A.J. Sand's Blog
April 22, 2016
Without Scars
I don't think my website posts are still connected to Goodreads (I need to work on that), but I announced on my Facebook page earlier this week that a book I had been working on forever ago does in fact exist: Without Scars.
I mean it precedes me coming back, so it's not really a "comeback" book, but totally a great weekend read, if I do say so myself. ;)
Anyway, it's $0.99 right now on Amazon and is also on Kindle Unlimited, so check it out please!
I mean it precedes me coming back, so it's not really a "comeback" book, but totally a great weekend read, if I do say so myself. ;)
Anyway, it's $0.99 right now on Amazon and is also on Kindle Unlimited, so check it out please!
April 15, 2014
HUGE TEASER TUESDAY!!!
My dear, dear friend, Shelley, who beta reads for me, loved this part of Failure to Launch, so I decided to share it with you.
This is Nikki's POV (I was a dual POV virgin until this story. Um, I hope it works out lol). I really like the way Nikki is turning out. I'm drawn to people who are like, "Look at me and my mess. Take it or leave it," and she's this way. She really always puts herself out there...flaws, regrets, shame. She doesn't hide. She's so open about the good and bad, and it's been fun writing someone who often says exactly what they're thinking and how they feel. Anyway, hope you enjoy! I've been so MIA but I'm still here!! <3 <3
(UNEDITED TEASER)
“Whoa. I haven’t heard this in a while.” Instinctively, I grabbed his wrist. “Can you keep it here?” I turned the volume up on Kings of Leon.
Charlie raised his eyebrows, but his gaze was stuck on my hand. The warmth I’d felt earlier when he touched my back returned. “This song is always playing in my car and no one ever knows it. I’d believe you if you said you were really a fan,” he said.
It was definitely from before they got famous in America. “You know how when you first discover a band and they’re still playing mostly on college radio? You know they’re struggling to break out as artists, but it’s just so damn good. It’s urgent and anxious. It’s painful and passionate. It’s not mainstream radio-friendly. And you’re singing songs no one else really knows? I love that. It just feels like you own it. This was that album for me. It got me through a rough patch, when I was looking to connect with something, when I wanted a voice in my head that wasn’t my own.”
Somehow during my praise of the band his hand had slid into mine, and now our fingers were linked. It felt really good; it was comforting, the sensation of his palm. “From when you were in…rehab?” he asked.
I nodded then sighed. “So…how much do you want to know?”
“Anything you want to tell me, Nikki, which could be nothing at all. We did just meet a few hours ago.”
And maybe that was why I wanted to explain. But as I took in his kind smile, I hesitated. I never had before when talking about the mess I'd made of my life. And nothing about the way he was looking at me said he was trying to probe or guess what I was going to say. He was just…waiting. For me to talk, or not talk for that matter. It was sweet. Our entire day together he’d been like this. And I think I understood why. He loved stories because he loved people. So, speaking felt like a risk now because…he was something to lose?
What? I don’t even know him.
But I want to. And I want him to know me.
I took in a deep breath. This was normally the time when what I said broke my relationships with people. No matter what they’d thought about me before this moment, it was never the same after they found out about my biggest regret. But I still refused to close off or shut down or run away. The accident didn’t define me but it was as present as any tangible part of me. And I’d take rejection of all of me over acceptance of some persona I’d have to put on forever.
This is Nikki's POV (I was a dual POV virgin until this story. Um, I hope it works out lol). I really like the way Nikki is turning out. I'm drawn to people who are like, "Look at me and my mess. Take it or leave it," and she's this way. She really always puts herself out there...flaws, regrets, shame. She doesn't hide. She's so open about the good and bad, and it's been fun writing someone who often says exactly what they're thinking and how they feel. Anyway, hope you enjoy! I've been so MIA but I'm still here!! <3 <3
(UNEDITED TEASER)
“Whoa. I haven’t heard this in a while.” Instinctively, I grabbed his wrist. “Can you keep it here?” I turned the volume up on Kings of Leon.
Charlie raised his eyebrows, but his gaze was stuck on my hand. The warmth I’d felt earlier when he touched my back returned. “This song is always playing in my car and no one ever knows it. I’d believe you if you said you were really a fan,” he said.
It was definitely from before they got famous in America. “You know how when you first discover a band and they’re still playing mostly on college radio? You know they’re struggling to break out as artists, but it’s just so damn good. It’s urgent and anxious. It’s painful and passionate. It’s not mainstream radio-friendly. And you’re singing songs no one else really knows? I love that. It just feels like you own it. This was that album for me. It got me through a rough patch, when I was looking to connect with something, when I wanted a voice in my head that wasn’t my own.”
Somehow during my praise of the band his hand had slid into mine, and now our fingers were linked. It felt really good; it was comforting, the sensation of his palm. “From when you were in…rehab?” he asked.
I nodded then sighed. “So…how much do you want to know?”
“Anything you want to tell me, Nikki, which could be nothing at all. We did just meet a few hours ago.”
And maybe that was why I wanted to explain. But as I took in his kind smile, I hesitated. I never had before when talking about the mess I'd made of my life. And nothing about the way he was looking at me said he was trying to probe or guess what I was going to say. He was just…waiting. For me to talk, or not talk for that matter. It was sweet. Our entire day together he’d been like this. And I think I understood why. He loved stories because he loved people. So, speaking felt like a risk now because…he was something to lose?
What? I don’t even know him.
But I want to. And I want him to know me.
I took in a deep breath. This was normally the time when what I said broke my relationships with people. No matter what they’d thought about me before this moment, it was never the same after they found out about my biggest regret. But I still refused to close off or shut down or run away. The accident didn’t define me but it was as present as any tangible part of me. And I’d take rejection of all of me over acceptance of some persona I’d have to put on forever.
March 31, 2014
How to Fuck Up a Friendship
Happy Monday, everyone. Hope your weekend was awesome. I'm so behind on giveaway prizes and life in general because I'm marathon-writing right now. And I was reading Frenched by Melanie Harlow (awesome read, btw). But I plan to have my crap together this week.
So Failure to Launch is coming along pretty quickly. Much quicker than I anticipated, actually. Not sure what this means yet exactly in terms of release because I don't think I plan to do anything big, so maybe sooner rather than later? Maybe.
Anyway, I talked about how that picture of ballerina Misty Copeland inspired Nikki, the female protagonist's character, a while back. But I wanted to tell you a little about Charlie.
Charlie starts his own web series called "How to Fuck Up a Friendship" with his best friend (Sydney), where they play fictionalized version of themselves (Chuck and Syd), in a Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm kind of way, which he mentions in the story. And it gets really popular. I've been following the pretty cool rise of a popular web series called "The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl (ABG)" for years now. It inspired a lot of what happens with Charlie and Sydney's web series (In ABG the creator/main character plays a fictonalized version of herself, too).
I really liked how open the creator has been about her struggles with getting it made without much financing, her Kickstarter campaign and then adjusting to its popularity. Charlie deals with a few of those things. Probably not as well as she does, though lol! Anyway, that's the lowdown on Charlie.
So Failure to Launch is coming along pretty quickly. Much quicker than I anticipated, actually. Not sure what this means yet exactly in terms of release because I don't think I plan to do anything big, so maybe sooner rather than later? Maybe.
Anyway, I talked about how that picture of ballerina Misty Copeland inspired Nikki, the female protagonist's character, a while back. But I wanted to tell you a little about Charlie.
Charlie starts his own web series called "How to Fuck Up a Friendship" with his best friend (Sydney), where they play fictionalized version of themselves (Chuck and Syd), in a Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm kind of way, which he mentions in the story. And it gets really popular. I've been following the pretty cool rise of a popular web series called "The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl (ABG)" for years now. It inspired a lot of what happens with Charlie and Sydney's web series (In ABG the creator/main character plays a fictonalized version of herself, too).
I really liked how open the creator has been about her struggles with getting it made without much financing, her Kickstarter campaign and then adjusting to its popularity. Charlie deals with a few of those things. Probably not as well as she does, though lol! Anyway, that's the lowdown on Charlie.
March 1, 2014
Sexy Saturday teaser
For some reason I unlinked my blog from GoodReads, so I keep forgetting to post here LOL. Anyway, I can't say this enough…
Thank you to everyone who took a chance on AFC. It's my most favorite thing I've written to date, and I actually miss writing it a lot. Like a lot.
Anyway, Sexy Saturday teaser for Failure to Launch? Sure! Have a great weekend!!
Thank you to everyone who took a chance on AFC. It's my most favorite thing I've written to date, and I actually miss writing it a lot. Like a lot.
Anyway, Sexy Saturday teaser for Failure to Launch? Sure! Have a great weekend!!
February 19, 2014
My schedule tab gets a lot of hits on the blog.
Hey, first, thank you to everyone who bought AFC. I've heard from some of you…and thank you for reading my crazy story. =)
So about my schedule... I've abandoned it completely because my brain apparently can't follow it, and this story has been bugging me since I saw this picture of Misty Copeland.
Failure to Launch (working title maybe) is much, much tamer than AFC (not because of AFC, mind you. Sandrine's prequel is coming at some point and it will be just as crazy, just as out-of-control, just as violent and chock-full of moral ambiguity and really bad people, as is Fuel). But beware, though, if you know anything about me by now, it's fair to assume that FTL will NOT be an easy story LOL.
Anyway, here's the synopsis:
He’s the next big thing.
With more than fifty thousand people following his irreverent social media account and the popularity of his YouTube channel, Charlie Dara landed the opportunity of his dreams when a well-funded media company offered a production partnership. Everyone he knows thinks he's the luckiest guy in the world, but the way he's dealing with the mounting pressures of new-found fame is threatening to derail it all…
She was the next big thing.
Nikki Johnson lost dance and a coveted spot with the Los Angeles Ballet to alcohol two years ago. But with a supportive family and a successful rehabilitation program, she has crawled up from the shambles of that past life to chase new dreams. And avoid old habits…
A minor fender bender puts them on a collision course.
A friendship grows quickly beneath a strong connection. An intense attraction quickly ignites into the kind of consuming passion most people only get to fantasize about. But her old struggles and his growing ones pose a threat to reality.
What happens when the one you crave the most is too dangerous for you? When what you desire might be your downfall?
Do you fight love? Or fight for it?
**SUMMER 2014**
So about my schedule... I've abandoned it completely because my brain apparently can't follow it, and this story has been bugging me since I saw this picture of Misty Copeland.
Failure to Launch (working title maybe) is much, much tamer than AFC (not because of AFC, mind you. Sandrine's prequel is coming at some point and it will be just as crazy, just as out-of-control, just as violent and chock-full of moral ambiguity and really bad people, as is Fuel). But beware, though, if you know anything about me by now, it's fair to assume that FTL will NOT be an easy story LOL.
Anyway, here's the synopsis:
He’s the next big thing.
With more than fifty thousand people following his irreverent social media account and the popularity of his YouTube channel, Charlie Dara landed the opportunity of his dreams when a well-funded media company offered a production partnership. Everyone he knows thinks he's the luckiest guy in the world, but the way he's dealing with the mounting pressures of new-found fame is threatening to derail it all…
She was the next big thing.
Nikki Johnson lost dance and a coveted spot with the Los Angeles Ballet to alcohol two years ago. But with a supportive family and a successful rehabilitation program, she has crawled up from the shambles of that past life to chase new dreams. And avoid old habits…
A minor fender bender puts them on a collision course.
A friendship grows quickly beneath a strong connection. An intense attraction quickly ignites into the kind of consuming passion most people only get to fantasize about. But her old struggles and his growing ones pose a threat to reality.
What happens when the one you crave the most is too dangerous for you? When what you desire might be your downfall?
Do you fight love? Or fight for it?
**SUMMER 2014**
February 12, 2014
Why is cheating the special snowflake of bad things? *Secret's out...so this needs no spoiler alert*
So, I'm noticing a trend in the reviews and shelves LOL...and I expected it, obviously.
I made a joke to a few people that the violence in AFC wouldn't be a problem because the cheating would distract from it regardless of how violent it was. I probably could've thrown in a beheading or two or three and still the cheating would've overshadowed it. And I get that. I really, really do. Some people just can't tolerate it. Maybe I like moral ambiguity in my fiction more than other people LOL.
And I'm not going to defend the cheating, and this book isn't about making it okay. It's about Jesse, and also how he and Drew reconnect. But I was (and am) going to write about it, though, because I've never seen it as being so taboo that it has to stay out of stories. I just wanted to write it differently than I often see it used in writing. Normally, I see it as: hero/heroine has been cheated on and is brokenhearted and has trust issues. And then that's how said brokenhearted person ends up with heroine/hero. Perfectly fine storyline. Very, very true to life storyline.
Well, Shonda Rhimes changed all of that for me with Scandal. She gave me the lady-balls to follow through with my own idea I'd been thinking about for ages, which was that the hero and heroine might cheat with each other and well...yeah...the story wasn't going to take any other trajectory. And before Scandal, it happened on SATC (Big and Carrie), One Tree Hill (Lucas and Peyton) and Gossip Girl (well that was just a clusterfuck of cheating). The Vincent Boys is one of my favorite books EVER, and I loved how Abbi
Glines just went for it, and especially between characters where the cut was so deep. I appreciated the risk. Karina Halle is coming out with a book that looks very adulterous.
I could've made some insincere, heavy sense of guilt between them to make them "better people," but why? They're already decent people! In fact, they are great people...who made poor decisions for incredibly selfish reasons (so, like…almost every human being).
I say all of this not to turn you off, which I'm sure I have LOL, and not even necessarily for sympathy, but because Drew and Jesse are supposed to be human, a deeply flawed species, and humans, even the good ones, do hurtful things to other humans, especially stuff that doesn't rise to the level of bodily harm or harm to human life (mind you, the two people do innumerable good things for each other and other people, too. It's probably a HUGE flaw in my thinking, admittedly, but I just don't get how the act of cheating on Lydia negates everything Jesse does in the entire book).
Did cheating make them unlikeable? Oh, sure. But nobody is always likeable, and maybe wanting someone you should not and acting on it is more common than we're comfortable with?
And a temptation to upend your life completely for that other person? Real thing.
I read this secret on Post Secret recently, maybe like two weeks ago:
Anyway, I didn't write this to change anyone's mind. AFC is still my favorite thing I've written to date, and I'm certainly okay with controversy. I welcome all opinions and feelings. I enjoy reading them, no matter what! But sometimes I see a trend that I just can't help reflecting on.
Although, I'm incredibly curious about the reaction to the topic, I say all of this only for the insight into my thinking, and not to argue with your feelings as they are yours, because I'm only here to write about humans and humanity (not role models, not moral guidelines, and definitely not heroes) and that definitely includes the morally reprehensible parts. And a lot of us are intrigued by those parts. There's a reason Scandal, Sons of Anarchy, Breaking Bad, Dexter, Mad Men and Weeds had/have cult-like followings. The writing is amazeballs (not even comparing little ol' me), the action is great, BUT one could also argue that they're popular because of the antihero nature of the leads. People love antiheroes. I certainly do. Jesse is very antihero-leaning.
None of us is good 100% of the time in real life, but moral ambiguity in fiction is quite fun for me.
And I've seen male leads and fictional boyfriends and hearthrobs get away with all kinds of things that are so incredibly sociopathic and criminal and cruel and cause so much emotional pain (hello Damon Salvatore), but for some reason most things are allowed and forgiven as long as they fall short of cheating. So, we reconcile bad traits/behavior with good ones all the time, but why is this seen as such an un-redeemable thing no matter what else someone does? I started talking about this on Facebook, and I love talking to y'all so please don't hesitate to drop a note, as I said I am curious.
I made a joke to a few people that the violence in AFC wouldn't be a problem because the cheating would distract from it regardless of how violent it was. I probably could've thrown in a beheading or two or three and still the cheating would've overshadowed it. And I get that. I really, really do. Some people just can't tolerate it. Maybe I like moral ambiguity in my fiction more than other people LOL.
And I'm not going to defend the cheating, and this book isn't about making it okay. It's about Jesse, and also how he and Drew reconnect. But I was (and am) going to write about it, though, because I've never seen it as being so taboo that it has to stay out of stories. I just wanted to write it differently than I often see it used in writing. Normally, I see it as: hero/heroine has been cheated on and is brokenhearted and has trust issues. And then that's how said brokenhearted person ends up with heroine/hero. Perfectly fine storyline. Very, very true to life storyline.
Well, Shonda Rhimes changed all of that for me with Scandal. She gave me the lady-balls to follow through with my own idea I'd been thinking about for ages, which was that the hero and heroine might cheat with each other and well...yeah...the story wasn't going to take any other trajectory. And before Scandal, it happened on SATC (Big and Carrie), One Tree Hill (Lucas and Peyton) and Gossip Girl (well that was just a clusterfuck of cheating). The Vincent Boys is one of my favorite books EVER, and I loved how Abbi
Glines just went for it, and especially between characters where the cut was so deep. I appreciated the risk. Karina Halle is coming out with a book that looks very adulterous.
I could've made some insincere, heavy sense of guilt between them to make them "better people," but why? They're already decent people! In fact, they are great people...who made poor decisions for incredibly selfish reasons (so, like…almost every human being).
I say all of this not to turn you off, which I'm sure I have LOL, and not even necessarily for sympathy, but because Drew and Jesse are supposed to be human, a deeply flawed species, and humans, even the good ones, do hurtful things to other humans, especially stuff that doesn't rise to the level of bodily harm or harm to human life (mind you, the two people do innumerable good things for each other and other people, too. It's probably a HUGE flaw in my thinking, admittedly, but I just don't get how the act of cheating on Lydia negates everything Jesse does in the entire book).
Did cheating make them unlikeable? Oh, sure. But nobody is always likeable, and maybe wanting someone you should not and acting on it is more common than we're comfortable with?
And a temptation to upend your life completely for that other person? Real thing.
I read this secret on Post Secret recently, maybe like two weeks ago:
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Anyway, I didn't write this to change anyone's mind. AFC is still my favorite thing I've written to date, and I'm certainly okay with controversy. I welcome all opinions and feelings. I enjoy reading them, no matter what! But sometimes I see a trend that I just can't help reflecting on.
Although, I'm incredibly curious about the reaction to the topic, I say all of this only for the insight into my thinking, and not to argue with your feelings as they are yours, because I'm only here to write about humans and humanity (not role models, not moral guidelines, and definitely not heroes) and that definitely includes the morally reprehensible parts. And a lot of us are intrigued by those parts. There's a reason Scandal, Sons of Anarchy, Breaking Bad, Dexter, Mad Men and Weeds had/have cult-like followings. The writing is amazeballs (not even comparing little ol' me), the action is great, BUT one could also argue that they're popular because of the antihero nature of the leads. People love antiheroes. I certainly do. Jesse is very antihero-leaning.
None of us is good 100% of the time in real life, but moral ambiguity in fiction is quite fun for me.
And I've seen male leads and fictional boyfriends and hearthrobs get away with all kinds of things that are so incredibly sociopathic and criminal and cruel and cause so much emotional pain (hello Damon Salvatore), but for some reason most things are allowed and forgiven as long as they fall short of cheating. So, we reconcile bad traits/behavior with good ones all the time, but why is this seen as such an un-redeemable thing no matter what else someone does? I started talking about this on Facebook, and I love talking to y'all so please don't hesitate to drop a note, as I said I am curious.
February 10, 2014
Stuff
I'm apologizing now for the absurd number of posts from me this week! It's blog tour time and I'm not writing a story right now so I'm bored as hell during my free time. I'll try to keep it under control LOL.
1 - When I start writing again, I'm writing a prequel to AFC about Sandrine and Emilio Estrada at some point. You are going to meet a completely different person than you met in AFC. You'll see how this man changed her life, for good but dangerously, too. Honestly, if you thought AFC was violent…this is probably even worse.
2 - Also, go visit Tattooed Book Review for some cool facts on AFC and enter the giveaway!
1 - When I start writing again, I'm writing a prequel to AFC about Sandrine and Emilio Estrada at some point. You are going to meet a completely different person than you met in AFC. You'll see how this man changed her life, for good but dangerously, too. Honestly, if you thought AFC was violent…this is probably even worse.
2 - Also, go visit Tattooed Book Review for some cool facts on AFC and enter the giveaway!
February 9, 2014
JESSE?
I think I just found my most perfect Jesse (fine, not-so-perfect 'cause of the tattoos), but I have a board where I'm collecting Jesse's. http://www.pinterest.com/ajajajsand/a-fighting-chance-stuffies/
Also this guy is gorgeous, and I need him in my life...like now.
Also this guy is gorgeous, and I need him in my life...like now.
A Fighting Chance's Blog Tour
Here's A Fighting Chance's blog tour sched. Golf clubs not included ;) http://atomrbookblogtours.com/2013/12...
