Alison S. Moore's Blog

 


I was so excited to start this year's 21 Days of Prayer. I was expecting God to move in a BIG way so I planned to attend each prayer service at 6:00 a.m. to strengthen my relationship with God, REALLY experience Him and listen as He made my life's purpose and ministry plain.

Every day was awesome; every day I received a new breakthrough or revelation. On that 3rd day, my life was shook. That afternoon my Nephrologist recommended I start dialysis immediately. I was devastated! I had been believing God that I would get a kidney transplant before going on dialysis. This was not the plan.

My Nephrologist reminded me that ESRD didn't have to be my LIFE. I could still live a normal one. My spiritual mentor assured me that going to dialysis didn't mean I didn't have enough faith.
I wrestled in my mind on whether or not to follow my doctor's recommendation. I mean, when I look at myself  in the mirror I don't see a sick person.



On the 17th day of prayer, the minister instructed us to take three minutes to think of a time when God really came through for us. While continuing his instructions, I heard him say, "Who is in the boat with you?" I immediately started crying and praising God.
This was so amazing because that was the exact phrase God gave me to share with my mother in 2014 when she was in the hospital critically ill. All of her doctor's thought she wasn't going to make it but I told her God said to remember who was in the boat with her. She lived another year and a half.
So on this 21st day, I know who is in the boat with me! "Who is this man that even the winds and the waves obey Him?"  Matthew 8: 23-27 NIV

 

I was so excited to start this year's 21 Days of Prayer. I was expecting God to move in a BIG way so I planned to attend each prayer service at 6:00 a.m. to strengthen my relationship with God, REALLY experience Him and listen as He made my life's purpose and ministry plain.

Every day was awesome; every day I received a new breakthrough or revelation. On that 3rd day, my life was shook. That afternoon my Nephrologist recommended I start dialysis immediately. I was devastated! I had been believing God that I would get a kidney transplant before going on dialysis. This was not the plan.

My Nephrologist reminded me that ESRD didn't have to be my LIFE. I could still live a normal one. My spiritual mentor assured me that going to dialysis didn't mean I didn't have enough faith.

I wrestled in my mind on whether or not to follow my doctor's recommendation. I mean, when I look at myself  in the mirror I don't see a sick person.



On the 17th day of prayer, the minister instructed us to take three minutes to think of a time when God really came through for us. While continuing his instructions, I heard him say, "Who is in the boat with you?" I immediately started crying and praising God.

This was so amazing because that was the exact phrase God gave me to share with my mother in 2014 when she was in the hospital critically ill. All of her doctor's thought she wasn't going to make it but I told her God said to remember who was in the boat with her. She lived another year and a half.

So on this 21st day, I know who is in the boat with me! "Who is this man that even the winds and the waves obey Him?"  Matthew 8: 23-27 NIV



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I'm angry, and I don't really care what they say...
I'm angry, nobody better get in my way...
I'm fightin, I'm bustin, I'm poppin
I'm caught up in a rage, man somebody better stop me...
I'm hatin', I'm pushin', I'm shovin'
Somebody better get me 'cause I'm 'bout to do somethin'...
I'm angry...

~Lecrae, "Anger Management"

"Your mother has kidney cancer. She is very weak from her other conditions and chemo will do more harm than good; basically it would kill her. We suggest that we just keep her comfortable and let it run its course."
They may as well have signed her death certificate right there; she was already dead in their eyes. No need for any further investigation, explanation or exploration. It doesn't matter that she had the same scan that revealed the cancer, just two months prior and they didn't catch it then.
Doctor's suck.
You entrust them with your life and the life of your loved ones. You trust them to use their knowledge, education, skills and abilities to give you the best care. But instead they only treat symptoms without being concerned about the origin.
Do I sound angry about it? I am and I really don't care what anyone has to say.
If I wasn't sure that my mother's time on earth was done; that she was tired of struggling and hurting and baffling her doctor's, this anger would eat me alive.
I am confident my mom is having a ball with her road dog and sister Shirley. I'm convinced she has a lot to say to her sister Brenda Jean because she had been calling out for her in her sleep for months. And hopefully reunited with her first born son, Corey. My mother is no longer in pain, is walking straight up with no assistance and has placed that oxygen tank down for good.
Doctors may play god, we may treat them as saviors but they are merely human beings who mess up on their job just like I mess up on mine. But God, He is the only one who can truly heal; whether it is on this earth or in eternity. Only He gets to say, "It is done." Because of that, it is well with my soul. That's how I manage my anger.

My Mama 





                                                                                                                                               My mama amazed me Regal and always fit to be seen Hard worker, organized housekeeper, active mother With time left over to relax and read and play Words with Friends.

My mama, the toilet paper fairy

She celebrated everything Black, and Made sure everything in our home reflected our true heritage. 


 



I rebelled against most of the good home training she taught me. Meaning well, she constantly asked if my house was clean Then whispered to herself, “Mind your business, Liz.” Followed by, “Your friend’s husbands don’t have any friends to introduce you too?


My mama
It doesn’t seem real.


Your price was far above rubies (I know you preferred 20 pearls), The heart of your husband trusted in you. Together you all went through a lot, til’ death did you part



My mama, my biggest fan Everything I have, I owe to my mama. She was sweet and gentle but direct With a quick wit, sarcastic sense of humor and unforgettable retorts.


I it get that from my mama.

A WRITERS READ REVIEW
It's not nice to pit two sisters against one other....but, Tina Campbell is my favorite sister in the gospel duo, Mary Mary. Tina is bold, outspoken and vulnerable all at the same time. For 4 seasons now, she has allowed the world to witness her beautiful flaws and see the hurt done to her by her husband's ongoing infidelity on Mary Mary's reality show.
In honor of the 5th season, premiering tonight on WeTV, I've listed  a few of my favorite quotes and prayers from Tina's book. Tina wrote I Need A Day To Pray on the road of restoration in herself and her marriage. She gave her heartache over to God and He helped her to maintain, sustain and succeed. Through it all, Tina birthed a passionate solo album, It's Personal and this book of prayers and scriptures.
I hope these words bless you as much as they have blessed me.         Before the turmoil   "I loved the Lord and chose to have a relationship with Him but I struggled, for many years, to have a committed walk."



After learning of her husband's infidelity
 "During this process I said some very harsh things, made some very crazy choices, planned and plotted more horrible things, and didn't always have much sign of victory, but I kept confessing, believing, and telling God that I meant what I was praying no matter how much of a fool I was acting. I prayed, but then partially took vengeance into my own hands, I confessed the Word of God, but then cursed the people who hurt me.  I stood, then fell, then got back up, then started all over again."  "I didn't feel victorious, but I confessed it. I got discouraged and fell but got back up and stood on the Word of God that I was reading, listening to and confessing."       Tina's prayers
"No one other than You can meet every spoken, unspoken, and even unaware need that I have, so Dear Heavenly Father, I come to Your throne of grace right now to find help because I am in need."   "So, by faith, Lord, I confess this year to be my year of gratitude, optimism, rededication, maturation, complete deliverance, healing and restoration, knowledge, wisdom, revelation and illumination, increased capacity, and divine authority."    Tina and Teddy's (her husband) prayers   "We let go of all the unhealthy experiences and prospectives of our past as they diminish the joys of our present and ruin the hope of our future. We thank You for giving us beauty for ashes, joy for grief, and the Spirit of praise for the spirit of heaviness."   “We thank You that all thoughts of, memories of, and appetites for any other man or woman are removed from us and never returns again.”   “We thank You, Father, for making us greater together than we will ever be apart.”   “We thank You, Father, that divorce is not an option in this marriage so the discussion of such will never be entertained.”   “We thank You, Father, that our family prays together and will stay together, happily and lovingly, through the submission to Your Word and the leadership of my husband (and) myself.”

     A WRITERS READ REVIEW    I read The Lying Gameby Sara Shepard as part of my reading challenge last year as a book turned into a T.V. show. I loved the show on ABC Family but to my disappointment, it only lasted for two seasons. I love many shows on ABC Family, now known as FREEFORM, like The Fosters and Switched at Birth. Don't judge me, I could still be considered to be in the demographic for young adult (YA) novels. So, I should have loved the book, right? The book had an intriguing and engaging story; sort of like a mystery/thriller. The goal was to figure out who killed the narrator who had just discovered she had a twin sister in foster care. The show was set up quite differently from the book. I can't decide which version I liked better. Yes I can, the T.V. show. First of all the book was badly written which was baffling to me because this author has had more than one of her YA novels turned into TV shows.
  The book was hard to read. It was narrated by the twin that was eventually murdered but sometimes the newly discovered twin would jump in the driver’s seat making the book painful to read. I was often confused of who was talking, when. I didn't give up on the book because I wanted to know how the T.V. series differed from the book and most importantly, who killed the narrator. Unfortunately, I would have had to read 5 more books to find that out and I wasn't going to put myself through that, so I just looked it up on Wikipedia. I can tell you, I did not think that person was the killer. I can’t say I gleaned any life lessons from this book but it did cause me to look at my work more critically as a writer. You should pick it up if you are looking for an intriguing, entertaining story but not too picky on writing technique.

 My niece and nephew just started a new school in Grovetown GA. When I asked them separately what they liked about their new school both of them told me about the three academies available to them. From my understanding, these academies are like electives in addition to their regular classes. When I was in school, we called it exploratory.
Brandon is in the Coding Academy which I think is way cool! Genesis said she was in the Manners Academy- you know etiquette, she clarified.
I often say girls are taught how to be ladies, how to carry themselves and how not to act but who are teaching the guys how to be gentlemen and how not to act?
Now lets get past the usual arguments: no father figures in the home. Where I'm from, even if the parents aren't together, the fathers are still involved in their children's lives. Another argument: if girls acted the way they are supposed to then guys would have no choice but treat them with respect.
One of my favorite shows on television right now is American Crime. Now this show deals with deep issues I am not qualified to speak on. But one topic they touch on is how does a boy learn to be a man.


In the midst of other situations, the show follows one teenage male who is one of the captains of the basketball team at his elite private high school, Leyland Academy. This character can not keep his hands to himself. I mean, he seems to be deliriously overcome with hormones. His mom is always warning him that all girls want to do is use and trap him because he is good looking, talented and comes from money. What kind of message is that sending to her son?

In Episode 6, he was commiserating with his teammates how his mom is always telling him how all "b*tches" just want to use him. He goes on to say:

The messed up thing is b*tches get to act the way they act and you still have to treat them like, like people, he said with disgust. Back in the day you could just be pop, pop and be done with it. Now, b*tches get to act how they act and you can't do nothing.

Again I say, who is teaching young men to not take advantage of girls just because they can? Who is teaching our young men to be respectful to a lady even if she isn't being respectful to herself? Who is teaching them that a girl's body is not theirs for the taking?  

As Christians, if we taught our young men the ways of Christ instead of gender mores and traditions, they would be taught respect for women by default.

There needs to be a Manners Academy at Leyland Academy and the rest of the world. For it not to be, is a crime and a shame.

American Crime airs at 10:00/9:00 p.m central on ABC.

 "If this man didn't get out of jail after his last stent, he wouldn't have had the opportunity to kill your brother."

I have the beige knit sweater my brother received for Christmas; his last Christmas. When my mom found it in the laundry room weeks after his death, she ran up the stairs crying. She gave it to me and told me to keep it as a memento. I still have it. I usually wear it on the anniversary of his death which was yesterday February 9th, 21 years ago. The knitting on that sweater has come apart and there are huge gaps in it. I tell myself that's the style I'm going for to justify wearing that tattered garment.  Last Wednesday, me, my brother's 21 year old son and his mother drove to Montgomery AL for the parole hearing of the convicted killer just as we did 5 years ago.  Partly due to my nephew's declaration to the parole board that he only wants to hear his dad say he's proud of him and the sheer fact that he should, the convict's  sentence was extended by 5 more years.  I always have mixed feelings about these parole hearings. No matter what happens, my brother will still be dead.  The quote above is what the victim's advocate said to me the first time this guy was up for parole. Her comment gave me pause; I had never thought of it that way. That man should not have had a chance to kill somebody else's baby and "that's the truth, Ruth." My nephew, my brother's son was only 3 months old when his father was killed.


Spike Lee's new musical satire, Chiraq, brought up more uncomfortable feelings, mainly since I knew the parole hearing was coming up. As the title suggests, the movie compares the violence in Chicago's black community with a war zone; i.e. Iraq. According to Spike Lee, there have been more murders in Chicago in the past ten years than American casualties in the recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The violence in my hometown, Birmingham AL seems to be on its way to rival those numbers. There is a different murder report on my Facebook feed posted by my local news every morning when I sign in.


The movie also exposes the absurdity of police officers killing just as many black men as the men in gangs kill each other. We often hear, "what about black on black crime," as a counterargument to police brutality but as Lystralla said in Chiraq, we still deserve respect. Angela Bassett's character asserts, "if gun laws didn't change after Sandy Hook, black lives are way out of range."


There is absolutely no value of human life on any level anymore by anyone. That is the current state of our culture. How did that come to be? It is baffling to me. Chiraq pointed out that there used to be a gang code to never hurt children or the elderly but now its every man for himself.

All of my favorite shows- Grey's Anatomy, How to Get Away with Murder, Empire and of course, Scandal are on hiatus. American Crime is back though! I digress.

I watch re-runs on Hulu of my favorite shows to get my fix. Every time I watch Scandal, I am intrigued by how loyal her employees/friends are at Olivia Pope and Associates (OPA). (By the way, Scandal returns in just 3 weeks on February 11th!) In life, if you have a tight knit group of 2-3 friends you are doing good. True friends; friends that will help you stay out of trouble are essential in navigating this mean, cold world. I am so grateful to God for my close friends Amber, Angela and Coretta.  A few months ago my father's cousin passed away suddenly. She was in her late fifties and hadn't kept in touch with any of her family members besides my father. But, she had this close knit group of friends and a devoted boyfriend. The responsibility of planning her funeral fell on my father's shoulders and he did a beautiful job. I was  impressed with how insistent her friends were for her to have a proper burial complete with a chapel service and repast instead of just a graveside service.   Olivia Pope is not that kind of friend. The people that work for her are supposed to be more like family than friends but from the beginning, she has been doing her buddy Huck wrong.     For the two people in the world who do not watch Scandal, Huck is a United States-trained assassin and torturer who LOVED his job but started having disagreements with his boss. Huck credits Olivia for saving him; delivering him from that horrid, inhumane life and is aiding him in his recovery. Yet, in Screwtape-like fashion,  she constantly asks Huck to use his prior job experience to help her do her job. She'll say, "Huck, can you handle this? Is this going to set you back? If it is, you don't have to do it."     How do you ask an addict to do their preferred drug of choice and not be negatively affected by it? And of course Huck is not going to say no to the woman who saved him. Really, who needs friends like that?! That's a toxic situation. Olivia pretends like she is concerned about Huck's welfare but actually, she just wants to get the job done for the personal satisfaction of declaring, "It's handled."  And may I also add that she gave her friend and fellow gladiator, Harrison a graveside service.  

 
   
The New Year is the ideal time to set goals and re-commit to those we set last year.  In 2016, we are going to finally lose weight, get out of debt, go back to school, etc.
Getting closer to God, going to church every Sunday, having a quiet time every day, writing every day and publishing a blog post once a week are always on my list but I fall short every time. I have yet to begin the Daniel Fast my church participates in every January (I’m going to the grocery store to buy the necessary food right after I publish this post, I promise). Our spiritual leaders task us with witnessing, bringing others to Christ and inviting new people to our church but we don’t quite know how to go about it. We don’t want to offend anyone or come off as judgmental but we don’t want to water down the Gospel either or lie about our own situations to present ourselves as having it all together.  Transparency is the best witnessing tool in my book. Having a relationship with God is not a list of do’s and don’ts or showering down fire and brimstone.  We end up putting too much pressure on ourselves and pushing people away from God. When trials come, we come up with a plan to get out of it and expect God to see it through whether it was His will or not. Then we panic when our plan doesn’t come out the way... well, we planned. That is why it’s important to stop and ask: Do you believe God is who He says He is and do you believe He can do what He says He can do? Do you? It’s not my responsibility or yours to: -save anyone  -get anyone to let go of sin -change a anyone's thought process -restore someone’s marriage -or parent someone’s child Especially if that person is diligently and sincerely seeking God for themselves. God can and will work out that situation in that person’s life. All we must do is follow the leading of the Holy Spirit and love on them. We can’t impose our will onto others especially when our will is not God’s will. This year as you make your New Year’s resolutions, whether you are a Christian or not, remember the only person you can control is you. I have.