will be lurking in his books. Nicholas Sparks, someone is going to die and break your heart. Sophie Kinsella, fun rom-coms about falling in love. John Grisham, there will be a lawsuit and someone wrongly accused. Elin Hildebrand, romance beach reads set in my home state of Massachusetts. James Patterson, yup.

But . . . what about when you jump genres with your novels? Or, when your book doesn’t fit squarely in a one genre — which genre swim lane do you go with?

Part of being an author is building a brand. This is what the authors above have all done so well. You read a book, love it, and want more . . . of the same. Not the same story, obviously, and these writers deliver on writing enough books to keep us busy reading, but we know what we want to read and we will select an author based on previous books and wanting that same type of book journey. Brand is building expectations, incorporating the genre, story lines, personality, character-building worlds, and all the things that give us the reading experience we are seeking.

Brand goes beyond the book to your website, your social posts, your biography and book source profiles. Your personal brand as an author is linked to how you are discovered as an author, and how you find new readers of your work when they are searching books and categories or making a decision if they want to take a chance with a new or unknown author.

So, what happens when you cross genres? There are some who have done a a phenomenal job of that. Take Diana Gabaldon — she crossed what could have been just a romance (and I use the word “just” lightly here), with science fiction and history to present the Outlander series. This has been successful not only with the science fiction time travel aficionados who wouldn’t care about romance, to romance readers that wouldn’t pick up a science fiction book. And, you get some Scottish history at the same time.

The challenge for many writers starting out is deciding what to do when you write in different genres, or mix genres in one book. Personally, I write romance. My first novel, The Dating Intervention, was a contemporary romance but could also be considered women’s fiction with a strong story line of friendships after a divorce and different perspectives helping with that process. I had humor and heartbreak in one book because I felt like it was more real. But what catagory to push for my brand? I wasn’t quite sure. My second novel was a paranormal romance called Cursed. This was easier because I had the sub catagory of paranormal with witchcraft in the storyline, but it also included reincarnation.

My third novel . . . now that is my challenge and I could use some help. Its more of a Nicholas Sparks tragedy love story, but with a more romance-bent ending, and a ghost/spirit. (Think Clarence in Its a Wonderful Life — not haunting ghosts or romance novel fallen angels or angels as a main character) So, how do you take a contemporary love story romance with that extra element and slip it into a genre when it doesn’t neatly check a box? What brand to use? How to promote and not disappoint the reader? The other issue is knowing which agent to query since they require you to query based on genre. And you do NOT want to get that wrong.

I have had three beta readers so far. All gave fantastic feedback about loving the book but one said if it had been pegged as paranormal she would have declined but loved that element as it was introduced. The elements need to blend seamlessly to make it accepted. So, leave as a surprise? Raise to the higher genre and not mention or get more specific and go with a sub genre. The struggle to pick the right genre is real for many authors and I need to pick one soon because I expect it back from the proofreader this weekend!

How many other authors have had this challenge?

Pick a genre, any genre…

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[image error]It’s Saturday morning. And, as I typically do while the house is asleep, I drink coffee on the couch with my springer spaniel, Fenway, on his end and me on mine . . . and surf.  I start on Facebook, maybe jump to LinkedIn or Twitter, check my Etsy page, maybe take a look at other artists work and think about paintings I’d like to do if I had the time, update my art website or my mother’s real estate website . . . and then just surf around.  I find I get a lot of creative ideas during this time.

This morning during my quiet creative thought stream time, I went looking for a work in process (WIP) that I had . . . and I came across another, older WIP that I had almost forgotten about.  Why? I think it was an idea I might have had one Saturday morning and just started writing, then filed and never opened it again.  Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately?) I get ideas that I want to pursue on Saturday mornings and am not always able to follow through.  Other times I go in search of one of these ideas . . . and get sidetracked with another.

Violet.

Violet was started, according to my file date, a few years ago.  I started reading the first paragraph and actually wondered, “did I write this?” It was such a fun feeling reading and enjoying the intro of the characters and wishing, when it ended, that I had written more.  I remembered the second scene more clearly as I read, and knew it was setting up something very clever that I had already figured out when I started writing the story . . . but its only fuzzy right now.  It will come back, I’m sure, and I have a feeling when it does I will pick this story up again. The problem is, I don’t remember now what I was originally looking for this morning.  Oh well.

I invite you to read the first 2,000 words . . . I’d love to hear if you think I should continue. Or if you ever find your own work and read it like it’s something new.

We all want to know the secret, as we hear cries from the next room of “what’s for dinner?” Or take a quick break and pass the unavoidable pile of laundry that seems to be multiplying in the baskets like rabbits in the spring.  We can find blogs that offer top five tips for family balance or three smart strategies to become an author and keep balance at home . . . but the secret is . . . there will not be balance.

Sure, we tell ourselves we can set aside time, but we know it doesn’t just turn on and off that easily.  We feel that our spouse is being supportive — and hopefully they are — but it doesn’t mean that they like the limited time for each other in today’s busy life being reduced and funneled into your laptop.  Or, you might say you’re going to take a weekend and really crank things out so it doesn’t interfere with the real life of running the house, or your full time job, or dealing with soccer games and hockey practice or homework time . . . but when do you really have a weekend you can carve out for yourself?

No, the answer really is this is not a 50/50 balancing act.  This is not finding that perfect in-the-air-balance on a seesaw with a friend, and there are going to be some cries for your attention.  And what are you going to do?  Pick your battles.  Yes, I am being brutally honest here — pick your battles, and pick them well.  If you are on a roll or in a complex scene in your book when you hear the call for food from one of your offspring . . . hell, leftovers work.  Or breakfast for dinner is always a hit.  If you are are knee deep in closing a big chapter and you’re working out a kink in the plot when your wife reminds you the grass needs cutting — guess what, well, okay maybe walking away here might help and it will all make sense after the lawn is cleaned up.  But if not – then plow through that plot kink and cut the grass tomorrow.

I was working full time when I was writing my first two novels.  I would write on weekends, or after the kids went to bed, but sometimes I’d have an idea during the day and I would come in the door, drop my coat and go write.  Dinner might have be pizza those nights.  There were also long periods I was too busy, not in the mood, or had hit a wall where I didn’t write and those times I was as present as possible with my kids and explained so they understood the ebbs and flows of writing.  We all fell into a happy, healthy, rhythm of no rhythm!

Now, if your family starts surviving on cereal or your house takes on that overgrown and abandoned look then you’ve gone too far.  The important thing is to be upfront with your family.  Do not promise nothing is going to change – be honest with yourself and know that it will.   Balance is a range – it not taking on something as massive as writing a book without having a few disruptions or blips along the way.  The important thing to remember is to not beat yourself up if a few things slip. The creative process is not always an easy thing to harness, therefore, you may not be able to control your time as you predict.  Acknowledge it – and your family – and just do the best you can to finish your book!