M.T. Mathieson's Blog

Deathtrap is currently free on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00WNK5LHM in the United States

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00WNK5LHM in the UK.

I've been fairly quiet for a while. This has been, in part, due to me being busy doing fun, family stuff but there has also been an element of needing to recover.

The Lighthouse took it out of me. The whole process of writing it, and especially editing it, was gruelling. When it was over and I'd finally, reluctantly kissed it goodbye and hit the upload button (ok, buttons because one cannot yet distribute to Amazon and the other major outlets through a single process), I started to wonder why this one had been such a big deal.

I'm not suggesting that I didn't care about the other titles that I've published, I did, and everything I've written has been painstakingly edited. It's just that, this time, painstaking doesn't cover it. I agonized over every sentence. Why was it so painful?

I think the answer lies in the subject, the theme. I had to get it right. Ann Barford is a fictional character but she is a character that I have lived with for a long time.

In order to write a character convincingly, I believe that the author needs to believe in that character. To me, Ann Barford was real. I got to know her, to understand her and to care about her and, finally, to (well, I guess, that would be a spoiler). Suffice to say that on every read through (and that went well into double figures), I cried.

I cared about Ann Barford but I think the reason for that was, at least in part, that I knew that, in the world that I live in, there are thousands of real Anns, going unnoticed and unheard. I had to do them justice. I felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility. I felt the responsibility of avoiding stereotypes and of accurately representing one of the many and varied reactions to childhood abuse without suggesting that it is the only reaction. I hope that I achieved that but, mostly, I hope that the message was clear. Silence may be golden but all that glitters is not gold.

So what now? Well, I'm going to spend a few days reading other people's work. I've got a couple of titles that I need to write reviews for and I'm also part of a working group for the editing process of what promises to be a fantastic novel. I'm also going to be writing a piece of flash fiction for a horror fiction website, by which time I should be ready to get back to work.

The novel is a long way off –– at least a year. In the meantime, there is the anthology of shorts and a series of short stories based around Txt –– more on that later.

Busy times but (to quote a phrase) I'm loving it.

My main priority for today is to find somewhere to go on holiday. As usual, I have left it until the last minute. The same thing happens every year, the arrival of August nudges me into action and, after a desperate internet search to find somewhere, I swear to be better organised next year.

This year, I don't even have any idea what part of the country I want to go to. You would think that this would make the search easier, giving me more chance of finding somewhere that still has places available at such short notice by extending the net. It doesn't.

Have you ever tried an internet search for 'bed and breakfast uk'? I'm not sure I even know how to say that number. Even if I decide that I want to limit my travelling time and narrow the search to places in england I have a choice of over 58 million websites. Now, I'm not the world's greatest statistician but even I know that that is more than the country's population so I think there might be a bit of doubling up going on.

So now what? I try some of the links but hardly any show availability. I narrow my search some more. How about Norfolk? Ok, so it's where I go every year but there must be a reason for that, right? Hmm, we're still in the millions. Pick a town, any town. The pin in the map says Cromer. Yay, we're now down to a little over a quarter of a million. Manageable, sort of.

Start clicking. Find a b&b that I like and, knowing full well that they will be fully booked, I reach for the phone. I was right. I return to the list. It's going to be a long afternoon. Time for a cup of tea.

Next year, I'm booking in January, I swear.

I have decided that the 'Other Authors' page is looking a little messy on the website so I plan to spend the day tidying it up. I'm not sure whether to add separate page for each genre or a page for each author. The trouble with genre is that it can be a little subjective. Anyway, that'll give me something to ponder as I look for other ways to avoid the things that I should be doing.

I am now officially a Goodreads author. I never knew there was so much involved in this writing business.

Now, as well as trying to fit in my self-imposed word count, I have to write a blog. This is in addition to Twittering. (I believe it's actually called Tweeting but twittering seems so much more appropriate to me).

So there we are, I have written my blog. I wonder whether this is allowable as part of my daily word count.