Chris Webster's Blog

As of today, my debut novel 'Inner Conflict' is available for purchase via Amazon in eBook format, with the Paperback version being published (and available shortly).

I'm super pumped to share it and hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. And speaking of writing it, tomorrow starts the next edition of NaNoWriMo and I intend on writing another novel... so we'll see how that goes!

I only have one request: please please please leave a review if you read any of my books! It'd be ideal if you could review here and Amazon, even if it was just to rate it, because it helps me get it out in front of others and to know how I did.

I am happy to respond to questions, am interested in feedback, and am hopeful that you are enjoying the worlds I am creating enough to tell me how it resonated (or didn't) with you!

NaNoWriMo!

I'm taking a shot at my 50k, going for the prize of finally getting that novel out of my head and onto paper. (ePaper I suppose).

I've wanted to take part in this event for years but just never disciplined myself enough to do so. But this year, this year is the year!

So far so good! As of yesterday (11/9) I crossed over 10,000 words, and am going strong. I feel like I've hit a vein on something great and am loving it as I see it come together.

But, if you're stuck in a writing rut, wanting to join in but afraid, or racing along like me, keep the faith: I'm literally making it up as I go. I honestly am not 100% sure where this is all going, it's just been an adventure to see what happens to my characters as I mess with them a little (and later on, a lot).

If you want to be my buddy on NaNoWriMo.org, my username is: verziehenone

And, I have been doing some other writing on the side, working on some short story type responses to writing prompts, which I'll be gathering into a small compendium titled 'The Short Ones'. I have 6/10 that I want to include, but already have a sweet cover ready to go.

Speaking of covers! I finally updated my covers for Jonah's Story - Part 1 and From All Sides! I love the new looks. I have one prepped for Part 2, as well as The Short Ones, and some ideas in my head for my untitled novel.

Back to the grind!

It's incredible to me how quickly time passes. I can't imagine where I'll be in a year, but it's crazy to think it's already been over a year since my last blog.

I'm still 'working' on a few stories. Still 'working' on learning to code. Still 'working' on other hobbies.

But really I'm watching a lot of TV (probably too much), reading a ton (probably too little), and playing many video games (probably about the right amount).

Oh, and I have a son. Did I mention that? He's 7 months old and he's the freakin' best. He is my favorite, and is the coolest little guy ever. When I sit and look at a picture of him while I'm at work, of his big gummy grin, it almost always makes me cry. Because I love him. So. So. Much.

It's so surreal being a Dad. It's a huge thing to think about how much I will impact his growth, development, and perception of the world. How much he will look to me (knowingly or unknowingly), how many (few) chances I have to get some things right. It's such a wonderful and terrifying responsibility.

There's a well known scene in a Simpsons episode where Homer has to give up his dream and go back to work at a place he gleefully quit, prior to finding out about Maggie (their third child, if you somehow don't know about the Simpsons). He covers up a rather negative sign on his wall with pictures of Maggie, so it reads 'Do it for her'. It made me choke up at the time, but now I understand it so much deeper. I didn't have to give up my dream job to support my kid and wife, but I do have to give up priorities now and probably for a long time, to put him (and wife) first.

But when I put my arm around my wife and she slides into place as we cuddle up to watch some TV Show (currently Prison Break and Wayward Pines), it's such a peaceful moment. And when I see my son for the first time (either in the morning or after I get home from work), and his eyes light up and his mouth becomes a gummy grin and he yells or says 'dah dah bah bah' or whatever ... it all fades away.

All the frustrations. All the irritations. All the things that make the day chug along instead of flying by. All the wishes and wants and 'gosh if only's. I'm yanked from that revelry into a moment of pure joy. Heck, I'm truthfully tearing up just writing this.

In fact, one of my absolute favorite things to do is to read to my son. I grab my Kindle and I sit him in my lap (when it's time for him to take a nap), and I start reading whatever book I'm reading to him. After a few minutes, a few pages, whatever... he makes it clear how boring Daddy's book is, and is snoozing peacefully. I cannot express in words how much I love those moments. Those moments where he lays his head down on my chest and sleeps. Where he hugs me as he dreams. It's a dream to me.

Anyway. I'll keep playing video games, keep reading, keep watching TV, keep getting into rousing arguments about whether or not Lost had a good ending (I liked it) or whether or not X-Men 3 is now less terrible thanks to Days of Future Past (it is), or whether or not you should be watching The Flash (you should).

But I do it all on the side. I do those things, and writing, around my life, which is my wife and kid. And I feel so enriched because of it. God has blessed me so greatly.

----

Switching tones, I finally actually did write the first chapter and part of the second chapter of the short story Allan and the Alien. I found a voice for it, a tone, and a style, and it started to take shape. No clue yet how long it'll be or how long it'll take, but I have a starting point. And I'm feeling that yearn to write return, which I haven't felt in a long time.

Maybe Jonah's next set of journals will be not far behind. We'll see. :)

Keep reading, friends, family, loved ones!

It's rather amazing how quickly time can pass, even if it only feels like yesterday that I last wrote on here.

What an experience life is!

In March I found out that my wife is pregnant with our first child (due December), and that rocked my world and perspective. It's inspired me in some ways too!

Since then i've also seen plenty of change and growth in our lives and marriage. It's been illuminating to see how quickly our world can be thrown around when we introduce a new element to it.

I still have struggled to put pen to paper (fingers to keys). I don't honestly know why. I haven't stopped relentlessly reading, or even getting lots of inspiration. I have more ideas now than my last posting for sure! I just haven't yet had that spark that has caused me to sit and write. And when I have, I haven't been able to.

I admit I wonder whether or not the birth of our child will cause an increase or marked decrease in my writing. I am expecting the little one to provide plenty of inspiration, but it may cause a huge directional change in topics or genres. I am both a bit scared and intrigued by that idea.

At the end of the day though, each set of 24 hours is rife with opportunity. I have been seizing it in different ways: serving my wife as she deals with tons of crazy body changes, service at my church (where I love to be), service at work (where I am being patient and hopeful about my return to 1st shift), and service to my friends (always dealing with a multitude of their own struggles). Did I mention my Brother/Sister in law are also having their first child? In 2 weeks? I'll be an Uncle and then 6 months later ... a Dad.

2014. What a year so far!

So the further I get into this year, the more I realize, it's a fresh new perspective on just another year.

I'm doing very different things this year than last, and my Wife and I have made huge changes to our lives this year (compared to last) already .. but it's just 2013 with a fresh coat of paint, which was really 2012 with some new eyeliner, which was ... you get the point.

We started a thing through my church called Financial Peace University, and i'm really really enjoying it. We have made some awesome financial decisions (on the heels of her losing her job and us making some required changes, then getting a new job that she loves way more than the old one), and are setting ourselves on a path of paying off ALL debt (including student loan debt) in 2 or less years. Amazing. So so encouraging, and I can't recommend it enough.

But along with that has been other changes/challenges. We've totally rethought groceries (and i've been exploring how to make Greek yogurt, and what to do with the whey), i've lost 14 lbs on accident (all I did was change my cereal to oatmeal+coconut oil+flax seed meal+brown sugar), and we're re-learning a lot about how to better and more completely love each other in our lives. Anniversary just around the corner, and it's just a pit stop on the the road we're traveling together. :)

What does this have to do with writing? Well, in spite of having quite a large volume of time at work to read (i've read a lot lately), to explore blogs (my Reader feed is rather ship-shape up to date) and exploring new ways of doing awesome stuff ... i'm struggling.

I have a Google Note that contains tons of notes, ideas, snippets, and things that I find fascinating or curious, ideas that I could expand on or incorporate into other ideas. But since I finished editing / publishing my From All Sides short story, and began a brief beginning into a novel / another Jonah entry, i've all but stalled.

I've struggled quite a lot honestly with figuring out why. I know that I have minor bouts with depression (though I don't think it's anything too worrisome), I have situations of writer's block, and I also have times where I can't seem to focus. Though I could put most of that towards my ambitions toward making an Android App or two (which requires me to finish learning Java so I can develop some of my ideas with my Brother-in-Law), or even choosing what video game to play (1st world problems).

I tell myself throughout the work night (I work 3rd shift) that "Ughh, I wish I was home so I could write." Or when i'm out at our weekly commitments (like Church or Small Group, or seeing friends, etc), "Man, if I could only be home writing..." and then when I am home on my days off, and have 8 or so uninterrupted hours (I stay awake on 3rd even when home)... nada. I just can't seem to hit that groove. When my Wife is home after work, I don't want to spend that time writing, I want to spend it with her, even though I know she'd understand and even encourage me to spend time writing. (She's working on devoting time to some hobbies, maybe that would help her make some progress too.)

I know i'll break through at some point. (I hope?) I have that sweet Scrivener software to mess with, and i've read blogs, books, articles and editorials of how to jumpstart my writing, how to get past the writer's blocks, and how to get creativity flowing ... but when i'm looking at that blank page, I can't seem to make the words do what I want them to do. And it sucks. It seemed so easy in College.

I'll say this though, putting my two short stories on Amazon has taught me something valuable: I wanted forever (one of only two dreams), to be remembered as a great writer. Amazon has taught me to temper that and hope simply to touch someone's life, to cause a mind to churn, or to even find one person who thinks my writing is something they don't regret reading. (And isn't family, because we know they don't always give it to ya straight.)

2 months in, and everything to go. I have plenty of goals and objectives, but I have plenty of concern over how little i've accomplished already. I want this to be 2014, not 2013 Part 2: Electric Boogaloo.

We'll see I suppose.

What is it about a year changing that causes society to re-think everything about their lives? Why is it that a new month doesn't have the same effect? Even a new birthday doesn't seem to really cause that.

Like every human, I too thought about what I liked and didn't about 2013, when the ball dropped and my muscle memory for writing the date will begin to inevitably fail me for a few weeks.

I thought about what I had accomplished, and found that (like many, i'm sure), it seemed paltry in comparison to what I wished I had. In reality, I lived 365 days. 8,760 hours. 525,600 minutes. Granted, I spent 1/3 of that sleeping, and somewhere near 1/4 of it working, but that's 365 days where I faced this world.

I made decisions, some I regret, some I think about again and again, and some that I don't yet know the ramifications of. I changed paths without being aware, and missed the boat on other opportunities.

I affected other people's lives. I saw the way that I handled adversity, difficulty, heartbreak and even hopelessness (occasionally) and how it caused others to make decisions in their own lives.

I used to think life could be viewed like a river, and every decision we make is us hurtling into it, causing waves to branch out and affecting a huge radius around us. I now think more that we're all rocks being tossed into a pile of rocks. I think we have many situations where the decision we make hurtles us further, higher, or harder. We brush, bump, scratch, and knock against other rocks. We dent and even break each other. Avalanches happen. People are stepped on, and people forgotten. Knocking into some rocks causes us to knock into others, to change the course of still others, and results in us going totally different directions than otherwise might have happened. All of this chaos happens at the same time, not one at a time. Decisions always affect others. People are made to impact other people, and every person, every day, every year proves that.

2013 was a year of decisions, of change, and of hope. 2014 will be no different. Everything is perspective. Every decision has motivation. Every motivation starts with a desire. Desire tends to be the fuel for our resolutions. So, what decisions will you make this year? What motivates those decisions? What desires push your motivations? What resolutions cause that desire?

For me, I want to keep doing so so much. I want to keep writing. I want to keep learning to code. I want to keep learning to carve wood, and cook, and build things. I want to make my wife feel like the most beautiful, most wonderful, most important person the planet, because she makes me a better person just by being in my life. I want to be a better husband this year than last year. A better husband today than yesterday. Every day. I want to be a better son, a better brother, a better friend. I want to approach decisions in the moment rather than afterward. I want to have goals, rather than ambiguous desires. I'm terrified of so much, but I can't let that cripple me into indecision or inaction.

I want to make every step count, because in 50 years, i'd love to look back and tell my kids: 2014 was a year to remember.

So according to my Goodreads 'My Books' link, i've listed 101 books that i've read, and rated.

I haven't written a review about any of them.

Why? I'm an absurdly forgiving person. I find the positive in nearly everything I read or watch (like movies/TV), and although it means I tend to enjoy many things that others might not, it also means that my reviews and thoughts are significantly more homogenized than a more balanced reviewer.

Examples:

The Dark Tower 7; I really enjoyed this. Many criticized the ending, or even the pacing of the book, but I rather thought it ended fittingly and wrapped things up nicely.

The Matrix: Revolutions / Lost / X-Men 3: Last Stand. All 3 are examples of popularly polarizing media. Many have strong opinions about each, and i'm not one to say they are flawless (but no film, TV or book is). But I also can honestly say I enjoyed all 3 for different reasons. I look past the flaws and tend to remember the reasons I enjoyed it more than the reasons I didn't, and this makes it hard to remember why The Matrix 3 fell short, or Lost didn't answer all the questions, or X-Men 3 felt rushed. I liked all 3.

So if you ever see an author or reader who doesn't write tons of reviews (and even one like me who requests them on his own works), it's possible they're like me, and are afraid of providing what is essentially a useless or apologist review, as I feel that it won't provide enough critique or objective thoughts to be of use to other prospective readers/viewers.

On a similar note, this proves to be curiously the opposite of how I approach my own writing, as I find myself heavily critical of it. I want and expect the best of myself, and I edit, review, critique, repeat; until I find it reading at least close to how I envision it in my mind, and as entertaining as I would want it to be if I purchased it. Curious indeed.

And now back to your regularly scheduled whatever. Happy New Year!

2013 was a big year for me.

Many adventures began (Marriage in March, to the love of my life; adopted a second Cat; published two Kindle Short Stories; began to learn Java coding), and some changed or even ended (friends/family moved to other states; parents or grandparents faced life-threatening situations, though they prevailed).

Experience is both a blessing and a curse for someone who enjoys writing. I love to draw on the emotion, events, and perceptions I have from different points in my life. I also am concerned with repetition, pseudo-biographical egotism, and over-sharing what should be kept secret.

When I started to learn to code, the reason was: I wanted an app that didn't exist. My motivation was to create something different, but most importantly: something I would use / want.

When I start to write a new story, my motivation is: would I read this? That's a much more difficult question to answer. It actually hinders me more than it helps, in many cases. There are so many brilliant, amazing, and dauntingly ridiculously talented authors out there that I struggle with 'Should I bother?' and then I argue back with 'But I have some good ideas!' I find a sense of urgency in my writing, to tell what I think is a unique tale, or to tell a familiar story with a unique perspective. This is also why I read and read and read and read. Inspiration but also to further refine what I would want to read.

When I dust off older stories i've written, the ones I started in College for the legions of (like 10) people who would read them on deviantArt, I find myself surprised with the creativity I had, but disappointed in the quality. Not in a self-defeating way; I was in College and have learned quite a bit (and refined quite a bit) since. But rather in an optimistic 'I think I can make this better with a few layers of polish!' kind of response.

The challenge, however, is to see past the volume and past the nostalgia, to find the ideas which can be polished. Often times i'll decide 'this is a pretty good idea, let's see how I can make it better', and after spending a few hours, decide that it was more smoke than fire. Maybe i'm too critical, or maybe I give up to easily. I don't throw it away or abandon it, I usually file it into the 'maybe this idea can be used differently' pile.

In my published eBooks, I dusted off two older stories of mine, and polished the heck out of them. It was scary. The one was part of a grand narrative concept that I am still proud of, and that I am still pursuing. The individual stories were always envisioned as part of a greater story, and I think i'm just as excited to see how it will turn out as I am to write it. The first part of Jonah's Story has been received pretty well, and this is great! It's also quite daunting, because now there is expectation about the second part. It gives me motivation and pushes me to make it better, but I continually face concern that i'm losing the sense of creativity and wonder that drove the first part, and focusing too hard on the 'is this a great idea?' part. It's a bit scary. I'm like every human, I want to be liked.

The second of the two stories was another idea I had long ago, an inspiration that came from a challenge to myself: how can I tell this story differently, and how can I push myself? The original narrative was significantly smaller, much more raw, and much less ... well, ... good. After reading it and re-reading it and re-re-reading it, (and even reading it to my Wife for feedback), I found myself still liking the idea, but knowing that it needed a lot of re-working, and most importantly: an ending. I learned a few valuable lessons in the exercise of 'From All Sides': 1) Short stories can be started without a defined ending, but 2) it is important that the ending does not feel forced. 3) You can write what you don't know, but be careful with taking liberties... do the research. 4) Not every story will be well received.

I'm not sure that this blog will ever be one that I write regularly or with tons of wisdom, but I do think I can say this: being an author is being on an adventure, and every story is either a flower or a thunderstorm. One isn't better necessarily, it's all perspective, and it's all about where it takes you.

If you were wondering where i'm going (with my writing), I have a few ideas on the back-burner that I hope to continue to realize:
1) Jonah's Story - Part 2 In Progress
2) Untitled Novel (the novel Jonah's Story leads into) In Progress
3) A Biographical tale about the unlikely events that led to meeting my Wife Researching / Planning
4) A few others that I want to refine before I share more of...

Last notes: Both of my Short Stories (Jonah's Story - Part 1; From All Sides) will be Free on Amazon from 12/25-12/29. If you've been interested but not enough to pay $.99, I encourage you to grab them while they are free. I also would greatly (like any other author!) appreciate comments, critiques, and thoughts, whether on Amazon, Goodreads, or in a private message format. I can't grow without knowing what's holding me back. :)

Happy Holidays!