Matthew Kinney's Blog
September 21, 2014
New Anthology
We are pleased to announce the release of another adventure in the world of "Dead, but Not for Long." We are especially excited about this installment, as it is included in an Anthology in which all profits will go directly to the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund, a non-profit organization that provides support to United States military personnel and their families. Each story in this collection, titled, "At Hell's Gates," is set in the worlds of Horror and PA icons such as Rachel Aukes, Jaqueline Druga, Paul Mannering, Shana Festa, and more genre favorites. When you purchase this anthology, priced reasonably at $2.99, not only will you get the satisfaction of contributing to the welfare of the men and women of our armed forces, but you will experience some of the newest and best of the horror genre. Plus, you will have access to exclusive material, found only in this volume. Our contribution, a short story called "No Shelter," features Snake and his posse as they encounter the zombie plague for the first time. Not only will you see your old favorites as they try to make sense of a world in which the dead attack the living, but you will learn Snake's real name. (And believe me, he's not happy about it.) Just think, for less than the cost of a cup of coffee at Starbucks, you can enjoy hours of entertainment while helping our men and women in uniform. Folks, this is a win-win situation. Here is the link: At Hell's Gates
May 17, 2014
The sequel is out!
It has been a year and a half in the making, but "Pestilence and Promise," the long awaited sequel to "Dead but Not for Long" has finally been released. It's a bit longer than its predecessor, but it is guaranteed to leave you wanting more. Keith, Snake, Lindsey, and the rest of the gang continue to wade through the sea of dead to bring those trapped in the devastated city of Lansing, Michigan to safety. Meanwhile, an doctor in Southern California harbors a terrible secret that may cost him his life. What is the secret? What connection does he have with our heroes in Lansing? Why am I talking to myself? To find out, either send me ten thousand dollars in unmarked bills or buy "Pestilence and Promise" on Amazon.com. Thanks and we hope you enjoy the book!
Pestilence and Promise
Pestilence and Promise
October 28, 2013
Benefits of Being a Zombie
(Following is a speech I delivered to the Historic Cedar Theater in Cedar City, Utah for their 2nd annual Zombie Walk. Those who didn't sleep through it claimed to have enjoyed it.)
*+*
I'm Matt Kinney, co-author of the Amazon best seller, “Dead but Not for Long.” For those of you who have been living in a parallel universe and haven't heard of the book, it can be found on Amazon.com, climbing the charts between Miley Cyruses' new novel, “How I Became Famous Without Selling Out,” and Eminem's new book, “My Mastery of the English Language.”
A couple years ago, my sister approached me about doing an online RPG. Having no idea what an RPG was, I agreed. I soon discovered it was a text-based Role Play Game in which we would create a story online. We each began with one character. My sister, for obvious reasons, chose a buff male nurse, and I, for reasons yet unknown, chose an overweight, sociopathic security guard. Since we were both born in central Michigan, it seemed fitting to chose an old hospital in Lansing to be our setting. As the story progressed we each added characters. Soon, we had a full ensemble, as well as the workings of a plot. As months turned into a year, my sister suggested turning the story into a novel and self-publishing it. With that suggestion began the grueling task of compiling the story in book format and editing it. That phase took as long, if not longer, than the actual writing of the story. Fortunately, since my sister was an English major, the brunt of those tasks fell to her, and I was able to sit back and go over the myriad of e-mails I received proposing corrections to my grammar.
Around Christmas of 2012, we went live, floundering a bit in the charts until our work got discovered by a blogger in a Michigan periodical, who gave us a boost in the rankings. Since then, we have had around 40,000 downloads, counting paperback sales, electronic sales, and promotional giveaways, and reviews have been positive, fetching 4 out of 5 stars on Amazon. Currently, we are working on a sequel, which we hope to have out soon. For those who are warped enough to have enjoyed my character of Eric, I penned, “Eric the Zombie Slayer,” a Novella that chronicles the adventures of my first character between our first book and the coming sequel.
Although both books take place in Central Michigan, I owe Cedar City a debt of gratitude for inspiring certain aspects of my parts of the story. In the turn of the century (the last one) I bought 20 acres of raw land in the Three Peaks area, North West of town. With no utilities nearby, my wife, my 2 year old son, and I commenced to build a modest home, completely devoid of municipal services on what was previously a sparsely treed stretch of earth. Solar panels provided the electricity, a wood stove provided heat, and a well dipped 360 feet into the ground to bring up life giving water. When the project was finished, we felt a measure of satisfaction in the self sustaining lifestyle we had created. We depended on no one but ourselves for light, for warmth, and for subsistence. Sometimes, that satisfaction came with a price.
When the winter dragged on longer than expected, and our wood pile dwindled to mere kindling, we would be forced to rely on our propane furnace for heat. The furnace, unfortunately, would not work without electricity. When this grid would fail, I would become acutely aware just how much we, as a society, have become dependent on electricity. Inevitably, when the wood was gone and the temperatures would drop down below zero, the battery bank that powered the house would decide to stop working. Most of the time, I could wander out into the cold night and tread through the snow to the generator shed, turn the key, and listen to it roar as it brought the warmth and light back into our home. Then, I would wait for the light of day to find the corrupted connection in our battery bank that caused the juice to stop flowing.
On a few occasions, the generator would engage in some diabolical conspiracy with the batteries to simply stop working. Desperately, I would work with numb fingers trying to breathe life back into my personal grid. Panic would creep into my brain as the bitter cold slowly overcame our home. The longer the generator refused to roar to life, the colder it got. Soon, the water pipes would begin to freeze. My wife and son would hide deep within a pile of blankets, having no clue of the anxiety that was threatening to overcome me. The independence that I had boasted about had become a curse, as several feet of snow blocked any escape to the safety of the city's grid. As dawn was hours away, anxiety would turn into helplessness. Fortunately, on each of these occasions, prayer, desperation, and an owners manual always seemed to lead me to a happy conclusion. But it was at these times that my imagination raced wildly through the what-ifs.
What if the power went out for good?
What if the heat, the water, and civilization itself was taken away from me?
What if there was something even more sinister than the cold and darkness that hunted us?
What if we not only had to fight the cold, the thirst, and the hunger, but something more diabolical: Mankind?
What if these humans had not only lost their consciences, but also their souls?
What if the only thing they possessed was a desire to tear our flesh from our bodies and consume it, not being at all affected by our screams of agony, on the contrary feeding on our pain as well as our organs? No compassion, no morals, no reason, just cold, maniacal, hunger.
What if, in the blink of an eye, we were on the bottom of the food chain?
How would we react under such dire circumstances?
Would we band together to fight our common enemy, or would anarchy ensue?
Would we protect the weak, or would it be simply survival of the fittest?
When being pursued by a thousand mindless maniacs, would we stop to assist the old man, struggling to escape, or would we let him fall, hoping the ensuing feast would slow the demonic horde, facilitating our escape?
Would those of you who had the foresight to stock pile food share with those of us who considered such preparations to be foolish, or would such starving fools become even more dangerous than the lifeless, infected maniacs?
Would the school teacher, the nurse, the theater owner, lose all sense of civility when faced with the prospect of starving, and kill for a can of soup? A bottle of water? Or a safe place to hide?
Would we really need a bite from an infected ghoul to pass on the plague, or would the fear within us simply take over our brains and turn us all into psychotic lunatics?
Are we already carriers of the virus, waiting for fear and desperation to trigger it?
When one is stripped of all the luxuries a municipality can offer and the comfort of the city lies shrouded in a cold, inhospitable fog, the mind tends to wander to places that it normally wouldn't venture. So next time your power goes out, ask yourself how long you could do without civilization before you yourself become uncivilized. How long would it take for you become the mindless beast without a soul, intent on devouring the living?
*+*
On a lighter note, there are benefits in crossing over to this state called “zombiehood.”
Throughout the history of our literary and cinematic culture, being a zombie has been traditionally viewed in a negative light.
We are all aware of the bad connotations associated with becoming a zombie. There's the smell. There's the stigma. There's the loss of major organs. These dark themes have saturated our books, movies, and sometimes our activities. But rarely have we explored the positive aspects of “zombie hood.” Yes, they do exist. I intend to prove that living. . .well, existing as a zombie can not only be a positive experience, but that zombie hood can actually lead to a happy and fulfilling undeath. Let’s explore several positive aspects related to zombie hood.
First, there's parenting:
Many of us have gone through it. Our bouncing baby boy or girl, who has been our source pride and joy for years, suddenly transforms into something terrible, something menacing...a teenager. It begins when the smile that usually covers their innocent little faces slowly replaces itself with a scowl. Soon, the voice is affected. Just when our children have learned to speak in full, articulate sentences, something happens and every inquiry we give them is met with a grunt. Soon, they become consumed with the prospect of arguing with everything we say and denying every request we make of them. Suddenly, we are at our wit's end. If you're a zombie, I have good news. It is totally within your nature to eat your teenager. Not only will you relish the meal, but the ensuing calm will be well worth any time it takes to scrub the mess off your floors. If approached by law enforcement, simply have them take your pulse, and all will be forgiven. Also, there's a good chance any pre-adolescent children you have will think twice about repeating the same pattern your first born did.
Next, there's the area of marriage:
Face it, not everyone has been blessed with the gift of having a perfect marriage. Some of you out there have decided that you would rather gargle small porcupines than stay together. Unfortunately, marriage is a legal agreement, and dissolving that contract can be a long, drawn out battle and be hazardous to your bank account. For those of you who have resigned yourselves to living the rest of your lives in these self imposed shackles, I have good news. Those last words you heard as a free man or woman, “Till death do you part,” will free you from your torture. If you are a zombie, you're dead. No court battle, no alimony, your contract is null and void. Now you are free to pursue that cute little cadaver or that good looking ghoul you've had your eye on. . .literally. Which brings us to the subject of dating.
No longer will you be expected to make clever conversation, when the most intelligent thing you will be expected to say will be, “Ughhh.” Also, most rules of etiquette won't apply to you. Corpses naturally fill up with gas and release it indiscriminately. It's expected. The dog will appreciate you too, since there will be no need to blame him or her for your flatulence.
There are also financial benefits of being a zombie:
The Great Recession of the last decade left few of us unscathed. Many of us have been forced to drastically change our lifestyles, cutting our budgets to the quick in an attempt to stay current on our financial obligations. For those of you who have crossed over that zombie bridge, I advise you to head to your nearest coroners office to apply for a death certificate. When approved, present it to your insurance agent and collect on that $100,000, $200,000, or million dollar life insurance policy. A word of warning, be sure to change your beneficiary to yourself before attempting this. I doubt your spouse would be feeling generous enough to share after you just weaseled out of your marriage.
Finally, let's explore how zombie hood can improve your self worth:
Remember that diet you have been trying to stick to for several years? You no longer need to concern yourself with your weight. Being dead, your digestive system no longer works. Not only can you can eat all you want without gaining a pound, but you will get plenty of exercise chasing your meal around town.
As for aging. . .you won't. You never have to worry about another birthday. You will never have to dye the gray out of your hair, since it will eventually all fall out. Starting to decay? A couple coats of morticians clay will make you look as fresh as the day you turned. If you want to feel as good a on the inside as you look outwardly, donate an organ. If you see someone in need of a heart, a kidney, a spleen, you have one to spare. No skin off your nose.
As you can see, zombie hood is not the horrible state our entertainment culture portrays it to be. What some would like to show to be a living death, can really be a brand new start at a full and satisfying existence.
Thank you for listening and enjoy the show!
*+*
I'm Matt Kinney, co-author of the Amazon best seller, “Dead but Not for Long.” For those of you who have been living in a parallel universe and haven't heard of the book, it can be found on Amazon.com, climbing the charts between Miley Cyruses' new novel, “How I Became Famous Without Selling Out,” and Eminem's new book, “My Mastery of the English Language.”
A couple years ago, my sister approached me about doing an online RPG. Having no idea what an RPG was, I agreed. I soon discovered it was a text-based Role Play Game in which we would create a story online. We each began with one character. My sister, for obvious reasons, chose a buff male nurse, and I, for reasons yet unknown, chose an overweight, sociopathic security guard. Since we were both born in central Michigan, it seemed fitting to chose an old hospital in Lansing to be our setting. As the story progressed we each added characters. Soon, we had a full ensemble, as well as the workings of a plot. As months turned into a year, my sister suggested turning the story into a novel and self-publishing it. With that suggestion began the grueling task of compiling the story in book format and editing it. That phase took as long, if not longer, than the actual writing of the story. Fortunately, since my sister was an English major, the brunt of those tasks fell to her, and I was able to sit back and go over the myriad of e-mails I received proposing corrections to my grammar.
Around Christmas of 2012, we went live, floundering a bit in the charts until our work got discovered by a blogger in a Michigan periodical, who gave us a boost in the rankings. Since then, we have had around 40,000 downloads, counting paperback sales, electronic sales, and promotional giveaways, and reviews have been positive, fetching 4 out of 5 stars on Amazon. Currently, we are working on a sequel, which we hope to have out soon. For those who are warped enough to have enjoyed my character of Eric, I penned, “Eric the Zombie Slayer,” a Novella that chronicles the adventures of my first character between our first book and the coming sequel.
Although both books take place in Central Michigan, I owe Cedar City a debt of gratitude for inspiring certain aspects of my parts of the story. In the turn of the century (the last one) I bought 20 acres of raw land in the Three Peaks area, North West of town. With no utilities nearby, my wife, my 2 year old son, and I commenced to build a modest home, completely devoid of municipal services on what was previously a sparsely treed stretch of earth. Solar panels provided the electricity, a wood stove provided heat, and a well dipped 360 feet into the ground to bring up life giving water. When the project was finished, we felt a measure of satisfaction in the self sustaining lifestyle we had created. We depended on no one but ourselves for light, for warmth, and for subsistence. Sometimes, that satisfaction came with a price.
When the winter dragged on longer than expected, and our wood pile dwindled to mere kindling, we would be forced to rely on our propane furnace for heat. The furnace, unfortunately, would not work without electricity. When this grid would fail, I would become acutely aware just how much we, as a society, have become dependent on electricity. Inevitably, when the wood was gone and the temperatures would drop down below zero, the battery bank that powered the house would decide to stop working. Most of the time, I could wander out into the cold night and tread through the snow to the generator shed, turn the key, and listen to it roar as it brought the warmth and light back into our home. Then, I would wait for the light of day to find the corrupted connection in our battery bank that caused the juice to stop flowing.
On a few occasions, the generator would engage in some diabolical conspiracy with the batteries to simply stop working. Desperately, I would work with numb fingers trying to breathe life back into my personal grid. Panic would creep into my brain as the bitter cold slowly overcame our home. The longer the generator refused to roar to life, the colder it got. Soon, the water pipes would begin to freeze. My wife and son would hide deep within a pile of blankets, having no clue of the anxiety that was threatening to overcome me. The independence that I had boasted about had become a curse, as several feet of snow blocked any escape to the safety of the city's grid. As dawn was hours away, anxiety would turn into helplessness. Fortunately, on each of these occasions, prayer, desperation, and an owners manual always seemed to lead me to a happy conclusion. But it was at these times that my imagination raced wildly through the what-ifs.
What if the power went out for good?
What if the heat, the water, and civilization itself was taken away from me?
What if there was something even more sinister than the cold and darkness that hunted us?
What if we not only had to fight the cold, the thirst, and the hunger, but something more diabolical: Mankind?
What if these humans had not only lost their consciences, but also their souls?
What if the only thing they possessed was a desire to tear our flesh from our bodies and consume it, not being at all affected by our screams of agony, on the contrary feeding on our pain as well as our organs? No compassion, no morals, no reason, just cold, maniacal, hunger.
What if, in the blink of an eye, we were on the bottom of the food chain?
How would we react under such dire circumstances?
Would we band together to fight our common enemy, or would anarchy ensue?
Would we protect the weak, or would it be simply survival of the fittest?
When being pursued by a thousand mindless maniacs, would we stop to assist the old man, struggling to escape, or would we let him fall, hoping the ensuing feast would slow the demonic horde, facilitating our escape?
Would those of you who had the foresight to stock pile food share with those of us who considered such preparations to be foolish, or would such starving fools become even more dangerous than the lifeless, infected maniacs?
Would the school teacher, the nurse, the theater owner, lose all sense of civility when faced with the prospect of starving, and kill for a can of soup? A bottle of water? Or a safe place to hide?
Would we really need a bite from an infected ghoul to pass on the plague, or would the fear within us simply take over our brains and turn us all into psychotic lunatics?
Are we already carriers of the virus, waiting for fear and desperation to trigger it?
When one is stripped of all the luxuries a municipality can offer and the comfort of the city lies shrouded in a cold, inhospitable fog, the mind tends to wander to places that it normally wouldn't venture. So next time your power goes out, ask yourself how long you could do without civilization before you yourself become uncivilized. How long would it take for you become the mindless beast without a soul, intent on devouring the living?
*+*
On a lighter note, there are benefits in crossing over to this state called “zombiehood.”
Throughout the history of our literary and cinematic culture, being a zombie has been traditionally viewed in a negative light.
We are all aware of the bad connotations associated with becoming a zombie. There's the smell. There's the stigma. There's the loss of major organs. These dark themes have saturated our books, movies, and sometimes our activities. But rarely have we explored the positive aspects of “zombie hood.” Yes, they do exist. I intend to prove that living. . .well, existing as a zombie can not only be a positive experience, but that zombie hood can actually lead to a happy and fulfilling undeath. Let’s explore several positive aspects related to zombie hood.
First, there's parenting:
Many of us have gone through it. Our bouncing baby boy or girl, who has been our source pride and joy for years, suddenly transforms into something terrible, something menacing...a teenager. It begins when the smile that usually covers their innocent little faces slowly replaces itself with a scowl. Soon, the voice is affected. Just when our children have learned to speak in full, articulate sentences, something happens and every inquiry we give them is met with a grunt. Soon, they become consumed with the prospect of arguing with everything we say and denying every request we make of them. Suddenly, we are at our wit's end. If you're a zombie, I have good news. It is totally within your nature to eat your teenager. Not only will you relish the meal, but the ensuing calm will be well worth any time it takes to scrub the mess off your floors. If approached by law enforcement, simply have them take your pulse, and all will be forgiven. Also, there's a good chance any pre-adolescent children you have will think twice about repeating the same pattern your first born did.
Next, there's the area of marriage:
Face it, not everyone has been blessed with the gift of having a perfect marriage. Some of you out there have decided that you would rather gargle small porcupines than stay together. Unfortunately, marriage is a legal agreement, and dissolving that contract can be a long, drawn out battle and be hazardous to your bank account. For those of you who have resigned yourselves to living the rest of your lives in these self imposed shackles, I have good news. Those last words you heard as a free man or woman, “Till death do you part,” will free you from your torture. If you are a zombie, you're dead. No court battle, no alimony, your contract is null and void. Now you are free to pursue that cute little cadaver or that good looking ghoul you've had your eye on. . .literally. Which brings us to the subject of dating.
No longer will you be expected to make clever conversation, when the most intelligent thing you will be expected to say will be, “Ughhh.” Also, most rules of etiquette won't apply to you. Corpses naturally fill up with gas and release it indiscriminately. It's expected. The dog will appreciate you too, since there will be no need to blame him or her for your flatulence.
There are also financial benefits of being a zombie:
The Great Recession of the last decade left few of us unscathed. Many of us have been forced to drastically change our lifestyles, cutting our budgets to the quick in an attempt to stay current on our financial obligations. For those of you who have crossed over that zombie bridge, I advise you to head to your nearest coroners office to apply for a death certificate. When approved, present it to your insurance agent and collect on that $100,000, $200,000, or million dollar life insurance policy. A word of warning, be sure to change your beneficiary to yourself before attempting this. I doubt your spouse would be feeling generous enough to share after you just weaseled out of your marriage.
Finally, let's explore how zombie hood can improve your self worth:
Remember that diet you have been trying to stick to for several years? You no longer need to concern yourself with your weight. Being dead, your digestive system no longer works. Not only can you can eat all you want without gaining a pound, but you will get plenty of exercise chasing your meal around town.
As for aging. . .you won't. You never have to worry about another birthday. You will never have to dye the gray out of your hair, since it will eventually all fall out. Starting to decay? A couple coats of morticians clay will make you look as fresh as the day you turned. If you want to feel as good a on the inside as you look outwardly, donate an organ. If you see someone in need of a heart, a kidney, a spleen, you have one to spare. No skin off your nose.
As you can see, zombie hood is not the horrible state our entertainment culture portrays it to be. What some would like to show to be a living death, can really be a brand new start at a full and satisfying existence.
Thank you for listening and enjoy the show!
