H.D. Anyone's Blog

In our daily lectionary reading today, specifically Genesis 40:1-23, I was struck by the symbolism correlating to Christ’s atonement for our sins. You have a King (Pharaoh), a.k.a. God the Father, and you have two servants, a cup bearer and a baker of bread who sin against the King and are as a result in prison. Each of the prisoners go to Joseph and ask for an interpretation of their dreams. The cup bearer, whose job it is to hand to the Father untainted or pure wine, is told by Joseph that after three days the cupbearer will return to the Kingdom, a.k.a. heaven, to extend the cup, safe from impurity to the Father. In contrast, the Baker is told by Joseph he must be lifted up on a pole and die. If we impute Jesus into these servants, this is what Jesus did for us. After three days in the grave, Jesus was restored and now offers the blood of the new covenant, the purity of the harvest, to the Father by interceding for us. Likewise, Jesus became the baker of bread, lifted up – suffering the penalty of our imprisonment to sin and death in our stead. Jesus makes us the unleavened bread with no sin running through us. This was accomplished, like the results of the dreams, after three days in the tomb. And Joseph utters the words we hear every Sunday during the Eucharist, “Remember me.” This is what Jesus asks us to do of him, and this is what the dying thief uttered on the cross when he asked Jesus to remember him when he comes into his Kingdom. Approaching the word of God with faith is like putting on 3-D glasses that change a flat screen into multi-dimensional understandings. It is Jesus who said not one jot or tittle will depart from the law until everything is fulfilled….

I purchased a “Built Ford Tough” t-shirt in gratitude to God.  Why?  Because.  Because for the past several years I have been so “driven” I damaged my health.  As a result, I made significant life changes in order to slow down after which it occurred to me that taking care of one’s health is at the very least a part time job.  If you take care to plan meals and watch what you eat and exercise and get plenty of rest and take Geritol (now I’m dating myself), this takes TIME.  Time is something I had not enough of, and health was an afterthought until God sent me the check engine light through a visit to the E.R.

I am now having my engine overhauled by abiding by all the aforementioned minus the Geritol.

In part what prompted this plan of action was the fact that the daily lectionary app that I like to read: www.satucket.com/lectionary/ kept telling me about all the saints whose life stories end with: “and then he/she died of exhaustion.”  This seemed foreboding to me.  And although perishing from pushing it too hard at a high-speed pace may be a form of martyrdom, I also had a friend say to me, “We are in this for the long haul.” The long haul resonates with me.  I am not a Maserati. I am a pickup. It is important to discern one’s make and model.  Some people may in fact have been created to be Maseratis, and I admire this.  But this is not how I am built, and “a person can receive only what is given from heaven,” (John 3:27).  I have not been gifted the skill set for Maserati martyrdom.  But I was built tough.  Thanks be to God.  I have plowed through rough terrain and taken a beating, yet my chassis is still intact.

And let me ask you this:  why are we so careful to restore the stained glass in our places of worship, and polish the pews, and re-do the roofs, and Brillo the brass, and green up the grounds, and order new lettering for our streetside signs in order to honor the One we worship while creating an inviting environment – why do we beautify our buildings but neglect our bodies which are the very temples of the living God?  (2 Cor. 6:16).  We are God’s portable buildings.  And yes, how we treat people is foremost, but a harried and haggard billboard is not conducive to causing others to say, “I want to know more about the God they serve.”  

“Therefore, glorify God in your body,” (2 Cor. 6:20) said Paul to the Corinthians.  And being less eloquent than Paul, I say to you:  What dealership would rely on a broken-down Oldsmobile to draw in customers?  Case in point: “I wanna go to the corroded clunker car lot,” said NOBODY EVER. 

As such, I am grateful to God for helping me restore this vehicle, which was gifted to me, that I confess I have neglected.  And since we are commanded to love our neighbor as ourselves, is it not logical to love ourselves?  Not in a selfish or vain type of way, but in a grateful and nurturing way.  That being said, I encourage you to:  Check your engine light.  

I cut my hair three years ago. And then again today. Fifteen inches off the length to send to a little girl who has lost her hair. I do not know this girl. And yet this morning, right before my haircut, I washed my hair and cried. I didn’t cry so much because I was lobbing off a good portion of my hair; although I will admit I have come to identify to some extent with my hair. My long hair has been a sort of trademark for me as Vicar of St. Paul’s, Tombstone in that it grew so long I could only braid it to the side. But it went well with my cowboy boots and was befitting for the Donkey Dash and suited my being referred to as “Ma” Rose. And so, I identified with my hair to some extent, and so, I did have second thoughts about hacking away at it. But that is not why I wept in the shower.

I wept in the shower because I prayed. I prayed for the little girl who would receive my hair having lost her own. I prayed that whoever she was she would be blessed. That God would grab hold of her and never let her go. That in some mystical way the wisdom of God would pass to her through this hair. This hair that accompanied me through the joy of my ordination, through the trial of the pandemic, through the loss of my Father, the loss of my brother, the loss of my dog, the loss of multiple dear parishioners, through burials and weddings and worship services, through hours upon hours of meditating upon the scriptures in order to pen sermons, through even a baby baptism … I prayed somehow my hair would strengthen this girl to overcome any obstacle instilling within her an undefeatable joy in the same manner my God has been my covering, my shield, and my very great reward.

I cut my hair for this unknown girl. But God knows her. And so, I pray this hair makes her feel beautiful on the outside while God makes known to her that she is beautiful on the inside.

2018.03.18  (The Fifth Sunday in Lent)

The readings for today are intensely beautiful.  And there is a section in our reading from Hebrews where Jesus prays a heart wrenching prayer.  The author of Hebrews relates the prayer as follows: “Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to the one who was able to save him from death.”

And I imagine each one of us has been to a point during our lives when we have likewise cried out to God.  I know I’ve been there, on more than one occasion.  Because this verse portrays the state of being where your heart is crying out to God as you are going through something extremely painful.  Or you are supplicating and pleading for someone you love.  And these times are perhaps the most horrible condition to be in, and yet they are a penetrating condition to be in.  Because at the point that you or I are completely raw in reaching out to God, our Heavenly Father, as our only hope, it is at that point when we are the most real.  The most genuine.  The most honest.  With nothing to lose by being completely open.  It is during these bare moments of being completely broken open, that God is everything to us, because He is our only hope.

And so I see in these readings, the beauty of brokenness.  In our Gospel reading, Jesus tells us that “unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”  The seed of grain has to fall and split open and physically be broken apart.  Then and only then can fruit be born from its core.

This teaching about the grain of wheat is a parable for our hearts.  We guard our hearts.  We put our best foot forward.  We try to be strong, and self-reliant.  We try to deny if things are not right.  We don’t necessarily want anyone to know if something awful is facing us.  Until it gets to the point that we can no longer bear it.  And then our hearts break.  And just as the seed falls to the earth, we fall to our knees.  And we are broken open.

In the Old Testament reading the Lord is speaking to us of a new covenant.  A covenant that is not etched into hardened stone.  And the medium our Lord chooses to write upon is the human heart.  He promises to write his Holy law upon our hearts.  But we have to allow him.  We have to be softened.  Or God might as well chisel on stone.

And allowing God to soften our hearts can be difficult.  We don’t want to go through the softening.  Jesus himself prayed that the cup be taken from him.  Nobody wants to suffer.  And so we pray, “Father, save me from this hour.” But what happens when God says “no?”  We all want God to say “yes.”  But sometimes “no” is the necessary answer.  I mean, think about it.  What if, when Jesus asked his Father in Heaven to remove the cup from him, what if God had said “yes?”  Where would we be if Jesus had not allowed himself to be broken?

I imagine you have heard medical theories as to the actual cause of Jesus’ death on the cross. The theories outline that Jesus began to go into hypovolemic shock beginning with the severe beatings.  And there was a filling of the pericardium with fluid, which put a fatal strain on the ability of the heart to pump blood.  Evidence of this fluid around the heart is supported by the fact that both blood and water ran out when Jesus was pierced with the sword.  In short, the theories indicate a fatal cardiac arrhythmia may have caused the final terminal event. In other words, Jesus’ died of a broken heart.

And so when we cry out to God with our broken hearts, we do not cry out to a God that does not understand.  We cry out to a God that says, “I know.  And my body was broken for you.”

But the Easter account does not end with Christ’s broken body.  With Christ’s broken body the mystery of Easter begins.  Because Christ rose and went to prepare a place for us where we are told in Revelations 21:4-6 that:   ‘He will wipe every tear from our eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

And so I am wondering about the mysteries of Easter.  In Baptism we are buried and raised with Christ.  In the Eucharist, we share in the death and resurrection of Christ.  And so when we have broken hearts I am wondering if we cannot offer our broken hearts up as a means by which to share in Christ’s suffering.  Because we know that if we share in Christ’s suffering that we will also share in his glory.  This concept is explained in 1 Peter 4:13 where Peter exhorts: “Be glad for the chance to suffer as Christ suffered. It will prepare you for even greater happiness when he makes his glorious return.”  (Contemporary English Version). Or again, in Romans 8:18 Paul states: “And if we are His children, then we are His heirs also:  heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ; only we must share His suffering if we are to share His glory.”  (Amplified Bible, Classic Edition).

In other words, when we are at our lowest, we are assured the condition is temporary, because we have promise of a high position, specifically, we are heirs to the heavenly kingdom.  To state it another way, when we are at our lowest, the highest can enter and remind us who we are in Christ.

Jesus has promised us a place with no broken hearts. He has risen and has gone to prepare a place for us to inherit.   This is the Joy of Easter.  A kingdom bestowed upon paupers.  The risen from the dead.  The beauty for the broken.  Amen

2018.03.04 Talk at Community Church

I am grateful for this opportunity to meet all of you.  Thank you for inviting me to share about the call I am hearing to become a priest.  And although I am here to share about my calling, I am certain that you are aware that we are all called to positions of service to our Lord Jesus in a capacity that only we can serve.  And God calls us and speaks to us in many ways in order to guide us –  through music, nature, scripture, other people, dreams, coincidences.  And I have heard God speak to me in different ways, but in particular, I would like to share today about the call I recently heard to become a priest.

The journey started when I was 10.  My mother gave me my first Bible and in it she wrote, “Study to show thyself approved a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” It was the most precious gift I had ever received, and it had my name on it in gold letters.   And so at a young age, I began reading and studying the Bible.  And when I was in High School I wanted to go to Dallas Theological Seminary.  But somehow, I ended up becoming an insurance claims adjuster instead.  And that is what I have been for the past 25 years.

In regards to which, my husband Patrick and I have only been down here in Cochise County for approaching two years now.  Prior to coming down here we were both claims managers for a company in Scottsdale, and our jobs were so hectic that we had no time or energy left for doing things that we felt mattered.  And I began praying, “Lord, is this what you want for us?”  And through a series of unexpected happenings, we received an answer.  We quit our jobs, sold our house, got rid of most of our worldly possessions and landed in a 480 SF house in the middle of the desert, with no real plan of how we were even going to make a living.

And so I began to think about going back to school and started exploring becoming a teacher.  And then I realized that if I were, at the age of 51, to go back and study anything, I would want to study the Bible.  But seminary is expensive and time consuming and so I would make inquiries here and there about it, but we became busy starting our own insurance claims adjusting company and these thoughts of seminary were placed on hold.

Then last July, I was in church at St. Paul’s, and I was standing after the service in one of the pews facing the altar.  Another parishioner, Wil Weimer, came up to me after everybody had left.  And he was standing on my right and speaking to me about the needs of the parish.  And when he paused, I heard a voice to my left say, “You should be the priest.”  And it was a soft but unmistakable voice that came in the form of a sort of wind or presence, because I could feel the direction it came from.  And Wil didn’t hear it, but to me it was unmistakable.  So I shared this with Patrick and we began to consider again how I might go to seminary.  We discussed selling our house and buying an airstream trailer and going to Seminary of the Southwest in Texas.

Then came September 29th and 30th and Patrick and I attended the Episcopal Diocesan Convention in Phoenix.  And the 2nd day of convention, I was sitting next to Wil Weimer during the voting session.  And the Bishop called for a break in the meeting.  Well, something prompted me to tell Wil that I was hearing a call to become a priest.  And he responded with, “You need to speak with someone.”  And the next thing I know, Wil is leading me to intercept the Bishop who was trying to exit the convention room for a break.  Now, I was honestly mortified, because I thought there should be some interim steps between confiding in a fellow parishioner and standing before the Bishop.  But Wil physically blocked The Bishop’s exit and announced to him that I was interested in becoming a priest.  To which the Bishop responded kindly that I could go on to the Diocesan website and find out more about the process and so forth.  But honestly, I was so flustered that although I am certain the Bishop was telling me helpful information, the main take away I took from the encounter was to never tell Wil anything again, unless I actually wanted something done about it.

Now mind you, I have to take a step back and share something.  The first day of convention, before the encounter with the Bishop, I spent the entire day trying not to cry.  Because I was seeing all these people with vibrant ministries in service to others and I was feeling a void in my own life over not having this.  My life has always been work, work, work, work, work, and if my husband had a dollar for every time I stated all I wanted was for my life was to have purpose, I am certain we could pay for the new roof that we need on our rectory.

But so, now, fast forward a couple weeks from Convention to October 13th.  After convention, I traveled with my daughter to stay in a hotel to do some work up in Northern Arizona.  And my daughter is not an early riser.  And I wanted to have a quiet time but did not want to wake her. So, I went into the bathroom, closed the door, and sat on the floor and prayed, “Heavenly Father, if I ask you for a fish you will not give me a snake.  Where do you want me to cast my net?”  And a warmth came over me and my breathing became rapid and tears started streaming down my face. And I had an intense ache which started growing in my heart to the point of being tangible and hard to bare.  This ache was wrapped around the concept of, “Harvest.”  And I can only explain this experience as God’s Spirit interceding for me with “wordless groans” as described by the Apostle Paul in Romans 8:26.

When my daughter woke, we went on a short walk, returned to the room, and my phone rang.  And it was the Bishop asking if I would be interested in a program for bi-vocational priesthood in order to become the Vicar of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Tombstone.

Imagine that.  I mean – I was trusting that God would answer my request to hear my call, but I did not expect Him to answer that quickly with an actual call as in phone call from the Bishop.

And what the bi-vocational program is, is that the Diocese of Arizona is trying to raise up priests in outlying areas to service the smaller communities.  We keep our regular jobs in addition to serving in the capacity to which we are being called.  And so the program is also known as the “tentmaker” priest program after the Apostle Paul who was a tentmaker.  The Apostle Paul, as you may know, worked at his trade of making tents while spreading the gospel so as to not be a burden on the early churches.

Right now, there are 5 of us going through the program.  And so, I have been assigned a mentor priest, John Kitagawa, who is giving me hands on training at St. Paul’s while I am going through the studies.  The studies will be by meeting on line bi-weekly.  We are being trained by three PHD’s in theology.  And the Diocese pays for my studies.  I am only responsible to purchase my books — which is an amazing miracle of a blessing.  The process will take two years and I will first become a Deacon and then go on to ordination.

Now, other than the fact that I was invited here today to happily share about this call that I am hearing, I asked God before coming here to speak, “What is the benefit in sharing my story of hearing a call?”  Because some of you may be saying to yourself, “Yes, I can relate to this – I have heard God calling me in a certain direction.”  But others may say, “You know, God has never really been that specific with me.”  And so, what I wanted to point out, is I was really feeling a sense of unrest before receiving the call.  I had a sense that I was supposed to be doing something other than what I was doing.  And to those of you who are having a similar gnawing feeling I would encourage you, “Ask and it shall be given you, Seek and you shall find, Knock and the door will be opened unto you.”  God will make his way known to you in some manner, because if you ask for a fish, he will not give you a snake.  And for those of you who are not having a sense of unrest, I would say if there is no gnawing feeling that you should be doing something differently, that the greatest blessing in life is serving the Lord where you are.  Because the will of the Lord is not complicated.  The Apostle Paul gives us a guide for God’s will in I Thessalonians 5:16-18 wherein he exhorts us to: “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

The call to rejoice, pray and thank God daily is the will of God we can all respond to and implement each day.  And I am looking forward to working alongside you in Tombstone, as one community in Christ.  Thank you.

H.D. Anyone, a.k.a Heather Rose

***

Dear All:  As many of you know, I am training to be a bi-vocational priest for St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Tombstone, and  I gave my first homily (sermon) last Sunday.   I am posting it to share with those I care about who may have an interest.  Anyway, here it is:

Sermon 2-18-18 First Sunday of Lent

Canon John went easy on me since this is the Sunday wherein we pray the Great Litany, and because the Great Litany takes a while to pray, it is appropriate that my homily be short.  And since this is my first homily, I am grateful for this. However, although I am to be brief, I recognize this first Sunday of Lent as a significant Sunday in that it is the onset of our time of preparation for the celebration of Easter – the celebration of Jesus as our Savior and risen Lord.

And in review of the readings, I am struck by 7 words that are pertinent to this Lenten season which also tie the readings together.  And they appear in the reading from I Peter.  And those 7 words are: “in order to bring you to God.”  Now these 7 words are found in the context of the verse:  “Christ also suffered for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, in order to bring you to God.”

And what is phenomenal about these seven words, is that they are a theme that permeates the entire Bible.  Because here in Peter, the words are set in the context of the ultimate act performed by Christ in order to bring us to God wherein Christ died for us and became our savior. But this theme of God reaching out to us, in order to bring us in to relationship, begins in Genesis.

In Genesis, we know God instructed Noah to build a really big boat.  And the beauty of building a really big boat is that it took a good amount of time and I imagine it was very noticeable.  Which I also imagine was intended to draw attention to the fact that God was trying to get peoples attention.  He was trying to get them on board.  Both figuratively and literally.  And we know God was trying to reach out to the people of Noah’s time because it says so in our I Peter reading.  It says:  God waited patiently in the days of Noah, during the building of the ark, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were saved through water.   This tells us God was waiting during the building of the ark, to save people.  In order to bring them to God.  This reaching out to humankind by the creator of the universe begins in Genesis.  And in our particular reading today we see that after the flood, God extended a covenant.   A promise.  To never destroy humankind again.

And our God is a God of Covenants.  And what is the purpose of a covenant, but to have an agreement with someone.  And why bother to have an agreement other than to be in some sort of relationship, one party with the other.  And this has been God’s history with us as related in the Bible.  God trying to bring us into relationship through covenants, both Old and New.

Now we know how the account in Genesis goes.  The people of Noah’s time did not listen to God.  But this brings up what I find to be one of the most intriguing sentences in the entire Bible, which is also found in our 1st Peter reading.

it is just a blip in this letter of Peter’s and is not referenced anywhere else in the Bible, but there is indication that God did not give up on the people who died in the flood.  Because 1 Peter tells us Jesus was “put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit, in which also he went and made a proclamation to the spirits in prison, who in former times did not obey, when God waited patiently in the days of Noah, during the building of the ark.”   Several translations use the word “preach” in place of “proclamation.”  They say he preached to the spirits in prison.  And the Aramaic Bible does not use the word “prison” but says spirits in Sheol which means grave or abode of the dead.

And perhaps one of the reasons I find this verse so intriguing, is I have actually had people ask me how a merciful God could have sent a flood upon the people of Noah’s day.  But this verse gives hope that one of the first things Jesus did after being crucified was proclaim or preach to Noah’s generation in Sheol presumably to bring them to God.

So already in the readings we see the great lengths that God goes in order to bring us into relationship.  He waits patiently, tries to get our attention, extends covenants.  Christ suffered and died and transcended death.  And then we go on to our reading in Mark, where we see Jesus living as an example for us to follow, in order to bring us to God.

Jesus is baptized as an example to us.  And then Jesus goes into the wilderness for 40 days teaching us that 40 days is a significant time period.    He relinquishes basically everything – comfort, food, safety.  By opening himself up for 40 days to the Father, Jesus shows us by example that in drawing night unto the Father, the Father drew nigh unto him giving him strength to choose rightly, wisdom to use scripture in spiritual battle, and solitude in preparation for ministry. And likewise, during lent we empty and humble ourselves.  It says in the today’s reading from the Psalmist: “He guides the humble in doing right and teaches his way to the lowly.”  We humble ourselves, and God is able to guide us and teach us which brings us into closer relationship with him.

This seeking of guidance from God enables us to better follow Jesus as risen Lord.  Today the Psalmist references Jesus as Lord six times. And 35 times in the Great Litany we address Jesus as Lord.  We say Lord deliver us, Lord hear us, Lord we beseech thee.   And Jesus cautions us “Why do you call me Lord, Lord and do not the things that I say?”  And so during Lent it is our time to re-focus on following Jesus as Lord.  Because we are clean from what Jesus did for us as Savior, but we need to allow him to wash our feet in order to walk in daily relationship with him as Risen Lord.

And so it is my prayer that during this 40 day time period leading up to the celebration of Easter, that our Heavenly Father will bless and use our Lenten intentions, in order to bring us to God.

-H.D. Anyone…a.k.a. Heather Rose

So…we moved down to the boondocks 6 weeks ago, and we have been resisting that primal urge to connect the television to the satellite dish.  And what we have found is that we watch the sun, the moon, and the stars more.  We watch bunnies, and we’ve seen badgers.  We have coyotes lunging through our tall grass.  And we watch ants.  The best ant activity is swatting flies on the un-screened porch at night.  ‘Cuz then you get to watch the ants carry them off.  Which is not only highly entertaining, but truly inspirational.  Because the smallest of ants can lug the largest of carcasses.  It is a metaphor for effort.  And alcoholic beverages increase the inspirational aspect of it.  But it is truly worth doing.

And Patrick has had the time to hand sand and refinish two old rocking chairs.  Another metaphor that things are worth re-creating.  The old and worn can have new life and beauty.  Like famous quotes from A Nights Tale:  “A man can change his stars.”

And one day Patrick spent several hours trying to flush a rattlesnake out from under the shed with a leaf blower.  And so you see, we are at no lack for entertainment.  It’s like Indiana Jones in the back yard.

And I’d like to say I have learned something profound from all this.  I can say I have become more creative.  I have had time to come up with a million dollar idea.

Swiffer Socks.

Yes.  You design a sock out of Swiffer material and wear them all day and they shall pick up the cat and dog hair from the floor.  And then you throw them out at night.

Sheer brilliance born from boredom I tell you.

But in all seriousness, I can say that time has slowed down.  My blood pressure has dropped twenty points.  And we look forward to church on Sunday.  Just like Ma and Pa Ingall who were so bored all week that church actually sounded fun.  They’d load up in the wagon and put on their bonnets and go to church in order to fan the flame of community and purpose.

And so that is what I hope to find.  I may only have pennies, but “better pennies with purpose than money with mayhem.”  And that’s a Heather-ism.  And you can quote me on it.

T.V. shmee-vee.

Photo post by @HDAnyone.

Source: I have entitled this: “Cooking with Cats – an interpretive photograph”

So like I needed to have a cactus. I don’t know why.  Just an uncontrollable urge to have a cactus in the hopes that it would produce a cactus rose – like the one in the 1962 John Wayne…

Source: A Wedding God-wink