Lee Parry's Blog

“What he did… I reckon I wouldn’t mind seein’ him in the ground, after that. I reckon I’d quite like te see him dead.” 

A childhood in the verdant wasteland of the North is never an easy thing — less so when one’s family is brutally slain!

As rumours continue to filter down from the northern Mire regarding a devastating massacre in a small back-water town, so too do reports of an aged gentleman and his ward — a callow youth by the name of ‘Jason Cutter’. Many claim that the boy is the sole survivor of the slaughtered town, wandering the forests to exact revenge on the blackguard responsible for the death of his loved ones!

While his intentions are no doubt pure, the horrors of the open Mire may yet poison Cutter’s mind to darker ends. Witnesses report the lad opening brandishing a firearm at passersby, and he and his guardian may even have been involved in the deaths of fellow travellers out on the moors of the north-western Mire!

It can only be hoped that this innocent, fresh from a provincial town where the darkest crimes can be naught graver than petty theft, is left uncorrupted by the excesses of Three Pines and beyond.

The post Innocence Lost in the Savage North! appeared first on The Portstown Reporter.

“They die so that humanity might be free. There is no choice.”

Residents of the northern Mire claim to have seen the hero — or villain! — of the Fall in recent weeks, walking the forests unafraid and aloof!

No figure of post-Fall history has been as jointly revered and reviled as the First Servant of the Gods, the man who joined Them before They unleashed Their terrible fury on the empires of old. Some maintain that he delivered mankind from their wicked ways into a newly sanctified existence. Others still claim that he condemned his fellow man to a fiery death below or glorified slavery above.

Celestopolitan experts speculate on his purpose in the clutching forests of the north — does he join us with noble purpose, or are dark deeds afoot? What link, if any, to the alleged slaughter of a back-water village in recent weeks? Shall the First take this opportunity to present himself to His Royal Majesty King Jacob I? Keep one vigilant eye on the Portstown Reporter, faithful readers, to learn the truth of the matter!

The post The First Servant walks the surface! appeared first on The Portstown Reporter.

“Just ‘cos ye’re older than me, ‘cos ye know how te chew ye food and act in polite society an’ lay ye knife n’ fork when ye’ve finished eatin’, dunt mean ye know anythin’ about my work. When we go out there, I’m the boss. Not you.”

The Rookery ought always be considered a terrifying place to a civilised Portstowner — but the most frightful things of all are the children!

The filthy, rat-addled alleys of the Rookery district are home to all manner of ruffian and miscreant, but none so seemingly docile and yet so vilely murderous as the common street urchin.

Ordered into vicious gangs by their taskmasters, such youths are trained with pistol and knife to deal horrid death on behalf of whomever has contracted their nefarious services. Such is their slight stature and childish limbs, the pint-sized devils may squeeze and contort themselves into the most unlikely of places — even a summer’s night window left open a crack!

Such is their reach that they may poison the minds of even the most gracious of us — fallen noble Sir Elliot Locke is reported to consort with one of the callow villains in the savage north, the two of them descending upon godsfearing citizens and setting about them until they lie dead.

One thing, faithful readers, is assured — you ought always to secure your property against the perils of the street — one never knows when a black-hearted youth plots to lay open one’s throat!

The post Urchin cutthroats prowl streets! appeared first on The Portstown Reporter.

“It takes outstanding reflexes to pinch off a person’s vocal cords without damaging them. Rest assured: with Mr. Cooper and I, you certainly get your money’s worth.” 

Elliot Locke, a prominent Portstown noble and son of Knight-Protector Lord Percival Locke, has disgraced not only his esteemed family but all of the Portstown nobility by taking up arms as a common assassin!

Sir Locke was once noted by his affable demeanour and charming presence at many a Portstown ball, is long rumoured to have quarrelled dreadfully with his father behind closed doors. Rookery vagabonds have even started tongues wagging with reports of Sir Locke carousing with the lowborn commoners of the district, much to the dismay of all decent ladies and gentlemen.

Recent reports from the north of the Mire claim that Sir Locke has entered into confederacy with a filthy urchin, reputed to be one of the horrid blackguards’ guild known as the ‘Blackjacks’!

Ladies and gentlemen in the town of Three Pines are said to fear for their lives, as the noble-cum-scoundrel and his villainous ward descend upon their homes, laying about them with cane and blade and opening their throats as if common swine!

Should the disgraceful Sir Locke dare return to the Jewel of the Mire, one can only imagine the horrors he should inflict on the good ladies and gentlemen of our fine city.

The post Portstown noble becomes gentleman assassin! appeared first on The Portstown Reporter.

“The closest to French you’ve ever been are the letters the whores slip on that shrivelled little organ between your legs before they let you touch them. For pay, that is. In case I didn’t make that clear.”

The tranquil mountain-top hamlet of Shirehead is renowned for its community of solitude-seeking nobles and coal magnates. But not all are so content with the breathtaking natural vistas and leave to seek singular adventure and sordid encounters with the lowborn scum of Three Pines.

One such noble-born gel, Lady Penelope Grosvenor, has scandalised family and friends by falling in with opium-dealing ruffians and leaving behind her gods-ordained life as a lady!

The Grosvenors are a prestigious family, marred by tragedy when one of their number, Lady Patricia Grosvenor, was mauled to death by the savage creatures of the Mire. Her husband, the esteemed Lord Geoffrey Grosvenor, relocated with his daughter to the idyllic mountain-top of Shirehead to live out their days in relative peace and safety.

Alas, such a life was not meant to be for the incorrigible Lady Grosvenor, known locally for her scandalous conduct unbecoming of a highborn gel. Locals speak of her wantonly fraternising with airshipmen and sullying the respectable name of her family and all nobles everywhere. Travelling ladies and gentlemen beware of this fallen angel!

The post Highborn gel falls in with opium-trafficking scoundrels! appeared first on The Portstown Reporter.

Has your appetite for the macabre, Sir or Madam, yet to be sated? Do you thirst for yet more gruesome accounts of the untamed north and the sordid alleyways of our very own Rookery? Then look no further! From the twisted mind of our very own penny-dreadful author, learn how the First Servant laid waste a tranquil back-water for his own base needs! Follow with bated breath as his surviving victims seek him out to extract revenge most brutal! Read with intemperate abandon as our heroes brave the terrors of the deep Mire and beyond! Read the thrilling ‘Tell no Tales’ — available now in newfangled electronic-novel format only*!

Tell No Tales (Amazon)

*’Tell no Tales’ details horrid acts of violence and contains language of the most profane and nauseatingly base nature. It should be avoided by ladies or gentlemen of a delicate disposition. 

The post “Tell no Tales” — a lurid, grisly account of three persons’ dark journey to dreadful vengeance! appeared first on The Portstown Reporter.

“You’d be surprised at how few questions it takes before I’m pushed to murder.” 

Fresh from the rumoured massacre of a back-water town in weeks past, our northern compatriots persist in reporting the presence of an elderly gentleman, stoic of disposition, who is armed with marvellous sky-weapons and a murderous rage.

Celestopolitan experts have long promulgated the notion that some of the favoured souls in the astonishing cities above have, indeed, left the embrace of the gods for a mundane existence in the Mire, bringing their fantastic sky-worked devices with them. If recent reports can indeed be looked upon without scepticism, one may indeed infer such a thing as true: witnesses to the elderly man’s skirmishes in the streets attest to a dreadful luminescence issuing from his hands, injuring awfully the limbs and bodies of those who oppose him.

Certain persons have also claimed that the enigmatic miscreant has with him an impressionable youth, studying and emulating the wizened murderer’s black deeds. One can pray only that the boy is delivered from the villain’s hands before his psyche is irrevocably damaged!

The post Is this aged rogue a refugee from the sky-cities? appeared first on The Portstown Reporter.

“If a caveman saw a landtrain, he’d no doubt get down on his fuckin’ knees and praise the gods for harnessin’ the divine power of hot water an’ metal. Just ‘cos ye cannae explain somethin’, doesnae make it divine.”

Of all the things the far-north city of Petat has unleashed upon the northern Mire, none is so lamentable as the Negro Freedman. Freed from bondage from the technological marvel that is Petat, the Negro has made his way down into the Mire to whore himself out as a common labourer, opium-racket enforcer, or — horrid to relate! — a hired gun.

One such notorious underworld figure goes by the outlandish moniker of ‘Kwame Asseri’. Asseri is employed by the violent Order of Prometheus, who revel in black deeds against the law-abiding Church of Sious in the isolated Mire town.

Renowned for his sharp tongue and sharper blades, the rascal Asseri is known to locals for his fiendish attacks on the clergy and loyalty to nothing more than common coin. Thirty-one murders are attributed to the brute, including one infamous episode in which he forced clergymen to play the notorious Rookery Roulette with a fully loaded gun.

We of Portstown may be grateful that our small Negro community has been correctly domesticated and live in rightful fear of the repercussions of unseemly comportment.

The post Petat Freedman scandalises Three Pines! appeared first on The Portstown Reporter.