Ashton Cartwright

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Ashton Cartwright

Goodreads Author


Born
in Australia
Website

Twitter

Genre

Member Since
May 2012


Ashton Cartwright is a part time author, full time poker player, and all the time hair model.

A dedicated Juggalo, as well as a master of mathematics; he happily lists his three favorite things as "Profit and money," which enlightens us all to the virtues of his pure and loving heart.

Ashton has been married concurrently a record 27 times, mostly through virtue of getting a celebrant drunk on home-brewed moonshine. His current collection of partners includes three geese, a doorknob, and a life-sized cardboard cut-out of himself.

Ashton is also currently working on the screenplay for his new movie: I Know What I Did Last Summer.

"Why did I write this book? Well, from an early age I knew that I wanted to profit from the suffering of others, so it
...more

Not Kicking, Not Screaming.

I turned 30 today. Whether or not I would make it this long was not always clear, which makes me particularly thankful. Most people come into this world kicking and screaming. This is the natural way of things, and is generally considered a good sign for the health of a child. I, (being someone who [...]
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Published on October 01, 2012 23:26
Average rating: 3.27 · 227 ratings · 38 reviews · 10 distinct worksSimilar authors
Pretending to Love: How to ...

3.16 avg rating — 117 ratings — published 2012
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Real Grinders: How to Play ...

3.30 avg rating — 64 ratings — published 2014 — 3 editions
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How to be an Author: 36 Rea...

3.40 avg rating — 20 ratings3 editions
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The Poker Joke Book

4.10 avg rating — 10 ratings — published 2015 — 2 editions
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The Author's Coupon Book: S...

3.71 avg rating — 7 ratings2 editions
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The Habits of Winning Poker...

2.86 avg rating — 7 ratings4 editions
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Milo the Pug's Birthday Par...

liked it 3.00 avg rating — 2 ratings — published 2015
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The Habits of Winning Poker...

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Pretending to Love

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(The Poker Joke Book) [By: ...

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More books by Ashton Cartwright…
The Salvage Crew
Ashton is currently reading
by Yudhanjaya Wijeratne (Goodreads Author)
bookshelves: currently-reading
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The Ultimate Wode...
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Valhalla Online
Ashton is currently reading
by Kevin O. McLaughlin (Goodreads Author)
bookshelves: currently-reading
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Quotes by Ashton Cartwright  (?)
Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. (Learn more)

“No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves.” —Edgar Watson Howe”
Ashton Cartwright, Pretending to Love: How to Cheat Your Way to Relationship Bliss!

“Contrary to what you read in romance novels, humans are messy and complex creatures, constantly beset by their own neuroses, addictions, delusions and bad habits. And those are their good points.”
Ashton Cartwright, Pretending to Love: How to Cheat Your Way to Relationship Bliss!

“Love is like racing across the frozen tundra on a snowmobile which flips over, trapping you underneath. At night, the ice-weasels come.” —Matt Groening”
Ashton Cartwright, Pretending to Love: How to Cheat Your Way to Relationship Bliss!

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