Hal Eisenberg's Blog - Posts Tagged "teens"
Uh-Oh...
That's "Uh-Oh" as in the song by the band,
Junior Doctor. This is one of the songs I was playing while finishing the book. The lyrics are so right for Jonah's point of view about the girl of his dreams, Theresa Thompkins. Here's some of the lyrics:
"I've never been good with words
Well, at least not the sweet kind
Somehow when she's around
It's like I just lose my mind
And I know, I know I should just leave it alone
But I won't, I won't, I keep getting in my way
And my friends say I'm crazy
A girl like that would never go for a guy like me
I know, I know that I should listen to them
But I won't, I won't, I won't
And uh oh, uh oh, I get that feeling
And I don't know, don't know how she keeps stealing
All the air from my lungs
And leaving all the words stuck on my tongue
It's like I'm not even here
Ran me over as she walked by
Dust off my clumsy words
And bad pickup lines
And I know, I know that I can't leave her alone
And I won't, I won't, I try to work up the nerve
Hope to God I don't stutter
My thrown together letters never end up as words
And I know, I know I should leave it alone
But I won't, I won't, I won't
And uh oh, uh oh, I get that feeling
And I don't know, don't know how she keeps stealing
All the air from my lungs
And leaving all the words stuck on my tongue..."
Jonah could have written those words as awkward as his exchanges are with Theresa when he first meets her. And by saying awkward, I'm being kind.
BUT DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT. Here's a snippet from the book:
As I checked my daily email, searching for something from the radio station, I began to believe that perhaps Jess was right. Maybe Tim Ronston was just being nice to a listener and that was the end of that. I decided to take a break from worrying and clicked on my pathetic Facebook page. There were a dozen friend requests from people I didn’t know. Girls from our school, pretty girls, popular girls. Was this some kind of joke? Not that I was complaining. My guess was they were part of Jess’s babe patrol and were just trying to get to him through me. I decided to pull up Theresa Thompkins’ Facebook page. How depressing. She had over eight hundred and fifty friends, and I wasn’t one of them. I held my breath as I boldly decided to befriend her and ask to be number eight hundred fifty- one. How pathetic.
I didn’t give it much thought about the strange requests, or even my friending Theresa, until later on Friday. As I sprinted to my locker and made a wide turn down the C Hall, I ran into her, literally. Like two small planes in a mid-air collision, my foot went under hers and forced us both to the floor. Her books and papers went flying everywhere. Pain mixed with pleasure as I lay there in a pile of beautiful arms and legs.
“Geez! Why don’t you watch where you’re going?” she asked, as she attempted to push me off of her. Then miraculously, she recognized me.
Jonah?” she asked, rubbing her forehead.
“Seems like whenever we get together, people fall down.”
“Yes, especially me. Um, you can get off of me now.”
“Hey, any contact is better than no contact at all.”
Yes, I said that out loud.
“Say what?”
“You seem to be in a hurry,” I said, helping her up.
“Yeah, my mom’s picking me up today. “What’s your excuse?”
Think. Think.
“I’m going to this place.”
Oh, that was brilliant.
“Hey, I meant to tell you, I talked to this guy, um, Jess Taylor.” “Oh, you know Teffy?”
“Teffy? Who’s Teffy?”
“That’s what I call Jess because no matter how bad of a mess he gets into, he always slides out of it.
Blank stare.
“Like Teflon, Teffy, get it?”
Now she was looking at me like I was from the planet Krypton.
“See, he calls me Joman, which makes sense, since my name is Jonah. Jonah, Joman, not much of a stretch there, but see, I don’t mind being called Joman, or Jonah for that matter, cause, well, that’s my name so, technically I guess Joman isn’t really a nickname at all, is it?”
Get a grip, Jonah! Must use real sentences!
“But uh, yeah, Jess is my best friend. He sure is. So... eh, what were you saying?”
“He mentioned you guys were forming a band and it sounded pretty cool.”
What? Crap! Come on mouth, work!
“He did, did he?”
“Yes, and he said I could come over and watch you guys practice on Saturday,” she said, her piercing blue eyes making me feel a little dizzy.
“Wait, what? You mean come over—over?”
“Yeah, hang out with the band, applaud and scream a lot. I could be your first groupie,” she said, smiling.
Pinch me, someone.
“Wow, that sounds really great, but our practices are kind of boring,” I said.
“I don’t know. I think it would be fun watching you guys learn the songs, practice the vocals, and stuff like that.”
How about watching us learn how to play?
“Say, I noticed you friended me on Facebook.”
“Oh, um, yeah, I did. That’s okay, right? Cause if you don’t want ...”
“Cool. Okay, well, see you on Saturday, Joman,” she said, twirling around and strutting away, her long blond hair swishing back and forth.
As I watched her mesmerizing form drift out of view, I stood there, stunned at what had just occurred, while trying to get my heart to stop pounding. First of all, I’d actually had a real conversation with Theresa Thompkins, not a coherent one, and I did have to knock her down in order to do it. Still, I was feeling pretty damn good. That was, until I realized I had just told her it was okay to come over and watch our fake band. My guess was she only wanted to come over to be around Jess. But still, it was a great Theresa moment.
Rushing home, I threw my backpack against the wall, flopped down on my bed and rewound the conversation in my head. It was then I decided that if I had any chance with her, I was going to have to confront Jess and find out if he had any feelings for her as well.
SEE WHAT I MEAN?
Junior Doctor. This is one of the songs I was playing while finishing the book. The lyrics are so right for Jonah's point of view about the girl of his dreams, Theresa Thompkins. Here's some of the lyrics:
"I've never been good with words
Well, at least not the sweet kind
Somehow when she's around
It's like I just lose my mind
And I know, I know I should just leave it alone
But I won't, I won't, I keep getting in my way
And my friends say I'm crazy
A girl like that would never go for a guy like me
I know, I know that I should listen to them
But I won't, I won't, I won't
And uh oh, uh oh, I get that feeling
And I don't know, don't know how she keeps stealing
All the air from my lungs
And leaving all the words stuck on my tongue
It's like I'm not even here
Ran me over as she walked by
Dust off my clumsy words
And bad pickup lines
And I know, I know that I can't leave her alone
And I won't, I won't, I try to work up the nerve
Hope to God I don't stutter
My thrown together letters never end up as words
And I know, I know I should leave it alone
But I won't, I won't, I won't
And uh oh, uh oh, I get that feeling
And I don't know, don't know how she keeps stealing
All the air from my lungs
And leaving all the words stuck on my tongue..."
Jonah could have written those words as awkward as his exchanges are with Theresa when he first meets her. And by saying awkward, I'm being kind.
BUT DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT. Here's a snippet from the book:
As I checked my daily email, searching for something from the radio station, I began to believe that perhaps Jess was right. Maybe Tim Ronston was just being nice to a listener and that was the end of that. I decided to take a break from worrying and clicked on my pathetic Facebook page. There were a dozen friend requests from people I didn’t know. Girls from our school, pretty girls, popular girls. Was this some kind of joke? Not that I was complaining. My guess was they were part of Jess’s babe patrol and were just trying to get to him through me. I decided to pull up Theresa Thompkins’ Facebook page. How depressing. She had over eight hundred and fifty friends, and I wasn’t one of them. I held my breath as I boldly decided to befriend her and ask to be number eight hundred fifty- one. How pathetic.
I didn’t give it much thought about the strange requests, or even my friending Theresa, until later on Friday. As I sprinted to my locker and made a wide turn down the C Hall, I ran into her, literally. Like two small planes in a mid-air collision, my foot went under hers and forced us both to the floor. Her books and papers went flying everywhere. Pain mixed with pleasure as I lay there in a pile of beautiful arms and legs.
“Geez! Why don’t you watch where you’re going?” she asked, as she attempted to push me off of her. Then miraculously, she recognized me.
Jonah?” she asked, rubbing her forehead.
“Seems like whenever we get together, people fall down.”
“Yes, especially me. Um, you can get off of me now.”
“Hey, any contact is better than no contact at all.”
Yes, I said that out loud.
“Say what?”
“You seem to be in a hurry,” I said, helping her up.
“Yeah, my mom’s picking me up today. “What’s your excuse?”
Think. Think.
“I’m going to this place.”
Oh, that was brilliant.
“Hey, I meant to tell you, I talked to this guy, um, Jess Taylor.” “Oh, you know Teffy?”
“Teffy? Who’s Teffy?”
“That’s what I call Jess because no matter how bad of a mess he gets into, he always slides out of it.
Blank stare.
“Like Teflon, Teffy, get it?”
Now she was looking at me like I was from the planet Krypton.
“See, he calls me Joman, which makes sense, since my name is Jonah. Jonah, Joman, not much of a stretch there, but see, I don’t mind being called Joman, or Jonah for that matter, cause, well, that’s my name so, technically I guess Joman isn’t really a nickname at all, is it?”
Get a grip, Jonah! Must use real sentences!
“But uh, yeah, Jess is my best friend. He sure is. So... eh, what were you saying?”
“He mentioned you guys were forming a band and it sounded pretty cool.”
What? Crap! Come on mouth, work!
“He did, did he?”
“Yes, and he said I could come over and watch you guys practice on Saturday,” she said, her piercing blue eyes making me feel a little dizzy.
“Wait, what? You mean come over—over?”
“Yeah, hang out with the band, applaud and scream a lot. I could be your first groupie,” she said, smiling.
Pinch me, someone.
“Wow, that sounds really great, but our practices are kind of boring,” I said.
“I don’t know. I think it would be fun watching you guys learn the songs, practice the vocals, and stuff like that.”
How about watching us learn how to play?
“Say, I noticed you friended me on Facebook.”
“Oh, um, yeah, I did. That’s okay, right? Cause if you don’t want ...”
“Cool. Okay, well, see you on Saturday, Joman,” she said, twirling around and strutting away, her long blond hair swishing back and forth.
As I watched her mesmerizing form drift out of view, I stood there, stunned at what had just occurred, while trying to get my heart to stop pounding. First of all, I’d actually had a real conversation with Theresa Thompkins, not a coherent one, and I did have to knock her down in order to do it. Still, I was feeling pretty damn good. That was, until I realized I had just told her it was okay to come over and watch our fake band. My guess was she only wanted to come over to be around Jess. But still, it was a great Theresa moment.
Rushing home, I threw my backpack against the wall, flopped down on my bed and rewound the conversation in my head. It was then I decided that if I had any chance with her, I was going to have to confront Jess and find out if he had any feelings for her as well.
SEE WHAT I MEAN?
BOOK REVIEWS - MY THOUGHTS
A MESSAGE TO WRITERS (AND BLOGGERS)
Hi All! In case you stumbled on this blog, my name is Hal Eisenberg and I published my first young adult, contemporary novel, OVERNIGHT SENSATION, about 6 months ago. During this short period of time, I've been fortunate to get some great reviews and ratings and thought I'd share some of my observations with both writers as well as bloggers about them.
The fact that someone would actually take the time to read my book and then write down their thoughts is amazing to me. Especially since it does not follow the path of what's popular. For example, you won't find any shape shifters, demons, ghosts, or hunky vampires in love:). Instead, it deals with the real world and in particular, the real world's obsession and fascination with fame by asking the question, "What would you do if you suddenly became famous but didn't deserve that fame? Would you come clean? Or would you try like mad to hold on to that fame?" And it does it in what I hope is a clever, funny way.
I find it very gratifying to read the reviews of my book as they trickle in, even though it has not been out very long. I'm also amazed at the wide variances of opinions in those reviews.
For example, while some reviewers have praised Overnight Sensation for its mystery element, describing how they had no idea how it was going to end, what an intense imaginative ride it was, and how the plot twists surprised them, others have written that it was predictable.
And while some have written about how they couldn't put it down and how it made them want to keep reading, others have felt compelled to focus on some grammatical errors rather than the story itself.
Overnight Sensation has a lot of dialogue because it surrounds four teenage boys who are best friends that hang out together in school, in their homes, at parties, with girls... in other words, they do what many teenagers do. After turning over the first draft to my first editor, she said, "Instead of having the main character describe what is going on, you should have more dialogue between the boys, but refrain from using too much "I said" or "he said", as it becomes repetitive. If they're following the story, the reader already knows who's speaking." This made perfect sense to me, so I went back and added dialogue while pulling out many of those phrases. Still, some reviewers have stated that there's too much dialogue while others stated that they had trouble figuring out who was speaking...
Then there are reviews praising the accurateness of the dialogue saying things like how I must have teenage boys or how I must have consulted with teenagers because I nailed it, while another wrote how the dialogue seemed off and that teen boys don't talk like that. Well, the truth is out on this one - I do have teenage boys who are with their friends at our house all the time and I did consult with them on terminology and phrases, so let me assure those in doubt, that dialogue is as real as it gets!
So, if you're a writer and reviews of your book start to come in, I urge you to keep in mind these things when reading them:
You can't please everyone and you never will. However, if you keep at it, you will please some, and when that happens, when a reader clicks with your story and gets it and writes about it, it will put an extremely wide grin on your face.
If you write young adult fiction, or any genre for that matter, realize that there are millions of readers out there from age 12 to age 90 and their take on your book will be as varied as their age and experience.
And finally, when you get a review that makes you groan, go pick out some of your favorite books or authors of all time and read their reviews and look at their ratings. Know what you'll find? That your reviews and ratings are not far off from theirs. Sure, they may have a best seller with thousands of reviews, but it all comes down to the same thing. The joy of writing comes from pulling a story out of your brain and sharing it with the world and that's really all you should focus on because that's all you can control. The rest is up to interpretation.
Hi All! In case you stumbled on this blog, my name is Hal Eisenberg and I published my first young adult, contemporary novel, OVERNIGHT SENSATION, about 6 months ago. During this short period of time, I've been fortunate to get some great reviews and ratings and thought I'd share some of my observations with both writers as well as bloggers about them.
The fact that someone would actually take the time to read my book and then write down their thoughts is amazing to me. Especially since it does not follow the path of what's popular. For example, you won't find any shape shifters, demons, ghosts, or hunky vampires in love:). Instead, it deals with the real world and in particular, the real world's obsession and fascination with fame by asking the question, "What would you do if you suddenly became famous but didn't deserve that fame? Would you come clean? Or would you try like mad to hold on to that fame?" And it does it in what I hope is a clever, funny way.
I find it very gratifying to read the reviews of my book as they trickle in, even though it has not been out very long. I'm also amazed at the wide variances of opinions in those reviews.
For example, while some reviewers have praised Overnight Sensation for its mystery element, describing how they had no idea how it was going to end, what an intense imaginative ride it was, and how the plot twists surprised them, others have written that it was predictable.
And while some have written about how they couldn't put it down and how it made them want to keep reading, others have felt compelled to focus on some grammatical errors rather than the story itself.
Overnight Sensation has a lot of dialogue because it surrounds four teenage boys who are best friends that hang out together in school, in their homes, at parties, with girls... in other words, they do what many teenagers do. After turning over the first draft to my first editor, she said, "Instead of having the main character describe what is going on, you should have more dialogue between the boys, but refrain from using too much "I said" or "he said", as it becomes repetitive. If they're following the story, the reader already knows who's speaking." This made perfect sense to me, so I went back and added dialogue while pulling out many of those phrases. Still, some reviewers have stated that there's too much dialogue while others stated that they had trouble figuring out who was speaking...
Then there are reviews praising the accurateness of the dialogue saying things like how I must have teenage boys or how I must have consulted with teenagers because I nailed it, while another wrote how the dialogue seemed off and that teen boys don't talk like that. Well, the truth is out on this one - I do have teenage boys who are with their friends at our house all the time and I did consult with them on terminology and phrases, so let me assure those in doubt, that dialogue is as real as it gets!
So, if you're a writer and reviews of your book start to come in, I urge you to keep in mind these things when reading them:
You can't please everyone and you never will. However, if you keep at it, you will please some, and when that happens, when a reader clicks with your story and gets it and writes about it, it will put an extremely wide grin on your face.
If you write young adult fiction, or any genre for that matter, realize that there are millions of readers out there from age 12 to age 90 and their take on your book will be as varied as their age and experience.
And finally, when you get a review that makes you groan, go pick out some of your favorite books or authors of all time and read their reviews and look at their ratings. Know what you'll find? That your reviews and ratings are not far off from theirs. Sure, they may have a best seller with thousands of reviews, but it all comes down to the same thing. The joy of writing comes from pulling a story out of your brain and sharing it with the world and that's really all you should focus on because that's all you can control. The rest is up to interpretation.
