Penelope Guinn's Blog
November 16, 2025
COVER REVEAL!!!
If you know anything about me (especially from AO3), I love to put an idea out there and yeet. More than once I have found myself on both sides between an idea and 5k words of a oneshot or first chapter of a fic within hours. But when I decided I wanted to publish my debut romance novel—after about a day or two of looking at the process—I realized that I couldn’t just throw it up and make it available. There are obvious reasons: financial, logistical, artistic. Even with that in mind, it was a struggle to not talk about it, to not scream it from the rooftops.
I had unfortunately learned no lessons from my years of writing first and asking questions of how I would finish it later. That aspect of my gremlin brain taught me to write, to get myself out of a bind, how to succeed, how to fail. I’m grateful for it. But after the dust settled of making that decision to self-publish, I knew (and I hated, hated, hated it) that I needed to do this RIGHT. I needed to give this book a little more time to gain interest and an audience. I needed to make some decisions financially and think about the business (boo, hiss) of it all before I ended up in a different pickle too sour for me manage.
Anyway, here I am: adulting this book launch (please slow clap), and I’m really, really proud of what’s to come. I’m overwhelmed by this reveal, because it signifies the beginning of a dream I’ve had for longer than I was once willing to admit. It’s a celebration of endless hours of writing, editing, and telling myself that I could do this. That this would be the first, that there were MORE books and more love stories to come.
It also, appropriately, gets to be a celebration of friendship. Because yes, I wrote the book, but every step of the way, I had my village of friends at my side telling me: YES, YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN, IF ANYONE CAN, PEN—YOU CAN!!!
It was no different when I decided to self-publish. They expressed only excitement, immediately followed by: HOW CAN I HELP??
I can’t begin to express the difference it makes, to do this thing that can often exist in a vacuum. To be brought to life by the support of your partner and friends, to KNOW that you can do what you’re setting your mind to, because you have people that will reflect back to you what you need to hear when times are difficult. They see you and believe in you. Sometimes they see what I can’t.
When I decided to self-publish, my best friend Brooke (@whileIwaspainting on IG/TT) was one of the first people I told. Like others, she was eager to celebrate and quick to offer assistance. In my journey to figuring out my cover, she came up with a concept within an hour and sent it over. It made me smile, laugh, and even though I wasn’t sure it was the right fit, I couldn’t stop thinking about the concept the next day. She took the ideas I had for a color scheme from our previous chats and simplified those thoughts into something that made the premise for my novel clear and fun—and it’s really beautiful, y’all 😭
I’m so proud to present this early peek to the cover reveal before it hits my other social media. Thank you for subscribing and following along on this process with me! If you’d like to help spread the word, PLEASE retweet and share when you see the links on social media Monday, Nov. 17th. I look forward to sharing them on bsky, twt, IG, and TikTok tomorrow!
YOU CAN PRE-ORDER A FINE LINE NOW from Kobo, Amazon, and Barnes & Noble in ebook and paperback.(Paperback available from Amazon at release)
I’m so excited to share character art, pre-order incentives, and ARC giveaways in the coming months, so make sure you to keep following this space (I’ll still be posting any writerly thoughts on my mind here). But make sure to follow me on Instagram and TikTok as well for sneak peeks of A FINE LINE.
More to come!
Love,
Please create wholeheartedly.
My pups are beta, forgive any grammatical errors.
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November 3, 2025
Start the countdown... to the cover reveal
It has been exactly three weeks since I drafted anything, and I am going a little bit wonky. I feel I’m only another incident in November (guys, our washer is being weird, my car is being towed, AND one of the faucets in the bathroom stopped working—since Saturday) from needing to hammer out an unhinged oneshot of fic just to soothe my soul.
But alas, we keep moving and when I keep moving, it means sharing some fun news as well as commiserating with the tow truck driver about the weird month I’m having ALREADY! We are exactly TWO WEEKS from my cover reveal!
Ever heard of the three-touch rule? It’s this idea in advertising as well as other sales arenas (think retail experiences) where the goal is to first create curiosity, then anticipation, and ultimately a decision. So if you follow me in multiple places, YES, you’re going to see this messages multiple times (SORRY). If posting fic (and years of “starving artist/student” retail experience) has taught me anything, it’s that it’s difficult to get someone’s attention on that first interaction—and even the second or third. I am a shining example of this (as someone who tends to pre order later than most). It’s also easier to speak to an audience that’s ready for that information. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve finished posting a story, only for someone to come along and say they weren’t aware of its existence. It’s just how it goes. So get ready for promo. I want to continue to share writing insights and talk about what I’m working on, but the next few weeks will be introducing you to the characters and cover art of A FINE LINE :)
I will also be tempting you with pictures of my puppy Nelly—as requested by a reader.
Nelly’s aunt Kate, says: “a perfect, angel, baby who never did nothing wrong”
If you aren’t already subscribed here, make sure to do that. Newsletter subscribers will get the first (and maybe early) look at the cover and pre-order information.
Love,
Please create wholeheartedly.
My pups are beta, forgive any grammatical errors.
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October 27, 2025
'F' that DNF
Things are about to ramp up even harder in my world (oh god, I have to paint that KPOP Demonhunters graphic for my kiddo’s Halloween costume AGAIN because I used the wrong fabric paint and it dried and disappeared into the black fabric. NO REALLY—
Gif by firstwefeast on Giphy
But also, I’m hard at work on formatting and editing and getting my ducks in a row for my debut… anyone want a sneak peek at the first few lines of A FINE LINE??
A Fine Line by Penelope Guinn
😌😌😌😌
In addition to that, I’m trying to post more on social media, which… OKAY, I’m going to try and not complain about it so much. I love the interactions, but overall, I find it exhausting trying to predict what will and won’t have reach. I have to strike a balance to be able to find my readers, but it’s a little exhausting when I would like to look at the social media landscape and treat it like a rainy day (curl up under a blanket and IGNORE). So, okay, yes, I will probably complain about it—I’m sorry. (I have used the word ‘exhausting’ twice in this paragraph lol)
One thing that I do love to do is talk about writing and storytelling. It’s a goal I had for this newsletter as well as… ya know, news. So far, my plan has been writing when inspiration strikes, but I also know that sometimes writers may have more direct questions. So I basically want to open up the floor.
BUT FIRST, head to IG or TT. I’m talking a little bit about DNF (do not finish) books. I want to be more positive and don’t like to name names (authors work hard, guys). I definitely have things I’ve read that frustrated me to no end, and I take it to my DMs and text messages and chat with a trusted friend. The reality is that not everything is meant for US, and it’s important to recognize when it is or isn’t. In the last few years, I’ve noticed a change in how I DNF books. Sometimes there are factors that won’t allow me to continue: triggering content, too many negatives, etc.
In the case of content that I’m just not finding appealing, I’ve noticed that I learn a great deal by staying the course. For research. On occasion, I’m surprised by how often I come away with a new appreciation for the novel, even if I still know it’s not for me.
Have a DNF that you think you hang with to learn more about your writing?? Click below for things I do to get the most out of the experience!
Instagram post by @penguinnwrites
TikTok - Make Your Day
www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8DRnTV3
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Back to writing thoughts. I’ve created a little form, if you’re interested. Want to read about something more specific when it comes to writing? Let me know HERE.
Since this is a brief post this week, I don’t have my normal Recipe/Reads corner, but I did make one hell of a pot of chicken and dumplings last night. And I’m currently listening/reading: Sangu Mandanna’s A Witch’s Guide to Magical Inkeeping. BOTH made a dreary Sunday evening nice and cozy.
Hope everyone has a great week!
(counting down the days until I get to show you guys my COVER for Fine Line)
((Psst, less than a month))
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October 21, 2025
I wrote a book
I WROTE A MOTHERFUCKING BOOK! (millennial ‘lol’ for flavor)
Wait, first… a moment of silence for that Ben Solo news from yesterday (https://apnews.com/article/adam-driver-star-wars-soderbergh-jarmusch-4e08164d0419759f1b5b50d69864975d) Cool, cool, cool :: screams forever into the World Between Worlds ::
But seriously, if you’re not caught up, I wrote a book and queried it, got some solid feedback, felt good about the process, moved to file it away in my hard drive to not see the light of day and decided that it needs to see the light of day.
Why? Why not, honestly. I’m proud of it. It’s romantic and has lots of banter as foreplay (my fave) and is very much a love letter to my history with small towns—the good and the bad.
See, it was a TASK at times to write this story in the current political climate in the states. Things haven’t felt very hopeful for a while, so while I believed in the story and the characters, I struggled with editing and querying a story that exists in the current presidency. I mean, at least I planted it firmly in a small town where things are somewhat removed from the type of politics that exist on a national level, but there wasn’t much to celebrate as I reworked and tried to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was difficult to imagine two characters willingly involving themselves in the political landscape. (Turn off the West Wing theme and pack up, guys)
Here’s the blessed thing about local politics though. It does kind of exist in its own sphere. Candidates are not necessarily beholden to toe the line of certain party standards and are usually business owners, teachers, service workers, stay-at-home moms, etc. They’re often career citizens and not career politicians. They’re people that see a problem immediately affecting them and their neighbors and are inspired to make moves happen. It’s what drew me to writing the story in a small town to begin with as opposed to something on the national stage. I have lost a great deal of faith in national and sometimes state policies, but local politics… I still believe.
This doesn’t mean I don’t have a complicated relationship with small towns. I do. I don’t always find small town romances appealing for that reason. But I wanted to show one on the brink of change and the people that are going to make it happen.
I see the current mayoral race in NYC or other cities, and I get excited for the possibilities. There’s a line in this book that I think about often: “Hope, as an idea, is wonderful. Hope in practice is terrifying.”
Thinking about “hope” as a practice and not some vague, bubbly, Instagram-worthy idea is not exciting. It’s difficult; it disappoints. It comes with the casualty of loss and lessons that we’d like to unlearn.
It’s something that both of my characters have to navigate when it comes to their jobs and each other. I often struggle with practicing hope, but through these two characters, through the REAL people out there fighting and speaking up and making things happen, I’m inspired to keep seeking out a way to hone my practice. Okay, YES, there’s romance and spice and emotionality that I can only hope jumps off the page and grabs your attention.
What else will you find in my contemporary small town romance?
An unpolished, firecracker of an FMC (what if Leslie Knope had all drive and lacked experience)
A know-it-all MMC (okay, he does know some things) who loves to see the FMC get worked up (in more ways than one)
banter
rivals (to situationship) to lovers
small town
emotionally charged spice
one homage to that scene in Anne of Green Gables where she breaks the slate over his head
he falls first
two people finding the right path in their careers and to each other
A FINE LINE (by ME) will be available February 17, 2026 in paperback and ebook on Amazon, KOBO, Barnes & Noble, and iBooks. Pre-order links will go up with the cover reveal!
Looking forward to sharing more! Let the countdown begin <3
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October 15, 2025
Surveying the Landscape
Hello! Welcome new followers. I appreciate you seeing the post about “original romance writing Pen” and thinking, yes, I would like to know more.
Not long ago, I decided to take a chance on myself and write a novel and query it for traditional publishing. There’s a great deal that goes into that (writing the fucking book, multiple beta reads, editing, query letters, learning how to pitch your story, researching the publishing landscape, etc), and I’ve learned so much during that process. I didn’t have lofty expectations for my first novel, but I was really proud of what I did. In fact, that first rejection felt like a triumph, cementing my place—I did it. I did what I set out to do, and I was proud of how far I’d come.
I was fortunate to have the background I do in singing, a career that was made up of spinning your wheels with lots of ‘nos’ to get to the ‘yes’, so querying my first book felt eerily similar to that process. I did my best to avoid watching my inbox, instead drafting another project that I’m now editing for querying. I won’t say that I wasn’t bummed out for every thoughtful rejection—those were often the hardest to stomach, even if it was positive. (Nothing hurts more than: “I wanted to take more time to consider your work, but ultimately felt it wouldn’t stand out in the market.”)
“Business Pen” had to come to the inbox and read those over, because ultimately, I don’t want someone that doesn’t feel equipped to sell my story, and I needed that reminder. But it stings all the same. Overall, I felt like it was a good experience, and I received promising feedback, but I knew it was time to move on to the next thing. Agents tend to have a sixth sense about whether you’re scraping the barrel and just querying ANYONE to see if something sticks, and I didn’t want to be that person. I wanted to gratefully and enthusiastically move on.
Enter my next project and the one I plan to query next. I can’t really discuss it yet, but it’s a potential series. I’m so excited about it, I’m decided to write the other two books, whether it gets picked up by an agent or not—which got me thinking. If I’m so determined to see that series through, going as far as to self-publish, why wouldn’t I do the same for my first book? A book that I’m really proud of and love dearly. Otherwise, my story about two rivals who fall for each other in the midst of a small town mayoral campaign would be doomed to sit on my hard drive forever.
Instagram post by @penguinnwrites
To be honest, there were a few things holding me back from self-publishing at one point. I wanted to try my hand at traditional publishing (still do) and do what I considered to be the “hard thing”, oblivious to how hard it is to become an indie author. But also, the belief for many, many years was that it was difficult to become a traditionally published author after having self-published. If you read romance or fantasy, you know this isn’t the case and hasn’t been for some time. In fact, self-publishing tends to dominate the romance space. There’s additional support and influencers that frequently champion indie works. It’s a different self-publishing world than it was two, five, and ten years ago.
No matter where I end up, I love writing. I love sharing stories, and I love transporting readers in a medium that has been a comfort and savior ever since reading my first book.
First stop, indie publishing. Next, who knows? But there will be more stories and more books.
Stay tuned. I have a cover reveal and summary reveal and so much more to share! I’m really excited to start talking about this book I wrote that’s a love letter to my small town origins and southern roots. What to expect? Banter, romance, a rivalry with benefits, and emotionally charged spice.
You can subscribe here to stay updated, follow on IG, or (for better or worse lol) on TikTok. Here’s a little social media roundup from the past few weeks—as well as a tease of the book’s title 👀
Instagram post by @penguinnwrites
Instagram post by @penguinnwrites
In addition to my normal read and recipe rec, here are a few movies and fall books I enjoy revisiting! <3
Recent Recipes:Instagram post by @penguinnwrites
We recently went to visit family in Kentucky, and it’s a given that when we arrive, it will be to multiple baked goods ready for consumption. This time was no exception, and we enjoyed Bourbon Butter cake, rosemary cheese biscuits, and olive bread. But one of my favorites was the filling Cowboy Cookies. Not only crisp and gooey, but filing enough to hold me over until we could stop for breakfast on our way home Sunday.
Photo from thekitchn.com
Recent Reads:Hemlock & Silver by T. Kingfisher
Is this the second T. Kingfisher book I’ve recommended? Yes. Will I recommend more? Probably.
Do I care? No.
But seriously, I’ve fallen in love with Kingfisher’s storytelling, her strong and relatable FMCs, and the sweet, often doting MMCs who come along and fall for them. Is it a romance? Nope. But there is a sweet little romance subplot. H&S is the story of Healer Anja, a brainy student of poisons who is called upon by the king to try and cure his daughter, Snow.
Once she’s at the home of the princess, Anja discovers that there’s more at play than poison.
— fantasy, Snow White retelling w a small romantic subplot, poison, Healer protagonist, creepy mirrors, and Kingfisher’s lovely world building
Love,
Please create wholeheartedly.
My pups are beta, forgive any grammatical errors.
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September 3, 2025
You're the most important thing you bring to the table
If you’ve read anything I’ve written before—oh, hi, if you haven’t and this is your introduction to me somehow??—you can guess that I love food and cooking. I’m fascinated by recipes, nostalgic about the memories and atmosphere they create, and often know what a character I’m writing has for breakfast before I fully understand all of their motivations.
I think food can tell us a great deal about someone, especially if we’re looking at the things they turn to when they need comfort or to connect with those around them. My life hasn’t been centered around food, although there have been times where I had an awful relationship with assigning ethics to the very nature of it (thank you, millennial-era propaganda for telling me I was fat).
But I love food and different recipes for the way they nurture us, comfort us, inspire us, and allow us to come together.
When I’m stressed or sick, I reach for recipes from my childhood. I crave the way my mom cooked a casserole. I wish my granny was still alive to cook biscuits and gravy for breakfast. I love that my grandmother used to keep fresh bread and real butter (no margarine) in her kitchen when I came for a visit for us to have together with hot tea.
I find comfort in cooking for my family, in watching others cook, and reading recipes to give me ideas that I’m convinced will come to me in a pinch later (spoiler alert: they definitely have).
So, I guess I wasn’t surprised recently when I ran into an old, forgotten church cookbook from my childhood on my shelf —and inspiration struck again.
For those unfamiliar with the concept, the church or community cookbook has a long history. They began during the Civil War (1861-1865) as fundraisers to benefit Union soldiers. Families would volunteer their prized recipes for anything from stews, bread, jellies, pies, and laundry detergent to be sold in a handy book. Over the years, communities or churches would often sell advertisements or take donations to help pay for the printing cost, but there were also businesses that advertised directly to churches to help them design and print the cookbooks in exchange for a portion of the proceeds from their fundraiser.
In my family, the church cookbook was a heavily guarded item. Once sold-out during a fundraising period, the only way to obtain a copy was to inherit one or hope that someone would sell it at a yard sale. The one I currently have on my shelf is my mom’s least favorite of the three she has. I have been informed that I will receive the other two “one day”.
Recently looking over the one in my possession, I was struck by the unhinged and delightful nature of the contents—Really Margie?? Twelve cans of crushed pineapple for ONE bowl of “Baby Shower Punch”?? Really? I have to use the Orange Sherbet from the Piggly Wiggly??
There are recipes from women I remember fondly, women who have long passed—my granny included. There are simple punches and spritzers, cakes and icebox pies. There are meals made entirely of canned ingredients. Some that illustrate the frugality of the chef in the kitchen. There are recipes I remember the women in my church highly coveting and being thrilled to have in their possession to be able to cook at home.
There are also TEN separately listed recipes for the exact same broccoli casserole.
This struck me in particular. I messaged my mom to share. Years after the one in my possession was produced, it was her job to head this particular project for the church, and she told me that when the same recipe was submitted, they would simply list multiple names by that recipe.
I read through each broccoli casserole recipe to see if I spotted any differences, but honestly the biggest difference were the women who made them. One or two added extra butter or included a “mushroom-free” option, but for the majority, it was the women cooking the recipes that added something new.
It was their kitchens, their personalities, their tables, and their families that made it different.
It made me reflect on my writing a great deal and what makes creating different for each of us.
In my journey to experiment and learn as much as possible while writing fan fiction, I’ve always taken it upon myself to try different things, whether it’s a different POV or paying more attention to pacing. I wrote one fic where I wanted to focus more on their first kiss than anything else. I wrote another where I—desperately—tried to keep each chapter under a certain length to see how it would affect the story. In another, I switched the POVS from First to Third while juggling dual POV.
That type of flexibility and thinking has been helpful as I’ve drafted manuscripts and essentially taught myself how to write a book. There’s so much advice out there for seasoned and unseasoned writers alike. Options for how to structure a story that work for some and not others. It becomes clear, as I guess it always has been, that you have to find your own path. I’m often thrilled to hear writers that have been in it for the long haul say their process still changes and grows with them as their life changes shape, because sometimes after you start to follow all the advice, drafting and honing things in a way that you can only hope is acceptable for an agent that will want to sell it to a publishing house that will want to sell it to the general public, it all starts to feel like the same recipe of broccoli casserole.
The joke about the broccoli casserole got a lot of mileage that day. I messaged my mom of course, then my partner. I messed my bestie and another writing friend with the contents of another recipe that I at first thought was a drink and then realized was for a floor cleaner. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought about how important it was to have the perspective of the chef or the author of a recipe.
Of those ten recipes, I can remember eating at the tables of five of those women. I can’t say that I’ve had broccoli casserole with every single one, but I know I’ve tasted the one that belonged to my mom’s best friend: a single mom who worked hard and made some of the best field peas and rice I’ve ever eaten. I’m sure I had my aunt’s a time or two, someone who didn’t cook much but excelled in the few things she did like to cook. I definitely had a few at a church event, or when they cooked for our family and brought casserole after casserole to our home when my granny passed away.
Each one similar ingredients, the same basic recipe, but so much more because it came from a different person every time. I have to remind myself of this when I start to wonder if I’m constructing something that will meet a reader’s needs—yes, yes, I’m trusting my instinct and writing the story I want to tell. But part of doing that is reminding yourself of why YOU are the one telling the story and not someone else.
Your kitchen, my kitchen. The tools we use, where we pull ingredients from.
All of those things affect our recipe.
My goal in starting this newsletter was to have a space outside of fiction to share my journey, and even now in writing this particular post, I’m thinking… what exactly do I have to offer? This is easily Creating 101 for some of you. Maybe it is, but I need reminders. I’m not always at my strongest or most resilient, and it’s hard to feel that what you’re doing is important when those times come.
It’s good to know where you’ve come from, even on the good days.
Maybe you’re working from a similar recipe as others (romance, pop art, comics, fantasy, line art, digital, various tropes that are evident since the beginning of time that have been repeated, etc).
Your tools are still like no one else’s.
Your kitchen matters.
Recent Recipes:I have a weird time making broccoli in my house. I like it any old way: raw, roasted, sauttéed, baked in casserole, or steamed. My family, not so much. I can’t even tempt them with CHEESE, guys.
So, I won’t be making this particular dish any time soon, but it wouldn’t feel right to talk about Broccoli Casserole without including one, so I found this on All-Recipes, and it is—down to the measurements—the same recipe as most of the ones in a thirty-year old cookbook from my childhood church of which I am no longer a member.
Photo by Dotdash Meredith Food Studios
*Feel free to sub condensed chicken soup for mushroom soup if you’re not a fan.
Recent Reads:The Geographer’s Map to Romance by India Holton
I was struggling with what to rec this time, because I feel like I’ve recced a few cozy fantasy romances, but who cares!! I’ve had a lot of success with cozy, fantasy romance lately.
Geographer’s Map is the second in Holton’s trilogy of academic-historical-fantasy romances. Loved Emily Wilde? This is a great series to follow it with. The first book is about bird academics, and is a funny, romantic rivals-to-lovers romp. THIS ONE though—-THIS ONE!!!! Marriage of convenience where they’re forced to go on a case together to the countryside…that’s about to basically explode with magical energy. They pine, they yearn—they are very horny for each other!
I love neurodivergent Elodie and pragmatic neurotypical Gabriel.
— cozy, historical, fantasy, magical realism, academics, professors, forced proximity, marriage of convenience, pining, yearning, Elodie is very Anne Shirley coded —
Love,
Please create wholeheartedly.
My pups are beta, forgive any grammatical errors.
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August 4, 2025
Finding your people
Okay, we don’t have to cry, but I did cry—as I always do—on a recent rewatch of Muppets Take Manhattan, my FAVORITE Muppets movie next to The Muppet Christmas Carol.
The movie begins with a group of college graduates (The Muppets) presenting their final performance at their school, a fun musical revue with a loose storyline about a young couple that fall in love and decide to make their dreams come true in the big city. The question is posed within minutes of the start of the movie about when they’re going to take it to Broadway, and then we’re off. Kermit, a lovable and talented frog, who seems thrilled to be allowed to attend college in upstate New York as an amphibian is forced to consider what it would be like to see a new dream (maybe an old one) fulfilled.
And he does it with the gentle bullying, support, love, encouragement, and assurance of his friends. What he initially dismisses as ridiculous or impossible suddenly becomes bigger than life, the crew taking off to NYC, employing the use of bus station lockers as living accommodations and setting out with a guitar and dance moves that can be adapted to any office space.
I could name so many parts that I adore, but I love this part for that initial enthusiasm, for the obvious (to us) big swing that they’re taking without having any knowledge of the industry, and the way their confidence and pride slowly dives until they’re down to literal pennies and can barely afford soup at a diner.
The group ultimately separates for a portion of the movie with Kermit still chipping away at the dream until they can all be reunited again.
Now we cry, because when the group departs, they sing, “Saying Goodbye”, which pulls at my heart every time and gives my family something to tease me about. (Funny, it’s not even the song that makes me cry the most in that movie)
Art—and The Muppets are definitely capital ‘A’ Art—has a way of changing on each viewing and as you get further away from it. A song I once thought of when I would do a show and find the little stage family I’d accumulated over six weeks drifting apart or when I graduated or even moved cities is one that has me thinking a great deal about community.
I’ve been writing in fandom for years and if you’re in it long enough, you see people fade in and out over time. People gravitate towards other things in their lives or they find new things to hyper focus on (a new fandom or hobby perhaps). Some of us hang on and keep going, grateful for that steady thing that still manages to stay afloat.
I found the Reylo fandom in 2020 when many did. I’d been reading the fanfic for a while, but having had an aversion to Twitter and other platforms for years, I reluctantly joined the social space after noticing how much artwork I was missing. Seeing that there was a place to interact with authors was an added bonus, and I reluctantly opened my first twitter account (okay, maybe the first one I actively used).
You learn several things very quickly in fandom spaces, one of which is how people often show their true colors well before they exhibit any “bad behavior”. I was always a fan of my granny’s saying “They’re tellin’ on themselves”. She would say it about anyone, even her own grandkids when they were being dishonest or sneaky, but I recall an incident at a restaurant when I was small and a man at a table next to us was horrible to a waitress. “He’s tellin’ on himself,” she said to my grandfather, who (sweetheart that he was) quickly stepped in and asked the waitress if there was anything she needed before finally getting the manager of the restaurant to help the waitress confront the bully of a man.
People tell on themselves all the time, and this is so true for fandom spaces. Obviously, you cannot possibly glean everything you need from a few interactions with a bunch of anonymous, internet strangers, but people who proceed with kindness are the ones I notice often.
It’s why I lurked for so long. I spent years and years in a field where my every professional move was expected to be out front and center for the purposes of networking and often found that it was full of one-upmanship I wasn’t interested in. I loved to talk about craft, but at the end of a long professional day, I wanted more than that. I needed someone with whom I could discuss personal triumphs and failures and whether that newest episode of Grey’s Anatomy was the worst one ever or if we’d all become jaded after [random character]’s death. (I haven’t watched it in YEARS at this point, so I couldn’t tell you what’s going on)
Fandom spaces have this too, but I’ve always been grateful for my lurking sensibilities. I discovered in my thirties that I’m neurodivergent and once pandemic hit and my needs for emotionally masking were no longer necessary the more we became isolated, I realized how little I wanted to do that in any space I occupied. I watched for the people telling on themselves and sought out the ones who were kind and open, friendly and supportive for the sake of being a good steward of the community and just a good human being.
It can be difficult to make friends.
Just going to let that statement stand alone for a second and BREATHE, because in any space, it can be difficult depending on your anxieties, your ability to socialize, and the baggage that inevitably exists the longer you take up space on this earth. I’ve had missteps along the way, but I think observing the people who make fandom and other creative spaces about joy and about the thing itself are a great start.
I started to wonder if there was something inherently wrong with me for finding friends in the comments sections of my fics. But these were the people that GOT what I was saying or trying to capture with my words. They were the people I didn’t have to explain myself to. They understood the vision and cheered it on. They were often other writers or artists that I admire, and beginning with that mutual admiration, friendships sprung from those comments and the back and forth conversations about what we were working on next. Interestingly enough, this is how my suspicions about a neurodivergent diagnosis were confirmed as I found other neurodivergent people that I connected with (cue that saying about ND people being like a wolf pack that love to find each other).
I take a great deal of comfort from writing, from being alone with my laptop and letting my ideas flourish under my fingers. After a childhood with a deep love of make believe and writing stories in my head, it feels good to live in that space and then share it. But it’s hard to create in a vacuum after a while. Fandom taught me the value of that immediate response you receive to your work. I found my first beta readers in fandom. People that champion your ideas and abilities in a way that it’s difficult for family members or other friends to achieve. I like to say that I sowed my wild oats on AO3, but I also sowed my oats as a writer in the sacred spaces of DMs and discord messages discussing storytelling and bouncing off ideas with friends that were happy to be along from the ride. My hope is that I’ve given them at least half as much as they’ve given to me.
We don’t exist alone.
Like Kermit, we need people to champion our ideas and feelings and needs. They exist in so many different capacities, whether it’s a partner that simply gives you the permission to be and tells you can do it or it’s the friend that gets your 7 a.m. texts when you were up too early with an idea or responds to your 20-minute voice recording about the changes you’re planning to make in your manuscript because sometimes “talking it out” hits a spot that taking notes never could.
Kermit’s friends, sensing the mounting pressure and the multiple failures to launch their show, step away and allow him time, venturing off to different parts of the country to find jobs and keep their friend from feeling burdened by the group’s failure. They let him grieve and find his way, which he eventually does, after a few hare-brained and delightful schemes. It’s not the new schemes that find him work, but the son of a famous producer who saw the group on their first visit that finally gives Kermit and his friends their big break. Excited to share and call his friends back to NYC, Kermit is hit by a taxi, which lands him in the hospital with a bout of amnesia.
He gets work at an ad agency with a few other frogs, floundering and trying to find his way through the sameness, while his friends relentlessly seek him out. In one of the more touching scenes in the movie, they finally spot him at the same diner where they last parted, Kermit clinking the melody of their opening number on the water glasses and signaling that there’s still a part of him in there.
It’s his friends, ultimately, that remind him of his purpose and his great love. And no, it’s not the part that makes me cry the most, but I get a little misty at a poignant moment when Kermit begins to remember them and himself, singing the line, “Look at me, here I am. Right where I belong'‘.
I’ve thought about this part a great deal recently as things hit highs and lows personally. I’m with a good doctor now who is listening to me when I tell them what I’ve been dealing with for more than a year, but even with better days on the horizon, the lows have been difficult when I have the days where my brain feels fuzzy and my desire to write exists, but I’m lacking the energy. I’ve relied on my little community a great deal in the last few weeks, holding those reminders of who I am and what I love close as I assess what’s next.
We don’t exist alone. We really can’t.
Beyond my family, I have friends that are flung far and wide, and I’m grateful for each one that sees me and supports me in a way that goes beyond what I write. It’s one part of who I am, and I’m so glad they’re with me to remind me when other circumstances make me forget.
Okay, the part that makes me cry the most, by the way? True to my romantic heart, it’s the song that Miss Piggy and Kermit sing to each other at the VERY end.
Recent Recipes:This is one I may have shared before or even mentioned recently, but I love tomato pie season. When it’s late summer and the tomatoes are ripe and beautiful and they only need a little salt and pepper to really sing…but then we add some other ingredients and it just makes them all the more wonderful. This is a favorite on the weekends for our family and most of it can be made with a few staples—just add tomatoes, basil, and cheddar.
Picture from Ruhlman
— tomatoes, lemo mayo sauce, basil, and biscuit crust with cheddar pressed and baked into the top —
Recent Reads:I’ve been struggling with the last several romance fantasy reads on my TBR, but I quickly fell into the premise of this one.
Halla is a widowed housekeeper in her thirties who uses her smarts and the help of her new sword companion, Sarkis, to defend her inheritance against her family members—an aunt who wants to force her into a marriage with her cowardly cousin.
The journey to a neighboring city to find a priest to help defend her isn’t without peril or tricks, but Sarkis and Halla work together to beat the odds.
I love T. Kingfisher’s writing and found Halla charming and Sarkis lovably grumpy. Used to training warriors, he’s at first defeated by her lack of skill, but quickly changes his tune when he sees her true brilliance.
— cozy romantasy, low stakes, grumpy man who lives in a sword, widowed FMC in her thirties just trying to collect her inheritance and escape her terrible relatives, forced proximity, there was one: bed, wagon, room, sword —
Love,
Please create wholeheartedly.
My pups are beta, forgive any grammatical errors. They don’t have thumbs.
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June 24, 2025
Creating the Mental Space for Writing
screenshot from Sylvanian Family Drama
When I first started working on this post, I was in day six without the progesterone that I had to go on last year to help with ::gestures:: things, and while that was NOT in my plans for this summer, there were some factors that couldn’t be helped (new insurance, an unfortunate misunderstanding with a scheduler at a new office, a lack of response from a different new office, don’t even get me started on American health insurance, the absence of a nurse practitioner from the old office, and a stunning lack of desire from the old office to assist me until I could get to my new doctor). Okay, maybe some of those COULD have been helped, but then I just sound very much like a “in MY DAY…” kind of millennial when the reality is that progesterone (with its mood-chilling assistance) or no, the world is still chaotic and grim, and I’m still expected to function as person.
I told myself that I would anticipate the side effects (exercise regularly, eat well, GET SLEEP, etc) to help mitigate any of the bad. But yeah… it’s hard.
I turn to creative endeavors to help relieve that stress or help me escape for a bit. It’s an outlet that I’ve needed most of my life. As a singer, I thrived on the work. Opening a new vocal score for the first time was thrilling. It meant work was ahead of me, hard work—yes! But it meant steps ahead that would slowly build and build until I had a product that would go out on a stage or to an audition. Writing a manuscript and preparing it for querying really helped me to see the parallels between the two, pieces that I would gather up over time until it was a product (not fully finished but still a product). Then comes the polishing, then the feedback, and then finally, ushering it out into the world in a small way.
It’s not without headaches, but it’s thrilling for me to see it through from beginning to end.
One of the hardest parts? When it has to stop. When my brain is overworked, my body not cooperating. All signs that I need a break. And right now? It’s easy to feel overworked when the mental load seems to get heavier every day with personal things that come up and a chaotic world that just seems to be getting more cruel with every headline.
Writing fanfic has taught me a great deal. The chaotic days of posting two to three new fics in a week to be dealt with at my leisure taught me a weird sort of perseverance for which I’m grateful. But eventually, things take a toll, and I’ve had to learn to actively choose escape in order to refuel. Today that seems just as important to do in order to survive and to fight back against the things we see play out in multiple cities here in the states. Refueling and rest (mental and physical), is integral to our survival and it’s just as important to our creative life as well.
They go hand in hand.
If we’re creating, we’re able to fight back against the things that plague us.
If we’re creating, we’re surviving.
I’ve had a few people ask me over the years about the volume of things I write as well as how I manage to do multiple projects at once. I’ll admit that as I turn to start focusing more on drafting new manuscripts and editing those more thoroughly, I do have less space to jump around. But I still know the value in it. I appreciate the need to put things away for a time—even if it gives me pain and my heart is ready to tackle the next part of the list. I’m currently on the cusp of finishing a manuscript draft, and I KNOW that my first inclination will be to immediately jump to the beginning and start reworking things. (It’s very possible that I will initially ignore my own plans, because I’m stubborn. I promise to update you on the status of whether I resist.) But we have to respect the time that we need to recharge and be renewed physically and creatively.
This isn’t one size fits all advice. Everyone works and creates differently. Some have a steady schedule and map out time to write or draw, but since my life doesn’t allow for that—because my brain works on its own hyper focused path sometimes—I have to roll with it when it’s inspired and ready to go. In this case, rest is even more important, since it often means weeks of churning out words before I reach a burnout period.
I say, (WITH CAUTION!!!) this type of burnout is OKAY as long as you recognize it and answer it with care.
Pushing out chapters of fanfic taught me to look for physical/mental signals that I was winding down for needed time of writer’s hibernation. When I get to this point, it feels as if words are not possible. The idea that I am most amped up about? The shine fades and the magic on it seems lost.
Writing begins to feel as if I’m pushing through sludge, and that little voice in my head starts to panic, worried that I’ve finally run dry (God, does this sound dramatic to anyone else???)
The harsh personal critic having more space is the final sign (other than the fact that I’m exhausted). The HPC says that I’ve never written anything good or maybe it says I’m gonna have to cut and rewrite the chapter that I feel deep down is on a good path. HPC says that I’ve “done this before” or “can't write anything original to save my life”. I don’t always see the HPC, but usually when I’m there, I know it’s critical and that the time to put my writing away for a few days or weeks is the next thing I have to do.
I can’t skip this step.
I’ve tried.
I’ve given myself a meager day and tried to sneak in a few words on the next, and like recovering from any injury, my body and mind need this time away. When I’ve cut corners in the past, it only delays my return to my writing. Do I go into this kicking and screaming sometimes? Absolutely. A few weeks ago, I was so close to the finish line on a current project and considered pushing through. Sometimes you do have to squeak by across the line, but I had the ability and time to rest, and it’s sent me into this last section with a better energy to finish.
After kicking and screaming my way into rest, I have to do the other crucial step in coming back with a vengeance: feed myself (yes, sometimes physically—oops, did I forget lunch??).
But feeding my mind sometimes consists of menial tasks and podcasts. It’s a walk outside or on the walking pad and a movie. It’s four regency histroms in a row that hit the sweet spot of my brain longing for well-balanced romance, storytelling, and smut. It’s being with my family in the evenings and on weekends. It’s playing putt-putt golf and kicking ass. It’s painting terrible watercolors or cooking something I know my family will appreciate. It’s reading fanfic and leaving comments. (Sometimes if it’s not about burnout and just about the need to bounce back, which is when I write that crazy idea that’s currently comforting my brain, scratching the itch in the best way.)
It’s stepping outside of the writing and living.
I recently watched this GQ interview with Jason Segel from back in December 2024 where he breaks down iconic characters. It’s a fun interview and as a fan of his, I loved getting bts tidbits (I am frequently cheered up by watching this Table Read moment from Forgetting Sarah Marshall), but I love how he talks about writing and especially a moment where he discusses what he learned while juggling his writing in the midst of also filming the seasons of How I Met Your Mother.
“Art is about making sense of what you’re going though…” It’s something I’ll keep with me for a long time, because that’s why I write.
I write to make sense of what I’m going through, and sometimes it means literally putting those fears and that trauma and that love on paper. And other times, it’s writing the most unhinged thing my brain can grasp at the time to deal with what’s currently scaring the hell out of me.
Our creative lives are a house that we have to manage and care for. We have to make it comfortable to inhabit. We have to make it a place we can return to time and again and the only way we can do that is to choose its upkeep.
I did get in with a new doctor last week, by the way, and the experience was so good, I was worried that I had somehow stepped into an alternate universe. My kiddo had a good visit to the doctor this week that is more promising than I’d initially expected.
The world is still on fire, and things are never perfect.
But I’m watering the grass in my little mind cottage. Staying informed of what is outside, and creating space for daydreaming and adventure. Reminding myself that if no one else needs these stories, I need these stories to keep pressing on.
Recent Recipes:It’s peach season in the southeastern part of the states, which means lots of cobblers (IYKYK) and peach-inspired recipes. We tend to take advantage of the season with peach jams, cobblers, smoothies and shakes, and adding it to our savory dishes as well.
One of my favorites is one I made last week with some prepped chicken. You can also change out the peaches for apples or grapes (whatever’s in season).
She uses pitas here, but I like a thicker crust and have used a pre-made flatbread or the Trader Joe’s pre-made dough. It’s great for a night when you’re shorter on time.
Photo by Lillie Eats & Tells
Chicken, Bacon, Peach, and Blue Cheese Flatbread
Recent Reads:Margo’s Got Money Troubles by Rufi Thorpe
I recommended this one recently on Bsky, and I got a good response from people who had read it and loved it and a few who put it on their TBR, so I thought I’d mention it here.
I love the POV of Margo, told in alternating First and Third POVs (give it a shot if you’re hesitant) as it takes the reader through the journey of Margo’s affair with her English professor that lands her pregnant and looking for a steady income.
She starts an Only Fans account where she rates and compares men’s genitalia to Pokémon characters, becomes close with her one of her clients, and juggles motherhood and the presence of her biological father who is an aging wrestler.
— womens’ fiction w a small romantic subplot, coming of age, pregnancy, motherhood, OF, hilariously inappropriate use of Pokémon descriptors, found family, blood family found —
Love,
Please create wholeheartedly.
My pups are beta, forgive any grammatical errors.
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May 27, 2025
The Art of Self-Sabotage
I was chatting with two friends this week, all creators of some sort, and they both brought up the idea of self-sabotage and why we choose to engage. I, thinking I had somehow managed to remove myself from this equation of harming my creative process by only killing my darlings, remembered that at least once a week, I’ve thought about this newsletter since making the decision to start it—hmm, when was that??—over a month ago.
It occurred to me that I do too participate in the sacred art of self-sabotaging myself out of a good thing, and maybe, just maybe, while I’ve removed multiple barriers in sabotaging my creative efforts, I’m less inclined to stop those barriers from coming up when it comes to sharing parts of myself and my journey. Let me be clear [insert Key & Peele Obama gif], I absolutely find ways to hold myself back when it comes to my writing or my goals, even in small ways, but my current predicament became more personal the longer I chose to dig.
I wasn’t raised to be private or withdrawn. I’m the product of two parents with very social habits, and there was a stigma surrounding the need for peace and privacy within our family. Don’t get me wrong. I love to socialize in spaces that seem meant for me, but even then, I like to take my time. Assess what’s there and let myself melt into the edges of the walls before I decide to take up space. And one way I always felt comfortable taking up space was through being creative. It was a type of indirect attention I could stomach, and it was my way of giving a part of myself without giving everything away.
I’ve thought about this more lately, and especially over the last few years when I realized that I have undiagnosed ADHD. I’m sure some part of me delaying a new post could be chalked up to that need in my brain to start some sort of new chaos that’s easily discarded once the shine wears off, but discussing this with my friend made it clear that it was more than that.
I’d actually taken the time to think this through when I opened up the account. I knew I wanted to try and traditionally publish my writing and have an outlet along my journey. Having been inspired and encouraged by others who had done the same, I knew that it could mean something to someone else, too. This wasn’t me yeeting a story to AO3, knowing I’d opened a can of worms that I’d have to wiggle my way out of with forty thousand words to be posted later. I’d taken the time to think about starting a newsletter—-even consulted an author that recently debuted.
So, why was I reluctant to post again after declaring that I would do it?
My best friend is a talented writer, photographer, and artist, and I think one of the things that gets to the heart of the matter of self-sabotage is our perception of outside commentary. Weeks ago, faced with her desire to finally post some of her work to not only generate a little income, but put herself out there artistically, she shared what was holding her back: people. She was worried that she’d be presenting another facet of herself, yet another interest, another business model to the people in her world. She was drumming up commentary that didn’t exist (and hello, I’m anxious! I get it!), and I responded with what I wish we could tell ourselves more: You can’t help that you’re multi-talented.
She sent me a picture a few hours later with this text message printed off and posted on her board above her desk, because she realized that it wasn’t her talent and work ethic stopping her.
We revisited this topic recently when she mentioned that she’d yet to get back to posting that artwork and brought up the same word I’d heard from another friend that very same day. I admitted that in my writing, I’d worked so hard to keep myself from holding myself back—even refusing in the early days to graveyard snippets if I was only holding onto it because I was afraid I’d never write anything else worthwhile. I made myself vulnerable in creating stories and characters, stitching together dialogue, and weaving together messy meet cutes, and that always felt like it was enough. But then when it comes to being open—even at the surface—in front of others, it feels too much like weakness and not enough about empowering that part of me that has something to share.
My career in music exacerbated this, I’m sure. Triumphs and disappointments never felt in equal measure, because each disappointment was weighted with the need to explain away the failure as if it was my job to console the people around me.
I think it’s time to strike a balance.
I remember a while back in one of my documentary watches with my partner, identifying with Dave Grohl from the Foo Fighters when addressing their music videos. They were known early in the band’s conception for producing silly, memorable videos that tied in very little to the music. He said, and I’m paraphrasing here, that they took their music seriously, but never themselves. That resonated with me as a creative, but especially in the last several years as a writer. I chose a silly PFP that gave me a laugh and never tried to engage very far beyond writing. I deleted plenty of posts about my personal life (no major regrets, privacy is important), and stashed away away others in my drafts, never to see the light of day (also fine. some things are meant for a diary, I think).
Writing was the part of me I was willing and able and comfortable with putting forward.
But sometimes I’m afraid I went too deep in my efforts to conceal aspects of myself. I have every right to take my writing AND myself seriously.
It’s definitely time to strike a balance. I’m a writer, and I’m on a querying journey that can feel lonely, but also rewarding as I learn more and connect with others that are doing the same.
I don’t have to give the world every slice of my anxiety pie, but I can share a piece. Because maybe you, dear reader, are self-sabotaging, too. Maybe we all are a little at a time in ways we don’t realize.
I’ve had a few opportunities to connect with writers outside of my bubble in the last few months, and I’ve been hesitant. (That fandom bubble is strong, y’all) But I’m stepping out of my comfort zone with introducing myself at these networking events as a writer (hello, you write, therefore, you are a writer) First up this month? Attending a live and in-person author talk that I hope to share about later.
Before that? This post that I promised my friend I would make.
(I love reading and love food, so indulge me. I hope to include a little of both with every post <3)
Recent Recipes/Recent ReadsRecent Recipes:Two ingredients that scream summer to me:
tomatoes and fresh corn.
By July 4th, most grocery stores have large trash cans lining the produce aisle, because ears of corn sell out at 5-6/$1, and customers will shuck them in the store before taking them home.
We’ve got a ways to go before we’re deep in the best season for either, but summer break means my cravings for tomato and corn recipes increase by a very accurate and mathematical 1000%. Add an herb sauce and a soft cheese?? Heaven!
Photo by A Simple Pantry
Burrata and Corn Salad with Heirloom Tomato Vinaigrette by A Simple Pantry
Recent Reads:You Between the Lines by Katie Naymon
If you follow me on Bsky, I made a post about this book after reading it and have since added it to the little stack of books at my writing desk that inspire me. Books that I couldn’t stop reading and that stayed with me until the very last piece fell into place. I adored the MMC Will, but my heart belongs to one complicated, contrarian pop culture poet named Leigh. Come for the love story about writers, second chance-ish? romance, and pining. Stay for the honest convos about mental health and lovely prose.
A week later, and I’m still thinking about them.
You Between the Lines by Katie Naymon
—MFA Rivals, forced proximity, second chance-ish, poetry, Appalachian setting, PINING, down bad MMC, messy down bad FMC—
Love,
Please create responsibly.
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March 27, 2025
Hello, I'm Pen.
I’ve been wanting to start a newsletter for a while, especially a year ago when I was in the middle of drafting my first novel. At that time, I was hoping to share my insights of what it was like to go from writing friendly fanfiction to having to work out a novel fit for publishing. But alas, I was worried constantly that I was jumping the gun—What if nothing ever came of it? (for example)
My mentality then was fairly optimistic. I’ve been through the rigors of auditions as a singer (yes, classically trained, actually), so I knew what it was like to face the rollercoaster of encouragement, enthusiasm, victories and devastating rejection.
But writing feels different, because it’s a lifelong dream of mine to write and publish. While I’m still optimistic and proud of what I’ve accomplished, it’s easy for that confidence to dip and dive with what each day brings.
I’m self-taught and sowed my oats in fandom spaces, and it’s been one hell of place for me to gain experience, but what if that wasn’t enough to teach me what I needed to know to get an agent’s attention?
I wrestled with that a great deal as I drafted my book, redrafted the last twenty percent, sent it off to beta readers, edited more, edited even more, edited until I thought my eyes may bleed, and then continued the process of building a query letter which went through it’s own process of editing.
So, anyway, here I am, because I have a small community of writers that I’m close with, and we talk about writing and publishing and storytelling. We get into heated text battles over a book we’ve read or a fic we’ve loved. We agree to disagree about an ending. We celebrate each other and cheer each other on.
But I often felt like I had to work to find that, so I wanted to share more of that here in case anyone wants to better understand my process. I may not be saying anything different from what you’ve already heard, but if you want to hear it from me, now you can.
Thank you again for being here!
Love, Pen <3
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