Alis Rowe's Blog
June 23, 2025
Choosing the right moment
An action can be taken at any time, but it’s a skill to be able to take that action at the correct time!
In fact, you can do the ‘right’ thing at the wrong time and get the wrong results. For example, submitting your tax return is the right thing to do, but if you do it too late, you might receive a fine!
Autistic people may struggle with a sense of timing or time perception. A consequence of this is that they may do things at a less-than-ideal moment. Perhaps they haven’t considered the time at all, or maybe they’ve wildly over- or under-estimated it. Maybe they just can’t judge when it is an appropriate or inappropriate moment to do something.
Being able to do things at the right moment is a wonderful skill to have however! When tasks are done or conversations are had at the right moment, life can run more smoothly and you can be a calmer and more productive person.
Here are some points to take into consideration when choosing the right moment to do something:
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May 30, 2025
Prioritising self-care
People should prioritise self-care because it’s the foundation of a healthy life. Sometimes autistic people forget this when they are absorbed with other things or feel under pressure to meet other people’s expectations. Taking care of themselves will give themselves the energy and overall wellness to ‘function’, be productive and to care for other people.
When self-care is not prioritised, at some point, there will be consequences. This is an important concept to understand – you can only work so much and so hard. When you are not tending to your own health needs because you are focusing on all the other things going on in your life, it can, in the end, cause problems.
It’s normally much healthier to aim for balance! This means that you incorporate into your life plenty of things that make you feel calm and uplifted. As a consequence, this may mean reducing the number of other tasks you do. This is perfectly okay. It might take some time to adjust to a different, calmer way of living, but it is usually extremely worthwhile!
Try to see things differently. Reducing the number of things you do in your life might mean you are doing less, but doing less does not mean you are being less productive. Doing less can actually make you more productive in the things you do do because you can give more attention and energy to them. You are less anxious and more in control. Maybe you become a more focused person. You find you can really concentrate on tasks and can go about them in a calmer way.
Join The Curly Hair Project Community TodayThis article and our podcasts are available only to members of our community. If you would like to continue to read this article, along with receiving access to our exclusive animations, podcasts and special offers – please click the Subscribe today button. If you are already a member, please log in.
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The post Prioritising self-care appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.
May 5, 2025
Why do I feel so upset when I get home?
Recently I went out and did something new. I had spent a lot of time worrying about this activity and a lot of time trying to mentally prepare for it. It was something that I wanted to do, but I still felt anxious.
The activity didn’t go as I expected. I came home feeling disappointed and very depleted, especially given all the mental effort I had put in.
This scenario inspired me to think about some of the various reasons autistic people might feel upset after having done something.
I remember also how I used to feel so upset every time I came home from school.
Join The Curly Hair Project Community TodayThis article and our podcasts are available only to members of our community. If you would like to continue to read this article, along with receiving access to our exclusive animations, podcasts and special offers – please click the Subscribe today button. If you are already a member, please log in.
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The post Why do I feel so upset when I get home? appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.
April 10, 2025
Understanding a situation from different points of view
Autistic-neurotypical relationships can be difficult! Sometimes a neurotypical person can care greatly about their autistic loved one and be well meaning but still ‘get it wrong’ (and of course it can also happen the other way around!).
The Girl With The Curly Hair sometimes feels that her neurotypical partner Nazim ‘gets it wrong’, even though she knows he loves her and means well.
Let’s watch the following scene taken from the film, ‘The Girl With The Curly Hair goes on Holiday’, and consider both The Girl With The Curly Hair and Nazim’s perspective:
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The post Understanding a situation from different points of view appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.
March 18, 2025
6 Ways to Avoid Anxiety and Mistakes when Giving an Instruction
Autistic people can have difficulty following instructions to carry out a task correctly. This is often because they find the instructions confusing. They may be clever and competent, but struggle to understand ‘common sense’ and may not interpret communication in the same way as neurotypical people. They may also care greatly about and rely upon understanding details that many neurotypical people wouldn’t worry about!
When carrying out a task for the first time, these challenges may cause an autistic person to experience a high level of anxiety. This is because they are unsure about what they need to do. In addition, they may make mistakes because of a misunderstanding.
However, when instructions are clear and thorough, an autistic person can be exceptionally good at achieving a task! Here are some suggestions for first-time task success:
Join The Curly Hair Project Community TodayThis article and our podcasts are available only to members of our community. If you would like to continue to read this article, along with receiving access to our exclusive animations, podcasts and special offers – please click the Subscribe today button. If you are already a member, please log in.
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The post 6 Ways to Avoid Anxiety and Mistakes when Giving an Instruction appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.
March 7, 2025
Alis was featured on BBC Radio London
It was exciting to feature on BBC Radio London this week!
If you would like to hear Alis speak about autism and her journey with The Curly Hair Project, click the link below.
The theme of creativity was covered. Alis also talks about the process of creating her animations.
The link below should take you straight to Alis’s feature but, if not, it starts at around 34 minutes 18 seconds into this programme.
Listen to the replay of Alis on BBC Radio London
The post Alis was featured on BBC Radio London appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.
February 23, 2025
How to get the best from the beginning and end of each day
Recently I had a particularly busy day. I had been working for around 14 hours and by the time I finished work, it was already my bedtime. As I was getting ready for bed, I felt highly agitated and irritable. Normally I feel calm when I get ready for bed. I felt agitated because, unusually for me, I had not had any time for ‘winding down’ between finishing my work and going to sleep. I’d also had very little time for myself during the day, as I had been working nonstop since the moment I woke up.
This scenario made me reflect upon just how important it is for me to have some time dedicated to whatever it is I want to do, both before bedtime and in the morning before I start my work.
Join The Curly Hair Project Community TodayThis article and our podcasts are available only to members of our community. If you would like to continue to read this article, along with receiving access to our exclusive animations, podcasts and special offers – please click the Subscribe today button. If you are already a member, please log in.
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The post How to get the best from the beginning and end of each day appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.
January 30, 2025
The skill of being able to distinguish WHEN details matter and when they don’t
Like many autistic people, I notice and focus on details.
This is a fantastic ability in the right circumstances, for example when I am editing, proof reading, working on my accounts or doing a piece of work I really care about.
However, it is a less useful ability in other circumstances!
Having recently been working on projects where the details are less important than the overall messages, I’ve come to realise that I need to adapt my approach. Spending so much time on details and analysing them is not particularly helpful.
For the sake of explanation, let’s say that, in life, there are two types of scenario:
Type 1 Scenarios: where the details really matter.
Type 2 Scenarios: where they matter less or not at all.
It’s not always beneficial to try to ‘force’ a detail-orientated approach to Type 2 scenarios!
Being able to distinguish between Type 1 and Type 2 Scenarios is a useful skill to acquire in itself.
This is the part that many autistic people find difficult. They have ‘attention to detail’ as a skill, but struggle to know which scenarios require and benefit from this skill, and which do not.
When people are successfully able to differentiate between the types of scenario, they can then work more smartly and efficiently. They can save themselves time and effort when detail is not required. They can use their skills to the fullest when detail is required.
Join The Curly Hair Project Community TodayThis article and our podcasts are available only to members of our community. If you would like to continue to read this article, along with receiving access to our exclusive animations, podcasts and special offers – please click the Subscribe today button. If you are already a member, please log in.
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The post The skill of being able to distinguish WHEN details matter and when they don’t appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.
January 6, 2025
Why autistic people may have trouble making commitments to activities
Although autistic people tend to like consistency in daily life and may be committed to their own routines, they may have trouble making commitments to other activities. Here are some reasons why this is:
Autism means living with a chronic disabilityIn many ways, having autism means living with a chronic disability. Every day, an autistic individual may suffer from general anxiety, social anxiety, sensory discomfort, overwhelm and exhaustion.
One of the consequences of having a chronic disability is that it can be very difficult for the individual to make any kind of commitment. They may be unable to anticipate how they will feel on any given day and whether they are going to feel up to facing the activity they had planned to do.
Join The Curly Hair Project Community TodayThis article and our podcasts are available only to members of our community. If you would like to continue to read this article, along with receiving access to our exclusive animations, podcasts and special offers – please click the Subscribe today button. If you are already a member, please log in.
SubscribeToday Why support
CHP? Free Autism
Alert Card!
When you subscribe to The Curly Hair Project,
you will receive a free Autism Alert Card worth £6!

The post Why autistic people may have trouble making commitments to activities appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.
December 7, 2024
10 Ways for autistic people to deal with waiting
To have to wait for things is part of life. We might have to wait…
to receive exam resultsto receive hospital test resultsto receive an autism diagnosisto be served in a restaurantfor someone to answer the phonefor an appointment with a doctorfor the train to comefor every episode of a TV series to be broadcastWaiting is just something we must put up with! And we have to wait for good things as well as difficult things.
It’s good practice therefore to learn how to ‘wait well’. Let’s think about some helpful ways for us to respond to waiting:
Join The Curly Hair Project Community TodayThis article and our podcasts are available only to members of our community. If you would like to continue to read this article, along with receiving access to our exclusive animations, podcasts and special offers – please click the Subscribe today button. If you are already a member, please log in.
SubscribeToday Why support
CHP? Free Autism
Alert Card!
When you subscribe to The Curly Hair Project,
you will receive a free Autism Alert Card worth £6!

The post 10 Ways for autistic people to deal with waiting appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.
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