Benay Nordby's Blog

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens features a character well deserving of our emulation in the new year. He is unsung, appreciated only by Bob Cratchit. I refer to Fred, Scrooge's nephew. For it is Fred who remains ultimately optimistic, forgiving and loyal to his uncle, a miser who tells Fred he would rather see him in hell than dine with him, humbug. Still, Fred remembers Bob's family and asks about Tiny Tim. In Christmas future, he inquires and expresses freely his sorrow at Bob's grief and sends regards to Mrs. Cratchit. In the original text, Fred says "If I can be of any service to you, in any way, come to me," handing over his card. And when the contrite Scrooge enters Fred's home, reborn on Christmas Day, Fred takes his hand, shaking it heartily, fully accepting and welcoming this estranged relative into his home with no recriminations. May it be said of us, and all of us, that we offered hospitality, service and forgiveness in 2016.

When I lifted my favorite old cookbook from the shelf today, a bunch of 3x5 cards fell out. Each held my own handwriting and the year the menu was served. By far, the most menus were for Thanksgiving,ironically,since that is one menu that changes the least in this family. Snacks may change or a sidedish, but the perennial star is a fresh turkey stuffed and roasted. It always comes to the table whole. That's our style. I see by these tiny time capsules, that changes in the day come with the list of family members present and past who shared the feast. "Mom and Dad" I wrote, and the next year, just "Mom." "Evan away at college," "Eden home from school!" "Kirk in California." An aunt and uncle are regular guests until the year comes when they moved away. Four legged friends have always been in the mix, and one will be missing this year. A new set of paws will be under the table, an adoption rescue dog who will get his share of the turkey liver. He is at Eden and Stafford's new house where this Mom and Dad will be dining this year for the first time. They better give us some leftovers and the menu to take home.

Pro: It’s Friday. Con: It’s rainy. Pro: Snow in the mountains. Con: I don’t ski. Pro: Don’t have to be anywhere. Con: No place to go. Pro: November. Con: Christmas Advertising. Pro: Got money to spend. Con: Politicians want it. Pro: Our phone is broken! Con: Our phone is broken. Pro: Lots of food catalogues in the mail. Con: Delicious looking, tempting food catalogues in the mail. Pro: Got plenty of clothes, Con: I have too much laundry; Pro: I could go on a Christmas cruise. Con: I have nothing to wear. Pro: I would have incentive to shop early. Con: I don’t know what anybody wants. Pro: I can shop in Mexico! Con: Returns are brutal. Pro: The house will stay clean while I’m gone. Con: The Christmas decorations will be sad and lonely. Pro: I have decorations. Con: I have too much stuff. Pro: I don’t have to display everything every year. Pro: Everyone will be home. Con: None.

Son Kirk's formerly hairy face is clean shaven today as Men's Health Month gets a salute. Other guys are adding to their mystique with new facial hair. The object is to grow a mustache to highlight the fight against prostate and other cancers that affect men both young and old. My husband and brother-in-law were diagnosed in 2011. Both are cancer free after distinct treatments based on the variety of cells found. Like breast cancer, each case brings its own path of treatment. "WE" are cancer free fours years after surgery and radiation and hormone treatment. "WE" are grateful. Our kids are grateful.

My good friend's son aced his treatment for testicular cancer and now has a new baby on the way. Praise and thanks to God for leading us through and for inspired doctors and scientists who find the answers for saving lives.

Get your men to eat well, exercise and PAY ATTENTION to their bodies. Go for checkups. Live.

Daily food news hit a new low this morning with yet another attack on bacon as a "possible" carcinogen. It coincides with the annual dull parental advice on how to handle the kids and all that Halloween candy. I had to laugh when it was suggested parents switch the bag of candy for a Halloween gift sans sugar. I laughed because my parents could not have pried my candy from me with a crowbar. Like it's a burden for heaven's sake. Was there ever anything sweeter than FREE candy? My own bulging trick-or-treat bags were gleefully dumped out on my bed as soon as I got home, ready for inventory. A homemade popcorn ball was appreciated but I coveted the brand names. My sisters would bargain, trading less-loved treats for favorites. A missing Milky Way was evidence of parental theft for their own sweet teeth. But it was a fair trade.There was never a downer of a lesson about hurting our teeth or getting overly stimulated. What kid isn't stimulated by Halloween? My folks just let us enjoy our once-a-year jackpot they didn't have to buy. Halloween gifts? Give us a break.

What a week of heartache! Day by day I have suffered sadness for friends in mourning, friends facing illness. Mike, Best Man at our wedding 44 years ago, writes to tell the news of his wife’s passing. A dear friend
faces a cancer diagnosis. Another dies of ovarian cancer, too soon. So is this what people mean when they say growing older is not for sissies? I thought they were talking about our own aches and pains. Productive empathy--staying emotionally well and physically strong means we can remain steady for those in need of healing, whether ill or grieving. This is our reward. This is our privilege. God made us human to share the hurt.

Like the tide that surrounds our island coastline, our emotions are welling. And like the tides, they will ebb and we will see the shore again.

Working as an activity director years ago, I used to encourage assisted living residents to take a weekly bus drive in our natural Northwest landscape. It pleased me to escort people who valued each seasonal change and never tired of seeing their city. Contrast that with those who declined, saying "I've seen it all before."

This week I was a tourist in Seattle, seeing it illuminated through the eyes of four thousand awed out-of-towners meeting in the Washington State Convention Center. Under cloudless skies, a super moon appeared and with it, an eclipse! How's THAT for hospitality! Ferry rides to Bainbridge Island, receptions and tours at the aquarium, EMP, even the monorail ride, took on a patina that left me so proud to say "I live here."

Oh, the rains will come again, because God knows we need it. I won't mind getting out comfortable sweaters and warm socks because they feel so good. Changes in weather or landscape will be welcomed with fresh eyes.

Sing with me: "Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention." Worth mentioning is that I spent two decades of my younger adult life 50+ pounds overweight. That is regrettable. I'm still overweight, but weekly weight loss meetings have helped me drop three pant sizes and improved my health, which is more vital than ever.

Healthy eating goals, now front and center, have seen me through a knee replacement and rehab without regaining. I accepted an invitation from my son to a Mariners game, on an otherwise busy day. Thirty pounds and one bum knee ago, I might have said no to that stadium walk. Not now.The guards scanned my metal knee and in I went, up and up. Having the energy and attitude to keep cool and keep up was crucial to a great day complete with a hot dog and frozen yogurt! As I have learned, the need to be a fit mother doesn't end when school activities are done. Our three young adults are on the move through life. I want to keep on, keeping up, with no more regrets.

I'm off to a sweet celebration at Green River Community College in Auburn, WA tomorrow. The campus is noting 50 years of GRCC, five decades of success educating students, improving lives and fostering careers.It has opened its doors to students from around the world and sent the best of our uniquely American system of community colleges back to their own countries.

I was proud to be appointed to the board in 1977 when then Gov. Dixy Lee Ray was seeking women of all ages to serve the State of Washington on college governing boards. At only 26 years of age, I found myself on a 5-member board responsible for hiring the president, approving the budget and granting tenure to faculty. It introduced me to a team of players with vast life experience and judgment. I did my best to absorb as much knowledge as I could in order to represent my part of the college district. Our board steered the campus into the computer age. And I did it for fourteen years. Now I get to celebrate being part of that history. What a privilege! Like I have written before--continue the harvest.

Yes, it is Friday, and this blog is supposed to be published on Wednesday. What happened? September. Even without kids going back to school, the new month signals the re-boot of volunteer opportunities and, well, a last grab at enjoying a summer day. Time to take the ferry to Seattle and walk through Pike Place Market. Tourists are thinning, but what is more fun than watching people from around the world take their photo in front of the first Starbucks? The fresh flower displays beckon my camera and buskers catch my ear. Taking our daughter, Eden, to dinner at Ponti's on the ship canal, capped the day with good spirits in my heart and in my wine glass. I love catching up with her young life,
supporting her plans.

As a little child, I thought the first month of the year WAS September, so changed was our routine. Now the month is a comfortable settling into more familiar weather for us Northwestern folk. It also signals a celebration of the best September ever--when our first child, Evan, was born. Nothing has ever been the same, September in, September out.