Buffi Neal's Blog: Wonderfully Dysfunctional

Wonderfully Dysfunctional is on kindle count-down sale this weekend for $1.99.  This memoir has hit the best seller list 12 months in a row for memoirs.  I hope you get to grab a copy.




If you are interested in being a formal reviewer and would like a free copy of the book, please let me know and I'll put you on the list for our upcoming Barnes & Noble review tour.
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Wonderfully Dysfunctional was rated #1 Amazon Best Selling Family Memoir!Huge Thanks to YOU.

As my children grow and become more independent, their time with me decreases.  Just yesterday my son was ridding piggy-back and my daughter snuggled her teddy bears.  Now my boy towers over me like a grown man and my girl is driving a car.

Just one very short year ago I rang in the New Year with my teens by my side.  We taught the younger nieces to slam pots and pans at the stroke of midnight and we passed out on the floor in one big family heap.  This year both teens were at parties and I was just a taxi.

We all know that children grow up and if you’ve done your job as a parent, they grow up to be independent.  But I’m not ready.  Really.  Every day I think of things I’ve forgotten to tell my kids about life, love, happiness and the future. 

Then life turns our conversations to:  “Can I have a ride Mom,”  “I’m going to the mall Mom,”  “What’s for dinner Mom,” and “I’ll see ya tomorrow Mom.”

It’s the end of the day.  I’ve handed out twenties like bubblegum and burned through two tanks of gas, not a wise word spoken.  And the days tick on…

My kids communicate through email, Snap-Chat and Instagram.  But I resist.  I can’t be that mom who talks to her kid through Snap-Chap!  But I also don’t want to be that mom who regrets all of the things she forgot to say.  So I made a plan.

Every time I think of something important to tell my teens, I’ll shoot them an email entitled, “Just in case I forget to tell you…”  I’ll talk about college choices, or how proud I am of them, or that they have a doctor’s appointment at the end of the week.  I won’t make any rules about the content of the emails and I won’t expect a response.  But at least I’ll know I haven’t forgotten. 

I’ll sign my emails with “Just in case I forget to tell you, I love you to the moon and back.”

Some may think it’s pathetic that I’m using email to send messages to my teens.  I might agree.  But I could sit around yearning for the days of old forcing them to watch reruns of the Walton’s while I conjure up meaningful conversation.  Instead I’ve decided to meet them in their own world of iPhones and instant messages.

How do you connect with your kids?P.S. Can someone email this to my kids… just in case I forget to.

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Wonderfully Dysfunctional was rated #1 Amazon Best Selling Family Memoir!Huge Thanks to YOU.

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Wonderfully Dysfunctional was rated #1 Amazon Best Selling Family Memoir!Huge Thanks to YOU.

I've been told that long hair breeds bad behavior. So, I'm posting this for all the moms with long-haired boys that are misbehaving. If only you had known that a simple haircut would have solved your problems. No longer do you need to teach your boy to be a good person. Simply chop off those nasty locks of hair and watch the magic! Don't take any chances, cut your girl's hair too. People will think your kids are respectable and so they will be. Right?
In the article Boys hair: long or short by Christina Sbarro, her husband argues, "...boys with long hair grow up to be irresponsible, carefree, wanderers, who don't know how to hold down a regular job. Said long haired boys might join a low-life garage band, or be influenced by the wrong crowd, and in general, would be disadvantaged in the corporate world of "grown up" America." Do you think she agreed? Nope.

If it were completely my decision, I would let my young boy have whatever hairstyle he wanted. If he started to misbehave, I would grab a big can of "no more video games" before grabbing the clippers.

As an adult he may need to worry about how others perceive him, but as a child I need to worry about how he perceives himself.


To clip or not to clip?  What's your opinion?Thanks for stopping by.  Enter your email address: Update on the book:
Wonderfully Dysfunctional was rated #1 Amazon Best Selling Family Memoir!Huge Thanks to YOU.

Tonight I reserve just for meA bath, a book, a cup of teaMy day was spent just like the restJob and family, I do my best
Laundry, bills, some dishes tooCome, I’ll read that book to youDress-up time is always funKids in bed, the day is done
Fast asleep my children layThis I’ve waited for all dayTo take some time to pamper meMy bath, my book, my cup of tea
To your bedside I am drawnTouch your cheeks, how they are warmReaching down to kiss your hairI close my eyes and say a prayer
Someday you’ll be grown up tooNow’s the time for me and youSo in the bed with you I layMy bath can wait just one more day.                                    - Buffi  2002

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Wonderfully Dysfunctional was rated #1 Amazon Best Selling Family Memoir!Huge Thanks to YOU.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "It takes courage to love..."  Sorry Eleanor, but I disagree. I think it’s easy to love.

As a young Mama, I held my babies close. I memorized every freckle on their little noses. I knew the origin of each bruise and scrape. Oh how I love my babies.

It’s 10 o’clock and I’m picking up my teens from the movie theatre. Cell phones and bras replace the pacifiers and diapers. I bite a nail for each minute I wait to see them safely enter my car. Tonight, when they’re fast asleep, I’ll hold them tight again.

My children teach me: It’s easy to love. It takes courage to let go.

Blogging has opened me up to an audience of passionate, intelligent, funny and sometimes crazy people. I read your blogs and I’m in love. I envy the freedom you have with your words. How can I be that funny or poetic? I hit the “publish” button and cringe. I read my post a dozen times and it never sounds good enough.

Blogging reminds me: It’s easy to love. It takes courage to let others love you.

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Update on the book:
Wonderfully Dysfunctional was rated #1 Amazon Best Selling Family Memoir!Huge Thanks to YOU.

When I was sixteen, ���dancin��� with Molly��� meant you were watching the ending of Sixteen Candle���s. This week they were the censored lyrics in a song performed by the almost-naked Miley Cyrus at the VMA. I never thought I���d miss Hannah Montana.
When I was sixteen, graphic design meant you perfected a house on your Etch-A-Sketch and Mrs. Pac-Man was a modern chic.

When I was sixteen, a pool was guaranteed to be overflowing with any sweaty kid within a five mile radius. Today, sweat-free kids sit in their bedrooms sporting life-like guns on video games; the sound of ���Marco-Polo��� replaced with the voices of online strangers screaming obscenities after a good kill.

When I was sixteen, a season���s pass to an amusement park was reserved for the very rich or the stupidly spoiled. Today, unused season���s passes rot at the bottom of our kids��� Coach and Nike bags.

Yes, I long for the days when Rubik���s Cube was modern and Magic-Eight-Ball was my decision maker, but my teens force me to live in today���s world of Snap-Chat and iTunes. How do I cope? I force them to watch reruns of Colombo and The Odd Couple. Movies like Jaws and Rocky help bridge the gap from my sixteen to theirs.

And if all else fails, I grab my Coach Bag, buy the kids some $5 latte���s, and head over to the overpriced dine-in-theatre where we���ll watch a movie my parents still won���t let me see.

How are you coping with the new Molly?Thanks for stopping by.  Enter your email address:


Update on the book:
Wonderfully Dysfunctional was rated #1 Amazon Best Selling Family Memoir!Huge Thanks to YOU.

When I was sixteen, “dancin’ with Molly” meant you were watching the ending of Sixteen Candle’s. This week they were the censored lyrics in a song performed by the almost-naked Miley Cyrus at the VMA. I never thought I’d miss Hannah Montana.
When I was sixteen, graphic design meant you perfected a house on your Etch-A-Sketch and Mrs. Pac-Man was a modern chic.

When I was sixteen, a pool was guaranteed to be overflowing with any sweaty kid within a five mile radius. Today, sweat-free kids sit in their bedrooms sporting life-like guns on video games; the sound of “Marco-Polo” replaced with the voices of online strangers screaming obscenities after a good kill.

When I was sixteen, a season’s pass to an amusement park was reserved for the very rich or the stupidly spoiled. Today, unused season’s passes rot at the bottom of our kids’ Coach and Nike bags.

Yes, I long for the days when Rubik’s Cube was modern and Magic-Eight-Ball was my decision maker, but my teens force me to live in today’s world of Snap-Chat and iTunes. How do I cope? I force them to watch reruns of Colombo and The Odd Couple. Movies like Jaws and Rocky help bridge the gap from my sixteen to theirs.

And if all else fails, I grab my Coach Bag, buy the kids some $5 latte’s, and head over to the overpriced dine-in-theatre where we’ll watch a movie my parents still won’t let me see.

How are you coping with the new Molly?Thanks for stopping by.  Enter your email address:


Update on the book:
Wonderfully Dysfunctional was rated #1 Amazon Best Selling Family Memoir!Huge Thanks to YOU.

I missed my flight today. No, it wasn���t because of traffic. It wasn���t car trouble. I can���t even blame it on the kids this time. It was my acts-like-a-90-year-old memory. How does that happen? How could I forget what time my flight was.
Wish I could say this was an isolated incident, but I���m losing my memory faster than dad���s losing his teeth.   Here���s a glimpse of how my memory is wreaking havoc on my life:
I show up on the wrong day for doctor���s appointments and blame it on my damn iPhone calendar.I get half-way through my shower and forget whether or not I washed my hair.I forget I���m cooking. I have to set a timer-alarm to remind me there���s food on the stove;
except I usually forget to set the alarm.I forget what the kids asked me a minute ago. What���d ya say, you young wiper-snapper?I never remember where I���m driving. If it weren���t for my lovely Australian GPS man, I���d be wondering the streets of neighboring towns wondering if I was late for something.Hey, maybe all those stress dreams are really premonitions of times to come. You know the dreams���  The one where your sitting in school, remembered the homework, forgot the clothes.

Or my personal favorite: the one where you forgot something at the beach ��� frantically digging in the sand ��� I���m pretty sure I left the baby here a minute ago���

If my memory is any gage of my actual age, then I���m gunna need depends before the year is out.

How has your mind failed you lately?
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Please support me with your honesty.

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I missed my flight today. No, it wasn’t because of traffic. It wasn’t car trouble. I can’t even blame it on the kids this time. It was my acts-like-a-90-year-old memory. How does that happen? How could I forget what time my flight was.
Wish I could say this was an isolated incident, but I’m losing my memory faster than dad’s losing his teeth.   Here’s a glimpse of how my memory is wreaking havoc on my life:
I show up on the wrong day for doctor’s appointments and blame it on my damn iPhone calendar.I get half-way through my shower and forget whether or not I washed my hair.I forget I’m cooking. I have to set a timer-alarm to remind me there’s food on the stove;
except I usually forget to set the alarm.I forget what the kids asked me a minute ago. What’d ya say, you young wiper-snapper?I never remember where I’m driving. If it weren’t for my lovely Australian GPS man, I’d be wondering the streets of neighboring towns wondering if I was late for something.Hey, maybe all those stress dreams are really premonitions of times to come. You know the dreams…  The one where your sitting in school, remembered the homework, forgot the clothes.

Or my personal favorite: the one where you forgot something at the beach – frantically digging in the sand – I’m pretty sure I left the baby here a minute ago…

If my memory is any gage of my actual age, then I’m gunna need depends before the year is out.

How has your mind failed you lately?
Thanks for stopping by.
Please support me with your honesty.

Enter your email address:


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