J. Wesley's Blog

There comes a point where the person that you've been propping up stops feeling like the one that you want to be. It’s hard to notice at first. An underlying tension, a gut feeling. A sense that something inside you wants to come out and thrive. Your body usually knows long before you do. 

People often think that when this happens, they need to tear themselves apart to grow. Completely break down your life and reboot with a whole new identity, facing every shadow at once. Rewrite everything they believe in one fell swoop. That’s not how real change works. That's an identity crisis. There are infinite versions of you, too many to spend your life trying to be an identity architect.  

There's a version of you that keeps scrolling, and there's a version of you that is intrigued with exploring your potential. 

Real change happens in every moment that you stop holding yourself in the life you’ve outgrown. It’s the moment you take a new step and let your nervous system breathe for the first time in a while. The moment you stop making excuses for not following your instincts and actually tune in to and validate what they’re saying.

Sometimes the realization feels like a still moment where you feel the clarity of your purpose. Sometimes it’s a JOLT that the version of you that's been wandering around isn’t the one that you want to be. Either way, when it hits, you can feel the message in the core of your being. 

That’s the kind of evolution I help people step into.

Not through pressure. Not through performance. Not through rigid structures or emotional upheavals. Through intentional creation. Through authentic presence. Through breath. Through awareness. Through learning to trust the intelligence you’ve been taught to ignore.

When people tap into this, they start moving differently, thinking differently. There’s a new sense of stability. A new kind of inspiration. A confidence that doesn’t need hype or anyone's approval to keep going. Life becomes less about focusing on what's going wrong or escaping reality and more about creating and enjoying your life. 

You don’t need to be an expert in healing to get there. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You don't even need to have your end goal figured out. You just need the will to step towards the version of you that’s been behind a wall of fear.

Who you are doesn't have to be defined by the past or your reputation. There’s a self that’s already evolving; a clearer one, a bolder one, an open-minded one. A YOU that thrives in intentional action instead of reaction. A YOU that knows you're capable of building the world you actually want to live in. That's the version of you that is waking up right now.

If you’re feeling like you want to become that version, you’re already halfway there.

Most people don't want to change, change can look scary. But at its core, change is EXCITING! How do you want to see it? We don't truly fear the unknown, we fear the past that we place into the future because it's familiar. Your future is as exciting or scary as you choose. 

There's a version of you that sees this message and keeps scrolling, and there's a version of you that sees this message and reaches out. Out of curiosity, out of inspiration, out of the drive to connect with someone who's invested in your evolution. Someone who sees what you’re becoming, who will walk with you, challenge you, understand your growth, celebrate your breakthroughs, and recognize the future you’re stepping into...

If you resonate with this, send me a message or book a journey and let's see how we can grow together. I'm excited to meet you and celebrate your growth!

What we see in the world, isn't always as it is. We see based on where we are. We see the frequency that we are attuned to and at the level of understanding that we have come to in our knowledge. It's so easy to see an occurrence and be completely caught up in the surface level idea while completely missing what's truly going on, on all levels, on a deeper level. We create these patterns of thought, internal felt "facts" for ourselves based on the impressions that we perceive from what we have ultimately been externally influenced by. We see a video of someone "breaking something down" to a simple, understandable "truth" and easily fall victim to a reductive mind view. We make one observation, and think that because it makes sense in one level, it must make sense further. This limitation is one of the trickiest as it is the basis for the foundation of all of our knowledge. 

This also applies to characteristics that we attribute to ourselves. We tell ourselves that we're we're sensitive in certain ways, prone to certain things. We can build a whole identity around our own self-imposed limitations. We can hear tips and advice from other people, Make our own unique observations, and build a wall of limitations around an entire aspect of our life without even meaning to. Then when anything occurs on the other side of that wall, since we've already got our minds made up, we can't see past our own limitation that we've made. Everything on the other side of that wall has an unconscious prejudice. 

When our minds are made up about something and we've reached a conclusion, it squelches our inner curiosity. We've already attributed a label to something, so there's no purpose being inquisitive about any unique situation that we don't see as unique. Truly, every situation can be treated as unique. Although patterns are visible, no two things ever happen the same. 

An important practice for exercising self-realization, is being a sovereign observer; treating every moment, honoring the present, every now, as a completely unique phenomena, a universe of its own.  Understanding that you have a key role in how you choose to interpret every waking moment in your life is a game changer. 

Our comfortable routines and preferences of the readily available, first-world luxuries in the modern age can make great examples of how we are so susceptible to a perceived baseline or a pattern of "normal" that, when disturbed, throws us for a loop of discomfort or even nervous system dysregulation. The technologies of today come with a myriad of unconscious labels that we perceive as the norm, when in fact, they've quite literally only existed for a few decades. 

The labels we put on things change rapidly with group consensus, yet we often don't choose to change them for ourselves. We don't question the simple reduction that we've heard because it's such a convenient truth to us. 

There are many reasons why we choose to not think for ourselves in every way. Fear of the unknown, fear of being wrong, fear of being an outsider to group consensus... Mainly, it's just not as convenient. It's a complex world out there, and it takes a lot of time to blaze every trailer yourself. While it saves a lot of time and effort to use the information and knowledge that humans have figured out, it's just as important to keep that devil’s advocate on your shoulder and question everything. 

Habituating questioning impactful thoughts, feelings, or a fact just for kicks is a powerful way to evolve your own sovereign, conscious observation skills. Question everything, especially yourself! Our minds are constantly prioritizing what we seem as most important, tucking many unrealized beliefs away easily into the archives of our mind just to function on a day-to-day basis. It makes up the baseline state of our consciousness, becomes our norm, and we quickly don't understand how anyone else doesn't see it that way when we don't even truly know why we see it that way. We haven't looked at all of our convenient truths to find a deeper truth.

At the core, evolving our personalized realizations of truth are a key to shaping our reality with intention and ultimately our cognitive freedom. Remember that the outer world appears differently to everyone based on our inner projections. 

"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds!" - Marcus Garvey

Social dynamics in regard to strangers and people well outside of our circle of friends and family are inarguably based on both parties' inner perspectives. Alignments and misalignments are perceived as accented and exaggerated.

When we see someone openly presenting an expression, attitude, thought, stylistic choice, or opinion that contrasts what we perceive as acceptable for ourselves we will often be subject to some sort of inner judgement. We may even experience confusion which aligns with the fear of the unknown in a disconnected, diminutive sense of “What’s up with him?”.

Actively seeing external relationships on the basis of universal, unconditional Love allows us to preemptively focus our awareness on the reality of the individual’s deserved respect, freedom to express themselves, highlights their unique journey and struggle and tempers our ego and self-importance by actualizing the distanced nature of their relation to us.

Exerpt from Love Over Fear: A Foundation for Autonomy

Relationships with friends, co-workers, and extended family are typically easier to navigate. We have more space between us usually and with this comes natural boundaries that stem from inherited societal and familial standards. It is much easier to keep a friend or co-worker at a distance when it comes down to internal struggles, biases, or differences that appear in our lives.

In these relationships, we have the ability to selectively assert what pieces of ourselves we want to put out there to share our vulnerabilities and what we can keep to ourselves and our inner circles. Our subjective values and things we Love can be synergistic with these friends in which we typically bond over but we aren't dependent on as many of them being in alignment as we are in our significant relationships.

Our fears that we choose to share as well may differ greatly in which we unconsciously exhibit a more gracious understanding of their individuality and unique journey and in turn provide them with a deeper level of freedom than the standards that we hold for our significant others in close relationships to.

Excerpt from, Love Over Fear: A Foundation for Autonomy

Aspects of relationship dynamics with our parents, guardians, close siblings and significant others are often very synchronistic. We often unconsciously find ourselves in relationships with people who, as we get to know them on a deeper level, have many similar traits with one or more of our influential caretakers. This is a phenomenon that has been fascinating psychologists for years, historically notably to Freud’s contributions to psychology. These relationships are our closest and most intimate social relationships and because of the deep intermingling of our energies, we will always witness each other's true selves sooner or later.

We can’t fake our way through decades of close friendship, a marriage, years nor years of raising a child. This is a deep level of connection that naturally comes with the opportunity for illuminating visible reflections of our own personality, behavioral patterns, biases, and aspects of our character. Projections of the self towards the other in the relationship are also illuminated, as often our caretakers, siblings, and significant others project their fears onto us as we do to them.

These deep relationships affect and shape each other’s perspective on what they Love and value as well as shared fears in a symbiotic manner. This can be seen especially in regard to the parent-to-child relationship dynamic, as we shape our children's basic understanding of reality, they mainly reflect characteristics of ourselves back to us.

We are often one and the same with our romantic partners, we share a living space, we share an energetic connection. What happens to us, happens to them. When we give and receive Love to ourselves, in turn, we are loving them. Just as we need to identify our needs in ourselves, we need to be able to identify the needs of our significant others. It's not always easy to identify our own needs as well as for our significant others.

Creating moments in time where you ask your partner what they may need from you opens the door to allow them to have an opportunity to observe themselves, identify what they may need, and let you know. 

Excerpt from, “Love Over Fear: A Foundation for Autonomy”

Deep natural companion relationships are based on the reciprocity of witnessing each other. Our base level of witnessing is our consciousness witnessing our mind and body’s experience, understanding what we process and see as and after events occur. The second level of witnessing is our significant others, our chosen partnered souls as well as our caretakers, guardians or parents and close siblings. The third level of witnessing is our peers, extended family, and our friends; how they witness us and see us go through life. The fourth level is subject to our interpretation; our perceived understanding of how strangers appear to receive and respond to us from what we can objectively observe and identify, without our mind and fears running away with it as that would bring us back to the first level. 

Self-Witnessing

We play an active role in our relationship with self. We have a knowledge of ourselves that is undoubtedly deeper and more intimate than anyone else can have with us. This is another of our great strengths and weaknesses as no one can lie to us quite as effectively as we can lie to ourselves. No matter how much of every detail of your thoughts, history, dreams, and goals you share with another, there is always more to us as we are infinite beings.

Self-witnessing differs from self-reflecting on the basis that self-reflecting involves connotations of history, decisions, and is within our perspective which typically includes the dichotomy of what's right or wrong, whereas self-witnessing is an impartial, active role of the observation of self in the now. Between stages of self-witnessing and self-reflecting there is the necessity of an active belief system. If there is none, the connection will be direct, solely reliant on intuition based on underlying inherited beliefs. Without a firm, self-actualized belief system the self is relatively feral in regard to internal and external influences in which the illusive perspective of the absence of Love is prone to taking over the narrative.

The relationship with self is the most important as it is the base link in the social chain. If Love is not constantly flowing in the relationship with self, Love given down to the other links is limited and conditional. We cannot give infinite amounts of Love when our first link of Love is broken. We may still be able to give Love, but it cannot come back, cannot be accepted back if we have closed off our link from cycling our Love back into our self. We will desperately try to seek out validation, attention, and Love from others in efforts to fill the void that is ultimately not giving and receiving Love to and from ourselves.

Excerpt from, “Love Over Fear: A Foundation for Autonomy”

In times of feeling like it's so hard to reach many, I have to keep focus on where I have reached by doing what I do. In the end the numbers of views and followers mean nothing, but the effects ripple out into the universe. A little inspiration can go a long way. In creating in-depth material that’s competing with the infinite content online that caters to escapism, self-importance, and dopamine addiction, it can feel challenging to reach someone on a deep level. With low views, low engagement, it's overwhelming at times to keep investing time and energy creating positive Love-based inspiration. It’s comments like this that show me there IS a point to all this. 

"This feels like the gentle nudge I needed to choose love over fear today."

I'll never know what was going on in this person's life. I'll never know who felt the same thing and never dropped a like or a comment. I'll never know how any of these ripple effects play out that will come from the love-based inspiration that I share. That's all a part of the mystery. 

I'm so grateful for this little clue, this one piece of feedback that shows a positive impact. I know what I'm doing is such an important part of this chapter of pursuing my higher purpose. I've had to overcome and am still constantly working to be open to being vulnerable, which is a requirement for putting this content out into the collective. 

For me, this is a big part of my journey. I've had a majorly recurring theme of self-expression along all of my major pursuits in life: learning about myself and expressing it, as well as helping others do the same. 

It's hard to step away from this role, even for a moment. The ongoing call of a world in need of Love is a hard thing to let go of. Who am I to feel drawn to answering that call? I'm just like anyone else, and like everyone else, I'm like no one else. I don't see the messenger as important, whether it's myself or another. The importance lies in the message. 

Behind the scenes of Love Over Fear, Love, Healing & Expansion, my blogs, my music, is an unseen and incommunicable amount of inner work, brainstorming, research, strategy, letting go, frustration, and overwhelm. Every day comes well-equipped with new opportunities to overcome a new flavor of struggle. Where to put the time, the energy, the Love, the persistence, may always be a tough decision to make at times. Sometimes it flows easy and everything falls into place, and other times no answer feels quite right and it's all overwhelming. 

I've always taken long shots. If you know me, you've probably seen that. Becoming a tattoo artist at a young age deeply investing in others' self-expression, developing my musicianship with unique styles of music and meaningful messages, creating a collaborative independent music magazine, creating my own businesses from scratch over the years; I've never been attracted to anything that has been easily attained. I'm so grateful for all the mistakes I've made that have gotten me to this point, and I'm grateful for all the future mistakes that I will make that will further my evolution. 

For me, today is a struggle of the balance between releasing what I truly feel is my path, and taking intentional action on following what truly IS my path. It's not as expected, and never is. There's always a multitude of choices to make every day that will inevitably shape tomorrow and the future. Expression and communication is the driving force that is at the forefront of my aspirations to further consciousness expanding growth for myself and others. 

I'm still finding my "place" in the world and always will be as my nomadic spirit will never feel at home in one "place". The ever-flowing changes will always bring new obstacles that will shake the foundation of it all and detachment from control always brings a challenge. 

My goal is to bring people like you to a place where you can see yourself as the beautiful part of Love that you are. To illuminate the darkest of the dark, revealing that there too is Love wrapped in a disguise that's been fooling us all. I hope to be on to something with this path that I'm on but I am willing to do whatever is in my highest good. 

It's difficult to find the balance in all the areas where we need to be gentle on ourselves and hard on ourselves. Inspiration ebbs and flows, and is the precursor to motivation in an abundance mindset. The truth is this work is what inspires me, and is my fuel for motivation. 

Of all of life's discomforts that have taken a toll on me, the one that has always taken the biggest toll is not creating. Not to pursue immortality through creation, material wealth, or fame, but in my own personal development and the pursuit of my purpose. 

When I feel like I'm on the cusp of greatness, I find it incredibly difficult to pursue the menial tasks that keep everything flowing smoothly underneath the surface. Investing our "all" into something requires an allocation of our energetic and physical resources. My main mantra throughout the year has been, "I am worthy of Love and abundance", and I've worked hard to give everything and everyone in my life all that I have to give. I've been keen to invest into everything I do with thoughtful intention, honoring the abundant flow of energetic and physical resources that I am so blessed to have. 

I'm currently still just beginning my ascent up the mountain that is being a self-published, independent author, and everything that comes with it. Physical copies of "Love Over Fear: A Foundation for Autonomy" are arriving in about a week and will be on route to many people this month. I've sunk more mind, body, heart, and soul into this project than any project behind me which has brought me to this inevitable point of weariness which I'm sure I share with many authors. With the prominent theme of autonomy, it's no surprise that this is a fully self-funded endeavor in every way which has given me the opportunity to make the mistake of completely draining myself into investing my all into the strategy of promoting and taking massive risks in the spirit of Love Over Fear. There's no outcome that I'm afraid of and the Love that has gone into this project is an amazing foundation for it. I know how valuable this piece of literature is in the modern world and am glad to have done the work, and glad to continue the work while furthering my evolution of balance within my own energies to prevent further burnout. 

In my writings, I focus on many layers of existence, psychology, philosophy, and perception that it doesn't align with having the space for 'me' in it; it doesn't focus or talk about me whatsoever. Some people enjoy the methods of storytelling, but in this vein of writing, the matter at hand has dominated the narrative over my own personal journey so today I am happy to paint with a different color in this piece of writing that includes my own personal experience and I hope to create opportunities to do it more.

Thanks for reading to those who have taken the time. I would be overjoyed to hear feedback in regard to my writings and especially Love Over Fear from you, whether in a comment or private messaging. 

Peace & Love,

J. Wesley

If we aren’t our past, our thoughts, our actions, who are we? We typically have a good idea of who we were, but we often put that identity on ourselves in the present moment, giving us a false sense of identity. We often rely on past challenges, victories, credentials, mistakes, traumatic events, experiences, and our skill-sets to give us a sense of comfort of who we are. However, the present moment changes that. While all these things influence us, our identities are endorsed and chained to them by choice; reinforcing a redundant sense of self and even limitations for ourselves. We have this reputation within ourselves to uphold based on past events.

This is where we can learn from the beauty of the birth and death cycle. On a macro-scale, we can visualize our birth; the fresh start of life as a new being with infinite potential. We understand that our time here on earth will come to an end and who we are will inevitably turn into who we once were.

Next, we can look at our lives, the different selves that we have been, that we will be. We can understand that in the different phases of life, we have been inherently shaped by our environments and by our inner atmosphere of our creative force. We can see how whether we like it or not, the self that we were, and are, will not remain. We are ever-evolving beings. Different phases of our lives have had birth and death cycles and will continue to.

Continuing down this line, our years have an observable birth and death cycle with the changing of the seasons. Nature teaches us every Spring; breathing new life into the world around us. The weather show us the necessary dynamics for the constant moving energies of the universe and ourselves; as above, so below.

The moon demonstrates its own 28-day cycle of life and death, affecting our vibrations, tides, and many aspects of nature, simultaneously along with all the other coexisting cycles happening around us. Each day has a life and death cycle, the sun gives life-force to every living thing on the planet in one way of another, and disappears into the night. With this cycle, we explore our own experience of the birth and death cycle with our innate daily rituals of our letting go of our baseline state of consciousness entirely, experiencing the phenomena of different dimensions within our dreaming consciousness. The next morning, we are inevitably endowed with new experiences whether we are aware of them consciously, or not.

On the micro-scale, every breath is a symbol of our birth and death. We breathe in life-force, and release life-force. Our breath is the main catalyst between life and death. It also demonstrates active participation; our natural ability to release control, with the voluntary aspect of engaging control. We can’t stop ourselves from breathing entirely, and at the same time, we can control how we choose to breathe when we focus our attention on it. We are alive, and we also are the active participants of how we live. We have a sense of identity and a sense of self; it evolves whether we are actively guiding it or passively unaware of its changes.

Our identity comes and goes, and our self is ever-changing. We mold our identity like clay and the longer it remains in the same configuration, the harder it is to reshape it. As the creators of our own identity, we shape it from nothingness, and in order to reshape it consciously, we need to be open to it being nothingness once again first. Surrendering to the flow is being open, detached from that identity as a rigid formation. Allowing it to be malleable for our higher purpose, the divine will, beyond what we can imagine for ourselves. We often consciously imagine what our higher self or best self could of should be, and it is powerful to let go of even our greatest hopes and dreams, to let nature take its course. What will be, will be, and it will be perfect. While it’s powerful to have a sense of self, motivations, hopes, and dreams, it’s also powerful to let them go and trust the flow; “for my highest good or better”.

Are you grateful for your trauma?

Growth only comes from struggle. Every time you talk about being the way you are because of your trauma, you’re reinforcing the walls of the prison of your mind. After any traumatic event comes one of two choices, growth or protection. Love or fear. You’re inevitably going to keep evolving, growing, in some direction, and it’s up to you which direction that is.

First off, your experiences need to be validated, most importantly validated by you and it can be extremely helpful to move through trauma with a safe third party like a therapist, counselor, or trusted friend. When we crave endless external validation for our traumas, that’s another trauma response that can inhibit validating ourselves as we are reliant on an unstable source of validation. Your experience being invalidated can be a traumatic event in itself. In the end, it matters more that you’ve validated your experience than someone else. What matters is that you know at your core, it wasn’t your fault, and your experience was legitimate. Don’t solely depend on others to validate your trauma. You come first. Sink into those feelings of the past and remind yourself of the present moment, breathe deep and tell yourself that you are safe. See yourself leaving the past where it is, and realize where it isn’t, which is the present moment.

You can view your traumas as this thing that’s created an energetic disability in your persona that needs to be constantly coddled, or can choose to frame them as a massive hurdle that you were thrown over, and got an experience you would have never had on your own, saw a vantage point flying over that hurdle you would have never seen without that event… and now it’s the beginning of your superpower. Now you’ve got an experience.

Next it’s time to flex those muscles of observation and gain some insight. Look deeper. Look below the surface. What are the underlying factors for why this happened?

Now look at all the insight you’ve accumulated, and choose how you want this to play out by choosing what you want to see, what you want to focus on. There are all sorts of truths, what makes all the difference is which truth you choose to fight for.

And finally it’s enough thinking, start doing. You don’t need to mull your shit over and over. Let shit it go, and then actually LET the shit be gone. We can overthink our traumas for the rest of our lives and we will only suffer more. Ya gotta let that pile of shit turn into compost and let some beauty grow from it. Now you have the experience to help, teach, and inspire others going through similar things. There’s something we can be grateful for, and the people you psych up will be grateful, all this gratitude, hope, and growth coming from… your trauma!

That traumatic thing that happened to you is over. Don’t let it affect your present moment. The present moment is all you’ll ever have. You are only free from your trauma when you make the effort to stop letting yourself slow you down.

If your reality is only what you think of as truth, then who is controlling what you think? Who is controlling your reality? What truths do you have in your reality, that YOU yourself are responsible for? Is there anything in your version of reality that differs from what others believe as reality?

We now live in a world where group consensus is literally on board with unidentified aerial phenomena. Nowadays, they’re discussing in congress what was only found in discredited fringe media. If your reality depends on the truths agreed upon in group consensus, then your reality is made for you, and will be changed for you. You are following a path led by societal acceptance and no one is paying attention to where it’s going. The blind leading the blind.

I wish for everyone to be able to experience true, unmistakable phenomenon. It must be one of the most powerful things to witness. Something you can’t label. Something you don’t know. Something that’s real but outside of what others deem ‘real’. It can be alienating, divisive. It should instill a blistering hit to our self-importance, our obsession with having a theory for everything, like the universe is just so simple, we can explain it all. There’s even a theory called, “The Theory of Everything”. How egoic of us to rush to seek such a conclusion; to be so fearful of the unknown and so proud of what we think we know. We never find truths. We find synchronicities, repeatable patterns. We find repeatable patterns and out come the numbers and statistics. We reduce a phenomenon in nature to these numbers of repeatable synchronicities and tally up our work to claim our reward for knowledge. We find a pattern and pride ourselves with the feats of our discoveries. We become so engorged with the fruits of our labor that is ultimately a stepping stone, we forget about the path ahead. We then draw conclusion after conclusion based on that pattern, and now the stepping stone towards furthering truth is nothing but a tiny island. No path in sight. No one can see anything but the reductive data.

This comes down to the superhuman ability to imagine the unimaginable. No other creature on this planet can do it like we can. Whether it’s from tapping into imaginations, the collective conscious, entities from other dimensions, we succeed at amazing feats of progress. We find useful synchronicities for furthering our evolution of knowledge. These acts are pure inspiration-fuel for imagining a farther reaching aspect of arcanature, not just applied data to the reductive ideas that are what we call nature. We will always have our trusty fundamental data, but it has always limited our potential. It always creates tunnel vision on what we consider “real”. Unknown things are proven to be real day after day, month after month. Yet we stifle our imaginations and treat them as playthings, like its value lies in nonsensical inquiries and fantasy entertainment. Creativity resides in the imagination. No science would be done, no inventions would be done, no engineering would be done without imagination first. Creativity is the essence of all of our beings and we are drowning in a world that loves the systems of redundancy and statistics. We crave difference; sporadicity, and get assaulted with repeat advertisement after advertisement, refined fact after fact, and stat after stat. Until even what we see being created around us seems binary; a ripoff of a ripoff, unoriginal, unimaginative.

Hobbies and creative efforts are more and more closely tied to the dwindling quality of life, inflation, rising costs, and reflecting a desperation for income. Every nook and cranny of supply and demand is infinitely fulling up. Now people don’t even focus on selling anything, they focus on selling to the person who is selling. Before you know it we’ll be coaching the coaches who coach other coaches on coaching coaches… Barf.

The divide of our unimaginative selves hits us all hard, because it further reinforces the limitations of what’s possible. The unknown will keep on becoming known, maybe slowly, maybe quickly, but it will keep on pouring in infinitely, as there is no end to knowledge. Only if we can detach our thought processes from the arbitrary collective norms of the modern world can we blow the roof off the houses that are our minds and reach into ourselves, pulling out the most beautiful, creative originality. I’ve come to terms and am still coming to terms with the ostracization of having a different opinion, it's an ongoing endeavor, like any lesson in life. Individuation is the goal here, not fitting in. No one lies on their deathbed in comfort of having thought like, been like, acted like everyone else. They see all the potential they didn’t see when they were younger. They see the ruts that they found themselves stuck in. They see where they did exactly what everyone else did and where they believed what everyone else did. If we all believed the same thing, and had the same perceived limits on our realities, the world would be an agonizingly boring place.

Your reality is like no one else's and you are the only one who can truly observe YOUR reality. Have some fun with it. Get messy, go wild, loosen up here, tighten up there, find what you LOVE and give it everything that you've got. Let your dreams out of the cage. Dream up something that maybe you didn't even mean to dream up. One step at a time, create a reality that you want to be a part of.