Jason Stadtlander's Blog

Every year the county fair fell around Elaine’s birthday making it the perfect birthday gift. Her friend Jack and his family would be joining Elaine and her parents this year. She would finally be able to share the collection of wonder and amazement that she loved so much. Perhaps she could even get her parents to try and get her a prize at one of the many carnival games – something her parents never seemed to give in to. Elaine salivated at the thought of the delicious food and rides as they danced in her head.

This year she read in the newspaper about a giant pumpkin that won grand prize; 1,260 pounds. It was hard to imagine how big that must be and Elaine was very excited to see it, moving it to the top of her ‘must see list’. She loved the animals, dog shows and frozen bananas which for some reason always tasted better in the crisp autumn air of the fair.

Sitting in her father’s minivan as they entered the gate she wore a grin from ear to ear as did Jack sitting next to her. They parked the van and she and Jack leaped out. Even from out here, the smell of French fries, fried dough and Italian sausage were overwhelming, instantly making Elaine hungry. Within two minutes, she convinced her parents to stop at the first few games – throwing darts at balloons and winning her a stuffed pig and some large fake dollar bills. She was having a blast!

Jack and his parents headed for the restroom, while she and her family made their way toward the giant pumpkin in the Fruits and Vegetable hall, weaving their way through the crowds of people. Elaine held her piggy in one hand and dollar bills in the other. Someone bumped into her and a few of the massive dollar bills fell out of her hand. She grabbed at them as they started to blow away. Elaine ran after it for about thirty feet and caught it, then stood up to rejoin her parents but they weren’t in front of her. They had not seen her stop and kept walking. Panic set in, she looked to the right, then to the left. Suddenly she felt very small, a little girl surrounded by a towering, moving mass of people. She dropped a dollar bill, she quickly grabbed it, she suddenly felt like it meant everything that she not lose what her mommy and daddy won her. She grabbed it and squeezed it and her stuffed piggy tightly, standing alone in the crowd as it ebbed and flowed around her in a frightening blaze. For a fleeting moment she saw her mother, then realized it was a woman with similar hair but not her mother. The woman looked at her and saw the fear in Elaine’s eyes, looked away and paused; tapping the man on the shoulder next to her she looked back again. She came back to Elaine and knelt down.

“Sweetie, are you lost?”

Elaine’s blue eyes filled with tears and she nodded, squeezing the pink stuffed animal tighter. She didn’t say anything to the woman because she was told to never talk to strangers, but she was so scared she didn’t know what to do.

“What’s your name?” the woman asked her.

“Elaine.” She replied, trembling.

“Elaine, I’m Julie, this is Nevin. Are you here with your parents?”

She nodded.

“Where did you see your parents last?”

She said nothing, though she wanted to tell them that she had seen them at the entrance to the building.

“It’s okay, we’ll help you find them.”

Elain began, “We were going to the giant pumpkin and then…” she looked around nervously.

“Julie, the lost children’s booth is just around the corner. Let’s take her over there.” Nevin said to the woman.

Julie looked at the small red head who was trembling, she put her hand gently on the girl’s shoulder.

“We’re going to help you find your parents. Okay?”

Elaine nodded, feeling the world spinning, her heart racing and uncertain.

Walking towards the lost children’s booth, Nevin spotted a police officer and walked over to him, explaining the situation. He looked down at Elaine and smiled, “Elaine, I’m Officer Tom. Your parents are looking for you. Will you come with me?”

Elaine squeezed Julie’s hand. Julie bent down, “It’s okay. He’s a policeman. He’ll help you find your mommy and daddy, okay?” and she softly passed Elaine’s hand over to Officer Tom.

The two walked to the lost children’s booth, but her parents weren’t there. For thirty minutes she sat at a small chair at a table, playing with a puzzle with her right hand, gripping piggy tightly with her left hand. She tried to act like she wasn’t scared, but the fear was overpowering. Officer Tom talked to her and told her about his own little boy. “I remember a time when I lost my son when he was three. We were at a really big store that sold coats. He was really scared, but we were scared too. You’re parents already checked in here and they went back to go see if they could find you. They’ll be back soon.”

Finally, her father showed up at the door to the booth and the police officer greeted him. “She was found over near the entrance to the picnic area.”

“Oh god Elaine! We were so scared!” He bent down and hugged her tightly. She wrapped her arms and legs around her father and for the first time let go of the piggy and started to cry, relieved to have found her parents.

A newspaper slapped the door and landed on the porch with the normal thud. Elaine turned her bike around and headed down the driveway in the cool early morning toward the next house. Thud—the next newspaper landed squarely where she threw it. She had a saddlebag over her, the front was half full of newspapers and the back had yet to be emptied, weighing heavily on her.

Elaine had gotten the newspaper route five months ago to earn some extra money and she had saved up enough for the iPod touch she had been wanting. She was also planning to do some shoveling once the snow started to fall. At the moment she was finding great joy in the crisp late fall air. There was no snow on the ground yet, but the smell of winter was abundant. 

Looking toward the next house, she failed to see the skateboard ramp that a child had left along the sidewalk, and her bike’s front tire caught the lip on the side of the ramp. Elaine was thrust over the handlebars so fast she didn’t have time to think. She put her hand out to catch her fall but landed hard on her shoulder and her head slammed into the ramp. Despite the protection of her helmet, Elaine’s vision began to blur and she could feel herself losing consciousness. Just before she passed out, she saw a woman walking toward her in a long dress or nightgown. The woman had long dark hair and reached out for her just as Elaine’s vision filled with white and she went unconscious.

As awareness returned, Elaine heard sirens in the distance. Slowly, she opened her eyes and saw a man looking down at her; there was a bright light on the ceiling above. She tried to sit up and look around but couldn’t move her head. She held up her right arm, then her left. Missing from her left arm was the charm bracelet that her mother had given her for her fifth birthday.

“Don’t move. We have your head stabilized for the trip. You’re in an ambulance,” the man said.

Suddenly Elaine’s head hurt badly and a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Do you know what happened?” he asked.

“Yeah.  A woman . . . No,” she replied groggily.

“What’s your name?” the man asked.

“Elaine. My name is Elaine. Who are you?” she asked.

“My name is Mark. I’m an EMT. We’re taking you to the hospital. Do you know what day it is?”

“Yeah it’s . . . Tuesday.”

“Good. And the date?” Mark asked.

“December eighth, I think.”

“Good. Just rest.”

“The woman—who was she?”

“I don’t know about a woman. A man called 911.  He saw you lying on the ground outside his house.”

Elaine was taken to the hospital where a few tests were performed and the doctor decided he wanted to monitor her for the day. As she lay, drifting in and out of sleep, her parents sat by her side. They only stepping out at three that afternoon to get a bite to eat downstairs.

Lying there, once again Elaine drifted off to sleep but awoke suddenly to a rustling noise. She opened her eyes to see the woman in a plain white dress she had seen earlier at the accident. She was stepping around the corner of her hospital room door, leaving. Elaine looked down at her bed and noticed her charm bracelet in her closed hand; the same bracelet that had fallen off during her bike accident.

A few seconds later her parents walked through the door. “Who was that?” Elaine asked.

“Who was who? Your father and I have been out in the hall for a few minutes by the nurse station. We didn’t see anyone,” Her mother replied.

“A woman. She was wearing a long dress—she just left.”

“Sweetie, no one has come or gone from your room in the last few minutes that we’ve seen.”

Elaine looked down again at the golden bracelet in her hand. A new charm now hung among the others on the delicate chain—a small heart, the side of which looked like an angel’s wing.

(Originally written for NPR’s Three Minute Fiction)

Jared remembered the trip with his fifth grade class from Philadelphia to Washington D.C. His mother had told him about it two weeks prior, and he began marking off the days leading up to the trip on his calendar before bed each night. Jared’s presentiment of seeing the famous buildings from his history books was overwhelming. The Pentagon, Capitol Building, Lincoln Memorial, and White House were swimming in his mind.

The tour of the White House had been magical, the spirits of famous men and important decisions made within those walls creating a buzz of excitement in Jared’s brain. The tour guide led his class down the halls where presidents had walked, passing through various rooms and finally stopping at the Map Room and Oval Office.

The historic room looked different than expected. The only real view Jared had seen as a television viewer was the desk with the window behind it. Five classmates walked about the periphery looking at paintings on the wall while he stood separately on the red-orange sunbeam carpet emblazoned with the presidential seal. Jared remained staring at the impressive wooden desk and could feel the history.

Two secret servicemen walked through the door followed by President Reagan. “Hello,” said the president, walking straight to Jared. “What’s your name?” His natural smile illuminated his face as he held out his hand.

“Jared. Jared Reddington, sir.”

“Well, Jared, would you like to see something special?”

Jared nodded bashfully. The president placed his hand on Jared’s shoulder, guiding him toward the back of the large desk. As they stood together, the president pointed to a cubbyhole beneath. “Do you see under there?”

Jared looked down at the space under the desk and back up at the president. “Yes.”

“Does it look like it would be fun to play there?” President Reagan asked with a mischievous smile.

Jared smiled. “Yes.”

“I know a child who played down there. His name was John F. Kennedy Junior. He played there while his daddy sat here working.”

Jared was amazed that a president had children. “Did your son ever play under there?”

President Reagan laughed. “No. My son was grown by the time I was elected. Do you know what else?”

“What?” the boy asked inquisitively.

The president bent down to Jared’s height. Smiling, he whispered, “Your children could play under this desk. All you have to do is become president.”

~

Jared now stood on the presidential seal of the United States looking down at a similar but not identical carpet to the one he had seen as a boy. His gaze shifted to the desk he had first set eyes on thirty-six years earlier, and President Reagan’s words echoed in his memory. All you have to do is become president.

Once again, Jared stepped around behind the impressive piece of furniture. Grabbing the chair, he pulled it back and sat down at the desk that was now his. Space beneath appeared much smaller now. He smiled just as his five-year-old, Stephen, yelled from down the hall.

“Daddy! There’s a statue of an old man in the . . . ” the boy stopped abruptly at the entrance to the Oval Office. “What’s wrong, Daddy?”

“Come here, Stephen,” Jared said.

Walking over to the desk, Stephen stopped and stood next to his father. “You see under there?”  asked Jared, pointing.

“Yes.”

“Looks like a fun place to play, huh?”

Stephen looked up at his father and smiled in eager anticipation. “Yes.”

The President tossed his son’s hair. “Go on then,” he said laughing, “play!”

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Michael lay with his head on the soft, down pillow as he watched his wife’s chest. The rhythmic rise and fall of her bosom under the old, cotton nightgown. This ancient familiar warmth had given him the strength to start his day for the last sixty-six years. His eyes moved down toward her legs, which were covered under the white knitted blanket. Her old hands with skin now so thin that the form of every vein, ligament, and bone shown through them as they lay upon the cover. He could hear birds outside the open window but did not want to look toward it, did not want to take his eyes from the view before him. Slowly, he turned his head upward and looked at her face, asleep, so peaceful.

Her white hair flowed down and around the edges of her face, framing it in ethereal beauty. Her flawless skin made her appear twenty years younger, despite the wrinkles around her eyes and mouth. When she smiled, the lines disappeared, and the room was filled with light.
She wasn’t smiling now, just sleeping, softly sleeping.

He thought back to last week as they sat at dinner when she smiled at him before she passed out, and the pain struck him.

Step back, it was her birthday as she blew out the candles with the number “88” on the cake.

Step back, the boat ride on Lake Erie with their grandson and two great-grandchildren. Michael held Beth’s hand and sat as the wind blew their white hair, filled with the smell of the lake.

Step back, their fiftieth anniversary as they sat at the restaurant, surrounded by friends and family. So many people that had touched their lives over the years together, standing tall despite the odds.

Step back, in the shade of the trees, as they walked through the park, pushing their grandson in his stroller, autumn freshly fallen and the leaves blowing in small vortices around them.

Step back, the nightmare he had awoken to, his daughter, Jennie dying in a car accident as she drove along the coast. But it wasn’t a dream, it was a memory. Beth had held him as he cried, and in turn, he had cradled her as she cried, her sobs shaking his shoulder.
Step back, their grandson had come into the world, and Beth sat in the hospital room chair holding the newborn baby boy, his soft, perfect skin, and an entire life before him.

Step back, Jennie was walking down the aisle and Michael, as nervous as the day that he lifted his own bride’s veil years ago – gave Jennie’s hand to her new husband, Robert.

Step back, Jennie introduced Robert to her mother and father on the front porch as Michael stood with his shotgun in hand, always the dramatic flair. Robert had taken one look at the gun and stepped back. Beth then grabbed the gun from Michael and pumped the gun, opening the chamber and showing it was not loaded but merely a scare tactic.

Step back, Jennie handed a hand-made ornament that she had created for her father in second grade. Her long golden hair cascading down her shoulders as she smiled with great anticipation as he opened the tissue wrapped ornament.

Step back, Beth handed Michael their newborn daughter. He took the swaddled baby and gently cradling it in his arms, feeling alien to the idea of holding a child. “She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” He had said. “Next to you, of course.” He had quickly added.
Step back, Michael adjusted his bowtie. So nervous, that his hands were shaking. He had been madly in love with Beth since he was 17, and now, here he stood in the room adjacent to the sanctuary, about to take her hand in marriage. “Dear God, please help me to follow your guidance. Help me to protect and love her for the rest of my life.”

At the altar, he had lifted her veil and kissed her. Beth had whispered in his ear, “Will you love me for the rest of my life?” to which he had replied, “For all of your life and a day, my love.”

Back in the present, the warm bedclothes wrapped Michael in a cocoon of warmth, yet a chill ran up his spine. He reached his hand out and touched Beth’s face. She opened her bright blue eyes and looked at him, a flash of sorrow in her eyes as she felt her body failing her. Beth looked into her husband’s eyes, “It’s time.” She said.

Michael nodded and petted her hair. “Shh, I know. It’s okay.” He whispered.

“Will you love me for the rest of my life?” she asked, as she had asked thousands of times over their years together. He shook his head gently as a single tear streamed down his face, and his lips trembled.

“No. I’ll love you for the rest of mine, and a day.” He replied and wrapped his arms around her as she took her last breath.
Michael lay there for an hour, unable to move, just holding Beth in his arms, sobbing.