Jen Merrill's Blog

Today’s Band Music Friday comes a day early because I’ve just read a news story and I AM RAGING. Screaming hot pissed because a school board in Wisconsin is meeting to decide if the Watertown High School band will be “allowed” to perform Omar Thomas’s Mother of a Revolution. Why, you might ask? There are no questionable lyrics, as it’s a wind ensemble piece. There are no controversial theatrics, no profanity from anyone, even the conductor (which would be valid, because hot damn I was a band dir...

My dad died from Parkinson’s. Not a Parkinson’s-related injury, like a fall or choking, but in his sleep Parkinson’s crept in and killed him.

Tom has gotten me hooked on Shrinking, the Harrison Ford show on Apple TV. I avoided it for ages, because the Harrison Ford character has Parkinson’s and I didn’t want to deal with that. But goddamn, this show is so well written and perfectly acted that I fell I fell in love with it and it angers me. It angers me because I don’t write that well and it a...

I’ve long said that time has no meaning, but today? Hoooooboy. Time is truly bereft of worth this fine day.

Why is this?

Because today, the wee babe who made me the mom I am today, the lil kid who kept me on my toes, the young adult working on launching into the world…that person is 25 today.

I am far too young to have a 25-year-old child. I say this because I am all of 17 years upon this earth, a delicate flower of innocence and charm, far too lovely to have a full grown-ass adult as ...

A couple weeks ago I posted this on Threads:

As you can see, the metrics indicate I hit a nerve.

Everyone I know is struggling. I literally cannot think of a single person who is not hurting, just trying to get through the days, wishing for something to look forward to, wanting life to ease up for a second. Instead we get daily trauma dumps and horrors done in our name. Every day is harder than the one before, and the gears of my coping mechanisms are starting to rust and stutter.

...

When you checked off a bucket list item before even knowing what that was

When I was in middle school, my band director gave us all some life advice that’s stuck with me ever since. Sometimes it’s stuck like a prickly burr between my toes and won’t come loose, but stuck nonetheless.

“Get in the parade; don’t let the parade pass you by.”

He was encouraging us to get involved in life, not to stand on the sidelines and watch, but to dive in and have experiences. And lo, how I have done th...

Photo by Yaopey Yong on Unsplash

Yes, hello. I am here to scream into the abyss.

Sorry ma’am, abyss is closed for maintenance.

Uh, I paid for unlimited access, no restrictions whatsoever. The super duper ultimate no-holds-barred, I raised two G2e kids, I’m the gooey center of the sandwich generation, constant midlife crisis, the world is fucking ending, perimenopause can go consume a satchel of Richards, full open bar 24/7/365(6) access. Get the hell outta my way, I have an abyss to fil...

Bandertainment: The act of providing online music education in an entertaining format to middle school band students during a global pandemic

One of the few, and I mean VERY few (as in this is the only one), things I miss about teaching through Covid was introducing new wind band music to my students. Every day, without fail, I started class with the Band Piece of the Day. It started as a way to create some sort of structure as well as kill 3-30 minutes of class time. Hey, no side eye...

Photo courtesy of Gratisography

Last week I was featured on the Hopelessly Gifted podcast, chatting about giftedness and parenting and burnout. I’ve marinating in burnout for so long that I’m mentally and emotionally wrinkly. I originally wrote this post over on Substack last October before I was laid off; I think I may have written part of it over the summer. I dunno, time has no meaning and the rules are made up. Things are definitely better now, but hooooooboy it was touch and go there for aw...

Twenty years I opened a browser window and started writing the blog that became Laughing at Chaos. It was the era of mommy bloggers (lord do I loathe that term) and I fell in love with writing for the first time since picking up a flute at age 9. What started with random musings soon became a blog on parenting neurocomplex twice-exceptional kids. Laughing at Chaos led to a book, If This is a Gift, Can I Send It Back?, which led to presentations and keynotes and becoming quite well-known in ...

When I started this here blog, way back in The Year of Our WTF 2006, it had a different name. It worked until I was tired of seeing the word never in the title. Too negative, it wore on me, …

The post I want my word back appeared first on Laughing at Chaos.