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Published on November 01, 2024 17:44

December 8, 2023

How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone Through Text?

Have you ever been friend-zoned? It’s a term from human and relationship psychology that describes the relationship status of an individual. People also call it the “buddy zone” or “non-romantic zone”. This is how the relationship between two individuals who aren’t romantically involved is described.

Typically, only one person ends up in the friend zone. That person might wish to move out of that situation and get romantically involved. If you’ve ever been friend-zoned, you might probably be aware of this situation.

Extricating yourself out of a friend zone isn’t always easy, especially when it comes to texting. Here are a few suggestions that might help you get out of the friend zone:

Be Honest: When you entertain feelings for this person, it’s best to be open about it. You should tell them about your feelings for them but also understand and respect how they feel.

Respect Boundaries: In case they don’t want to romance you, respect their choice. It’s important to honor their boundaries.

Take it Easy: Don’t rush things. Allow the relationship to grow organically over time. Pushing for romance might not be the best move.

Reveal Your Best Side: Be nice, caring, and thoughtful in the texts you send them. Show them you can strive to be their best friend and an awesome partner too.

Give Space: When they want time to figure things out, afford them space. Respect their need for some breathing room to sort out their feelings.

How can you avoid being in a friend zone?

Okay, so here’s the deal. I’ve got to be straight with you, even if it’s not what you want to hear. Sure, I can give you tips on the dos and don’ts of texting, but if you’re not capable of being your own person, no magical text can fix that.

See, tweaking your messages won’t solve the situation you’ve got going on in real life. There’s no quick online solution for an offline issue.

Step one? Figure out why you landed in the friend zone in the first place.

Reasons for being friend-zoned

Hey, here’s the scoop you might not be thrilled about. The only shot you have with her is if her current relationship hits the rocks. In that case, you might be a temporary fix until she finds someone who really lights her fire.

Just being a good friend won’t cut it or fill the void. Being friend-zoned is quite common—we’ve all been there. It’s part of the game. So, the key is figuring out how you landed in the friend zone to begin with, so that you can make your great escape.

#1 You show too much appreciation

Instead of always giving compliments, try throwing in a bit of friendly teasing in your texts. The idea is to keep things playful so that the person you’re interested in feels the need to seek your approval, like a kid looking for attention. The idea is to make them crave and needy for you. We’re not big fans of mind games, but if you’re crushing on a guy, let him take the lead in texting sometimes. It adds a bit of excitement for him.

There’s something about the thrill of the chase that many guys seem to enjoy deep down. And, offering too many compliments will take this away.

#2 You are always the one initiating the conversation

Instead, try calling or texting them fewer times a week. If they’re interested in chatting more frequently, they’ll reach out to you.

Create circumstances for them to text you first and initiate the conversation at least half the time. Many people, regardless of gender, aren’t usually into someone who’s constantly pursuing them.

It’s important to let them take the lead and pursue you a bit. Remember, you don’t have to settle for being friend-zoned—you can avoid it.

#3 You are failing to capitalize on the hero instinct

James Bauer, the relationship guru, came up with this interesting idea that sheds light on how guys see and experience relationships. It’s a concept that often flies under the radar for many women. 

Bauer’s take is that men aren’t too complicated when it comes to what makes them happy in a relationship. All you need to do is make them feel like your hero.

“You are my dear friend”

You’ve been a great pal, a helpful classmate, or a cool colleague. But, you’ve never really shown your interest to be their potential boyfriend or girlfriend. So, it’s no wonder your crush hasn’t caught on to your romantic feelings. That’s a bit of a snag because dropping the L-bomb out of the blue isn’t the best strategy.

Then, there’s the infamous text that tells you that you’re friend-zoned. It might hit you straight up, like, “You’re an awesome friend, but more like a brother.” Or it could be sneakier, with delayed responses to texts and a sudden aversion to dates and calls.

It is this phase where most people become concerned and ask questions about how to get out of the friend zone through texts. The first step? Figure out why she sees you the way she does. Let’s crack that code!

Why is she treating you as a friend?

Some qualities catch the attention of women, like courage, confidence, assertiveness, and sexuality. It’s important for women to feel these qualities in men. Trying to become romantically involved by just being a friend usually doesn’t work.

Maybe you were interested in her, but you didn’t let those feelings develop. Perhaps you hesitated to show your more romantic side when you were around her, and she never considered you as a romantic partner.

Another mistake in texting is bringing up the topic of other friends in the conversation. Instead, maintain the focus on you and your crush. The same goes when you’re hanging out together – if you usually meet at a gathering, consider suggesting an activity just for you both. They’ll likely catch on if they’re interested.

How can you stay out of the friend zone through texting?

Having relationships with others is a huge part of being human. Sometimes, we don’t appreciate them enough. Do you genuinely like hanging out with your crush? Can you still enjoy their company even if it stays platonic forever? It’s important to be true to yourself and this person you’re interested in.

Let’s steer clear of secret agreements and unsaid hopes in friendships. Both of you deserve more honesty rather than hiding your feelings.

1. Hold on to your calls and texts till she makes her interest clear

She might take a bit to reply and may not be fully into the conversation. If you feel that, it’s cool to give her space. If her replies are short and she’s not really chatting or asking about you, maybe it’s a sign to ease off on texting.

If she’s not showing the interest you’re looking for, it might be best to move on. Why spend time on someone who’s not into texting you back?

2. Let them know your feelings

Attempting to escape a friend zone comes with risks, and there’s a chance of losing the friendship of this person as well. Only take this step if you’re comfortable with that possibility. Be upfront about your feelings—don’t keep your emotions hidden. If you have feelings for someone, let them know; honesty is key.

3. Open up your mind to other options

Here’s a reality check: finding a perfect soulmate isn’t a one-size-fits-all deal. Breaking up and forming new relationships are part of life’s journey. People appear and disappear all the time in your life.

It’s natural to make comparisons, but it’s crucial not to get stuck in history. Try to be more sociable and stay open to making new relationships.

When your friend who put you in the friend zone sees you hanging out with someone fantastic and thinks, ‘Oops, how did I let them go?’ The prospects are unlimited.

4. Work on your humor sense

Want to escape being friend-zoned? Humor is your secret weapon. Crack some jokes to shake things up and show them a different side of yours.

Keep your texts light and easy. If you’re unsure whether your crush will catch your joke, hold off. It’s not worth the risk of unintentionally offending them. Stay cool, and you’ll steer clear of the friend zone. The trick is not to stress out too much.

5. Flirt more in your interactions

According to Wikihow, flirty behavior is a great way to steer clear of the friend zone. Instead of using friend-like language, flirt more by expressing your desires more boldly. The desire language is flirtier, so switch up your texting tone.

When texting your crush, let them know how differently you consider them – as someone you could have a romantic relationship with. Don’t hesitate to be a bit more daring, like holding hands or standing close to them. 

However, be ready for the truth that your crush might not consider you in a romantic way. If that’s the case, it’s time to rethink your future together, admit defeat, and move forward.

Think of the worst outcome to prepare yourself. What if your crush laughs at your text messages or shows them to everyone? Will you hide away from the crowd and despair or want to shake off the feeling? Once you’re mentally prepared, be direct and invite her to go out with you.

Keep in mind that success isn’t guaranteed, especially if the girl you’re interested in is feeling insecure or thinks you’re not good enough for her. Make sure she understands your signals by being clear about your intentions.

6. Stop hiding your feelings for her

Keeping your feelings hidden won’t get you where you want to be. You’ve probably amped up the friendship vibe, hoping they’ll suddenly see you differently. You’ve been the ever-reliable friend, the one who’s there through thick and thin. But guess what? That might just steer you straight into that friend zone you’re trying to dodge.

To dodge the friend zone, you’ve got to step up. Let them know where you stand. If you’re into them romantically, don’t dance around it. It’s a sign for you to take a leap, not wait around.

Say it outright—let them know your interest. Ask them to go on a date with you or make a move if the time feels right. Here are a few things you could say:

“I value our friendship a lot, but I’ve wondered if we could be more than just friends.”

“We are so similar. Ever thought about us being more than friends?”

“I’ve started feeling something more towards you, and I’m curious where it could lead.”

But before diving in, understand what they want in their partner. Do you fit their idea of a great match?

7. Keep cool and be honest

Getting out of a friend zone is a process that takes time, so be patient. The key is to always be true to yourself. Trying to make this person enjoy your company or develop romantic feelings for you by putting in too much effort can actually lead to issues between the two of you. Just keep it real and stay true to who you are.

8. Don’t shy away from talking about your relationships

Feel free to chat about your romantic side in your texts with your crush. Just don’t spill the beans about specific dates or feelings developing in your heart for someone else who went on a date with you. That might not exactly boost your chances of getting asked out. But being open about your relationships and love life in a general way? Totally cool.

9. Use text to ask them on a date

If you’re stuck in a friend zone, it might be because you’re playing it safe and not making your feelings clear. Your crush might see you just as a friend because you haven’t shown what kind of connection you’re looking for.

Take a direct approach and invite them on a date to break out of the friend zone or steer clear of it from the start. Plan a fun activity like picnics or bike rides. Be brave and ask them to go out with you, and throw in a bit of flirting to show you would like more than just friendship. Keep in mind, though, that this strategy only works if your crush has similar feelings. If they’re not into it, respect their feelings and forget the whole episode.

Can you break up the friend zone?

Do you fancy the idea of being stuck in the friend zone, where your crush only considers you a buddy? It can be a bit disheartening, but here’s the silver lining – many lasting relationships kick off with a good friendship. It’s common for people to upgrade their “friend” to the position of “lover”.

If you’re itching to escape a friend zone, it’s essential to act swiftly. Love Panky wisely notes, “The longer you’re in a friend zone with a person, the harder it is to escape from it.” Taking a break from your friendship might be necessary, especially with those romantic feelings dominating your thoughts.

However, staying pals with someone you’re head over heels for might become a real challenge, both for you and possibly for them. And whatever you do, don’t profess to be someone’s friend just to get closer romantically – that’s a recipe for disaster. As Habib F, a Quora user, wisely puts it, people are already aware of their likes, and forcing a friendship won’t change that.

So, what’s your next move? Consider seeking advice tailored to your specific situation. A chat with a relationship coach could provide valuable insights into your particular case.

FAQs Is it bad to be friend-zoned?

Chillin' in the friend zone isn't a downgrade—it's more like a VIP pass to a different level of closeness. Romantic stuff can be a rollercoaster, you know? So, being in a friend zone means your vibe is appreciated, and they want you around for the long haul.

 

Just keep that in mind, even if you're secretly hoping for something more. It's cool to want different things, but appreciating the friendship can make the ride smoother.

How can you become the best partner?

Imagine the traits you admire in your romantic partner. Do they adore cats or dogs? Are they loving, caring, and considerate? Maybe they're good at Scrabble? Rather than waiting for someone to have these traits, work on embodying them yourself. It's not about fitting into someone else's "league."

 

Research suggests that spending quality time in the human company can raise your appeal, but it's crucial to have the qualities they value. So, focus on developing those traits—it could make you look more attractive to the right person!

What if we're just not the right match?

It's cool if this person sees you only as a good friend. If it turns out you aren't meant for each other, that's alright. Consider this as a signal to explore other possibilities. Don't lose hope because there are plenty of folks out there who'd be interested in dating you.

 

Just remember, having awesome friendships is important too. Sometimes, it's okay, and maybe even better, to appreciate what we have without pushing for a relationship.

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Published on December 08, 2023 14:59

December 4, 2023

What Happens When A Narcissist Is Exposed

Revealing a narcissist isn’t always a walk in the park. It might feel a bit awkward and harsh, especially when you care about them. However, there might be situations where it becomes necessary.

When you decide to unmask a malignant narcissist, brace yourself for some potential pushback. As you might be aware, narcissists don’t handle perceived rejection very well. They have this belief that they’re superior to all others, and being with them is a stroke of luck for others.

To a narcissist, exposure comes as a surprise and feels like an unjust attack. Despite this, it doesn’t mean you should shy away if it’s something you feel you have to do.

Curious about the repercussions of exposing a narcissist? Let’s dive into how you can go about it and what reactions you might encounter.

How long should you wait to unmask a narcissist?

Understanding when to confront and expose a narcissist is crucial. Since their responses can be quite intense and dramatic, it’s essential to be emotionally prepared for the situation. There are times when you shouldn’t put up with a narcissist’s behavior any longer.

When you are looking for support

It’s pretty common to cover up or play down a narcissist’s actions, especially when you’re worried about what others might think. But hey, everyone deserves compassion and help! 

If you’re aiming to connect with people in a genuine way, it’s crucial to be upfront with them. Consider making your own set of friends instead of relying on mutual ones. And if you’re dealing with Narcissistic Abuse, reach out for support, help, and a path to get out of that tough situation. You don’t have to go through it alone!

When you have decided to move on

If you’ve made the choice to wrap things up with the narcissist, you might find it helpful to let others in on what’s going on.

Remember, how you behave in your private life is your own business. You don’t have to justify your decisions to anyone.

But let’s be real, narcissists aren’t great at handling rejection. When they feel rejected, they might try to change the attitude of others toward you. If that happens, it could be important to stay firm and speak your truth.

When you witness them doing something wrong

If you catch the narcissist acting shady, it’s important not to turn a blind eye. They will do their best to explain away their actions, maybe saying everyone does it or claiming they’re in the clear. They might even throw some insults your way, insisting you’re just being paranoid.

Remember, narcissists tend to believe that rules do not apply to them. They don’t like taking orders and often resist following someone else’s lead. Even when they know their behavior or action is wrong, a narcissist can justify it in their minds, thinking they deserve the rewards.

By keeping quiet, you end up supporting their behavior. In extreme scenarios, you could find yourself facing consequences for their behavior and actions. It’s essential to speak up and not let their sketchy behavior slide.

How can you take the wraps off a narcissist?

Unveiling the narcissist’s true colors can be done in a few ways. Just remember, even if you manage to expose them, don’t expect a thumbs-up from the narcissist—they’re not known for taking feedback well. Success here is more about sharing your viewpoint than getting a high-five from them.

Make sure that you’re sticking to facts and logic

When you want to deal with a narcissist, logic, truth, and facts can be your strongest allies. Even if the narcissist doesn’t acknowledge them, sensible people usually do.

A handy practice is to jot down events as they unfold, staying neutral and objective in your notes. Ensure that this notebook is kept in a safe and secure location. Narcissists often resort to gaslighting, making you doubt your memory or feel like you’re overreacting.

By documenting events at the time of happening, you create a reliable record that can be crucial when it’s time to confront them. Plus, sticking to facts and logic takes the emotional charge out of the conversation. It shifts the focus from your personal experience to the undeniable reality of the situation.

Don’t relax your boundaries

Dealing with narcissists requires setting and sticking to healthy boundaries to avoid falling into their manipulative traps. Let’s break it down in a simple way:

Be Truthful: Don’t be swayed into lying or accepting lies or untruths from a malignant narcissist. Honesty builds a solid foundation for any relationship.No Criticism or Name-Calling: Draw the line at any form of name-calling or unwarranted criticism. You deserve respect, and setting this boundary reinforces that.Financial Independence: Avoid financially supporting the narcissist. This helps you stay in control of your own resources and prevents manipulation through financial means.No Gaslighting Allowed: Refuse to engage with the attempts to manipulate or gaslight you. Hold your ground and stay true to your own perception of reality.

Setting these boundaries not only protects you but also sheds light on the narcissist’s abusive behavior. By standing firm, you assert your self-respect and create a healthier environment for yourself.

What can you do to let others know the true nature of a narcissist?

It’s crucial to think twice before you expose a narcissist since it can be risky business. Before making a move, weigh the pluses and minuses.

As you might be aware, getting a narcissist to alter their ways is like pulling teeth—they thrive on attention, even if it’s negative. So, instead of stirring the pot, the best way to give it back to them is often to simply ignore them.

Trying to expose them might just crank up their aggression. They’ll go all out to gather supporters, leaving you with a heap of frustration. Ignoring them, on the other hand, tends to be a more peaceful path.

What happens when you expose a narcissist in front of their family?

In certain family situations, things can go a few different ways, depending on how the family operates and the patterns the narcissist has set. One common instance is when the family becomes like a support system for a narcissist, brushing off their abusive behavior with cliches like, “That’s just him being him. This’s how he has always been!” Instead of facing the damage caused by their actions, they choose to look the other way, figuring it’s not worth bringing up.

Often, the family is scared of the narcissist’s anger issues, so they go out of their way to keep them happy. It’s a strategy to keep the family balanced, but this also gives the narcissist the upper hand in control and power.

On the flip side, there are cases where the family heaves a sigh of relief when others expose a narcissist. They might have felt resentful and trapped, and there’s a certain satisfaction in seeing the narcissist’s true colors revealed.

No matter the situation, the family members may find it tough to set and enforce boundaries with the narcissist. They’ve likely been stuck in this dysfunctional setup for a long time, and making changes can be seriously uncomfortable.

What to expect when you expose a narcissist in public?

Because narcissists are highly protective of their egos, public exposure, especially if it happens on social media, poses a significant threat. The narcissist may react intensely to the public humiliation of any form.

Narcissists are fixated on being right, and if their confidence and self-assurance feel challenged by something, they go into survival mode. Here are some ways they might react:

Denial: A covert narcissist may flat-out refuse to accept the truth, although it’s glaringly obvious. They’ll come up with alternative truths and theories, even if they’re far-fetched, and may continue to believe and insist that others are dumb or crazy for not having a different perspective.Narcissistic Rage: Explosive reactions are common, ranging from idle threats and physical violence to emotional hostility. The rage may be directed at one person or escalate without bounds, leaving destruction in its wake.Playing the Victim: Narcissists often blame others or external factors for their own behavior. While they might acknowledge wrongdoing, they’ll insist it was necessary or attempt to convince everyone else of fraud, cheating, or some indecent behavior.Avoidance: Some narcissists may totally ignore or escape exposure, behaving as if everything is fine and nothing is wrong. This can make others uncomfortable and may lead them to ignore the narcissist’s behavior, reinforcing the avoidance.Downplaying Feelings: Narcissists may act as if someone exposing them doesn’t bother them. They might say things like, “I didn’t care much about what happened actually” or “No, I’m not at all mad. I’m just a little bit surprised.”

Narcissists often oscillate between reactions like these based on the audience, their relationship with the people close to them, and their mood. While responses can vary, most narcissists exhibit patterns, allowing you to anticipate how they handle difficult and uncomfortable situations over time.

Can you expect forgiveness from the narcissist for exposing them?

Typically, no. Forgiveness is not an innate character of a narcissistic person. And in case they do decide to forgive you, they’ll probably make you work hard for the same. A covert narcissist, when exposed, feels threatened instantly. Instead of admitting that, they jump right in and display anger issues. Sometimes, it’s full-on rage and loathing, known as Narcissistic Rage.

All of a sudden, you’re the villain. You’re the awful one for turning on them. It’s all your fault.

They’ll also lay on the guilt thick. Why are you behaving this way? How could you? Why wreck our family? What will people think of us now? What’s happening with you?

Narcissists have a knack for poking at your insecurities, especially if you are already struggling with low confidence and self-esteem. They’ve put in the effort to learn your weaknesses, just to exploit them whenever it suits them.

If they decide to forgive, they’ll probably make a show of it. Like with dramatic lines such as:

“You’re lucky I’m so forgiving! Anyone else wouldn’t bother.”

“I am sure you didn’t mean it that way, so I’ll let it slide.”

“I work so hard. I’ll forgive you for saying/doing that, but it’s crazy you can’t understand my side.”

These statements often aim to mess with your head, a kind of gaslighting to twist your reality around and compel you to doubt yourself. They want you to feel guilty because you made them feel terrible.

In the end, their goal is crystal clear: they aim to instill a sense of guilt and shame within you that you’d never dream of making the same mistake again.

How will a narcissist react when you confront them?

So, what usually happens after calling out a Narcissist? Well, don’t be surprised if they don’t see it that way at all.

Chances are, they’ll flat-out deny it, calling you a liar. See, a narcissist’s version of reality can be completely twisted so that they genuinely believe wholeheartedly in their own tall tales, even if everyone else thinks they’re totally bonkers.

And watch out, they might decide to hit back by exposing your secrets. Yep, they’ll spill the beans to get sympathy or attention, and they’ll twist the narrative to make it look like you’re the one at fault and to blame. Be on guard for aggressive Narcissists. Also, beware of the likelihood of the Narcissistic Rage they might unleash on you.

Then there’s the victim card—they might admit to messing up, but get ready for a flood of excuses. Instead of owning up to their actions, they’ll shirk the blame and shift it to you faster than you can blink.

Sometimes, they’ll throw out an apology. You might even hear them making big promises about turning over a new leaf. But, spoiler alert, this change is often short-lived. Once they’ve regained control, it’s back to their regular bag of tricks. Watch out for those curveballs!

Why should you focus more on your recovery than on exposing a narcissist?

When you want to expose a covert Narcissist, it often turns into a bit of a tiring showdown. Since narcissists make up rules on their own, they’ll do whatever it takes to come out on top.

Trying to convince others of the narcissist’s behavior can be super frustrating. Sadly, narcissists are pros at making their lies sound legit. They’re smooth talkers and can charm their way into convincing people. Plus, they’re sneaky at digging up dirt on others – they know exactly how to hurt and exploit if someone turns against them.

While dealing with a malignant narcissist, it’s crucial to stick to your truth and stop feeling guilty. Focus on getting rid of the toxicity plaguing your life and maybe rethinking your relationship with them. It might feel like a big move, but it could be the first step towards positive transformation and recovery. It would help if you could believe that you deserve respect and support from the people around you. As the narcissist can’t provide that, it might be time for you to reevaluate their role in your life.

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Published on December 04, 2023 23:40

November 28, 2023

How Do Narcissists Treat Old Supply?

Narcissists thrive on something called “supply” – it’s basically the praise, adoration, and stature that helps in making their world go round. While all of us enjoy feeling special once in a while, a narcissist takes it to the extreme, always on the lookout for a better source of supply like it’s an addiction.

Now, if you’ve been on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse, you might be curious about how narcissists treat old supply and the reasons for the same. Well, here’s the lowdown: it’s less about you and more about the narcissist’s current mental state.

When a narcissist craves supply and believes they can get it from you, they’ll pull out all the stops to reel you back in and trick you into offering the supply that they crave. On the flip side, if they’ve found a shinier, newer, and better source of narcissistic supply, you suddenly mean zilch to them – you’ll either get treated with disrespect or flat-out ignored.

To really get what narcissistic supply does to relationships, we’ve got to dig into what a source of supply really means and how it holds the narcissist in its grip.

What is the meaning of narcissistic supply?

People often see narcissists as sly and sometimes downright mean individuals who prey on others. However, most narcissists aren’t heartless psychopaths; they’re actually filled with emotions such as self-doubt, self-hatred, and insecurity.

To cope with these negative feelings, narcissists crave positive affirmation and validation from those around them—be it their partners, friends, colleagues, or neighbors. This affirmation or validation is what psychologists call “narcissistic supply”. Without it, narcissists can feel pretty desolate and worthless.

But what happens when a narcissist runs out of this source of supply? Well, initially, they might get upset with their old supply sources. In their minds, these folks are expected to trigger feelings of happiness and contentment, and if that’s not happening, the narcissist might get frustrated.

If that doesn’t work, a narcissist will likely start searching for new supply sources —people who aren’t hip to their manipulative ways. And if they still can’t find any source of supply, they might become pretty downcast, withdrawing from a world that fails to accept and appreciate their supposed talents and value.

Types of sources for narcissistic supply

The sources of narcissistic supply can be of two kinds – primary supply and secondary supply.

Primary narcissistic supply

For most folks who aren’t super famous or super well-connected, getting that top-tier recognition, or what we call primary supply, becomes a bit of a challenge. It’s the level of attention and adoration received from folks you’re not really close to – you know, those adoring fans every narcissist has.

So what do narcissists do? They go on the hunt for this kind of supply with things like making moves in their love life, climbing the ladder in their job, or sometimes even getting into some not-so-great stuff. Basically, for narcissists, any kind of attention is good attention, whether it’s positive vibes or even the not-so-nice spotlight of the law. It’s like they say, any publicity is good publicity, right?

Secondary narcissistic supply

The secondary source of supply refers to the people regularly interacting with a narcissist – this can be their friends, neighbors, coworkers, or current partner. These individuals play a vital role in the narcissist’s daily life, providing them with constant praise and adoration. If they fall short in this, they may find themselves in a lopsided narcissistic relationship where constant approval is demanded to avoid the narcissist’s displeasure.

The partner of a narcissist often ponders whether these individuals genuinely care about them – their supply. Over time, both primary as well as secondary sources can become expendable, but does a narcissist ever have genuine feelings toward them?

The truth is that narcissists lack the emotional capability to have genuine feelings for their supply on a personal level. Instead, they view them solely as sources of supply to tap into when needed.

Do narcissists really care about a new supply?

When a narcissist starts a relationship, there’s this initial phase of affection and excitement—like a honeymoon. However, the catch is, that excitement isn’t really about the new partner; it’s more about the narcissists themselves.

So, do narcissists ever feel true love for their brand-new supply? Not really. They love what the person can provide them, mainly as what is known as “supply.” It’s all about how their new supply boosts the narcissist’s feelings.

As time goes on, the thrill fades. The narcissist gets frustrated because their partner can’t keep up the excitement. The thing is, every new supply is going to disappoint the narcissist.

As the thrill of the new supply wanes for the narcissist, they resort to devaluing their partner/supply in a bid to dominate them and extract more of that much-needed supply. But even this strategy eventually falls flat. At that point, there is no choice left for the narcissist but to ditch their partner/supply and scout for a fresh supply.

When narcissists do the discard, they often find new supply swiftly or may have even lined one up before they discard. Abandoning is a bold move that narcissists make when they feel confident about getting more supply. It’s like a strategic move in their quest for that emotional boost they crave.

Ways Narcissists Treat Old Supply

Right after the breakup, especially in a situation of narcissistic discard, a narcissist, most probably, won’t be too bothered about the old supply. They’ve moved on to a new supply and don’t see a need for the old supply anymore.

However, this phase of indifference doesn’t stick around forever, and narcissists treat old supply in various ways later on.

They turn into your enemy number one

You might think that a sudden and nasty breakup means that the narcissist vanishes from your life. Well, that’s wishful thinking. Sadly, it’s not that simple. The narcissist may choose to stick around their old supply, but not in a good way. Instead, they could keep a negative connection, throwing insults and trying to make you feel miserable.

This messed-up relationship is like fuel to the narcissist. They get what they want – your undivided attention and complete domination over you. In case you’ve moved on to someone new, brace yourself. They might try to mess up your new relationship. After all, they want you available for their narcissistic supply needs, and being in a new relationship makes that tricky.

They will come back to you

We all know that narcissists operate on a constant need for attention and validation. It’s like they have an insatiable appetite for narcissistic supply. Even if they’ve shifted to a new partner or haven’t molded their current partner into meeting their demands, they might find themselves circling back to their old supply – which could be you. They reminisce about the familiarity of past relationships, especially when they felt in control and could extract what they needed.

Sometimes, they come back to their old supply, expressing regret for leaving or complaining about their current partner. It’s not because they miss their old supply; it’s because the new supply isn’t fulfilling their needs. They don’t consider the feelings of their old supply; their focus is solely on their own dissatisfaction.

What’s crucial in this scenario is to resist their attempts to reconnect. Politely remind them that the narcissistic relationship wasn’t fulfilling for both parties and that moving on was the best way out. Don’t let their apologies lure you back to them, into their cycle of seeking a narcissistic supply.

This behavior isn’t about missing you; it’s about missing what you provided—a source for their emotional needs. It’s essential to recognize that you deserve a healthy, reciprocal relationship, not one-way emotional manipulation. Setting boundaries and focusing on your own well-being is key when dealing with a narcissist’s attempts to re-enter your life.

How do narcissists discard their old supply for a new supply?

People who have narcissistic traits are known for juggling their supply sources, especially when their supply demands are not met. Imagine this: a person with narcissistic tendencies is having an affair while still being in a relationship or marriage. It’s like they’re trying to have the best of both worlds.

For them, the key is to keep their new romantic interest a secret from their existing partner. They enjoy the excitement of a hidden affair (their main focus) while enjoying the status and respectability that comes from a marriage or a relationship (the bonus).

But here’s the thing – they’re not fully committed to the new relationship. They’re testing the waters, making sure the new supply can provide the same level of attention they’re used to. So, if you notice the person with narcissistic traits coming back to you, it’s likely because their new supply isn’t living up to their expectations.

This deceptive game won’t go on forever. Once they feel secure in their new relationship, they might decide to show off their relationship to the world. They become more and more careless about hiding their interactions with their new supply as if they’re ready to shout about their newfound happiness.

However, if their affair is exposed, be prepared for the classic narcissistic move – they’ll blame you, the previous partner, for not being worthy enough to make your relationship worthwhile. Manipulation of this kind is a classic example of narcissistic behavior.

How do you know that a narcissist is with a new supply?

A narcissist is a pro at juggling their sources of attention. They’re not exactly concerned about your feelings, but they sure want to keep connections open. You can learn from these sneaky signs that the narcissist has moved on to a new supply source. They might not wave a flag announcing it, but here are a few telltale signs to watch out for.

They are over the moon

When narcissists find a new supply, they’re ecstatic about it. They’ll flaunt their new relationship to everyone—they want the world to see how great things are. Plus, this new supply boosts their status and confidence, making them seem super outgoing among friends.

But here’s the twist: when they come back to you, the same outgoing vibe disappears. Suddenly, you’re like a mirror reflecting their past, and they’re not thrilled about it. You remind them of stuff they don’t like about themselves.

You no longer feature in their future plans

Do you remember that time when the same narcissist claimed you were soulmates and promised to make you happy forever? Yeah, that was likely just some love bombing in action – you know, the emotional trickery to prompt you to believe that you are the most special person ever. But here’s the kicker: when they cease to consider you as their source of supply, the lovey-dovey stuff hits the brakes. It’s like the switch flipped off.

All they can see are your flaws

Look, nobody’s flawless, right? We all mess up sometimes but imagine someone reminding you of your flaws and every little goof-up you’ve ever made every single day. That’s the thing with narcissists – they’ll keep picking at your faults nonstop until they spot a new supply to latch onto. Only then will they consider breaking away from the narcissistic relationship.

They try to improve their appearance

When a narcissist finds a new supply, they often ramp up their effort on their appearance. Normally, when you alone are seeing them, they might slack off – skipping workouts, neglecting to groom, you name it. But if suddenly they’re splurging on new clothes, changing their hair, or hitting the gym, chances are there’s a new supply in their life. It’s like they’re putting on a show to impress someone new, while they might not have cared much when it was just you seeing them daily.

Does a narcissist compare supplies?

Narcissists have a unique way of approaching their supply sources —it’s less like comparing options on a menu and more like evaluating what they need at the moment. It’s a bit like choosing between different dishes based on their current cravings.

At times, a narcissist might seek a new conquest for a boost in their self-esteem, while in other instances, they could be after the praise and comforting reassurances from a close relationship. The evaluation process involves figuring out the kind of narcissistic supply they require at a given moment and whether the potential source can provide it.

However, in the grand scheme, narcissists tend to lean towards new supply rather than sticking with the old supply. The novelty factor makes it feel more special, and not being acquainted adds an exciting edge to the relationship. Moreover, the new source is often unaware of the narcissist’s manipulative tactics, making them easier to dominate and control in the eyes of the narcissist. It’s like they’re drawn to the allure of the unknown.

When a narcissist leaves you for a new supply, let them go

Going through a breakup where your partner seems unfazed can be incredibly tough. It leaves you feeling undervalued, and the pain lingers, making it hard to move on. But here’s a silver lining: when a narcissist breezes through a breakup, it’s often because they’ve found a new relationship to focus on.

While the clean break might hurt initially, it’s actually in your favor. The narcissist’s attention is now fixated on their new relationship, offering you a chance to distance yourself and escape from the narcissistic abuse. Take advantage of this period to create some space and start the healing process.

It’s a common pattern for narcissists to go back to their former supply. They often do it with a charm offensive, making it tempting to welcome them back wholeheartedly. However, it’s crucial to recognize that their return is not a sign of personal growth. It’s merely a quest for the familiar supply they once received from you.

To break free from the cycle of narcissistic abuse, resist the allure of their return. If you want a life free of drama and a healthy relationship, saying no to the narcissist and refusing to give that supply is the key. It might not be easy, but it’s a crucial step toward your own well-being.

FAQs How do narcissists treat their old supply?

Narcissists often devalue and discard their old supply once they have found someone new to fulfill their need for admiration and attention.

What triggers a narcissist to find a new source of supply?

A narcissist may seek a new source of narcissistic supply when they feel their current supply is no longer meeting their needs or when they are in the process of a breakup with their current source.

What are the types of narcissistic supply a narcissist seeks?

Narcissists seek various forms of narcissistic supply, including admiration, attention, validation, and praise to make them feel superior and important.

How do narcissists obtain their supply?

Narcissists obtain their supply by manipulating and exploiting others to meet their emotional and psychological needs, often through controlling and abusive behavior.

What happens when a narcissist loses their main source of supply?

When a narcissist loses their primary source of supply, they may urgently seek a new source to ensure they do not experience a shortage of the admiration and attention they crave.

What is the supply cycle in the context of narcissistic abuse?

The supply cycle in narcissistic abuse refers to the repetitive pattern of idealization, devaluation, discard, and hoovering that narcissists subject their victims to to maintain control and power.

How do narcissists treat their old supply when they have a new person in their life?

When a narcissist has found a new source of supply, they often disregard and mistreat their old supply, showing little to no concern for the impact on the individual they once idealized.

What are the red flags that indicate a narcissist is seeking a new source of supply?

Red flags that indicate a narcissist is seeking a new source of supply include increased detachment, a sudden focus on an individual outside the current relationship, and minimizing or dismissing the importance of their current supply.

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Published on November 28, 2023 14:29

November 24, 2023

How To Respond To A Dry Text?

Dealing with dry texts is often a bit confusing and frustrating. It’s like, “What’s going on here?” You are likely to feel a bit annoyed, thinking, “Why aren’t we having a more meaningful conversation?” You might even wonder if you did something to upset the other person.

No matter what’s happening, it’s key to handle dry texts the right way. You may want to figure out what’s up, but you don’t want to spend more time and effort than needed. Let’s dive into things that you should keep in mind.

Table of Contents What is the best reply to a dry text?

Engaging in a text conversation can be a bit puzzling when you start getting short one-word replies, unpredictable responses, or even total silence. But don’t worry, there are various reasons why this might be happening.

Before we explore those reasons, here are a few helpful tips on how to handle such situations and keep the conversation going:

1. Ask specific and pertinent questions

What do you enjoy doing in your free time? How was your day? What were today’s highlights? What type of music puts a smile on your face?

One-word replies like “ok”, “lol”, or “haha” won’t quite cover these questions! If someone seems like they’re not saying much because they’re shy or anxious, asking these kinds of questions that draw them out of their shell and force them to give you longer replies might help them feel more comfortable and share more.

2. Take the flirty approach

I’m really thinking about you a lot at the moment, and I miss our time together. It would be nice to have you here with me tonight.

Sending a flirty message is a fun way to let someone know you’re inclined to chat. If they’re interested in you, they’ll likely reply with excitement. On the other hand, if they don’t, it might be an indication that they’re not as into you as you thought they are. In that case, it could be a good time to consider moving on.

3. Stick to topics of their interest

In addition to asking penetrating questions, it’s a good idea to chat about subjects that really matter to the person you are trying to connect with. What interests them the most? What’s something they could talk about endlessly?

Of course, the conversation shouldn’t be all about one person. You should share your thoughts too! However, if the person you are having a conversation with seems a bit uneasy, sticking to topics that they are at ease discussing can help ease the tension.

4. Ask if everything is okay

If you notice a sudden change in someone’s texting habits, especially if you’re usually close, it’s considerate to ask if everything is okay. This demonstrates your awareness of their emotions and your genuine concern for their well-being.

You might try something like, “I’ve noticed you being a bit distant and distracted. Is everything alright?” Alternatively, you could express, “I’m sure this was not intentional, but it feels like there’s a bit of distance between us. Is something the matter?”

If they value your relationship, they’re likely to provide a sincere explanation for the shift. However, if they become evasive or dismissive, it might be a signal to pay attention and address potential concerns.

5. Recollect a happy experience or memory

To spark a more engaging chat, bring up a shared memory or something unique about your connection.

For instance, you could say something like, “You wouldn’t believe who I bumped into today. I met (mutual friend) today. They were asking about you. Do you recall that exciting trip we all had together? Those moments are always the best. Miss having those times with you!”

6. Try to connect with them in person or over the phone

Choosing another way of communicating is a great approach to dealing with dry texting. Perhaps they’re feeling a bit bored of typing and sending text messages, or your text conversations have become too routine.

If they’re excited about the idea of spending some time with you or talking over the phone, probably they are just looking for a change. On the other hand, if they come up with excuses or decline your suggestion, there might be something else going on.

7. Appreciate them

Was just thinking about you—you’re truly amazing!

You bring so much joy, and I want to let you know. Seriously, you’re incredibly beautiful and smart, and I feel like the luckiest person alive.

When you are unsure of where you stand with a person, you can strengthen your connection with genuine compliments. If, even after a sincere compliment, they continue with dry texts as replies, it might be a sign that they’re unlikely to change their texting style. How you would like to proceed is entirely your choice.

Is responding to a dry texter necessary?

You should figure out your reply based on the context. If it’s someone important to you like a partner or close friend, having an honest talk about the circumstances is crucial.

In most situations, expressing how you feel to those you care about is essential to avoid letting any frustration build up.

However, if it’s someone you recently met and you’re still getting to know them, and they consistently text back with dry texts, it might be wise to rethink things. New relationships are usually full of excitement, so if you’re facing constant resistance early on, it could signal that things might not be as genuine as they seem.

Should you reply with dry texts?

While it might be tempting, try not to reply with dry texts yourself. Reacting this way usually just keeps the cycle going and can come off as immature, indicating that you’ll treat others shabbily if they do the same to you.

Instead, strive to be more mature in the situation. Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. Even if you’re feeling frustrated, taking the high road will ultimately leave you feeling better at the end of the day.

Reasons why someone sends a dry text message

People might have different reasons for sending dry texts, and they may not mean any harm with that. The key question is: is this a one-off thing, or does it keep happening?

If it’s a pattern, it probably connects to either your relationship or their personality, and it’s unlikely to shift unless they want to make a change themselves.

1. Pay attention to your real-life conversations

Do they chat a lot when you’re together in person? Do you sense a connection and have meaningful talks? If face-to-face interactions are lively, that’s a good sign. They might just not be comfortable with texting or prefer other ways of communicating.

However, if you haven’t met face-to-face, or if they’re reserved and distant in person, their dry texting style might be reflective of their overall communication style. In simple terms, they might not give much attention regardless of the mode of communication.

2. Check whether this is happening often or not

People might resort to dry texting when they’re feeling down, having a tough day, super busy, or dealing with some other stress. So, review your texting records. Is this a one-time thing, or is it a recurring pattern?

If it’s a regular occurrence, chances are it might not change. However, if you think it’s not tied to an internal problem, it’s okay to ask them directly.

3. The topic isn’t comfortable

People might send dry text messages because they are upset, anxious, or uncomfortable discussing a particular topic. It’s like their way of indirectly steering the conversation away from that subject.

Pay attention to whether their texting pattern changes when you switch topics. If they suddenly become more engaged or enthusiastic, it’s likely that their dry texting was related to that specific subject and not something about you.

4. They haven’t yet made up their mind

Some folks resort to dry texting when they’re exploring their options. They could be chatting with multiple people to figure out what they truly want.

Take a moment to think if you’re comfortable being part of this trial phase. It’s fine if you’re also exploring your options. However, if you’re seeking something more serious, you deserve a partner who can focus on you entirely.

5. They are no longer interested in you

The deal is pretty simple: no matter how you slice it, shooting off a text message, even a short one, is super easy. It usually takes barely a minute for that. Even with our crazy schedules, we somehow manage to find time for social media, coffee, TV, or just chilling.

So, if this person keeps hitting you with dry text messages, it likely means you’re not high up on their priority list. If they truly cared, they’d appreciate staying connected with you.

Should you treat dry texting as a wake-up call?

While dry texting isn’t necessarily a warning sign, it’s worth considering if it becomes problematic. Find the answers to these questions to figure out if it might be an issue:

Am I consistently taking more initiative in our interactions?Does it seem as if this person communicates better with others than with me?Do I sense the unfamiliarity in our conversation?Do I often worry about annoying or upsetting this person?Am I always the one reaching out or checking in?Do I find our texting practice annoying?

If you find yourself saying yes to multiple questions, it may be an indication of dry texting creating trouble in your relationship. You have the choice to either maintain the status quo (and keep feeling frustrated) or consider improving the situation.

What can you do to get a dry texter to open up?

Texting that lacks enthusiasm doesn’t necessarily spell doom for your relationship, but it’s good to take a proactive approach when addressing the issue. Keep in mind that some folks may resort to dry texting when they’re feeling shy or nervous, so it’s helpful to show some faith in them and take it easy initially.

Here are a few steps for you to consider:

1. Keep your questions open-ended

You might not notice it, but you could unintentionally be a dry texter. Even if that’s not the case, the way you text might make it tough for others to share about themselves.

Try sending messages that are focused on the recipient. How was your day at work? How’s your mom doing after your morning together? Did you watch any movie and did you like it?

These kinds of open-ended questions offer them the space and opportunity to focus on themselves, which might prompt them to be more forthcoming in your conversations.

2. Take a step back

Consider whether you are coming on too strong in the text messages you’re sending them. Review your recent messages. Are you sending multiple texts in a row or writing long messages with lots of complex questions?

If you are, these actions might feel intrusive or overwhelming to the other person. Try to send fewer texts and see how it goes. This change could make the recipient more conscious of their role in the conversation.

3. Tell them how you feel

You can express your feelings by saying something like, “I’ve noticed that the texts I send are often lengthy, but I get minimal responses. It makes me feel a bit uneasy about our relationship. Are you aware of this?”

Pay attention to their response. If they are dismissive or defensive, it might indicate deeper issues. On the other hand, if they express regret and acknowledge their behavior, try to understand their perspective. They might not have realized or could have sensed a need to step back.

Ideally, a caring person will have respect for your feelings and be ready to work together to find a way out, even though they will not become as active in texting as you. The key is a willingness to make an effort to meet each other halfway.

The Bottom Line

If you are coming up against dry texts in your relationship, don’t brush it aside and wish it away. It’s foolish to hope that it will get better by itself. Dry texters may not change their ways unless addressed. Ignoring it could leave you feeling constantly frustrated.

Take a proactive approach by addressing the issue, expressing your wishes, and reassessing the relationship if necessary. You deserve a partner who is enthusiastic and engaged in conversations with you!

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Published on November 24, 2023 08:40

November 15, 2023

What Happens When You Reject A Narcissist?

Ever wondered about the consequences of turning down a narcissist? Don’t be fooled into thinking that a narcissist’s ego is indestructible. Despite their exterior, rejection is like a kryptonite to them. Though a narcissist will never admit it outright, rejection is a source of fear, dread, and intense dislike for them.

Let’s face it – nobody enjoys feeling rejected. It’s a tough and sensitive experience that can stir up deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. However, for narcissists, even the smallest rejection can feel like the ultimate betrayal.

Curious about what unfolds when you decide to ignore and reject a narcissist? Let’s explore the dynamics of that scenario.

Does a narcissist find rejection hurtful?

The short answer is “yes”.

If you go for a more detailed and nuanced explanation, rejection affects narcissists in ways that they usually keep hidden. 

Wondering how a narcissist handle rejection? Well, they tend to stick to their usual reactions, like getting angry, becoming defensive, denying the situation, and projecting blame onto others. Essentially, they turn mean and vindictive instead of trying to grasp the reasons behind the rejection. 

This underscores the importance of grasping the intricate contradictions of narcissism. These individuals are undeniably self-centered, seeing themselves as superior to others. Narcissists operate under the belief that they have the right to have anything they desire and don’t have to follow the rules.

How well does a narcissist handle rejection?

This might get you thinking, “It is as if they thrive on all the negativity! Do they even care if people dislike them?”

We’re familiar with how much a narcissist enjoys a good argument and a chance to prove their point. It’s no secret that often they come off as if they don’t give a second thought to other people.

But let’s consider this behavior as a kind of shield. Sure, narcissists love attention and admiration, but being narcissists, they can’t stand the idea of feeling belittled, criticized, or controlled. That intense reaction you often see is their way of protecting their ego—they just can’t tolerate someone attacking it.

Even that seemingly cool and nonchalant attitude is often just a front. It’s a last-ditch attempt to pretend that all the negativity isn’t affecting them. Behind that facade, there’s a good possibility narcissists are wrestling with inner struggles and secretly plotting the next move to seek revenge.

Does a narcissist handle rejection well?

When their self-esteem feels threatened, people tend to go into defense mode. In the world of narcissism, this defensive attitude is known as Narcissistic Injury, where any real or perceived threat to their grandiose self-image (often referred to as the Pseudo Self) triggers a response.

Narcissists don’t just stop at feeling injured; they often follow up with what’s known as Narcissistic Rage. Interestingly, this rage isn’t a stress response but rather a response to perceived slights, insults, criticisms, or disagreements — all seen by the narcissist as gestures of rejection.

Dealing with Narcissistic Injury may lead individuals with narcissistic traits to act out aggressively. This aggressive behavior, termed Narcissistic Rage, can sometimes escalate to violence and assault. The rage that surfaces in response to blame and criticism may be directed outward at others or turned inward toward the self.

A narcissist has diverse ways of responding to such situations, but almost every reaction involves abuse or manipulation in some form or the other. Let’s explore five ways in which rejection is handled by narcissists.

1. Gaslight 

“I never thought we were getting serious either; it was just about having a wonderful time.”

“Wait, hold up! I didn’t say that. How could you even think I’d accuse you of anything like that?”

“Honestly, I’m cool with whatever we usually do. It’s just that I thought that’s what you were into.”

Ever heard of gaslighting? It’s when someone tries to mess with your head and make you doubt and question your reality. They might play down things, tell lies, or twist stories. Sometimes, it’s super obvious, but some folks are sneaky about it.

Gaslighting is typically the go-to move for a narcissist. They whip it out when they’re feeling awkward, humiliated, or caught by surprise.

Imagine this: a narcissist experiences rejection, so they pull out the gaslighting card. Suddenly, they act like they don’t give a darn about being rejected, or they insist you’re making a big deal out of nothing. Narcissists might even straight-up deny doing anything to cause the rejection. It’s wild, right?

2. Defame

“Seems like she’s done trying in our relationship, and it’s a bit disheartening.”

“I’ve noticed he’s been hitting the bottle more often lately. Maybe I should’ve mentioned it earlier, you know?”

“My gut says she might have been unfaithful to me, and it’s tearing me apart.”

You know, some folks with narcissistic tendencies might go on a smear campaign when they feel rejected, whether real or imagined. Narcissists may try to paint themselves as the victims, often by making up stories about you and your behavior.

These narcissists aren’t just content discrediting you in front of family or friends; they might go the extra mile to tarnish your reputation at the workplace, in court, in society, and with your future partners.

This whole smearing thing is basically revenge. When narcissists sense rejection, they feel exposed and embarrassed. So, to deal with those tough emotions, they resort to what feels familiar: lash out and cause pain to others. Tough stuff, huh?

3. Insincere apologies

“Sorry for that. Won’t let it happen again!”

“Oops, my bad. Can I get a do-over?”

“Sorry if you’re taking it hard.”

Ever noticed how these apologies sound? That’s because they’re what you’d call fake apologies. They’re missing that genuine sense of owning up to things. 

You see, folks with a touch of narcissism? They lack empathy and sensitivity. Narcissists are not too bothered about whether their moves might sting or go way overboard. It’s all about what suits them best, and the ‘sorry’ bit is just a quick fix to get back in the driver’s seat.

4. Abrupt breakup

When faced with rejection, some narcissists choose to completely cut ties. Instead of taking time for self-reflection, they dive headfirst into another relationship, showcasing their seemingly vibrant new life on the internet and social media platforms. With this move, narcissists are trying to portray a swift rebound, attempting to evoke jealousy and convincing themselves you’re not important to them and they don’t need you.

However, don’t be fooled by the facade; this display of moving forward is often a charade. Behind the scenes, a narcissist may still be grappling with unresolved emotions. Their abrupt silence and avoidance are, in a twisted way, a way to punish you. 

By shutting you out, narcissists believe they’re causing you distress. Strangely enough, this might be a somewhat positive outcome, making it easier for you to cut ties.

5. Generous and accommodating

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I finally gathered the courage to put forth the big question: Will you be my partner in life and love?”

“Yeah, you’re right. Our current place isn’t cutting it. Let’s house hunt this weekend and find a better spot.”

“I’ve decided to go in for therapy. Would you be up for joining me in the first appointment?”

Some folks with a bit of a self-centered streak might respond to rejection with full disclosure of their flaws and mistakes. It’s a tactic to make amends and yield to your wishes.

Sure, it sounds promising at first. You may want to think that a narcissist can change, and when they genuinely try to do better things, optimism kicks in.

But here’s the catch: their changes aren’t coming from a place of goodwill. It’s not to make you happy; it’s about maintaining the current state of affairs. Narcissists are savvy – they’re aware of your weakness and know fully well ways to charm and delight you.

So, if they suddenly start making grandiose promises about your future together, be cautious. Desperation might be at play. Sometimes, a tiny part of their mind may want to transform, but personality disorders are pretty stubborn and inflexible.

Sadly, giving them one more chance usually leads to more letdowns. You’ll likely end up frustrated and embittered when they don’t follow through, and there’s that pang of embarrassment for having believed them to begin with.

How will a narcissist react when faced with sexual rejection?

In matters about sex, narcissists can have some pretty extreme attitudes. There are two main types: the hyperactive narcissists (somatic), and the hypoactive narcissists (cerebral).

The hyperactive ones, whether they’re guys super-focused on sculpting their bodies or gals going for numerous plastic surgeries, rely heavily on their outside appearance and try to charm and win others over. On the flip side, hypoactive narcissists are all about attracting others with their smarts and personalities. They might flaunt their impressive accolades or successful businesses to capture someone’s attention.

But here’s the twist – while they may excel at attracting people, some narcissists consider sex as demoralizing or sometimes even below them. It’s like they judge folks for getting all impulsive or primitive. So, if they turn down your advances, they might flip it around, insisting that they didn’t want sex to begin with.

And if a narcissist does initiate sex, it’s not about building intimacy with you. Nope, it’s usually all about enhancing their own pleasure. You, for that moment, become the ticket to their pleasure town. If they’re out to attract a new narcissistic supply, they might consider sex as a “win”, like they’ve accomplished a mission.

But wait, there’s more. For some narcissists, sex is also a power play. Seduction becomes a tool for manipulation and control, explaining why they’re drawn to chasing potential partners or diving into extramarital affairs. It’s like sex becomes this enticing game, helping them prove that they’re worthy and superior to others. Wild, huh?

Does a narcissist handle rejection well in intimate situations? Not too great, unfortunately. They might resort to a variety of harmful behaviors, such as:

Accusing their partner of being uptight, selfish, or unkind.Minimizing or outright denying their interest in intimacy.Refusing sex as a way to punish their partner.Being unfaithful to their partner.Blaming the partner for relationship issues.Guilt-tripping the partner by expressing feelings of rejection or abandonment.Ignoring the partner for extended periods.Threatening to use damaging information against their partner.Resorting to physical force and committing sexual assault.

It’s important to recognize and address these behaviors in any relationship.

What can you expect when you reject a narcissist?

It’s natural for the narcissist in your life to feel like they deserve special treatment. From the perspective provided by their inflated ego, it’s all about others adapting to their needs and even giving in to their whims. On top of that, they crave constant adoration and validation. Even though they might seem super confident, their egotistic minds are surprisingly fragile. So, if anything or anyone threatens their needs, they automatically assume they’re getting the boot.

When faced with rejection, narcissistic rage becomes their go-to reaction. This rage isn’t your run-of-the-mill anger – it’s a full-on explosion involving extreme rage, paranoia, avoidance, and passive-aggressiveness. It’s all about narcissistic injury, where the narcissist feels insecure, challenged, or ridiculed. It’s like their ego hits a nerve, and the fireworks start.

What should you do after rebuffing a narcissist?

You’ve been really resilient through the tough times, navigating the heartache and pain caused by narcissistic abuse. It’s commendable how you’re working hard to move forward and heal. But here’s the thing – these individuals just won’t let up. They’re persistent in trying to draw you back to the relationship.

So, what goes down when you turn down a narcissist’s attempts to reconnect?

Initially, they try to ramp up their efforts. If they used to call you weekly once, brace yourself for multiple calls in a single week. Maybe they sent flowers before? Well, next month, you might find flowers accompanied by a box of chocolates.

Their strategy, known as hoovering, aims to make you believe that rejecting them was a mistake. It’s crucial to recognize that every hoovering move is a ploy to get you back. So, in the future, if you start thinking they’re sincere, remind yourself that their goal is to make you doubt your decision to leave. They would like you to believe that things will not be the same this time around.

Remember, if you respond to their tactics, you’re giving them what they want – attention. For most narcissists, there isn’t any difference between wanted and unwanted attention. It’s a bit like dealing with a toddler; they’ll take whatever they can find.

Will the No-Contact rule work when rejecting a narcissist?

For someone with narcissistic personality disorder, getting rejected can feel like the biggest betrayal ever, and the idea of going no-contact can seem strange and unimaginable. When you decide to pause or end the relationship with a narcissist, it’s a way of distancing yourself from their harmful behavior.

This can be quite unsettling for the narcissist because, in their view, they think you should consider yourself lucky to be with them. They struggle to comprehend why you want to walk away from the relationship.

Related: What Happens When A Narcissist Is Exposed

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Published on November 15, 2023 14:23

November 10, 2023

My Husband Looks At Other Females On Instagram [7 Reasons]

Caught your husband looking at other women on Instagram? It’s a common issue.

Feeling disrespected? Maybe he follows and comments on pics that don’t look like you. Whether innocent or an addiction, it’s hurtful. But there’s a solution. If you’re tired of asking why, keep reading for insights on reasons why your husband looks at other women online and how best you can deal with it.

Why does your husband look at other females on Instagram?

There could be several reasons why your husband looks at other women on Instagram. It could be harmless admiration, insecurity, boredom, or even seeking validation.

It could be innocent, like getting gift ideas or making your love life more exciting. It’s normal for men to be stimulated visually and might just appreciate attractive women.

However, it could also be a sign of a more serious issue, like an addiction to explicit content. Similarly, if your husband is still into you, they might drop hints like staying active on your social media or bringing up shared memories through mutual friends. Keep an eye out for these signs!

1. He’s exploring

Your partner scrolling through women’s profiles on Instagram might not be as suspicious as it seems. Maybe he’s just trying to add some excitement to your relationship by checking out lingerie, clothing, and makeup for thoughtful surprises.

Maybe he’s getting inspiration for a special gift on your birthday or anniversary, opting for a more personalized approach than seeking advice from family or friends.

2. He may be looking for visual stimulation

Imagine this: you’re out enjoying a fantastic evening out with your partner. Everything seems perfect until the arrival of a beautiful woman and you realize your partner’s attention has shifted to her.

His gaze fixates on her, and you can’t help but feel a surge of negative emotions – insecurity, jealousy, and anger. To make things worse, she’s completely different from you – larger breasts, slender physique, blonde hair while you have the opposite features.

Now, you’re left questioning if your partner is attracted to other women and if his attraction to you has waned.

Why is he behaving like this?

Men appreciate the beauty of attractive women, even if they’re happily committed. It’s not about being unfaithful; it’s just a common trait. Your partner may be head over heels for you, and his occasional glance at an attractive woman doesn’t change that.

If your husband still is in love with you, they’ll let you know —they’ll remain connected to you on social media platforms, make inquiries about you with mutual friends, or talk about the good times together.

When your guy checks out an appealing woman online, it’s the same as if he is doing this in person. It’s in his nature to appreciate attractiveness. And research suggests men spend billions yearly on visual stimuli, while women aren’t as inclined to splurge for the same. Why this is so is anybody’s guess.

3. He’s addicted to ogling at attractive women

According to a Harvard University study, men’s brains react similarly to the faces of beautiful women and cocaine. Yes, this is true!  An attractive woman has a comparable impact on a man as drugs—both essentially make them feel high. Just like drug addicts chasing a higher high, your man might be constantly scrolling through Instagram in search of that beauty boost.

If you observe the kind of women he’s checking out online, it’s not your everyday, plain, dowdy, or nerdy type of woman. Nope, he’s eyeing young, nubile, and scantily clad women. He’s always on the lookout for women with specific appearances that can fuel his desires.

There’s a possibility he’s dealing with porn addiction too. Even though Instagram isn’t a site for porn, many adult movie stars have profiles there. When he’s attracted to specific women in adult films, he may be interested in knowing them better. What better way to gather this information than by checking their profiles on Instagram?

4. It’s a temporary distraction

Brief glances at attractive people are normal and usually last a few seconds. Your significant other might not even remember it later.

However, if you notice a pattern of them consistently ogling a specific person, it’s worth discussing. A quick glance is okay, but if it turns into repeated, creepy stares, it’s time for a conversation.

5. He has the habit of objectifying women

Living in our imperfect world, it’s essential to acknowledge uncomfortable truths that can shape our decisions. Studies suggest that both men and women might sometimes glance at others with an objectifying lens, reducing individuals to mere sexual body parts.

It’s crucial to understand that such behavior doesn’t define a person’s overall view of women, and it certainly doesn’t justify inappropriate staring. Some argue that this momentary objectification may have biological roots in the male psyche.

What’s disheartening, though, is that objectification tends to be directed exclusively at women. Men may do it as a biological response to seek potential mates, while women might engage in objectification for comparative reasons. Let’s strive for a more respectful perspective and break free from these limiting patterns.

6. He may be searching for new love

Uh-oh, not so great news for you on the relationship front. If your partner seems to be eyeing someone else, experts call it the ‘overlap’ phase. It’s like they’re window-shopping for a new relationship but haven’t quite committed yet.

If your husband still has a soft spot for you, they’ll drop some hints. They’ll continue to connect with you on social media, asking about you with mutual pals, or reminiscing about the good old times. Even if they haven’t actually met this new person, they’re probably deep into scrolling through their Instagram, just biding their time to make a move.

It’s like the real-life attraction scenario – they know what they want, but they’re biding their time for the perfect moment to dive in.

7. He has already been unfaithful to you

Is your partner acting distant lately, even when you’re alone? It might be a sign that he’s seeking fulfillment elsewhere, possibly through online affairs.

Nowadays, it’s common for men to go online to find new connections, even trying out online affairs before ending their current relationships. The anonymity of the internet allows them to hide behind fake names and photos, creating a whole new identity to avoid detection.

Online affairs have become popular among men because of the convenience they offer. With hundreds of profiles to choose from, they can take their time to seek the kind of relationship they want without the traditional hassles. It’s a time-saving and cost-effective way for them to explore new connections.

Should you worry when your husband looks at other females online?

Hey, it’s totally cool for guys to check out other women on Instagram, no biggie. But if you notice it’s messing with your bedroom vibes, he’s splurging on these ladies, or you’ve got a hunch he’s up to something fishy, that’s when you might want to hit the worry button.

Wondering why? Here are 3 red flags for you to notice when your hubby’s eyeing other women on the internet.

It’s impacting your love life: Do you feel as if he’s whetting his sexual appetite somewhere else? Late nights in his study, work excuses, and a lack of intimacy could signal a preference for porn over connection. Curious about your husband’s feelings? Watch for social media hints, questions from friends, or nostalgic mentions. If bedtime excuses and solo study sessions are adding up, it’s time for a candid conversation.He’s shelling out money for this: Is your guy donating to the billion-dollar industry that allows men to check out naked women? Some dudes view free adult content, while others pay cash for live interactions or support Instagram models, leaving them with a pile of unpaid bills.He may be cheating: Is your partner crossing the line with online connections? Wondering if they’re cheating? Keep an eye out for messages discussing meetups, dates, and locations, or suspicious receipts from hotels or restaurants. Trust your instincts!What steps to take when your husband looks at other women online?

Stay cool if your husband checks out other women, but make sure he’s not trampling on your self-respect. Have a chat about it. Communication is key! If this doesn’t work, show him what it feels like and exact retribution.

1. Talk to him

Have an open chat with your partner about their actions, instead of blaming, express your feelings directly. Instead of saying they make you feel insecure, focus on your feelings alone. Try saying, “I feel awkward and unsafe when you do that.” It’s all about sharing your feelings without pointing fingers.

If your husband still cares, you’ll notice signs of change in his behavior.

2. Create a disturbance

Imagine you’re out at a bar or a restaurant, and your husband’s checking out another woman right in front of you. You’d probably be like, “Hey! Hello!” He’d apologize and shift his focus back to you.

The online scene is no different – if you see him eyeing other women on Instagram, just give a friendly reminder to keep his attention on you.

3. Try tit for tat

If talking doesn’t work, try this: show him how it feels! Mentioned how his actions bother you? If this didn’t help, it’s time for a little role reversal. When an attractive man strolls by, give him the same attention he gives. Maybe he’ll catch on!

Tips to help you when your husband looks at other women online

If your husband is eyeing other women on Instagram, try to playfully remind him that you’ve noticed. Keep it light and let him know you’re aware.

Avoid escalating the issue: Don’t stress! Guys checking out other beautiful women doesn’t mean he’s unhappy with you. You’re still his number one – he considers you attractive, and he’s still passionately in love with you. So, no worries!

Turn your attention to yourself: Concentrate on personal growth instead of constantly comparing yourself with the object of your husband’s desire. Chase your dreams, stay goal-oriented, and live life to the fullest. The closer you get to being your ideal self, the less bothered you’ll be with your husband’s online interests.

Let him know that you know: If you’ve talked to your husband about his online habits and he’s agreed to quit, give it time – breaking habits takes a bit. If he is still in love with you, he’ll make it evident. If you catch your husband slipping, just remind him of the agreement and let it be.

Take a short break: If your partner can’t resist scrolling through the profiles of other women on Instagram despite your concerns, it might be time for a break. In tough situations, tough decisions are necessary. To salvage your relationship, it’s crucial to stand your ground and consider a temporary separation.

Go for couples’ counseling: If you ask your gal pals about your partner checking out other women online, they might say it’s no biggie—it happens. Many have noticed their partners doing it and just brushed it off. But hey, don’t just go with the flow. If you sense there might be underlying problems, consider getting professional help.

What can you do to improve the situation when a husband or boyfriend looks at another woman online?

Concerned that your partner looks at other females online? No sweat! Ease your mind by figuring out what your relationship is lacking, reminding yourself it isn’t real, and doing some self-reflection.

Is your relationship missing something?: Some guys struggle to express their feelings, opting for outlets like an online fantasy world. In an imperfect world, your partner might find it hard to talk about what’s bothering him. Consider counseling. When challenged, he may open up, leading to a resolution.

Remind yourself that these women are not real: The woman that your husband is ogling isn’t real. Nobody looks like a pin-up girl in her sleep! It takes lots of makeup and filters to create the woman your husband is fantasizing about. Online pics are often edited. Don’t stress over something that isn’t real!

Understand why you feel this way: If your husband casually checks out other women on social media platforms without inappropriate comments, it’s probably innocent. Everyone appreciates attractiveness, so reflect on why it bothers you. Past experiences may be influencing your feelings. A bit of soul-searching can bring clarity and help navigate this challenge. Consider talking it out or seeking counseling for a stronger relationship.

Set clear boundaries: If your husband’s online activities bug you, like the whole following, commenting, and DM-ing deal, it’s time for a chat. Don’t worry about sounding like a nag – open communication is key. A calm talk about your expectations as a couple is the solution. And hey, set some boundaries with clear consequences. Stick to them, or the cycle of frustration might mess things up.

Be empathetic: Not everyone understands porn addiction, but research compares it to drug or alcohol dependence. If your partner struggles, supporting them is crucial. Feeling threatened? It’s likely tied to self-esteem. Rather than withdrawing, consider helping them face the challenge.

Frequently Asked Questions

If you catch your husband looking at other women online, you may find these answers helpful.

Is your husband cheating when he looks at other females online?

Nah, he's just window shopping when he looks at other females online. No calls, no emotional ties. Think of it like checking out folks on Instagram—it's no different from glancing at people in public places like a bar or supermarket. The deal is that guys appreciate good looks. Cheating only kicks in when things go beyond just looking.

What are your options when you notice your husband looks at other women online?

Discovering that your husband looks at other females online can be hurtful. Married women understand that attraction doesn't vanish, but it becomes an issue when it happens blatantly. Instead of getting upset, talk to your husband about how it affects you. Communication is key! 

Is it disrespectful if my husband looks at another woman online?

It can be considered disrespectful if your husband's online behavior makes you uncomfortable or if he's overly focused on other women in a way that undermines your relationship.

The Bottom Line

Many women have to deal with husbands who can’t resist scrolling through women’s pictures online, especially on Instagram. Wondering why your husband does it? Well, since social media and beautiful women aren’t going away, what’s the fix? Try the tips mentioned here. If they work, awesome! If not, try anything else you can think of to solve the problem. If nothing works and your husband keeps disrespecting you, it might be time to end the relationship.

Don’t worry; it’s not extreme. You deserve someone who treats you as a priority, not just another face on the internet. Keep an eye out for signs from your husband, like still being connected on social media, asking about you with mutual friends, or talking about the good old days—these might mean they still have feelings for you.

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Published on November 10, 2023 15:15

November 6, 2023

Why Is My Ex Posting So Much On Social Media (10 Reasons Why)

Are you wondering why your ex is suddenly so active on the social network? There could be a variety of reasons behind it. They might be feeling lonely, trying to portray a fantastic life post-breakup, or seeking your attention. Relationships don’t always go as planned, and sometimes, you both drift apart after initially being crazy in love with each other.

Blaming each other is counterproductive; when a relationship ends, it simply wasn’t destined to last, and that’s okay. But now, you’re left perplexed by your ex’s excessive social media activity, which wasn’t their norm while you were together.

So, why is your ex posting so much on social media? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Maybe it’s about getting your attention, venting frustration, or genuinely trying to move on. In the era of social media, this is often misinterpreted.

If you hoped for a reconciliation, their flourishing post-breakup life can be distressing. However, before you jump to conclusions, dig deeper to understand their motives. There are various reasons, including loneliness, attention-seeking, and portraying a glamorous life.

Ask yourself the reason why it bothers you. If you’re no longer interested, blocking your ex is an option. This article lists ten possible reasons behind your ex’s increased social media presence.

Reasons Your Ex Posting So Much On Social Media1. Your ex is feeling all alone

Loneliness or lack of company is a widespread issue, with around 33% of adults feeling its impact globally. When you are together, loneliness tends to decrease, but many still turn to social media for connection. Whether it’s signing up on dating apps or finding online hangouts, lonely individuals seek social interaction.

After a breakup, your ex may feel an emotional gap and ample free time. Their social media posts with questions are an attempt to engage with someone, and they’ll likely connect with whoever responds. If they’re hoping for a reconciliation, they might secretly wish you’d respond, as it could be their way of starting a conversation with you.

2. Your ex is fighting for your attention

In case you find your ex sharing sultry solo pics on social media, there might be two reasons behind it: they’re on the hunt for a new date or your ex is trying to get your attention. Their goal is to jog your memory about what you’ve lost. It’s not necessarily a plea for reconciliation, but they won’t object if you make a comeback, only to have the door closed on you. Pay attention to these five signs when your ex keeps posting on social media platforms to reel you back in:

Posting scandalous content: Some folks lack subtlety when seeking attention. Your ex’s posts may have started innocently, but, craving a response, they resorted to offensive tactics like mentioning relationship problems or name-calling. When your ex takes such extreme steps, it’s time for the 3-step remedy: ignore, delete, and block. Malicious posts are usually used to get you to react, and they’ll settle for any attention.

Posting sexually arousing pictures: It all comes down to your ex’s posting habits. If they used to share eye-catching pics before you dated and stopped during your relationship, they’ve likely gone back to their old ways. But if they were always modest, their post-breakup selfies might be a way to stay on your radar. Seeing your ex suddenly all over social media, you must be wondering why. They’re just trying to stay in your thoughts. 

Leaving comments on your post: Commenting on social networks is significant. Most of us just scroll and like. But when you leave a comment, it shows you really liked it. We often post everyday stuff, like mom’s tasty meal or a nephew’s handstand. However, in case your ex wants to talk, they’ll start with comments to grab your attention.

Keeping tabs on your social media activities: You can check who’s checking out your posts on Facebook, and it goes both ways. So, if your ex keeps peeking at your posts, they’re probably doing it on purpose to send a message that they’re still thinking about you and curious about your life. 

Displaying jealous behavior: People can definitely get jealous and social media is no exception. For example, if you share a fun night out photo with the opposite gender, your ex might leave a saucy comment like, “Seems you have moved on quite fast!” along with an angry emoji. On the other hand, if you post a revealing pic, they might ask you not to be so bold. Those little digs are a clear sign of jealousy and a tactic to get a reaction.

3. Your ex wants to give the impression that they’re enjoying life

Revenge can be sweet when it’s in the form of success. When your ex starts flaunting photos of a brand new flashy car, lavish vacations, or fancy dining experiences, they’re probably trying to make you think they’ve improved their life. 

However, they may be just renting these things or overdrawing from the account to show off. So, don’t jump to jealousy right away. Whether they are actually doing well or if it’s just a facade, their goal is to make you aware of it. 

Focus on your own path, and remember that genuine success speaks for itself, without the need for flashy displays.

4. This is a sign of distress and call for help

Is your former partner dealing with anxiety, depression, or any other issues related to mental health? They might be struggling after the breakup. Check their social media posts – is there any indication of depression or the challenges of moving on? 

If so, it’s likely they’re reaching out for support through their posts, hoping someone will ask if they’re okay. Your ex might need someone to talk to during this tough time.

5. They are bored with too much time

Were you inseparable when you were together? Such as doing things together – hitting the gym, shopping, and even spending your off days at each other’s places. But now, since you’ve split, your ex has too much time on hand and is mostly browsing the social network, especially social media, whenever they are free. 

Don’t jump to conclusions, though; it’s not some shady plot. Your ex is just keeping busy. Give it a couple of weeks, and they’ll likely ease up on the posting. So, no need to stress about it! They’ll find their rhythm again, and life will go on as usual.

6. Your ex is trying to harm you

Has your ex been flaunting their new romance on social media? Are they going overboard with affectionate photos, making it a bit nauseating and causing a buzz? If your ex feels hurt because you initiated the breakup, they might want to reciprocate the pain. 

With a barrage of pictures of their new flame, they hope to make you realize what you’re missing and get under your skin. But don’t overanalyze your ex’s social media happiness; remember, appearances can be deceiving, and not everything that shines is truly valuable.

7. Your ex is searching for the next partner

As your ex is now enjoying their newfound single status, they’re exploring the dating scene once again. And what’s their preferred method for finding a potential match? Social media, of course! 

Gone are the days of dressing up and hitting the bars to meet someone new. Instead, they’re opting for a more relaxed and convenient approach. By simply sharing some charming photos on platforms like Facebook and Instagram, they’re opening the door to exciting possibilities. 

It’s an effortless way to connect with potential dates and explore new romantic opportunities without the pressure of formal outings. So, whether it’s through a stunning Instagram post or a fun Facebook update, love may be just a click away!

8. Your ex is seeking validation

A breakup can really mess with our mental well-being. Even though you logically explained your reasons for the breakup, like needing to prioritize your studies or work, your ex might still struggle to accept it. They might think that if you truly wanted to remain with them, you’d have figured out a way. 

So now, they’ve made up their mind that the actual reason for the breakup is their own shortcomings. They spend their entire time, energy, and effort and come up with imagined reasons, like not making enough money, body image concerns, or jealousy. 

But the truth is, no one can make someone feel insecure. They likely had these feelings before you met. The breakup just confirmed it, and now they seek validation through social media, posting their selfies and requesting ratings or feedback on their appearance.

9. Your ex is making the most of the freedom

Take a moment to reflect on your partner’s social media habits before you two met. Were they active posters? What were your feelings about their frequent sharing when you officially became a couple? If you weren’t comfortable with their provocative photos, it might have led to arguments whenever they posted. 

Consequently, your ex might have stopped sharing on the social network due to your adverse reaction. Now that you’ve broken up, they seem to be back to posting those revealing pics without any inhibitions.

10. Your ex is trying to build a new image

After a breakup, many people opt for self-reinvention rather than wallowing in sadness with tearful movies and ice cream. They embark on a journey to become their ideal selves. This often involves challenges like a 30-day quick weight loss or start-your-first-business challenge, with regular social media updates showcasing their progress.

While your ex may seem to be constantly posting on the social network, it’s typically not about you. They’re not making an effort to rekindle the past or grab your attention. In fact, they’re striving to create a significant gap between their former self and the person they are becoming. 

In essence, they’re aiming for a dramatic transformation. They believe that if only they were this new version when you met each other, they might not have noticed you. It’s all about personal growth! That is sure to hurt a lot.

Is it an attempt to make you sit up and take notice?

In case your ex-partner is attempting to catch your eye by going all out on the social network, it’ll be pretty obvious. You might be tagged in posts. They might share pictures from places you both visited and drop hints about missing you or dealing with heartbreak. You might also notice your ex posting quotes to convey a message.

Another tactic to make you notice your ex is sharing provocative pictures. In case you’re contemplating a reunion and would like to know the reality, fall for the gesture and see how they react. If they respond positively and keep the conversation going, you’ve got a good shot at reigniting that relationship.

Is this an indication of no reconciliation?

If you’ve recently ended things with your ex, their constant social media posts might be their sign to show that they’ve moved on, even if it’s not entirely genuine. 

You might notice them sharing pictures of their so-called “amazing” life or showing off their new relationship. Acting super in love with someone new, especially right after a breakup, can raise some eyebrows because love usually doesn’t happen that fast for most people. 

So, take those posts with a grain of salt – they might just be trying to prove a point.

What can you do with your ex posting so much on social media?

How you handle this situation with your ex really comes down to what you hope to achieve. You’ve got four options: avoid making hasty judgments, give your ex the cold shoulder, block them, or choose to interact with them. Here’s the lowdown on managing an ex’s excessive social media posts.

1. Avoid jumping to conclusions

Your ex’s frequent social media posts could have various reasons. Don’t rush into thinking they would like to reconcile. Take some time to observe their posting patterns. If it’s just boredom, reaching out prematurely might be awkward. If you’re considering reigniting the relationship, ensure the sentiment is reciprocated before making a move.

2. Pay no attention

If you’re not looking to rekindle your relationship or want to remain buddies, or still if their posts aren’t bothering you, just let them be. Some folks feel polite and hit that like button on their followers’ posts, but there’s no need to feel obliged.

In today’s world, people read into everything, and liking your ex’s posts might make them think you’re still into it. If your ex is trying to get your attention with their posts, they’ll give up when they see their games aren’t getting any bites. So, relax and don’t sweat it if you’re not interested in their posts – it’s all good!

3. Mute or block them

If your ex’s posts bug you or bring up old feelings you’d rather not deal with, consider muting or blocking your ex. The choice depends on your situation. Try blocking your ex on social media if they’re bombarding you with messages, being disrespectful, or causing too much stress. Opt for muting your ex if you simply want to maintain distance from them. As the saying goes, “Out of sight, out of mind.” It’s all about maintaining your peace and moving forward without unnecessary drama.

4. Reconnect with them

Thinking about rekindling your romance? Maybe you would like to get your ex interested in you. Or, maybe you’re cool with being just pals. It’s easy to reach out to your ex – start by liking and commenting on their posts. Social media offers a platform for some playful banter; if you’re feeling bold, add a hint of flirtation to spark interest in rekindling things with your ex.

The Bottom Line

Now that you’ve got some insight into why your ex is so actively using social media, it’s time to figure out your next steps. Would you like to reconcile, keep a friendly connection, or distance yourself entirely from your ex?

If rekindling the relationship with your ex is on your mind, it’s essential to reflect on the initial breakup’s reasons. Have things changed since then? If not, it might be wise to rethink your decision. Your ex’s social media activity can be a hint, but it’s vital to consider the bigger picture and whether it aligns with your relationship goals.

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Published on November 06, 2023 14:42

November 4, 2023

20 Signs She Doesn’t Like You Anymore

Remember when everything felt so blissfully carefree? You were absolutely convinced that she was your soulmate; the incredible person who brightened your world. The love you shared was so passionate that doubt was nowhere to be found.

But now, things might seem slightly different in your romantic relationship. You might be feeling a tad anxious, unsure about the direction it’s taking. You may be feeling somewhat disconnected and wondering if there’s more to it. To add to the confusion, you might even be concerned that it’s all your imagination!

So, how can you tell if your girlfriend is losing interest in you? At times, the indications of serious issues in a relationship are crystal clear. Sometimes, her withdrawal or frustration may not be so obvious. Her feelings may have changed for various reasons, but being aware of the key indicators is crucial.

Let’s take a closer look at the signs that a girl is slowly falling out of love with you.

Table of Contents How Can You Tell If a Girl Doesn’t Like You Anymore?

There are several signs that can indicate a girl’s lack of interest in you. Some of the most common signs include a change in her behavior, a lack of enthusiasm for spending time with you, a decrease in communication, and a lack of future plans together.

When a girl doesn’t like you anymore, she may avoid eye contact, not respond to messages or calls, and frequently cancel plans. Look for these obvious signs:

1. She’s holding back on intimacy

Wondering how you can know if a girl’s feelings have changed? Well, one clue is to pay attention to her body language. In a healthy relationship, physical affection matters, but it’s normal for people to have diverse levels of comfort with it. This comfort can naturally fluctuate over time. It’s not always a sign of relationship trouble, though some may jump to conclusions.

In a strong relationship, open communication comes first, and physical connection follows. When a girlfriend starts distancing themselves, she often reduces physical intimacy and avoids touch. This shift can happen gradually or suddenly.

So, what are the signs of someone pulling back on physical contact? Here’s what to look for:

She appears distant during intimate moments.She avoids the display of affection publicly.You’re sleeping separately, even though you shared a bed earlier.She frequently declines intimacy.She is no longer flirting.

These signs aren’t necessarily the end of a relationship, but they indicate something might be wrong. It’s crucial to have open, honest conversations with your partner to understand and address any issues.

2. You alone are taking initiative 

In a strong and healthy relationship, it’s all about finding that sweet balance of give and take. If you’re the one planning exciting date nights, your partner can step up by cooking a delicious dinner or helping with chores. It’s all about both of you contributing to keep the relationship thriving.

But here’s the deal: if you’re the one doing all the texting, calling, and initiating hangouts, something might be off. It could be a sign of disrespect or neglect, which can take an emotional toll on you.

Love is about making time for each other and setting priorities and preferences. It would be unfair if someone would ignore their partner because they are way too busy. So, when did your partner take the initiative without nudging? Do you think your relationship is balanced? Who’s more invested in your happiness and harmony? It’s good to ponder these things, my friend.

3. She’s shutting you out

In the early days of your relationship, you and your partner probably talked a lot about your aspirations and dreams – that’s pretty normal for new couples who share everything. Over time, that initial excitement tends to calm down, but in healthy relationships, the sharing continues.

For many women, emotional connection is important. If you notice that your partner is less open and expressive than before, there is a chance that something’s bothering her. Look out for these signs:

She’s keeping conversations more on the surface level.She’s dealing with her issues independently or talking to others and is not ready to confide in you.She’s not sharing her feelings like she used to.She values your support less than before.

These signs may indicate that she’s going through a tough time. It’s a good idea to check in and ask if everything’s okay. Remember, open and honest communication is essential in any relationship!

4. She makes decisions without consulting you

In any relationship, keeping the conversation flowing is key. When it comes to important decisions, it’s important for both partners to collaborate on feasible solutions. Though you don’t see eye to eye, a willingness to find a middle ground is crucial.

Now, if your partner is constantly doing their own thing and is not keeping you in the loop, it might mean they value their independence or are becoming less concerned about your input. This situation could raise some concerns. While they don’t need to ask for permission, a basic ability to understand each other and their activities should be there.

5. You have stopped getting any praise or appreciation from her

Do you remember the last time you received a sincere compliment from your partner? Did you feel celebrated or appreciated? If you can’t recall, it might be time to have a little chat.

Sometimes, people hold back on giving compliments, especially when they’re upset with their partner. It’s just one of those temporary things that can happen when emotions are running high. But if you’ve noticed a chronic lack of compliments or the compliments you do get seem more like subtle jabs, it could be a sign that something’s amiss.

Loving partners genuinely try their best to make their partners feel special and valued. So, when that’s not happening, it’s natural to wonder why. What could be the underlying reasons for this lack of appreciation?

6. She doesn’t want to spend time with your friends or family 

In a happy, committed relationship, merging both support systems is natural. You eagerly anticipate joint family get-togethers and holiday gatherings with your partner’s loved ones.  When you’re proud of your partner and envision a future together, you’ll naturally want them to bond with your friends and family too. 

However, if you are discouraged by your partner from attending such gatherings, it might signal doubts about the relationship’s longevity.  A sudden lack of invites to meet with their family and friends could indicate their disinterest in you or that they are worried or upset about your presence.

7. She avoids eye contact with you

Is your partner maintaining eye contact when you talk, or is she often looking elsewhere or staring down? Consistently avoiding eye contact might indicate a potential breakup or emotional disconnect. It’s a common response when people aren’t uncomfortable with a situation or a topic.

Eye contact generally signifies attraction and affection. If your girlfriend continues to make eye contact, it’s a positive sign of their ongoing attraction to you. However, it’s a sign of concern, if your girlfriend fails consistently to make eye contact with you. 

If your girlfriend doesn’t feel loved or valued, they may avoid making eye contact. This behavior often arises when the attraction between two people dwindles, leading to emotional distance. If this is a sudden and recent development, it could imply that your girlfriend is not comfortable with your feelings towards them.

8. She prefers other male company

Having friends of the opposite sex is totally fine, but if you’re noticing signs that your partner may be losing interest in your relationship, it’s worth taking a closer look at her social circle.

Spending time with male friends doesn’t mean she’ll flirt or cheat. But it could suggest she’s showing disinterest in discussing future plans. She is thinking about other options outside the relationship. It might also be a sign that she’s getting bored easily and is seeking emotional support elsewhere.

Here are some warning signs of potentially improper relationships to watch out for:

She becomes secretive and silent about her interactions with other men.You notice sudden and significant changes in her appearance or makeup.She becomes unusually protective of her electronic devices, like not allowing you to use her phone or setting new passwords.Other people express concerns about how she behaves with other men.

It’s important to communicate openly with your partner if you notice any of these signs and address any issues in your relationship together.

9. She has lost interest in working on your relationship 

In healthy relationships, continuous communication, understanding, and compromise are essential. No relationship is perfect, so it’s important for both partners to regularly assess the strong and weak points of the relationship together.

If such conversations are drying up, it could be a sign that one person is losing interest in the relationship. Take notice when your partner no longer shows any inclination to work together to improve the relationship.

During conflicts, it’s important for both partners to take personal responsibility for their actions. However, if one partner is losing interest, this accountability might not happen. When a partner stops putting in effort and seems to have lost hope, it may be a troubling sign that they are no longer bothered about the relationship’s outcome.

10. Her involvement in your relationship is minimal

Is your partner relying on you to handle most of the responsibilities? Do you often find yourself managing the chores, childcare, or budgeting, while your partner’s contribution is minimal? 

While it’s possible that their minimal effort is due to stress or mental health problems, a healthy relationship involves both partners actively supporting each other. If your partner consistently contributes minimum support, it may indicate a lack of consideration for your needs and time, suggesting that they prioritize their desires over essential responsibilities.

11. She suggests a polyamorous arrangement 

Open relationships involve consensually sharing non-monogamous connections with others. It’s a valid choice, offering emotional and sexual benefits for some couples. If your partner suddenly suggests an open relationship, it might be a sign of losing interest in your relationship.

To make open relationships work, both partners must establish and respect healthy boundaries. If your girlfriend disregards these boundaries, it’s a matter of concern. Additionally, if your relationship has been exclusively monogamous, and they push for a change, take notice. 

In simpler terms, if your partner has never mentioned open relationships before but now wants one, it might be a warning sign. They could be indirectly seeking permission to flirt or cheat or trying to justify having both committing to your relationship and exploring relationships with others.

13. She no longer uses “we” and “us” in conversations

Remember when your partner used to chat openly about how you both had planned all the fun things to do in the future? It was such an exciting and refreshing feeling, right?

Well, here’s a little heads-up: if you start noticing that she’s using the words “we” and “us” less and less, it could be a sign that she’s beginning to imagine a future alone, excluding you.

Another thing to keep an eye on is if she’s becoming wishy-washy about making big plans like moving in with you, marriage, or having kids. It might indicate that she’s reevaluating how happy she is with you.

14. Her interest in your goals and dreams is waning

When we’re in love, we cherish our partner’s independence and dreams, wanting their happiness above all else. If your girlfriend loses interest in you and shows reluctance to support you, it could be a sign that they’re becoming more self-centered and distant. It might also mean they’re hesitant to discuss these changes in their relationship with you.

15. She’s more self-reliant

So, if your partner’s personality takes a sudden and drastic turn, even if it looks positive, it might raise some concerns. Why, you ask? Well, personal change is usually a slow and challenging journey that requires time and effort.  It also needs a conscious decision to make it happen.

So, if your girlfriend suddenly is brimming with confidence and happiness out of the blue (and you’re not sure why), it’s worth being a bit cautious. Boosting self-esteem typically happens gradually, so big changes might indicate something fishy.

In some instances, it could be a sign of an affair. However, she may also be trying to distance herself from you and your relationship emotionally and is eager to move forward. Keep an eye out!

16. She’s secretive and guards her privacy

Is she suddenly hiding her phone’s location? Or does she get nervous when you want to use her phone? Did she start working longer hours or staying late at work?

We all experience changes in our routines, but if you feel that her explanations don’t add up or you catch her in strange lies, it’s time to take notice. Trust forms the foundation of a strong relationship, and secrecy can undermine it. If she’s keeping secrets without any concern, it’s a major warning sign.

17. She talks about leaving you

When someone mentions leaving a relationship, it’s usually an indication of major unhappiness. In a strong, loving relationship, partners aim to resolve issues together. Breaking up should be the last option, not a casual topic.

Additionally, watch out if your partner jokes about leaving, finding someone new, or getting a divorce. Even seemingly harmless jokes might hide deeper issues, potentially making you feel like you’re overreacting.

18. She’s constantly fighting with you

Have you ever felt like you can’t catch a break? Is she constantly nitpicking, from your past relationships to your fashion choices to how you handle chores? 

Conflict is a part of any relationship, but healthy couples know how to choose their battles. Couples in love typically are ready to be more lenient towards each other.

If you’re suddenly the villain in her eyes, it might be because she’s struggling with her true feelings for you. Sometimes, when partners fall out of love, it gives rise to bitterness. Rather than walking away from the relationship, they might shift the blame to you for everything that has gone wrong. This behavior often stems from uncertainty.

For instance, she could be aware of her dissatisfaction with the relationship but still wonder if things can be fixed.

19. You caught her cheating you

A partner doesn’t necessarily flirt or cheat when they fall out of love. However, it does point to some big issues. When someone flirts or cheats, it’s a clear sign they’ve put their short-term desires ahead of the relationship’s trust. They’re consciously seeking emotional or physical satisfaction without considering you.

Some may downplay that they flirt or cheat, blaming a momentary lapse in judgment. While there may be some truth, it’s wise to be cautious. Research on breach of trust and infidelity suggests that cheaters might be prone to repeating their unfaithful behavior. So, it’s a red flag worth paying attention to.

20. She doesn’t text back quickly

At first in a relationship, couples often text each other a lot. Fast replies show excitement to connect. But over time, communication may slow down naturally in a long relationship.

But if your girlfriend suddenly takes way longer to text you back for no reason, she may be less interested. In good relationships, both people try to connect regularly through messages. If your partner keeps taking forever to reply or doesn’t reply at all, she could be uninterested in talking. And you’re probably not a top priority anymore.

Before assuming she doesn’t care anymore, think about other reasons for slower replies, like a busy schedule. But if there’s no good reason and slow responses continue, she has likely pulled away emotionally from the relationship.

What Next?

If you notice several of these signs, it may indicate your girlfriend is uninterested in you and the relationship is no longer making her happy.

Sometimes, having an open and honest conversation can fix a struggling relationship, but not always. Other times, they make it clear that it’s time to end the relationship.

If your partner is disengaged and you have tried working on things without success, it may be best for both of you to call it quits.

Rather than clinging to something that is one-sided, be direct about the issues and make it clear the relationship is over. This will allow you both to move forward.

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Published on November 04, 2023 16:57

October 31, 2023

13 Funny Things To Say To A Narcissist

Looking to add a bit of humor when dealing with those folks suffering from self-absorption? Narcissists, you know, are the ones who are all about themselves and they can turn out to be a real headache. Well, we’ve got some lighthearted comebacks for you to try.

But first, let’s talk about the not-so-fun side of dealing with narcissists. Their nasty and manipulative behavior can really mess with your emotions and sanity. Plus, a narcissist is so exceptional at playing psychological games that you might end up questioning if it’s you who’s at fault.

Here’s the happy news: Resisting a narcissist can be both simple and more gratifying than you’d expect. In this article, we’ve got thirteen witty responses to throw at them. And, not only that, we’ll also share some tips on ways to avoid getting hurt and maybe even exact your revenge. 

Funny things to say to a narcissist

Sure thing! Let’s dive into a few light-hearted quips and funny comebacks you can use when dealing with a narcissist in their true form. These cheeky comebacks work wonders when they start playing mind games and drop a rude, self-centered, or unbelievably clueless comment your way. Delivered with a playful touch of sarcasm, they’ll leave the narcissist pondering their choices.

1. “Do you know your problem? You don’t realize that you’re the problem”

Consider using this gentle phrase, when you’re chatting with a narcissist who might tend to focus on their own problems without recognizing their role in creating them: “You seem to be a common factor in all these situations you’ve described.” Be prepared for a variety of reactions, which could range from strong denial to awkward silence.

Here’s the deal: Some narcissists may not even be aware of their behavior. They might not realize that they make their lives stressful and it stems from their own actions and poor interpersonal skills.

Sharing something like this might help them become more self-aware and take steps to improve themselves.

Of course, there’s no guarantee of how the narcissist will react, but at least you’ve expressed your perspective and done your part.

2. “I’m not good at astronomy. But I’m positive the Universe doesn’t revolve around you”

Ever encountered a narcissist who seems a tad too self-absorbed, like they believe the world revolves around them? Next time you find yourself in that situation, you can drop this line. You can also get creative and come up with a clever, humorous version of it: “Hey, the Earth doesn’t orbit around you, you know!”

Sure, it might ruffle their feathers a bit, but the real magic happens when it gets them thinking. A narcissist might not appreciate it at the moment and even get a little angry, but deep down, it could be the nudge they need to realize just how egotistical they’ve been. So, while they might not thank you immediately, one day, they might look back and think, “Wow, do I act like the world revolves around me sometimes?” 

3. “You’re more self-absorbed than the most absorbent sponge”

When you’re dealing with a narcissist who can’t stop boasting about themselves and their so-called “deserved” achievements, try hitting them with this playful yet powerful line. It’ll get the point across without missing the mark.

If the narcissist ever protests, saying, “Me and self-absorption? No way!” just chuckle and reply, “See?” It’s a light-hearted way to mirror their self-centeredness.

Sure, using these tactics might strain your friendship a bit, but sometimes you need to consider what’s good in the overall scheme of things. After all, finding a way to distance yourself from a narcissist is always a victory in the end.

4. “You act like only you matter. And you wonder why you are alone!”

When you have to deal with a narcissist who’s always talking about feeling lonely or going off on a rant about friends who only stick around when it’s convenient or a partner who’s walked out on them, here’s a gentle suggestion to try. It can be a compassionate response, especially if they’re wondering why they can’t seem to maintain relationships.

Sometimes, it takes a moment of self-reflection for someone to recognize that their self-centered behavior is contributing to their unhappiness. While something like this might not transform the narcissist overnight, a simple phrase can help bring about a change.

5. “Slow down a bit, Speedy Gonsalves”

When you encounter a narcissist who tends to jump to conclusions, try using this clever and sarcastic response. It gently points out that they might be rushing to judgment without gathering all the facts or exploring their options.

It’s always a good idea to encourage people to take a moment and think before making decisions, especially when emotions are running high. Just remember this rule of thumb: If it’s an emergency, trust your instincts; otherwise, engage your logical thinking.

But what if you’re dealing with a persistent narcissist who insists on making snap judgments? In such cases, it’s often best to create some space.

You may distance yourself from the narcissist and set boundaries on how accessible you are. It’s important to remember that if you tolerate bad behavior, it is bound to continue forever.

6. “It’s unfortunate that you feel this way. Let’s go out and I’ll buy a drink to drown your sorrow”

Sometimes when dealing with a narcissistic person, they might seek your opinion, only to later belittle you for expressing your thoughts. In such situations, a simple yet effective response could be something like this: “I’m sorry to hear you think so. That’s my perspective, though, and I’m okay with it.”

This comeback conveys the idea that you’re not compromising your views just to appease them; you’re standing your ground. While it’s true that using this response might strain the relationship between you and the narcissist, it can be a positive step for your well-being, as it helps protect you from their abusive behavior and, potentially, encourages them to reevaluate their own actions.

7. “Oh! Did my ego get in your way?”

This is the classic scenario where you’re venting a bit or just trying to share your feelings, and your narcissistic friend decides to turn the spotlight right back on themselves. You know the drill, right? You’re like, “Oh, man, this thing happened to me, and it’s just so frustrating,” and before you know it, they’re saying, “Oh, that makes me remember this incident when I…” It’s like they can’t resist making everything about them.

So, you attempt to steer the conversation back to the original point, but again, the narcissist manages to bring it back to their own experiences. They even downplay your frustration, saying something like, “I don’t know what’s more disagreeable – your behavior or what happened to me when…” It’s frustrating beyond belief!

At this point, you might be tempted to retort, “Did my ego clash with yours?” and make a graceful exit. They might even try to guilt-trip you by saying something like, “Do you even understand that I was offering you my help, you ungrateful person!” but honestly, don’t let it bother you. Narcissists, well, they’re not exactly known for their empathy, so trying to bring about a change directly is pretty much a lost cause.

But here’s the kicker: hitting a narcissist with a zinger like that might just make them think twice about their behavior indirectly. That’s why taking this approach is a smarter move. 

8. “That’s so vain. You’ll have a hard time finding someone who would like to swap places with you”

Ever had to deal with a narcissist who’s acting as if they are on a high horse? Like they’re the world’s greatest expert on everything? You know, when they start sentences with stuff such as, “Just take my case, for instance,” or “You should totally follow my lead,” or even, “You messed up, and here’s what you should’ve done.” If you’re not in the mood for a long-winded lecture, here’s a little trick: just say, “Give it a rest. Not everyone’s trying to be a copy of you.”

Chances are, the narcissist won’t be thrilled with your response at the moment, but it might make them think twice about their behavior. Sometimes, all it takes is a little nudge to help someone see their own flaws – and you might be the first person to do it!

9. “Good that you jogged my memory of why you’re not popular. I had almost forgotten”

When dealing with a particularly unpleasant narcissist, you can respond with a little dose of reality in a friendly and casual way. Say something like, “Thanks for the reminder of why you’re not everyone’s cup of tea.” Trust me, whatever negativity they throw your way won’t match the zinger you just delivered.

Narcissists tend to think they’re universally adored and that anyone who disagrees is just plain crazy. But dropping a line like this can be a gentle wake-up call for them, making them wonder, “Oh really? Do people really not like me?”

As for whether the narcissist will actually change, well, that’s anyone’s guess. The language that they seem to understand is power, so sometimes a little reality check is all you can do.

10. “Let’s forget about me and focus on you”

Here’s a handy response for those moments when the narcissist rudely cuts you off and turns the conversation all about themselves, as they often tend to do. You can keep this phrase in your back pocket, and if things get really out of hand, consider using it to gracefully wrap up the conversation, more so if they don’t offer an apology (which, let’s face it, they usually won’t). 

11. “Oh, it’s nice to know that I do exist. Probably you need something from me”

This is ideal when the narcissist comes knocking, seeking one more favor. You’re well aware that once you’ve helped them out, you’ll fade into the background. In such situations, it’s time to politely decline their request. 

But brace yourself, because the narcissist might toss a snide comment your way, branding you as unhelpful and/or ungrateful.

Don’t fret, though! You’ve got the perfect comeback up your sleeve, one that’s sure to discourage any future favor-seeking attempts.

12. “Sorry, did I ask for your viewpoint?”

“Oops, my bad! I can’t recall ever requesting your opinion, but hey, it happens, right?” You know, it’s quite common for those narcissists who hold themselves in high regard to generously dish out advice we didn’t even know we needed. 

When you find yourself on the receiving end of such unsolicited wisdom, a playful and sarcastic comeback like the one below can work wonders, making it clear you’re not exactly thrilled by their “shoulds.” So, the next time a narcissist is offering unwelcome advice, you can kindly say, “Thanks for the input, but I’m the captain of my own ship!” It’s a subtle reminder that you’ve got things under control and don’t need any extra navigational assistance.

13. “So, tell me, do you come with an “off” button?”

We’ve all had our moments of dominating a conversation, but when it comes to narcissists, they seem to have their ‘talk’ button permanently on, am I right? It can be seriously frustrating!

But, if you ever find yourself in a conversation with one of these chatterboxes and want to playfully convey to them that you’re reaching your limit, here’s a witty one for you: ‘Hey, could you help me find your off button? It seems like it’s always in the ‘on’ position!’

The Bottom Line

And, we’ve got thirteen amusing and fulfilling ways to react and counter a narcissist. Take your favorites from the list and get ready for some entertainment.

Now, you must be wondering, “Aren’t these comebacks going to make me seem like the one in the wrong?” It’s a valid concern. A narcissist might even go to the extent of spreading some nasty rumors about you.

But don’t sweat it. Are you aware of the reason? It’s because people aren’t easily fooled. They can recognize nonsense when they come across it. Sooner or later, they’ll figure out the real character of the narcissist, the same way you did. As for those who don’t? Well, their opinions don’t really matter.

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Published on October 31, 2023 14:51