Jerry D. Duvinsky

“Those with borderline personality disorder often project their fears onto others and therefore unconsciously push others away by their clinginess, controlling behaviors, and anger. In effect, this creates a self-fulfilling prophesy such that they make their fears come true by unconsciously pushing people away since they feel so certain that others will reject them. “Better to reject than be rejected.”
― Jerry D. Duvinsky, Perfect Pain/Perfect Shame: A Journey into Radical Presence: Embracing Shame Through Integrative Mindful Exposure: A Meeting of Two Sciences of Mind

“Shame is not an experience to be treated, cured, managed or corrected. This statement is often initially perceived as quite a disappointment for many, and understandably so. Shame, as any of the so-called “dark emotions,” can be exquisitely uncomfortable. As discussed at other points, it can literally suck the joy out of one’s heart. I often picture shame as akin to a “dementor” for those familiar with the Harry Potter books. So, of course, one would desire to be rid of shame. But it will take much more than the “expecto petronum” charm to work with shame. Shame is very sticky stuff…almost literally. The more one endeavors to fight it, the more it can suck one into its gooey depths.”
― Jerry D. Duvinsky, Perfect Pain/Perfect Shame: A Journey into Radical Presence: Embracing Shame Through Integrative Mindful Exposure: A Meeting of Two Sciences of Mind