Jeffrey Chatham's Blog

 "remember how it felt on that first day we met. how extravagant the simplicity of life less defined. how awesome the process of becoming! you helped me weave the tapestry of my life. each thread, each careful placement of color you chose defined my me. and if nothing else i say ever matters more, please know just how magnificent; the measure of your time, invested in the making of this oh-so-simple me! indebted, i am to you, forever... so grateful!"

undeserving

entangled in
my now-
entwined within
my what-will-be,
you...

an anchor fastened to my heart-
essential as even-
air.

what was life before
you-
who drew the line
between indifferent-
and necessary?

was there sunlight-
or did the night - so nonchalant
just close his eyes-
allowing day...

i cherish moments
filled with oh-so-much of you,
grateful-
yet undeserving...

 on passing by rooms of escaped...

(excerpt...

Saturday, February 4, 2017entangled in my now.this past week has proven overly difficult. each day held its own particular obstacles and restrictions to my acquisition of peace. half way through the journey, i truly felt the weekend was merely a mirage. as i spend these few moments peering into your world tonight, i reflect on the complexity of my week and count my blessings that i survived it's struggle.i'm sure there are those of you that can fully understand my perspective.the attached piece is intentional and speaks specifically to a particular reader. one thing i have learned from this experience is to be appropriately cognizant of the implications presented via this platform. at any given time, my opinion - previously shared - can come back to haunt me. perhaps that is the purpose of my writing in the big scheme of things - to keep me grounded.as the saying goes:

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(Excerpt...

life lesson #89 - how to be a dad.

and now the day is nearly done. darkness creeps in - filling up all the empty spaces. i stop for one brief moment to remember the significance of this date. were he still alive, the man responsible for half of my creation would be 89 today. i can't say that i would have spent the day any different if he were here. we never seemed to share that bond between father and son you read about in fairy tales. and while he did do his "job" of "teaching" me things father's do - how to shoot a gun, fish, change the oil in my car - perhaps the greatest lesson i learned from him was how to be a dad. isn't it poignantly fitting that we more often learn how to do something right after seeing it done so wrong; and deciding to learn from the mistake rather than become victim to the same recurring fate?

abandon

i fear
that i will never understand from what authority -
you disallow?

how ludicrous -
the signs you post -
inscribed with such callous - un-intent!

sad,
it must be -
unable to respond -
responsible to guilt -
imprisoned inside a tomb - of should...

and while your hope floats away,
upon a breeze of - nonchalance -
my - could -
remains captive -
bound by chains unseen -
victim to your abrupt,
yet rehearsed,
abandon!

 ...if, by chance, you find yourself recipient of a gem when mining the streams of friendship, by all means value its blessing. it requires so little effort to show appreciation. in a world where shiny trinkets of superficial beauty are definitely more treasured than the substantial and often taken for granted cast-iron commonalities, it's important to understand the difference between value and worth.

we all find ourselves walking along a shore of broken shells. for me, the absence of presumed perfection allows opportunity for acceptance. such comfort in the knowing - a friend, without pretense - beautiful, and just as broken...
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Saturday, February 3, 2018

standing at the threshold of undone...

       {excerpt...

day four of hell on earth - aka: flu 2018.
not one to complain about being sick very often, i have been reduced to a miserable three year old, unable to maintain any semblance of human dignity. i completely understand the cliche' "just shoot me - put me out of my misery"... perhaps the most difficult part has been the confinement. if nothing else, this stint in influenza purgatory has reaffirmed my allegiance to distancing myself from any behavior that even remotely alludes to forced interment in a cell. i am without a doubt living exactly to par with the title of this blog...

however short, this post serves to speak condolence to anyone sharing a similar misfortune. my prayers for your recovery. and for those of you that have dodged the bullet, my sincere congratulations. if you fall into the latter category, please don't sport heirs of conceit. i was one of you just days ago. i too walked around the roost wearing the temporal shield of pride. today i realized the err of my assumption. today i pray for healing. today - i simply pray for comfort in this storm...

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all we require
sometimes,when the world is wrapped in night,we pause - 
breathe deep the comfort of quiet -
think about the could have been - 
the should have been; 
even contemplate the why not. 

it's in those times we find accommodation to the greatest options. 
while possibly camouflaged in shades of speculation, 
we own autonomy over indecision. 

sometimes,when we find ourselves alone,we pause - 
commiserate with our hurt,hold hands with our pain. 
feel justified in wearing our shroud of sorrow.after all,
no one else could ever understand -
this water of fear much too deep,
much too wide -
for anyone to ever swim across; to survive.

sometimes,wrapped up inside our feelings of reluctance, 
we simply cannot see the purpose - 
comprehend the reason for our struggle.
and as we grasp at threads of reason much too weak to hold our trembling hands, 
we feel the battle lost - 
surrender - 
become, 
undone...

sometimes,we pray... 

perhaps that is when we truly find our strength -
rather, 
realize our potential. 
with everything considered necessary - stripped away;fear and anger, pain and sorrow,what we thought mattered and even cherished.when completely emptied of all we desire -
at that moment to find we've been given all we require. 

9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. [2 Corinthians 12:9-10New King James Version (NKJV)]

standing too close to the edge: inasmuch as - God!: " oh – how easily your smile succumbs to my pain – watercolor compassion, left , so conveniently, out in the rain… " (jdc...

 to those that act as if they know. the better-thans. far removed from option of compromise. i have to wonder if at that particular time in their lives when they encounter obstacles of passive resistance, do they understand the reason for/lesson to be learned? i cannot speak to life lived pandering with sensibility. that road much too easily traveled. oh so many sheep. and while even sheep develop admiration for their shepherd, the legions of disengaged fall victim to sargeants of disregard. 

what will you do, now - remanded to the custody of alone? i fear your words will linger only for a moment and be gone. 

all the stone of could have been chiseled ceremoniously into monuments to refrain. 

words you could have said,

scattered by the wind,

lost in the darkness of your bitter discontent...

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from countries of despair

broken,
some would say of themselves.
others,
slightly bent. 

either way - admission of irregularity. and while some may disrespect the autonomy of deviation, their denigration clearly defines the defect of their own design. 
i once shared companion with others lost in the darkness. as hard as we tried, it seemed there was no option of escape. imagine the freedom - stumbling into the light!
tonight - while graciously aware of my blessing - i find myself traveling dangerously close to the shadows. perhaps my journey realigned - not to derail my diligence - delivery from countries of indiscretion,but champion to the disengaged - option of allegiance - soldier of compassion in the battle against the demons of despair...

standing too close to the edge: on finding myself alive...: haven't been here in a while... a lot of things constricting my movement into this stream of (un)consciousness... have missed you and w...

sometimes the words evasive -
sometimes the words painful -
and sometimes,

the words spoken before their time to be heard...

{find below excerpts from disclosures: you already know...}

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Tuesday, July 31, 2018shepherd without a cause.

not all days can be defined by elegant composition.
sometimes - silence speaks more to abandon - than merely the absence of words...

                                  some days, just the gate-keeper to an empty lot...

this piece for you - the abandoned one.
solitary confinement, it seems, in a world of (not always) smiling faces. for the you that wishes to be he, or she, or really any of the they. for just one minute of any given day, to understand feel - as much as the absence of touch.
this piece for you - owner of less than (it seems) enough.
shepherd without cause -
gate-keeper to an empty lot.
how often, in life, do we pass each other on the street -
share paths -
travel in the same direction -
yet unaware the other exists?
today i saw a homeless man and after the initial wave of sadness left, i found myself wondering if just maybe it was his choice? while hard to imagine life devoid of the accoutrements we deem mandatory for contentment, maybe it was his way of avoiding the pain of indifference.
just maybe he chose to be lost -
less painful,
than merely being - forgotten...

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Monday, November 23, 2015helping a friend along the way and other (necessary) distractions...

what a fragile society we have become. bigotry and hate the new fashion. i find my thoughts so often abandoning the train - walking me back through time to a yesterday filled with so much less chaos. had i known then just how intense merely living would be now, i may have chosen a less cumbersome path. i wonder, as i write these words, how they sound when you read them. only knowing one point of view in regards to their inception, i truly cannot speak to their effect. whatever the circumstance you currently find  yourself attached to, please know; this too shall pass! life is such an amazing adventure. nowhere is there an owner's manual nor ironclad warranty. with each of us having the same connection to creation. how can any one of us argue the experience of salvation, other than our own? realizing the enormity of my reality, i constantly remind myself just how different we all are...
after a week of rather maddening attachment to the struggle of a dear friend, i find myself once again alone with my thoughts. alone? is there such a thing? if we truly believe what we profess, then we are never actually alone. i know; another story for another post...
if you haven't thought about it, we just ended week 47 of this year. in 5 weeks we will find ourselves saying goodbye to 2015. well, that is collectively speaking, as some of us may find our last day has already arrived. regardless your situation, your expectation, i pray for you peace.
for my friend that can't seem to catch a break, this post... while you may think yourself so close to defeat that you just want to give up, rest assured... the valor and dignity that you have shown in the midst of your struggle has become your armor. you can't see it now, in the darkness of your night, but there is this most amazing light that shines from you. please don't allow it to dim just because you don't see it. there truly are too many others counting on it to help them find their way...

more than necessary

i enjoy you -as much as great,as deep as sky...
i drink you in,submerge myselfin your smile -lose my way,in the deepness of your eyes!
time stands still,when i'm with you -reality redefined -you speak my name,and worlds collide...
how can i sleep,dare close my eyes and find you gone when waking?this fragile heart would surely breakif suddenly alone,detached...
without  you,i would simply cease to be...
greater than want,you are,so much more than necessary!

questions unanswered.
not so much from lack of comprehension -
perhaps the fear of consequence - assumption of presume...

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Saturday, December 17, 2016for what is your life?

just days away from another Christmas. how quickly time flies. wishing to embrace a moment of time with a friend, i stopped by my favorite resting place - found you here waiting...

comfortable - the familiarity of home - embrace of family - face-time with a friend. and there, juxtaposed between joy and sorrow, the true meaning of why we travel on this journey. regardless the presence of a trusted companion or the absence of - we have no option but to keep moving. perhaps the promise of peace - the desire for completion - pushes us along. for whatever reason, i enjoy the possibility of traveling with you. if, by chance, we find separation before reaching that final destination, please wait for me there. and if, i find myself there before you arrive, rest assured, i will hold the door ajar.
awesome, don't you think, this fascinating experience called life. find comfort in the moment my friend. before you realize, another day will be done. another sun - set...

[James 4:14 (NKJV)]14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. 

the wages of…
can’t take a small nowhere,when somewhere grand – i am!can’t un-know – the knowing,abandon – belief!
if living is dying –and death sets us free,why captive -just – alive?
erroneous,agree?un-contained – we imagine,yet imprisoned (by life)– are we…

 {excerpt...

the life of my already...sometimes we stand off-stage - silent in the shadows. waiting for the applause to quiet. anxious for our moment. what if the words we say contradict our intention? if misunderstood, how can we erase the indiscretion? what if - instead of allowing opportunity for exposure - we chose to exit the auditorium - withdraw our monologue from the arena of consideration?
reluctance affirms behavior of diminished trust. to suppose confrontation with presumed disinterest merely solidifies the sin of assumption. what will it matter - in the end - who disagreed? if what we seek as punctuation for our journey is the commonality of acceptance - then why begin? as one created in the image of such a flawless creator, how can we entertain thoughts of inadequacy? surely the standards implied by a society lacking even a hint of morality serve only to strengthen our purpose - ignite the fire of our intent.
how amazing - this faith. to own license of confidence in the promise of forever. regardless the temporary distraction - hurdles of shouldn't, and couldn't, and can't...


"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." {Psalm 139:14 KJV}
                                                                                                                                                                  ...}


of water-colors and rain
unable to feel – fulfilled.unable to – feel…precariously balanced between what – is,and what could be.clinging to the threads of hope,praying for – recompense!
where did it go – my reason?i held it – oh so tight –but my footing failed,and i slid much too quickly,into unsure – vast sea,unmeasured depth,of doubt…
how rudiment –the concept –what is – is,yet what can be – most often,is not…
my prayer – today;if i’m asleep,this life – a dream –please wake me!for there are things more frighteningthan tigers,and bears…
oh – how easily your smile succumbs to my pain –water-color compassion,left ,so conveniently,out in the rain…

 "remember how it felt on that first day we met. how extravagant the simplicity of life less defined. how awesome the process of becoming! you helped me weave the tapestry of my life. each thread, each careful placement of color you chose defined my me. and if nothing else i say ever matters more, please know just how magnificent; the measure of your time, invested in the making of this oh-so-simple me! indebted, i am to you, forever... so grateful!"

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Sunday, December 1, 2013

channeling Elie Wiesel - to a - friend? Dijiste que era de la familia, al igual que su hermano. Es esta forma de tratar a la familia?

{excerpt...

 ...embracing the passion Elie Wiesel put into his rant on indifference, i wanted to share with you his words and ask that you remain cognizant  to the necessity for authenticity. if you're really not feeling it, please don't say it. emotional scars are sometimes the hardest to heal.


"indifference, after all, is more dangerous than anger and hatred. Anger can at times be creative. One writes a great poem, a great symphony. One does something special for the sake of humanity because one is angry at the injustice that one witnesses. But indifference is never creative. Even hatred at times may elicit a response. You fight it. You denounce it. You disarm it. 
Indifference elicits no response. Indifference is not a response. Indifference is not a beginning; it is an end. And, therefore, indifference is always the friend of the enemy, for it benefits the aggressor -- never his victim, whose pain is magnified when he or she feels forgotten."
(Elie Wiesel: The Perils of Indifference - delivered 12 April 1999, Washington, D.C.)

and of course no post complete without my take... :)thanks for stopping by and please do come again!



to the world
ice is forming -on the windows -now.i hear the whistle of the wind -its song,so sad!
everywhere -in cold secluded -silence.every-thing - capturedwithin grey!
no longer do the birdsin joyful chorus-sing happily their songs.their words lie frozen -broken as the surface of the sky.