Crystal Collier's Blog

Relationships are messy. 

Right?

Just as soon as it seems everything is going well, something pops up that needs to be straightened, fixed, discussed, changed.

This is life: Change. Always.

We all have thoughts, feelings, influences, moods, (hormone swings -- ugh), and more. There's no way you can go through life without saying or doing something that will strike someone else poorly. And even offend them.

In fact, you may do things intentionally that will offend others.

I might too.

Ultimately, we will all be offended, hurt, or broken at some point. And if we're fully living life, many times -- perhaps even in a single day.

Something I learned when I was being bullied as a kid: It was my choice HOW to react. I could lash out and add to the animosity, ignore it and hope it would go away, shrink into myself and nurse a poor-me mentality, or I could choose to understand that people make mistakes and perhaps they were acting as a result of their own trauma.

I mean, not all of them. People are lemmings and some were just following the crowd.

The point is, I could CHOOSE to be offended.

And yes, it's a choice.

I could also CHOOSE to let it go and focus on happiness rather than obsessing over how everyone else was acting.

Being angry or hurt happens. It's an instant reaction and that's aceptable. But holding onto it, that's a decision that we make consciously or subconsciously, and we darn well better make a conscious, mature decision because we are adults. (Haha! I mean, some of us are. Sometimes.)

Being hurt is a choice.

Being angry is a choice.

Hurting others will happen--no matter how careful we are. Apologies are great but we have no power over other's decisions to accept or not accept.

So my advice today: Decide to let things go. Realize all people are impulsive, offensive, and broken sometimes. It's up to us to choose if we will be one of them or if we will let go of pain and anger so we can embrace the joys these emotions blind us against.

As for me, I'm choosing joy. As often as needed.

The awesome co-hosts for the October 1 posting of the IWSG are Beth Camp, Crystal Collier (Me!), and Cathrina Constantine!

The question is optional.

October 1 question - What is the most favorite thing you have written, published or not? And why?

Haha! This is easy. Immortal the Musical. Okay, so there is a book version, pending publication, along with a huge social media release, but the ACTUAL musical? I'd have to say it got its first sneak peak debut back in March. And it was well received. This is the culmination of all my writing expertise, decades of music, singing, orchestral study, composition, lyric work, and poetry of the heart (as my great-grandmother calls it). I don't think you can get more epic than that, right?

Give me your thoughts! Have you been deeply offended? Let go of a deep offense? What is your favorite project you've ever worked on (writing or otherwise)? And do you have a link?

Or abracadabra!

Or wha-la!

Or thank you.

It's not even cheese. *gasp*

(But it does make things better. Here, have some while we chat.)

What is this magical word that makes everything awesome?

Yup. That's the one.
“The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.” -- Thomas S. Monson
My favorite t-shirt reads:
True principle--whether in our personal lives, the countries we live in, the homes we have established. This is why I keep a journal--trying to reinforce memories so I won't make the same mistakes again and again.
At the same time, keeping good memories close--the ones that build us up, that encourage us, that fill our hearts with joy, this is the KEY to happiness. On top of a journal, I like to keep a gratitude journal. Every day I list a minimum of 5 things I'm grateful for. This practice ensures I review the day for the best parts and focus on the things that bring me peace, happiness, even pain followed by resolution.
So is this concept magic? Remembering? Yup. Totally. 100%.

Let's reinforce AWESOME memories, holding onto the ones that shape us, and aiming to create a history we can be proud of.

The awesome co-hosts for the September 3 posting of the IWSG are Kim Lajevardi, Natalie Aguirre, Nancy Gideon, and Diedre Knight!

September 3 question: What are your thoughts on using AI, such as GPChat, Raptor, and others with your writing? Would you use it for research, storybible, or creating outlines\beats?

Here's where I admit I use it. Not for outlining. Not for story bible. I like AI for inspirational image generation, research assistance, and when my brain occasionally struggles with rephrasing a sentence, I really LOVE getting a few suggestions. (Normally, I'd go to a critique partner for this.) 

What about you? Do you use AI regularly? What for? And how do you keep your memories?

This is the month.

THE MONTH.

The month people go back to school. (Were you expecting something else?)

We've homeschooled for twenty years. Twenty. You might think I know what I'm doing after all that. Three graduates and two more inching forward with 9 years until the finish line... In those twenty years we've tried all kinds of things:

WorkbooksA kinesthetic educationVirtual classesDVD classesHosting co-opsLibrary classesA Montessori approachEstablishing a teen book clubAttending small co-opsCreating fieldtripsEarly collegeAttending LARGE co-opsHosting parties and eventsRunning a drama program...

We've run solo, done groups, and used a hybrid. It's always easy to up the scale/scope/commitment, but it's terrifying to scale down. I remember the days of going it alone, always wondering if I was doing enough, worrying about the balance of experiences...

This school year, we're pulling away from the major supports we've utilized since 2018. Going solo. To be fair, we have a strong support group of friends but stepping back means everything falls on my shoulders.

And why are we doing this? 
To chase a dream. (Literally.) Because I can't do both. It's too much.

So we're giving up the familiar, comfortable, status quo for something that feels impossible, heavy, and ALL ON US. Doesn't that sound smart?

But here's the thing: it's either worth it, or it's not, and we can't know without trying. That's the deal with going after your dreams--if you don't put everything on the line, you are choosing the mundane. The boring. The unchallenged. And there's nothing wrong with that, but I'd rather live without any what if's. Which means I'm choosing (consciously, intentionally) the unknown and the burning shoulders that go with carrying the load. May my muscles grow rather than charring to cinder. 😂
What big dream would you risk it all for?

Thanks to our awesome co-hosts for the IWSG: Ronel Janse van Vuuren, Natalie Aguirre, Sarah - The Faux Fountain Pen, and Olga Godim.

This month's question - What is the most unethical practice in the publishing industry?

I'm going to skip the question this time, but I'd love to hear your thoughts. 

What changes are you facing that have your heart pounding? Do you have a big dream you'd throw your status quo to pursue? Have you ever stopped to intentionally rewrite your personal narrative?

Read to the end because I have something EPIC in this post.

Speaking of reading, I read a LOT of books when I should be sleeping...because I can't. Sleep, that is. 

We could call out a couple reasons for that -- stress, my musical, kids, health...but we'll leave it there.

A couple things I've learned about NOT getting healthy sleep:

- Over time the brain will degrade and Alzheimer's symptoms may appear.

- Good luck taking off the weight if you don't give the body adequate time to rest.

- Your brain and tongue become separate entities.

So how do we overcome sleeplessness?

1. Exercise: When I first expressed I was having sleep issues, my father and doctor told me to exercise more. Default advice. (But not right before bed.)

2. Hormones/Gut health/Allergies: I don't know about you, but I have TERRIBLE allergies. If anything is off in my environment, sleep is the first to go. And let's face it, for women, hormones are constantly fluctuating, so...you know...get that under control.

3. Light pollution: The body is sensitive to light. Light tells us it's time to wake up. Darkness is your best, sleeping friend. This includes screens. Turn them off a couple hours before sleeping. Use a dim lamp while preparing for bed to help your body recognize it's almost sleep time.

4. Decompressing/routine/limiting stress: Build a routine around bedtime that helps your body and mind relax. For myself, that includes writing in a journal (getting out all the thoughts). Massage and soothing music may be helpful as well.

5. Breathing/meditation/prayer: Deep breathing -- meaning getting air all the way to the bottom of the lungs -- physically relaxes the body. Meditation releases the worries of the day. Prayer gives us an opportunity to place our cares on someone else.

6. And if none of that works, some people count sheep, but I've never found that effective. My brother in law recently taught me a new trick: WORD SOUP. Pick a word at least 6 letter long. While resting in bed, imagine an image that begins with each letter, going through them one at a time and -- focusing on each image for a minute or so. 

Example: Hungry 

H= hat

U= umbrella

N= newt

G= gold fish

R= rain

Y= yo-yo

This relaxes the brain. Chances are you'll get through 3 to 5 letters before sleep steps in.

Speaking of sleeping, the IWSG question this month addresses writing -- and since many of my story ideas come from dreams...

July 2 question - Is there a genre you haven't tried writing in yet that you really want to try? If so, do you plan on trying it?

Yes...and no. I want to write a biography about my special needs brother. I started it once and couldn't continue -- mostly due to the emotional drain. Also due to worries about conflicts with siblings who have DIFFERENT memories. Will I get back to it? Maybe. Maybe not.

And now the BIG awesome!!! 

Check out the highlight reel from my musical! Snatches, fun little snatches from our staged reading back in March. We'll be sharing more in the coming months -- a whole series of videos outlining scenes, giving the inside scoop, introducing characters, etc. Subscribe to our YouTube channel if you want the updates, join the newsletter to get all the insider info, and if you want EARLY access to all the awesomeness (and more), donate to the WORLD PREMIER. (Tentatively schedule for October 2027.)

What sleep techniques have you learned/employed? Are you trying something new (writing, reading, survival)? Like musicals?

How do you measure productivity? How do you keep yourself productive?

My world has been...well, insanity, especially since we started chasing this musical full time. (Check out the website. Follow on social media. Sign up for the newsletter to experience our crazy journey with us -- all the way to Broadway.) In fact, we're elbow deep in video edits and making promotional reels and all that jazz...

But I digress. 
When I was a teen, I had WAY too many interests to be healthy. I was in theater, I sang in choirs and performed as a soloist weekly or more, I wrote stories, I read a lot, I was a sketch artist, I biked and hiked and arranged not only my social calendar, but pulled together group dates and events for a wide variety of friends regularly. And then there was school.

In navigating a crazy schedule, I had a system.

I'd make a list (long term goals broken into smaller parts) and keep it in my pocket. Every time I tucked my hands away, I'd come across the "to do"s, and then would focus on the next easiest one...or most important one, depending on how motivated I was.

This system worked until I quit putting my hands in my pockets. Or had no pockets. 

Then I moved to a planner. 

Everything went in the planner. Everything...
Until that was too bulky to carry around. We transitioned to a calendar -- full family mode -- with notes in ALL the margins AND scribbled over the full-page images.

In this is a new age, every little edit, every suggested change has become a sticky note. A physical presence. A bright colored reminder. Though I still have a calendar, I now keep lists on my phone, but  life looks like a lot like this:

Except in more colors -- yellow, pink, green, blue, orange, purple... All the colors. I try to keep tasks organized by color, but I'm too much of an artists and just grab the nearest thing when inspiration strikes.
This is a constantly evolving system. I think we often get frustrated when our efforts aren't working or fall short, not realizing that there is room for change. That change is good. Change is healthy. Change keeps us growing. So I hope if you're feeling that tension, you'll take a minute, breathe, and reexamine your process or world. Take control. Try again.

Because you're awesome and powerful and you've got this! 
What system have you discovered that works to keep you organized, motivated, and moving forward?

IWSG June 4 question: What were some books that impacted you as a child or young adult?

I'm going strictly little kid here because this is a BIG question.

The Giving Tree. Loved it as a kid. Someone so selfless was amazing and should be emulated. (I hated it as a mom -- when my proverbial well was empty.) 

Where the Wild Things Are. Keep that imagination alive, kiddoes! This was life for me as a kid and the book gave me permission to keep that creativity bubbling. 

The Velveteen Rabbit taught me about compassion, about loving someone to the end.  

It's Not Easy Being a Bunny really registered with me as one of eight kids and the black sheep of my family, interests wise and academically. It taught me it's okay to be an individual and STILL appreciate your unique family culture. 

Alexander and the Terrible Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day. Mom quoted this so often it would be hard NOT to have an impact. Bad days happen to everyone, even in Australia. 

And lastly, but most importantly, The Bible (especially the New Testament) and Book of Mormon. Most influential books of all time.

What books had a BIG impact in your life? What are you doing to be organized or motivated? How much cheese have you eaten this week?

But which world you ask? The fictional ones or the every day, run of the mill, drudgery one?

The real world.

That's right. The real world.

I've been reading off my go-list, a very long, long list, and finally hit:

That's right, I'm trying to learn how to take over the world.

The crazy part is, I already know what's in this book. I think deep down, we all do, we just don't usually remember. (Unless you're a psychopath. I've done research on them. They're scary. Love you, psychopaths!)
So what are the three easy steps for taking over the world?
The world revolves around people, relationships, and how we navigate both. Period. End of story. If we understand that success boils down to HOW we address these, we're setting ourselves up to succeed -- in more than just business and finance. In life.

So where do we begin? 

1. Don't criticize. Don't condemn. Don't complain.

In other words, BE POSITIVE. Look for the good rather than the bad--and especially ONLY put the positive out into the world. This is especially difficult in this divisive world climate, but I always said if you didn't like a person, you just didn't know them well enough. There is no one on this earth that doesn't possess some redeeming quality. (Even psychopaths.) When reviewing books, I can always find something positive to say (because there's always something, usually several somethings) even if I don't connect with the material and struggle with the writing. 

 

We find what we seek. We find what we focus on. The person looking for sunshine is the one who discovers it.

2.  Listen to others.

One of the saddest aspects of our reality is how isolated people are becoming. They can work from home. They can shop from home. They can live on their phone. 

Tech is nice, but we need people. Studies have shown that deep depression is remedied by positive interactions with others, but in order to have those, we have to interact. We have to form and foster relationships. To have meaningful relationships, we have to not only listen, but HEAR what others are saying. (Even between the lines.) 

3. Focus outside oneself.

I don't state this lightly. For about two generations, the world has told us to focus inward, do what makes YOU happy -- this is where true happiness comes from!

Yeah...no.

It broke my heart when this became the narrative society embraced. I'm not ancient but I've lived long enough to know that true happiness comes from pouring into others, seeing them succeed, and having a focus beyond me. Yes, I love it when I succeed -- but I also get all the nerves, tension, and self consciousness. (I say this as a long time vocal performer, author, director, and all things art.) BUT when I see someone else succeed whom I'm championing, there is nothing but positivity, joy, and pride. (I say this having run a drama program, as a parent, as a teacher.)

When we validate others, when they know they are important to us, we become a force in their lives. Until we form that connection, who cares what you have to say? 

Finding purpose beyond ourselves is the key taking over our world.

There you have it! The way to take over YOUR world, to build something that is lasting, beautiful, and fulfilling. And now I'll step off my cheesebox and go read more books.

The IWSG question: Some common fears writers share are rejection, failure, success, and lack of talent or ability. What are your greatest fears as a writer? How do you manage them? (See the answer above.)

What tips and tricks have you discovered to find success? 

P.S. I've started back into sending newsletters with book reviews and freebies. Join me? Sign up.

Have you ever had a dream come true?
I live near Disney World and there's a lot of talk about dreams and following your dreams around here. Which I love, but no one talks about how HARD that can be. Walt Disney had everything on the line -- his home, his life -- when Snow White hit the big screens and took off. He'd had properties/characters taken by previous studios, risked and failed, risked and failed again... His family must have thought him insane. He borrowed money, leveraged himself AND his brother out to make this show happen. That's how hard he believed.
And we can all see the result of his dream...but we miss the true miracle: that he didn't quit.
I keep that story in my pocket. We've had a secret project (that I've occasionally talked about here, because, you know, you're my buddies) and with several false starts, things have suddenly changed.
What changed?
Us.
My project started as a literal dream. I woke, ran to my piano (keyboard), and picked out the song I'd been listening to in my sleep -- a musical about a vampire, where the vampire was the good guy. (This was pre-Twilight, so...) I played and sang the song for my husband and his jaw hit the floor. When he returned from work several hours later and I had TWO MORE songs, he suggested we should take a week and just see what happened. By the end of that week, we had 10 songs and most of the storyline.
That was the FUN part. The creative process usually is.
Fast forward 22 years, three separate starts, NYC, finding a producer, losing a producer, two previous creative teams, three previous readings... And finally the show made it to the stage.

This last month, we hosted a benefit reading to rave reviews. I'm glad the audience got to enjoy it. I sat in the front, madly conducting the entire show while my poor husband sat in the tech booth, head down to make sure we didn't miss any lighting or sound cues. WHAT A RUSH.
No one was privy to the mountain of work behind the scenes: two years of planning, workshopping, casting, reworking, recasting, transcribing sheet music to a new scoring program, the creation of 200 learning videos, financial planning, team recruiting, mixing music (2 hours worth of audio), rehearsing, adjusting, designing...
THEY only saw the final product. The real miracle is what happened before.
And so let me unveil for you the project that has consumed half my life -- my second baby.

Check it out. Follow on Facebook. Join our insanity. GIVE US MONEY. 😂 (But seriously.) And if you'd like to be kept in the loop on our exploits, join the newsletter list (at the end of this post.)

Phase one is finally complete. In the next couple weeks we'll have the audio and video back to form a new highlight reel with these incredible performers. Now we lay the groundwork for phase two: the world premier with a live orchestra. With any luck, this show will hit the stage in 1.5-2.5 years, with a social media campaign to launch it toward Broadway (2030?).
There you have it. It's happening. Why? Because we are willing to work ourselves into the ground to make it happen. Any truly amazing dream is worth the blood, sweat, and tears. You have to believe your dreams into reality because otherwise they remain only that -- dreams. 
What secret projects are you chipping away at? What dreams are you pursuing? Who do you look up to as a dream-accomplishing hero/inspiration?

How many of you are runners?

When I was young, I was the fastest girl in my school. (I had older brothers -- it was a survival skill.) Of approximately 3,000 students in my middle school, that status stuck, so I decided to go out for track...and lasted about a semester, when I mentioned to my dad (a doctor) that I was shaky and coughing and miserable for 3 days after running a mile. Turns out I had exercise-induced asthma. That ended my running career and I turned to biking.

Fast forward 30 years. My son, whom I had always assumed also suffered from exercise-induced asthma, decided he was going to run a 5K. He trained everyday for a semester, and when he called me and told me how proud he ran for 10 mi straight without even realizing it, I took that as permission to try again. If he could do it, why couldn't I?

My first running session was torture. I think I made it an eighth of a mile. If that. But I didn't give up. I took the kids to the park every other day, and I built on what I was capable of, pushing myself until I wanted to puke. Until my lungs ached. Until I was sure I was killing myself. 

2 years of this, and I came to this magical place where I had built up to running 2 miles. As a teenager, I had never run 1 mile straight, and I was stinkin' fit!

So what got me there?

1. It started with seeing another person go the distance, realizing it was possible. 

2. Making a plan--I had to have a pathway to success. I had to be consistent. I had to push through even when it felt like torture.

3. I had to make realistic goals. Small ones at first, building, pushing myself harder and harder. 

4. I had to keep my eye on the Target: the hope of being healthier and having more endurance daily to handle the demand of multiple kids, homeschooling, directing plays and musicals, and so, so much more.

This one success story in a plethora of failures. There were many times when I had to quit running due to injury, only to pick up a month or two later and build to where I had been. My joints didn't like the exertion. Oftentimes, I'd limp for my run. My lungs hated me. They screamed they couldn't pump through another step.

But ultimately, it was possible.

I listened to a talk once about a man who sat down with a billionaire and asked what his secret was. What could he do to reach the level of this expert? The man told him Marilyn, the story of The tortoise and the hare. He said “be the tortoise.”

In another inspirational talk given by multi-marathon runners, I heard some of the best advice ever: “Never question the race on the uphill.” – Meaning don't consider quitting when you're on the hardest part of the course. Wait until you are gliding down the hill before deciding whether or not it's worth quitting. 

These are the keys to success. I them realized in three of my kids who've reached adulthood, two more on the way. I see them in the talents and skills I've gained through the years. I see it through our slow accumulation of successes in every aspect of life. 

We get too anxious to Sprint. We get excited by small successes and think think we've done it. The reality is:

Life is a distance run.

If we can learn the art of the distance run, we'll finish our race with success, joy, and the sense of accomplishment that only those who crush hardship can know.

What challenge are you huffing & panting through right now? What crazy obstacles have you overcome? What advise do you have to reaching success?

This last week has been a hard one for me. Living in the heart of hurricane land, I don't love when a storm comes along, but I don't worry too much.

Florida houses are typically built to withstand a category 3 hurricane (meaning winds as high as 130 mph and crazy rain for days), but the rest of the nation doesn't build to that standard.
As I watched the trajectory of Helene & listened to it being upgraded to a category 4, I knew the results wouldn't be pretty. Although grateful this storm missed us initially, my attitude changed when I heard about Tennessee and North Carolina. Georgia and South Carolina are dealing with the fallout too. I wished the hurricane had turned and hit us more fully because we have the response, the infrastructure, the attitude to face big scary storms and carry on.


Our governor put all the preemptive processes in place -- emergency workers, supply routes, road and electricity line repair -- but he couldn't do that for the other states. 
Especially the ones inland.
The stories... Oh the stories. I was drowning in heartache. (This is why I can't read WWII books, folks.) Two dams were oversaturated and burst, flooding whole towns. Family members lost. Livelihoods swept away. An inability to communicate with loved ones. I went to bed with tears in my eyes and prayers on my lips.

Answers come too. They didn't come from the federal government but from governors of neighboring states, from people whose hearts broke like mine who own helicopters, from good Samaritans who donated cash and goods. Desantis sent aid to the hardest hit areas FROM Florida and I cheered at every new development. Last I heard, he sent a brigade of road workers with bridge materials to help people trapped in the North Carolina mountains.

I still watch and worry and pray, and soon our family will trek out to assist with disaster clean up (as is our way), but it's incumbent on all of us to make the world better -- to find those who are suffering, to lift where we can, to BRING HOPE in place of devastation.

My prayers continue with those who have no electricity, no running water, who are scrambling for food and safety. At the same time, my heart is light knowing good people in the world are responding to the desperation. Lets be those good people, eh?

How is your heart holding up? How have you found peace despite the upheaval in the world? What are you doing to find/bring happiness each day?

What do you do when the world explodes? 

Do you hunker down and hope the storm passes?
Do you strap on your survival gear and explore the changes?
Do you hide behind your window and ignore the pretty, pretty disasters?

Me? I disappear and take up a new hobby. 😆 Apparently. With cheese. 


I don't know if anyone even comes here anymore because I've been so stinkin’ absent. So... Things I've been up to:
• Teaching. Like literally, in a school setting. (Creating curriculum from scratch.) I taught several writing classes, a music writing class, geography, even preschool. *gasp* (Not full time. Nope. Too busy teaching my own kids the rest of the week.) • Producing Musicals (and a play). That's right. 4 under my belt, two of which I cast and directed (and designed lights/projection, and so, so much more!). Tuck a talent show in there too (including all production aspects—finding a venue, tech design, all the way down to rehearsals with the talent) and we tally 5 separate shows. In two years.  • Running writing contests and playing editor for a couple anthologies. • Had a son get married.
• Sent a daughter to the other side of the world serving a church mission.
• Graduated a third child.
• Reestablished a Drama Program: from fundraising to tracking down venues to building teams to casting... I've done it all AND wrote the manual for my successors. (Seriously though, 45 pages of best practices.)
• Revised and workshopped MY musical. (Two years and counting, baby!) (“My" is a loose term referring to the Collier team, hubby and myself.)

• Held 2 low-key readings of my musical. (I say low-key, but that included creating rehearsal video for ALL music parts for ALL characters for a TWO HOUR SHOW. 1 to 12 vocal parts per song – let that sink in — and holding rehearsals/coaching sessions for performers. Whew!)
• Mixed 2 hours worth of orchestrations for a live performance. 😶
• Begun casting for a professional staged reading for IMMORTAL THE MUSICAL. Those are just some of the highlights. 
What have you been up to?
Shameless plug: We’re looking for talent local to the Orlando area (singers/actors/sight readers). Know of someone? Send them my way!
Our Webpage
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On Backstage
Are you hunkering down? Taking the world by storm? Kicking the trash out of your goals? Hanging on by your nails?