Reba Linker's Blog

Author’s Note: I’m sharing this piece from some years back to encourage anyone who needs encouragement to express yourself without fear of what others think. You are important. Your voice is needed. Your expression is unique and valuable. 

In 2014 I began to learn who I am and how to please myself. My Dad had recently died, and with his passing the foundations of life as I had known it began to crack. Through these seismic shifts delicate tendrils of a new, more authentic me began to emerge.

Around that time I went to a hat sale.

It was a charity event and I was determined to support the cause. I tried on hat after hat after hat, but nothing worked. Finally, as if guided by a will of its own, I saw my hand reach for the most extravagant and, well, gaudiest hat on the table.

It was like that moment before a fall, where everything shifts into slow motion: my hand reaching for the hat, my mind silently screaming “Noooooo – not that one!” I mean, the hat was just too much: shiny, gold, glittering, with a wide brim, and a glossy satin bow.

Wouldn’t ya know? The hat fit.

And darn if that thing didn’t look good on me!

A confession: I might secretly wish to be a natural linen-wearing sophisticate, however, deep down inside I’m still a little girl who reaches for shiny objects and bright colors. My mind did not like the hat, but my soul surely loved it. I glowed the minute I put it on.

Oh dear. Should I buy it, or shouldn’t I? Would I wear it, or wouldn’t I? Could I pull it off, or couldn’t I?

Back and forth my intellect and my inner child struggled. Finally, remembering that the sale was for a good cause, I surrendered the tug of war to my inner child.

I bought the hat.

I took the hat home and gingerly placed it up on the top shelf in my hall closet.

And there it sat.

Now that I bought it, I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. I tried it with one or two outfits, but nothing felt right. So the hat sat on the shelf in the closet. I looked at it, and it seemed to look right back at me: détente.

One sunny morning…

I was ready to go out with my young son, when as if on command my hand once again acted of its own accord: I reached into the closet, grabbed the hat and put it on.

I was astonished to find that the hat worked just fine with the navy dress I had on. This could be my only chance so, hat perched firmly on my head, I grabbed my son’s hand and we marched out the door.

Two houses down my elderly neighbor, Irma, did a double take. She looked at me quizzically for a moment. I held my breath. “Nice hat!” she finally said, sounding somewhat incredulous.

With thanks, we marched on. So far, so good.

On the next block a complete stranger called out to me from across the street, tapping his head with his finger. “What?” I asked with a smile. “Crazy hat,” he said, quite seriously.

A haiku of a life lesson

Ah! There it was, a haiku of a life lesson. Two swift strokes – one up, one down – reverberating against each other.

Up, down, nice hat, crazy hat – I had to laugh. I couldn’t please all the people all the time. I had to please myself! And to please myself, I had to take risks.

At the time, I had been working on my book, Follow the Yarn. I had been putting myself out there in ways I had never done before when I allowed what started as a collection of knitting tips to morph into a journal of self-discovery. It was scary to allow my truth onto the page – truth I had hardly admitted to myself.

The incident with the Hat gave me a reminder not to crave approval, nor to fear criticism, but to keep on expressing my truth.

Even wearing a hat can be an act of courage.

Not everyone will like it. Not everyone will approve. Whatever others think will have more to do with them than with me.

If I don’t express myself, the nay-sayers will have won and nothing good – for them or for me – will come of that victory. If I express myself, I satisfy my soul and maybe even inspire others to express themselves and satisfy their souls as well.

When my son and I got to where we were going, we bumped into a friend who remarked that she had originally donated the hat to the sale where I found it. She had purchased it at a previous charity sale, got home and realized it just wasn’t for her. My friend was part of the twists and turns of the hat’s journey.

For the rest of the day, the hat sparked compliments, laughter and stories from most everyone I met.

Since writing this story my neighbor, Irma, who gave me the original thumbs up, has passed. She reached her nineties in fine form, swimming, playing tennis, taking in shows, and going on cruises where she would out-dance folks less than half her age. Irma had a talent for happiness. I like to think that she recognized the joyous nature of the hat as a kindred spirit, and feel somehow blessed by that recognition.

Two strokes of the haiku, one up and one down, are not equal: I choose to be on Irma’s team.

When I brought the hat home it felt like a challenge. Then it became a teacher, the gentle instrument of a lesson in self-acceptance. Now the hat is part of your life, too, and here’s to the acts of courage and self-expression it inspires in you! So, go on. Wear the gold hat!

It’s not just skeletons in people’s closets; what fabulousness might be in there as well? Or perhaps it’s that our wondrous, dreams of delight turn into dusty skeletons if they are not taken out to shine. Let them out into the sunlight – while we still have the chance, while they still have golden treasures to share!

 

Join Reba on the 2nd Tuesday of every month for her online group, The Stargate Meditation Circle. In a warm and inclusive setting explore the potency of the Stargate Meditation to easily and gently help you release blocks and connect with an energy of love and support that has transformed so many lives.

Click here to learn more about working privately with Reba Linker.

[image error]A question for You, Beautiful One:

What is something you might do differently if you had no fear of what others think? 

Join us every Monday at FB AtoZ Healing Page – https://www.facebook.com/AtoZHealingPage – for a lively discussion of the Question of the Week.

The post Express Yourself – Put on Your Gold Hat! appeared first on Reba Linker, Lightworker.

A Channeled Message from the Flowers…

A flower has the freedom to just BE.
To move without doubt towards what it needs.

It never asks…
Is it OK to move towards the Light?
Or, did I do that well enough?
Or, why am I not more like that flower over there?

Each flower is fully, beautifully, freely, and magnificently ITSELF,
from the smallest Baby’s Breath, to the most extravagant Hibiscus,
and a world of variations in between and beyond.

BE FREE to BE YOU.

This is the freedom of complete self-acceptance and complete
lack of self-judgment except as expressed in Joy of Your Own Being-ness.
This is the joy of self-love, the full connection to your Divine Essence.

Go within and find the essence of the flowers’ message of freedom within You.
Feel, or imagine, the pure BEing-ness of its experience.
Feel the permission to BE YOU…

I  am  r e a d y  t o  B e  Me .I  am  r e a d y  t o  B e  F r e e .I  am  F r e e  t o  B e  Me .

Like the flower –  a living, responding entity, not frozen in time or space –
so, too, you are responsive…
to move towards the light, towards what brings you joy;
to quietly pull within when it’s dark;
to be OK with perhaps thorns or burrs
– this is the fullness of your nature.

You can be Free to Be You, to allow yourself to be your Unique Self,
to see your actions with compassion and acceptance.
These are the messages from the Freedom of the Flowers.

– Channeled by Reba Linker 2020

This Channeled Message from the Flowers offers you support in the areas of Self-Love and Self-Acceptance. They have so much wisdom to share as they live their lives, unselfconsciously sharing their exquisite Beauty, and answering their needs without self-doubt or self-condemnation. There is much to learn from them, indeed!

Join Reba on the 2nd Tuesday of every month for her online group, The Stargate Meditation Circle. In a warm and inclusive setting explore the potency of the Stargate Meditation to easily and gently help you release blocks and connect with an energy of love and support that has transformed so many lives.

Explore Private Sessions/Akashic Readings with Reba

The post Channeled Message from the Flowers appeared first on Reba Linker, Lightworker.

A flower has the freedom to just BE.
To move without doubt towards what it needs.

It never asks…
Is it OK to move towards the Light?
Or, did I do that well enough?
Or, why am I not more like that flower over there?

Each flower is fully, beautifully, freely, and magnificently ITSELF,
from the smallest Baby’s Breath, to the most extravagant Hibiscus,
and a world of variations in between and beyond.

BE FREE to BE YOU.
This is the freedom of complete self-acceptance and complete
lack of self-judgment except as expressed in Joy of Your Own Being-ness.
This is the joy of self-love, the full connection to your Divine Essence.

Go within and find the essence of the flowers’ message of freedom within You.
Feel, or imagine, the pure BEing-ness of its experience.
Feel the permission to BE YOU…

I  am  r e a d y  t o  B e  Me .

I  am  r e a d y  t o  B e  F r e e .

I  am  F r e e  t o  B e  Me .

Like the flower –  a living, responding entity, not frozen in time or space –
so, too, you are responsive…
to move towards the light, towards what brings you joy;
to quietly pull within when it’s dark;
to be OK with perhaps thorns or burrs
– this is the fullness of your nature.

You can be Free to Be You, to allow yourself to be your Unique Self,
to see your actions with compassion and acceptance.
These are the messages from the Freedom of the Flowers.

– Channeled by Reba 2020

As John Lennon wrote: “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” While I was busy ‘making it as a dancer,’ ‘working,’ and ‘starting a family,’ a core thread of Healing wove through my greatest passions, my biggest upsets, and my proudest accomplishments. My biggest lessons came from my biggest challenges. It’s been a gradual evolution, but I’m arriving at a place where I can face my foibles, freak-outs and flops with equanimity – even gratitude.

The ability to LOVE WHAT IS is a hallmark of wisdom walkers of many stripes…

I was struck by comedian/writer Josh Thomas’s creative process. Described by Thomas’s friend and co-writer Tom Ward, “We had an unspoken agreement that honesty was the best way to create work,” Ward said. “It was a gift when something terrible happened to one of us.” [italics mine] He described entering the writers’ room for “Please Like Me” and announcing, with a sigh, that over the weekend an ex-girlfriend’s rabbit had died in his care. Inevitably, the incident was incorporated into a script. Thomas told me, “It’s nice when bad things happen and there’s a little ray of sunshine—like, ‘Oh, I’m gonna get something out of this.’ ” (Josh Thomas’s Comedy of Self-Diagnosis, Alex Barasch, The New Yorker, 4/12/2021)

Being ‘one with what is’ as we slip on a metaphoric banana peel allows us release shame and guilt, and helps others to do the same. While not everyone has the gift of turning experience into a hit tv series, we all are creating the masterpiece that is our life, and we each have the opportunity to grab ahold of what life hands us with joy, and even thanks.

From Byron Katie’s book “I Need Your Love – Is That True?” a woman describes how her marriage: “…grows with every misunderstanding we inquire into….We actually look forward to bad feelings!…these stories are just telling us where we wandered from the path of love and understanding.” (“I Need Your Love – Is That True?” 2005 Three Rivers Press, p. 201)

Similarly, in the energetic release that comes from the experience of a Stargate Meditation (and other energy-healing modalities), our limiting beliefs and unresolved trauma can arise. We learn to give thanks with the understanding that it is showing up for us to be able to bid it adieu (and it strikes me now that the French adieu – farewell – literally means ‘to God’ – as the saying goes, we ‘give it to God.’)

Thank you (limiting belief) for appearing to me so that I can release you now.

Thank you (held pain) for allowing me to see you, release you and grow into more joy.

We begin to see everything – the good, the bad and the ugly – as gifts. It’s all happening FOR us, not TO us.”

This shift from victimhood to empowerment happens in so many ways. It’s not a passive acceptance of the way things are, but rather the courage to see what is, to hold it up to the light, to question if it’s true, and that fearlessness in the face of pain is what creates the desired shift. When we’re afraid to see what is, it stays stuck. We stay stuck. When we see it, question it, love it, and even laugh about it, we can bid it ‘adieu‘ and send it on its way (far from us!)

Over the next few days and weeks I see many exciting opportunities to share our Love, our Journey, our Curiosity, our Discoveries and our Growth, through the Circles at AtoZ Healing Space.

I invite YOU, Beautiful Soul, to share in them. Click here to learn more about our monthly Circles. 

Do you have questions about any of the Circles? Do you crave being part of a warm, supportive Community focused on Growth, Inspiration and Truth? Does anything hold you back from gifting yourself this gift of Circling? Share what’s stirring in your Heart.Love and abundance is in the air, and I’m happy and excited for us all.

Abundant Blessings,Reba

Welcome to Tea with Reba – Your Money – The Scarcity Reflex. This is an exploration of your financial health – from a self-loving point of view. Click here to watch this post on video (5.04 minutes). We continue our previous discussion about why it’s self-loving thing to do to create a financial cushion. You deserve […]

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This post is all about money and self-love – your financial health from a self-loving perspective! Click here to watch this post on video (10 minutes). When I offered my community the chance to ask me anything at all, I got a lot questions about money. I have to tell you, these posts about money are […]

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We are, above all, creative beings.Imagination excites us. It gets us up off the couch; it leads us on adventures. It’s the seed of growth. It’s the key to manifesting everything we desire. However, imagination may also lead to unhappiness.

I’m not speaking of imagining horrific things. We already know about the dangers of self-fulfilling prophecy – i.e., focussing on something so intensely that we end up producing the very thing we fear!

What we focus on, grows, right?

True as that may be, that’s not what I want to highlight in this post.

I want to speak about how even imagining wonderful things may lead to unhappiness – if we’re not careful.

There’s danger in the imagination that tells us all that we could be, and all that we should have.

If we have a potted plant, we imagine that life would be perfect if we had a small porch or balcony.If we have a balcony, we long for a patch of earth, a little backyard.When we have a backyard, we wonder what it might be like to live with a lake view.And on and on…

We do this in every area of our lives. We dismiss our achievements, knowing that we are not yet where we wish to be. No matter our weight, we imagine being slimmer, rounder, or more toned. We long for a different, or upgraded version of home, family and friends. 

The danger comes when we unwittingly use our visions of life-as-it-should-be against ourselves.

Before we know it, our visions morph from inspirational lodestars to laughing imps, taunting us with the ghost of accomplishments yet to come. They highlight our limitations and lack. We focus on what we want yet to accomplish, rather than all that we’ve achieved.

Our brilliant visions become weapons in the hands of our inner critic and inner mean girl, a yardstick against which we can never measure up.

As a young dance student, I was a slave to that yardstick for many years. Early on, my appreciation of beauty far outstripped my ability to achieve my vision. I wanted to look like the image I held in my mind. As a result, I was trying to dance from the outside, in.

I had to learn to dance from the inside, out. After all, that inner feeling is what made me fall in love with dance in the first place. Ironically, when I shifted my focus to the ‘inner dance,’ the outer picture started to shine!

Sometimes we have to just let the visions go.

[image error]

It’s a delicate balance between the vision of what we desire – and gratitude for all that we already have.

Not that we shouldn’t have dreams. Not at all! We need our dreams, our visions.

It’s just that sometimes we need to check whether the balance has tipped from inspiration to castigation. If it has, we need to take a pause. Stop chasing the dream. Instead, be happy now.

Be happy now with this imperfect family.

Be happy now with this body just as it is.

Be happy now with these accomplishments to date. We have accomplished so much already!

Be happy now even with these challenges that are ours alone to navigate.

Our stories are uniquely wonderful, crazily colorful, all wrong and yet so perfectly right. Embrace the story of NOW and stop running after the impossible glossy magazine version of what our lives should look like.

Be happy with this day,with this potted plant,with this crying child,with this breath,with this busy life.These gifts are the stuff of life itself. They draw forth our best, as we learn to breath through the challenges of a day, as we tend to that potted plant, as that crying child allows us to parent with compassion.The Universe is contained in every blade of grass. All this is already ours.

Last week, a client, let’s call her Sophie (not her real name), came to me for a Universal Sphere®. She wanted help with two physical issues: Firstly, Sophie was experiencing tumor-like fatty growths on her ankles and feet. These had been treated surgically last year, and had recently re-occurred. Secondly, as many calories as Sophie […]

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After a big move this past spring, I devoted the summer to my kids, making new memories and easing the transition as best I could. One of my favorite memories of this summer so far is seeing my 10-year old starting to ride ocean waves with confidence, and my 4-year old wading in knee-deep, saying […]

The post Fall Nourishment for the Soul appeared first on Reba Linker, Author, Healer, Guide.

I am pleased to share this guest post by Johanna Cider about the benefits of adding plant life to your home . . . The Incredible Benefits of Adding Life to Your Home Plants and other forms of natural life can have a great effect on the health and ambience of your home. Bringing nature […]

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