Joe Laser's Blog

We've now shipped copies of CTJ to all giveaway winners. US winners should receive their books in a few days; international winners will have to wait a bit longer, probably 8-12 days.

As I said before, if you did win a copy, and you'd like an e-book as well, please write me at joelaser@crownthejester.com and I'll be happy to send it along.

He began his career at the age of three and never retired. He was an impersonator, a singer, a dancer, an actor, and he could fire a Colt Single Action Army in under a quarter of a second. (That's Bradley's gun.)

Sammy hugged Richard Nixon onstage in 1972. In return, Nixon invited him to sleep over at the White House. Still, it's hard to call them friends.

Harry Cohn, head of Columbia Studios, arranged for a mobster to kidnap him in 1957, because he was dating Kim Novak, who was white. Miscegenation was a sin in those days, and Harry wanted to put a scare into Sammy. Sammy made it through OK.

He died in debt to the IRS.

The Crown the Jester giveaway is over; thanks to everyone who noticed! A total of 597 people entered, which is a lot of exposure, I think.

We're in the fulfillment process now. If you did win a copy, and you'd like an e-book as well, please write me at joelaser@crownthejester.com and I'll be happy to send it along.

If you didn't win, don't worry -- there will be another contest soon. That is, if this one results in some positive reviews on Amazon or here on Goodreads. If not then forget it!

-------(excerpt)
"Do you believe in God, Peter?"

"No."

Dean wasn't surprised. Peter didn't have enough imagination to fill a shot glass. What Dean was actually wondering, though, and what he'd never had the guts to ask, was did Frank believe? Lately, Dean had found himself thinking about God more and more -- as in was He there and what was He like if He was? "I'm a Catholic."

"Sure you are. You're St. Jerome."

"I mean I was raised Catholic. If you're raised a Catholic, you're always a Catholic. I'm just not a very good one."
-------(end excerpt)

Dino (it's not really a nickname, he was born Dino Paul Crocetti) was the grown-up of the Rat Pack, despite being two years younger than Frank Sinatra. He's the grown-up in Crown the Jester, too -- as Chief of Staff, his main job ensuring the President wakes up in the morning.

He boxed as a welterweight; he worked as a croupier in an illegal casino; he joked with Jerry Lewis, sometimes seeming very distant from him; he sang and sort-of acted and was comfortable on TV.

(Am I the only one who thinks Jerry Lewis looks like Eric Tsang?)

A lot has been made of Dino's drunkenness and/or sobriety. As he said: "It's what the audience expects of me, a sort of trademark. But what most fans don't know is that I drink moderately. In fact, I always keep a case of Old Moderately in my dressing room."

-- RIP John F. Kennedy (1917, 1963) --

-------(excerpt)
"No, no, no," Sam continued. "That Jack Kennedy -- look, I'll tell you. My pa, he used to say, 'You can trust those Irish boys because they're Catholics! They're like us!' But that don't mean they like us! And I didn't like him either. He didn't take care of his own family, and that's a sin. He deserved better than to be shot by a half-wit, it's a national tragedy and all that, but @!#$%* 'im, really. But you and me, Frankie, that's a different story. I like you! You like me!"
-------(end excerpt)

Poor Jack Kennedy doesn't fare so well in Crown the Jester. He dies on the first page, and lingers until the end of the second act, his sins haunting Jackie and goading Frank, like a fish-smelling houseguest.

Sam doesn't like Jack. Joe doesn't like him either. Frank and Marilyn like him too much, and Dean positively hates him.

It's hard to have a person-to-person relationship with a President. Did Jackie? I'm not convinced that she did, despite her comparative emotional maturity. In CTJ, anyway, she's a lot better off without him.

I am not a crook!

It was on this day, Nov 17, 1973, that President Richard Nixon uttered this now-famous one-liner.

Time eventually told on him; he was a crook, of an unsuccessful sort. This sad fact is the last thing we'll forget.

Our Nixon shortens it to "I'm not a crook!" to fit the meter:

(from Crown the Jester)

A hyperventilated burr percolated through Nixon's mucus. "Bullet box? I don't know! Lyndon, what if they find out? They could find out, couldn't they? Fingerprints! Ballistics! Ultraviolet rays! What am I going to do? I can't go to prison, I'm not a crook."

He now recalled that this was precisely how the Twilight Zone episode (on which he'd based his plan) had ended. Disguised as a prowler and armed with a starter pistol, Tab had "shot" his harpy wife, who promptly flopped over dead from the panic. Tab ended up in an asylum wailing, "It was just a toy!" while his lawyer friend, a somber brunette for contrast, looked on in disgust.

The real Nixon delivered his line with more composure. Of course, what he'd done (or thought he'd done) wasn't nearly so bad...