Lina Cuartas's Blog

Meditation # 25 L O V E, L O V E, L O V E…At this point in the year-long process I have embarked upon, with full commitment and mindfulness as I approach my 44th birthday on August 22nd, and as an homage to my mother, whose health was severely impacted last year and with whom I initially did these meditations over the phone, based on Macrina Wiederkehr’s book, Behold Your Life, I reached a magical island last time, with Meditation #24. That last shared reflection was about Water, and I celebrated life and its impetus, how it picks us up and thrusts us into new experiences, into thrills, into sorrows, and manages to erode us like everything else it touches, but also defies us to become resilient and to embrace change; adapting like water itself to the new containers we become as each life passage forces us to bow to the thrust of new situations, new people and our ever-evolving identities. Since then, I have felt like Jonah inside the whale, sitting and watching with eyes wide open as life led me to explore the Supreme Emotion, as Barbara Frederickson calls Love in her fascinating book, Love 2.0Love is a constant ace in our arsenal to deal with life’s challenges, and it requires, like any other emotion, maturation, practice and active pursuit of mastery. I am a child of divorce, so my life-quest to understand Love and its mutations started with my own bafflement as to how two people who swore fidelity and union gradually experienced a process that turned the very love that had been the foundation of their marriage into bitterness, isolation and deceit until it eroded, like a sand castle, into the sea. When I felt my own heart stirred and my whole self summoned by meeting someone at the impressionable age of 18 whom I recognized as my life-partner, I had no doubts. I had promised myself to follow my heart and its designs since childhood, and I did. My conviction caused upheaval, criticism, skepticism and scandal, but follow my heart I did, and it has proven to have known exactly what it was whispering; the path to Love is not rational, not straight, and not for the faint at heart. I have tried to make my life a living experiment of Love in its many forms, by keeping my heart open and inviting love to preside as the CEO of my every decision. Now I am learning that Love alters the invisible chemistry of our body and brain in such powerful ways that it causes identical changes in the bodies and brains of people who surround us. Love is unfolding between strangers, it ties friends and binds lovers, but, literally it is truly a communal phenomenon, a one-meaningful encounter at a time-mind transformer which depends on connection and can change and evolve whole communities, families and societies. If the bonds that hold us together are strengthened and cultivated, we all benefit from Love in a way that transcends the actual individual to individual affection transactions.
I am getting ready to start life in a new place, a house of peculiar characteristics where, when I saw it for the first time, I knew I would be guiding meditation workshops, teaching art, self-love and trying to communicate what I have come to learn and understand about Love and its power to transform individual lives, making us realize the power of connection, and helping us realize how we are all really united, connected, and interdependent, strengthen community and create waves of healing, growth and resilience that can physically alter the ratios of negativity and darkness of our world. The House of Love will be a place where people can share their stories, contribute their gifts, grow their hearts and find meaning and solace in a community where we will encourage one another to fall in love with life, one day at a time. Can you summon Love to preside in your heart and home too?With L O V E,Lina.

The Daily Death, Meditation #21
I died a little yesterday night. It has become habitual, and, in the scant maturity I have acquired at 43, it is woven tightly into my rituals of being alive, of keeping my heart open, of caring, of loving... to die a little every day in order to live while I am alive. And this last death allowed me to wonder if this is what critics label as blue or gray periods in artists' lives. This latest death heaped despair in my heart as I finally mustered courage to finish an article I had began three months ago, called Blood Ivory ( Nat Geo Mag, Oct 2012)about my favorite animals, elephants.I wanted to press control, alt, delete and reboot the relationship our civilization has developed with the mystery of the divine and our expressions of faith. How can destroying the gift of the life of the gentlest of giants, my beloved elephants, all for the ivory of its tusks, to carve inanimate objects, honor God? It is a crime perpetrated by Catholics and Buddhists, Hindus and atheists, but I fail to understand the utter lack of common sense that justifies this crime; hiding behind rationalizations of power, greed, need, or even worse, faith. My desire to voice, protest, rebel, educate, inform, pulled me out of the deep hole of my rage. I commit my spoken and written words, my heart, my art, my passion, to add drops of care and clarity to the trickle that might coalesce and create a river of reason to illuminate our behavior. Richard Feynman's words held my hand as I found my way back to face another day: "In order to make progress, one must leave the door to the unknown open- ajar only. We are only at the beginning of the development of the human race." And as this picture seems to whisper in my heart, there is always hope, as long as baby elephants and baby creatures of all sort keep making their entrance into our world, that we might just get it right the next time around... With love, Lina.

Meditation #20 The Call to BEI am back with my Meditations. The last one was short, concise and powerful, based on the fact that no-one can be better at being You than You, and this one will propel us further. The Call is To BE, to be more, to be holy, as Macrina Wiederkehr so daringly voices. But in her book "A Tree Full of Angels" she details it even further. To be holy in today's reality entails seeing the sacred in the ordinary in order to keep the spark of life ablaze within. In her meditation she confesses how the Church might have disillusioned and hurt her, either by changing too fast or by not changing at all, and I identified with this assertion. How many of us no longer feel the Church responds to our needs or feeds us, but the invitation is to forgive and move on, and to remember you are a "portable chapel". You carry God wherever you go, and every human encounter is Holy when approached in this light. She beautifully declares: "I want to be a bucket for the sharing of the water of life. " And, being echo to the invitations I am voicing in my Lunita Company page, the summons entail falling in love with life all over again; remaining aware of the sacred mystery of life; becoming artists at life. "Artists are those who have visions. There is something of and artist in ALL OF US. Artists have hungry hearts and hungry eyes; hungry for truth, hunger to understand, to know, to create, to see the depth of things. They are not satisfied with our ordinary, dim way of seeing."We conclude with her prayer: "Help me, Oh Lord, to help answer prayers. A Saint is one who exaggerates what the world neglects." With love, Lina.

“Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey.”
― John O'Donohue, 'Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom'
Powerful words posted by Alejandra Calle-Cook, they summarize Meditation #19, which follows the reflection on Nativity, so befittingly, we are summoning a new You, which is not your Ego, or your Profession, or your Relationships, it is the You that resides within, the one accessed through meditation, through serenity and the relentless, quiet pursuit of living with Presence and Mindfulness. 

"Tan sólo tu alma conoce la geografía de tu destino. Tu alma posee el mapa de tu futuro, por tanto, debes confiar en este lado oblicuo, indirecto de tu ser. Si lo haces, te llevará donde tienes que ir, pero aún más importante, te enseñara una dulzura de ritmo en tu jornada."
-John O'Donohue,'Anam Cara: Un libro de Sabiduría Celta'
Palabras poderosas compartidas por Alejandra Calle-Cook, resumen la Meditación #19, la que sigue a la reflexión sobre la Navidad, tan apropiadamente, estamos llamando a un nuevo Yo, aquel que no es tu Ego, ni tu Profesión, ni tus Relaciones, es el Yo que vive en ti, aquel al que llegamos al meditar, el que hallamos con serenidad y la permanente, callada búsqueda de vivir con Presencia y Conciencia.
Con Amor,
Lina.

Meditation #18 "All is well, You are Beloved"Last time we were pondering about Growing Pains and the sheer thrill of adolescence. This time around, precisely on Christmas, we are invited to reflect upon the presence of God in our lives. How has he manifested his power as your days have unfolded? I vividly recall an image that made me feel a Loving, Reassuring presence in a moment when I desperately needed it. I was eighteen years old and had left home to fly very, very far away, and as I was riding on a bus back home, crossing the barren, frozen landscape of Salt Lake City. I felt so lonesome and lost. There was a mother traveling with a child, and they caught my eye because the little girl's hair was a glowing, deep black wild mane, so much like mine, and as I watched, her mother took out a comb and started the loving ritual of untangling that blessed mess. She then carefully parted the thick, wavy locks and carefully wove them, trapping them into thick, strong braids that she decorated with red yarn. I felt like I was watching a scene from my own childhood, and I remembered my own Mother's loving hands brushing my hair, and I cried. Ironically, after my outburst, I felt reassured, comforted, and held within the certainty that I too had known love and that thought felt like a shield, an armorplate that life, in all its fierceness, could not penetrate. I had a Capital Mother, so it is perhaps logical that the most meaningful image of God I hold is a Mother's love. But sacred texts and theology offer some beautiful images, and perhaps one of them works best for you. My second best is the image of an eagle teaching her young to fly, or as I read it really happens, pushing them out of the nest. Other options include God as a shepherd, a lamb, a king, a warrior of righteousness, a ray of sunlight piercing the clouds (a definite winner on my list), a fiery spirit engulfing a brush, the masterful designer of the web of life, a bleeding heart, a friend who knows even the number of hairs on our heads, a loving friend who washes our feet, or a person just like you and me, who loved his way into splitting history in two.What is your vision of the Deity, the presence that reassures, glows from within and reminds you that all is well and that you are beloved, time and time again? Can it find shelter in your heart and be reborn once again, revealing your own Nativity?With Love and Light, wishing you a Rebirth of all sorts=)Lina.

I Have An Absolute Faith in the Capacity Human Beings for GoodA short overview of my life
I am from Colombia. My country is the gateway to South America, blessed by the waters of both the Pacific Ocean, to the west, and the Atlantic Ocean, to the north. We are rich in natural resources, such as coffee, emeralds, flowers, fruits and biodiversity.I have been teaching English and Spanish since I was fourteen years old, when I started tutoring other children at the bilingual school I attended in Colombia. I also started writing books when I was just a child, but did not publish my first one until 2001. When it comes to my art, I can’t remember a stage in my life when I was not recreating my surroundings with any material I found. I was always told art would not pay for a living, so I simply created out of an intense need to capture the magic of the world around me.The most life-altering experience I have had was living in the Amazon Rainforest for a year. I am a passionate advocate of nature, and the lessons I learned from the people and the animals I met in and around the River changed my outlook on life forever.I started creating and illustrating bilingual books because of my own children. I homeschooled when we lived in New Orleans, when we decided to make a new life in the U.S. I simply could not find the kind of books that I wanted them to read, so I decided to create them.  Later on, I had the opportunity to produce and anchor an educational television program in Colombia, geared for children. It was then that I understood the potential of a multimedia approach to language learning.I love learning about other cultures and countries, and have been fortunate to travel to many places and love to share my experiences. There is so much to be learned from other peoples’ everyday lives!I have two children, a 19 year old daughter and a 17 year old son who are still my favorite students. We speak Spanish at home and life goes on around us in English. We have always lived in the south because we do not like the cold, we definitely are tropical flowers. So far, we have lived in New Orleans, Dallas and we are enjoying San Antonio immensely.I was trained as a teacher and taught for twenty years. I have linguistics as a background, a passion for languages and the heart of an artist. I have had my own publishing company for six years. Thanks to it, I have also been able to help people to publish their own books. I am currently teaching art and meditation, tutoring and teaching English and Spanish and continuing to write and create art.I have been married to my Colombian sweetheart for 22 years, and we still are adding twigs to our nest. It has been a fascinating, ever-evolving journey.  Recently, I read that it is predicted that today’s professionals will be forced to redirect their careers an average of five times in their lifetimes. Looking back, I realize I have done precisely that, and this adventure has allowed me to discover hidden talents and to overcome fascinating new challenges. I dream about someday returning to the Amazon and creating a school and a native fishery where people can swim right along with the fish. I do not think my life’s surprises have all been unwrapped yet, there are still many productive years to come, and so are yours. Our journeys are still unfolding, promising so many exhilarating possiblilities, and who knows, the future of the rainforest and our sustainability might be in the hands of someone my art or my words can move to action. Perhaps one of you can unlock the puzzle of sustainable progress and you might be able to lead us so that, together, we might find a better way of living in our beloved planet without destroying it. I have an absolute faith in the limitless capacity of human beings for good. I believe that each and every one of us can label our life with a purpose. I think that is why I chose Lunita as the name of my company, which means little moon. I have always prayed to be light for others. Language is the magic code that allows us to explore the world and figure out what our role is within its unfolding mysteries. I hope that my books, my art and my stories become the treasure maps for this quest to many adventurous souls.  With Immense Love and Gratitude Always,Lina M. Cuartas

Meditation # 17 Growing Pains
We left off two weeks ago, with the unfolding of our sexual selves and very befittingly, last week my life was reshuffled in order to help someone dear to my heart and I decided to postpone this writing until I had crossed the bridge over troubled waters, knowing that there had to be something in my experiences that was meant to feed my words. Today, as I read a story about the Giant Sequoias in the new Nat Geo, I recalled my duty, as I read: "Giant Sequoias are gigantic because they are very, very old. They are so old because they have survived all the threats that could have killed them."Well, so have we, but growing pains truly never seem to go away. I remember reading in disbelief that the "terrible twos" are described by some psychologists as the first adolescence, when a child no longer feels dependent on Mom and Dad and reacts with the need to assert individuality, frequently with tantrums and very audible drama.And then, there is the very adequately named Adolescence: something hurts deep in the soul, we are not quite children anymore, drowning helplessly within deep thoughts and the surge of hormones and peer pressure that only make matters worse. A lack of a serious sort unnerves mind, body and soul and we can't stand even our own shadow. But during that stage, there was also an excitement, a curiosity, an unquenchable desire for thrills, adventures, discovery and a vibrant zest for what was yet to unfold in our lives. This is what I recall the most about my teen years and what I want to reclaim today. That glow of the novelty of life, of movement, of taste, of touch, of sight, of aroma. I remember the thrill of going by myself to the movies or taking a bus ride all alone, or with my sister, and deciding consciously that it was not truly a simple Circular Sur journey, it was an adventure, full to the brim with possibility, with people to be met, places to be seen, experiences to be lived, and I remember feeling that I was so lucky to be there, free to drink it all in, eagerly. This same thirst for change inspired me to leave my country, at the ripe old age of 18, all by myself, on a quest to find my destiny, packing fear and doubt in a locket without a key, and soaring high on fresh, strong wings. I stare at my forty-three year old self in the mirror and want to find the Brave Fledgling that hopped off the nest and somehow, managed to catch a warm wind. Peer with me into the mirror of life and back at your teenage self and refuel from the impetus of young, unrestrained heart and soul, and dare to jump once again into your life, with the vigor and advantages that only experience, wounds and time can provide. If you don't believe me, dare to learn more about the Giant Sequoias, the towering Masters of Survival. With Love and Zest,Lina.

Meditation #16 From Love to Sex
I am finally catching up, and as I was getting ready to write last night, I turned on CNN and watched a disconcerting report on "sexual reprogramming for homosexuals" carried on during decades by psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Our relationship with our bodies and especially, our sexuality, is still a very obscure topic, especially since it requires removing all masks and being open to pain and confusion.
I was brought up in a country where female beauty is idealized and sexualized highly from a very young age. I remember the taunting and familiarization with sex, gender roles and the relationship between men and women, or of those who felt attraction to those of the same sex, as always being at the core of jokes and conversations held not only among adults, but frequently shared and encouraged as a humorous talent among little ones: the telling and retelling of comical stories where the common denominator was always the ambiguity of language and how it served the purpose of ridiculing precisely what people repressed, the intense desires and conflicts that sexuality arose and that were so easily disguised as humor.
I look back at my adolescence and realize with horror that I was not only dancing with the devil, modeling in Medellín in the 1980’s, but surrounded by deceit. My hometown was dominated by drug-dealers and abundant dirty money, a pervasive game involving sophisticated scenarios such as the night clubs built precisely by that blood money and establishing a high stakes, fast-paced traffic of every single human desire, where young pretty girls were customarily just currency, and usually the cheapest commodity to be traded and used and abused at will. I look back at my self-image and credit my mother with the filter that allowed me to have a sense of dignity that prevented me from getting lost amidst the dazzling allure of the pleasure promised by the moment.
I found out about several unwanted pregnancies that happened very close to me as an adolescent and interestingly, fear of that ever happening to me was a big deterrent in my behavior. But looking back, even though I had the privilege of a mother who did not shirk conversations and questions about sexuality and always described sex as the most beautiful experience two people who loved each other could share, I wish I had understood earlier on, the psychological implications of sharing your body and soul with another human being. Very little discussion of this important part of sexuality is ever presented, not only at homes, but at school, and our society, represented mainly by the media, insists on portraying sex as a casual, non-committing, non-binding encounter that is presented as seeming to involve two bodies, but very rarely includes the consequences of the encounter between two souls and two visions of the world.
I have observed the reactions to sexual scandals in the media and among people and see how usually the behavior is examined as a deviation and analyzed from the guilt and shame perspective, the highlight is often the disgrace at having been careless enough to have been caught, while analysis of the complex issues of fidelity, power, and human weakness and sexuality are overlooked, or simply denied. We seem to believe that like Dorian Gray, we can use our representations of reality, our portraits, consisting on the facades we present to the world, our powerful stances, positions, or possessions, as shields from the truth of who we are; complicated, fallible beings who need to be willing to stare their humanity in the face to fully understand their weaknesses and also their beauty, which is most majestically revealed precisely when we confront our vulnerabilities.
Only by opening our minds, bodies and souls to inquiry, to questions, to longings, to desires, to unfulfilled needs, can we fully inhabit our sexuality, and allow the real You to seek connection with another. Just as when we lay our clothing aside to allow another to become one with us, masks and fears need to be shed, in all three dimensions, forming a bond of unbreakable communion. We spontaneously inhabited our sexuality even as babies when we were held, breastfed, cuddled, massaged and explored our bodies, and we were reminded that we were loved. Sadly, our upbringing may have distorted our perceptions of who we are as sexual selves, but the way back requires re-learning who we are and learning to love and accept ourselves.
Before we can even begin to comprehend the far-reaching effects of a sexual encounter with another person, regardless of our sexual orientation, we need to understand human connections, relationships, affection, conversation, empathy: the gift of looking into another’s eyes and putting down the walls to allow the real selves to shine through and venture to reach out and let the sparks fly. Only then might we find our paths to understanding the fire that is created when two human beings melt one into another and find an echo, a mirror, a bridge that allows them to fuse into the divinity of another. Only through love we can understand this power, but it starts with the love we must first feel for our own selves; Love is the beginning of a healthy sexuality. 
With love, Lina. 

Meditation # 15 Dancing Around the Fire
Let me hold your hand as we move from school memories about longing to belong and evolving new selves onto the trunk that is filled with our most cherished and joyous memories of our school days. We are invited to focus on the laughter, the wonder urged by the thrill of discovery of the gifts we found in our hearts, such as friendship and caring for our oth
ers; the new muscles being flexed in our brains, as we were led to explore our creativity and new skills were developed; and our physicality, as we were taught to enjoy sports and games with others. I remember vividly asking everyone I met about their after-school activities. I enjoyed school so much that I longed to stay active and engaged once the bell rang for dismissal. I now realize that might have been precisely the seed that matured into the books I have written; inspired by the urgency I felt to make the best of every day, to learn and explore the world relentlessly.
This weekend, I was reminded of the careless intense joy achieved while lost at play in the most magical way imaginable. I ended up dancing around a bonfire, laughing and singing with abandon at a phenomenal party to which I had not even been invited originally. Life conspired so that I could meet a new friend who needed to be reminded of her value, surrounded by love and care, and so we danced around a swirling bonfire, praying for fertility, joy and hope to flood her heart and body. I felt like a little girl, and allowed the powerful pull of the collective to surge through me. I surrendered to the primal irresistible pull of beating drums and syncopated human hearts and the seduction of the fire, which filled us all with euphoria as we shared intentions and the sincere desire for the well-being and happiness of a soul in need, mercy and compassion uniting us all.
In this very moment, I watch with trepidation fire and smoke burning as Gaza and Israel tumble to the ground in a tight suicidal embrace, brother against brother, blind strokes aiming at innocents and instigators, and I wonder…
Can we surround the burning fires of our self-destruction with the forces of self-less love,
the belief in hope,
the defiance of optimism amidst tragedy,
the confidence of forgiveness disarming betrayal, and manage to defeat the burning fires of doubt and fear with the love shared by beating and caring human hearts. I think about the millions of children that are being denied a serene, happy day at school or at home because of our adult complications, and I wonder if we, the lucky few who knew days filled with laughter and now have the gift of happy memories to cherish, can feel summoned to surround their wounds with prayers and care and manage to find the heart to persist and never desist and insist on dancing around the bonfire.
With love and an intense desire for peace in my heart,
Lina.

Meditation#14 The Shedding of Selves
I have always been fascinated by exoskeletons, whether those of the cicadas or the shriveled snake skins I found so often in the Amazon and Louisiana wilderness, or by the ones I have found on beaches, my treasured seashells.  Often, I have contemplated how even as the time passes and our children leave behind clothes, shoes and toys, these too are like armor that has been outgrown and discarded, requiring newer wardrobes to accommodate the growing bodies of manifold creatures. Nature seems to adapt and easily transform whether it be the growth of a bigger body or a completely new self in order to allow development and growth to continue unfolding. What then signals the need for a new soul, a bigger heart or a higher state of being when life seems to reach a new stage of existence?
In this particular meditation we are invited to reflect on the many times in life in which we have so longed to belong to a group, to be lost in the collective and feel like a cherished crucial part of a jigsaw puzzle. In early childhood, this becomes a particularly powerful desire as the transition from home into school allows us to observe how the others around us dress, play, talk and behave. Our immature selves were particularly eager to please and be accepted no matter what the cost or sacrifice we had to make. How many times we agonized about being the last to be chosen for a team or the one not invited to a party or to participate in a simple game and perhaps even about not having the right kind of clothes? How many times a kind gesture or a word saved the day, and opened a fold where we could be part of the group and feel included. The longing to fit in and be valued was very strong and if never understood and rationalized, it might make us obsess about fitting in and feel that we need to possess all kinds of things in order to feel worthy or accepted.
How often have we realized that when we dare follow our own hearts and make choices based upon our own individual tastes and preferences, this simple act reveals fascinating details about who we are? Have we developed enough certainties about who we are that our exoskeletons do not need to match the collective for us to feel comfortable? Can we defy the powerful pull of uniformity to dare to be different and shed the masks that hide our real selves? Can we remember with a grateful heart the people who welcomed us and helped us to learn to trust who we were in order to belong?
So often, our own attitude can be a catalyst or a blockage as to how the people who surround us decide to act, depending on whether we encourage them to feel free to reveal who they are in all sincerity, or if we carry the sword of our judgement and the shield of our criticism. Can we depose our fears and act with such spontaneity and genuine authenticity that we encourage others to be confident to be who they are, plain and simple, and excel at what the only assignment we are all expected to excel at: merely being our true selves, selves that are free to be shed and to evolve as the never-ending surprises of our lives unfold. With love, Lina.