Lanie Stevens's Blog

Let’s stop pretending confidence is something you can paste on with posture tips and a bold lipstick. Real confidence—the kind that changes the air when you walk into a room—isn’t about pretending. It’s not about being the loudest, the prettiest, or the most accomplished woman in the group. It’s about energy. Frequency. The kind of settled, unbothered knowing that says, I am the damn table. I’m not here to audition for a chair.

Confidence isn’t reactive. It doesn’t spiral when someone pulls away. It doesn’t perform femininity like a trick. It doesn’t explain itself to men who are emotionally undercooked. Confidence just is. It’s the internal click that happens when you stop trying to be chosen and realize: I’ve already chosen myself. Everyone else is just catching up. You stop contorting. You stop shrinking. You stop leaking energy in a thousand directions hoping someone will recognize your worth—and instead, you become the woman who recognizes it first.

And that’s when things get interesting.

Because when a woman lands in that kind of energy, the world shifts. People notice. Not because she’s trying to be noticed, but because she’s become undeniable. She’s not texting anyone “just to check in.” She’s not watching someone’s stories hoping for a sign. She’s not crafting the perfect message to sound chill and sexy and emotionally available but not too available. She’s out of that game. Entirely. And that kind of silence? That kind of self-possession? It echoes. It makes him wonder. It makes the ones who mishandled her start checking in just to see if the door’s still open.

It’s not.

A confident woman doesn’t slam the door behind her. She just walks away so fully that the air gets still. She doesn’t try to make him regret losing her. She doesn’t need to. He will. Whether he admits it or not, he will feel the absence of what he didn’t know how to hold. Because confidence isn’t just attractive—it’s haunting. It lingers in the spaces you used to fill with softness. It stirs the part of him that recognized your value only after it was gone.

And yes, it makes you hotter. Tangibly. Viscerally. When you stop asking if you’re too much, your body relaxes. When you stop chasing, your energy changes. When you stop proving, your voice deepens. Your laugh gets louder. Your eyes get clearer. People feel it. Confidence rewires the way you move through the world—and the way the world moves around you.

So if you’re asking how to make someone want you, keep someone interested, or stop being treated like an afterthought… don’t start with him. Start with you. Start with the part of you that’s been waiting to be chosen. Start with the part of you that bends, edits, and waits. Call her home.

Because the moment you stop seeking validation outside yourself is the moment people start leaning in—not because they complete you, but because they want to be close to whatever the hell you’ve just unlocked.

💫 Try This:

Spend one day pretending you’re already her—the woman who never wonders where she stands. The one who doesn’t chase, doesn’t beg, doesn’t send follow-up texts. The woman who speaks slower, walks softer, says less. The one whose silence feels like velvet and thunder. Watch what shifts.

Confidence doesn’t shout.

But oh, it’s unforgettable.

There’s a reason you keep attracting the same type of man in different packaging. There’s a reason he seems perfect one minute and disappears the next. And there’s a reason it all feels so confusing—until it suddenly makes sense. That’s exactly what happened for me, and what I’ve seen happen for countless women once they take the quiz inside The Compatibility Test.

This book has been years in the making—written for every woman who’s ever been ghosted, breadcrumbed, love bombed, or just completely blindsided by a man who swore he was “different.” It’s not about calling men out. It’s about decoding the patterns that keep us stuck—so we can finally break free.

Inside, you’ll find something that most books don’t give you: answers. Not vague advice, not outdated rules—but real insight into the ten male archetypes I’ve seen again and again in my work with women. From the Avoidant to the Romantic, the Provider to the Manipulator, these archetypes are more than personality types—they’re emotional blueprints. And once you know which one you’re dealing with, you stop personalizing the behavior. You stop over-giving. You stop trying to fix someone who was never capable of showing up.

The best part? This isn’t just a book about him. It’s about you, too. Because your archetype plays a role in who you attract, how you connect, and where you lose yourself trying to make something work. You’ll take two quizzes—one for him, one for you—and get a full compatibility breakdown that shows you where the chemistry is real, and where the crash is inevitable.

Whether you’re dating, married, healing from heartbreak, or just tired of wondering what went wrong, The Compatibility Test was written to give you clarity. It’s fun, it’s insightful, and it’s honestly a little spooky how accurate it is. But more than that, it’s empowering. Because once you see the pattern, you don’t chase it anymore. You choose differently.

If you’ve ever wished love came with a manual—this is the closest thing I’ve found. And I can’t wait for you to see yourself (and him) more clearly than ever before.

With love,
Lanie

The Compatibility Test Book

You’ve read the books. You’ve made the vision board. You’re saying your affirmations like a full-time job… and yet, nothing’s moving. Still stuck in the same cycles. Still manifesting crumbs. Still wondering what the hell the hold-up is.

Here’s the truth: you can’t manifest a new future while dragging around an emotional junk drawer from the past.

Your energy might look high-vibe on the outside, but if you’re carrying around guilt, old heartbreaks, resentment, or fear—you’re jamming the signal.

You’re trying to launch a rocket… with the parking brake on.

The 3 sneaky things that block your manifestations:

Deep-rooted fear of being disappointed again

Secret belief that you’re unworthy or “too much”

Past betrayal you haven’t truly let go of

We don’t clear these things by just “thinking positive.” We clear them by facing them, feeling them, and then choosing not to carry them one second longer.

You don’t need to heal perfectly. You just need to unclog the pipe.

Here’s the wild thing: once you let go of that energetic sludge, things happen fast. The right man appears. The job offer comes. The money lands. Not because you forced it, but because you finally stopped resisting it.

You weren’t broken. You were blocked.

💫 Try This: Write a goodbye letter to the version of you who kept waiting, fearing, or settling. Burn it. Flush it. Rip it up with flair. Then say, “I’m done carrying what no longer fits.”

(It’s not a ritual. It’s a release.)

No, it’s not witchcraft. And no, you don’t need to text him first. You’re already influencing him whether you mean to or not—because your energy doesn’t lie. It leaks.

Remote influence is real. And before you roll your eyes, remember this: Your thoughts are electric. Your emotions are magnetic. Put them together, and you’re basically a walking transmitter. He may not know why he’s thinking of you—but he is.

Here’s the wild part: you don’t even need to be in the same city (or on speaking terms) to shift how someone feels about you. Ever thought of someone, and they texted you five minutes later? That’s not coincidence. That’s quantum seduction.

Here’s how remote influence actually works:

Your subconscious sends out a constant signal (even in silence)

Emotionally charged thoughts carry frequency

People pick up on these vibrations without realizing it

You can train your focus to deliver the exact message you want them to feel

Basically, you’re always on the air. You might as well choose what you’re broadcasting.

What to send him energetically:

"You feel drawn to me—and safe with me."

"You can’t stop thinking about me, and it feels good."

"You’re curious, open, and ready."

"I’m unforgettable."

This isn’t about controlling him. It’s about activating desire and safety at the same time—a lethal combo.

💫 Try This: Close your eyes, picture him walking into your energetic field, and just feel how good it is to be near you. Hold it for 60 seconds. Let go. Watch what happens.

(Remember: You don’t need to chase when you can broadcast straight into his subconscious.)

Let’s get real. Sometimes, manifestation feels slow. Like you’re journaling your heart out, doing the vision boards, staying high-vibe… but life still looks suspiciously the same.

That’s when you don’t need more effort—you need a quantum leap.

Quantum leaping isn’t just a metaphor—it’s a real energetic and identity shift that lets you jump timelines and step into a new version of yourself. The version who already has the love, the money, the body, the life.

And no, it’s not woo. It’s not wishful thinking. It’s quantum alignment. It’s the collapse of time between your current self and your future reality.

✨ So what is a quantum jump?

It’s not just thinking positive or repeating affirmations. It’s shifting your frequency, your self-image, your entire energetic blueprint.

Instead of asking:
“How do I make it happen?”
You shift into:
“What would I be if it had already happened?”

That’s identity shifting—and when you lock into the vibration of the woman who already has it, you collapse timelines. You magnetize results faster. Reality responds.

💥 Why most people can’t leap (yet):

They try to leap without letting go.

They hold onto the past version of themselves—the one who’s broke, abandoned, unseen, heartbroken—and then wonder why nothing changes.

You can’t quantum leap while gripping fear, doubt, and emotional clutter.
You leap when you choose the new reality completely.

And that takes energy. Nerve. Frequency. Embodiment.

That’s why I wrote Quantum Leaping. Because this isn’t just about manifesting. It’s about becoming. About shifting into the timeline where you get what you want—without chasing, begging, or settling.

🔮 Inside the book, you’ll learn:

What a quantum leap really is (and how to do it intentionally)

How to use frequency shifting to change your circumstances

How to break free from limiting loops and emotionally “lock in” to a new identity

The power of energetic embodiment and acting from your future self

How to collapse time and create a reality shift fast

What to do when it feels like nothing is working

The exact visualization rituals and mindset tools that I use and teach

This isn’t just about love (although it absolutely works for that).
It’s about leaping into the version of you who already gets everything she desires.

💖 Ready to jump?

You don’t need to earn it.
You don’t need to “align” for 30 more days.
You just need to choose the new frequency—and leap.

If you’re ready to move from stuck to magnetic, from hoping to having…

👉 Click here to read or listen to Quantum Leaping
(Or search “Lanie Stevens Quantum Leaping” on Amazon.)

✨ And Yes—This Is Just the Beginning...

I’ve got two more high-frequency, reality-shifting books dropping in the next few weeks—and they go even deeper.

Expect deeper seduction. More energetic control. Identity shifts you feel in your body.

Stay close.
You’re about to become unrecognizable (in the best way).

💋 Blog Content:

Let’s be honest—blogs are supposed to be regular. Consistent. Predictable.
But if you’ve been here before, you already know—I don’t do predictable.

This space isn’t about following rules or posting weekly affirmations just because a calendar says I should. This space is for the woman who’s ready to change the frequency of her entire life. Who’s ready to stop chasing and start broadcasting. And who wants her energy to do the heavy lifting—whether she’s manifesting love, money, power, or her next obsession.

If you're new here, welcome. If you've been quietly watching for a while… I’m glad you're still here. Because what’s coming next isn’t basic.

We’re going deep into:

The power of subconscious attraction

The truth about feminine energy and emotional influence

How to shift a man’s behavior without saying a word

And why your vibe is the most underrated weapon you’ve got

Think of this blog as your secret vault of magnetic mindset shifts, rituals, spells, subtle seduction, and energetic upgrades. I’ll share tools, stories, truths, and sometimes the wild realizations that hit me mid-download.

This isn’t therapy. It’s transformation.
This isn’t hustle. It’s alignment.
This isn’t love advice. It’s frequency control.

I’ll keep the posts raw, real, and powerful—just like you.
Now let’s flip the script, raise the vibe, and become the kind of woman who doesn’t chase, doesn’t settle… and doesn’t wait.

Because the moment you broadcast the right frequency?
Everything—and everyone—starts coming to you.

Unleash Your Potential with the Power of Affirmations

Discover the incredible transformation that positive affirmations can bring to your life.

Unlock self-confidence, boost motivation, and embrace success with our carefully crafted affirmations. Whether you're striving for personal growth, inner peace, or a more positive mindset, our affirmations will be your guiding light. Harness the power of positive thinking today!

Hey there, fellow seekers of inner positivity! Have you ever wondered about the incredible potential of affirmations in your life? If so, grab a seat, because today, we're taking a deep dive into the world of affirmations. We'll explore what they are, how they influence your subconscious mind, and why listening to them can be your ticket to a more positive you.

Affirmations Unveiled

Let's start with the basics. Affirmations are like daily pep talks you give yourself. These are positive statements that you repeatedly say or think. Statements such as "I am confident," "I am loved," or "I am capable." They're like gentle nudges to your subconscious mind, guiding it towards more constructive thinking.

The Mysterious Subconscious Mind

Before we explore the wonders of affirmations, let's shed some light on your subconscious mind. Think of it as the backstage manager of your life, orchestrating everything behind the curtains. Your thoughts, beliefs, and habits are all under its influence.

Your subconscious mind doesn't evaluate or question; it merely absorbs what you feed it. And that's where affirmations come into play.

Affirmations and the Subconscious Mind

Now, here's where the magic unfolds. When you repeat affirmations, you're essentially sending direct messages to your subconscious mind. It's akin to reprogramming a computer with a new set of instructions.

Your subconscious mind doesn't question; it simply accepts. So, when you repeat, "I am confident," your subconscious starts to believe it. As it believes it, you begin to act in ways that align with that belief. You stand taller, speak up, and face challenges with newfound confidence.

The Science Behind Affirmations

But it's not all magic; there's science at play here. When you affirm positive statements, you stimulate neural pathways in your brain. This is known as neuroplasticity – your brain's ability to change based on your thoughts and experiences.

Each time you affirm something positive, your brain releases those delightful feel-good chemicals like dopamine. This reduces stress, amplifies motivation, and enhances your overall sense of well-being. Think of it as a spa day for your brain.

The Sweet Twist: Subliminal Affirmations While You Sleep

Now, let's dive deeper into the power of listening to affirmations, especially when you're in dreamland. Subliminal affirmations while you sleep are like the hidden gems of personal growth. Here's why:

1. Deep Access: When you snooze, your conscious mind takes a break, and your subconscious is wide open for suggestions. Subliminal affirmations slip past any resistance or skepticism you might have during waking hours.

2. Hassle-Free: You don't need to set aside extra time for affirmations. Just play them softly while you drift into dreamland, and let your subconscious do the heavy lifting.

3. Amplified Effect: Combining subliminal affirmations with your slumber maximizes their impact. Your brain is super receptive, and these positive messages sink in even deeper.

Making Affirmations and Subliminals Work for You

Ready to embark on your affirmation and subliminal journey? Here are some tips:

1. Consistency is Key: Keep affirmations and subliminals a daily ritual, just like your morning coffee.

2. Visualize Success: As you listen, imagine your life aligning with the affirmations. Picture your goals coming to life, even in your dreams.

3. Believe in the Process: Approach affirmations and subliminals with an open heart and a sprinkle of belief. Trust that positive change is possible, even as you slumber.

4. Craft Your Playlist: Mix and match affirmations and subliminals that resonate with your unique dreams.

Check out my 222 Recorded Affirmations and FREE Subliminals Today

don’t be like negative nelly

Negative Nelly sees the glass as half-empty, but to be fair, she's probably spilled half of it on her shirt. So, if you find yourself stuck with a Negative Nelly, just remember - she's not a villain, she's just a little rain cloud in human form

Negative Nelly, or someone who is consistently negative, can be a challenge to be around. Whether it's a friend, family member, or coworker, their negative attitude can bring down the mood and energy of those around them. Here are some tips on how to deal with a Negative Nelly:

Set boundaries - It's important to set boundaries with Negative Nelly to protect your own mental health and well-being. You may need to limit your time around them or avoid certain topics of conversation that tend to be negative.

Practice empathy - Try to put yourself in Negative Nelly's shoes and understand that their negativity may stem from personal struggles or challenges. Practice empathy and offer support or encouragement where you can.

Reframe their negativity - While it may be challenging, try to reframe Negative Nelly's negativity into a positive mindset. For example, if they're constantly complaining about their job, encourage them to focus on the positive aspects or find a solution to improve their situation.

Encourage positivity - Encourage Positive Polly behavior by leading by example. Share positive experiences, express gratitude, and focus on solutions rather than problems. Positive energy can be contagious and may help change Negative Nelly's outlook.

Address the issue - If Negative Nelly's behavior is impacting your mental health or relationships, it may be necessary to address the issue directly. Have a conversation with them, express how their behavior is impacting you, and offer support and resources to help them shift their mindset.

Dealing with Negative Nelly can be challenging, but it's important to set boundaries, practice empathy, reframe their negativity, encourage positivity, and address the issue when necessary. By focusing on solutions and positive energy, you can create a healthier and happier environment for yourself and those around you.

Not only are Negative Nellys unpleasant to be around but they can drain you quickly.  I have a friend who is the perfect example of one and she has the ability to drain me if I spend time around her.  It doesn't matter how positive and upbeat you are it is difficult to maintain under a constant barrage of negativity.  I suggest if you are unable to direct someone's attention to something positive that you disengage with them rather than poisoning yourself with their negativity.  Change your vibration and life by changing your thoughts.  Say to yourself hourly "Isn't life wonderful?"  Watch it change!

HOW TO GET A MAN TO COMMIT

Trying to force a man to commit is like herding cats. Men and commitment can be complex. Communication is key to ensure both partners are on the same page and respect each other's boundaries and pace. Here are some tips to get him to commit organically and if that doesn’t work click on the book link at the bottom of the page. ;-)

When it comes to relationships, there's often pressure to define and label the relationship, and to make commitments. However, forcing commitment can be a mistake that leads to disappointment and heartbreak. Here are some reasons why it's important to not force commitment:

It can create pressure and anxiety - Forcing commitment can create pressure and anxiety in the relationship, which can cause tension and stress. It's important to allow the relationship to evolve naturally, without putting undue pressure on yourself or your partner.

It can lead to dishonesty - If you or your partner feel pressured to make a commitment before you're ready, it can lead to dishonesty and resentment. It's important to be honest about your feelings and intentions, and to allow the relationship to progress naturally.

It can be a sign of compatibility issues - If you or your partner are not on the same page about commitment, it could be a sign of compatibility issues. It's important to have open and honest conversations about your expectations and goals for the relationship, and to make sure you're both on the same page.

It can lead to settling - Forcing commitment can lead to settling for a partner who may not be the best fit for you in the long run. It's important to take the time to get to know your partner and make sure that you're both compatible and share the same values and goals.

It can stifle growth - Relationships are dynamic and constantly evolving. Forcing commitment can stifle growth and prevent the relationship from evolving naturally. It's important to allow the relationship to grow and develop at its own pace, without putting unnecessary pressure on it.

Forcing commitment in a relationship can have negative consequences. It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner, and to allow the relationship to evolve naturally. By taking the time to get to know your partner and allowing the relationship to progress naturally, you can build a strong and healthy relationship that stands the test of time.

You can use my secret technique Pussy Whip – Proven, Powerful “Secret” Technique Controls Your Man to get him to chase you and want commitment and it works much better than you handcuffing him to you and your relationship. Try a new tactic on him using the power of your mind and my secret technique and you will see a definite change in his attitude toward you and your future together. It’s never too late!

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DOES REMOTE SEDUCTION WORK?

Let's be real, being sexy remotely is like having a secret weapon in your relationship arsenal - it keeps things spicy and exciting, and gives you something to look forward to when you finally get to be together in person.

What is remote seduction?  It is a way to attract your man, or any man, without any contact whatsoever.  All it takes is the power of your mind, the ability to visualize and a little practice.  I wrote the book "How to Make Him BURN With Desire...Only For You and it explains in detail how to use remote seduction to attract your man.  The book uses a unique technique that assists you in attracting your "target".  Your target can be someone you know, an "ex", a stranger, a co-worker....absolutely anyone.

What is unique about my technique is that you will actually call your mate to you before beginning your remote seduction visualization.  Thoughts are very powerful and while most people don't realize it they have the power to attract many, many things into their lives.  One of them is a mate.  When you use the power of remote seduction your target will be attracted to you and drawn to you without you ever speaking to him.  He will think the ideas and thoughts are his own but they are thoughts that you have intentionally placed there with the power of your imagination and intention.

For instance, if there is a co-worker that you desire and he has paid no attention to you this would be the perfect technique for you.  Flirting is so obvious and it takes your power away from you to seem so available and be the initiator.  It is best to sit back, use the visualization and make him chase you.  And he will be unable to keep you off his mind.  He will find that he is drawn to you so powerfully that he is literally unable to resist.  You can be friendly, nice, cute, funny but not assertive.  He will be putty in your hands.  An "ex"....well he is toast when you use the technique because you have been intimate and already know how to push his buttons.  This is a great way to get him back and take back your power, especially if he was the one who broke off the relationship.

How to do it?  First, you need to be in a relaxed state of mind.  I MP3s to guide you and assist you in reaching the optimum state of mind.  Then you need to call him to you using the technique I write about in my books.  It gets his attention and he will immediately feel a strong and powerful thought and presence of you when you use it.  Next, you will visualize all kinds of intimacy with him.  Many readers have reported themselves having a pleasurable and spontaneous orgasm when they use the RS technique.  It is truly as if you are having a sexual encounter.  He feels it, too.  The power and intensity can be so strong and profound that it will feel real to you both.

What else happens?  Well ladies, when you use the remote seduction technique men from your past will feel it and frequently contact you, men that are not targeted will be drawn to you, actually men from everywhere will be at your beck and call.  Why?  As you raise your frequency and vibration you will attract men like you've never attracted them before.  It is as if you have the inner and outer glow that is achieved usually only after a sexual encounter.  You will have your choice of any man you desire by learning this unique way to seduce a man. If you want to attract a partner this is the absolute best way to get his attention. Plus, you can secretly do it 24/7 and no one will ever know. ;-)