Cian Beirdd's Blog

Since Return of the Jedi came to theaters in 1983 I have been hoping for a continuation of the series. The Ewok cartoons didn’t do it, at all. The revised original series only whetted my appetite. The prequels, well, once I saw where they were starting I knew how it had to end. Having the emperor mastermind the entire war and having his dupe order to clones to have and Order 66 was a nice touch, but I acknowledge the Lucas had very little to work with within the confines of what he’d set up in the original series. The best he could really do was give us nods about what we knew was going to happen next and give us some beautiful scenery. This he managed just fine.

What I wanted was a sequel trilogy. Outdoing the opening sequence in Episode IV was great, outdoing the famous cantina scene was a delight, seeing the Falcon fly again made my heart sore. But blending two different generations didn’t work well, and reusing the old theme of a super weapon was not impressive.

The series just died in VIII. Luke as a cantankerous old man who doesn’t really teach anything that cantina owner couldn’t have managed. A storyline that basically involves the Rebel fleet running from the Empire and slowly running out of gas. No lightning in a bottle there, and the primaries’ attempt at a rescue was little more than an excuse to develop them – several interesting characters appeared only to disappear entirely, or to hardly show up in the last movie. Then Snoke dies, by a slight of hand and with hardly a whimper. Disappointing. The best part of the whole movie was a lightsaber battle between a novice and a man who wasn’t actually there. WOW!

Episode IX had no reused themes, no useless asides. It was what a series finale was supposed to be – the end. Those who cannot be redeemed die by their own hand. Those who can, sacrifice themselves for those who are more important for the galaxy. There were elements of both the previous trilogies, there was a sense of unity, and there was a fully developed hero at the end. I could not have been more satisfied with the movie. I suppose some will wonder why there was no requited romance among the primaries, but it wasn’t necessary. Actually, if you’ll recall, the Jedi in the original trilogy wasn’t involved in a romance at the end of that series, either. To have connected Rey to anyone, there, would have weakened the strong and independent character the movie created. Thank you Abrams, for this amazing accomplishment.

[image error]So, interesting thought. Say a historian, let’s call him Berlinghoff Rasmussen for fun, decides to travel back in time from 2500 to the present. Being well-versed in the problems of time travel, he puts his ship in a careful orbit to avoid so much as altering the movement of any objects in space. He gets planetside without the use of a ship so that there is no footprint. While studying us he eats his own food, always collects his own waste, makes sure no one even knows he is present. When he leaves, there is no evidence he was ever there for even the most paranoid person to follow. Then he goes home.

We watch “The Voyage Home”, the third season of ‘Enterprise’, ‘Bill and Ted’, or any other science fiction show that’s delved into time travel and know that no character (not even Berlinghoff) was ever so careful. But the reality is, the time traveler couldn’t actually go home. He’d be breathing air, coming in contact with microscopic life forms, tromping around and potentially killing unimportant things like worms. When the time traveler caught the attention of a single dog he’d be affecting the timeline, ensuring he couldn’t go back to the world he’d known.

When I was growing up, people would talk about proof that time travel had never been invented because it would ruin the fabric of our reality. The idea of that was scary, but the fact that nothing had changed was also reassuring. Now that I realize people could have been traveling back in time since Orson Wells I’m a little more freaked out. Imagine, any person who did that would effectively be eliminating themselves from our reality. Wow, they’d actually be creating their own reality.

Which, come to think of it, might be kind of fun actually. Imagine going back in time to manipulate just the right events so you could get a date with the one who got away years ago. Or think bigger, invent pet rocks, and have the money to rub elbows with the hottie of your teens. Or go Napoleon, take everything anyone ever learned about nineteenth century warfare and the chief actors, and actually conquer the world.

In your own little reality.

A couple years ago, Abrams and Lucas brought us the long awaited sequel to ‘Return of the Jedi’. In a way it was disappointing, we all expected to see Luke’s Jedi school either starting or in full swing and an appropriately dangerous enemy for them to combat. There was going to be new heroes, hopefully some of the people from the various novels and games so that there would be familiarity, but the bottom line was a whole new generation of Jedi with Luke Skywalker going all Yoda on everyone.

What did we get, a single scene with Luke and a movie focused on people we didn’t know from the media (movies, novels, graphic novels, comics, cartoons) of the last forty years. Leia and Han got little more than cameos. I didn’t like it. Nor did I appreciate yet another superpowerful weapon designed to control people. But, I could forgive that. The Sith were at the heart of the Empire and the nature of their power is a lack of control – it only makes sense that they would tend toward more and more powerful weapons. To be honest, empires tend toward that. Sometimes people forget that the U.S. developed the Atom bomb but we only did it because Nazi Germany started it first.

Then the second movie, with the new characters getting developed. Leia is supposedly in charge of the rebellion but they used a plot twist to keep her out of most of the movie (and show off a Force power, thank you Mr. Lucas). Not cool. I get that the new people have to get some air time, but could we get the fun characters a little more air time, one last hurrah?

What I could appreciate was the treatment of Luke. The most powerful being in the Star Wars universe was responsible for the destruction of the original Death Star, converting his father back to the light side (Ashla), and killing the emperor but lets face it he was always a whiney bitch. He whined about not leaving Tatooine, he whined about leaving, he whined about his training, and then he whined that he couldn’t help his friends. After the Sith were snuffed out he was supposed to start a Jedi school, train beings of immense power, and maintain all their respect with his quiet wisdom, knowledge of the Force, and unparalleled power; like he does in the novels.

But that didn’t happen. Instead he tried, had a setback, and ran away from the galaxy – like a whiney bitch. It actually makes a lot more sense that he’d give up at the first sign of trouble, and running away is the best thing for someone to do if they don’t have the courage to try again. Don’t get me wrong, Luke Skywalker still possessed amazing power, so his big show at the end of the movie makes perfect sense and fell right into his pattern of showing up, making use of his raw power, and then fading away. On the other hand the fact that he had no substance explains why he could never train people, not really even Rey. I had expectations about Luke, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that Episode Eight made better sense than anything the novels had managed. Thanks again for that.

Now, what are they going to do with a few dozen open rebels, dozens of quiet cells, and a single half-trained Jedi against an empire of soldiers and at least one true Sith? Should be interesting.

The long-lived horror/science fiction series is finally concluded.  To the writer’s credit, we find out about Alice’s past, her real relationship with Umbrella Corporation, and she survives.  I felt like I could finally walk away from the character.  From that standpoint the story was much more satisfying than many good and unusual series I’ve come across over the years, among them Buffy and Angel, Dark Angel, Firefly, and Stargate Universe.

I even enjoyed the return of the two biggest villains for this finale, and deeply relished watching them get put down.  It’s rare that the nature of a universe allows for the same character to be killed multiple times, but I think engineering the metamorphosis of the human race into zombies made this exception perfectly acceptable.

That said, the movie did have its flaws.  I didn’t much like how the story dealt with the supporting cast.  A monologue at the beginning of the film says that the survivors of Retribution had all been killed by a human subterfuge that wasn’t even hinted at in that movie.  Whereas that might be a convenient way to explain away actor unavailability (there was a five year interval between movies due to Milla Jovovich’s pregnancy) it just doesn’t play from a dramatic standpoint.  Two of those characters  (Leon and Ada) had survived the worst attacks of all the movies, additionally Jill had been recovered from an earlier installment.  The way it concluded had suggested that the survivors (Claire, Kmart, and Chris) of the previous films might somehow or other be around for the finale.  Sure I expected that not all of them would survive, but to have them all simply written off in the preface monologue was difficult to accept.  I still don’t want to accept it.

And yet we were treated to one of the previous survivors, Claire.  Alice comes across her in moving toward her finale with the Umbrella Corporation. The backstory sucked, that she’d been captured at the end of Afterlife to be used for experiments but had been misplaced in transport and found her way to a haven of humans safely. Still, she did provide a little of the missing continuity to the other films.

Which generally plagued this movie.  The plot of Retribution laid out a three-way war between a computer whose aim was the total annihilation of the human race into zombies, the bad guys from the previous movies now allying with Alice to save humanity, and Alice along with any other human who had managed to survive so far.  But at the beginning of The Final Chapter the computer is firmly under the control of the bad guys while doing everything in its power to circumvent their orders, and those orders will lead to the death of all humans but the governing body of Umbrella.  No explanation was given for that.

Overall, I liked the movie.  It wrapped up the Alice character, the T-virus, and the Umbrella Corporation.  Sadly though, as long as it took to get this to the screen I think it would have benefited from a little more script editing.  I sincerely hope that some of the deleted scenes in the DVD explain a little more about what happened.

I don’t normally review video games, but then again I don’t normally get requests either.  And since I do enjoy both history and strategy games I guess this isn’t much of a stretch.  CK2 takes place over the last four centuries of the Middle Ages. With various expansion packs it includes all of Europe and a stretch from India to Muslim Africa.  As a player you can choose to be any historical character from a major king (William the Conqueror) to a vassal of a minor king.  You then become every ruling member of that dynasty.

What impressed me from the start was the general knowledge base about medieval politics, religion, and strategy.  The breadth of character options is also quite good.  By comparison the long-running Civilization franchise only allows about twenty-five possibilities and they are all kings.  Also neat is the marriage.  Historically, marriage were used to gain territory  and make alliances.  Here choosing the right match will help you breed heirs with specifically characteristics.  No one in the Middle Ages was worried about a woman’s contribution but it does add dimension to the game.

What I didn’t like were details that made gameplay easier.  New dynasties began among the Christians because of the failure to find a male heir or, rarely, because the kings became weaker than the leader of their guards over the course of generations (the Franks come to mind).  In this game it is possible, however, for one of William’s  vassals to usurp the English crown by steadily gaining more prestige than his lord.  While I couldn’t tell you why that never happened, the fact that at one point the king of France only controlled the area around Paris but never had his kingship taken tells me that there was something in place (rule by divine right?  Tradition?  Popular beliefs?) that made it inconceivable. In the game, however, this makes for more exciting possibilities.  If you’re smart you can maneuver yourself into becoming a king.

War here also seems a little more interesting than the reality.  Because of the nature of feudalism and fighting, warfare was not a matter of hundreds of thousands of fighters strategically located in several armies.  Sieges were common but rarely conclusive unless they were drawn out because nothing until gunpowder could destroy castle walls. Very often, the two major players would meet in battle and the winner would win while the loser would die or submit.  The only exception that comes to mind is the Hundred Years War, which was actually three wars and was only really waged when England came to France and when France felt confident enough in its numbers to defeat England.  And yet in this game you can win without defeating the opponent in battle through a scoring system.

Overall this is a good game, with more detail and relevant focus than many other history games out there.  I would appreciate less focus on sieges except as a strategy to draw opponents into battle and the limiting of dynastic improvement to successful marriages, but overall this is something I would recommend.

Well let’s get the basics out of the way. Many people loved the movie – the original cast was back in a satisfying fashion, the Falcon was involved in some great stunts, there’s a huge new threat, and that last scene where they find Luke was perfect. Don’t forget how the Episode 4 scene had a Star Destroyer dwarfing Leia’s ship while the newest one dwarf’s a moon. Or the amazing aliens of the Cantina scene and how they were upstaged by the Cantina scene of the latest movie.

A few people simply said “Hmmph, it’s a remake of Episode 4, they just destroyed a superdeathstar on a world. To which I always respond “If you were a galactic empire what would be the best way to symbolize your power – even if you had Sith controlling it?”

So, to the interesting stuff. When Lucas did the original trilogy, he had futuristic samurai monks that everyone fell in love with, but there were other things as well. I have spoken before of his passion for Joseph Campbell’s work on comparative mythology. Specifically, there was a theme of “Six Go Around the World”, six allies who have unique skill sets and help him complete his tasks. Six – Han, Leia, Chewbacca, R2-D2, C-3PO, and Obi-Wan, were there just to help Luke.  

But Lucas built on that with other mythological themes. Han was the imperial officer (look again at his outfit in 4-6) who broke from his training to become one of the Rebels’ greatest leaders, Luke’s closest friend, and Leia’s love interest – a villain gone good. Luke and Leia were twins. Very often one twin would turn bad while the other would remain good and have to confront him. There was a threat of that in the original series but it was never explored.



In the new movie, we have an imperial soldier who quits the empire almost from the start, befriends the Rebels’ greatest pilot (hmm), and has already shown a strong interest in the heroine – Rey. And her greatest enemy is the Sith disciple. Her brother? Her twin brother?

I love that the story is continuing. Even better, I love that the mythological themes are being tapped again. I could care less if they have to blow up another death star in Episode 9 (a la 6), as long as the mythology is respected

Captain America: Super strong, super healing, the athletic abilities of an Olympic level gymnast – powers at their purest. The neat thing is that his personality, everything he stands for, is exactly the same pure. I had always been afraid that any cinematic portrayal of him would come off as flat, but I’ve now seen four movies that have been perfectly pleasing in that regard.

14 Whistler: What a neat twist on an old story; a vampire hunter who takes in a vampire and trains him to kill vampires. Whistler is crippled, cranky, and doesn’t seem to care about anything other than keeping his man supplied with gear. I enjoyed watching him stand up to his superhuman counterpart and then watching the hero back down.

15 Blade: You have to admire Stan Lee’s audacity sometimes. He takes an African-American character and gives him a slave name, but then makes that name, Blade, his chief weapon. And yeah, the theme of redemption from his past is always nice, right along with his fanaticism about a race of beings most people think are myths.

16 Batgirl/Oracle: I never like her much; she’s a spin-off character from Batman who plays off his dark persona, alternately fighting, flirting, obediently obeying him. I am not a fan of The Joker making her a parapalegic either, but it has separated her and helped the character to become a key connection in the DC universe as an information broker.

17 Buffy the Vampire-Slayer: An empty-headed cheerleader who comes to accept her calling as not only a vampire-slayer, but the leader of the slayers. And she entertained us along the way, sacrificing herself for others, making obvious mistakes, inventing her own language for her Scooby Friends. She was probably the most human hero I have ever seen among comics, even if she was several times stronger than your typical man, with healing powers to match Captain America.

18 Batman: What would it do to a person if he watched his parents get gunned down? How would he respond if he was one of the richest men in the world? Most of us have something like that happen to us and we would give up. But for a guy with all the resources of the Wayne family at his fingertips there’s no reason for Bruce to. In a way I think he is an ideal person, not emotionally or personality-wise of course, but in his drive to get better.

17 Jean Grey: How do you start with this one? An Alpha-level mutant with telekinetic and telepathic powers, who could rip apart all the X-Men at one time without breaking a sweat, and she has no clue about her powers. In the stories, Xavier (Professor X) is literally tapdancing around his dynamo as he plays checkers with Magneto. Once you realize that, all the X-Men comics, movies, and cartoons take on a whole new depth and color.

18 Hulk: A good man and a scientist hoping to find a way to speed up the healing of the human body gets into an accident. Now, every time he loses emotional control he turns green, becomes huge, inhumanly powerful, and indestructible. And, because he is the strongest creature in the Marvel Universe, the military wants him to experiment on. Which makes him a good quiet man being hunted because of what’s inside him.

19 Black Adam: Granted the powers of the Egyptian gods, he turns bad and is put away for centuries. When he comes out again he is confronted by Captain Marvel, who has been given the same powers. Only after being beaten many times does he try to take the path of redemption. Egyptian gods, good guy turned bad, working for good again. They are planning a movie in 2019 starring Dwayne Johnson. I’m excited!

20 Wolverine: A character that can regenerate from nearly anything. You can stab him in the heart, drown him, shoot him in the head, or try to rip his body apart piece by piece and he just heals , flexes his claws, and comes at you again. And then he’s angry, always angry. The movies have been great, bringing out a reason why he is always drinking and is happiest alone.

21 Ozymandias: The smartest man in the world according to The Watchmen, he is also phenomenally fast. What I like best about this guy is that he isn’t your traditional smart, memorizing things and quoting people. This guy is really intelligent, easily outmaneuvering a being so powerful he can go anywhere in the universe, create multiple versions of himself, and make life.

22 Beast: Quoting every philosopher, scientist, poet, and conqueror I’ve ever heard of, all while effortlessly doing gymnastics or lifting objects of hundreds of pounds. The athlete is not supposed to be an intellect, the intellect is not supposed to be an athlete, but this guy is pure both without the particular talents of an Iron Man or a Lex Luthor or the martial skills of Batman or Wolverine. He might be blue, but he’s everything humans are supposed to want to be.

23 Black Cat: Imagine a beautiful cat burglar. Now imagine her with the Captain America formula. In the comics she teamed up with Spider-Man more often than not, half the time flirting, half the time being unethical, and some of the time helping out (she can flirt and be unethical at the same time, she actually prefers it).

17 Jean Grey: How do you start with this one? An Alpha-level mutant with telekinetic and telepathic powers, who could rip apart all the X-Men at one time without breaking a sweat, and she has no clue about her powers. In the stories, Xavier (Professor X) is literally tapdancing around his dynamo as he plays checkers with Magneto. Once you realize that, all the X-Men comics, movies, and cartoons take on a whole new depth and color.

18 Hulk: A good man and a scientist hoping to find a way to speed up the healing of the human body gets into an accident. Now, every time he loses emotional control he turns green, becomes huge, inhumanly powerful, and indestructible. And, because he is the strongest creature in the Marvel Universe, the military wants him to experiment on. Which makes him a good quiet man being hunted because of what’s inside him.

19 Black Adam: Granted the powers of the Egyptian gods, he turns bad and is put away for centuries. When he comes out again he is confronted by Captain Marvel, who has been given the same powers. Only after being beaten many times does he try to take the path of redemption. Egyptian gods, good guy turned bad, working for good again. They are planning a movie in 2019 starring Dwayne Johnson. I’m excited!

20 Wolverine: A character that can regenerate from nearly anything. You can stab him in the heart, drown him, shoot him in the head, or try to rip his body apart piece by piece and he just heals , flexes his claws, and comes at you again. And then he’s angry, always angry. The movies have been great, bringing out a reason why he is always drinking and is happiest alone.

21 Ozymandias: The smartest man in the world according to The Watchmen, he is also phenomenally fast. What I like best about this guy is that he isn’t your traditional smart, memorizing things and quoting people. This guy is really intelligent, easily outmaneuvering a being so powerful he can go anywhere in the universe, create multiple versions of himself, and make life.

22 Beast: Quoting every philosopher, scientist, poet, and conqueror I’ve ever heard of, all while effortlessly doing gymnastics or lifting objects of hundreds of pounds. The athlete is not supposed to be an intellect, the intellect is not supposed to be an athlete, but this guy is pure both without the particular talents of an Iron Man or a Lex Luthor or the martial skills of Batman or Wolverine. He might be blue, but he’s everything humans are supposed to want to be.

23 Black Cat: Imagine a beautiful cat burglar. Now imagine her with the Captain America formula. In the comics she teamed up with Spider-Man more often than not, half the time flirting, half the time being unethical, and some of the time helping out (she can flirt and be unethical at the same time, she actually prefers it).

25 She-Hulk:   The Hulk is in many ways a sad creature. He’s lost his career and is on the run from the government, the woman he loves can’t be with him. Not She-Hulk, his cousin. She revels in being a hulk. The happy, playful beauty uses her alter ego to make her life more fulfilled.

26 Robin: Parents lost in an accident, he grows up in luxury by day and as a partner in crime fighting by night. What’s neat about this guy is that he doesn’t have this need to avenge his parents like his mentor does. That leaves him free to develop social skills and be likeable. The Teen Titans are his creation, something Batman could never manage.

27 Abe Sapien: A geek that looks like an alien. It’s an interesting thought, but you wouldn’t think it had much for legs. Not so this character. With his university manner and sharp quips he is one of the more appealing aspects of the Hellboy franchise.  I think it’s kind of funny that the sidekick is in many way more interesting than the main character.

28 Spike: Starting as a joke vampire, the character killed two slayers, was lover to a third, and sacrificed himself Christ-style so that all the slayers could survive. How he went from wanting to kill Buffy, to living without being able to touch a human, and then fighting to have a soul makes him one of the best developed comic characters I’ve ever seen.

29 Lex Luthor: The quintessential evil scientist, Lex has been around for almost as long as Superman. His knowledge of technology may be well behind the Kryptonians, but he is smarter than his nemesis and a whole lot craftier. Lex has no superpowers and has no martial arts training. When he goes up against the greatest hero of them all he has nothing but his mind. How cool is that?

30 Angel: Gorgeous, tortured, and ageless. In his previous life he was pitiless and extremely creative in how he tortured his victims. Given a soul, he is a champion of justice and all that. His story of redemption makes him interesting, but his snarky way of dealing with enemies and allies alike make him a lot alike. The series ended with an amazing battle about to start. I’d like to watch that play out. And see if he gets the dragon.

31 Mystique: Imagine having the ability morph into anyone. I don’t mean being a Tyrannosaurus Rex or a mouse like Beastboy, but then again she can be anyone. Imagine the possibilities for espionage. Now imagine that character with a chip on her shoulder, and totally convicted. There are some tremendously powerful characters in the Marvel universe, but she’s the scariest.