Christin Slade's Blog

A husband and wife each have a part to contribute to their marriage. When they invest in their marriage God’s way, it’s beautifully blissful.

Each heart in a marriage needs to be truly connected with God and want more of Him in their lives. Otherwise, these statues only become legalistic or weaponized. The only times the Word should be used as a weapon is against our own fleshly desires and against Satan. When we follow God’s Word, it’s for His glory, not our own gain. Yet, the beauty of it is that God uses our obedience to bless us!

I will be so bold as to say, if your relationship with Christ isn’t first priority in your life or you have sin, you need to focus on that first. You need to get your heart right with the Lord before you will be able work on any other relationship, especially one so precious as your marriage.

When we receive God as our Authority, we have less trouble with wanting to follow His commands. However, when we want to be lord over our own lives, we don’t like that God has a way of doing things that are contrary to what our flesh would choose.

Let’s talk about these key essential elements in marriage that God asks us to do as wives and also for husbands. I will say, I think husbands have a greater responsibility of contributing to the marriage than wives which is why I believe God created women to help them. That doesn’t necessarily mean the wife’s role is easy though. But it is rewarding when both husband and wife work together in unity.

This list is not exhaustive, as there are many things we as individual Christians are called to. But these 10 in particular are for marriage—5 for wives and 5 for husbands.

5 Ways God Calls Wives to Invest in Her Husband and MarriageSubmit to your husband

(Ephesians 5:22-24)

This command always catches some heat and I completely understand why. Especially within certain denominations. This verse can be used as a weapon against wives who have abusive husbands—whether physically or emotionally. That behavior does NOT honor God. It is sin and needs to be called out as such.

Having said that, these verses are still the Word of God. We need not throw them out because they are widely abused. They are sacred and holy and meant to be followed in a way that honors God and how He loves and honors His daughters. They are given to wives and not husbands. In other words, it is for the wife to obey in the manner in which they were intended by the Lord and not for the husband to demand and abuse.

Submitting means to surrender your own desires for the needs of your husband. This is an act of sacrifice. Our own fleshly desires shouldn’t come before the real needs of our husbands. Submitting means yielding to the authority of our husbands. Make no mistake, their authority must be godly or it’s sin.

Respect Your Husband

(Ephesians 5:33)
Following the command for husbands to love their wives is for wives to respect their husbands. Respect doesn’t mean you have to agree. It simply means you treat a situation and your husband in a manner that is dignified. Treat your husband as a child of God. This doesn’t include covering up or ignoring sin. On the contrary, being treated as a child of God means lovingly calling out sin. But even in this circumstance, it can be done respectfully.

Respect isn’t the same as obedience. The Bible isn’t telling us to obey our husbands no matter what they say or do. But if your husband makes a mistake, for example, it would be disrespectful to go and tell the world about it. If your husband comes to you with an idea you think is silly and don’t agree with, don’t badger him or make fun of him or tell him how stupid he is. That’s disrespectful.

However, if you feel unsafe, physically or emotionally. around your husband, you need to tell someone you trust. You need to talk to someone if something feels “off” in your marriage.

Love & Support Your Husband

(Titus 2:4-5)

Love is defined in 1 Corinthians 13. When you love your husband, you are patient and kind. You aren’t envious of him or boastful of yourself. You do not allow pride to corrupt your relationship. When we love our husbands, we will not dishonor them. In other words, we won’t shame them or embarrass them.

Loving your husband means seeking to please him above yourself. You’re not easily angered and you don’t tally up all the mistakes he’s made and use them against him. Loving your husband includes rejecting things that are evil and embracing and rejoicing in God’s truth.

When you love your husband, you will protect him from evil. Loving him means trusting God, putting your hope in God, and being steadfast in His truth. Our husbands are human. They will make mistakes. Love is perfect because love is God. It never fails, even when people fail us.

1 Peter 4:8 says,

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Don’t hear what I’m not saying: Forgiveness comes from love but love also holds others accountable. Love covering a multitude of sins is about forgiveness, it is not about covering up sin. Repeated sin especially, needs to be dealt with and brought to light.

Be Virtuous & Diligent

(Proverbs 31:10-31)

As a wife, you need to be a woman of virtue. Conduct yourself in a godly manner and seek the Lord diligently.

This passage in Proverbs has become a bit of a hot topic among wives over the years. What one woman can hope to live up to all of that?! The point of the verse is to draw out the virtues of a woman of excellence. They aren’t necessarily commands to follow but guidelines to take into account. This is one way an excellent wife conducts her life. But it is not the only way.

Consider some of they key phrases you can focus on and adapt to your relationship and life with your husband:

her husband trusts her

she does him good

she works in delight

she begins her day early

she manages her resources responsibly

she helps care for the needy

she is not afraid for her family

she has strength and dignity

she is wise and kind

she looks to the needs of her home

she is not lazy or idle

she fears the Lord

You could never accomplish this work on your own but God can work in you to make it so.

Pray for your husband

(Ephesians 6:18)

Nothing is more powerful for a believer than prayer. Prayer works in the unseen parts of our lives. God may not always give us what we want in the way we think we want it. However, prayer has the power to not only do a deep work in us but in others also.

Praying for your husband is one of the most powerful ways you can support Him. You can pray for him when he struggles, you can rejoice when God’s favor is upon him. You can pray for a deeper relationship with God and for courage and strength and wisdom. There is no end to the things you can pray. It doesn’t always need to be a list, but prayer is communion with God. Yes, you can and should pray on behalf of your husband, but allow prayer to work in your heart as well.

Bonus: How to Submit to an unsaved or disobedient husband

(1 Peter 3:1-2)

Not every husband is saved or submitted to God and that’s a tough place to be. When you have differing values it can put things into disunity. Some husbands use God’s word as a weapon as means of controlling their wives. This is not honoring to God and I would dare say if a husband is doing this, he is not saved by the loving grace of God. If he were, he would not act in this manner. He couldn’t. Light and dark cannot occupy the same space. Righteousness and lawlessness cannot be in fellowship together.

But God can use you if you’ll let Him. When your husband is being disobedient, he could be won over by your silent prayers, your honorable behavior, and remaining respectful by not badgering or belittling him.

…

Husbands, if you found yourself nodding along with all that is asked of your wife in your marriage, I hope you will continue to nod as you learn what is asked of you. You are held accountable to God for your actions. If not on this earth, then on the day of judgment. Same as your wife. That’s not meant to be a scare-tactic, but a reality check. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. (Proverbs 9:10).

5 Ways God Calls a Husband to Invest in His Wife and Marriage1. Love your wife sacrificially

(Ephesians 5:25)

The kind of love that husbands are asked to love their wives with is the same love Christ loves His church with—a love so selfless that it required Him dying on a cross.

How else did Christ love His church?

He taught. He served. He fellowshipped. He healed. He prayed. He forgave. He put the needs of the Church above Himself and His own comfort.

This in addition to what love is as it’s listed in 1 Corinthians 13.

2. Lead your family with humility and wisdom

(Ephesians 5:23)

Leading your family is a position of humility not prideful arrogance. Godly wisdom is absolutely necessary to do this in a righteous way so as a husband, you must be in the Word and connected with God daily to make sure you are making good decisions that affect the family.

As husband and father, you need to be leading your wife and children to the Lord not only through teaching but by your example. If you’re teaching what you’re not living out, you’ll only be seen as a hypocrite and your family will likely not follow. Don’t dishonor God by dishonoring, misleading or mistreating your family.

3. Provide for Your family

(1 Timothy 5:8)

It is the husband’s responsibility to work and provide for your family. It seems like this would be obvious but the fact that it is drawn out in Scripture makes me wonder if there were common issues with this even in biblical times.

When there is no income, a family cannot eat or have shelter. This is one of your greatest responsibilities as a husband and Scripture says if you don’t care for your relatives, especially your immediate household, you’ve denied the faith and are worse than an unbeliever. That’s not something to take lightly!! This is a basic responsibility of the husband.

The needs of your family and household must come before your own wants, desires or comfort. Period.

4. Respect and Honor Your Wife

(1 Peter 3:7)

Be considerate and respectful of your wife. Don’t belittle her, embarrass her, or disregard her. Don’t manipulate her, use her, or blame her for your mistakes. When you truly love someone, you won’t want to be rude, disrespectful, or abusive to them.

Sometimes we slip up in the heat of the moment and disrespect slips out from high emotions. In this rare instance, repentance and forgiveness are in order. However, this should not be the norm.

Your wife is like fine china. She ought to be treated with care. Failing to do so will hinder your prayers. God holds us accountable for our actions. It may not be immediately, but eventually.

5. Nurture and Cherish Your Wife

(Ephesians 5:28-29)

If you care for yourself because you love yourself, you should also care for your wife because you love her. When you and your wife got married, you became one flesh. When you care for your wife, you care for yourself. If you care for yourself, you ought to also care from your wife.

It seems a simple enough concept yet it’s something that needed to be pointed out in Scripture. Don’t miss this.

If for some reason you struggle to care for yourself, you need to learn to. Because until you can care for yourself, you won’t be able to care for anyone else.

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Consider how glorious your marriage would be if you both followed these commands! It’s not impossible with God!! God would not ask something of us if His Spirit living in us could not help us carry it out.

If you are struggling to deny those fleshly desires or are being overrun by strong emotions, pray! Pray for God to help you. He will! Do not give in to what you know isn’t honoring to God.

When we align ourselves with the will and Word of God, our marriage will be blissful and blessed.

 

As I sat in my office last week, writing out my morning pages and listening to worship, I was wrestling with going to the gym. I didn’t want to go because I was having such a sweet time with the Lord and I didn’t want to rush it to go the gym. The idea of going was making me a bit anxious. It’s a whole ordeal just to get ready for the gym. While thinking about staying home brought me so much peace.

   

I talked on my personal IG a little about dabbling in worldly wisdom. A couple of years ago, I felt as if God’s Word had failed me even though I was doing my best to live it out. Well, it’s just not that simple. Because we aren’t perfect and we live in a world of many people not following the Lord. In other words, people are going to fail us.

Letting Go of God and Grabbing ‘Hold of Myself

I had let my relationship with God go. I stopped talking, I stopped listening. I moved further and further away from Him because I felt like, “What was the point?” I didn’t get what I wanted out of it, so I bailed. I let my pain speak for me. That may be an oversimplification of the grittiness of it, but in the end, that’s what it was. I leaned on my own understanding of things instead of seeking His.

So, I turned to myself. I focused on myself. Not with the wisdom of God, but with the wisdom of the world. Rather than allowing God to heal me His way, I took it into my own hands. And since I withdrew from Him, I started finding myself in other things. Mainly, going to the gym. Lifting. I allowed it to become my identity.

   

I completely wrapped myself up in it because it was something I could control. Only I could show up. Only I could put in the work. Only I could earn the results.

However…

As I’ve been working on my relationship with God, and the closer I get to Him, the less I want to go to the gym. Not because the gym is bad but because I was finding my identity in the gym and in my physique and in the control I felt it gave me. But that desire is fading. I don’t want to wrap myself up in this endeavor. Partially because I find I’m constantly disappointed. But also because it’s not fulfilling and when I focus so heavily on myself.

Don’t misunderstand…

Health, wellness, fitness—none of these things are bad. They are beneficial to a point. But for me, they took over my life. The cost was high—too high for me. It took lots of time and lots of mental space. I was constantly thinking about food, calories, my physique, and macros, and weighing it against how much activity I’d done that day. I was measuring it all. And when I failed to measure up, I felt like a failure. I was out of control of the one thing I thought I could control.

   

If I missed my protein goal, I failed. If I went over my fat goal, I failed. If I didn’t close all my activity rings, I failed. I “failed” a lot and it took its toll on how I saw myself. It seemed like everyone on Instagram had it all together. I know. I know. Instagram never tells the full story. But your brain doesn’t make that distinction unless you are intentional about telling it—every time you scroll through someone’s post, story, or reel. Your brain takes in what it sees.

Then I’d scroll social media and see these amazing fitness influencers who looked fabulous and I really wanted that. So, I would buck up and decide again that I was going to do this. I was going to close those rings and meet my protein goal and make this happen. I would show up to the gym again with new resolve. I’d be in the gym 2-3 hours. Walk one mile on the treadmill. Do my lifting routine. Do another mile on the treadmill; 4-6 days a week. I was going to make myself acceptable to the fitness world and to myself. Then I’d post about it all on Instagram.

It was a vicious cycle of failing to measure up and then resolving to measure up. I’d find myself once again chasing what was temporary and unfulfilling. Because I was created for a greater purpose and I wasn’t walking in it. I didn’t trust that God had my best self in Him.

For a couple of years now…

My flesh and spirit have been locked into this ongoing struggle. That day, God showed me the reason behind this conflict: while I desire what God provides, I've continually sought solace in worldly offerings. The two are fundamentally at odds, explaining the intensity of my wrestling match.

 

2021

 

I kept deactivating my lifting account on IG because I went back and forth between wanting that validation and then not wanting to live off it. I’d delete it, (which only deactivated it for 30 days before deleting) then I’d go back to it before it deleted and restore it. Because I thought it could deliver for me what I thought I needed.

Validation. Attention. Motivation.

Then I’d spend more time with God and realize how much I didn’t need nor want the attention or what I thought was validation of people on IG. So, I’d deactivate it again with the intent to delete it. And I kept changing my mind. Even though it kept failing to deliver.

I need to find a way to lift without it being a part of my identity. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that day it all made sense. As I’ve been focusing on building back my relationship with God, it’s also been a battle of back and forth with flesh and spirit.

For 8 years, I’d been listening to the wisdom of the fitness community.

“No excuses!”

“No one cares. Work harder!”

“Put yourself first”

“Don’t eat this, don’t eat that”

“Don’t do this, do that”

“Log everything”

“Take supplements”

“Don’t take supplements. They’re harmful”

When does something become an idol?

When you care about it more than God. When you serve it more than God. When it starts making you a slave to it, it’s no longer serving you. When your blessing turns into a curse, it’s time to reevaluate.

Want to know something else?

Because I had a spiritual battle going on inside me, my mental health was a mess and I wasn’t sleeping well. Mental health often stems from the spiritual. I was depressed on and off. I was horribly conflicted. I was anxious. I was constantly torn between conflicting information different health and fitness influencers would share.

So, does that mean I’m giving up lifting and my health? No. But I absolutely need to make some adjustments. I may need to go dark from sharing on social media for a while until I can learn to do this only for me and not need an audience.

When I am aligned with God, I have His peace because I know I’m exactly where I need to be. When I step outside His counsel, His commands, and His covering, it’s nothing but chaos and confusion. Everything inside me is a battle. My mental health becomes a mess because my spiritual health is in decline. They are the same. But that’s a conversation for another post.

I haven’t experienced this much peace about a decision in a long time. I know it’s the right one. Taking a step back means not lifting 4-6 days a week for 2+ hours each session. Instead, it will be 3-4 days a week for 45 minutes to an hour.

Other ways I stay active include daily walking, weekly roller skating, and when it warms up again, biking and hiking. Activities that are enjoyable and not all about burning calories but staying active and having fun.

Do you have something in your life that’s become an idol but you didn’t really recognize it as such?

 

The winter blues can hit you out of nowhere. Are you feeling kinda down, tired, have no motivation? Try these 4 ideas…

Once the holidays are over, the breaks are over and it’s back to the grind, here in the Midwest, we settle in for a long, dreary winter.

It just hits unexpectedly. I feel tired, unmotivated, and even a little depressed. I suddenly have little desire to tackle the goals I had such excitement over just the week before.

The days are short, cold, and gray. Everything outside is seemingly dead and dull. It certainly doesn’t inspire creativity.

Something I’ve learned when it comes to having an even mood and results in anything is consistency.

If you’re consistent in feeding negative thought patterns, you will be consistent in leading a negative life. Everything will be against you, in your eyes.

But, if you’re consistent in thinking empowering thoughts, and taking action on what can help you, you’re less likely to find yourself stuck. That’s not to say depression doesn’t happen ever but there are steps to take that can minimize that happening. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help if you find nothing else helps.

Here are a few things that help me beat the winter blues:1. Regular exercise

I walk at least 2 miles daily and strength train 4-5 days a week. This helps my mood tremendously. Keeping my body moving and blood flowing helps keep my thoughts affirming. It has taken me years to develop this discipline and I have to take care that I do not make excuses not to show up. Thirty minutes of exercise is truly enough to make an impact. And don’t underestimate the power of walking.

2. Plenty of sleep

Your body needs adequate time to recover each day—and more so if you’re fighting off an illness. Make sleep a priority in your life. Good sleep builds upon itself and helps keep your body and mind healthy.

3. Time outside

We don’t value outdoor time the way we should. Early morning sunlight is good for you in so many ways. It can improve your sleep quality and overall mood. It can boost energy levels and alertness to help you throughout the day. So, take a walk outside and you’ll increase your mood significantly.

4. Good nutrition

Good food equals a good mood. It’s just a fact. When we eat better, we feel better. Our body operates more efficiently and our minds follow suit. The body and brain are connected. What we do for our body, we do for our brain.

Consistency in all these areas is the key to their power. The more you do them daily, the more momentum they build and work in your favor.

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Once you learn what it means to be an empath, it’s easier to cope with and use it for good.

God has been revealing things to me, about me. Maybe He’ll use this to reveal something to you, about you, too.

For as far back as I can remember, I was the girl who wanted to help everyone. I wanted to make the world a better place and make life a bit easier for the next person. It’s so natural and embedded in me that to ignore it would be criminal.

I always had a strong sense of empathy for people but it wasn’t until recent years that I am learning just how deep that empathy goes. It’s not your average compassion or sensitivity. It’s an absorption of the emotions of other people right into my body. The more I learn about this phenomenon, the more I realize how much it really affects me.

There’s a difference between having empathy and being an empath. I’m an empath. That doesn’t mean I’m psychic or anything like that. While having empathy is a foundational aspect of being human by being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and have compassion, being an empath goes beyond that.

An empath is a person who is highly sensitive to the emotions and energy of others to the point where they have an innate ability to absorb and feel them on a deep, intuitive level. Because this heightened sense of emotion is so strong, they feel them as if they were their own and their body reacts accordingly.

I am super sensitive to the most subtle ways of communicating such as facial expressions, the tone of someone’s voice, the pattern of someone’s texts, and body language. I can hear what people don’t say.

It wasn’t until recently that I learned being an empath impacts my body through fatigue, depression, light and noise sensitivity, and an aversion to large groups (at least for long periods). My threshold for sensory overload is very low.

Looking back, it explains so much about myself and why I am the way I am. I don’t like leaving the house because of sensory overload. I still DO leave the house, but leaving drains me in ways I can’t fully explain. Being on the road with inconsiderate drivers and getting overwhelmed in the giant grocery store where people are often in a hurry and only looking out for themselves—it all drains me.

Being an empath and all it entails impacts me and my daily life and it’s something I’d love to talk more about moving forward. Do you think this is something you can relate to and would like to hear more about? I would like to share more specific examples and also the tools I’m learning to help me thrive as an empath rather than be crippled by it.

I have this tendency to take on other people’s feelings on certain issues because I gain an understanding of why they feel that way and then I end up losing myself and my way just a bit. Do that over and over and I’m way off course in my personal growth and I don’t even recognize myself. It sounds crazy, right?! But it is very real.

I want to share how God wants to use this to bless others rather than feel like it’s a curse. I’m rather excited about it!

Do you think you might be an empath, too?

Being joyful in motherhood isn’t dependent upon our circumstances. Joy will consistently elude us if we only choose it when everything is okay.

Motherhood typically starts off with much joy and an abundance of hope. It’s only natural in most cases. Sure, there is some trepidation about the future, but it’s usually quieted by the awe of this tiny human nestled in your arms.

As you enter different seasons of sleepless nights and toddler tantrums and potty training, you forget that joy. It’s there, but it’s buried under the duties and many hard moments and the sleep deprivation. As they grow into teenagers, it’s a whole other universe. The worry sets in. The independence and difference of values and opinions and the push back challenges you. You learn there’s a whole other way of parenting and it’s not the same way you’ve been doing it.

How can we stay connected with that joy our journey began with? We must stay connected to Jesus.

Be Joyful Always

We are encouraged to be joyful always. How is that even possible, right? It starts with a heart of gratitude and contentedness. When we stop reaching for the next thing believing it's the answer to being happy, we are free to fully live right where we are. It's a choice and we can choose to allow the Spirit to fill us with joy as we practice gratitude and contentment. Find joy by reading God’s Word.

Be Faithful in Prayer

We are instructed to pray continually. Lord knows when He created a way for us to communicate with Him, how much we would need it. We need Him every second of every day and He has given us the ability and power to talk to Him, ask Him what we need, and seek healing for the broken and brokenhearted.

Be Patient in Affliction

This one is particularly challenging for me because I hate conflict. I just want everyone to be happy in Jesus. I guess I’m a bit of an idealist and it’s taken me years to learn to let go of that. Holding onto ideals can be good because there’s nothing wrong with high standards. However, the only one we can set these ideals for is ourselves. So when the time comes that raising our children isn’t living up to the ideals we have set, we need to pray and be patient. God’s purpose for them is higher. God’s story for them is different.

Give Thanks

We are called to give thanks...in ALL circumstances. Again...it seems impossible. Thankfully we are in a relationship with a God...THE God...of the impossible. It IS possible to thank God while in the midst of less-than-stellar circumstances. If we lived according to our circumstances, we'd almost never be grateful for what we have. Because our circumstances will almost always fail us.

“The demanding of my own will is the singular force that smothers out joy — nothing else. Pride slays thanksgiving…A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves.” -Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

Be Hopeful

Our children are God’s before they are ours. He loves them more than we are even capable of. Which is truly comforting. I never thought of myself as a mom who worries but once my children became teens and as they are becoming adults, it’s been really hard to not worry. Don’t be discouraged if your kids do things differently than you did or you would have.

They are finding their own path and this is to be expected. As parents, we want our kids to follow the path of least resistance—or hardship. But they want to make those decisions for themselves and we need to let them. As our kids transition from teens to adults, our job transitions as well. We have every reason to hope that they will come out on the other side stronger and wiser for the challenges they will inevitably face. God will not leave them…nor us.

If you feel hopeless about your child’s situation, can I encourage you to take them to the Lord in prayer and get intentional about praying for them in specific ways. Jodie Berndt has written an amazing Praying the Scriptures series to help guide you through all stages of your child’s life.

Being Joyful in Motherhood is Found in Christ

Motherhood is an absolutely beautiful journey. But it’s important to understand that joy isn’t found or lost in the good or bad circumstances of being a mom. It’s found in Christ and His sacrifice, the purpose He has for you, the grace He’s given you, and also to your children.

He desires nothing more than a relationship with your children and for them to seek Him first. When they do, they will find Him. If you have a child who isn’t following the Lord, the best thing you can do for them is pray. The only One who has the power to change hearts is the Holy Spirit. Let Him do His good work while you battle for your child in prayer.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. -Romans 12:12

Live Joyful,
Christin

Homemaking is one of the biggest gifts we’ve been given to offer to our family. Seek to find joy in the simple things and you’ll find fulfillment in your everyday life. When you cultivate your home, you cultivate hearts.

Homemaking is one of the ultimate ways a wife and mom can give and serve her family. I have been homemaking for 21 years and I’ve learned a lot of lessons along the way. One of them is to not take this gift for granted. It is more than just a role — it’s giving of yourself in the most nurturing and practical ways possible….every day.

Homemaking is not dead. Far from it. It can be highly fulfilling when we have the right mindset.

Cultivating a home is a timeless craft we will always need to refine if we want to live in a peaceful, welcoming, and comfortable space where the Spirit of God is invited and our souls nurtured.

“Home is the place where the whispers of God’s love are heard regularly.”
-Sally Clarkson, The LifeGiving Home

It has definitely evolved over the centuries and decades and we are resilient people who have learned to adapt. There are different needs and challenges than there were even 25 years ago.

This is why homemaking is even more crucial and complicated and the need for consistency is even more imperative now. Yet, there is so much joy to be had in making a house a home when you stay focused on the basic and more profound needs of your family.

It isn’t just cleaning and cooking and de-cluttering that make a house peaceful and inviting. It’s making time and space to usher in the presence of God. It’s inviting Him into your space in a dozen different ways.

Cultivating a home created for God’s spirit to dwell isn’t just about what we do but how we do it.

Are we waking up each morning and seeing the possibilities and opportunities all around us or are we waking up each morning with dread, regret, and grumbling about the never-ending to do list? I have been the latter more times than I want to admit.

Joy cannot be cultivated in a home where the mother is constantly grumpy, stressed, and overwhelmed. I speak from experience. When you tire of living that way, you get intentional to make some changes, know what I mean?

Rediscover Homemaking

If you’re a mom raising teens, no doubt the climate and schedule of your home has changed since they were elementary-aged. One thing that I’ve learned [the hard way] is that I needed to adapt to the changing transitions and seasons. I couldn’t keep doing things the way I did when they were younger. As they grow and mature, our homemaking and home atmosphere need to take a shift as well.

Rather than trying to fight a losing battle by doing things the way we’ve always done them, we need to discover new ways that work for our family. Having chore charts was no longer serving my teens. With their schedules so erratic, doing daily chores at the same time each day was a battle I was losing. I needed to be more flexible and offer more reminders.

Appreciate the Everyday

Sometimes you don’t realize how much to appreciate the mundane until tragedy strikes. Being intentional about embracing the life you get to wake up to every day helps you learn to appreciate it. If there are things you don’t love, what is within your power to change?

Maybe there’s too much clutter, making it hard for you to focus. Maybe a cleaning routine needs to be put into place for more consistent tidiness. Perhaps you have a great system already going but it’s boring and you wish there was more excitement. (Or is that just me?)

Consistency is what helps keep a household running smoothly—not just practically, but emotionally and mentally as well. When you keep Jesus in the center and have regular time in the Word and pray continually, you bring His presence in allowing for a spiritual haven also. Contentment brings joy into your homemaking.

The Art of Slow Living

If you find yourself constantly on the run, driving from activity to activity without allowing much breathing room, it might be time to pull back. If it’s overwhelming and you find yourself rushing a lot, consistently pushing things off, or leaving tasks undone because you aren’t home, reevaluating the busyness may be in order.

Hurry always empties a soul.
-Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

Extracurricular activities are good until they take over the important aspects of your family life — such as dinner time. The fast-paced life doesn’t have to be “normal”. What’s common isn’t the same as what’s crucial. Let go of what’s not serving your family so you can live slow and soak in what God has for you and your family. Togetherness.

The Heart Behind Homemade

I home-make many of my meals—not all, but many. One of them is Chicken Pot Pie. This dish is a favorite among my family and it is a true labor of love. It takes 4-5 hours to make. I don’t make it often because of this. But I make it because my family loves it and they know the sacrifice and heart that goes into making it.

When we take the time to craft homemade meals and decorate to bring peace, it truly comes from the heart. Our children or teenagers may not realize or appreciate it at the time. But they will one day look back and recognize the heart you poured into making your house a home for them in the little things that won’t feel so little to them as they become adults. These are seeds you’re planting now. They take time to grow. Putting your heart into your home is vital for a house to be made a home.

Cultivate Gratitude

The surest way to find joy in your every day is to cultivate and practice gratitude. I write in my gratitude journal nearly every morning. I use Ann Voskamp’s Joy Dare cards to give me guidance.

Thanksgiving is the evidence of our acceptance of whatever He gives. Thanksgiving is the manifestation of our Yes! to His grace. -Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

When we slow our pace and take the time to observe the gifts around us, we realize how much we truly have. Being able to make a house a home is a gift, a privilege, and a sacrifice. A gift given from all the gifts we’re given.

Homemaking isn’t determined by what society thinks it should be. It’s determined by the values we have based on Scripture and those we want to pass down to our children. Homemaking is an act of service to our families. It’s not an oppressive role meant to keep women down. That kind of talk can only come from lips that are self-focused.

A Note for the Single Mom

I want to add, that if you’re a single mom, you are doubly challenged and you don’t go unseen. Teach your children as soon as they’re able to help out. While all families benefit from teaching their children to work, clean up after themselves, and serve one another, how much more is it needed for a mom who shoulders so much responsibility? Do whatever you can to keep things as simple as possible. You can absolutely build a joy-filled life as a homemaker, even if you’re working. Homemakers aren’t exclusive to stay-at-home moms. We ALL need to make our homes. Even if we aren’t there 24/7.

His Beloved,

Christin

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Homeschooling truly is a gift, but not everyone thrives in that space—and that’s ok.

Jeremiah with Christopher Lloyd at Comic Con 2023

When I set out to homeschool my children 17 years ago, the goal was to homeschool all the way through high school.

I chose to homeschool for many reasons. I wanted to be my children’s sole influence. I wanted them to learn in a way that worked for them, not against them. I wanted Jesus to be the center of everything. I wanted flexibility with our schedule and more family time.

As time went on, the school shootings and the controversial “health” curriculum only reinforced my decision. I wanted to protect my kids from topics they weren’t quite ready for and there are certain conversations I believe are meant for the parents to have and not the school system. At the very least as an option.

Despite my difference of opinion with the public school system, I believe God is just as able to use the public school for His glory as He is homeschooling.

My 16-year-old son is a very social young man and even though the school setting isn’t an entirely accurate picture of what socializing looks like in the long term, being around kids his own age and having a bit more academic accountability coming from someone other than me may be what he needs at this season of his life.

Would I like him to stay home and finish out his remaining years homeschooling? Yes. I would. But I also support my son in allowing him to learn to make a choice for himself. I trust that he knows his own mind enough to know what he needs. And even if it turns out he’s mistaken, he’s learned more about himself than he would have if he hadn’t stepped out to give it a shot.

This gives me and his dad the opportunity to pray, trust, and allow God to take the lead in places we can’t always be. And that time will come for all of our kids. Eventually, we will send them off to college or launch them out into the world in some other way. Some kids are ready for that sooner than others and it’s important to us to be somewhat intentional about treating our kids as individuals and not a collective group. So, we need to consider their needs at that level.

Putting my son in public school doesn’t only affect his schedule, though. It also affects ours. One of the conditions of him entering public school was that he had to have his driver’s license and a car so he could drive himself. However, it will give us less flexibility when it comes to taking family camping trips or other vacations. But it’s something we are willing to work around, even if we are a bit resistant to it at first, in order to show him that in this family, he matters, too.

Sometimes our plans don’t go the way we envision them and I’m learning that’s OK. We adjust. We adapt. We pray. A lot.

God has our kids in the palm of His hands…just as surely as He has us. We can trust Him with them. Somehow we all need to learn to navigate the waters of this world without drowning in it.

We left our church after 8 years because God is doing something new in our family. Not every exit is because something bad happened.

Let’s talk!

Raw, real, relational.

We’d been going to our church for 8 years. It’s an amazing church with absolutely amazing people. We even moved our family to be closer to it and become a deeper part of the community as a whole.

So, when we began feeling the nudge to go, it was difficult to listen. For 2 years, we held on, uncertain if that’s really what we were supposed to do. We didn’t want to uproot our kids because that’s kind of a big deal.

But our family needed to make the tough choice to let go of the season that was long over and no longer helping us grow. God wanted to do something new.

It’s not because the church was at fault at all. It’s simply because the vision of the church was moving in a different direction than we were. And it’s very difficult to serve when you’re struggling to follow the vision.

We went through some very, very difficult family challenges while in this church and we came out of them completely changed. We aren’t the same people we were when we started going there 8 years ago, and the church isn’t the same church we came to either, and guess what? These are GOOD things!

We still believe in what our former church is doing. But we recognized God was stirring something new in us and we needed something different in this new season.

Listen, going to church is absolutely about serving the body of Christ and ministering to the lost. But it’s also about being ministered to and being poured into.

Going to church isn’t only about serving and giving and pouring out. A church should also pour into us. We cannot give from an empty cup. I’m not talking about it giving us everything we want. I’m talking in a deeply spiritual sense.

While we are also to feed ourselves from God’s word and through prayer, the body of Christ is designed to deeply and spiritually nourish one another also. We couldn’t quite get the nourishment we needed — again, not anyone’s fault. We were feeling empty in some ways and we needed to be filled so we could serve again.

I think it’s important that people learn it’s ok to move on from a church that has nothing “wrong” with it. Granted, no church is perfect. I simply mean, it doesn’t need to be heretical for there be a reason to move on. God calls us to different seasons for different reasons. He moves us into different spaces and places to put certain people in our paths.

We can’t always see or know everything He’s doing while He’s doing it. But when we pause to look back, we can see how His hand was at work.

This new church we’re going to is only the second church we’ve been to where we have had no prior connections. We aren’t church hoppers by any stretch. We’ve belonged to 4 churches in the last 23 years. And every time we’ve started going to a new church, we thought we’d stay planted there the rest of our lives. We like to put roots down.

But churches and people change and evolve and sometimes they change and devolve. Just as the church has a vision for its direction, so do we as a family. We want to make sure our vision is can be fulfilled just as much as the church’s vision.

I’m excited for this new season, this fresh start, this beginning for me and my family. We are looking forward to new growth and inviting God to bring new growth where there’s been pruning.

With this new season God has opened up doors for me in other places as well and I can’t wait to share more!

Being conscious of our own mental wellness can help us thrive when we have the tools and desire to care for ourselves.

When my first child moved out and got married, I was more of an emotional wreck than I ever expected to be. It took many, many months of prayer and guidance to help me learn how to channel my thoughts and emotions so they didn’t affect me on a daily basis. To be blunt, I was a train wreck.

Mental health awareness has been a topic of conversation for many years. But it has gained some greater visibility in more recent years due to the pandemic. However, I didn’t feel I was in a place to really write or talk about it until now.

To truly grasp mental health, we must acknowledge that our minds are just as integral to our being as our physical bodies if not more. Our minds are powerful tools that affect every part of our lives and health.

How we begin our day. How we view ourselves. How we respond to stress. Oh, there are truly endless things our minds are responsible for and capable of. The challenge is, we don’t stop and take the time to learn about ourselves and how our particular mind works for or against us.

Having good mental health isn’t about willpower. It’s about training, educating, healing, and nurturing your mind. Sometimes that includes going to a therapist for a bit of extra support.

Some people need a bit of extra guidance and tools more than others. Whether that be counseling, medication, or changes in lifestyle.

We all benefit from having good mental health and doing what’s necessary to make that happen. We also benefit from understanding those who have mental health struggles different from our own. We need to talk about it because we need a better understanding of ourselves and one another.

As with anything, we should maintain a balanced approach. If we are struggling, we need to make certain we are seeking the necessary steps to get the help we require.

What are some of the advantages of being proactive about our mental well-being? This is by no means an exhaustive list, but it’s a great start!

The benefits of improving our mental health include:Emotional Stability

Our emotions make up a large part of who we are but we get to decide how we channel them. Do we want to be sad, annoyed, frustrated, critical, or short-fused on a regular basis? Or would we rather be happy, patient, and lifegiving most of the time? How we nurture our own mentality plays a large role in how well we regulate our emotions.

Better Physical Health

I don’t need to be the one to tell you that stress has a large negative effect on the body. When we aren’t managing our stress well, we can suffer from headaches, stomach ache, insomnia, bowel issues and so much more. And that’s all just from one emotion that goes unchecked or untreated.

What about unprocessed grief? Or trauma that has not been worked through? Not only do these take a toll on our mental wellbeing but also our physical. Left unresolved, these issues can cause weakened immune systems, muscle tension and pain.

Improved Relationships

When our mental health suffers, our relationships suffer. When we take the time to care for our own needs, we are more equipped to care for the needs of those we love. We cannot pour from an empty cup. Having a healthy mental state requires we love ourselves enough to invest in it. We cannot love others well when we don’t even love ourselves.

Self-love

We learn to love ourselves when we make the time to nurture ourselves. You need to know that you matter and that you’re worthy, right now, right where you are. Self-love isn’t selfish, it’s primal. You nourish your body because you love yourself. You nurture your mind because you love yourself. When you recognize that you’re worthy of love, you’re able to invest in yourself so you’re better equipped to invest in others.

It’s really quite remarkable how much is in our power to nurture our mental well-being and that’s one of the things I’m so excited to share with you moving forward.

The idea of helping someone reach a point of freedom in their lives is exhilarating because I know what it feels like to walk in this freedom and I want that for everyone.

That’s not to say I don’t have bad days or even bad weeks. I do. And I am still learning how to train myself in good habits and life-giving thinking. Not only about my circumstances but about my self. Engaging in this work of mental well-being may be challenging, but it is essential for experiencing a fulfilling life that goes beyond mere sustainability—it is about finding joy and pleasure in the journey.

I will be writing a follow-up on different ways we can nurture our mental health so we can live a joy-filled and empowering life we’re excited to wake up to. It is possible!

What is one thing you do to nurture your mental well-being?  

We live in a time when trying to get and stay healthy is harder than ever before. See if you can relate to any of these challenges.

Why is it so hard to live a healthy lifestyle? I’ve been fighting to live healthy and fit for years. It’s an up-and-down journey for sure. But some aspects of it just get very tedious and mundane.

I’ve been strength training for seven years. The last 3 in particular I’ve done pretty much the same thing over and over again. It’s become quite routine and boring. I’ve struggled to track food regularly because it gets ridiculously tiresome, especially when you’re eating from a new recipe or something someone else has made. How do you track that? So I just don’t.

Living healthy is like a part-time job almost. It takes a lot of time and consistency and it can be overwhelming, discouraging, and get boring after a while.

So, yeah, I may be lamenting a bit, but it’s a reality for many people! It’s a constant mind battle to stay in the game. And sometimes, we just get tired.

Here are some startling reasons why it’s so hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle:

1. A Busy Lifestyle

Getting fit and healthy requires making time for it. Making real food from scratch, making time to workout most days, going to bed early to get enough hours of sleep—it all requires more time. It’s one of the most utilized reasons why people don’t workout and eat better. Evening activities make it difficult to make a home-cooked meal. Moms who are already crazy busy trying to find an hour to spend exercising feels impossible. I get it. I’ve been there. It’s a legit hardship.

2. Lack of Discipline

Even when you take the time to live and be healthy, it requires discipline to keep at it. This is where a lot of people get tripped up in the process. When we lose motivation, we just don’t do it. I am totally guilty of this. Sometimes I’m tired, overwhelmed, or frustrated and nothing in me wants to go to the gym. We live in a society that makes it so simple to take the easy road. Less healthy foods are readily available, sitting is more common than moving, and being tired tends to be the norm. Technology also keeps us sedentary.

3. Being Overwhelmed with Information

Let’s face it. There is a lot of information out there on health and fitness. It can be super overwhelming and the reality is, not all the information is good, helpful, or even accurate. Getting started can feel overwhelming not knowing what to follow or the best way to go about it. And sometimes, even once you’re going, sticking with building habits consistently can feel like a burden some days. So the plethora of information overload can be paralyzing.

4. Getting Discouraged

Most people decide to get healthy in order to lose weight. That’s not unusual nor is it a wrong reason to start. However, if you’re not losing weight as quickly as you’d hoped, or you’ve hit your weight loss goal, continuing on can feel discouraging if you don’t have a new goal. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle honestly feels boring after a while, so maybe we begin to give in to our temptations more often. Maybe we make an excuse for not hitting the gym. Then we do it again. Before we know it, months have gone by and we’ve gained half or all the weight back. Then we’re really discouraged. Why do I want to start all over now?! Countless people have gone through this cycle more than once…myself included.

5. Lack of Support and Accountability

It’s hard to find people who will support you in living healthily because it’s not considered normal. Instead of encouraging you, many people will tempt you instead. “Oh, one brownie won’t hurt you. Come on!” We need the right balance of support and accountability. We were made to thrive in community. When we have someone cheering us on and making sure we don’t give up, it’s empowering. We just need to be careful not to solely rely on the support of others. Because if it’s not there for some reason, we need to be able to press on. However, there is definite power in numbers and we shouldn’t underestimate that potential.

What’s so startling about these reasons that make living healthy harder than ever before? These are just a handful of reasons. It seems like there will always be some kind of barrier we need to overcome and push through to fight for our health and well-being. The reality is, our current culture is not set up in favor of living healthy. It’s set up for ease, but that ease comes with great cost. We also have a battle in our minds to fight every single day. Every day we wake up, we have a choice.

Creating a healthy lifestyle will require habit changes and making sacrifices. But I promise, the benefits will far outweigh the “losses”. Your energy will improve, your mood will get better, and your risk for disease will decrease.

Yes, living healthy is absolutely tough at times and requires hard work. But living sick is harder.