Amanda Bennett's Blog

What is the difference between hope and denial? And why does it matter? TEDMED talk 2013

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_Z-ru...

What is the difference between HOPE and DENIAL?

So many families and professionals get caught feeling that they are behaving irrationally. But what if this is the way humans behave? What if denial and hope are the same thing?

I gave a talk at TEDMED in Washington D.C. on the subject. Here's a YouTube link....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_Z-ru...

http://www.thegatesnotes.com/Books/He...

Why is denial good?
In this article I talk about it.... Here's an excerpt:

"I’d say that you have to realize that denial is a two-edged sword. Denial is unbelievably positive. To call it “denial” is almost ridiculously understating what it is. .... We absolutely refused to believe he was going to die, and as a result we never did act like he was going to die. And with everything we went through, we had glorious, happy, event-filled lives almost to the last minute.
(Denial).... helped us to be normal. It gave him the ability not even three weeks before he died to tell somebody, "I’ve had a wonderful, wonderful life."



http://www.nextavenue.org/article/201...

Here's a blog I wrote for Sarah Brokaw's Fortytude project...


http://www.sarahbrokaw.com/august-aut...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/enterta...

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/22/boo...

My book The Cost of Hope is partly investigative journalism. But it is also a memoir.... a memoir of a rambunctious marriage that -- in retrospect -- was a lot like the kind of old movies that Terence loved to watch. You know, like "It happened One Night" where two people clash and clash and clash until they recognize the inevitable -- and fall in love. Or realize they've been in love all along.

People have been asking me whether it wasn't painful to write-- since this book was written after Terence died. My answer is always: Absolutely not. Quite the opposite. Writing a memoir was like giving me permission to spend another year with him. To spend some luxurious time going over all my favorite memories, to turn those memories into stories, to spend time going over pictures and home movies. It was actually great.

After Terence died, I got some advice from a dear friend. I had spent most of the previous seven years trying to keep Terence alive -- to "fix" the problem. "This isn't something you can fix," she said. "This is something you have to sit with." I found it great advice. Would you have? What advice have you given people?

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-06...