C.J. Hill's Blog

I am very pleased to announce the arrival of Lydia, a new novel based on Pride and Prejudice. It is delivered from Lydia’s perspective and one I have thought long and hard about whether or not to publish; consequently it has lain gathering e-dust for several years. I pulled it up a year ago and decided that I would at least finish it for my own satisfaction as there were some interesting ideas in there regarding different perspectives of Lydia’s behaviour and decisions. She is, after all, the catalyst in Pride and Prejudice for many of the troubles caused to her sisters and family, followed closely by Wickham. I have always found these two the most interesting characters in the novel, for who does not like a careless teenager or an opportunistic rake? While we shake our heads at their behaviour, we cannot but admire their single-minded determination even if it is mainly unguided and selfish.

We already know that Fate will eventually catch up with them, and so can only watch with pity as they careen headlong towards a future very different from the one they imagine. For various reasons they will not listen, heed advice, slow down, or wait a while, and the cumulative result is one of their own making alone. They can blame no one but themselves, but they can also be relied upon not to do so, as their misfortunes in their eyes, have nothing to do with them. No, it is Fate that has betrayed them, has stepped in and ruined their dreams, aided by a lack of resources and friends, that is to blame.

I hope you will enjoy this adaptation as it weaves in-between Pride and Prejudice and my own Wickham’s Wife to highlight just how messy life can become when all the warning signs are wilfully ignored.

Available for purchase from Amazon https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CXZTC222

For the past year, I have been writing the fourth – I hesitate to state final – book in the Felicity in Marriage series, and I am happy to announce that it is now available for pre-order here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08LP57J74. A preview is included below.

The ending of Discretion or Disgrace left several questions that required an answer. How does Lydia take to motherhood and Wickham to his enforced fatherhood? Are Mrs. Bennet and Mary forced to leave Longbourn? What does the future hold for the Collins’ family, controlled it is by both the Rosings Park and Longbourn entails?

The characters have led me on their merry – or not so merry – way once again as they decide how best to live their lives; decisions which, inevitably, affect all those around them. When one character acts in a certain way, they do not act in isolation. Just as in real life, one single action always causes multiple reactions, and it is often those reactions which offer the greatest joy to a writer. When characters are allowed to behave the way they want, and not how you had it planned, they can take you along and down some fairly narrow back alleys and dark staircases.

Of course, the two greatest worries in the Bennet family have always been the entail of Longbourn and Lydia’s behaviour, both of which are addressed in each of the FIM books and provide a ready supply of material to work with. The inaction of Mr. Bennet has been the cause of both of these problems, which are now coming home to roost with a vengeance.

Once again, the friendship and love between sisters and parents overcomes many obstacles, but there is also the inevitable irritation and frustration that is often a part of being a member of any family group. It is well recorded that family was very important to Jane Austen, and while often treating her siblings to an ironic roasting now and again, she would not for the world have had them suffer from her comments or actions. So it is with most of her characters, I believe. Most, but not all. Some of her characters in this novel continue to display selfishness and discontentment, even more than they have in the past, but I think is a plausible reaction to the extreme situations in which they find themselves.

As I state in the Epilogue:

And so we farewell the families of Pemberley, Brightwell, Longbourn, Meryton Parsonage, and Rosings as they each continue to be absorbed by the minutiae of their daily vexations and delights … each of them leaving their pasts behind and embarking upon new and unknown futures in the hope of creating better, more successful lives for themselves. Resolutions have been made and enacted; lives changed and re-arranged; loves found and lost; but as is always the case, only the passage of time will tell how prudential any of those decisions have been.

Now all that remains is for us to offer our sincerest best wishes to everyone concerned for their future health and happiness as we gently close the door into their world, and return to our own once more.

Resolutions Chapter One begins here:

“Without a doubt, she is the most delightful child, Lizzy,” Jane smiled down at her sleeping niece. “She takes after you, I think, whereas Anne looks more like her father every day.”

Elizabeth smiled as she relaxed against the couch cushions in her private sitting room. “I believe you may be right, Jane; but let us hope she does not inherit all my traits or I shall have some work to do, shall I not?”

“Oh no, Lizzy! What nonsense! Your traits as you call them are what makes you as you are, and even if you may …”

“… Prejudge strangers? Speak my mind? Argue? Be predisposed to laugh at foolishness? Decline offers of marriage when accepting would have been of great benefit to our whole family?”

“Lizzy! None of those are defects in your character my dear, and especially not the last one. Our cousin was fortunate indeed to find his best partner in life, and must be eternally grateful to you for your refusal. No other woman would have been willing to take him on as Charlotte has done, and quite successfully too, has she not?”

“Indeed she has,” Elizabeth laughed. “She possesses the most forbearing nature of any person I know, other than you, my dear sister. If I had married Mr. Collins, both he and I would have been extremely unhappy within weeks, that much is certain; but Longbourn would still be ours and Mamma would not be dreading the dismal prospect of having to remove herself from everything she has ever known. I cannot but feel she blames me still for her predicament, even though it has not yet happened. But it must very soon, I believe.”

The baby woke and stared unblinkingly at her aunt. “There! I believe she knows me already, Lizzy! There is no discomfort here; she is not worried about where you might be. How delightful she is, truly; I would hold her all day if I could.” Jane cooed and smiled as the baby responded, but then, the inevitable cry began and Elizabeth held out her arms.

“Here, let me take her now; she is hungry I expect.”

Jane watched as her sister tended to the infant, not yet two months old, firmly repressing the despair that welled up whenever she watched mother and baby in such happiness; a happiness which for herself she had begun to lose any hope.

“I am surprised you have not arranged for a wet nurse, Lizzy. Surely your friends and neighbours all advise it?”

“Naturally they do, Jane, and they have very helpfully offered the names of several with whom they recently have had success.” She smiled down at the suckling infant. “I know it is unusual behaviour for a woman in my position, and I shall arrange for one in another month or so when my responsibilities demand it, just as I did for Anne, but until then, the opinion of others is no reason why I should hand over care for my children when they are at their most vulnerable, and when it gives me such joy. Darcy has no objections, thank goodness; unlike, I am sure, your sisters-in-law. Without a doubt, they would be scandalised to learn of such a thing going on at Pemberley, even if it is the most natural behaviour in the world. They would be delighted to have their low opinion of me and my questionable breeding confirmed!”

Jane laughed. “Oh! They will never learn of it from me, I assure you! I could not imagine entering into such a conversation with either of them, never mind defending you and your choices. It shall remain your own private matter.”

Elizabeth nodded; she had no fear of the opinion of others, but knew her inclination to satisfy her own preferences was often in conflict with her role as mistress of Pemberley. Such a position dictated discretion beyond her usual level, or the level at which it had been in the past. Now, she found herself considering her words and actions at length before executing them, rather than having to regret them later.

A knock admitted Mrs. Reynolds who carried the morning’s mail on a salver. Seeing her mistress otherwise engaged, she smiled at Jane and offered her the letters.

“Thank you, Mrs. Reynolds,” Jane smiled and quickly checked the letters.

“What are they, Jane? Can you tell?”

Jane showed each one separately as Elizabeth read the addresses, identifying the handwriting on two as from Charlotte Collins and Lydia. She shrugged and indicated that Jane should leave them on the side table. There was nothing there that could not wait a few minutes longer.

“Jane would you be so good as to ring the bell for Nurse?”

Jane pulled the bell and Mrs. Reynolds returned. “Yes, Madam?”

“Would you ask Nurse to come for Lavinia, please. She will need tending now she has been fed.”

Mrs. Reynolds beamed. “I will take her to Nurse myself, Madam; you know I love to hold her whenever I get the chance. Babies are such a blessing and Miss Lavinia is truly the best of those blessings.” She skilfully transferred the child into her own arms, talking softly and wrapping the shawl around her more tightly against the chill of the hallways. “She is such a contented little one, is she not, Madam?”

“Indeed she is. Thank you, Mrs. Reynolds.” The ladies watched as Lavinia was borne away and then Lizzy added, “And I count myself very fortunate that she is so. A fractious child cannot be as easy to love nor manage, I imagine.”

“Oh, surely not! I should not think that is so, Lizzy,” cried Jane. “Any child must be easy to love whatever their temperament. Now, would you like to see your mail, my dear? I confess I am especially anxious to learn what Lydia has to say.”

Elizabeth grimaced as she broke the seal and quickly scanned the contents before the grimace re-appeared. She offered the letter to Jane.

13 Yeoman’s Row

Brompton

London

January 18th 18~

Dear Sisters,

I address this to you both for I am sure Jane remains there, as I know she was to visit at Christmas and I understand the weather has been particularly bad in the North. If she is not, please write and inform her of my news yourself, Lizzy.

The baby has arrived – two days ago, as I write this – and I have never experienced anything in my life so dreadfully unpleasant and painful, and hope never to do so again. I do not know how other woman manage, but I am sure I shall not welcome a repeat of the experience, ever.

It is a boy – I have called him Gerard Charles – it was my choice alone because, of course, Wickham wants nothing to do with him – he has not even asked about him, or me, even though he shares our home and lives off my limited income. All he cares about is himself and his own illnesses, and I have been entirely cut off from any of my friends in my condition, as you might suspect. Even Denny has abandoned me entirely these past long months. I told him he was to be a father as soon as Wickham’s disinterest in the role became evident, even though I said I would not. Perhaps he stays away on purpose; although I had hoped he would have been a little more interested in his own child. Well, that is as it is and there is nothing I can do about it, for now. I have told him and I hope he replies soon. I do so miss his company and kindness to me. So, as you can tell, I suffer all alone at this terrible time.

The child — Gerard; I suppose I must call it by its name — is a persistent crier and a wrinkly, red, ugly little thing; but the midwife has assured me it is because of his newborn state and will improve soon. The sooner the better, for no one can sleep through his squalling. I am extremely tired and cannot deal with his care myself. Thank goodness Mary found me Susan, the nursemaid, before he arrived. It is much better he is taken care of by her and Mary than by me. I have never been interested in such things, as you know, and in my state I struggle to summon even the faintest enthusiasm for him. Perhaps when I am better my interest will increase, but I cannot say that it will.

I hope you are recovered from your own experience, Lizzy, and that your own child is not as difficult as is mine. I think you had another girl? You see how distant I am with even my own family’s news? I expect it is all much more enjoyable when you want it, rather than having it forced upon you, as mine was, and when you live in such luxury. I am sure you have no lack of company or assistance at Pemberley, and with so much space you are not kept awake all night with your child’s crying.

I cannot think of what more to write and so will stop now. I have already written to Kitty and hope to see her soon; she is so close by but I see very little of her, taken up as she is with being a wife and mother herself, and has no time for her sister it seems, even when her company would be a relief. I doubt I shall ever be as content as she; although, I suppose it must greatly depend upon one’s choice of partner and child. Not that a child can be chosen, but I sincerely hope Gerard soon begins to settle and be less of an annoyance than he is at present.

I will try to write to Mamma and Mary tomorrow, and perhaps Aunt Gardiner; although as she is always so strict and unfeeling, perhaps I shall not. Let her find out from one of you. I could not tolerate a visit from any of them at present, but I expect everyone feels the same way after such a dreadful experience.

My love to you and Jane

Lydia

Jane drew breath and handed back the letter. “Oh! She sounds very unhappy, Lizzy, does she not? And we were just discussing how loveable a fractious child may or may not be. It seems here is our answer. Perhaps I will ask Charles if we may go into town soon, so I can visit her. Poor Aunt Gardiner; why does Lydia persist in believing everything our aunt does is unkind or particularly against her? Nothing could be further from the truth, and she would be a source of calm and sensible support and advice for Lydia at this time. But what a surprising choice of name for Lydia, do not you think? Gerard Charles? I would have supposed her to have thought of our father at this time and chosen his name as a remembrance.”

“Lydia does not consider anything beyond her own wishes, as we know very well, Jane. There is no reason to suppose she even considered Father when she chose the name, but, as you say, Gerard is not what I would have expected as her choice. It is sensible; very proper and solid and will benefit him throughout his life, whatever he might make of it. Names are difficult to decide upon at the best of times, never mind when naming a child you never wanted in the first place.”

“Perhaps it has to do with Captain Denny, do you think? Perhaps it is his name.”

“Perhaps it is, Jane, I could not say, but I am glad to hear he is staying away for the time being so the charade between Lydia and Wickham can continue for a while longer. She should consider how difficult staying away must be for him rather than accusing him of desertion. But Wickham’s continued presence will make it difficult for Denny if he is at all inclined to engage with the child. It may mean he will never be able to be a father to little Gerard. You see? The name has a certain ring to it; I am becoming used to it already. I think that for once we must congratulate Lydia on her choice.”

“Will you write to our aunt, Jane? I think she must be told without delay, and it appears we cannot leave it to Lydia. Aunt Gardiner may take her to task as she has done in the past, but as you say, her experience will be invaluable, and she would be hurt to think she had not been told as soon as possible.” Elizabeth yawned and stretched. “I believe I shall rest for a while, Jane, if you do not mind.”

“Of course, my dear. I will write to Mamma as well, just in case, and leave you to your other letters and rest. In a while, then.” Jane smiled as she drew a shawl over her sister who was already beginning to doze, the other letters forgotten, and glided out of the room.

Resolutions is now available for pre-order here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08LP57J74.

Outside my window there is a large, gnarled fig tree, tall and straggly. It is not a pretty tree and tells its story openly and without embarrassment. I would imagine it has been there for decades, perhaps fifty years or more.

This tree is hardy. Lichen-covered and world-wise branches, crooked and straight, tell of the years’ passage. It has withstood many, many human attempts at mastery, and recovered undaunted, regrouped and sent out new limbs in defiance. It stands impervious and self-contained, doing its thing year after year, expecting nothing of anyone.

Each spring the tree unfurls its rough, giant leaves which shelter tiny fig buds, buds so tiny that almost-mature figs come as a surprise beneath the leaves. Twice a year it produces those figs, green and hard turning burnished brown and soft, ripe for the picking and eating, full of the year’s sunshine and rain.

Now, in autumn, the tree is gradually losing those leaves, all brittle and brown, curling upwards as if desperately trying to hold on. But, inevitably, they fall, slowly, in ones and twos until, eventually, every limb will be bare and the ground beneath carpeted inches deep, preparing next year’s nourishment.

But it is not over for the tree.

So said Wellington to his mistress who was about to publish his love letters to her. Publish regardless, then wait for the chips to fall where they may.

And those chips will fall.

In Wellington’s case, he hoped she would be damned for her publications. In my own, I’m hoping for the reverse reaction, but you can never tell.

Can’t please everyone all the time – sage advice I have clung to throughout my writing career. With the first book, I published just because I had finished it and wanted a copy for myself, to see it in print and not just on my computer screen. Imagine my surprise when other people – and not just family and friends – bought it and read it, too.

Then the reviews started coming in. Another surprise framed in horror. People had read my book and now had something to say about it? Fortunately, the early reviews were mainly positive and plentiful, but, even so, I examined each of them for hidden criticism or irony.

Then the first negative review came in – and, of course, there have been several more over the course of five books. Everything from correcting my grammar, to informing me of historical inaccuracies, to just basically saying the books were boring. It’s enough to make a new writer throw in the towel or the laptop. And no matter how many positive reviews outweighed the negative, it’s the negative ones that stick every time. Which is ridiculous because they shouldn’t have more power than the positive ones, they’re individual opinions, after all. And I should be happy readers have taken the time to respond to my writing rather than ignore it – shouldn’t I?

Anyway, now Discretion or Disgrace has been released, I know what to expect when I check in to see what the verdict is – which I won’t be doing for several weeks or months, believe me. I decided quite early on that it’s better to ignore the noise and just get busy with new projects rather than agonize over every reader comment. And, by the way, I’ve accepted that reader opinions and reviews are for the benefit of other readers and not aimed directly, personally, at me, the author. Not always, anyway. A thick skin is a requirement whenever you send your own creation out into the world; otherwise, you are easily bruised.

And now to pre-empt my critics: For those of you who wanted answers or a neat ending I say: I’m working on FIM 4 even as you read this. These characters just keep on keeping on with their lives, but I have to stop somewhere. I can’t say when it will be ready but I hope it will not involve another 3 years before it is. For those of you who wanted more ‘development in the bedroom area’; sorry, you’ve come to the wrong place for that. I leave all that to your, the individual reader’s, imagination, thank you. Once those bedroom doors close, they’re closed for the evening. For those of you who would like ‘a buggy chase, at least’, the only buggy chase that I know of in Jane Austen’s work is in Sense and Sensibility, and that wasn’t really a chase, more youthful exuberance. If it wasn’t a good enough idea for Jane Austen, then it’s not good enough for me, either. And finally, for those of you who complain that ‘nothing really happens’ – um – have you read any Jane Austen?

Right, that’s me for now. I hope most readers will enjoy Discretion or Disgrace. I have done my best to faithfully replicate the lives and loves of the wonderful characters brought to life by our favorite author, and I have felt very fortunate to have been allowed, once again, to intrude into their lives and observe them as they go about their daily business.

Meanwhile, FIM4 is waiting for another chapter, as are several other ideas which I keep adding to. I’ll update as I go. Thanks for reading and have a great day.

[image error] Extract #4 is now available to read here:

[image error] Extract #3 is now available to read here:

Chapter 1 is now available to read here:

Now available HERE also!

[image error] Release Date 26th November 2019. Pre-order copies available NOW HERE or HERE 

I wrote ‘The End’ on this manuscript several months ago (not that it stays on the manuscript, of course – it’s just a pleasure finally to reach the end and write it down!) and have spent the intervening period editing. Many writers agree that editing is the hardest part of writing – going through your work with a fine tooth-comb, making corrections and improvements – and it is, without a doubt. With every review, I see something else that needs tweaking which usually means it takes me much longer to edit than to write; except life got in the way during the writing of this novel which took almost two years to get to ‘The End’: thankfully it didn’t take three times that long to edit.

Now that Felicity in Marriage has reached three books and so is now officially a ‘series’, I decided to take a leaf out of Winston Graham’s book, so to speak, and add a title as well as the FIM Part Three, just as he did with his Poldark series. So I had something else to consider as I niggled away at my draft: what title might hint at the plot-lines. There were many contenders, many I thought would work well, some even made it to the actual book draft and cover but, in the end, Discretion or Disgrace kept re-surfacing as the best choice. It gives enough of a hint without giving too much away.

For those who have not read the first two books, the Felicity in Marriage series starts when Pride and Prejudice finishes – that is after the weddings of Elizabeth and Darcy, and Jane and Bingley – and continues for six months into the following year. Many things happen in that short six months: settling into relationships and new responsibilities, and adjusting to new life circumstances – or not – in the case of Lydia and George Wickham.

Other than the Collins, the Wickhams are the most interesting couple, I believe, created by Austen in Pride and Prejudice because their future is so uncertain and because, of course, ‘bad’ characters are always far more interesting than the ‘good’. Austen allows readers to imagine their own conclusions for them at the end of Pride and Prejudice; the clues are there, it just depends on interpretation. All I had to do was take George and Lydia’s characters and give them the freedom to act as I believe they were destined to. It has been quite revealing.

Now, in Felicity in Marriage Part Three, the story has moved forward four years: Elizabeth and Darcy are happy in their life together with their daughter, Anne, as are Jane and Bingley, although they do not have a family as yet. Kitty is married to a clerk from Mr. Gardiner’s office, has just had a baby and lives in London; Georgiana Darcy has married a gentleman, a Mr. Jardine (who appeared in Wickham’s Wife quite extensively); and Anne de Bourgh is married, against her mother’s wishes, to a businessman named Mr. Sudbury. Apart from a few minor irritations and vexations, life has been pleasant and quiet for the last four years: too quiet, it turns out.

Discretion or Disgrace (Felicity in Marriage Part Three) is set in July and August of the year when suddenly – spectacularly – everything falls apart. Trouble appears and the Bennet family and all those associated with them must support each other if they are ever to regain their peaceful lives.

I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this third installment of Felicity in Marriage with all of its twists and turns, and I hope you will enjoy reading it just as much. For now, I shall leave the characters to their own devices – until the next time I decide to drop in on them and see what they’re up to, that is!

Check back soon to read the Prologue and other excerpts from Discretion or Disgrace. Enjoy!