Mary Banos's Blog

This is such an inspiring example of going for your dreams regardless of the obstacles.

Mandy started singing at age 4, and lost her hearing at age 18.  Now at age 29 she stepped out and auditioned as a Singer on the talent show, “America’s Got Talent.”   Wow, she is amazing!  And she was given the “Golden Buzzer” to skip through to the live show.

A couple of quotes in Mandy’s story:

“It’s not a dream that I had always had.  That’s okay.  Because I showed up and I did something that I never believed that I could do.”

“After I lost my hearing, I gave up.  But I want to do more with my life than just give up.”

I hope that you are uplifted, and encouraged by her story.

What is your dream?

“If you don’t do the things that are required to create the life you want, or to become the person who you wish to be, you’re eventually going to be forced to spend a whole lot of time dealing and living a life you never intended on having.  If you look at your life and you find that you are not happy with who you are or where you are, it is your responsibility to take the actions to change that.  Don’t waste your time thinking, wishing, or hoping that someone else can ever do this for you.  It is you that holds the key to unlocking this possibility.  Deed by deed, action by action, do the things to become the person you are meant to be and live a life or honor and worth.  Live, give, love, and inspire.”

 

Written by my friend:  Robert Luna

 

 ”My name is Sapna Rampersaud and I am 19 years old in my second year at Harvard University. When most people look at me, they see a bright, confident, and successful young woman who seems to have been brought up with all the means necessary to reach the stars. Most people, however, don’t know that I came from a childhood that provided just the opposite. My youth was plagued with poverty after my parents got divorced.
 When I was only seven and my father walked out on us, we struggled with unemployment, lack of food, and no hot water which meant waiting on lines at food pantries and showering with cold water (something that we still have to do to this day). Growing up on Long Island, it sounds uncanny, but my younger days were dark and seemed insurmountable. Luckily, at a very young age, I realized something that got me through the tough times and brought me much success.
 I realized that I needed to use each obstacle in my life as a stepping stone to ascend me higher. I taught myself that the only thing that was going to push me forward was my education and dedicating the little that I had to it got me into Harvard. I never once let money, or lack thereof, get in the way of that dream. If sharing my better-forgotten past can help others see the potential in themselves and empower them to achieve the things that I have and more, then here it is. To this day, I look back on my childhood and see that it made me who I am today. I am proud of my accomplishments and hope to see the day where countless others who face similar struggles can smile through the challenges and use them to become successful. It is possible, and anyone can do it.”

 - Sapna Rampersaud

I am outraged, as I know many other people are, by both the soft sentence given to Brock Turner by Judge Aaron Persky, as well as the outrageous letter from Brock’s father Dan Turner in his defense.  I am responding to the father’s letter due to my experience of having a brother who is incarcerated for the act of rape.

 

From one relative of a rapist to another relative of a rapist, I would like to express some thoughts to Mr. Dan Turner in reference to the letter.

 

For those who are not familiar with this story, here is a link to one of the articles:

http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/06/us/sexual-assault-brock-turner-stanford/

 

In 1989 I had a younger brother who committed the act of rape.  He was arrested and convicted in 1990, and remains incarcerated to this day.  His lawyer interviewed me at the time and I had the opportunity to cover for my brother and give him a false alibi to keep him from going to prison. I spoke the truth and another brother blamed me for our brother being incarcerated.  He said, “We cover for our own.”  As I saw it, the woman who my brother raped deserved justice. I also knew that if I wrongly helped him and he raped other women in the future, those assaults would be on my shoulders. So I told the truth and let him face the consequences of his actions. I still stand by my decision today.

 

This young woman who was raped by Brock Turner deserves justice.  She deserves to be valued as the human being who she is, and to not be treated as a mistake by a depressed young man who was not handling college life well.  Why is it that her thoughts and feelings are so less important than the man who took advantage of her situation one evening when he chose to assault her rather than to help her?

 

Here are some questions which I have for Mr. Dan Turner:

 

1)    You mention the importance of Brock’s dreams and how hard he has worked for them.  What about this young woman’s dreams? What about things she has worked for, and aspired to become?  How much has this damaged her?

2)    You mentioned how your son has been depressed, and is no longer the smiling and happy go lucky guy he was before.   What about this young woman? Is she smiling?  Is she feeling carefree and happy?

3)    Not only has Brock refused to own up and take responsibility for his actions, but you have reinforced this.  So you are proud to have a son who refuses to take responsibility for his crime?  What does this say about his character?  What does it show about your character?

4)     If your son had been passed out in a public place and someone assaulted him, would you then feel the same way as you do now?  Would your son then be the problem, and his attacker the victim?

 

 

I am dumbfounded by Dan Turner’s words and the absolutely ridiculous way in which he has turned the victim into the criminal, and the criminal into the victim. I am appalled by the way Judge Aaron Persky seems to feel that a “slap on the wrist” is a more fitting outcome for this rapist, then for him to actually face true punishment for his crime.

 

The REAL way to help a relative who is a rapist is to help them to face their crime, take responsibility, and to go through the process to face the consequences and improve their character to not commit that crime again.   That is how I faced the rape committed by my brother.  Why can you not do that for your son Mr. Turner?

Just seeing this attached picture inspired me to write a post.   Think about that statement for a moment ~ “Just breathe… You’ll never live this moment again.”

Many current moments are robbed by thoughts of the past or future.   At times we focus on regrets, pains, etc of the past.  Then there are times which we focus on stress and worry about the future.  Many times these are thoughts which only deprive us of enjoying the moment.  Then we are left feeling frustrated, emotional, unhappy, or other such sensations.

It is important to decide when time should be spent on these feelings, when we need to direct those thoughts into a productive direction, and when we need to simply move on from those thoughts.

Sometimes you need to tell yourself to “Just breathe.”   Each moment only comes once.  Enjoy each moment that can be enjoyed, and limit the moments that are spent dwelling on the past or future.  Just breathe.

What inspired you to write your first book? 
I have always been able to write. I tried years ago with romance short stories, but never got anywhere with them. I stuck with the writing, and a double homicide in my town is what sparked Murder Most Foul.

 

It is interesting that you write multiple genres of books: mystery, fantasy, crime, and paranormal.  What led to your interest in each of these areas? 
I have a lot of interests. So many genres are interesting. Who doesn’t like these genres?

 

I see that you are also an artist.  Where did your love of art start? 
That also started in childhood. I wanted to be a professional painter, but my mother disapproved of art in any form. She thought it was dumb and a waste of money.

 

Who has influenced you the most in your writing and art? 
My art teachers from my school days influenced me and authors such as Gregg Olsen and Ann Rule.

 

What other interests do you have which you have not yet attempted? 
I had dreams of being an actress, but being a mother was hard enough.

 

Can you share what you most like for your readers to know about you? 
Besides my hobbies, I volunteer my time within my community. I believe in family values and following your dreams.

 

What are you most proud of in your life? 
That would be being a mother.

 

Do you have any tips which you want to share with other authors? 
Never give up. If you want to write and publish a book, it will happen if you stay with it.

What most inspires you?  
The unknown, which is why I wrote Loves, Myths, and Monsters. It is a fantasy anthology starring the Mothman, the Chupracabra, Mermaids, reincarnation, time travel, a love curse, and etc. It was released through Melange Books April 9th.

 

Anything else that you want to share?  
I just want readers to understand that you must follow your dreams and never give up.

 

Blurb for Murder Most Foul:
: When two dismembered torsos wash up on the banks of the local river in the small industrial town of Pleasant Valley, residents are horrified. Between contradicting statements, police ineptitude, lust, lies, manipulation, incest, the motorcycle gang The Devil’s Disciples, crooked cops, and a botched crime scene, everyone becomes a suspect. The young beautiful Jackie Reeves, a registered nurse, believes the killer is a man from her past. She contacts the dangerously handsome FBI Agent Walker Harmon. An arrest is made, but Harmon and Jackie believe an innocent man is being railroaded by local cops. How far will these lover’s go to solve this heinous crime before anymore killings. Determined to find the truth, Agent Harmon and Jackie are forced to run a gauntlet of deep trouble and turmoil, which marks them for death.
 www.melange-books.com/authors/joannemyers/MMF.html
http://www.lulu.com/shop/joanne-myers/murder-most-foul/paperback/product-21183493.html

Website: Books and Paintings by JoAnne
http://www.booksandpaintingsbyjoanne.com

Email: joannetucker98@yahoo.com

Other books by JoAnne:

Loves, Myths, and Monsters, a fantasy anthology available April 9
Twisted Love- a biography true crime anthology available May 10
Flagitious-a detective/mystery novella anthology available in 2014
The Crime of the Century-a biography true crime available now
Poems About Life, Love, and Everything in Between available now

What inspired you to write your first book? 
I have always been able to write. I tried years ago with romance short stories, but never got anywhere with them. I stuck with the writing, and a double homicide in my town is what sparked Murder Most Foul.

 

It is interesting that you write multiple genres of books: mystery, fantasy, crime, and paranormal.  What led to your interest in each of these areas? 
I have a lot of interests. So many genres are interesting. Who doesn’t like these genres?

 

I see that you are also an artist.  Where did your love of art start? 
That also started in childhood. I wanted to be a professional painter, but my mother disapproved of art in any form. She thought it was dumb and a waste of money.

 

Who has influenced you the most in your writing and art? 
My art teachers from my school days influenced me and authors such as Gregg Olsen and Ann Rule.

 

What other interests do you have which you have not yet attempted? 
I had dreams of being an actress, but being a mother was hard enough.

 

Can you share what you most like for your readers to know about you? 
Besides my hobbies, I volunteer my time within my community. I believe in family values and following your dreams.

 

What are you most proud of in your life? 
That would be being a mother.

 

Do you have any tips which you want to share with other authors? 
Never give up. If you want to write and publish a book, it will happen if you stay with it.

What most inspires you?  
The unknown, which is why I wrote Loves, Myths, and Monsters. It is a fantasy anthology starring the Mothman, the Chupracabra, Mermaids, reincarnation, time travel, a love curse, and etc. It was released through Melange Books April 9th.

 

Anything else that you want to share?  
I just want readers to understand that you must follow your dreams and never give up.

 

Blurb for Murder Most Foul:
: When two dismembered torsos wash up on the banks of the local river in the small industrial town of Pleasant Valley, residents are horrified. Between contradicting statements, police ineptitude, lust, lies, manipulation, incest, the motorcycle gang The Devil’s Disciples, crooked cops, and a botched crime scene, everyone becomes a suspect. The young beautiful Jackie Reeves, a registered nurse, believes the killer is a man from her past. She contacts the dangerously handsome FBI Agent Walker Harmon. An arrest is made, but Harmon and Jackie believe an innocent man is being railroaded by local cops. How far will these lover’s go to solve this heinous crime before anymore killings. Determined to find the truth, Agent Harmon and Jackie are forced to run a gauntlet of deep trouble and turmoil, which marks them for death.
 www.melange-books.com/authors/joannemyers/MMF.html
http://www.lulu.com/shop/joanne-myers/murder-most-foul/paperback/product-21183493.html

Website: Books and Paintings by JoAnne
http://www.booksandpaintingsbyjoanne.com

Email: joannetucker98@yahoo.com

Other books by JoAnne:

Loves, Myths, and Monsters, a fantasy anthology available April 9
Twisted Love- a biography true crime anthology available May 10
Flagitious-a detective/mystery novella anthology available in 2014
The Crime of the Century-a biography true crime available now
Poems About Life, Love, and Everything in Between available now

I have been looking for a new apartment home.  In making some phone calls to prospective places, I had a couple of calls which left me thinking about the difference that can be experienced in the tone and voice of the person on the other end.
There was a property which I called with a staff member that left me feel like I was bothering her, simply by the way that she sounded on the phone.  Maybe she was multitasking while on the call with me.  Maybe she was not feeling good.  Or maybe she had something on her mind.  Either way it was not an enjoyable call by the way she sounded and talked with me.   I did not let that hinder me from visiting her community.  However it would of been nice to have had a more enjoyable phone call experience with her.
Then there was a call with another property in which the person on the other end of the phone sounded extremely friendly. She sounded like she was interested in talking with me, and like she really wanted to help me find a new home.  I felt uplifted by her personality.   Though I did not visit her property due to her stating that it would be a few weeks until they would know if they would have what I was looking for, I almost wanted to visit her property just based on my wonderful phone conversation with her.
I believe in every day ways of being able to uplift and encourage others.  Simply by how you talk with someone during a phone call can impact them.  Are you encouraging by your phone personality?  Or are you discouraging?  Sometimes we do not realize how we may be impacting others by how we sound during a phone call.  We can make a difference in every day, simple ways.

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does
enlarge the future.”

 

~ Paul Boese

What is the title of your current book?

 

       I published my first book, Who I Am Yesterday: A Path to Coping with a Loved One’s Dementia, in June of 2012.  This was a self published adventure.  The book was read by a publisher and we now plan the release of an expanded version sometime in the near future.
       I am also working on a book entitled Why Me: Come Let us Reason with Job.

 

Can you share your message in your published book?
 
       I would suppose that the overall message is that you have to find your own path when faced with caring for a debilitated loved one.  It may not be the one I took, but whatever it is you need to feel confident that you did what was best for you and the person you are caring for.
        The book started as a journal.  Little bits of stuff and such that I would type in the evening, trying to sort out for myself what worked and what was a total disaster.  As it started to actually take some kind of shape I shared it with a few friends and co-workers.  One co-worker told me she laughed, cried, and wanted more.  So, I wrote more.  One person told me they would like more details about how I handled specific issues.  I searched my memory and watched my days and wrote more.  Nearing the anniversary of my husband’s diagnosis, I felt it was time to wrap it up and publish.
        Since then I have added many things to my blog:  Stories, insights, poems, and moments of reflection.  My new publisher has asked me to incorporate these things into an expanded version and to include the photographs of Vancouver Island that did not make it to the first edition.  The book opens during our vacation on that beautiful island; his disease took a rather drastic downward curve during that fateful week. 

 

Please share an excerpt from your book:
 
When I Became Legion

 

       As mentioned, we were staying in Nanaimo and had arrived late in the afternoon of our first day. Our room had a tiny kitchen corner so that we could save on meal costs during our stay, and was pretty centrally located for all the places we had planned to see. The weather for the rest of the week was absolutely beautiful. He seemed comfortable being with me no matter where we went, after all, I was his long lost girlfriend. At least at the moment. Ever watchful, I tried to learn to answer his questions with patience as if he had never been told before. Where were my parents? Did I have siblings? Where did I live? One night he woke up and asked whose stuff was hanging in the corner? He would stand by the shores of lakes and the Georgia Strait and tell me all about what “they” wanted him to do, in terms I no longer understood. Then he would ask me about the lady that was with him yesterday.
         He had remembered that we were supposed to contact someone about his work and wondered when we would see them, and then he told me they had called. He saw them; people had come to talk to him. Didn’t I know these people? He was sure they were part of “my team.” Each day was a test. The odd thing is that I always seem to be “me” at the present moment (not his wife, just me), but even now I am never sure of Who I Am Yesterday, or even a few hours ago.
         So I spent our vacation week learning, testing, watching, and hoping. But it was also a week of spending time with my beloved in the most beautiful place we had been for a long, long time. We managed to wander through that emotional minefield and actually, I believe, enjoy ourselves. Yes, I cried. Buckets. Quiet, private, buckets.
       When I did leave for brief periods for those job interviews, he seemed fine when I returned. I was the one that had trouble figuring out who left and who came back. I kept hoping, though, that once I got him home something would trigger his memory. Something, anything would reach him and he might understand something of what was happening. I kept telling him I could show him these things he did not believe once we returned to Calgary. “I have pictures, I have documents, and there are people that know us. Just wait, I’ll show you.” I asked him to be patient and reassured him that we had plane tickets and that we were scheduled to return. And yes, I knew he had lots of books, no really, lots of books.
            Our week in a far away land came to an end, and so it was, as I had promised him, that I took him back to Calgary where all his things were kept.

 
Can you share about yourself, and your background?
 
       My basic career has been in accounting and business management.  That has led me into all sorts of professional alleyways such as real estate brokerage, computer systems design, and maintenance.  I guess I get bored easily.  The reason I am so passionately pursuing this long buried drive to write is my husband. 
 
 
What are your hobbies and interests?

 

       I like creative types of things.  I love photography, needlepoint, pottery, gardening and music.  I am a voracious reader.  I am rather eclectic in my selection but mostly centered in history, archaeology, anthropology, philosophy, religion and science.  I also love a good fiction tale. 
 

 

What inspired you to start writing and to be an author?
 
       My husband has a Ph.D. in philosophy, as well as a couple of masters in mathematics and the sciences.  He always loved reading my little dabbling and constantly nagged me to publish.  I truly wish I had not waited so long that he is no longer able to understand what I am doing and why.  But the man I knew still speaks in my ear as I write and re-write the thoughts and conclusions we spent so many years debating.
 

 

What is your favorite quote or phrase which motivates you?

 

       There are so many that I hold very precious and instructional.  If I had to pick only one it would be the phrase that hangs over my desk:  “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.”  Of all the lessons I have learned in life this is the hardest:  I cannot “fix” everything, everything is not my fault, and sometimes we must do the best we can and let it be. 
 

 

Is there anything that you would like to share with your readers?
 
       I shaped my little book, Who I Am, around the Desiderata.  I think that for the most part I try to listen to the voice of Max Ehrmann and take pride in what I have accomplished and in the fact that I am a thinking rational being able to be amazed by the universe we live in.  And yet remain humble enough to learn and share, to have the wisdom to know when I should and can be of help, and when I should turn away.
 

 

Please share the link to your book with us:
http://www.amazon.com/Who-Am-Yesterday-Coping-Dementia/dp/1475152183/


Please list your websites:
http://victoriasreadingalcove.wordpress.com/
https://www.facebook.com/readingalcove