Stephanie Dolce's Blog

In “Meet Me in the Penalty Box,” I delve into the pervasive issues of domestic violence and sexual assault within professional hockey, highlighting how the NHL stands alone among major sports leagues without a comprehensive policy to protect victims. The series traces the roots of this toxic culture back to the junior hockey ranks, where young players are molded into conforming to aggressive, hyper-masculine behaviors that prioritize silence and endurance over accountability and empathy.

Meet Me in the Penalty Box: Part 2 promises to be a transformative exploration of hockey’s dark underbelly. with section 3: The Picket Fence Mentality.

It is important to add: The events described reflect the author’s memories, research and perspective. This book is not intended as legal, medical, or psychological advice. Some content depicts abuse and trauma, which some readers may find distressing.

Part 2 release coming soon

The US Men’s Team pulled it off on Sunday morning and won gold. Everyone was excited and happy that they did it on the anniversary of the Miracle On Ice 1980. The only difference I will point out was that this team was full of NHL players while the 1980 was not. But that’s not the point of the blog post.

Then Larkin and Tkachuk went into the stands to go get the late Johnny Gaudreau’s kids. I will admit I cried when I saw Johnny’s dad cry, the heartbreak of losing both his sons to a self-entitled drunk will haunt him forever.

But what kills me is the US Men’s hockey team brought out Johnny Gaudreau’s daughter for the photo op but deny the fact that their culture is sexist, misogynistic and toxic towards women. 

These men don’t even fight for the women in their lives now what makes some people think they’re going to fight for her? 

The casual fan has NO IDEA what the culture of the NHL entails, they just see this moment and gush all over it. But women who are actual hockey fans see right through this – we see it as a way to say that these guys are so kind, compassionate and loving. Now, some NHL players might be that, but for the majority they are not.

As I wrote in my new series, “Meet Me In the Penalty Box” part 1: Culture isn’t an excuse for abuse.  And abuse is silent no matter what type of abuse it is: emotionally, mental, physical or sexual. This locker room culture in THE NHL encourages and rewards particular performances of toxic masculinity. And players who don’t adhere to implicit and explicit organizational expectations risk being ostracized.

Al the sexual assault and domestic violence that has occurred has been swept under the rug and the victims are bought off to keep quiet. We can talk about the social media admin of the NY Rangers, the victims of other cases, such as the Chicago Blackhawks, and also the well documented woman from the Hockey Canada case. That’s what the NHL does, they pay off these cases, the settle them. So whenever you hear something about a NHL player fans automatically assume that the woman is lying for a payday and the men take the athlete’s side. They make these guys out to the “Best” when that is not exactly the truth. At least the NFL does not sugar coat their league like the NHL does. They have a policy, the NHL does not. NHL players are PROHIBITED from talking about all the violence against women and even the media that covers the teams don’t MENTION it either. They all have become ENABLERS!

oh, and by the way, Gary Bettman the commissioner “swears” the alcohol is not part of the culture anymore… did you see how drunk out of their minds the team was Sunday? Yes, they won and I don’t care if they had a little to drink. Vincent Trocheck as quoted saying that he was going to “get F-up tonight”

The NHL USA Men’s team has an opportunity now once and for all to CHANGE the CULTURE and stand up for women everywhere and DEMAND a policy to protect the women who work in the NHL, date/marry NHL players and also protect players from sexual assault themselves. If Noa Gaudreau actually MEANS something to these guys and not was just used as a pawn on Sunday to make you believe they care, then they will NO LONGER BE SILENT.

We all have choices in our lives. Let’s see what choice the USA Men’s Hockey team makes- that will speak louder than anything else. Will they keep enabling violence against women or will they stay up as “Proud American Men” and say enough is enough?

The time is now.

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What happens when an entire professional sports league is built on toxic masculinity and NOT ONE journalist/beat writer has the guts to talk about it and put pressure on the commissioner Bettman?

What is it like being a woman and working for the NHL?

What toxic behaviors are reinforced in the locker rooms?

How has this toxic behavior been passed down generation to generation?

What are the psychological ways that hockey players are being conformed to not only continue this behavior, but to stay quiet about it?

Get the book today and find out:

You can purchase the book on Barnes and Noble ONLY – The e-book will be available in a few weeks.

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In 2025 we talked at length about the NHL culture and how corrupt it is. There have been numerous hockey players that have been accused of sexual assault and domestic violence only to have it swept under the rug. Not only does the NHL do this, BUT EVERY OTHER LEAGUE.

We had ECHL teams sign a convicted rapist who was a hockey player.
We had AHL teams sign players who were acquitted on a technicality of sexual assault.
We had former NHL players and coaches accused of sexual assault and domestic violence
We had a freaking NHL team sign a player who was acquitted on a technicality and then put out a statement as to why they signed him AND then PROTECT him from the media
We had the Swiss hockey league sign a player who also was acquitted on a technicality of sexual assault.
We had a KHL team sign a player who also was acquitted on a technicality of sexual assault AND who was brought up in ANOTHER case.

We then had Hockey Canada say that they are making changes to the culture but then NEVER informed the public as to what those changes were – which only means it’s words to calm down the noise only, they still plan to sweep this shit under the rug.

IN 2026, we will make sure that each league gets what they deserve. I will forever be the “problem” breaking rules I did not make in order to change this culture and make hockey stop being a “boys club” and not only repent, but create a policy that protects women AND hockey players ( in case you forgot there were hockey players that were sexually assaulted and molested back in 2010, which came to light in 2021)

My series, “Meet Me In The Penalty Box” will be the talk about 2026 – The books will be coming out starting in January 2026 plus an ebook.
You can also follow me on IG ( see above) X, formally Twitter, Tiktok and Youtube for the video series and photos.

As we lose one chapter, we’re about to open another.
And this new chapter is filled with truth.
Get ready.

We have all heard kids say this and Dictionary.com has named it word of the year. So, to make this shirt worthwhile, with your purchase 30% of the profits will go to the non-profit Kids Feeding Kids. So not only will your child love wearing the exclusive T-shirt but helping other kids in the process.

LINK To purchase: Click Here

Also, on my shop I have fun Christmas and holiday stuff too! It’s never too early to shop!

COMING SOON: My Book, Part 1: Meet Me In The Penalty Box
Hint: It’s 2 parts. The paperback might be available before the ebook

Today, October 7, 2025 is my half birthday. The past six months have been filled with progression, growth, transformation, clarity and inner peace. But the last six months have also been filled with work. The reason I love writing non-fiction books is because it is work. Not that writing fiction isn’t work, those books take A LOT of patience to write and creativity.
Back in college I not only studied communications and journalism, but I also studied psychology, which was a key to writing so many articles and books of mine. The way the brain operates is very interesting and both men and women think differently.
This book, “Meet Me In The Penalty Box,” was no exception to all the research I had to do and getting to use the psych that I learned writing it, was amazing.

Here is a short, very short preview. Part 1 on Amazon will be October 13th and yes, it will be longer, much longer than this… about 95 pages long. And then part 2, which I announce the release of in part 1 will be the book in its entirety .

Meet Me In The Penalty Box

By: Stephanie Dolce

Table Of Contents

This book is NOT written in chapters, but in sections.

Each Section is an important part of the book as they transition into each other.

Section 1: All About The Victims

Section 2: Exploring the Topics of Culture, Dating and Relationships

Section 3: The Picket Fence Mentality

Section 4: The Trial

Section 5: Where Do We Go From Here?

Section 6: Extra! Extra!

NOTES: I will give you a skimmed preview- to read in detail you need to download it here:

Section 1: All About The Victims

The NHL is the only major professional sports league without a specific policy outlining consequences for players accused of sexual crimes or domestic abuse. There have been incidents within the league that have been quietly swept under the rug. One notable case involves Milan Lucic of the Boston Bruins, who assaulted his wife in 2023 over his cell phone, accusing her of hiding it.

Another ongoing case involves Evander Kane of the Edmonton Oilers. There have been other incidents, including Slava Voynov in 2015 and Austin Watson in 2018.

In 2021, two hockey players, Massimo Siciliano and Nicolas Daigle, former members of the Victoriaville Tigres in the QMJHL, sexually assaulted a seventeen-year-old girl. In 2023, both players pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting a minor and producing a recording of the event. As the team celebrated their championship, they assaulted the girl in a hotel room and filmed her without her knowledge. She agreed to go to the room with Daigle, but Siciliano was already there. (This mirrors a recurring pattern in hockey culture, as I will discuss later in the book.)

Then there’s the 2018 Canadian Junior Hockey Team case, where five NHL players were accused of sexual assault, shedding light on a broader issue. Another horrific cover-up involved the sexual assault of Chicago Blackhawks player Kyle Beach by former video coach Brad Aldrich, which was concealed by the head coach and players for ten years until it surfaced in 2021.

I must also mention New York Rangers player Artemi Panarin. In 2021, he was accused of sexual assault, but the allegations were dismissed because he is Russian and critical of Putin, leading some to believe it was a “set-up,” though evidence suggests otherwise.

In 2025, he was accused again of sexually assaulting a staff member by taking her phone and telling her to go to his hotel room to retrieve it. When she arrived, he allegedly threw her on the bed and got on top of her ( source NY Post and The Athletic)

In 2016, Patrick Kane, a star player, was accused of raping a 21-year-old woman outside his home in Buffalo, NY. The evidence bag containing the rape kit was tampered with, and, conveniently, Lucic’s wife was pressured by NHL officials and his agent not to testify against him. (Of course, this was the “rumor” but we all know that to be true, since all wives are “forced” to be silent. That case should have moved forward regardless, as the charges could have been proven beyond a reasonable doubt. Notably, Lucic was a prominent figure in the 2011 Stanley Cup win for the Bruins, likely receiving special treatment in a Boston courtroom, as many athletes do.

The most significant case to date involves the 2018 World Junior Hockey Championships with Team Canada. And also the second allegation against Michael McLeod that just came to light a few months ago.

We’ll discuss these cases in depth later, but for now, let’s explore what abuse really is and the differences between its types.

It’s important to note first: Most people misunderstand the word “abuse.”

People often assume it involves broken bones or black eyes. While there are severe physical indicators, abuse can be far less noticeable and much more insidious. Let’s break down each type of abuse.

( they are broken up in part 1 that you can download now!)

Why Do Victims Delay Reporting?

Victims often blame themselves, amplifying feelings of inadequacy. Seemingly innocent questions from others can trigger self-doubt. Sexual assault is humiliating to recount, and victims fear repercussions like job loss, damaged credibility, or physical harm. The belief that women fabricate allegations for attention further discourages reporting. Survivors face heightened risks of depression, PTSD, substance abuse, and suicide.

In addition to the psychological harm online abuse can cause, it can also be a precursor for in-person violence. (Footnote: APA organization)

Teenage boys will begin to establish such patterns when their violent dating behaviors are reinforced by members of their peer group and by society as a whole. 
Their expectations of a girlfriend may include that she gives up certain activities and other relationships in order to give priority to her boyfriend. 



This is why basic chicks fit the mold/pattern for hockey players. They find women who will conform to what the boyfriend wants and accepts their dominance in the relationship. This includes that he be sexually aggressive, make all the decisions, and he will control her activities and behavior.

If you look clearly at all the women who end up marrying a profressional hockey player in the NHL, you will see the pattern that none of them are ‘bigger” than their husband’s stardom. They are not with well-known models, actresses, women athletes, or any other “celebrity.”

They are with women who are either homemakers, stay-at-home moms, or those women who freelance online with some type of online entrepreneurship. This would go against the sexist attitudes that support male domination over females, if they were a star bigger than they are. I break this down from a psychological standpoint in the next section.

This is why most women who are married or dating an NHL player, have no idea what a healthy relationship actually looks like. 


A common mistake for starters is that people who are toxic never apologize for doing wrong, like some believe, and in turn blame the victim. This behavior forces women to stay in the relationship longer than they should.

_________We forward to other parts of the section____________

NHL and Gender Dynamics

NHL players often marry women who conform to traditional roles (e.g., homemakers or freelancers) rather than high-profile figures, reinforcing male dominance. The NHL’s lack of a domestic violence/sexual assault policy is a glaring gap, especially as it promotes women’s empowerment (e.g., celebrating Jessica Campbell, the first female NHL assistant coach in 2025) while failing to protect women in the league.
The NHL’s workforce is 61.86% male and 36.81% female, with women primarily in marketing roles (29.5%) and men dominating executive, hockey operations, and PR positions. Sexism in the workplace includes disrespectful practices that favor men or exclude women.

Explanation
• Type: Pie chart ( which is in the section)


The #MeToo back in 2017, has led to backlash and coverups.

_________ We forward to other parts of the section__________

The NHL has been actively developing elite female talent through its officiating mentorship program, the Officials’ Exposure Combine, and participation at NHL Rookie Tournaments. 

Kendall Hanley was among four fantastic women, including Kelly Cooke, Katie Guay and Kirsten Welsh, selected to work at NHL Prospect Tournaments during the first weekend of September 2019. Katie Guay, became the first woman to referee in the American Hockey League (AHL) in 2021.

BUT if you look at the website for ACTIVE NHL referees and linesmen, there are NO CURRENT WOMEN on that list. 

See, this is the typical problem of the NHL. 
They ‘say” and “claim” they are working with women to get women involved just to make folks happy and then NOTHING happens because folks forget about it and the NHL wins in not completely empowering women.

The fact that there is data that was collected in 2011 and updated in 2023.

It shows you that most men are mostly in positions of exectives, Hockey operations, Training, and PR departments. Oh, one more thing: I get asked this a lot, What counts as sexism at work?

The answer I generally give is, a lack of respect and masculine practices which intimidate or exclude women and favor fellow men. Sexism includes being treated less favorably than colleagues of the opposite gender, even when qualifications and experience are equal.

______We Forward to other parts in the section________

NHL-Specific Context

The NHL’s gender inequalities, noting its male-dominated workforce (61.86% male vs. 36.81% female) and lack of a policy addressing domestic violence or sexual harassment.

Examples like Jessica Campbell facing dismissive attitudes (“our team would never hire a female”) and the under-representation of women in high-level roles (e.g., only six women as assistant general managers) illustrate systemic sexism.

The NHL’s failure to address high-profile cases (e.g., Milan Lucic, Artemi Panarin) further perpetuates a culture where women’s safety and credibility are undervalued.

______We Fast Forward To Other Parts In The Section ___________

But will Gary Betmann and Marty Walsh ( Head of the NHLPA) ever consider this?

I think that is the question of the hour.

Onto Section 2: Exploring The Topics Of Culture, Dating and Relationships

( Here is a preview of Section 2)

As we explore the topic of culture, let’s first get an exact definition of what culture is and then talk about the five elements that define culture before we dive into discussing the culture of the NHL and how it developed, etc.
Culture refers to the shared beliefs, values, customs, and ways of life of a group of people. It encompasses a wide range of aspects, including language, religion, cuisine, social habits, music, and art. Essentially, it’s the collective programming of the mind that distinguishes one group from another.

The elements of culture are based on the following principles:
1. values and beliefs
2. norms
3. symbols
4. language
5. rituals

Aspects of culture surrounding language include body language, spoken word, and symbols, which are components of culture that are non-material.

Values and Beliefs

In a culture, values are the core principles and beliefs that a society considers important, guiding its members’ behavior and shaping their perceptions of what is good and just. Beliefs, on the other hand, are the specific tenets or convictions that people hold to be true, often reflecting a society’s understanding of the world and its place within it.

It is important to note that almost every human behavior, from shopping to marriage to expressions of feelings, is learned. Behavior based on learned customs is not always a bad thing. Being familiar with unwritten rules helps people feel secure and “normal.” Also, perhaps such cultural traditions are comforting in that they seem to have already worked well enough for our forefathers to have retained them.
Most people want to live their daily lives confident that their behaviors will not be challenged or disrupted, as long as they don’t include limiting basic human rights.

The objects or belongings of a group of people are considered material culture. Non material culture, in contrast, consists of the ideas, attitudes, and beliefs of a society. Material and non material aspects of culture are linked, and physical objects often symbolize cultural ideas.

However, many do not often live up to this idea. For example, murder is not a means for an ideal value in many cultures, but occasionally it occurs through an act of passionate rage. The values of a culture determine many other aspects, such as in Japan, where research suggests citizens are more focused on others than their American counterparts.

Norms are aspects of culture that humans live by, standards set up to tell one right from wrong. Cultural norms are different from beliefs in that they are specific guidelines passed down from parents and elders, rather than views on the world that tend to be more philosophical. In addition, norms exist even on a small scale. A formal norm is something that is specifically taught, whereas an informal norm is observed and then mimicked.

An example of a formal norm may include how most Americans eat with silverware because that is how they were taught as children. However, if someone were to eat at a restaurant with their hands instead of silverware, this would be considered a folkway.

A folkway is an action disapproved of by society that is not punished. However, if a person were to steal a car outside that same restaurant, this would be considered cultural mores. A cultural mores is a disapproved action that is punishable.

______ We fast Forward to Other parts in the section ________

A smart man realizes it’s better to grow with a smart woman because he’s never satisfied with his basic chick and that’s why you don’t see more of those smart men who play in the national hockey league with intelligent women. (Now, I don’t mean that as an insult) They don’t accept bare minimum simple because they can provide bare minimum for themselves. We don’t need men, men need us. If a man can manipulate you into making you believe he loves you, you’re done hence that’s why they choose basic chicks, most likely under the age of 26.

______We fast forward to other parts in the section________

Here is what happens to our brains when we are conformed to one way of thinking.

They were two Stanford students Nook and Zaki, who conducted a study where they asked folks to report on their liking of different foods. (Chips, fruit, veggies)

They were displayed in a series of photos. After they rated each item, they were shown bogus statistics as to how folks voted for each food and felt about the food and question, then they were asked to write the foods again after knowing how others voted and felt about the foods. The finding showed that mostly everyone conformed to what the other is basically said and changed their original views because they wanted to be in agreement with others.

Our desire for social rewards doesn’t only affect our behavior, it affects our emotions, as deep as we feel about who we are.

And guess what age conformity starts? Adolescence when the NHL players are playing junior hockey.

In your teen years, our self-concept is not informed by how our peers treat us, but it is fully affected by our experiences. Our sense of identity seems to be influenced by the positive and negative feedback we receive. We need to be late so we conform to being the same and having the same things.

Our bodies are programmed to care about popularity, so we tend to follow the herd because then that means we don’t stand out, but we fit in and today God forbid if you stand out.

And in the NHL, it just gets worse.

______Fast forward to other parts of the section_______

The screenshots I have of NHL-players IG, shows you in nutshell, if they either are married for convenience, “The Picket Fence Mentality” or are they truly married for love? A man who truly is in love with his wife will not only post her up, but will. BRAG about her and her accomplishments to his friends and teammates, not just his family.

A narcissist will neglect their partner and/or children in multiple ways but gladly help a teammate, neighbor or stranger. It’s all about their image and getting praise from others. They save their abusive behavior for behind closed doors.

This is something that most people don’t understand nor recognize. And yes, how an athlete utilizes social media in regard to posting up his GF or wife says A LOT about his character or lack thereof.

You can finish reading Section 2 where I talk in DETAIL about the culture and dive into gambling, drugs and other aspects of it, when the paperback is released on the anniversary of when my post on X went viral on November 15th

The book that everybody has been waiting for is finally arriving on your shelf soon .

more to come!

We live in a culture that praises weight loss. The message we’re sending is that you only look good because you lost weight.
Fat phobia- because of our intent, we perpetuate diet culture, and fat phobia when we compliment someone on their smaller body. Our society praises weight loss as if it’s the best thing a person could ever do. Not only that, but we comment on people’s bodies without having any idea what is going on in their lives.

Last week Jennifer Love Hewitt made more women in their 40s so happy that someone in Hollywood actually looks like them. She didn’t run off to use ozempic and she didn’t go ahead and do a crazy-ass diet. She is what women are SUPPOSED to look like and she was so proud of her body!

We “assume” that their weight loss is “positive”, when it could be due to a chronic illness or an eating disorder. All unsolicited comments about someone’s body are bad and shouldn’t be praised because no one asked for them. Even if someone asks, we shouldn’t even give them one when actually we should take it a step further and tell people that they don’t want to receive those comments.

We should be telling people to focus on who that person is not by what that person looks like. If only people did this on social media.

Social media is the perfect environment, unfortunately, where the diet culture flourishes. It thrives on comments from men who think they know that certain bodies are “better and hotter” than others. Yes, guys who are losing their hair, have beer bellies, droopy chests and butts, are telling women that they all need to look like a goddamn Barbie doll, when they themselves are so far away from representing Ken.

Women who already have suffered from a body image disorder, get triggered by those comments and now are drawn back into the diet culture. And for what? To please all the men who you don’t know on social media, who basically have their own insecurities about their own looks and projected on women?

The sad reality is, if you look on social media and even dating apps, all men want this fantasy woman who is 5 feet tall 5 inches, 130 pounds, size 2, blonde hair, and blue eyes, who accepts bare minimum, and who could pass for either a Victoria’s Secret model or a Barbie doll. What they don’t realize is that a woman’s looks is never going to raise their children. Her mindset will.

Men never focus on who a woman really is, speaking in terms of her personality, mentality, and character. But they only focus on how hot she looks so his teammates, and friends can be extremely jealous of his arm candy.

Oh, once you hit 35 and you’re a woman you’re old and decrepit according to social media.

If only men could stop being, “so full of themselves,” and stop trying to “fit in” focusing on loving a woman for who they truly are. But instead, they don’t want to embrace that main character energy. They wanna focus on what isn’t instead of what is.

I guess the question really is this : do we really want to spend our lives agonizing over trying to make others happy instead of making each day we live the best days we’ve ever had? When are we going to realize that nobody at your funeral is going to say the following: “ I remember so-and-so, she was a size 4 all her life, she was always so skinny, she was always looking hot and beautiful, etc”

They are going to remember how you made others feel, how you lived life and the kindness you showed others . That’s a life worth remembering.

As you well know by following this blog and if you follow me on social, you know that I am writing a book called, “Meet Me In The Penalty Box,” which exposes the NHL culture to a tee. Here’s a excerpt of the book: the first two sections: All About The Victims and Exploring the Topic Of Culture

Did you know, in 2022, there were 1.37 million domestic violence crimes committed in the US. According to the CDC, in 2022, women reported intimate partner violence around 41%

These are topics that women try and avoid talking about because they are embarrassed to admit that they have been in an abusive relationship or they feel ashamed that they succumbed to a man who tricked them into believing that he loved her by abusing her.

What does all this have to do with the NHL? (National Hockey League) 


The NHL is the ONLY major pro-sports league without a league specific policy outlining what happens to players who are accused of sexual crimes and domestic abuse. 

There have been incidents within the league that the league have stayed quiet about and have swept it under the rug, so to speak. (I then get into many different cases)

The question that everyone seems to have in regards to violence against women is where does this start to form in a man’s life?

Why does he intentionally want to hurt someone who is seen as loving and caring towards him?

And how do women play a role in being manipulated into falling into a pattern of trusting violent men with their lives? 



Dating Violence

Violence in teen relationships predicts violence in adulthood. In the United States, up to 19% of teens experience sexual or physical dating violence, about half face stalking or harassment, and as many as 65% report being psychologically abused ( Stats are from Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention)

In many cases, violence can happen when young people don’t yet have the skills to manage conflict, cope with feelings of jealousy, and navigate rejection. Many teens perceive this type of behavior as “normal” and a way to express love in intimate relationships.

The truth of the matter is this: Teen dating violence seems to be overlooked, not only in the scientific community but in society at large. It’s developmentally appropriate for young people to explore their sexuality.

But as a society we haven’t figured out how to support that while protecting them from a risk of violence. Added pressures today include social media and how sexuality is perceived.

According to 2019 data from the CDC’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey, about 1 in 12 teens experience physical dating violence and about the same number face sexual dating violence. Other studies suggest rates may be higher, especially when accounting for psychological forms of abuse.

In one nationally representative study of young people ages 14 to 21, 51% of females and 43% of males reported being victims of at least one type of dating violence, while 50% of females and 35% of males reported perpetrating at least one type.

Girls as young as age 6 have been taught for generations to accept the fact that when a boy pulls your hair, trips you, pokes you, laughs at you, or does anything else to you, this is a clue that he “likes you.”

Little girls have been conformed and trained to accept this behavior from boys as an expression of interest, which means we have been training girls that it is normal for guys to physically, mentally, and emotionally abuse us as an expression of love.

Teen boys who abuse dating partners are more than likely to have experienced child abuse or neglect. Teen boys who are abusers, are more likely to use alcohol or drugs than their nonviolent counterparts.



Teen boys who abuse their partners then to have sexist attitudes that support male domination over females.



In some cases, dating violence may be part of a pattern of antisocial or aggressive behavior.

But much of the time, teens may simply not know how to manage the emotions and conflicts that arise as they enter their first relationships.

Patterns in teen relationships are similar to adult battering relationships – they involve the same elements of control and jealousy. Teen girls and women describe the same range of violent experiences from slaps and shoves, to beatings and attacks with weapons. 

There are several youth-specific aspects to their relationships- 
Pressure to conform to peer-group norms which contributes to an emphasis on having a specific dating partner. 
Peer pressure can be so intense and the fear of being different, or of violating peer-group norms, can create rigid conformity.

Teenage boys will begin to establish such patterns when their violent dating behaviors are reinforced by members of their peer group and by society as a whole.

Their expectations of a girlfriend may include that she gives up certain activities and other relationships in order to give priority to her boyfriend. 

This is why basic chicks fit the mold/pattern for hockey players.

They find women who will conform to what the boyfriend wants and accepts their dominance in the relationship. This includes that he be sexually aggressive, make all the decisions, and he will control her activities and behavior…..

(Section 2: Exploring the Topic of Culture)

The United States also has an individualistic culture, meaning people place a high value on individuality and independence. In contrast, many other cultures are collectivist, meaning the welfare of the group and group relationships is a primary value.
Living up to a culture’s values can be difficult. It’s easy to value good health, but it’s hard to quit smoking. Marital monogamy is valued, but many spouses engage in infidelity. Cultural diversity and equal opportunities for all people are valued in the United States, yet the country’s highest political offices have been dominated by white men.
In many cultures, women are expected to be responsible for things that men are not. And, there are more pressures put on girls and women to look young and youthful no matter how old she is. Women’s full and equal participation in all facets of society is a fundamental human right. Yet, around the world, from politics to sports to the workplace, women and girls are largely underrepresented.

While the specific expectations have varied across cultures and time periods, core assumptions about women’s roles have persisted for millennia. Let’s take a brief look at how the values and beliefs women “should” follow enfolded…..

Today, this is how women see themselves:

Today this is how men still want to see women:

A traditional woman is a woman who follows older established principles of femininity. But today, women are pushing away from being a “traditional woman” because men today are pushing away from being, “a traditional man.”

What is a traditional man?

He is someone who adheres to conventional, often historical, gender roles and expectations. This may include traits like being a provider, protector, and head of the household, with a focus on strength, and dominance. Basically he follows established principles of masculinity.

Men before the social media era had more strength, courage, and discipline than today’s men. Men used to be better men, and more men wanted to be more like that. Today though, men rather complain about women being masculine and not feminine.

Maybe this is news to a lot of men but women take self-defense courses because we’re told we need to protect ourselves from men. Instead of men learning to be better men. The value of women is not limited to their sex appeal. Treat women the way you would treat any normal person. How you speak, walk, move your body or go about everyday life has nothing to do with masculinity, aside from other people’s preconceived ideas.

When most men think of “manliness”, they think of the fantastical archetypes we’ve been inundated with since childhood:

James Bond, Ernest Hemmingway, Captain America, and the list goes on.

They think that manliness is about hunting big game, or knowing how to fight, or sleeping with dozens of women, or driving a fast car. But these activities do not make one manly. Manliness, or as I prefer to call it “masculinity”, is about the principles by which you operate and the way that you commit yourself to various pursuits in life.
I would argue that developing your masculinity just as women develop their femininity, is based on a handful of simple principles…..

When women are assaulted, their past gets investigated.
When men assault, their future gets protected.
When women get assaulted, it’s like society treats them like a criminal first, not a victim. But men? Oh no, their futures need to be protected at all costs. The only thing that matters is making sure they get a “second chance” while she’s left fighting for her dignity. This victim-blaming crap isn’t just sick, it’s a systematic pile-on designed to keep her in the dirt while they get to walk away unscathed.

What does all this have to do with the NHL and their culture?

Well, let me start off by saying this: Culture isn’t an excuse for abuse. And abuse is silent no matter what type of abuse it is emotionally mental, physical or sexual.

And the fact that people know that it’s happening and they close the blind eye to it or they sweep it under the rug or they try to hide it as fast as they can, shows you the nature of this problem isn’t small. The NHL is very good at covering this up and that shows you that they know right from wrong but they don’t care.

And to all those guys that I see commenting on this type of thing on Instagram, Facebook and Threads is disturbing.
The main comment is that, we as women will never get rid of sexual assault. That’s that is correct statement because we’re never going to get rid of hate, we’re never going to get rid of violence 100%, but the fact that you don’t even want to think about how you can make things better for not just yourself but those around you, show that you are part of the problem, not the solution.

It’s always amazing to me. How guys are more worried about the accusations of their favorite athletes than the violence itself .
Defending them with the my favorite sayings, “she was a whore,” “She wanted it now she’s regretting it.” And my ultimate favorite, “Innocent until proven guilty.”
There’s also another one, “She consented so this didn’t happen.”

They just don’t understand what consent and not consent is and even if she consented in the beginning, a woman has a right to change her consent at any point given in time.
When a woman says no or stop or I don’t want to do this and you don’t listen to her, you are raping her. It doesn’t matter if she’s your wife, it doesn’t matter if she’s your girlfriend, it doesn’t matter if she’s your partner, it doesn’t matter if she’s a hooker from the street, it does not matter.

And that is where the problem then grows.

The hockey culture is four things, alcohol, drugs, sex and gambling.

(To Be Continued)

If you follow this blog or my podcast, you know that for over the past year I have been preaching and talking about how the NHL’s culture is very sexist and has a misogyny tone.
I have pointed out cases when this happened, not to mention my own experience. Well, today we found out that the New York Rangers and the NHL have been covering up ( Surprise… but not really) Artemi Panarin’s alleged sexual assault of a former MSG staffer.
The story which broke from Katie Strang, of the Athletic, which is the following: The Rangers and Artemi Panarin reached settlements in August 2024 with a former female employee regarding a sexual assault claim, stemming from a December 2023 incident where Panarin took the employee’s phone, and would not give it back to her until she came to his hotel room, where he allegedly pinned her down on a bed, she pushed him off, and left.

As also told by beat writer, Vince Mercogliano, The woman, who was not identified in the report, reached agreements with Panarin and MSG Sports, which included non-disclosure and no admission of wrongdoing clauses, and then left the company.

The Club retained an outside law firm to conduct an independent investigation, which the League was fully apprised of. We consider the matter closed,” the NHL said in a statement. The league and Rangers declined to say whether Panarin was disciplined regarding the situation. 

The female employee felt she was treated unfairly, according to team sources, and she then informed the team about the alleged assault. In February 2021, Panarin stepped away from the team for personal reasons after a Russian newspaper reported claims he was involved in a physical altercation with a woman in Latvia that year.

It’s important to note that when the Rangers were investigating a separate matter involving the same employee giving “anti-anxiety medicine” to a player on a team flight. The Rangers’ social media employees were no longer permitted to travel with the team as a result.

It’s also important to note that Jess Isner, who was the social media admin for the Boston Bruins and the Phoenix Coyotes prior to being the social media admin of the New York Rangers from 2019-2023  is no longer the admin and all her social media has been deleted.
The public may not realize just how many victims of any crime blame themselves for their own victimization. Self blame is one of the most toxic forms of emotional abuse. It amplifies our perceived inadequacies, whether real or imagined, and paralyzes us before we can even begin to move forward. Seemingly innocent questions from family and friends can trigger self-doubt and prevent victims from reporting to police.

They may also question what they did wrong and believe it was their fault. Sexual harassment and assault can be a humiliating experience to recount privately, let alone publicly. Victims of sexual harassment and sexual assault in adulthood or sexual abuse in childhood tend to feel shame, because as human beings, we want to believe hat we have control over what happens to us. When that personal power is challenged by a victimization of any kind, we feel humiliated.

Another reason women don’t go to the police is that they fear of the repercussions when it comes to reporting sexual harassment or assault — fear of losing their job, fear they won’t find another job, fear they will be passed over for a promotion, fear of losing their credibility, fear of being branded a troublemaker, fear of being blackballed in their industry, fear of their physical safety, etc. The fact that sexual misconduct is the most under-reported crime is due to a common belief that women make up these stories for attention or to get back at a man who rejected them. Victims’ accounts are often scrutinized to the point of exhaustion.

Also women feel it is useless to come forward, because they have seen the way others have been treated. They feel it is hopeless, because they won’t be believed, and their reputations will be tainted, if not ruined. Women who have already been sexually assaulted or harassed feel especially helpless, since the chances are extremely high that they did not receive the justice they so desperately needed.

To all the men out there focusing so much energy on trying to figure out why victims don’t report, it would be far more productive to ask, “Why do we allow men to continue to sexually harass and assault women?”

FYI: Next Tuesday in a courtroom in London, Ont., five former members of Canada’s 2018 World Juniors team go on trial, 15 months after they were charged with sexual assault.

Michael McLeod, Carter Hart, Alex Formenton, Cal Foote, and Dillon Dube have all pleaded not guilty. McLeod faces a second sexual assault charge as a party to the offense.

And to those men who think what happened with Panarin wasn’t “sexual assault” there are 3 levels of sexual assault and it doesn’t always include sexual intercourse. Level 1 involves minor physical injuries or no injuries to the victim. Sexual assault Level 2: Sexual assault with a weapon, threats, or causing bodily harm. Aggravated sexual assault. Level 3: Sexual assault that results in wounding, maiming, disfiguring or endangering the life of the victim.

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