April Oglesbee's Blog

1. This is what writing looks like 70% of the time. It's a lot of staring at stuff and making weird faces because you're thinking really, really hard. Also...sometimes you talk to yourself as you work through some stuff...for the characters, of course.
2. It puts the snacks in front of the writer. SNACKS...IN FRONT OF THE WRITER! A key to any successful writing bout is feeding our brain (and stomach). Writer's block and antsy-ness can be staved off by simply figuring out something to munch on (or drink).
3. There is no "inspiration." Writing is a skill like anything else. Writing fiction does take a certain amount of inspiration, but it's the kind that you can inspire within yourself. If you wait for the muse, you never write the book.
4. Inspiration comes from the weirdest sources. Think that music mix you put together is the key to getting your book going? Maybe. But sometimes it's the most random event or thing you can encounter. I once figured out a difficult plot point because my roomate was watching an episode of Supernatural about scary clowns.

...the books, and the plot point, had nothing to do with Supernatural and/or clowns.
5. It's not how much you write; it's that you write. I think all writers break this rule occasionally, but writing every day is probably one of the most important things you can do. How you measure what you write is up to you. Some days if I can write a paragraph, I'm thrilled. Other days I write huge chunks, chapters and chapters worth, of the story in one go. The point is that if you aren't consistent, less and less gets written (usually). Keep the word train going (even if it's slowly going).

I turned 31 this year. I was feeling rather reflective, per normal on my birthday, but it struck me that maybe I should reflect a little more deeply. 

I maintain adamantly that your 30s are far better than your 20s. However, there's always that moment of "crap…what happened to my time?" As someone who has struggled with depression, social anxiety, shyness (not really the same thing if you weren't sure), obesity, and a general search for a meaningful purpose in life…let's just say I have no problem searching for the "more" in many situations. In more recent years I've tried to focus on the positive, mindful living if you will. But on your birthday (or the days leading up to it)…sometimes that just does not work.

My friends and family are great. They've showered me with lots of birthday love and cheer. But one particular message the morning of my birthday, from my amazingly wonderful and perceptive sister, reminded me that I should count my blessings because there are more than a few to count. So in that spirit:

31 Things in 31 Years (or crap I did I didn't know I could do--you should give it a shot)


I'm kind. Okay, I'm not perfect. I'm really not. But I try to be kind to any and all that need it. Not just when I feel like it. I think it's made my life better. I've met people and gotten to know people I wouldn't have otherwise. Surprisingly, just like a lot of that new age malarky stuff says, it made me a better person who genuinely felt better about me, too. I became a writer. Now, the truth is, I've always been a writer. I just re-focused my actions and goals into becoming a romance novel writer (and blog writer). It's one of those things you put on your bucket list and don't imagine will happen. Kind of like "Lose 30 pounds in two weeks."I became a business owner. I think this one surprised me more than it did anybody else in my life. Never once did I think to myself (outside of my daydreams of being one of Nora Roberts' awesome characters), "Gee, I want to own my own business." You would have had better luck hearing me say something like "I would like to burn all of my books, please." Surprisingly…it's been amazing fun. Apparently, I enjoy being the captain of a ship. Who knew?I moved halfway around the world without my family. I lived in Taiwan for nearly four years. My mother was convinced I was running away from home while my father was convinced I was going through a rebellious stage (in my late twenties). But there you have it. I did it. And I loved it. Even with all of the struggles involved, I loved Asia. I miss it every day. I'm so glad I had that experience (and hope to experience it again someday).I moved back around the world on a wish and a prayer. I left Taiwan and moved home to GA. I survived that decision and process. Even more interesting, at least to me, is that I did it relatively calmly considering my propensity for wanting to be in control of things and doing so in the most unplanned way ever. I was/am a teacher. I never really expected to want to or even like to teach (despite what my father said from the moment I was born). It has its moments, but I've loved being a teacher to my college students as well as my high school students. The best teaching moments have been, not when I'm standing in front of a class, but when I'm having a conversation with them about life and the world. People surprise you. They teach me as much as I teach them. That's the coolest part of teaching.I lost weight. I was once over 300lbs. I'm also 5'll, so that may not seem like much, but it was. It was an incredibly hard process that I will never forget. It keeps me honest.
I took up running. I hated running as a kid because it was hard and embarassing. When one is overweight, having your wobbly bits flying around wildly is not really fun or admirable in your own mind. But it was always a dream of mine (despite my being convinced it was just evil and painful anyway). I wanted to do it because I coudn't then. After I lost the majority of my weight, I still walked all the time. One day...I just decided to run. And then I kept running. It's still painful.
I ran a half-marathon...twice. About three months into my new running habit, I was asked if I wanted to run a half-marathon. I thought, "Oh, cool! Yeah!" I wasn't sure I could do it. I asked if I could do it. They said I could. They failed to mention it was up a mountain. I failed to realize I hadn't trained nearly enough. I still did it. I still finished.
I met one of my writing idols. Actually I met a bunch! Last year I met Nora Roberts, Lynsay Sands, Vicki Lewis Thompson, and a host of others at RWA. Talk about inspiring. For me, it was like getting to meet Superman, Batman, and Ironman all in the same room.
I do not apologize for the things I like. One of my biggest achievements as I get older, I think, is that I've stopped apologizing for what I like. I've stopped making excuses for it. Yes. I love pink, silly hair bows, and Asian dramas. What's your point?
I do not force others to like the things I like. While I don't put up with the crap people give me about my interests or style, I also don't care to force my own on others. Who cares? I like what I like and they like what they like. Most of the time, life is much more interesting when you surround yourself with people who are different. You learn things.
I'm learning Japanese...slowly. Very slowly. This is a dream of mine that I'm determined to accomplish. I'd also like to throw Korean in there, but Japanese is my thing.
I sang in public. I was once spontaneously drafted into an orchestral and choral concert in Beijing to sing a Gospel solo in the Forbidden city. I hit a high C. Twice. Yes. It did make me want to wet myself.
I sang in public again...in front of strangers who weren't expecting me to sing in public. In an endeavor to recreate situations in real life that resembled situations in romantic movies or books, I decided to sing in a train station tunnel to see what would happen aka if I could be the heroine. No hero swooped in to fall in love with me, but I did get people stopping to listen. I also almost threw up.
I invented a pseudonym so I could write spicy books. I write as Autumn Stark. It's fun. In an effort to protect my father's gentlemanly ways, I decided to use a pseudonym.
I told everyone my pseudonym name. I didn't hide it for long. Three months in and I told my mother. What can I say? I was proud of them.
I ate duck feet. Disgusting as they sound. There's nothing like sucking weirdly textured meat off of toes. Just bleh.
I ate stinky tofu. Even worse than it sounds. I knew not the meaning of the word "rancid" until I ate this. Disclaimer: I understand that it is an acquired taste and is celebrated as delicious in Taiwan. More for them.
I ate a raw squid and nearly choked it up in front of a half dozen people. It was horrible. I was trying to be polite and they were all watching me...it was horrible. It was slimy and cold and limp. Just picture the worst thing you can along those lines in your mouth and trying to slide it down your throat and you'll understand my gag reflex. Then picture yourself surrounded by guffawing people that you are trying to save grace with. "No, no..its...uh tentacles were stuck in my throat...it was great. Really." *supress gag reflex*
I am surviving an autoimmune disease. Several actually. That's how they roll. They're a gang most of the time. Every day, on some level, I fight exhaustion and pain that won't ever really go away. But...I don't care! It sucks. Some days are worse than others. I have my fair share of pity parties, but I try not to let it interfere with my life. I'm stubborn like that. FYI, I ran both of my half-marathons during a flare-up of my AI. Take that, stupid body.
I've been to Japan. It was the light of my life. I visited Osaka, Nara, and some of the countryside. I CANNOT wait to get back. It's the home of my heart. Also, I realllllllly miss these delicious Pino ice cream bon bons they had.
I've seen the Great Wall of China. See my earlier post on this. It was epically awesome. It was also cold. Very cold in February in Beijing. PS, it's a wall. It is very long and it goes both ways. Still very cool for a giant, old wall.
I may or may not know what a Scotsman wears under his kilt. I've been to Scotland twice and one of those times attended a dinner where there was some traditional dancing...and yes, I did see under his kilt.
I told a random stranger I loved them. This was a part of my "Romance in Real Life" series. I had a friend write "I Love You" in chinese on a piece of paper and then gave it to a poor, unsuspecting 7-11 (I miss you 7-11) employee. He thought it was hilarious. Related to that I once tried to hit on a Family Mart stock boy using only a discussion of milk for context (also related to that particular challenge). It was bizarre and so out of my comfort zone...yet hilarious and fun.
I danced in public--repeatedly. Another challenge item. I danced like the town idiot. A waltz. In broad daylight of an upscale mall's entry area. I ended up dancing with an English-speaking high school student. Of all the luck.
I fell in public--on purpose. My first challenge item. It was actually really hard to do! One, it's hard to pretend fall. Especially when you bruise like a peach. Two, people are embarassed for you, so they try to pretend they don't notice you. Figured out that a trip was for more effective to get "saved."
I learned how to order an iced latte and a tea in Chinese. This was actually pretty hard and anxiety-inducing. I did it though! And I think I was mostly understandable. The people at Starbucks in Taiwan loved me...though they called me "Apple," not April.
I tell people my dreams with complete honesty. An interesting experiment: tell people exactly what your dreams are and what you intend to do with your life. Most of the time they laugh and think you're joking. It amuses me. I, myself, have chosen the honest path. I've found two reactions: 1) the one I just described and 2) surprising acceptance and support. I guess people like to cheer on a seeming underdog.
I quit Ice Cream. Again. And then again. Ice Cream is my kryptonite. I am always in constant battle with it. I love it, but it does me no good! Even when I give in occasionally...I always fight back!
I never believe anything is impossible. This is probably the most important thing I've learned in my 31 years so far. Nothing is impossible. Improbable? Yes. Unlikely? Yes. Incredibly difficult to attain? Yes. Sometimes it's about adjusting your goals to fit your environment and circumstances, but sometimes it's just about committing to an idea and staying the course. There are plenty of people in the world willing to tell you that you can't; you have to be the one to tell yourself that you can. It moves mountains. Trust me. Belief is a powerful tool.

1) Your life begins in your twenties.
This one seems like an obvious fallacy. First of all, what exactly are we measuring here? If anything begins in your 20s its probably liver poisoning or debt. On a more serious note, I think that everyone suffers from this misconception at some point (usually our 20s). And suffer is the right word. I'm not long out of my 20s (T-minus 10 days until I'm 31), but it's been kind of fun to look back at my 20s and realize it was easily full of the most fumbling, frustrating, and fizzling moments of my life. Your 20s are all about trying to get your bearings, and the ship is always rocking. My 30s so far have been about finally having my sea legs under me. 2) You'll never be as thin as you are in your 20s.
Lies. All lies. I know many people gain weight the older they get, and that metabolism slowing down thing is no joke, but, at 31, I'm the fittest (and thinnest) I've ever been. To be fair (or unfair as it was), I grew up chunky, chubby, or whatever other word you might want to use for it. By the time I was 21, I was morbidly obese. Despite what some might think, it had nothing to do with diet and exercise. I spent my entire life up to that point focusing on just that. Then, miracle of miracles, I was blessed with the ability to have lap-band surgery. And that's all she wrote. The point here is that in my 20s I grabbed my chance at health and I ran with it. I've never once regretted it and every year I get older takes me closer and closer to being even more fit and healthy. I went from being over 300lbs to running to half-marathons. In that order. You do the math. 3) Your 20s are when you find yourself.
I can't 100% disagree with this, but I would alter it a little. I would say your 20s are when you run around trying to find yourself. I'm not sure all of us (or maybe any of us) quite catch ourselves. Your 20s are when you try out all kinds of personalities, beliefs, interests, potential mates, and even food. It's been in my 30s that I've really hit my groove. My 30s have been the point in my life that have synthesized all that I found out about myself in my 20s. 4) If you don't get married in your 20s, you never will.
Pfffffft. Just pffffffft I say. I can't even count the examples of how this is wrong. One of the great things about loving Asian culture (and having lived there) is that there are so many great "role models" for a woman in her 30s (or 40s…or 50s) finding love and starting a family. The truth is I'm really glad I didn't get married in my twenties. Don't get me wrong--I think there are a lot of people who are happily married in their 20s. I'm sure that if I had met the right person, I wouldn't have even questioned the choice. But I'm glad I didn't. The things I went through, had to experience, and the experiences I was able to have…I'm not sure I would have been on that same path. My life would look so different. Though I suppose you could say the same about almost anything. 5) You have to know what you want in life before your 20s are over.
I heard this about college in my teens. It was a crock then, too. Sure, there are advantages to knowing what you want as soon as possible, but knowing what you want is not always an easy answer to have. Sometimes you have try some things out before they stick. I don't see my 20s as a waste. Not at all. But I did do a lot of "testing." In my 20s I had every job from a barista to a high school teacher in a foreign country to an on-again, off-again university writing instructor. Oh yeah, and I dabbled in writing. Never once in my 20s did I ever think that writing or publishing was a real possibility. Then I realized that it was more of a possibility for me than any other job I had tried. So…in the words of Gus Portokalos…there you go.

I recently had a conversation that spanned several of my friends in several different occassions. The conclusion I came to was both amusing and interesting to me AS a romance novel writer. I decided it was time to confess and come clean with the world at large.

I, 5'11 April, have a thing for guys who are 5'7.

It's true. Try not to gasp. The tragedy is of epic proportions. Someone should begin drafting a Greek play about it.

Now, really, I think this is a topic that doesn't get nearly enough attention. After years in Asia and various conversations with friends and acquaintances of all nationalities and cultures, I find myself baffled. 

What's with this height thing anyway?

 I'll tell you right now I have never once dated anyone taller than myself. For starters, it's hard to meet that requirement in the first place. In the second place, I tend to find personality attractive over the level at which I have to crick my neck at someone. It's not as though I go looking for guys shorter than myself, it's just that all the guys I find unbearably attractive happen to be shorter than myself for the most part. 


I've heard all of the arguments about this, by the way. From where I'm towering, height is not an issue. If anything, I've found that men are less likely to ask me out if I'm taller than them. It's truly tragic. So I asked myself, "Self? Do you think there are other women out there who find shorter men just as sexy as other men and desperately wish they could date one?" Well? What's the answer do you think? I don't see this scenario much in fiction (one fantastic exception is a Japanese manga called Love*Com or Lovely Complex which I keep hoping is a prophecy of some sort for me ala that guy from Supernatural who wrote novels about the Winchester boys). Would you read a romance novel where the heroine was taller than the hero?
Well, if anybody's listening…here are my 5'7 crushes from whom I would gladly welcome an invitation for a date:

Sakurai Sho

Josh Hutcherson

Robert Downey, Jr.

So one of my day jobs is teaching writing to newbie college students. My job is not that hard at this point. I've been doing it for years. What usually starts to wear on you is the monotony of hundreds of papers on the same stuff that nobody is interested in anyway. So...what do I do?

I teach the boring stuff...and assign papers on things that interest me. Mostly because I do so enjoy torturing students with forced cultural growth. 

One such recent endeavor to spice up my grading life involved one of my favorite Korean dramas, Secret Garden. I was not at all surprised to hear "Kim Joo Won is an asshole!" and "I love him!" in the same sentence. I often suffer a similar dichotomous reaction myself. For me, it all goes back to Darcy. We love those guys who seem like jerks, but just need a little tender loving understanding, right? Especially when they're rich. Or, you know, poor. We love the down and out guy who could do so much if only, too. 

But I do know this as well...If I met Kim Joo Won or Darcy in my everyday life, I would probably consign them to the depths of purgatory and mutter potential comebacks to myself in the shower for days. I would not fall at their feet in the throws of love. 

So, like I ask my students, what in the hell are we doing? Why are we writing and reading these stories so voraciously? What is it about these guys? What is it about us?

What do you think? Who's your favorite A-zzle from fiction? Are you viva la Tramp (Disney, peeps...keep your mind semi-outta the gutter) or viva la Darcy?

.goodreadsGiveawayWidget { color: #555; font-family: georgia, serif; font-weight: normal; text-align: left; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; background: white; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget img { padding: 0 !important; margin: 0 !important; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget a { padding: 0 !important; margin: 0; color: #660; text-decoration: none; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget a:visted { color: #660; text-decoration: none; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget a:hover { color: #660; text-decoration: underline !important; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget p { margin: 0 0 .5em !important; padding: 0; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidgetEnterLink { display: block; width: 150px; margin: 10px auto 0 !important; padding: 0px 5px !important; text-align: center; line-height: 1.8em; color: #222; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; border: 1px solid #6A6454; border-radius: 5px; font-family:arial,verdana,helvetica,sans-serif; background-image:url(https://www.goodreads.com/images/layo... background-repeat: repeat-x; background-color:#BBB596; outline: 0; white-space: nowrap; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidgetEnterLink:hover { background-image:url(https://www.goodreads.com/images/layo... color: black; text-decoration: none; cursor: pointer; } Goodreads Book Giveaway How to Date Japanese Idols by Cilia Jaspers

Giveaway ends November 05, 2013.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win
Check it out! 
In just a few days, on November 5, my newest book with JW Ashley (as Cilia Jaspers) will hit the presses! An Idol Husband is the second book in the series, so, to celebrate, we're holding a giveaway on Goodreads. Check it out!

So this past weekend I attented the Greater Seattle Romance Writers of America (GSRWA) Conference. Of course, I was beside myself with joy at the prospect of going to Seattle for the first time--hello? Coffee Mecca. 

However, I'm sad to report, I never really made it to the original Starbucks store. I know...I'm kicking myself, too. Still, I did manage to squeeze in a bizarre kind of walking tour of downtown Seattle that really began as an "Oh crap, I'm lost" moment. I managed to conquer the bus system and get myself back to the conference in one piece...minus a visit to the original Starbucks. 

So what did I do? Well, I ate the best Fish & Chips I've ever had (and I lived in the UK for 3 years), I got to see some of the artsy parts of the city via google-maps aid as I looked for a way back to the hotel, and, big surprise here, I attended the conference. I have to say the highlight of that conference for me actually happened in an elevator. I'm standing there, riding the elevator down all by myself to hunt down a latte somewhere nearby, when the doors open and who should appear? Cherry Adair herself. I have to say that meeting Cherry in the flesh was all kinds of fun. She's as vivacious and outgoing as you'd expect. I wish she were a character in my books. So in walks Cherry and suddenly I find myself up close and personal with her as she reaches out to adjust my jacket via the zipper and a little shuffling of my ta-tas. Yes, indeed, Cherry Adair got to second base with me. She even apologized for her apparent obsession with boob touching that day. I am, as I was then, amused. It seems like a special kind of honor somehow. Maybe if I lean forward enough over my keyboard the Cherry Adair magic will influence my writing.

Moral of the story? Wonderful conferences often get you to second base.

Dear Future Self,
       When engaging in activities like Spin Class for the first time, please consider the following:
 A) 5am without coffee is not the most energetic moment of your day B) It often serves you well to find out how long something like this might last. There's a big difference between 30 minutes of pain and one hour. C) Bicycle seats will NOT buy you dinner first. D) Gravity is not your friend. E) Remember...don't face plant in front of anyone if you can at all help it (avoid stairs you fool).
  With Pa

This is the part where I say...Yay! Thanks for reading my blog! This is also the part where I say...Please excuse my random shiny adventures. 

This is the spot where I plan on blogging about my daily writing adventures (probably to Kroger for more ice cream to fuel my writing stupor) and occasional mishaps (guess who's trying Spin class for the first time on Friday). I also plan on spamming this general area with pictures of everything from my pets wearing random household objects to my newest cooking/baking obsession.

Basically...welcome to my brain.