Amber M. Royse's Blog: Everything Worth Sharing..

Another Christmas approaches as I sit at my (barely working) laptop and pray that someone truly hears me this year, just as I have prayed every year.

Our Christmas tree is lit up for Santa and the kids have their stockings hung from the fireplace mantel… Will there be anything in them? I’m not sure.

Will there be gifts for the kids to open? I’m not sure…

And, as the dreadful feeling that comes with seeing less appreciative people get more – sets in, I refuse to allow it to leave me less humbled.

Our electricity is on, gas is on, there’s hot water for baths and food to fill their bellies. I’m so thankful we have these basic necessities that so many take for granted. And, we have each other.

We have learned through our struggles to love unconditionally without ever expecting even an “I love you” in return and a lot of the times we aren’t told.

More of the people we hardly know, say it – rather than the ones we’ve spent our entire lives with.

We give what we can because we know what it’s like to go unheard and brushed aside. It happens more often than most would assume. But, it never stops us from loving anyways.

Let me be completely honest here – it hurts. To feel like a shadow that only comes to life when someone needs something. It digs deep and makes a person feel like they’re nothing unless they have something other than love to give. It’s a wound that never heals.

In the midst of this holiday season I’ve seen people trampled over, pushed out of the way and their pockets sucked dry just from paying bills.

There’s less respect and more materialism. There is less FAMILY and more competitiveness in who’s got more money or the best gadgets.

There’s more jealousy and less love. So, I’m happy that those who seek LOVE come to me and my kids. It means they know it’s unconditional and sincere and if not for our struggles, I’m not sure we would have such a gigantic capacity to love others.

My wish this year is for my children to know how amazing they are. I wish for them to have everything they need and more because they’ve worked hard and it never goes unnoticed. I wish for us to be unconditionally loved and to finally be heard rather than a back up plan.

I wish for more giving and

less taking.

I wish for less judgment and more understanding.

I’ve walked a mile in many shoes but have yet to meet one brave enough to walk a mile in mine.

And… I still believe.

I still love.

I still work.

I still write.

I still share my story because someone out there understands and will find comfort in it.

I still have a lot of love to give.

Heart blessings to the “rich” and Financial blessings to the “poor”.

Amber M. Royse

 I’m going to ask a question and please consider carefully, then answer honestly – as honestly as you possibly can.

Do you base your intentions/guidance and responses on what you can physically see with your eyes and hear with your ears or do you use your heart to decipher between a false reality and the true reality? One in which you are creating. If what you can physically see is the only thing you believe and depend on for guidance, consider the following question carefully.

Theoretically speaking; if you lost the ability to hear or see, who and what would you trust to guide you?

This would trigger your instinct and intuition – you lean on truth to guide you. Where do you think that truth comes from? It comes from the same place you look to in others for guidance and compassion… The heart.

You would have no other choice but to take things for exactly what they are – the truth!

There would be no room for illusions of a false reality. You would only know how to feel the energy around you in its rawest form, you would accept it. You would realize how your energy interacts with the energy of your surroundings.

Now, I challenge YOU! Yes, you!

I was told by a very wise lady that when you plug your ears, you can feel your energy vibrations and hear them. Don’t believe it? Why not try it? Sit for a moment in complete silence and use earplugs or your fingers. Do you hear your vibrations? Don’t think about anything – focus on your breathing…

When you close your eyes, it enables a meditative state… Maybe, just maybe that’s why some of the world’s most famous musicians were able to express truth and the purity of  love through their music – because they didn’t just hear or see it, they communicated with it and nurtured it.

When you are deaf, you don’t hear music, you don’t hear a voice but you FEEL the vibrations of the energy. I’m certain of this because I’ve raised three children and one is deaf. These vibrations travel to and from a place of truth – A TRUE reality that no one can dilute or distort.

Now, I have one last question.

When you speak, respond or act, does it come from a place of truth and love or are your actions, words and responses coming from a foundation-less point of view merely to accommodate and be of convenience?

You have the ability to send out amazing waves of energy to everything around you and it reflects through everything – your children, your home, how you respond to others, plants, pets etc…

What do you want to see when you look in the mirror?

Here are some things to help with finding your truth and living in the one place that it comes from – a place of love! Yeah, it’s that place we forget to visit. I’d say it’s time to get back, wouldn’t you?

My physical self does dare call it the “Inner-self”.

When you’re HOME – not in public! I wouldn’t recommend walking into things in a public place, although it can be funny at times, it can also be dangerous.

Put a blind fold on, carefully and gently navigate your house, touching everything with your fingertips, glide your fingers slowly over whatever you choose to place them on and focus on truly understanding what it is that you are touching and where your intentions are coming from.

When you have a true understanding of how you’re projecting your energy/your intentions, you have a better understanding of the energy that is going to bounce back to you.

We ALL – plants, animals, humans, water, earth, sky and fire – project energy and receive it. Hence: What we perceive is a definition of whom/what we believe ourselves to be – we are shown a constant mirror image of this. We are all elements of this universe that create and mirror our surroundings.

Now that you know you are presented with a blank canvas each morning when you physically open your eyes, what will you create?

Some of the smallest steps toward seeking and accepting truth can have the most profound impact.

May you move through this life with grace, patience and understanding that YOU ARE capable of creating a magic so profound, it will live far beyond the limitations of the time we have on this planet.

Take care of yourselves, your surroundings and your Mother Earth.

Love and Light to you all!

Amber M. Royse

-Mother of Earth-

Ring of Inspiration

When I began this journey of writing, everything that bled from my thoughts, my heart and my soul into the pen and onto the paper was a secret. I shared a few poems here and there, but those that were close to me at 14 years old – they didn’t really show much interest so I figured it just wasn’t good enough to share with others, therefor, I kept it all to myself and became very protective of my work. Everything I wrote was my secret for at least 15 years.

Only a few people (including my hubby) were allowed to read my poetry, my thoughts, how I felt about both “in general” topics and “out of this world” topics.

I’ve always seen my poetry as “Emotional Portraits”. Everything I write is an expression of what’s happening around me and within me. In order to maintain peace with this; as it was my only release and MY truth, I needed to guard it from anything that intended harm toward it. Hence: Taking care of my mind and heart.

I was introduced to Facebook about 6 or 7 years ago and I thought it was another Myspace website but to my surprise, it had turned into more than that. It gradually became the website I began sharing my poetry on.

My friend Darren suggested I share a writing with him and after a lot of hesitation, I decided to share with him, one of my “Emotional Portraits”. I was nervous about the response I would receive but he loved it and suggested I share my poetry on “Facebook”. 0.o I told him I wasn’t sure if that was a good idea and I didn’t think anyone would be interested in reading it. I knew there were others that would gain a little inspiration from my pieces but to put it out in the open for anyone and everyone to pick apart piece by piece gave me instant chills up my spine.

He insisted that everyone needed to see it because he could SEE the portrait that was painted by the emotions I put into the poem. I talked to my hubby about it and he thought it was a good idea too. I was still unsure and It took me a little while to gain enough courage to post “A” poem on. (Just ONE!)

Endless Nightmares

Calling the evil,

Taming the kind,

Waiting for the rain to fall,

Hoping for the sun to shine,

Walking in a path of no direction,

A road leading you to a cliff,

Talking but the words you can not speak,

Waiting for the trek to shift,

Speaking the truth in which turns on you,

Telling a lie , and the lie comes true,

Smelling the sweet fragrance of a rose ,and

being pricked by the thorns,

falling head over heels in love yet feeling torn,

I call the evil,

tame the kind

Still claiming everything that is mine.

-Amber M. Royse

 This poem was one of my first poems I wrote and THE first poem I posted on Facebook. It’s since been deleted and put in a book of poetry compiled from my very own work. When I wrote that poem it was a very confusing time in my life, when I had discovered everything seemed backwards in this world compared to the way my heart told me it should have been.

There were a few comments on that poem, but even I knew it wasn’t going to be understood by everyone and I had eventually learned to accept that fact. The more poetry I shared, the people who needed to read it, did. And, knowing those who needed the inspiration, read the poetry became my main focus for continuing to share it. It flipped from a sacred release for me to a sacred release for others.

About 5 years ago, I reconnected with an Aunt from my father’s side. The crazy part is – the night before she found me on “FACEBOOK”, I had written in my journal – Agreeing to stop searching for my father’s side so hard and to allow it to happen in its own time. I closed my journal after the entry and a short poem for my father only to discover at 3;00 in the morning – a message from my Aunt ( My father’s sister) and at that point the missing puzzle piece was now in its appropriate place. She was a gift to me when I agreed to trust the divine plan of the universe.

Shortly after reconnecting, we began sharing poetry back and forth and she told me about the long line of writers and journalists on my father’s side… I’m sure you can imagine the excitement protruding from inside of me when I found out that I WASN’T THE ONLY ONE! Lol, it was one miracle after another for me.

She really boosted the encouragement my soul-brother Darren had started. They began a spark of confidence and a will to continue reaching out. The spirit coming from both of them made me realize there was a much BIGGER purpose to my writing… A GOOD purpose.

At that point – the souls that were meant to share this journey with me began showing up. To be honest – I wasn’t sure how to respond to all of the support I began receiving other than to keep writing…

A Piece of Home

      For so many years, as far as I can remember, I have walked through this life with a burden of questions, and only the images of what I thought were the answers left me with little closure.

Always too afraid to vocalize my thoughts or my feelings because there was no one there to relate

to , like a ghost following my every step , mocking my every move, always frightened at the chance of my questions falling victim to exposure.

After years of  learning what questions were important and  the ones that held no significance, I could manipulate my dreams into what I wanted them to be , as my dreams were the one place I could rely on for comfort,

Many moons of turning to a place that didn’t exist , where I could lock away my feelings ,one place , the only place I’ve ever felt I belonged, , the sun came out then it was gone, the seasons changed without notice ,but there was always a protective barrier ,my safest place was untainted and  strongly blanketed with a cover.

Sometimes , I would peer out and hide back away, my hopes of stability remained in these dreams,

was I the only one ? the black sheep ,the one that didn’t belong, ? is this why I’ve mastered the ability to mask what truly lay beneath.?

You appeared in the midst of all of this madness, at the end when I was putting that book aside , and ready for the little peace I was hoping to find, you rose from the smoke that held me down for so many years, you came to me with little hesitation right out of my imagination, the comfort that I longed for , the peace of me that never seemed to fit has found its place in a specific puzzle, the hand that reached out and brought me back to the beautiful reality I once tried to flee, to say the least you were the one that freed those dreams , and gave me closure to the many questions that consumed me.

The new beginning, a new book , no longer do I feel alone , In you I have found a small piece of home.

You’ll notice while continuing to read this blog, not only how the encouragement effected me but also how it effected my poetry/writing.

I steadily became introduced to different people with the same passion for writing and people I needed for support. When you follow your heartbeat song and release your passion it becomes your life path and those standing and waiting for you to finally JUST DO IT – will guide you and love you gracefully.

I often think back and thank the universe and the heavens for those who led me to where I firmly stand today. Although my knees were wobbly in the beginning. I felt like a grade school child nervously navigating their way through their first day of classes.

A few years ago my Uncle Lou introduced me to a website “MeetUp” – some of you may be familiar with this website. There was a group of people getting together for a “Writer’s” meeting. I had enough confidence by that point to attend and… I stood up in front of the entire room to read a piece of my poetry out loud. Yes, it was one of the biggest adrenaline rushes I have ever experienced. My tongue felt as though it were going to swell up in my mouth and I was going to choke but I made it through the poem and the entire group loved it. It was one of the proudest moments in my life as well. My hubby pushed me and made sure I went to these meetings. He also saw something in me I didn’t know existed at the time.

I self published several books after attending my first meet up and since then, I have grown in so many ways.

Finding Me

I once believed that dreams were for those who had nothing else to hold on to.

I used to feel that those who shared and chased their dreams were unrealistic fools.

Dreams weren’t meant to manifest or grow.

Those days, I feared my own being. I feared confronting judgement for passion of knowing. A scolding for believing.

One night, the stars shot across the sky, and I was given a chance. A brief glimpse crossed my path, and I was granted a vision of post time.

I saw a being drifting among the clouds, without fear of leaving the ground.

A being who trusted their wings and took flight.

She turned around and gave me a nurturing wink.  With a similar smile, and the love was mirrored to the same love inside of me…. I was no longer running from what I couldn’t see.

The Sky cradled me, as the clouds laid a path of self exploration.

Thoughts and feelings from treading on unknown waters. Despair no longer had any means for formation.

When I heard the voice of a past soul, I heard a familiar voice of my own.

As one person, I became whole. Gracefully introduced to my soul.

One with dreams is  one with meaning, and one that has the greatest potential to grow.

I allowed my wings to support me, and carry me to my destiny.

I live to love, and pass on the inspiration that my Angels have graciously bestowed upon me.

My dreams have become a permanent reminder of “Finding Me”.

I began not only a journey of writing and publishing, inspiring others and gaining inspiration but finding out who I am as well. And, the further I continued down this path the more support I received and the more I challenged myself to see myself and the universe more clearly.

Roots Restored

I often go back …Without reliving the past, traveling down an old Wooded path, where the tree-tops touch the sky…Forth coming ,Skimming branches..  A whistle of memories . A connection to enrich my senses .. Touch and Feel..  A caress that purifies. My skin comes alive. A willingness to comply ..The warmth of the sun.. Filling the emptiness between the dancing leaves, Whispering softly into my ear , My doubts fall with ease.

My heart floods with a familiar bliss, like water escaping the walls of a Dam, rushing tides ….Pushing through to a free-flowing stream …The clatter of my thoughts leave, settling among the footsteps of previous visits, ..A melody unchained , free from its own restraints .

A secret place within a wide open space…To rest easily upon my weary knees …A place where Heaven’s arms gently unfold to wrap around me…Sadness seizes to exist.

I reach down to caress my roots, with caring fingertips and two bare feet…No need to contemplate a direction…My love is not lost, nor the courage to believe…An offering to BE ….In my element ..To perceive, absorb a natural beauty……A moment to restore the roots within me .

I began meditating and reaching out to more people and I noticed that others were beginning to share their stories with me without hesitation. This is what comes when you begin to trust yourself and your life path. Others begin to trust you and they let you in to the most delicate, sensitive parts of their lives. I have some pretty amazing stories in my mind that stay in my mind because I know when they are ready to release their very own inspiration and the time is right, they will. Until then, I listen with love and do my best to be an example of courage.

A couple of years ago I found a website called “Spiritual Unite”. I wanted to check it out and see if there was anyone on there that could help me reach even deeper within myself. I began receiving invites to a blog posted by the one and only Vivienne Duke. I read her blogs often when the links were shared with me and a lot of what she writes about really resonates with me. This ultimately led me to a group on Facebook called “Connecting The Light Energies – 144,000″ I’ve felt and seen many things in my life and this group seemed like a good group to begin sharing those stories with. I was looking for someone to relate to. Someone to comfortably talk with because certain things began happening that I didn’t understand.

My soul – sister Nikki has always been there and often times I confided in her but I knew that there were others like us. Others who saw underneath the surface and understood what I was rediscovering. Things that I had no physical memory of but my heart had memories of.

I took it slow when I joined this group. I shared a couple of poems and began chatting here and there with the others. The connection was so strong that the energy force of our spiritual connection revealed itself and bonds were reunited.

Vivienne and I started sharing ideas back and forth as she introduced me to “AHA – Awakening Heroes Academy”. She shared with me the concept of the website and invited me to share my poetry on the website  Vivienne is an amazing soul and I’m so thankful to have her in my life along with all of the other amazing souls who have seen me through from the very beginning.

She recognized the connection as well and I felt a familiar peace with sharing my poetry with her and the rest of the group so I wrote my first poem to be posted and I was introduced to Esteban. A soul like Vivienne. He helps you pay attention to your thoughts and helps you recognize the spiritual connection between you and your artful expressions. Rhea, John T, Rich, and all of you are such beautiful blessings to so many!

All of you have gone above and beyond to show me support and love. My journey would not be nearly as magical and miraculous without all of you. You mean so much to me!

 Click on link below to be taken to the beautiful website and get to know these beautiful souls. You won’t leave uninspired!

 AHA – Awakening Heroes Academy

(One of the several poems shared to the AHA website)

The beginning of us is infinite.

We hold something very precious and intimate.

Our souls agreed to come together and intertwine – It’s a blessing to know we share the same heart, energy and mind.

I feel you navigating my thoughts – your breath is my pulse. I hear the humming of your body and the enchanted melody of your heartbeat song.

My ears ring when your inner voice sings my name – Your empathy wraps around me in a warm embrace.

We acknowledge the soul-purpose in each other’s earthly and spiritual existence – we share a common loving mission.

Your energy radiates through me and our lights remain connected mid sea.

No matter the calculation of miles between us, with each other is where we’ll always be.

Amber M. Royse

Click on link below to be taken to the poem

http://www.awakeningheroes.org/blog/spiritual-intimacy

When I saw this amazing tattoo I was immediately awed by the gesture and support. Darren had this lovely poem and my signature tattooed on his arm. My soul brothers and sisters – I love you so much! This is my ring of inspiration. We all live to love one another and continuously show it.

Thank you for the time you’ve taken to read this and I hope you see your blessings throughout your day, every day!

Love and light!  Amber M. Royse

Filed under: Amber's Books

Today is a new day and this morning, I woke up a different person. I don’t mean some things have slightly changed. My entire mindset and outlook has been rearranged. The voice of Fear spoke to me the other day and said “Let me in – I’ll take control and you’ll no longer feel any pain.” Fear wanted me to believe that it was okay to remain in the same place as I was before. It wanted me to shut every open door.

via Change.

I shed old ways and wasted days – timeless lies that pretended to harmonize but left me feeling victimized. I shed light in the path of truth that has been hidden for years because I remained quiet and involuntarily categorized as a fool. I shed negativity every day and give praise to the positivity that takes its place. I shed guilt and fear of failing for a chance to be THAT change. I’ve shed blind folds and strong holds to see ripples turn into waves from what we choose to engage.

via I Shed….

The colors of one’s soul can’t be seen merely by looking on the surface… No, you have to listen to what isn’t being said, look at what isn’t being shown – you have to conjure up all of your own courage to travel through the darkest and brightest parts of someone’s past, present and future. Your colors show through actions unseen and through words unheard. It’s the constant effort of understanding that will bring to the forefront, beauty that hides for fear of being tarnished by pain, envy, jealousy and all that may cause altercations to its purity.

via Colors of your Soul.

The beginning of us is infinite. We hold something very precious and intimate. Our souls agreed to come together and intertwine – It’s a blessing to know we share the same heart, energy and mind. I feel you navigating my thoughts – your breath is my pulse. I hear the humming of your body and the enchanted melody of your heartbeat song. My ears ring when your inner voice sings my name – Your empathy wraps around me in a warm embrace.

via Spiritual Intimacy.

To my love:

When we first met, I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, I was just coming out of a bad one. I had three kids I had to think about. Everything I was going through, they were going through it too. I didn’t want to run the risk of them becoming attached to someone who was only going to use us as a target for their anger. We didn’t know each other that well and I was scared, tired and lost.

We remained friends for 3 years. On and off messaging through social media sites, never once meeting in person but we were connected. And, that’s as far as I had imagined it would go. I didn’t realize that there was such an amazing person behind the pictures and the comments. Our conversations were sparse and at that point in my life, being single seemed better than the third toxic relationship I was leaving.

You were so patient. I never once thought you had any interest in me. I never thought I would be able to love a man as much as I now love you! You were there, you were someone I could confide in, someone who didn’t judge me or my situation, you just listened. You were one of my best friends. When you went out of your way to make sure my me and my kids were safe, I wanted to know why. I never experienced such an open heart in my entire life and I initially thought there were strings attached. Prior to you, there have always been strings attached to help that came from others.

You accepted us, supported us in dreary times and you never once asked for anything in return. You were just there. We’ve been through some crazy times. 8 years now and I love you deeper than I ever have. I used to question the intentions of others because we had been hurt so many times by those who said they cared. You showed us the sincerity of love, how easy it happens and how easy it is to give it to others.

You are truly the one who opened my heart and my mind to what it is to give without expectations and how good it feels to say “I love you” and truly mean it because it doesn’t just come from the heart. It seeps from every part of your body when you let it in. It takes over the doubts and the darkness and it releases fear and bitterness. You have been everything that love is. I am so proud of the person you are and who you choose to be. I thank God (literally) for every moment I have with you, whether awake or asleep.

You taught me to look forward to tomorrow and keep my faith in all things that are good and to find the beauty in everything and everyone. You’ve always fought for the ones you love, regardless of what’s going on, you remained loyal and that is rare, and your love is a phenomenon! If I could give you one thing, it would be a mirror into your heart, into the beauty of you because you are one in a million and I am blessed to call you my best friend, my soul-mate and the man that I will always love! You truly changed my perspective on all things. I strive to be a better person every day because of you!

You are simply amazing and I love you in every way possible!

-Me

When I was a little girl the very thing I wanted the most was to have a relationship with my dad. It hurt so much to not be able to see him. It was never about the money to me, not like it was to my mom. The value of the relationship outweighed any amount of money he could have given my mother for support purposes. When I turned 18, I looked my father up, found him and we had an amazing relationship until he passed away.

Today, in this society, the number of fathers who go out of their way to provide for their children is sparse. With the Child support enforcement agency going after so many fathers to help provide for the kids, the numbers are at a staggering high.

Every so often I meet a father who has been burdened with carrying the title of a criminal not because he doesn’t spend time with his kid/s or provide for them in every way that he can but because the law states that if ONE payment isn’t made or a “partial” payment is received, they must not being doing their fatherly duties. In many cases, this is far from the truth.

I have three children, their fathers don’t bother to call, visit or pay anything for support even though orders are set in place and they are living their lives without a second thought about the kids with no consequences even though a support order has been set in place. But, that’s okay. The money isn’t needed, the “non-help” isn’t needed and the corruption from the life lived is not needed. I’m raising them to the best of my ability and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

When you meet a father who yearns to have that relationship and spends time with his child/children, does everything he possibly can to help and pays everything he possibly can and yet still gets slapped with thirty days in jail because he made a partial payment. This is unjust, it’s unfair and he does not deserve the title of a dead beat dad nor does he deserve the title of a criminal. In fact, he deserves to be acknowledged. Some mothers will agree and others won’t. But, I’m not saying this to help mom’s slander a father’s name, I’m doing this to help the fathers who actually DO and TRY to be there.  A man very dear to me is facing 30 days in jail for not avoiding the obligation but for trying his best to do what he can. I can’t sit by and allow him or any other father who is faced with this, fight it on their own. I know how very important it is for a father to be an active part in a child’s life, and when they do, throwing them in jail for 30 days prevents them from being the father they need to be, it’s hurting the relationship with their child and it is not helping in the least bit.

I am fully aware of the laws at hand, I am fully aware of what a father needs to do because I’ve seen and experienced both ends of the spectrum, but I do not agree with the harsh punishment given when a dad carries out his responsibility and is given such a severe punishment because LIFE happens. Sometimes we are not in control of the cards we are given but we try anyhow.  I am so sorry that this is happening and I can not sit back and keep my mouth shut any longer.

I will not simply back down in fear, I was taught to fight for what I believe and I strongly believe that this punishment is much too severe considering he shows his daughter he does care!

So, in honor of the fathers who are facing similar issues because of the laws that have been set forth, I have started a campaign to help them regain their footing and show them that “I” care. That I see their efforts and they need to be appreciated. The best way to encourage is to show appreciation and that’s what I’m doing.

I am asking for a helping hand. Anyone that can help spread the word and donate or share the link. It’s time we show these dads just how much they mean and to show them that they aren’t alone. At the end of the day, that’s what anyone really wants. To know that we are not alone.

Thank you for your time and attention. Many blessings, love and light to you all!

-Amber M. Royse

http://fundanything.com/en/campaigns/dads-who-care

Giveaway ends February 15, 2015.

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