Erica Kiefer's Blog

I feel it. Creeping up on me with stealth I can no longer fight–those tears I’ve managed to push aside with each thought of my little one, now eight years gone. I find myself lingering in front of the photography projects I’ve challenged myself to complete, sprinkling his sweet baby face throughout my house in ways I’ve resisted because they lacked perfection and the ability to represent all he is to our family. I see the blown-up canvas of my youngest from almost a year ago, a tiny newborn surrounded by her three adoring older siblings. The photo fills the wall in a spectacular display of love. But my heart falls because I don’t just see the four beautiful children before me. I see the one who’s missing, the story left untold. The questions, no matter how I’ve battled them before, churn mercilessly of what might have been and how that picture may appear if Ty were here, leading the way at almost nine-years-old.

At last they come as I write, the tears I’ve stayed for so long. The dam breaks and I feel it all—the questions I’ve survived and yet still struggle to answer for my children. I feel the weight of their grief as they talk about their angel brother, cycling through the unfairness of his absence. I mourn the innocence that death has taken from them, their ages only three, five, and seven. I admire the awe-inspiring connection to the brother they’ve never met here on earth, and I crave their words about him, eager to keep him so alive in our home. However, I also stand hesitant, watching the tears in my daughter’s eyes as she flips through Ty’s baby pictures, or as I hold my two young boys whose brows pull together with their lips turned down, asking why he had to die. My heart weighs heavily to see them struggle with questions beyond my own scope of understanding. 

So I breathe deeply, eyes closed with a prayer to God and a reaching hand towards my son. I pray to know what to say to these young souls in my care, and how to comfort and teach them about the grief I’m still figuring out for myself.  The thoughts come, guiding my perspective:

What if Grief, with all its sadness and anger and confusion—were not portrayed as the enemy, an entity to run from. What if it were treated as a welcomed guest? Invited. Even respected. Powerful beyond all measure, Grief is a collision of emotions that fuel a storm within us. Like lightening and thunder, the unexpected effects can be frightening. Yet if you listen to the falling rain, you might also find a trance-like beauty.  Why, you might ask, should we invite a guest that causes such emotional havoc? Where, you might wonder, could one find beauty in heartbreak?

I promise it’s there, showering us in new friendships from those who deeply understand our pain—the reaching hand of strangers who offer a light of hope. They stand before us, experienced with weathered-but-growing hearts as they, too, continue healing.  It’s there, in efforts from those who can’t quite grasp our reality but try anyway, each act of kindness and service emulating the goodness in the world. That beauty is there, embedded in our new perspective, altering our vision. We will never be the same, but yes, there is beauty in that. It’s not so much in understanding “why it happened”, but in figuring out “what now?” Like the aftermath of a hurricane, you can focus on the destruction and why God would allow nature to take this course; or you can pause to look around… and see the connection between strangers who mold devastation and hope with each helping hand.

To my kids who naturally question life in the way we all do when we’re hurt, I often reply in honesty, “I don’t know.” But I can teach them that sometimes it’s OK not to focus on “why”. It will always be there, spiraling questions that often lead nowhere pleasant. Instead, perhaps I will suggest that we adjust our lens—not to ignore the questions, but to also survey the beauty. Next time I will answer my children with, “I don’t know… but I’m sure glad we got those five months.” Then, even if it brings tears to our eyes, I will smile and tell them all over again about their beautiful brother, Ty, and all the love we’ve felt on our journey.

Take action. Make the choice, and look through your lens with a purpose. Perhaps you will see that hope and healing can be found, even in the midst of tragedy. 

*Note: This post was written almost a year prior to publishing it on my website.

Every October since publishing Borrowed Angel, I have loved hosting a giveaway to bring awareness and support to those experiencing pregnancy or infant loss. In the busyness of motherhood and daily life, after eight years in this journey, sometimes I have the luxury of rolling with my new normal in less emotional terms. A house of little ones keeps me moving and mentally occupied in the best–and yes, definitely exhausting–of ways. I’m at a stage in my healing where I don’t wake up every day with that punch-in-the-gut feeling where nightmares and reality mix. The tearful episodes of aching for my little boy have become fewer and far between, though my thoughts of him still frequent.

But then October arrives and I sense it with my whole body, like smelling the change in seasons as the air shifts and mother nature makes her subtle (and at times not-so-subtle) moves. Everything feels different, and yet so familiar that I’m scared to give it recognition. I remember all too well–too vividly–the emotions that October brings. The Awareness is all over social media and support groups, calling attention to so many who have become “1 in 4”. It’s also my son’s birthday at the end of the month, and the memories of innocence and love tug on my heartstrings.

We are all at different stages in our lives, some of you with a loss so fresh that I just want to reach out and hold you together. I know how one wrong comment–or perhaps the deafening silence of no comment at all–hurts. And others I admire for the longevity with which you have pressed forward, your footsteps a combination of hurt and hope paving a path that we, too, might cross with strength. While none of our stories or experiences are the exact same, we know enough. We’ve felt enough–to be united in loving one another and offering support.

This giveaway of the Presley Pendant from Ashley Sullenger is one small gesture to show I care, and to express that I get how a piece of jewelry can hold a portion of our fragile hearts. Through Borrowed Angel, I hope my written experiences bring you some comfort and guidance as you heal in your own way. Giveaway will be live from OCTOBER 15-24th until midnight.

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Thank you for participating in the giveaway and for stopping by my website!

With love,

Erica

We’re one week away from Fall and CTP wants to celebrate with their Bring On Fall Free Book Sale and an Author Sponsored $50 Amazon Gift Card Giveaway! For one weekend only, they have selected a handful of titles throughout their different imprints that will be listed as free on Amazon from 9/14 to 9/16. This is a limited time promotion as the price will go back up to $4.99 on Monday. Take advantage of this exciting sale this weekend and Fall in love with some new books to cozy up with while you drink your Pumpkin Spice Latte, or tea, or wine, or whatever you love to sip on while reading. Enjoy!

FREE BOOKS AVAILABLE 9/14-9/16:

From YA to steamy romance, witches, queens and everything in between, there is sure to be something for everyone!

This group promo runs from 09/14/2018 to 09/16/2018 ONLY.

Some of the authors listed below are also offering Kindle Countdown Deals on their sequels, which means you can snag sequels or even a few series for the low, low price of $.99 each during this sale!

Get your Kindles ready, or download the Kindle App on your tablet or phone and prepare for an amazing FREE reading extravaganza!

HAPPY READING! LET’S BRING ON THE FALL Y’ALL!!!

 

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July has been designated as Bereaved Parents Awareness month to honor those mothers and fathers living with the loss of a child. It is a time to bring attention, comfort, and support to an area of life that can be difficult to talk about, let alone live with.

Grief is new territory for everyone involved–the parents, family, friends, and sometimes those awkwardly unavoidable conversations with strangers. If you’ve never lost a child but know someone who has, I guarantee that you still remember the moment you received that text or phone call–the one that made you feel like you’d been punched in the gut when you heard the devastating news. As a parent, that life-altering moment is relived over and over again, traumatic and deafening.

However, with the right amount of support and love, those moments can soften with time and healing. We can help one another, whether fellow bereaved parents, or family and friends. Gestures do not have to be grand. Some ideas:

Send a text, email, or message on social media, letting them know you are thinking of them or their child.
Share a photo you have or a memory of the child.
Drop off flowers at their doorstep or the cemetery and take a picture. No special occasion required. (As a parent whose baby is buried in a different state, I have LOVED seeing pictures of my baby visited by others, especially when I can’t. Thank you!)
Go hang out if you can, even if you don’t talk about the loss. Sometimes just having company is good enough. Maintain your friendship!

Some of you may hesitate and ask, “How do I know if they want to talk about their child? I don’t want to make them sad.” Good question. Everyone is different and some more private than others. Even as someone who has lost a child, I still feel hesitant to reach out at times. One major clue: Is that parent posting or talking about their child and their loss? If so, that is an easy green light. That parent is saying loud and clear, “I miss my kid. Please talk to me. Recognize my loss. Remember my child.” For the more private, quieter parent, a kind act of service is a good place to start, or the messages that don’t require face-to-face conversations in case they are not ready to talk. Eventually, depending on your relationship, you can have an honest conversation about their grieving process. Ask them how you can show support. Even if they don’t quite know how to answer, at least they know you are interested.

For the bereaved parent: BE HONEST and COMMUNICATE. It’s a whole new world for all involved, with lots of questions and potential to be hurt. My advice: look at each situation and believe that most people do not intend to hurt you. Most people will be as confused and unsure as you are as to how to approach you or how your loss might affect your relationship. Be ready to give your friends and family the benefit of the doubt. It is a learning curve and we need to forgive the outlier experiences that might make us think no one cares, or that people intend to say mean or insensitive words. Yes, some of those people are out there who haven’t a clue what you are going through, and just might be the jerk suggested by their actions. However, as you tend to the wounds that certainly will come within this minefield, be willing to forgive the accidental offense. We’re all treading through it to varying degrees, often maneuvering blindly with no idea of the outcomes that lay before us.

Nevertheless, even the blind may sense a change in darkness. Be searching for light along the way. There will be people beside you and ahead of you who are walking that similar path, hurting and healing in their own way. Some of them you will be drawn to. Others will directly offer a hand, sharing advice and hope that they’ve gathered through their own experiences. I know because I’ve lived it, grateful, ever so grateful, for the bereaved parents who let me know I wasn’t alone. I’ve gathered that light through friends, family, and strangers whose desire to help became a beacon for my soul. Go to them. Let them help.

With that, let me talk about this month’s giveaway. I’ve teamed up with Ashley Sullenger, the founder of PRESENTLEE, whose goal is to “help everybody have a support system when hard things come their way, even if it’s just one person.” The giveaway necklace is just one of the many incredibly beautiful pieces of jewelry and craftmanship offered through the website as gifts to show support.

Borrowed Angel is the book I wrote and published in 2014 about my grief and healing experiences losing my son to SIDS. In it, I share how I grappled with losing my identity as a mother, struggled with guilt and hopelessness, and eventually faced the anger I fearfully ran from.

To participate in the giveaway, FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM @borrowedangel09. Look for the original giveaway post (same picture as the one posted at the top). Details include:

Liking the giveaway post
Following me @borrowedangel09
Following Ashley @give.presentee

*July 18th is the last day to participate! Winner will be chosen and announced on July 19th, 2018.

*US entries only this time. Look for next month’s giveaway for international participation with gift cards and ebooks. =)

Please email or message me with any questions or comments. Much love to all of you!

Erica

1. What is your favorite part about being a writer?

The finished product! Lol It’s always such a relief to write that final page. But really, I love interacting with readers and hearing the parts of my story that they connect with and why. It’s so interesting to see what resonates with people. Usually there’s something deeper for that reader in their own life that needs exploring.

2. You have four kids! Any tricks on balancing kids and writing time?

Man, it’s hard sometimes!! I have to accept help, absolutely. I kid-swap every week, which gives all of us moms a break to do errands, maybe take a nap, or for me, get uninterrupted writing time for 2-3 hours. Plus, the kids enjoy playing together so I don’t feel guilty that they get to work on their social skills in a new environment. I also utilize nap-time like nobody’s business, or sometimes hire my teenage babysitters to play with my kids after school while I hide in my room with my laptop.

     

3. Did you always want to be a writer?

I was nine when I started a journal and thoroughly enjoyed any writing assignment from my teachers, whether poetry or short stories–which my classmates complained were NEVER short! Even back then, I didn’t know how to reduce the growing plotlines in my head to a couple of pages. Not possible!

But my elementary dream of becoming an author kind of fell to the wayside as I continued into high school. I always liked writing but wasn’t serious anymore about getting published. In college, I wanted to work with people in more of a counseling/therapy setting. But then I lost my job at a residential treatment center for youth when the economy tanked in 2008. I suddenly had ample free time and the story of Lingering Echoes come to mind! It’s been a fun, unexpected ride since then, and I’ve been able to utilize my counseling background to touch on emotional subjects.

4. Who is your favorite character out of all your books?

Most people would say that’s like picking your favorite kid and they can’t do it… but I can! I do love all my characters for different reasons, but Aaron Jackson from Lingering Echoes still has a big part of my heart! He’s athletic and cocky but with enough playful charisma to charm you, and his happiness is contagious. He’s protective and always wants to help. Aaron plays a main role in Vanishing Act, too, which is a good one to read after Lingering Echoes.

5. What is your favorite childhood book and why, and did it make you to want to be a writer?

I was the biggest bookworm in elementary school. I loved a whole variety from Little House on the Prairie, Anne of Green Gables, to Nancy Drew, and even a spooky one called Wait Till Helen Comes. I’m not sure any one book inspired me. I think it was more feedback from my teachers about my writing. I LOVED school and was unashamedly teacher’s pet. Lol! But that mix of morally strong characters with an element of mystery can definitely be found in all of my books, so maybe there’s something to the idea of inspiring early minds.

Thank you for your questions!

Erica

One of the themes explored in Through the Glass is how very grey relationships can be. Now, it’s difficult to use the phrase “shades of grey” without misleading an audience towards a discussion on the popular yet controversial romance trilogy.  Let me be clear that I write contemporary YA romance—very clean romance at that—so there’ll be nothing saucy about the content of this post or overly heated between the young love interests in my book. (Did I just lose about half of you? If not, stay with me.) What I do explore, though, with different intensity is how difficult relationships can be when emotions and circumstances do not fit neatly into categorized black and white boxes.

We grow up exposed to structure. Order. We see it all over our nation in government, politics, school, religion. We judge and box things into categories all over the place. Right or wrong? Guilty or not guilty? But what about when it comes to people? How are you meant to feel about someone who is woven so deeply into your life but still hurts you—or someone you love—with a betrayal worth writing about?

The storyline in The Window Series is completely fictional, and yet, perhaps we have all felt the back and forth heart-wrenching pull that makes us question relationships and certain situations in our life. What is the right answer? What is the appropriate response? I found myself exploring these feelings in a poetic piece that inspired pages in my novel. An excerpt from A Story Unseen:

My heart will find its way into writing, a heart that is not pink nor red, nor black nor white. In truth, my heart is grey, worn into shades that blur the rigid lines of love and hate. Of loyalty and scorn. Of truth and lies and all that must be seemingly so defined. 

Readers get to feel some of this conflict multiple times with Olivia Cole, the main character in the series as she faces hurt and confusion, love and betrayal. What seems so clear to outsiders remains a muddled mess of indecision, pain, and knowledge she doesn’t want to face. When there are secrets or uncomfortable truths just beyond our immediate sight, psychology refers to them as blind spots—pockets of potentially emotional trauma just waiting to peak our awareness. However, once we cross that path, consequences will ultimately follow. Decisions need to be made. Relationships permanently altered. Is that a step worth taking?

If you’re not yet ready to expose your own blind spots, walk instead beside Olivia Cole as she peers Through the Glass and grapples with her new world of grey.

 

Book 1, The Second Window, is FREE

Book 2, Through the Glass, available now!

 

Through the Glass

Erica Kiefer

(The Window Series, #2)

Published by: CTP Pulse

Publication date: April 3rd 2018

Genres: Romance, Suspense, Young Adult

Still reeling from the discovery of her twin sister, Olivia struggles to face her mother’s betrayal. As Olivia and her friends seek to unravel the dark mystery of how and why the twins were separated, tensions escalate when Emma runs into her sister’s ex—who assumes she’s Olivia. When honesty is abandoned for more secrets and lies, the fallout between the sisters only intensifies. As they sift between truth and deception, it becomes clear that matters of the heart are not as transparent as they may seem.

A page-turning mystery laced with romance and emotional drama, Through the Glass is the satisfying conclusion to the Window Series duology by Erica Kiefer.

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EXCERPT:

I never cared to be an actress. Waltzing across the stage with all eyes on me wasn’t my style, nor was feigning confidence as a different character. I admired them really, the performers who could fool an audience into feeling and believing their words. The very best could pull people into their world within minutes, tugging on heart strings and wrapping the crowd around their little finger.

Turns out my mother was the true actress around here.

I lifted my eyes from my bowl of stew, a fleeting glance landing on Mom as she sipped wine from a goblet. Without even meeting my gaze, her words found me from across the table.

“I’ll take it as a compliment that you haven’t spoken since we sat down for dinner.” She positioned her goblet beside her placemat, careful and precise. Regardless, the red liquid sloshed from side to side, taking a minute to settle.

I tried to hide how my eyes widened. Like an ostrich burying its head in the sand, I bowed mine over my dinner, slipping the spoon into my mouth and forcing myself to swallow another bite. Tasteless, it hit my empty stomach like a punch to the gut. I would never pull this off.

“Are you feeling okay?” Mom asked. She cocked her head to the side, studying me. Her eyes bore into me like a magnifying glass, reading beyond the obvious signs of my discomfort. She could always see right through me.

I scrambled for some line of truth, knowing it was the only way I’d be able to disguise my lie. Stalling, I ran my napkin across my lips, still focusing on the carrots and potatoes inside my bowl. How could I talk to her when I could barely maintain eye contact?

“Does this have anything to do with Andre Steele?” Dad asked. Grateful for the interruption, I found comfort responding to my ally, though he had no idea how deceived he truly was. Until just hours ago, I hadn’t either.

“Um, sort of,” I said, my fingers clenching the napkin in my lap. I couldn’t picture Andre without seeing him with Emma, harboring my twin in his backyard pool house. I’d only just met her after our entire childhood apart, and now we were separated again with more secrets and lies. There would be a time for truth, but that time was not now. Not until we solidified a plan.

Mentioning Andre seemed to fit my unsteady behavior, though. Dad cleared his throat and exchanged a knowing look with Mom, who gave a tight-lipped smile in return. I needed to play along as truthfully as I could, which, considering Andre and I were still unsure about our relationship status, shouldn’t prove too difficult. So, out with the truth.

“Well, we did kiss the other day—” I paused with an exaggerated sigh. “Come on, Dad. Don’t make this more awkward with that face. You’re the one who asked,” I reminded him, not actually wanting to talk about Andre and me either. However, it seemed easier than explaining, “Oh, and by the way, the woman you married separated me from my identical twin and has been using us to run a social experiment.” I wasn’t sure I’d ever be equipped to navigate that conversation about the woman he loved and the mother I trusted.

Used to trust.

“So…” I continued in a hurry. “We kissed, but then I decided I didn’t want a boyfriend, so I put an end to it. Only… Dominic stopped by on the weekend and I was mad at Andre, so I kissed Dominic, too—” I stopped when Dad dropped his fork against his plate and then clamored to pick it up in a clumsy fashion. I bit my lip, wishing I were only fibbing about kissing Andre and my ex-boyfriend within twenty-four hours of each other. “It’s been a little confusing around here,” I finished, folding my arms against the table.

Mom made a curt noise that sounded like judgement to me, not that she had any room for that. “It sounds like we might need to set up a second visit with your therapist.”

“No, not Todd,” I moaned, a genuine response of humiliation and dread. The first sit-down with that uncomfortable man was enough. However, I’d have to give in. This apparent boy drama seemed to be working as the perfect detour from the truth. And the lies.

“Livvy,” Mom said, her tone softening as she used my childhood nickname. I met her eyes in surprise. She hardly ever called me that anymore. It wasn’t like her to coddle. “One session alone is not going to help you come to terms with understanding your adoption situation… Yes, I know,” she clarified. “I mean, how I raised you without actually adopting you. We have our differences in opinion, but I’m sure we can agree you suddenly chopping your hair off and kissing a new boy every night might be symptoms of something deeper beneath the surface.”

Ugh. The psychiatrist was back in the house, which was why she’d sent me to a therapist in the first place. She hadn’t wanted to wear her mom and psychiatrist hat at the same time. Little had I known back then that Mom wore multiple hats every day.

The client-focused psychiatrist.

The devoted mother.

The twisted social scientist running tests on separated identical twins.

My cheeks burned as images of facing Emma along the river leapt to the forefront of my mind, shadowed by her navy hoodie. Pale and afraid. Nervous to my touch. I’d left her tonight, seated on the edge of the bed inside Andre’s pool house, her eyes wide and uncertain. Andre would take care of her, but I hated how the sister I’d only met hours ago lay just a few miles away from my reach. We had so much to catch up on. So much to try to understand, and a plan to devise.

“Fine, I’ll go see Todd again,” I said, conceding with less fight than normal—anything to keep this conversation at bay. On second thought, maybe I was conceding too fast, raising suspicion. That didn’t sound like me. “But don’t go pulling one of your favors again and getting me in tomorrow,” I hurried to add, crossing my arms for added effect. I slouched into the back of my seat. “Give me a week or so to figure out what I want to talk with him about. Deal?” I raised my eyebrows, hoping I’d pulled off my usual stubbornness mixed with compliance.

Dad cleared his throat. “That sounds fair enough. Don’t you think, Evelyn?”

Mom smiled softly at him and took a deep breath. “I suppose so.” She looked my way to say, “I’ll call Todd in the morning and see when he is available. No rush,” she promised. She stood up, gathering dishes from the table, and then disappeared into the kitchen.

At last, the charade was over. I jumped up, taking mine and Dad’s bowl to the sink. I let the water run over them. After a quiet minute, Mom’s hand landed on my shoulder. I let her touch press into me, stifling the urge to knock her hand away.

“I hope you know you can talk to me,” she said. “No matter what’s going on.”

I swallowed. At this point, there was no use professing I was just fine. She was letting me know she saw right through me, a skill I once considered more sentimental than manipulative. I could only do my best to conceal my knowledge for a while longer and hope she chalked my uneasy behavior up to the original adoption issues. Or boy problems.

“I love you, Olivia.” She squeezed my arm.

I unclenched my teeth. “I love you, too, Mom.”

Author Bio:

Erica Kiefer’s debut novel Lingering Echoes was published by Clean Teen Publishing in November 2013. She continued the series with Rumors (A Lingering Echoes Prequel) and her newest release Vanishing Act. All of her books can be read as stand-alone contemporary YA fiction, touched with romance, emotional drama and suspense. With a degree in Recreation Therapy from Brigham Young University, Erica’s experiences working with at-risk youth have influenced the realistic and relatable nature of her writing. Her first inspirational non-fiction entitled Borrowed Angel (published in April 2014 with Currawong Press) describes the loss of her infant son and her journey towards healing.

Married since 2005, Erica resides in Las Vegas, Nevada with her four children and can often be found satisfying her sweet-tooth with chocolate-chip cookies and a glass of milk. Now and then, she dusts off her collegiate rugby skills and dives back into the game.

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GIVEAWAY!

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COVER REVEAL

CTP Pulse is pleased to present the official cover reveal for THROUGH THE GLASS by Erica Kiefer. This second and final book in a YA mystery romance duology will release on April 3, 2018. For a limited time you can start the first book for only $.99! Grab your copy and don’t forget to pre-order THROUGH THE GLASS.

THROUGH THE GLASS by Erica Kiefer

Pre-order today at only $3.99! *Price is subject to change.

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Read more about THROUGH THE GLASS by Erica Kiefer here.

GET THE FIRST BOOK FOR ONLY $.99 TODAY!

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The Second Window

Erica Kiefer

Published by: CTP Pulse

Genres: Romance, Suspense, Young Adult

As her senior year flies by on cruise control, seventeen-year-old Olivia Cole yearns for excitement—something her upscale private school no longer provides. Her job as a grocery store bagger isn’t much help…until the day she has a bizarre exchange with the cagey town recluse. When the woman abruptly surrenders to the police, Olivia feels compelled to dig deeper into her perplexing story. But the investigation stalls when Olivia receives another piece of news—Andre Steele, the golden boy of Westmont and her previous tormentor, has unexpectedly returned from his four-year stay in Brazil—and the whole school is buzzing! All at once, Olivia’s dull and predictable life is uprooted, and she wonders if “boring” was so bad after all.

 

Author Bio:

Erica Kiefer’s debut novel Lingering Echoes was published by Clean Teen Publishing in November 2013. She continued the series with Rumors (A Lingering Echoes Prequel) and Vanishing Act. Her newest releases include The Second Window and Through the Glass, a satisfying duology. All of her books are contemporary YA fiction, touched with romance, emotional drama and suspense. With a degree in Recreation Therapy from Brigham Young University, Erica’s experiences working with at-risk youth have influenced the realistic and relatable nature of her writing. Her first inspirational non-fiction entitled Borrowed Angel (published in April 2014 with Currawong Press) describes the loss of her infant son and her journey towards healing.

Married since 2005, Erica resides in Las Vegas, Nevada with her four children and can often be found satisfying her sweet-tooth with chocolate-chip cookies and a glass of milk. Now and then, she dusts off her collegiate rugby skills and dives back into the game.

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter

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The Second Window

Erica Kiefer

Published by: CTP Pulse

Publication date: December 5th 2017

Genres: Romance, Suspense, Young Adult

As her senior year flies by on cruise control, seventeen-year-old Olivia Cole yearns for excitement—something her upscale private school no longer provides. Her job as a grocery store bagger isn’t much help…until the day she has a bizarre exchange with the cagey town recluse. When the woman abruptly surrenders to the police, Olivia feels compelled to dig deeper into her perplexing story. But the investigation stalls when Olivia receives another piece of news—Andre Steele, the golden boy of Westmont and her previous tormentor, has unexpectedly returned from his four-year stay in Brazil—and the whole school is buzzing! All at once, Olivia’s dull and predictable life is uprooted, and she wonders if “boring” was so bad after all.

Goodreads / Amazon / Barnes & Noble / iBooks / Kobo

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EXCERPT:

A stranger to me, I knew nothing about Jodie except that she lived on the outskirts of town. People referred to her as a hermit because she rarely ventured from her home, and when she did, it seemed only long enough to purchase groceries. She was nobody important to me—just the occasional name carried through the wind when there was nothing else to talk about. However, like clockwork, I bagged her scant items every Thursday at four PM. The odd interactions I’d have with the woman would sometimes be the most interesting part of my shift at Wayland’s, a discounted store that served as employment during the summer, and now into my senior year.

I met her eyes again, which seemed to never leave mine, peering at me with an intense silence that I couldn’t explain. She didn’t frighten me, exactly. On the contrary, there was a meekness about her that suggested her gentle nature. While she hardly smiled, she didn’t have a mean face. It was more like the bland expression of a person who had little to smile about. Yet I wondered at her reservation, certain she had more to say than she ever allowed.

Jodie’s slender fingers pulled cash from her wallet and she handed over the bills. When she turned to me once more, her teary eyes alarmed me. She swallowed hard, like she was washing down emotions that rose against her will.

“Are… are you okay?” I asked, hesitating as I placed her grocery bags into the cart. Her hand fell swiftly on top of mine, squeezing my palm. Startled by the sudden physical contact, I jerked my hand away. I regretted my actions the moment her expression shifted.

Eyes wide, she shook her head, her mouth opening as though horrified by her behavior. A tear slid down her cheek, and she brushed it away in haste. “I’m sorry.” Sniffling, she snatched her three bags from the cart and scurried toward the exit. “Hey!” I called after her. I exchanged a look of confusion with Marlene before following Jodie to the automatic sliding doors. “Wait! It’s Jodie, right?” She paused, sniffing once more. She looked back at me over her shoulder, eyes red and sorrowful. “Um, can I help you to your car? I really should have double-bagged that one.” I pointed to the bulging bag containing the heavy soups, grasping for an excuse to stall her from leaving.

The tiniest smile crept along the corners of her mouth. Her green eyes brightened beneath the sheen of tears. Relieved, I smiled back. Her next words fell from her lips in a low, quiet tone. “You take care of yourself.” Then she walked out into the cool air.

I stood there perplexed, watching this strange woman escape to the parking lot. Jodie had been a consistent presence in my life for months now, a once-a-week visit in which she spoke no more than a murmured, Thank you. Why did I feel a sudden permanence to her goodbye?

A familiar female voice called out from behind me. “I need a bagger on lane three please!”

I rolled my eyes and flipped around to see my friend Jordyn standing at the other end of the store, hollering into her cupped hands. I glanced at Marlene. My grey-haired co-worker pushed out her lips with a frown, throwing a hand onto her plump hip. I cringed and held up my index finger. “One minute,” I mouthed, and hurried toward Jordyn before she could garner anymore unwanted attention from my employers.

“You know Marlene hates when you stop by, right?” I said to my best friend. She beamed confidence at me with her wide smile, her lips stained in a bright coral that I could never pull off. Though only one-eighth Native American, the tan skin she’d inherited helped her get away with wearing colorful makeup combinations that I would never attempt on my fair skin. Jordyn also relished in the theatrics that I shied away from.

“I’m a paying customer,” she said, grabbing a box of powdered donuts off the shelf. She held them up to make her point, waving wildly at Marlene’s scowling face. Jordyn raised her voice again, like she was hollering at the deaf elderly. “She’s just gonna bag these for me and I’ll be on my way!”

I shook my head at her. “You’re going to get me fired.”

“You’ve got other problems to worry about.” Jordyn put her hands on my shoulders, and spun me around.

“What am I looking at?” I asked, not seeing anything out of the ordinary. Leave it to Jordyn to make me guess, rather than just tell me. She rotated me forty-five degrees.

“Not what. Who.” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “Past the cashiers. Aisle twelve.”

I loved her to death, but sometimes her games were a bit much. “Jordyn, come on—” I stopped, suddenly very aware of just who she was pointing out to me. I caught a glimpse of his smile first, gleaming brightly against his bronzed skin—a deeper brown than I remembered, and a compliment from his Brazilian mother. I’d almost missed him, hidden behind the cluster of kids clamoring for his attention. But then I heard his laugh, boisterous and infectious. Unique.

And stirring memories I resented.

I crossed my arms over my black apron. “What is Andre Steele doing back in Arizona?”

Jordyn inhaled noisily, letting out her breath as she spoke. “I don’t know, but Brazil sure did a nice number on him.”

I scowled and nudged her with my elbow.

“But we still hate him,” she corrected, giving a nod of solidarity.

“Of course we do.” We watched him disappear down aisle nine with his posse. Another burst of laughter trailed behind him, coupled with giggles from the girls hanging on him and the other guy slapping Andre’s back like they’d never heard someone so funny.

“Then again,” Jordyn added, “Four years can change a person. Maybe he’ll surprise you.”

I stepped away from her, returning to my position at the end of the register. I grabbed the boxes of toothpaste and floss sliding past Marlene and tossed them into a fresh bag. “I never liked his surprises.”

 

Author Bio:

Erica Kiefer’s debut novel Lingering Echoes was published by Clean Teen Publishing in November 2013. She continued the series with Rumors (A Lingering Echoes Prequel) and her newest release Vanishing Act. All of her books can be read as stand-alone contemporary YA fiction, touched with romance, emotional drama and suspense. With a degree in Recreation Therapy from Brigham Young University, Erica’s experiences working with at-risk youth have influenced the realistic and relatable nature of her writing. Her first inspirational non-fiction entitled Borrowed Angel (published in April 2014 with Currawong Press) describes the loss of her infant son and her journey towards healing.

Married since 2005, Erica resides in Las Vegas, Nevada with her four children and can often be found satisfying her sweet-tooth with chocolate-chip cookies and a glass of milk. Now and then, she dusts off her collegiate rugby skills and dives back into the game.

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter

 

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Load up your Kindle (new or old) with these AWESOME books and enter for a chance to win an Amazon Gift Card! Details at the bottom of the post.



Some of these books are regular price and some are free at the time of this post. I will mark the free ones. (these are free as I write this and may not be free now, so be sure to check).









Kasi Blake presents… YA books with action, sweet romance, and lots of paranormal fun.





1. Bait (An Order of the Spirit Realm Novel)

After sixteen years on the run, Bay-Lee joins her emotionally distant father at his New Zealand school. On her first night there, he dumps her on the doorstep and walks away. Big surprise. Minutes later, a bag is thrown over her head, and she’s kidnapped for Orientation. The hunter in charge calls her Bait. According to him, that’s all she’s good for, to be used to draw out monsters for experienced hunters to kill.




Before Bay-Lee can move up to the rank of Hunter, she will have to prove herself, battle wraiths, a reaper in disguise, and a stampeding border monster. With the addition of her classes, she’s going to be way too busy for a social life. Falling in love is not on the agenda. 




Then, she meets Nick Gallos. With the intimidating rank of Warrior, Nick is gorgeous, arrogant, and just plain rude to her. It’s obvious from their first meeting that Nick is hiding a dark past overflowing with secrets, and her father is right smack in the middle of it. Nick seems to be using her to get even with her father, and she won’t tolerate that. What a jerk.




So, why can’t she stop thinking about him?





                                                          Get it here:  AMAZON  FREE









2. Vampires Rule (the Rule Series)

Humans turn into vampires, but vampires do not turn human… until now.




During his annual trip home to check on his brother, a freak event gives Jack a second chance at a mortal life. It’s hard to get used to the loss of fangs–not to mention his powers–but seventeen-year-old Jack isn’t in this alone. He has a brand new crush, a teacher who wants to mentor him, and his brother to watch his back. 




But becoming human is the least of his problems. Jack has a destiny no one has told him about, a fate worse than being un-dead forever.

Now that he’s mortal again, will he survive long enough to turn eighteen? 


Get it here:  AMAZON  FREE





3. 4-Ever Hunted (spin-off of Vampires Rule)

Born with dark magic in his veins that is slowly killing him… Trick enjoys a reckless lifestyle.


He rides his motorcycle too fast, plays rock music while fighting vampires, and has a talent for making girls mad, especially Dani Foster. The girl-next-door has caught all of his most embarrassing moments. She wants nothing to do with him. So he watches out for her from a distance, protects her from monsters she doesn’t know exist.


Two strangers offer a solution to his impending-death problem. He can beat fate by becoming what he hates most: a vampire. Trick is sure he’d rather die. Then Dani begins to look at him in a way that makes his heart race. She brings hope into his life. 


Can he do it? Can he become the thing he fears for the promise of love?
 
Get it here:  AMAZON
 
 
 
 
 
Sabrina A. Fish presents… a hot fantasy romance for adults: redemption, love, & betrayal.
 
1. Diomere’s Exile (Gate Keeper Chronicles)

Five Gates. Five Sisters. Five Very Different Men.


Once there were two worlds connected by five magical gates. Then the Gate Keepers closed the gates and disappeared. The Gate Keepers have returned. Nadia de Quinones was exiled when her nephew, the crown-prince was abducted on her watch. She’ll let nothing stand in the way of her redemption, not even discovering her heartbonded and a connection to an ancient magical gate.


Lord Gregor Cyrene is sworn to protect his country’s royal heirs. After the youngest prince’s life is threatened, Gregor sets out to discover who is responsible and suspects the answer lies with Nadia. When fate forces their competing goals to align, neither are prepared for the irresistible attraction between them.


Can they see beyond their pasts and a millennia old hate between their people? Or will they continue to distrust, allowing those plotting against them to win?
 
Get it here:  AMAZON




Jodi Gallegos presents… NA steamy prohibition-era romance and rum running.
 
1. A Shine that Defies the Dark

Gripping, romantic, and evocative of its time— A Shine that Defies the Dark is a spellbinding story of one woman who will stop at nothing to survive during a tumultuous time in American history.

After a six-year exile, Ophelia Breaux and her mother are overjoyed to return to the Louisiana bayou. But it seems the ghosts of the epic feud that drove them away still haunt Plaquemines Parish, and with the Great Depression sweeping the nation, the two soon find they can’t make ends meet. 

Seeing no other option, Ophelia’s mother takes the drastic step of sharing her bed with the town judge in exchange for a reduced rent. The judge has had a life-long obsession with Momma, and Ophelia is desperate to end this arrangement and get her away from him.

When Remy Granger shows up, Ophelia knows it could mean more trouble—and that’s the last thing they need. Handsome and dangerous, he’s the first boy she ever kissed, and a member of the most notorious family in southern Louisiana—but he’s also got an opportunity for fast money in rumrunning. Ophelia goes all in, and it turns out she may have a knack for the business. But she’s going to have to run even faster if she wants to save Momma… dodging the cops, rival gangs, and her traitorous heart at every turn.
 
                                                          Get it here:  AMAZON




Sandy Goldsworthy presents… YA paranormal series about love that transcends more than one lifetime.
 
1. Aftermath (Afterworld Saga Book 1)

After losing her father, Emma Bennett moves to her aunt’s small town of Westport to finish out her senior year of high school. Emma wants to forget the pain and loss of the past few weeks, finding relief in the company of Ben Parker—a local boy who she has an instant attraction and uncanny connection with. When Ben seems a little too preoccupied with other responsibilities and has no time for her, Emma turns to the town’s hottest flirt—Lucas Crandon—for affection. Unfortunately, she realizes a little too late that, sometimes, bad boys really can be bad for you.


Life as an undercover agent for the Afterworld’s Bureau of Investigation isn’t an easy job. When Ben Parker finds his soul mate, Emma Bennett, in a small town, he finds himself forced to choose between doing his job or rekindling a relationship with the love of his existence. After Ben is notified that a notorious immortal is loose somewhere near Westport, he realizes that his love life will just have to wait. There is a criminal to apprehend before he can have his girl.


When lives are at stake and immortals are on the loose, can two soul mates find their happy ever after?
 
                                                           Get it here:  AMAZON  FREE
 
 
Tamara Grantham presents… Fantasy adventure with a dash of romance.
 
1. Dreamthief (Fairy World MD Book 1)


DREAMTHIEF received the 2015 INDIEFAB Book of the Year Award from Foreword Reviews for fantasy and also won a RONE award for Best New Adult Romance.
Visiting Faythander is a nasty business. Forget the fairies and unicorns, most people come back with lost memories and mental problems. Olive Kennedy knows. She’s the therapist who treats patients suffering from Faythander’s side effects. Despite her empty bank account, she takes pride in her job as Houston’s only Fairy World medical doctor. She’s never failed to cure a client—until now.
Traveling back to Faythander wasn’t on Olive’s to-do list. But she has no choice. The fate of both Earth and Fairy depends on her ability to stop an ancient being called the Dreamthief. To complicate matters, she may be losing her heart to someone who can’t love her in return. Saving the world, she can handle. Falling in love—not so much.
As if battling the forces of evil wasn’t difficult enough…
Get it here:  AMAZON  FREE

2. Spellweaver (Fairy World MD Book 2)

Spellweaver won second place in the 2017 Readers’ Favorite Book Awards Contest.

Olive’s to-do list: Pay the rent, feed the cat, save Faythander. Again.

When the fairy realm faces a new, terrifying threat from a goblin Spellweaver, Olive Kennedy leaves her home in Houston to travel through the most dangerous places in Faythander in order to confront him. While there, she learns that history is a muddled subject, especially when elves are involved. Her only comfort comes from Kull, her Viking warrior sidekick–who somehow negates her bad fortune. Yet how long can their relationship last when his past is brought to light? Olive will be tested beyond anything she has endured so far as the secrets of Faythander’s sordid and bloody past are exposed–one that could irrevocably alter the future and destroy the lives of everyone she loves.
 
Get it here:  AMAZON


3. Bloothorn (Fairy World MD Book 3)

BLOODTHORN is a finalist in the 2017 RONE Awards.

Olive Kennedy doesn’t believe in fairy tales.
In a desperate attempt to earn income, fairy world therapist Olive Kennedy resorts to finding clients at the Texas Renaissance Festival. When she discovers the corpse of her client’s husband discarded in her booth, she realizes that earning her next paycheck is the least of her worries. Even worse, Olive learns the murderer may be a magical monster from the fairy realm. The fae and their escorts arrive from Faythander to aid in the investigation, but they do not travel alone. Olive must confront the one person she never wished to see again. Kull–her ex.

After months with no contact from Faythander, Olive hoped the magical drama was over. Yet it seems she’ll never escape the beings who haunt her nightmares, or be free from the man who took away her happily ever after.

Get it here:  AMAZON






Susan Harris presents… paranormal romance with adult themes.
 
1. Skin and Bones (Ever Chace Chronicles 1)


RONE award nominee 2017 for best paranormal! 





Get stuck into what readers are calling a paranormal Criminal Minds!

 

Teens are turning up dead, and it will take a special team to catch a killer. 

Derek Doyle has been a member of the Paranormal Investigations Team since the monsters revealed themselves to the world. Considering that he thinks a monster is needed to catch a monster, he’s definitely in the right place. As a lone wolf not used to letting many people in, neither man nor beast was prepared for the effect consultant Dr. Ever Chace has on them.

Growing up human in a world of supernatural creatures, Dr. Ever Chace has always felt a need to be special, to stand out. When asked to consult on a case where teens are being brutalized, she relishes the chance to make a difference and help stop a monster. But working alongside a wolf who she’s so drawn to could be the beginning of something Ever might never have envisioned.

Fate and Destiny have a funny way of creeping up on you when you least expect it. With a murderer on the loose, Ever and Derek will have to put their attraction to one another aside while the hunt continues.

Easier said than done… right?

                                                         Get it here:  AMAZON  FREE

2. Shattered Memories

 
A terrible tragedy forced Alana McCarthy to forget a year of her life. Now she is to be executed for a crime she does not remember committing—the murder of her entire family. Lost and alone, Alana is terrified of unlocking secrets buried so deep inside her mind that she’s willing to forget the one person who could set her free.

Daniel Costello hasn’t forgotten about Alana, and he will do anything and everything to protect the girl he loves. But first, Alana needs to unlock her memories and find out the truth about what happened the night her family was killed.

The day of her execution is set. Together, will Alana and Daniel be able to uncover the truth behind her family’s deaths before it’s too late?
 
Get it here:  AMAZON
 
 
 
 
 
 
Sharonlee Holder presents… steamy NA paranormal romance, action-packed with adult themes.
 
1. Resurgence (Blood of the Custodians Book 1)

This steamy, fast-paced paranormal romance by Sharonlee Holder is perfect for fans of the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J.R. Ward and Sacrificed to the Dragon by Jessie Donovan.


The last thing Antara remembers about yesterday was her piece of crap car breaking down in the middle of the road, and a too-sexy-for-his-own-good stranger offering his assistance. Neither explains why she woke up naked in his bed, nor why she feels sicker than she’s ever been in her life.


Caught in the grips of a terrible fever, nothing’s making much sense to Antara. There are only two things she’s fairly certain about. One—the unearthly hot stranger’s name is Eros and he’s definitely not a human. And two—she’s pretty sure she was drugged and is currently his hostage.
 
Get it here:  AMAZON
 
 
 
 
Erica Kiefer presents… Contemporary YA fiction woven with mystery, suspense, and romance.
 
1. Rumors (Lingering Echoes Prequel)

 

Seventeen-year-old Allie Collins would rather hide behind rumors than face the truth–her life will never be the same as it was before the accident. As a star athlete grieving in the shadows, she hopes to find normalcy in boys and basketball. When her best friend sets her up with the popular Shane Moretti, Allie drags her feet, reluctant for added complications. Then she decides that dating Shane would be the perfect shield from last summer’s tragedy. However, what starts as a mere distraction proves much more complex. As Shane leads Allie into questionable situations, gossip continues to swirl.Battling for her own identity while barricading painful emotions, Allie won’t escape her senior year without new wounds. After all, tragedy is no stranger to her. The events that unfold will draw readers deep into a well of emotion in Rumors, a Lingering Echoes Prequel.

Get it here:  AMAZON  FREE





S. A. Larsen presents…
 
1. Marked Beauty 

Uncovering hidden secrets can sometimes kill you . . . or worse, steal your soul.


Anastasia Tate has a secret. She can feel the emotions of others through their life energy auras. Not a welcome gift for a teenager. Especially when a sinister presence begins stalking her.


Viktor Castle also has a secret. He’s tasked with protecting humanity yet cursed by an ancient evil to destroy it.


After Viktor saves Ana’s life, her abilities grow stronger. Drawn together, she senses Viktor has answers to lifelong questions. Only he shuns her at every turn, knowing he has saved her only to put her in more danger.


As Ana struggles with her attraction to Viktor, he tries everything to bury his unexpected feelings for her. But they must find a middle ground. For only together can they combat the dark forces threatening both their lives . . . and their souls.
 
Get it here:  AMAZON

2. Motley Education


**Multi Award-Winning Middle Grade Novel!**
*

Forget having a lively after school social life, Ebony Charmed is fighting to keep the entire afterlife alive.


Ebony’s less-than-average spirit tracking abilities are ruining more than sixth grade at Motley Junior High: School for the Psychically and Celestially Gifted. Her parents argue so much her dad’s moved out. And, even though he’s scared of his own shadow and insists on bringing his slimy, legless lizard everywhere they go, Ebony wouldn’t survive without her best friend, Fleishman.


When Ebony’s Deadly Creatures & Relics’ project goes missing she learns her missing project is one of the keys to saving the spirit world.


Now Ebony and Fleishman must battle beasts from Norse mythology to retrieve her project before spirits are lost, the Well of Urd dries up, and Ebony loses all hope of reuniting her family. But someone lies in wait, and he has other plans…including creating a new world of spirits without them in it.

 
                                                          Get it here:  AMAZON




Suzanne van Rooyen presents… upper YA/NA Sci-fi with adult themes.
 
1. I Heart Robots

Sixteen-year-old Tyri wants to be a musician and wants to be with someone who gets her musical aspirations.


Q-I-99, aka ‘Quinn,’ lives in a scrap metal sanctuary with other rogue droids. While some use violence to make their voices heard, demanding equal rights for AI enhanced robots, Quinn just wants a moment on stage with his violin to show the humans that androids like him have more to offer than their processing power.


Tyri and Quinn’s worlds collide when they’re accepted by the Baldur Junior Philharmonic Orchestra. As the rift between robots and humans deepens, Tyri and Quinn’s love of music draws them closer together, forcing Tyri to question where her loyalties lie and Quinn to question his place in the world. With the city on the brink of civil war, will Tyri’s and Quinn’s passion for music be enough to hold them together while everything else crumbles down around them, or will the truth of who they are tear them apart?
 
Get it here:  AMAZON


2. Scardust


Sometimes answers fall from the sky…
Dead Rock, Texas, 2037
Raleigh Williams made a promise to his brother before he died, that he’d scatter his ashes on Mars. Desperate to leave a life of bad memories behind and start over in the Martian colony, Raleigh fully intends to keep that promise. But his plans are thwarted when a meteor near-misses him in the desert, and Raleigh finds in its crater not debris or even a spacecraft, but a man covered in swirling scars and with no memory of who he is. At least he looks like a man—a man Raleigh can’t seem to keep his eyes off of—but whenever they touch it ignites a memory swap between them.
Raleigh agrees to help Meteor Man piece together his life through their cosmic connection. But the memory share goes both ways, and Raleigh becomes inexplicably entangled with a guy who is everything he needs—everything good that Raleigh is not—but might not even be human. As their minds and worlds collide, reality unravels and Raleigh must face a painful truth, one that could shatter his dreams of finding love, reaching Mars, and fulfilling his brother’s last wish.

                                                          Get it here:  AMAZON
 
3. Obscura Burning

Kyle Wolfe’s world is about to crash and burn. Just weeks before graduation, a fire kills Kyle’s two best friends and leaves him permanently scarred. A fire that Kyle accidentally set the night he cheated on his boyfriend Danny with their female friend, Shira. That same day, a strange new planet, Obscura, appears in the sky. And suddenly Kyle’s friends aren’t all that dead anymore. Each time Kyle goes to sleep, he awakens to two different realities. In one, his boyfriend Danny is still alive, but Shira is dead. In the other, it’s Shira who’s alive… and they’re friends with benefits.

Shifting between realities is slowly killing him, and he’s not the only one dying. The world is dying with him. He’s pretty sure Obscura has something to do with it, but with his parents’ marriage imploding and realities shifting each time he closes his eyes, Kyle has problems enough without being in charge of saving the world.

Get it here:  AMAZON
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