Ari Ryder's Blog: Inkwell of a Struggling Writer

Welcome Back!It's been four long and arduous years since I last posted on this blog. I was a freshly self-published author then, so full of hope and big dreams. I'd yet to feel the real sting of first rejection. I'd yet to see the hard work before me. Now in the year 2018, I look back on my twenty-two year old self and laugh at my naivity. Did I really think publishing would be so easy?  I was so lost in the magic of instant publication that I never stopped to think how short-lived self-publising can be. It's certainly not for those who wish to be immortal on the bookshelves long after they've gone.

Time and a hearty dose of rejection have changed me, and I'm more determined than ever to see my books on the shelves next to my literary heroes. As a sort of New Year's Resolution, I intend to document my journey here in the hopes of inspiring other writer's to never give up. We're all in this together.

How Rejection Revitalized My Ambition"Rejection?" you ask. Yes, dear reader. Rejection. The dreaded "R" word. There once was a time when that word struck fear into my heart on a monumental scale, but not anymore.

I was just finishing up my senior year of college. Writing was still an ambition of mine, but I was on the fence over whether I wanted to continue self-publishing or if it was time to put away my toys and find an agent. At the time, I was living in California doing my second Disney College Program (which doubled as my needed internship to graduate). I spent every free moment at the little cafe down the street from my apartment, holed up at a corner table, writing. I felt so free. So alive. So unstoppable. It was, therefore, only natural that when my aunt sent me the information for an independant publisher back home, I immediately began to compile a submission for the finished novel gathering dust on my laptop.

A week later, I got an email requesting the full manuscript. I was thrilled! This was surely the first step in what would be a long career in writing. I couldn't lose. I made all haste for my laptop the moment I got home and sent the requested pages with every prayer I could muster.

Another week passed. And then another. Anxiety plagued me like some monstrous disease. Had they forgotten me? After six weeks, I nudged the publisher with a polite email inquiring about the status of my submission.

They struck with the force of a canon ball.

The response I'd recieved was a good six or seven paragraphs in length, all of it bad news. Each paragraph picked my manuscript to pieces. It was too short, they said. Several plot points didn't make sense. They even went so far as to tell me how I should rewrite my story. Their suggestions were, in a word, ridiculous. They clearly didn't understand the world I'd built at all.

At first, I was crushed. Five minutes later, I was angry.

So angry, in fact, that I immediately went to my computer and began examining my manuscript for myself. Too short, is it? I thought. I'll show you too short. 

I pulled out notebooks and pens. I examined my work with fresh eyes and marked what worked and what didn't. Rejection had made me an unstoppable force. I was determined to prove that publisher wrong. In doing so, I took a half-baked idea and exploded it into a world that would span four novels.

From less than 30,000 words to four novels.

That was the power of Rejection for me, dear reader. I could have let the pain cripple me. I could have given up right then and there. Instead, I found a determination I never knew I posessed.

I've been shopping the new and improved manuscript to agents for over a year now, and I've been formally rejected over twenty times. (That's not counting the agencies who have decided writer's don't deserve a form rejection). Each one brings with it disappointment, but I again feel those flames of stubborn determination stoked.

Rejection taught me three things:

1. My work is not perfect!

Writing is hard work. A good writer can make it seem like words flow effortlessly across the page, but I assure you, reader mine, that is not the case. Good writing is re-writing and writing again. I now have a "three-draft" rule for every project I undertake. And that's not counting the potential fourth and fifth draft edits that may need to be made after an editor or publisher does manage to get their hands on it.

2. Constructive critisism is your friend!

I am a defensive person by nature. Rejection has taught me to listen more to my peers and critics. Does that mean a writer should listen to every piece of advice given? No. Never let anyone dictate your work. But there may be plot points you've overlooked or character development opportunities missed. Sometimes it takes a fresh eye to make your work truly your best.

3. Failure is not scary!

I spent so much time in my younger years being afraid to fail, afraid to fall, never realizing the strength it could bring. In failing, I learned where I stood and discovered exactly how much I wanted to be a writer. Failure has taught me to get back up again. To try one more time. And just one more time. In failure, I've learned to never give up.

I'm still struggling to find an agent amid the sea of other desperate writers, but I won't give up until I succeed. My hope for you today is that you too will find the strength to never give up. Rejection can be just as much a beginning as it is an ending. Embrace it and let it teach you how to be the best version of you.

Happy writing and best of luck!
-Ari

As the days go on, my dream of being a best-selling author feels more and more tangible. Though I published in November of last year, it's been difficult to let people know where my book is. I don't have the glorious advantage of an agent or a press team. There isn't a major publishing company out there advertising my latest novel. It's been a struggle. But the more time goes on, and the more I talk to people, the more readers I find. I've already been asked to sign a few copies, and once I return home, I'll be able to get copies on the local bookstore shelf.

Today I spent a good forty-five minutes to an hour trying to decide on a signature. It's been an adventure, let me tell you. My penmanship is awful. I think I've finally found a signature to suit my personality. In a world where signatures are an authors calling card, I don't want mine to look poorly.

I've had two co-workers purchase my novel, and I got so giddy inside when they said they'd ordered it. The ball is beginning to roll, and I couldn't be more excited. I've also heard reports from a colleague across the pond. I already have readers there thoroughly enjoying "The Index of Magic." With time and a good bit of hard work, I may become a best-selling author yet. It's a dream that will take years, but I'm up for the challenge. With each new novel, I try to do better than the one before. Knowing people are actually reading my work gives me that much more incentive to keep writing, so thanks guys! Here's to a beautiful friendship!

For those of you who don't know, writing is a difficult enough job on it's own. Authors spend many countless hours toiling over details, frustrated because we can't make the dots connect. Add in a day job, and you have a recipe for disaster.

I'm currently doing the Disney College Program, which is more or less fantastic, but it's not a conducive environment for writing. I spend more of my time too exhausted to write than not. On the bright side, the few moments I do spend weaving stories are always productive. The next installment in Legends of Illdueh is coming along rather nicely, and I can't wait to finish it and share it with you guys.

On another note, thanks to all who've downloaded the kindle version of "The Index of Magic." I'm anxiously awaiting your reviews, the good and the bad. Don't be afraid to give bad reviews! As long as they're constructive, I actually appreciate them!

Well, I'm not sure what else to address! If you have any questions or comments, please leave them below! I'll happily answer them.

I did it! After months of toil and working my tail off, my book is now available in paperback! Nothing beats the feeling of success. Over the years, I've had several people discourage me or doubt my ability to do this. And now I have the proof in my hands that I can do whatever I set my mind to.

Fixing the final touches of the book was not an easy thing to do. The page numbers were messed up again, and I had to redo the entire table of contents. I re-read the novel in it's entirety (all 303 pages) and marked where changes needed to be made. My hope is this series will do well enough to get the attention of a publisher someday. I like self publishing, truly, but it's hard and advertising is difficult. There are many things an agent and a publisher can do for me that I simply can not achieve on my own. They won't even look at me until they know I can sell, though. So, here I am, working my fingers to the bone to get these books done. It's hard work, but I'm loving every minute of it.

Next on my list? Finish registering the book and alert libraries and bookstores of its existence. The more shelves I can get this book on, the more people are likely to find it. I'm already several chapters into the second book in the series, and the third is plotted. Now I just need readers.

The countdown begins until I leave for my internships at Walt Disney World. I'm pretty stoked about it, not gonna lie. I haven't even begun to start packing, which I probably should. I just got my email this morning about registering for apartments and picking roommates, and I've been trying to figure all that out. It got me thinking about how different the next five months will be. When am I going to find the time to write? Obviously, I can't just up and stop. Not only is it an addicting habit, it's also my job.

I was going over things I need to bring in my mind: my DSLR, my guitar... and then I realized something kind of distressing. How the heck am I going to take my story boards? I picked up this neat idea from Ally Carter-- she storyboards with sticky notes. I never thought about doing that. I've always kept thought journals, which are usually pretty messy (not that my storyboards aren't a work of art in themselves). The storyboards help me take all the puzzle pieces I found and put them all together. It keeps my brain organized. I can't just up and pull them off the wall-- it might mess up their order. This is a pretty big problem. I'm working on book 2 in Legends of Illdueh, and the third installment is brewing along with several side projects. If I don't storyboard everything, I lose my thought process-- my version of Sherlock's mind palace, I suppose.

The next few months are going to be tough, trying to balance an almost full time job with writing. My hope is that someday my writing does well enough I won't need a secondary job. Writing, for the most part, is full time. There's travel and research, storyboarding, and then the actual writing bit. It's not easy, and trying to be concise in the midst of another job sometimes causes it to suffer. I'm still recovering from taking Journalism classes, which forced me to write less creatively and more objectively-- I despised it. Still do. It killed my workflow.

I suppose the long story short is I'm freaking out about getting my novel done properly and not growing lazy. Better work hard to avoid that....

...maybe a pinboard with my sticky notes on it? That could work for travel...

Create Space has turned out to be a great self-publishing platform, but I will tell you this-- choosing to self-publish is not for the faint of heart. All the pieces a publishing company and agent would handle you have to do yourself, which is fine if you're determined enough. It only took 24 hours for Create Space to approve my book cover and novel formatting, which was a great relief. This is the first time I've attempted anything like this myself, and to be honest, sometimes I'm drowning. There was but one hiccup in the whole manuscript-- the odd and even numbers were on the wrong pages. It took hours to work everything out in Microsoft word, but I believe the end result will prove fruitful.

Now it's time to play the waiting game. I likely won't hear back again until tomorrow morning, and then I can order a proof of my book. I'm incredibly excited about that part. After years of being told I'm wasting my time and being turned down or looked over by agents, I'm finally going to hold that book in my hand and say, "I did it!"

To fellow writers, I say this: Don't give up. Even if you're writing is horrid and you don't think people will like it, do it anyway. Nothing is greater than saying you accomplished a goal you made for yourself. It's worth all the struggles in the end.

Bam! I've finally done it! My book is now in the works to become a paperback! I can't even begin to describe to you the excitement this brings me. After an entire day of formatting, choosing fonts, and working reconstructing my book cover, I submitted everything!

Boy let me tell you, self publishing is hard. There's a reason the publishing companies get such a percentage of the sales when you go the traditional publishing route-- you're paying people to do all of this for you. I'd say it isn't worth it, but honestly I enjoyed the hours of endless toil. I was working towards a goal I'm passionate about, and I'm excited about the outcome! I worked extra hard to make this book look and feel as good as the traditionally published copy would have been-- I almost like this better. Having complete creative control and doing it all myself has given me an even greater sense of pride. I know when I see people holding it that I made that book by the sweat of my own brow. It's a greater accomplishment than I ever thought possible in my entire life.

I'll be leaving in two short weeks for an internship at Disney World. My goal is to have this book for sale before I depart. Now that I know the process well, I can release kindle and paperback simultaneously. Here's to the next big adventure!

I suppose I should kick this thing off right, yeah? I'm Ari, I'm 22 and I'm a writer. I realize that list bit may be self evident-- what am I doing now if not writing? Stories are my life and always have been. They're more than just an escape from the horrors we face in everyday life-- they're a chance to understand life. As a kid, stories were nothing more than a game of pretend and maybe reading a good book. Now I've published my first novel, and I have many more on the way.

Why do I write? That's a question I get asked a lot, whether directly or indirectly. Why? Because I have to. No matter how hard I try not to, my mind is constantly spinning stories; I'm constantly noticing things I shouldn't. I have but two options: Let it fester in my mind for all eternity... or write it down. Obviously, I choose the latter. But that's not the only reason I write. Stories can change lives and teach lessons-- they live on long after the writer has left this world. We still read classics like Pride & Prejudice and Sherlock Holmes. Many stories become legends for each generation. I don't simply write for myself, though it does help ease my mind-- I write for you, dear reader. Because you may be having a hard life or a maybe just a really bad day. You might need a character to relate to in order to find the courage to keep pressing on. I write because I have a passion for people like you.

That being said, writing is NEVER easy. My storyboards are a mess, and my thought journals messier still.  Even harder is the actual act of publishing. My novel has been out since November, and though I've sold a number of copies, I've seen no profit. Much like any entertainment career, my success rides completely on the coat tails of my fans. So far it's slow going. I'm not sure if it's the slow start, or if people just can't find it, but I'm doing my best to advertise like crazy. There are many people in my life who don't think I can do this, and I intend to prove them wrong. As a child, books were my closest friends. Being a successful writer is a dream I will reach, no matter how long it takes. I've worked six years on my first book series-- six years of intense planning and mapping that some say mirrors J.R. Tolkien. Please, dear readers, don't let my struggles be in vain. Give me a chance. I promise I shan't disappoint.