Mary Stanik's Blog - Posts Tagged "twitter"
On being careful about feeding
A few fellow authors and communications consultants asked me to write something about a topic most authors and/or professional communications consultants have had experience with: people who might not be "trolls" in the strictest sense, but still are not people with whom one would want to establish permanent personal or professional relationships.
You know what I mean. People who seek you out, in ways ranging from acceptable to way too informal, through any number of sites such as Twitter and Facebook. They want your counsel, help, or encouragement. They may need to find a job. They need an introduction to someone you may know. They want funding for their project. Or they seem too far too keen to review your book or interview you. You are friendly but perhaps you cannot give them everything they want. For any number of reasons. And then they hit.
Now, to be fair, NONE of us are above criticism. Everyone is not going to love or even like us or our work. But in a world that really can have even fewer than six degrees of separation between people, it seems to make sense to not want to cultivate, if not enemies, at least non-communicating acquaintances out of people with whom one seemed to want to establish good relations.
I'll narrow this discussion to books, since this is Goodreads. I know a pretty famous book reviewer with a very large organization, who has told me my book will be reviewed by that person and organization once I make it just a bit bigger. The reviewer was only partially serious. Anyway, this reviewer told me that if a less than wonderful review is going to be given to a book by an author the reviewer has gotten to know (even if the acquaintance was only made and nurtured in cyberspace), the author will be notified ahead of time. Almost certainly, nothing will change about the review. But this reviewer said "reviews are more than very subjective. One never knows what other readers and reviewers will think, including those who may have more clout. One never knows what the author will write the next time. It's too small of a world to make even smaller by needlessly throwing toxins around when good or, at the least, civil professional relations can be maintained by displaying just a bit of courtesy." I asked this reviewer if bad reviews are ever withheld in the name of courtesy and was told "of course. Sometimes saying nothing says much more."
So while even the world's best writers cannot avoid bad reviews and/or personal slams, I suppose all of us (whether we write or not) can and should be more careful about who we let into our confidence. Saying this makes me very sad because I never want to stop making new acquaintances or trying to be of help where I can to those who seek me out. But as we ought to know by now, the world of cyberspace is not one that is totally safe. Or totally full of respect.
If it's not a good idea to feed the trolls, it's probably also not a good idea to serve much to those who prowl through cyberspace looking out only for themselves. Or their need to be unkind.
You know what I mean. People who seek you out, in ways ranging from acceptable to way too informal, through any number of sites such as Twitter and Facebook. They want your counsel, help, or encouragement. They may need to find a job. They need an introduction to someone you may know. They want funding for their project. Or they seem too far too keen to review your book or interview you. You are friendly but perhaps you cannot give them everything they want. For any number of reasons. And then they hit.
Now, to be fair, NONE of us are above criticism. Everyone is not going to love or even like us or our work. But in a world that really can have even fewer than six degrees of separation between people, it seems to make sense to not want to cultivate, if not enemies, at least non-communicating acquaintances out of people with whom one seemed to want to establish good relations.
I'll narrow this discussion to books, since this is Goodreads. I know a pretty famous book reviewer with a very large organization, who has told me my book will be reviewed by that person and organization once I make it just a bit bigger. The reviewer was only partially serious. Anyway, this reviewer told me that if a less than wonderful review is going to be given to a book by an author the reviewer has gotten to know (even if the acquaintance was only made and nurtured in cyberspace), the author will be notified ahead of time. Almost certainly, nothing will change about the review. But this reviewer said "reviews are more than very subjective. One never knows what other readers and reviewers will think, including those who may have more clout. One never knows what the author will write the next time. It's too small of a world to make even smaller by needlessly throwing toxins around when good or, at the least, civil professional relations can be maintained by displaying just a bit of courtesy." I asked this reviewer if bad reviews are ever withheld in the name of courtesy and was told "of course. Sometimes saying nothing says much more."
So while even the world's best writers cannot avoid bad reviews and/or personal slams, I suppose all of us (whether we write or not) can and should be more careful about who we let into our confidence. Saying this makes me very sad because I never want to stop making new acquaintances or trying to be of help where I can to those who seek me out. But as we ought to know by now, the world of cyberspace is not one that is totally safe. Or totally full of respect.
If it's not a good idea to feed the trolls, it's probably also not a good idea to serve much to those who prowl through cyberspace looking out only for themselves. Or their need to be unkind.
Remembering Jackie Kennedy (for what she did not say)
My MinnPost tribute to Jackie Kennedy, on the 20th anniversary of her death (May 19, 1994). Got a lot of feedback on this one, as I included a little bit of Monica (Lewinsky).
http://www.minnpost.com/community-voi...
http://www.minnpost.com/community-voi...
