Kristen Strassel's Blog - Posts Tagged "the-real-werewives-of-alaska"
A Sneak Peek at Silver Fox!
“Hi, Daddy.” Fiona beamed at Landon.
“Daddy?” Fiona’s new friend jumped out from under her like she’d set him on fire. “Fox is…your dad?”
“Hi, sweetheart.” Landon’s voice was flat. “Yes, Tyler, that’s my daughter who offered to strip for you in a champagne bath. What did I tell you today at practice about making smart decisions?”
Sad that he was more of a father figure to this man I’d never laid eyes on before than to his own daughter. But that was what I’d come here to fix.
“Mom, did you bid on Dad?” Fiona asked, wrinkling her nose as she smoothed out her skirt. “Eeew.”
“Would you rather I bid on someone else?” For the first time since concocting this plan, I regretted it. My daughter’s emphatic declaration made it sound underhanded and dirty. Landon was the fox shifter, but I was the one using trickery to get what I wanted. I didn’t give her a chance to voice her opinion. “Now, tell your new friend that the striptease will have to wait until you turn eighteen.”
“Next week,” she reminded us, then turned to beam at Tyler. My daughter had absolutely no poker face, and the wheels were turning. “You can show me how Alaska Bloodhounds celebrate special occasions.”
I groaned. Compromise was the name of the game with Fiona. What the hell was I thinking, bringing my wild child to an all you can eat football player buffet a week before her eighteenth birthday? Right, I wanted to get her father involved in her life. And from the look on his face, the narrowed eyes, the steely glare zeroed in on the couch, my plan was so crazy it might just work.
“If you touch her, I’ll kill you,” Landon said.
“Come on, Fox, you don’t mean that.” Tyler’s voice had gone up at least an octave, but he didn’t shy away from Landon’s glare. There was something much more than mentorship going on here. These two were rivals.
Fantastic.
The realization glittered in Fiona’s eyes like starbursts.
“Dead.” Landon’s tone didn’t leave any room for discussion, and Tyler disappeared behind the curtain.
Fiona crossed her arms, the shine dissolving to a glare for both of us. “How come I’m in trouble for doing the same exact thing you just did?”
“Because you’re seventeen—”
“For like another minute.”
“And you crashed the show.” I turned to Tessa, who’d been a silent spectator to our family drama. “Sorry.”
“You signed Fiona up for The Real Werewives?” Landon roared. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“I didn’t.” Like he had any room to critique my parenting decisions. He made special appearances at the holidays that were convenient to him. He did not get to have an opinion right now. “I signed myself up for the show.”
Landon Fox was a man of few words, but he was never speechless. Until now.
“Daddy?” Fiona’s new friend jumped out from under her like she’d set him on fire. “Fox is…your dad?”
“Hi, sweetheart.” Landon’s voice was flat. “Yes, Tyler, that’s my daughter who offered to strip for you in a champagne bath. What did I tell you today at practice about making smart decisions?”
Sad that he was more of a father figure to this man I’d never laid eyes on before than to his own daughter. But that was what I’d come here to fix.
“Mom, did you bid on Dad?” Fiona asked, wrinkling her nose as she smoothed out her skirt. “Eeew.”
“Would you rather I bid on someone else?” For the first time since concocting this plan, I regretted it. My daughter’s emphatic declaration made it sound underhanded and dirty. Landon was the fox shifter, but I was the one using trickery to get what I wanted. I didn’t give her a chance to voice her opinion. “Now, tell your new friend that the striptease will have to wait until you turn eighteen.”
“Next week,” she reminded us, then turned to beam at Tyler. My daughter had absolutely no poker face, and the wheels were turning. “You can show me how Alaska Bloodhounds celebrate special occasions.”
I groaned. Compromise was the name of the game with Fiona. What the hell was I thinking, bringing my wild child to an all you can eat football player buffet a week before her eighteenth birthday? Right, I wanted to get her father involved in her life. And from the look on his face, the narrowed eyes, the steely glare zeroed in on the couch, my plan was so crazy it might just work.
“If you touch her, I’ll kill you,” Landon said.
“Come on, Fox, you don’t mean that.” Tyler’s voice had gone up at least an octave, but he didn’t shy away from Landon’s glare. There was something much more than mentorship going on here. These two were rivals.
Fantastic.
The realization glittered in Fiona’s eyes like starbursts.
“Dead.” Landon’s tone didn’t leave any room for discussion, and Tyler disappeared behind the curtain.
Fiona crossed her arms, the shine dissolving to a glare for both of us. “How come I’m in trouble for doing the same exact thing you just did?”
“Because you’re seventeen—”
“For like another minute.”
“And you crashed the show.” I turned to Tessa, who’d been a silent spectator to our family drama. “Sorry.”
“You signed Fiona up for The Real Werewives?” Landon roared. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“I didn’t.” Like he had any room to critique my parenting decisions. He made special appearances at the holidays that were convenient to him. He did not get to have an opinion right now. “I signed myself up for the show.”
Landon Fox was a man of few words, but he was never speechless. Until now.
Silver Fox Quarterbacks That Influenced Landon Fox
If you've been hanging around these parts, you've probably picked up on the fact I love football. In this house, football starts on Thursday night, is an all-day Sunday affair (from the NFL network pregame show to Sunday Night Football) and ends on Monday night. I'm completely bummed out that there's only one game left to the season and I plan to cope with the impending offseason by hanging out with the Alaska Bloodhounds.
Silver Fox is Landon Fox's book. We've already met Landon in Running Wild and Reindeer games, as the team alpha, veteran quarterback and star of the Bloodhounds. He literally won a standoff with an angry wolf pack with his star power alone. He's also 40 years old. Only a handful of quarterbacks have played into their forties.
Here are some of the ones that helped influence Landon's character:
4. Doug Flutie.
I'm a Boston girl of a certain age and Doug was one of my very first sports crushes. I religiously watched him play for Boston College and witnessed the Hail Mary pass as it happened. Yeah, I'm old as fuck. I was really disappointed with the NFL when Doug failed to be a thing that happened at first, and would watch the occasional Canadian Football League game when I'd happen upon it on ESPN. When Doug came back to the NFL, it was ALMOST enough to make me a Bills fan. I was even more thrilled when he was a Patriot for a minute. Doug retired when he was 43 and continues to be awesome.
Fun Doug fact: I got to do Doug's makeup! Yeah! It was for a show on the New England Sports Network, and I had to keep my fangirl in my back pocket.
3. Kurt Warner.
Kurt also didn't find his place in the NFL right away, playing in the Arena Football League and at one point, bagging groceries to supplement his football income. And then, as a backup quarterback, he stepped up and absolutely lit the St. Louis Rams on fire as the leader of The Greatest Show on Turf.
Fun Kurt fact: I was lucky enough to work for ESPN the week of Super Bowl 42 (don't make me pull out the roman numerals) in Phoenix. Can you say hashtag dream job? I was on call the day of the game, but they didn't call me. Honestly, I'm not sure I could've kept my fangirl in check enough to do touchups on the commentators. My assignment was The Mike Tirico Show. Kurt was an Arizona Cardinal at the time, and he kept showing up to our show! He is super handsome in person. Those helmets don't do everyone justice.
2. Brett Favre.
Brett is pretty much made of awesome. Brett had gone gray a lot earlier than the other guys on this list, and everyone had declared him ancient at forty. Even people who were forty, because as my friend Barbara said, "football years are totally different." What sticks with me the most is how much Brett loved the game, and how hard it was for him to walk away.
I have no fun Brett facts. I hate this more than I want to admit.
1. Tom Brady.
I'm well aware that you probably hate Tom Brady. But I'm going to tell you why I don't. Tom and I go way back to his rookie year, when my friend Sharon and I were at training camp, lamenting that the rookie was the only one hitting every pass in his drills. We didn't even know his name without looking at the roster. He was a fourth-string QB that year and didn't even dress for games. He didn't even stand on the sidelines with the team. He had a ticket to each game and watched from the stands. The next season, I was lucky enough to be at Tom's first game as a starter, the very first Brady-Manning Bowl. It was probably the most exciting game I've ever been to (because I was also at the game two weeks before when Drew Bledsoe took the hit that basically ended his Patriots career) because you could feel the shift from a team that was going nowhere to a team that had a shot. Tom's 40 feels a lot different than the other three guys on this list, maybe because he's younger than me.
Fun Tom facts: Tom parked next to me at a Patriots party in 2002 and we stood in line together to get into said party. I was far too dumbfounded to speak to him. Also, at some random game in Arizona, my friend and I somehow wound up going out on the field during the national anthem to hold up the flag. They had us go to the field through the visiting team's tunnel and stand on the sideline until it was time to go on the field. The players were all RIGHT THERE, in their uniforms with the game faces on. Holy crap was that AMAZING. Bonus fun fact: we also walked right by Emmett Smith.
/footballgeekery. For now.
Silver Fox is Landon Fox's book. We've already met Landon in Running Wild and Reindeer games, as the team alpha, veteran quarterback and star of the Bloodhounds. He literally won a standoff with an angry wolf pack with his star power alone. He's also 40 years old. Only a handful of quarterbacks have played into their forties.
Here are some of the ones that helped influence Landon's character:
4. Doug Flutie.
I'm a Boston girl of a certain age and Doug was one of my very first sports crushes. I religiously watched him play for Boston College and witnessed the Hail Mary pass as it happened. Yeah, I'm old as fuck. I was really disappointed with the NFL when Doug failed to be a thing that happened at first, and would watch the occasional Canadian Football League game when I'd happen upon it on ESPN. When Doug came back to the NFL, it was ALMOST enough to make me a Bills fan. I was even more thrilled when he was a Patriot for a minute. Doug retired when he was 43 and continues to be awesome.Fun Doug fact: I got to do Doug's makeup! Yeah! It was for a show on the New England Sports Network, and I had to keep my fangirl in my back pocket.
3. Kurt Warner.
Kurt also didn't find his place in the NFL right away, playing in the Arena Football League and at one point, bagging groceries to supplement his football income. And then, as a backup quarterback, he stepped up and absolutely lit the St. Louis Rams on fire as the leader of The Greatest Show on Turf.Fun Kurt fact: I was lucky enough to work for ESPN the week of Super Bowl 42 (don't make me pull out the roman numerals) in Phoenix. Can you say hashtag dream job? I was on call the day of the game, but they didn't call me. Honestly, I'm not sure I could've kept my fangirl in check enough to do touchups on the commentators. My assignment was The Mike Tirico Show. Kurt was an Arizona Cardinal at the time, and he kept showing up to our show! He is super handsome in person. Those helmets don't do everyone justice.
2. Brett Favre.
Brett is pretty much made of awesome. Brett had gone gray a lot earlier than the other guys on this list, and everyone had declared him ancient at forty. Even people who were forty, because as my friend Barbara said, "football years are totally different." What sticks with me the most is how much Brett loved the game, and how hard it was for him to walk away.I have no fun Brett facts. I hate this more than I want to admit.
1. Tom Brady.
I'm well aware that you probably hate Tom Brady. But I'm going to tell you why I don't. Tom and I go way back to his rookie year, when my friend Sharon and I were at training camp, lamenting that the rookie was the only one hitting every pass in his drills. We didn't even know his name without looking at the roster. He was a fourth-string QB that year and didn't even dress for games. He didn't even stand on the sidelines with the team. He had a ticket to each game and watched from the stands. The next season, I was lucky enough to be at Tom's first game as a starter, the very first Brady-Manning Bowl. It was probably the most exciting game I've ever been to (because I was also at the game two weeks before when Drew Bledsoe took the hit that basically ended his Patriots career) because you could feel the shift from a team that was going nowhere to a team that had a shot. Tom's 40 feels a lot different than the other three guys on this list, maybe because he's younger than me.Fun Tom facts: Tom parked next to me at a Patriots party in 2002 and we stood in line together to get into said party. I was far too dumbfounded to speak to him. Also, at some random game in Arizona, my friend and I somehow wound up going out on the field during the national anthem to hold up the flag. They had us go to the field through the visiting team's tunnel and stand on the sideline until it was time to go on the field. The players were all RIGHT THERE, in their uniforms with the game faces on. Holy crap was that AMAZING. Bonus fun fact: we also walked right by Emmett Smith.
/footballgeekery. For now.
