Janet Gogerty's Blog: Sandscript - Posts Tagged "social-media"
Sandscript Stumped
When things go wrong....
Things didn’t work long before I came into contact with computers. The stapler runs out of staples with only one more bundle of papers to go. Even if I manage to open it up and put the new strip of staples in something will jam as soon as I press the heel of my hand down.
We had a family heirloom hand sewing machine 'Jones, as supplied to Her Majesty Queen Alexandra'. Whether the wife of Edward VII used her sewing machine I have no idea; but ours was old and loyal, blessed with a few simple operations. I turned the handle and the needle sped up and down stitching clothes for my doll; but if the spool ran out or the threads jammed I was instantly infuriated with the machine and my father was the only one who could sort it. When we started sewing lessons at senior school we were confronted with treadles and electric machines. I never mastered the treadle action, let alone the sewing part of the procedure. I would pretend to be busy until an electric machine was available. I have sewn many things since; if my electric machine is running smoothly I can make anything (as long as it doesn’t involve button holes or fancy stitches), but if the fabric puckers or binds itself to the machine I am completely stumped.
If asked to be the first to arrive and open up a meeting place I know for sure the key will not fit, or the door will remain shut tight. Sometimes I conquer the lock, pull, push, jiggle a half turn, but more likely entry will only be gained when other people start to turn up and try for themselves, the door swinging open readily.
Perhaps I am not the only one for whom thing go wrong. A long queue at the one open till in WH Smith; the other assistants are busy trying to direct reluctant shoppers to the scan your own machines or helping them when that robotic woman says 'Item not recognised, unbagged item…. ' Computers in various forms are unavoidable.
For a long time I had no reason to be involved with computers, but writing and social media sucked me in to this love hate relationship. Unlike staplers and sewing machines computers are sentient beings; they know when you need to send an urgent e-mail or print an important document.
The digital world of scanners and printers was preceded in the work place by photocopiers and before that machines such as The Gestetner. I dreaded being left alone with this mystery of rolling drums, scent of chemicals and ink which printed too faintly or leaked in the wrong places. But it was still mechanical and not totally beyond comprehension.
Computers purposely lull you into a false sense of security, the World at your finger tips, documents easily altered, unlike the bad old days of typewriters. Then things start to go wrong. You log into Facebook, but instead of pictures of your friends and cute kittens there are only blank squares waiting to be filled in while the tiny blue circle goes round and round…. You sign into your e-mail account and see you have six messages, but it won’t let you into your In Box. The lay person has no idea if the problem lies with their mouse, their computer, a real rodent gnawing at the Virgin cable, or if the World Wide Web has been switched off by North Korea. It’s all magic to us. My usual answer is irrational rage if I’m on my own or to yell for Cyberspouse. He does not believe that the computer bears personal malevolence towards me or anyone else and remains calm in a crisis, sorts the problem, only to be recalled minutes later when the paper jams in the printer…
Things didn’t work long before I came into contact with computers. The stapler runs out of staples with only one more bundle of papers to go. Even if I manage to open it up and put the new strip of staples in something will jam as soon as I press the heel of my hand down.
We had a family heirloom hand sewing machine 'Jones, as supplied to Her Majesty Queen Alexandra'. Whether the wife of Edward VII used her sewing machine I have no idea; but ours was old and loyal, blessed with a few simple operations. I turned the handle and the needle sped up and down stitching clothes for my doll; but if the spool ran out or the threads jammed I was instantly infuriated with the machine and my father was the only one who could sort it. When we started sewing lessons at senior school we were confronted with treadles and electric machines. I never mastered the treadle action, let alone the sewing part of the procedure. I would pretend to be busy until an electric machine was available. I have sewn many things since; if my electric machine is running smoothly I can make anything (as long as it doesn’t involve button holes or fancy stitches), but if the fabric puckers or binds itself to the machine I am completely stumped.
If asked to be the first to arrive and open up a meeting place I know for sure the key will not fit, or the door will remain shut tight. Sometimes I conquer the lock, pull, push, jiggle a half turn, but more likely entry will only be gained when other people start to turn up and try for themselves, the door swinging open readily.
Perhaps I am not the only one for whom thing go wrong. A long queue at the one open till in WH Smith; the other assistants are busy trying to direct reluctant shoppers to the scan your own machines or helping them when that robotic woman says 'Item not recognised, unbagged item…. ' Computers in various forms are unavoidable.
For a long time I had no reason to be involved with computers, but writing and social media sucked me in to this love hate relationship. Unlike staplers and sewing machines computers are sentient beings; they know when you need to send an urgent e-mail or print an important document.
The digital world of scanners and printers was preceded in the work place by photocopiers and before that machines such as The Gestetner. I dreaded being left alone with this mystery of rolling drums, scent of chemicals and ink which printed too faintly or leaked in the wrong places. But it was still mechanical and not totally beyond comprehension.
Computers purposely lull you into a false sense of security, the World at your finger tips, documents easily altered, unlike the bad old days of typewriters. Then things start to go wrong. You log into Facebook, but instead of pictures of your friends and cute kittens there are only blank squares waiting to be filled in while the tiny blue circle goes round and round…. You sign into your e-mail account and see you have six messages, but it won’t let you into your In Box. The lay person has no idea if the problem lies with their mouse, their computer, a real rodent gnawing at the Virgin cable, or if the World Wide Web has been switched off by North Korea. It’s all magic to us. My usual answer is irrational rage if I’m on my own or to yell for Cyberspouse. He does not believe that the computer bears personal malevolence towards me or anyone else and remains calm in a crisis, sorts the problem, only to be recalled minutes later when the paper jams in the printer…
Sandscript Off Line
SERVER NOT FOUND, words guaranteed to strike dread in the hearts of anyone expecting to go on line in the next few seconds. When I saw those words I tried every device in the house, only to get the same answer. I did not need to go on the internet, it was a catching up with housework day. At least we hadn’t had a power cut; electricity not WiFi was all that was needed to work the washing machine, vacuum cleaner and most importantly the radio, the only companion that makes chores bearable.
So why was I experiencing medium levels of stress, anxiety and restlessness? First cause was the question Why? Obviously the Internet works by magic, but what had broken the spell and would the magic ever return?
Second worry; I was due to Skype family in Australia early the next morning.
Third problem; I needed to update my website with the next episode of the serial.
Finally came the hollow panic: what was I missing while off line? Would I be the last relative to put a sad emoticon on Facebook if a baby wasn’t well or if someone was in casualty? Were there any important e-mails?
There was a time when I wasn’t on Facebook or Skype, further back I didn’t have an e-mail address. There is a telephone in the house attached to a land line, which at some stage beams up to a satellite. I could just phone Australia. Anybody could phone me if there was an emergency. I could get on with writing my novel on Microsoft Word, if I ever finished the housework. So why was I still anxious?
When the long suffering Cyberspouse came home from work he did not realise the gravity of the situation, commenting calmly that Virgin was probably ‘down’. However, he decided he would unplug the router and plug it in again. Instantly, messages and Whatsapps pinged into our mobile phones. Facebook lit up the large screen of my desk top computer. I was delighted, proof indeed that the internet works by magic. The way to restore it is by a magic spell that I cannot perform; the internet has to be switched off and on by someone who is not a technophobe and who is totally uninterested in social media.
I was late cooking dinner that evening because I had to check all my multi media connections. And what had I missed? I was in time to see sunset pictures from Facebook photographer friends and to sign a petition to save a cow swimming in the harbour after escaping from a live export ship in Fremantle Port, Western Australia.
Of course I am not a Facebook Fanatic. After several years of being blissfully without a mobile phone I now have my first (third hand ) Smart phone and with it comes the security of knowing I can check Facebook while I am out to make sure I’m not missing anything. Also I can take photographs with my phone and post them, so that Facebook friends do not miss anything I’m doing out in real life.
Read about what can go wrong on Facebook in two stories in my anthology Dark and Milk ‘You Have One Friend’ and ‘Friend Request’
https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Milk-Jane...
Catch up with the Friday Serial at my website
http://www.ccsidewriter.co.uk/chapter...
So why was I experiencing medium levels of stress, anxiety and restlessness? First cause was the question Why? Obviously the Internet works by magic, but what had broken the spell and would the magic ever return?
Second worry; I was due to Skype family in Australia early the next morning.
Third problem; I needed to update my website with the next episode of the serial.
Finally came the hollow panic: what was I missing while off line? Would I be the last relative to put a sad emoticon on Facebook if a baby wasn’t well or if someone was in casualty? Were there any important e-mails?
There was a time when I wasn’t on Facebook or Skype, further back I didn’t have an e-mail address. There is a telephone in the house attached to a land line, which at some stage beams up to a satellite. I could just phone Australia. Anybody could phone me if there was an emergency. I could get on with writing my novel on Microsoft Word, if I ever finished the housework. So why was I still anxious?
When the long suffering Cyberspouse came home from work he did not realise the gravity of the situation, commenting calmly that Virgin was probably ‘down’. However, he decided he would unplug the router and plug it in again. Instantly, messages and Whatsapps pinged into our mobile phones. Facebook lit up the large screen of my desk top computer. I was delighted, proof indeed that the internet works by magic. The way to restore it is by a magic spell that I cannot perform; the internet has to be switched off and on by someone who is not a technophobe and who is totally uninterested in social media.
I was late cooking dinner that evening because I had to check all my multi media connections. And what had I missed? I was in time to see sunset pictures from Facebook photographer friends and to sign a petition to save a cow swimming in the harbour after escaping from a live export ship in Fremantle Port, Western Australia.
Of course I am not a Facebook Fanatic. After several years of being blissfully without a mobile phone I now have my first (third hand ) Smart phone and with it comes the security of knowing I can check Facebook while I am out to make sure I’m not missing anything. Also I can take photographs with my phone and post them, so that Facebook friends do not miss anything I’m doing out in real life.
Read about what can go wrong on Facebook in two stories in my anthology Dark and Milk ‘You Have One Friend’ and ‘Friend Request’
https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Milk-Jane...
Catch up with the Friday Serial at my website
http://www.ccsidewriter.co.uk/chapter...
Sandscript
I like to write first drafts with pen and paper; at home, in busy cafes, in the garden, at our beach hut... even sitting in a sea front car park waiting for the rain to stop I get my note book out. We
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