Caylie Marcoe's Blog
April 4, 2016
Happy 2nd Birthday, Choose Us & A Sneak Peek!!!
Today is a super awesome, amazing, feeling fantastic type of day.
Even the snow that is stupidly falling from the sky right now won't get me down.
All because throughout the day today I've been seeing all the fun posts from Timehop or On This Day.
From two years ago.
Two years.
Two stinking years ago, Choose Us was published.
It basically feels like a lifetime.
Two years ago, I would have been happy with two people (I didn't know) reading the book.
I thought, for sure, I would only sell 50 copies.
Like...for all time.
And I was thrilled at the idea!
I published a freaking book.
A dream of mine, that I really didn't even realize I had wanted, happened.
And something happened.
People started reading it.
Lots of people.
People from all over the world!
I am still amazed by it all.
And I cannot thank you enough for taking a chance on that book.
So what better way to celebrate two years of Choose Us being out in the world than to give you a SNEAK PEEK into the next story in the Xtreme Bachelor world.
Yeah, you've heard me talk about it.
You knew it was coming (eventually).
And you knew (or at least know how) that the main character is the person you loved to hate in Choose Us.
I'm talking about Nicki.
And I'm positive I will make you love her.
Because I do...and I never thought that would happen after Choose Us .
Nicki is a complicated character that you only saw one side to in CU...Riley's side.
And while Riley had every right in the world to hate Nicki, Travis was right in saying there was a different side to Nicki that only he had seen.
Sure, most would say that was the fake Nicki.
But what if I told you it wasn't?
What if I told you, Nicki is just trying to figure her shit out?
She's played a character in her life for so long, she doesn't know how to break from that.
Would you believe me?
Well...you have to.
Because I'm the author here! Haha.
And I'm telling you, Nicki Montgomery is not who she portrays in Choose Us.
Trust me.
With that, I'll leave you with the super sneak peek of Finding Me.
They dressed me like a freaking hooch.
I fought tooth and nail to not wear this dress. It was so not me. But the producers figured it was the “me” the world knew, so they were going to go with it. I’m pretty sure I didn’t sign up for this when I signed the contract. My mind was made up to have a long chat with Jim when this night was over. I would not be wearing what they wanted anymore.
That choice was going to be mine.
This blood red dress not only clashed with my skin tone, but was so tight my lungs couldn’t expand. And so short I was afraid to move for fear of it hiking up and showing my ass. Not to mention that it was barely containing the girls. Like, if I were to move too fast, one of them would pop out.
Guess it’s a good thing I could barely move in this dress. Moving too fast wasn’t even an option.
Their claim was that my dress on the first season was revealing too and I had gotten to pick that one out. So this dress shouldn’t have been too out of my range. But it was. Oh, it was. The dress during the first season wasn’t nearly as tight, was a muted gold color, was longer than this, and kept the girls in tack. I had no fears that night, I had looked hot.
I look like a five dollar hooker right now.
I could not wait for this night to be over with already. To get back to the guest house and change into yoga pants and a tank and gorge myself with those caramel brownies Eileen sent me with.
Unfortunately, the night had yet to begin. I had just arrived to the house and was currently stationed in front of the massive oak doors, waiting for the first of the guys to show up. I was actually disappointed that there were portable heaters situated evenly around the front walkway where I was standing. If they hadn’t thought to bring them, I could have put a cardigan over the dress, and made it a little less…less!
Twenty introductions would be made tonight. Twenty names to pretend to remember and occupations to pretend to care about. I had made up my mind the moment I zipped up the dress that I would nail it down to fifteen guys quickly, so I could be done with this awkward and uncomfortable night. I didn’t even care if they wanted me to stay until a certain time. I was going to be out of here the moment the fifth guy left.
To hell with playing the game their way.
My palms started the get clammy the moment I saw a car crest over the hill. I tried wiping them on my dress, but it was so slick they just slipped right off.
I was going to burn this thing.
I glanced over to the sides of the driveway where a few camera men were getting shots from every angle. My eyes searched for Jim. I knew he was there somewhere, and I wasn’t sure if I sought comfort from his gaze, or if I wanted to shoot him a death glare. I didn’t get a chance to figure it out though, as the car pulled to a stop a few feet before me.
I steadied my trembling hands against my hips. If I had been aware of how off-putting that pose was, I would have rethought it. But I honestly just wanted the shaking to stop and the hands on the hips did the trick.
I watched in awe as the driver opened the back door of the car and out stepped a Greek god.
That was the only way to describe him. He was crazy tall, and the suit he wore did very little to cover the muscles clearly bulging from every part of his body. His face was chiseled perfectly, as if an artist had created him from stone. He blinded me with perfectly straight, electric white teeth.
There was no part of him that wasn’t perfect. Even his even stride up the drive to me was like a dance.
Where the hell did they find this guy?
He stopped in front of me and I breathed in an overabundance of cologne.
Okay, not every part of him was perfect. I attempted to not gag on his overwhelming scent and forced a smile on my face.
“You’re even more beautiful in person,” he spoke with an accent.
Greek god was Australian. That definitely seemed to help sidetrack me from his smell.
“Thank you.” Was all I managed in reply.
“I’m Cooper. From Sydney if you couldn’t tell,” he chuckled while pointing to his mouth. “And let’s see, what else was I supposed to say?” He looked over at the row of cameras and the few producers behind them. Looking directly at the camera was a huge no-no unless you were being interviewed. I could only imagine how much editing it would take to make this introduction run seamlessly on TV.
“Oh right,” he said after someone mouthed something to him. “I used to play hooker on a professional rugby team. Now I am an announcer for the rugby network.” He leaned in to whisper in my ear. “It’s in my blood.”
“Rugby. Sounds…fun.” I moved back a step and resisted the urge to wipe my ear off on my shoulder.
“I can’t wait to get to know your more.” Cooper moved in once again, this time I was pretty sure he was going to attempt to kiss my cheek.
I moved to the side and placed my hands on his chest, giving him a slight push out of my bubble.
“That’s great.” I couldn’t handle it and coughed a little. “Maybe before we meet again, you could shower and not bathe in the aftershave?”
I met his shocked eyes with some of my own. I wasn’t planning on telling him straight up like that. I wasn’t planning on telling him anything at all. I heard whispering from the side and chanced a glance over. Jim finally shown his face and was waving for us to end this conversation so he could move into the house.
“Right. So, it’s great to meet you. I look forward to…uh…learning all about rugby?” I honestly had nothing clever to say. Damn I was going to fail so hard on this show.
Cooper grinned at me with his stupidly perfect mouth. “I can teach you all about it.” He leaned in, just close enough for me to hear, but still respecting my space. “And then some.”
With that creepy sendoff he headed through the oak doors behind me. They shut with a slam just as another car pulled up.
Couldn’t even get a moment to compose myself after that introduction. This was going to be a freaking long ass night.
Okay, I guess it wouldn’t be that bad if all the guys continue to look like him.
I pulled my lip between my teeth to keep my jaw from hanging open as the next guy stepped out of the car. He adjusted the coat of his perfectly tailored suit and started toward me. I took in his tall frame and broad shoulders first. Then I zeroed in on his face as he got closer. He had perfectly kissable full lips and the deepest green eyes I had ever seen. His hair was a chocolate brown, styled in a messy spike.
“Hi Nicki, I’m Brent, surfer, from California.” He pulled me in for a hug before I even realized what was happening.
Guess he’s one for getting straight to the point. Not that I minded. Not one bit.
“Current surfer?” I asked stepping back from the hug, but his hand still lingered on my forearm.
“Well I’ll always be a surfer, until the ocean takes me out. But I’m an instructor.”
“Surfing instructor?” That can’t bring in a ton of money.
Money doesn’t matter, Nicki.
Brent chuckled and rubbed his thumb across my arm, causing goose bumps to appear under his hand. “Actually I teach geometry at the local community college.”
He shocked the hell out of me with that answer. Given his appearance and super sexy demeanor, he didn’t seem like a guy who would be into teaching anything to anyone aside from surfing.
“Math nerd, huh?” I asked pulling my arm free from his grip, since I couldn’t think clearly with the skin to skin contact.
Brent’s lips twitched up into a smirk while he took a step toward me and placed that smirk next to my ear. “We prefer the term math geek,” he whispered, his lips hitting spots on my ear that I didn’t realize could turn me on.
But it did. Oh man did it ever.
A subtle cough from the side drew Brent away from me. He held my gaze for a moment before walking past me and into the house.
I needed to sit down. I needed a cold shower. I needed to just end this show right here and run away with that insanely sexy man who has my insides all twisted up.
“Next car is coming up, need a glass of water, Nicki?” Jim’s voice called from where he was standing on the side. I swear I heard the smile in his voice as he yelled it at me. And damn it, yes, I did need some water. But before I could answer with some snarky remark I’m sure was at the tip of my tongue, the next car pulled up.
As the next guy stepped out of the car, I knew I was going to throw a wrench in Jim’s plans. While this new guy was attractive with his shaggy blonde hair and well-tailored suit that fit his obviously well maintained body perfect, there was just one issue.
He was short.
Like crazy short. I could tell from the short distance that separated us that he was shorter than me. And I was only 5’7’’, so I knew I wasn’t insanely tall. So he must have been really short.
Did it make me shallow for not wanting to date a guy shorter than me?
Maybe.
Probably.
But I like my guy to be taller than me, so I can rest my head on his chest when he hugs me, or place my chin on his shoulder while dancing.
As he approached me, I finally got to see the extent of our height difference. While I’ve been looking up at the last two guys, with him, I was looking down…a good two inches.
“Hi,” he said as he stopped in front of me. He reached out his hand for mine. “I’m Jay and…”
“I’m just going to stop you right there,” I interrupted him. Jay’s hand paused in the space between us, and I didn’t make the move to acknowledge it. After an awkward moment, he dropped it to his side, and wiped his palm on his dress pants.
I decided against beating around the bush and just told him straight up what I needed to. “Look, this is going to come off horribly rude, but I’m just going to say goodbye to you right now.”
Voices exploded from the side of the drive as each producer tried to shout their—mostly negative—input to me. I shook my head and lifted my hands up in a defensive stance.
“I’m sorry, okay,” I said, looking Jay in the eye. He didn’t look heartbroken, in fact, he looked slightly relieved. “I just can’t do…this.” I waved my hand between the two of us, trying to show off the obvious height difference.
Jay nodded and stepped one foot back, “I get it. And you’re a very intimidating woman already, we don’t need to add on the two inches you have on me.” He gave me a soft smile before giving me a small wave and turning back towards the car.
The producers were still mumbling to each other as Jay got into the car he had just vacated moments ago. The car pulled away and I was stuck standing there for minutes before another one arrived. Apparently the producers had the cars arrivals timed perfectly, and since my conversation with Jay lasted all of ten seconds, I had some time to kill before the next guy arrived.
“I could really use that water,” I spoke over their voices, hoping someone took pity on me. Not only could I not breathe in this dress, but the unseasonably warm September night stifling.
“Here kid.” A water bottle was being held in front of me. I took it and sipped. I looked up into the frustrated eyes of Jim.
I swallowed hard and shrugged. “What?”
Jim released a huff of irritation, grabbed the bottle out of my hands and practically stopped back to the side of the driveway.
I guess they had rules on the elimination process and failed to tell them to me.
Oh well, what’s done is done.
“You can always have him as the next bachelor,” I shouted to the producers as the next car pulled up.
_____
I had met multiple surfers, rugby players, skateboarders, BMX riders, motocross racers, and snowboarders in the last two hours that I had been standing in front of house. Plus Jay, who never got a chance to tell me his sport.
My feet were killing me in these heels.
My dress was permanently fused to my body.
And I was pretty sure my bladder was going to explode, thanks to the two bottles of water I drank.
At least this car that pulled up was the last one. The last of the first meetings. I would have been relieved to be done, but I knew I was far from it. I still had to mingle with these guys and narrow it down to fifteen before I could escape back to my room.
I watched as the driver opened the door for the last guy. I squinted as I tried to get a look at him, hoping maybe I could dismiss him like I had with Jay so I would only have to deal with three eliminations once I got in the house.
But hell, that wasn’t going to happen.
A cowboy stepped out of the car. A downright sexy cowboy. The cowboy boots were the first thing I saw when he exited the car, and I could hear his drawl as he thanked the driver.
He was the only guy who verbal acknowledged and thanked the driver. That gave him a point above the others.
And unlike the other guys I’ve meet, he wasn’t wearing a suit, he was in well-fitting jeans and a button-up blue dress shirt. The sleeves were rolled up to the middle of his very muscular forearms.
I never in a million years thought I would be attracted to a cowboy, but he proved me wrong.
As he got closer I noticed his chiseled jaw with a rough five o’clock shadow and crooked nose. He had short dark brown hair that curled around his ears and the base of his neck. But the most attractive quality was his intense brown eyes focusing in on mine.
He stopped just steps before me, and took me in. Although I had felt super awkward in this dress all night long, with his deep gaze on me, I felt so uncomfortable with what I was wearing. What I wouldn’t give to be standing before him in jeans and a nice top. Be on equal ground. Not look like a sleazy woman. I tried to give him a smile, but I’m pretty sure my face looked like I was in pain.
Probably because I was in pain, because of this stupid dress. I knew any attempt at adjusting the dress would be futile. This dress wasn’t going to move an inch. Which was probably a good thing, so I wouldn’t fall out of it. But I was beginning to wonder how I was supposed to get out of the dress at the end of the night.
Pretty sure someone was going to have to cut it off me.
“Hello there,” Cowboy said, breaking me from my thoughts. “I’m Wade, I’m from this beautiful state of Oklahoma, and I was in the PBR.” He spoke with a deep southern accent. And my knees immediately went weak.
“Like the beer?” I asked. Apparently my brain when a little mushy too at his voice.
He laughed. Full out right, laughed. At me. Does he know what show he’s on? Does he know that I’m the one who makes the choice on whether he stays or goes? But damn it all to hell, if his laugh wasn’t the most amazing thing I’d ever hear. Deep and full and rumbly.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t laugh. You’re from that big city up north, I guess I shouldn’t expect you to know what the PBR is.” He reigned in his laughter and sounded sincere. But I still had a chip on my shoulder from his outburst.
“Well, it is a beer.” I pointed out. Trying to argue that I wasn’t a complete moron.
“You’re right. But I was a professional bull rider. PBR.” He said it slowly for me, so it would sink in.
He rode bulls? Is he freaking crazy?
“Are you crazy?!” Apparently my mouth had no filter with this man.
“I have been asked that before, but I assure you I am very sane.” With that he winked, and my knees once again almost give away, and he starts to walk away from me. But I wasn’t ready to end this conversation yet, even though I’ve just been super awkward.
“Wait!” I practically yelled. He paused next to me, his shoulder brushed against mine.
Too close. He’s too close. I could smell the light woodsy scent of him. It wasn’t overpowering like most of the guys tonight. And I found myself wanting to take another step closer to him.
“Yes?” he asked, breaking me out of my thoughts of his scent.
“Oh, um, what do you do for a living now?” I stuttered.
“I’m a farmer,” he said and gave me a little nod, brushed past me, and entered the doors.
A farmer? He was a farmer? All that sexiness oozing out of every possible crevice of that man, and he was a farmer?
Don’t judge him on his occupation Nicki. Don’t judge him on his occupation.
Those words repeated through my head as Jim walked towards me.
“Hey kid, you did awesome on the first meets. Now it’s time to go mingle and get to know them a little more. And narrow it down to fifteen. Since you already dismissed Jay already, you only have four more to eliminate.” His voice was stern, as if I had done the wrong thing.
“You never told me when to eliminate them. I figured I knew enough of myself to know that I wouldn’t be interested in Jay, so it was nicer to do it now, than to get his hopes up. Right?” I followed Jim as he walked toward the oak doors.
“Yeah, so much nicer. You knew him for all of five seconds.” Jim held the door open for me and I entered the house for the first time.
“I know what I like,” I mumbled as Jim moved into the house behind me.
Standing in the entryway was Tessa, the host of the show. I’m not sure if she was a fan of me on the first season, but right now she was all smiles. Probably because she was getting paid.
“You remember Tessa,” Jim made the re-introduction, and Tessa’s hand stretched out for mine. I shook it and gave her a polite smile, but didn’t answer Jim.
“Tessa is going to take you into the living room where all the men are waiting and explain how things are going to go tonight. Then you can mingle, or single the guys out to get to know them better. Or go with your gut reaction and just eliminate the four as soon as you walk in there,” Jim said with a wink. “Either way, there won’t be an elimination ceremony tonight, so you’ll just be dismissing them throughout the evening. I guess it’s up to you on how long you want to be here.” He gave me a knowing smile and eyed my dress. Or what they called a dress. I was still pretty positive it shouldn’t be called that.
Scrap of fabric seemed more like it.
“Got it.” I gave Jim a smile as he nodded and walked down the hall in the opposite direction.
“Bathroom,” I breathed out to Tessa when Jim left. She chuckled and pointed to a door a few feet down the hall.
When I had emptied my bladder and freshened up as best I could in the powder room, I returned to Tessa, who was still standing near the doors.
“Alright.” I clapped my hands together, ready to get this night over with. “Let’s get this party started.”
That's it.
That's all.
If you made it this far, you deserve a cookie.
Go get yourself a cookie.
Finding Me is coming...soon.
I still need to finish it.
But it's almost there.
Almost.
Let me know what you thought of the story so far.
Are you excited?
Do you think you'll love or hate Nicki?
Tell me, so I can over analyze every comment.
Just kidding, I won't do that.
Probably not.
Eh.....
For real, that's all now!
....
......
........
..........
Thank you again for reading Choose Us .
Even the snow that is stupidly falling from the sky right now won't get me down.
All because throughout the day today I've been seeing all the fun posts from Timehop or On This Day.
From two years ago.
Two years.
Two stinking years ago, Choose Us was published.
It basically feels like a lifetime.
Two years ago, I would have been happy with two people (I didn't know) reading the book.
I thought, for sure, I would only sell 50 copies.
Like...for all time.
And I was thrilled at the idea!
I published a freaking book.
A dream of mine, that I really didn't even realize I had wanted, happened.
And something happened.
People started reading it.
Lots of people.
People from all over the world!
I am still amazed by it all.
And I cannot thank you enough for taking a chance on that book.
So what better way to celebrate two years of Choose Us being out in the world than to give you a SNEAK PEEK into the next story in the Xtreme Bachelor world.
Yeah, you've heard me talk about it.
You knew it was coming (eventually).
And you knew (or at least know how) that the main character is the person you loved to hate in Choose Us.
I'm talking about Nicki.
And I'm positive I will make you love her.
Because I do...and I never thought that would happen after Choose Us .
Nicki is a complicated character that you only saw one side to in CU...Riley's side.
And while Riley had every right in the world to hate Nicki, Travis was right in saying there was a different side to Nicki that only he had seen.
Sure, most would say that was the fake Nicki.
But what if I told you it wasn't?
What if I told you, Nicki is just trying to figure her shit out?
She's played a character in her life for so long, she doesn't know how to break from that.
Would you believe me?
Well...you have to.
Because I'm the author here! Haha.
And I'm telling you, Nicki Montgomery is not who she portrays in Choose Us.
Trust me.
With that, I'll leave you with the super sneak peek of Finding Me.
They dressed me like a freaking hooch.
I fought tooth and nail to not wear this dress. It was so not me. But the producers figured it was the “me” the world knew, so they were going to go with it. I’m pretty sure I didn’t sign up for this when I signed the contract. My mind was made up to have a long chat with Jim when this night was over. I would not be wearing what they wanted anymore.
That choice was going to be mine.
This blood red dress not only clashed with my skin tone, but was so tight my lungs couldn’t expand. And so short I was afraid to move for fear of it hiking up and showing my ass. Not to mention that it was barely containing the girls. Like, if I were to move too fast, one of them would pop out.
Guess it’s a good thing I could barely move in this dress. Moving too fast wasn’t even an option.
Their claim was that my dress on the first season was revealing too and I had gotten to pick that one out. So this dress shouldn’t have been too out of my range. But it was. Oh, it was. The dress during the first season wasn’t nearly as tight, was a muted gold color, was longer than this, and kept the girls in tack. I had no fears that night, I had looked hot.
I look like a five dollar hooker right now.
I could not wait for this night to be over with already. To get back to the guest house and change into yoga pants and a tank and gorge myself with those caramel brownies Eileen sent me with.
Unfortunately, the night had yet to begin. I had just arrived to the house and was currently stationed in front of the massive oak doors, waiting for the first of the guys to show up. I was actually disappointed that there were portable heaters situated evenly around the front walkway where I was standing. If they hadn’t thought to bring them, I could have put a cardigan over the dress, and made it a little less…less!
Twenty introductions would be made tonight. Twenty names to pretend to remember and occupations to pretend to care about. I had made up my mind the moment I zipped up the dress that I would nail it down to fifteen guys quickly, so I could be done with this awkward and uncomfortable night. I didn’t even care if they wanted me to stay until a certain time. I was going to be out of here the moment the fifth guy left.
To hell with playing the game their way.
My palms started the get clammy the moment I saw a car crest over the hill. I tried wiping them on my dress, but it was so slick they just slipped right off.
I was going to burn this thing.
I glanced over to the sides of the driveway where a few camera men were getting shots from every angle. My eyes searched for Jim. I knew he was there somewhere, and I wasn’t sure if I sought comfort from his gaze, or if I wanted to shoot him a death glare. I didn’t get a chance to figure it out though, as the car pulled to a stop a few feet before me.
I steadied my trembling hands against my hips. If I had been aware of how off-putting that pose was, I would have rethought it. But I honestly just wanted the shaking to stop and the hands on the hips did the trick.
I watched in awe as the driver opened the back door of the car and out stepped a Greek god.
That was the only way to describe him. He was crazy tall, and the suit he wore did very little to cover the muscles clearly bulging from every part of his body. His face was chiseled perfectly, as if an artist had created him from stone. He blinded me with perfectly straight, electric white teeth.
There was no part of him that wasn’t perfect. Even his even stride up the drive to me was like a dance.
Where the hell did they find this guy?
He stopped in front of me and I breathed in an overabundance of cologne.
Okay, not every part of him was perfect. I attempted to not gag on his overwhelming scent and forced a smile on my face.
“You’re even more beautiful in person,” he spoke with an accent.
Greek god was Australian. That definitely seemed to help sidetrack me from his smell.
“Thank you.” Was all I managed in reply.
“I’m Cooper. From Sydney if you couldn’t tell,” he chuckled while pointing to his mouth. “And let’s see, what else was I supposed to say?” He looked over at the row of cameras and the few producers behind them. Looking directly at the camera was a huge no-no unless you were being interviewed. I could only imagine how much editing it would take to make this introduction run seamlessly on TV.
“Oh right,” he said after someone mouthed something to him. “I used to play hooker on a professional rugby team. Now I am an announcer for the rugby network.” He leaned in to whisper in my ear. “It’s in my blood.”
“Rugby. Sounds…fun.” I moved back a step and resisted the urge to wipe my ear off on my shoulder.
“I can’t wait to get to know your more.” Cooper moved in once again, this time I was pretty sure he was going to attempt to kiss my cheek.
I moved to the side and placed my hands on his chest, giving him a slight push out of my bubble.
“That’s great.” I couldn’t handle it and coughed a little. “Maybe before we meet again, you could shower and not bathe in the aftershave?”
I met his shocked eyes with some of my own. I wasn’t planning on telling him straight up like that. I wasn’t planning on telling him anything at all. I heard whispering from the side and chanced a glance over. Jim finally shown his face and was waving for us to end this conversation so he could move into the house.
“Right. So, it’s great to meet you. I look forward to…uh…learning all about rugby?” I honestly had nothing clever to say. Damn I was going to fail so hard on this show.
Cooper grinned at me with his stupidly perfect mouth. “I can teach you all about it.” He leaned in, just close enough for me to hear, but still respecting my space. “And then some.”
With that creepy sendoff he headed through the oak doors behind me. They shut with a slam just as another car pulled up.
Couldn’t even get a moment to compose myself after that introduction. This was going to be a freaking long ass night.
Okay, I guess it wouldn’t be that bad if all the guys continue to look like him.
I pulled my lip between my teeth to keep my jaw from hanging open as the next guy stepped out of the car. He adjusted the coat of his perfectly tailored suit and started toward me. I took in his tall frame and broad shoulders first. Then I zeroed in on his face as he got closer. He had perfectly kissable full lips and the deepest green eyes I had ever seen. His hair was a chocolate brown, styled in a messy spike.
“Hi Nicki, I’m Brent, surfer, from California.” He pulled me in for a hug before I even realized what was happening.
Guess he’s one for getting straight to the point. Not that I minded. Not one bit.
“Current surfer?” I asked stepping back from the hug, but his hand still lingered on my forearm.
“Well I’ll always be a surfer, until the ocean takes me out. But I’m an instructor.”
“Surfing instructor?” That can’t bring in a ton of money.
Money doesn’t matter, Nicki.
Brent chuckled and rubbed his thumb across my arm, causing goose bumps to appear under his hand. “Actually I teach geometry at the local community college.”
He shocked the hell out of me with that answer. Given his appearance and super sexy demeanor, he didn’t seem like a guy who would be into teaching anything to anyone aside from surfing.
“Math nerd, huh?” I asked pulling my arm free from his grip, since I couldn’t think clearly with the skin to skin contact.
Brent’s lips twitched up into a smirk while he took a step toward me and placed that smirk next to my ear. “We prefer the term math geek,” he whispered, his lips hitting spots on my ear that I didn’t realize could turn me on.
But it did. Oh man did it ever.
A subtle cough from the side drew Brent away from me. He held my gaze for a moment before walking past me and into the house.
I needed to sit down. I needed a cold shower. I needed to just end this show right here and run away with that insanely sexy man who has my insides all twisted up.
“Next car is coming up, need a glass of water, Nicki?” Jim’s voice called from where he was standing on the side. I swear I heard the smile in his voice as he yelled it at me. And damn it, yes, I did need some water. But before I could answer with some snarky remark I’m sure was at the tip of my tongue, the next car pulled up.
As the next guy stepped out of the car, I knew I was going to throw a wrench in Jim’s plans. While this new guy was attractive with his shaggy blonde hair and well-tailored suit that fit his obviously well maintained body perfect, there was just one issue.
He was short.
Like crazy short. I could tell from the short distance that separated us that he was shorter than me. And I was only 5’7’’, so I knew I wasn’t insanely tall. So he must have been really short.
Did it make me shallow for not wanting to date a guy shorter than me?
Maybe.
Probably.
But I like my guy to be taller than me, so I can rest my head on his chest when he hugs me, or place my chin on his shoulder while dancing.
As he approached me, I finally got to see the extent of our height difference. While I’ve been looking up at the last two guys, with him, I was looking down…a good two inches.
“Hi,” he said as he stopped in front of me. He reached out his hand for mine. “I’m Jay and…”
“I’m just going to stop you right there,” I interrupted him. Jay’s hand paused in the space between us, and I didn’t make the move to acknowledge it. After an awkward moment, he dropped it to his side, and wiped his palm on his dress pants.
I decided against beating around the bush and just told him straight up what I needed to. “Look, this is going to come off horribly rude, but I’m just going to say goodbye to you right now.”
Voices exploded from the side of the drive as each producer tried to shout their—mostly negative—input to me. I shook my head and lifted my hands up in a defensive stance.
“I’m sorry, okay,” I said, looking Jay in the eye. He didn’t look heartbroken, in fact, he looked slightly relieved. “I just can’t do…this.” I waved my hand between the two of us, trying to show off the obvious height difference.
Jay nodded and stepped one foot back, “I get it. And you’re a very intimidating woman already, we don’t need to add on the two inches you have on me.” He gave me a soft smile before giving me a small wave and turning back towards the car.
The producers were still mumbling to each other as Jay got into the car he had just vacated moments ago. The car pulled away and I was stuck standing there for minutes before another one arrived. Apparently the producers had the cars arrivals timed perfectly, and since my conversation with Jay lasted all of ten seconds, I had some time to kill before the next guy arrived.
“I could really use that water,” I spoke over their voices, hoping someone took pity on me. Not only could I not breathe in this dress, but the unseasonably warm September night stifling.
“Here kid.” A water bottle was being held in front of me. I took it and sipped. I looked up into the frustrated eyes of Jim.
I swallowed hard and shrugged. “What?”
Jim released a huff of irritation, grabbed the bottle out of my hands and practically stopped back to the side of the driveway.
I guess they had rules on the elimination process and failed to tell them to me.
Oh well, what’s done is done.
“You can always have him as the next bachelor,” I shouted to the producers as the next car pulled up.
_____
I had met multiple surfers, rugby players, skateboarders, BMX riders, motocross racers, and snowboarders in the last two hours that I had been standing in front of house. Plus Jay, who never got a chance to tell me his sport.
My feet were killing me in these heels.
My dress was permanently fused to my body.
And I was pretty sure my bladder was going to explode, thanks to the two bottles of water I drank.
At least this car that pulled up was the last one. The last of the first meetings. I would have been relieved to be done, but I knew I was far from it. I still had to mingle with these guys and narrow it down to fifteen before I could escape back to my room.
I watched as the driver opened the door for the last guy. I squinted as I tried to get a look at him, hoping maybe I could dismiss him like I had with Jay so I would only have to deal with three eliminations once I got in the house.
But hell, that wasn’t going to happen.
A cowboy stepped out of the car. A downright sexy cowboy. The cowboy boots were the first thing I saw when he exited the car, and I could hear his drawl as he thanked the driver.
He was the only guy who verbal acknowledged and thanked the driver. That gave him a point above the others.
And unlike the other guys I’ve meet, he wasn’t wearing a suit, he was in well-fitting jeans and a button-up blue dress shirt. The sleeves were rolled up to the middle of his very muscular forearms.
I never in a million years thought I would be attracted to a cowboy, but he proved me wrong.
As he got closer I noticed his chiseled jaw with a rough five o’clock shadow and crooked nose. He had short dark brown hair that curled around his ears and the base of his neck. But the most attractive quality was his intense brown eyes focusing in on mine.
He stopped just steps before me, and took me in. Although I had felt super awkward in this dress all night long, with his deep gaze on me, I felt so uncomfortable with what I was wearing. What I wouldn’t give to be standing before him in jeans and a nice top. Be on equal ground. Not look like a sleazy woman. I tried to give him a smile, but I’m pretty sure my face looked like I was in pain.
Probably because I was in pain, because of this stupid dress. I knew any attempt at adjusting the dress would be futile. This dress wasn’t going to move an inch. Which was probably a good thing, so I wouldn’t fall out of it. But I was beginning to wonder how I was supposed to get out of the dress at the end of the night.
Pretty sure someone was going to have to cut it off me.
“Hello there,” Cowboy said, breaking me from my thoughts. “I’m Wade, I’m from this beautiful state of Oklahoma, and I was in the PBR.” He spoke with a deep southern accent. And my knees immediately went weak.
“Like the beer?” I asked. Apparently my brain when a little mushy too at his voice.
He laughed. Full out right, laughed. At me. Does he know what show he’s on? Does he know that I’m the one who makes the choice on whether he stays or goes? But damn it all to hell, if his laugh wasn’t the most amazing thing I’d ever hear. Deep and full and rumbly.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t laugh. You’re from that big city up north, I guess I shouldn’t expect you to know what the PBR is.” He reigned in his laughter and sounded sincere. But I still had a chip on my shoulder from his outburst.
“Well, it is a beer.” I pointed out. Trying to argue that I wasn’t a complete moron.
“You’re right. But I was a professional bull rider. PBR.” He said it slowly for me, so it would sink in.
He rode bulls? Is he freaking crazy?
“Are you crazy?!” Apparently my mouth had no filter with this man.
“I have been asked that before, but I assure you I am very sane.” With that he winked, and my knees once again almost give away, and he starts to walk away from me. But I wasn’t ready to end this conversation yet, even though I’ve just been super awkward.
“Wait!” I practically yelled. He paused next to me, his shoulder brushed against mine.
Too close. He’s too close. I could smell the light woodsy scent of him. It wasn’t overpowering like most of the guys tonight. And I found myself wanting to take another step closer to him.
“Yes?” he asked, breaking me out of my thoughts of his scent.
“Oh, um, what do you do for a living now?” I stuttered.
“I’m a farmer,” he said and gave me a little nod, brushed past me, and entered the doors.
A farmer? He was a farmer? All that sexiness oozing out of every possible crevice of that man, and he was a farmer?
Don’t judge him on his occupation Nicki. Don’t judge him on his occupation.
Those words repeated through my head as Jim walked towards me.
“Hey kid, you did awesome on the first meets. Now it’s time to go mingle and get to know them a little more. And narrow it down to fifteen. Since you already dismissed Jay already, you only have four more to eliminate.” His voice was stern, as if I had done the wrong thing.
“You never told me when to eliminate them. I figured I knew enough of myself to know that I wouldn’t be interested in Jay, so it was nicer to do it now, than to get his hopes up. Right?” I followed Jim as he walked toward the oak doors.
“Yeah, so much nicer. You knew him for all of five seconds.” Jim held the door open for me and I entered the house for the first time.
“I know what I like,” I mumbled as Jim moved into the house behind me.
Standing in the entryway was Tessa, the host of the show. I’m not sure if she was a fan of me on the first season, but right now she was all smiles. Probably because she was getting paid.
“You remember Tessa,” Jim made the re-introduction, and Tessa’s hand stretched out for mine. I shook it and gave her a polite smile, but didn’t answer Jim.
“Tessa is going to take you into the living room where all the men are waiting and explain how things are going to go tonight. Then you can mingle, or single the guys out to get to know them better. Or go with your gut reaction and just eliminate the four as soon as you walk in there,” Jim said with a wink. “Either way, there won’t be an elimination ceremony tonight, so you’ll just be dismissing them throughout the evening. I guess it’s up to you on how long you want to be here.” He gave me a knowing smile and eyed my dress. Or what they called a dress. I was still pretty positive it shouldn’t be called that.
Scrap of fabric seemed more like it.
“Got it.” I gave Jim a smile as he nodded and walked down the hall in the opposite direction.
“Bathroom,” I breathed out to Tessa when Jim left. She chuckled and pointed to a door a few feet down the hall.
When I had emptied my bladder and freshened up as best I could in the powder room, I returned to Tessa, who was still standing near the doors.
“Alright.” I clapped my hands together, ready to get this night over with. “Let’s get this party started.”
That's it.
That's all.
If you made it this far, you deserve a cookie.
Go get yourself a cookie.
Finding Me is coming...soon.
I still need to finish it.
But it's almost there.
Almost.
Let me know what you thought of the story so far.
Are you excited?
Do you think you'll love or hate Nicki?
Tell me, so I can over analyze every comment.
Just kidding, I won't do that.
Probably not.
Eh.....
For real, that's all now!
....
......
........
..........
Thank you again for reading Choose Us .
April 3, 2016
Guess Who's Back???
I like to make things difficult.It's apparently who I am.
What am I talking about, you ask?
Oh, you know...title changing, cover changing...repackaging my entire novel.
And then thinking about it months later and saying, "Wait, I liked it better before."
So, yeah. That's where we are at.
Remember when I changed Parting Chances to Love Found?
You do?
Maybe forget about that.
Because it's going back to Parting Chances .
And if you didn't even know it happened...well, you aren't missing out on anything now! And it's all less confusing for you.
Reasons why I'm changing it back?
Well, to be honest, it was totally selfish on my part for changing it in the first place.
I had thought it would sell better.
It didn't.
I thought my rankings would go up.
They didn't.
Everything actually did the opposite of what I had hoped.
But I had told myself that after the change, I would move on from that story and focus on something new.
And I did.
For five months.
But in those five months, I barely called the book Love Found.
It was always Parting Chances .
In those five months I watched helplessly as my sales took a nosedive.
Then one day I came across the PC cover on my computer.
And I missed it.
That's when I knew I had made a mistake with repackaging it.
When I knew I wanted to change it all back.
So I did.
The process caused many headaches...
But in the end, it's what I wanted.
The book is Parting Chances.
No other title will do.
So while it had a good little run as Love Found, in the end, it became what it was always supposed to be.
Parting Chances.
November 13, 2015
Happy Birthday Love Found (Parting Chances)!!
One year ago I released my second book.
A book that drained me emotionally to write.
But a book I was insanely proud of.
And a book that made a lot of you cry.
I'm not sorry about that, just saying.
This book has come a long way in a year.
The cover changed three times.
The title changed once.
We started here:
Many of you may not even remember this cover. It only lasted for two months.
While I thought (and still think) that it's gorgeous, it just didn't fit the story.
And if we're totally honest, I never really wanted a full face shot of any person.
But I couldn't find a better image to work with at that point.
Enter second cover:
I loved the feel of this cover.
The young couple.
The feet.
The not seeing any faces.
And it worked....
For a while.
I still absolutely LOVE this cover.
But there was something about it, whether the cover or the title, that was drawing very few readers in.
So I made the decision to repackage the entire book.
While the content stayed exactly the same, the cover, title, and blurb all got an upgrade.
So now, we're here:
This cover you guys.
This is the cover.
If you've read the book, I hope you can see how the cover ties in.
The new title "Love Found" makes a ton more sense. And with "Lost" being crossed off on the cover, I feel it makes even more sense.
Haley loses love, yet she finds love.
Totally makes sense.
At least to me.
And this image was one I had been working with since the very beginning.
We just had a hard time making it work, for whatever reason.
Probably because I wanted a different background and that just didn't work with this particular image.
So I kept it super simple this time.
And it worked.
I love this cover. And I love the new title.
I really think it makes more sense with the story.
Anyway, it's been a year since this book released.
One freaking year.
I will never get over the fact that I have books out there.
That people actually read.
Never.
Thank you to anyone who has read Love Found over this past year.
I've read every one of the reviews you've left - and each time one of you says this book made you cry, I can't stop the grin.
Not that I intentionally went into writing this story to make you cry.
No. It just means that the characters/story connected with you enough that you had all that emotion.
It means that I'm not a horrible writer.
Even though that's what it's felt like for the past year.
...But that's another blog post.
So again, thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who picked up this book and read it.
And thank you to anyone who recommend it to others.
And thank you to those who left reviews.
Reviews help other readers find the book.
So if you haven't left a review, and want others to read this book, maybe you'll consider leaving one now.
If not, I still love you for reading it.
And if you want to read it, here's where you can pick it up ---> http://amzn.to/1O77jym
Okay, I'm all done rambling now.
Thank you again! I seriously cannot say it enough!
A book that drained me emotionally to write.
But a book I was insanely proud of.
And a book that made a lot of you cry.
I'm not sorry about that, just saying.
This book has come a long way in a year.
The cover changed three times.
The title changed once.
We started here:
Many of you may not even remember this cover. It only lasted for two months.While I thought (and still think) that it's gorgeous, it just didn't fit the story.
And if we're totally honest, I never really wanted a full face shot of any person.
But I couldn't find a better image to work with at that point.
Enter second cover:
I loved the feel of this cover. The young couple.
The feet.
The not seeing any faces.
And it worked....
For a while.
I still absolutely LOVE this cover.
But there was something about it, whether the cover or the title, that was drawing very few readers in.
So I made the decision to repackage the entire book.
While the content stayed exactly the same, the cover, title, and blurb all got an upgrade.
So now, we're here:
This cover you guys.
This is the cover.
If you've read the book, I hope you can see how the cover ties in.
The new title "Love Found" makes a ton more sense. And with "Lost" being crossed off on the cover, I feel it makes even more sense.
Haley loses love, yet she finds love.
Totally makes sense.
At least to me.
And this image was one I had been working with since the very beginning.
We just had a hard time making it work, for whatever reason.
Probably because I wanted a different background and that just didn't work with this particular image.
So I kept it super simple this time.
And it worked.
I love this cover. And I love the new title.
I really think it makes more sense with the story.
Anyway, it's been a year since this book released.
One freaking year.
I will never get over the fact that I have books out there.
That people actually read.
Never.
Thank you to anyone who has read Love Found over this past year.
I've read every one of the reviews you've left - and each time one of you says this book made you cry, I can't stop the grin.
Not that I intentionally went into writing this story to make you cry.
No. It just means that the characters/story connected with you enough that you had all that emotion.
It means that I'm not a horrible writer.
Even though that's what it's felt like for the past year.
...But that's another blog post.
So again, thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who picked up this book and read it.
And thank you to anyone who recommend it to others.
And thank you to those who left reviews.
Reviews help other readers find the book.
So if you haven't left a review, and want others to read this book, maybe you'll consider leaving one now.
If not, I still love you for reading it.
And if you want to read it, here's where you can pick it up ---> http://amzn.to/1O77jym
Okay, I'm all done rambling now.
Thank you again! I seriously cannot say it enough!
October 21, 2015
Re-vamp of Parting Chances
I know I should be telling you about a new book.
One that I'm writing and I love to pieces.
And I can't wait for you all to read.
But you know writing has been hard for me this year.
I don't know why.
It's super frustrating.
But I want to be honest with you all.
Which is why I tell you that.
I am slowly pounding away at a story.
But the key word here is slowly.
Slower than a snails pace.
It's quite pathetic actually.
But eventually it'll be done.
One day.
So, instead of doing something productive like writing a new story, my mind has been on Parting Chances.
I love that story.
Seriously, love it.
But it seems to be getting passed by.
No one seems to really notice it.
I don't know if it's the title.
Or the cover.
Or the blurb.
But something is making people ignore it.
And that's sad.
This is a great story (if I do say so myself).
People should read it!
People should sob during it....and then create support groups to get past the aching heart.
I'm kidding.
Kind of.
I decided to re-vamp Parting Chances.
You may remember back in the beginning of the year where I changed the cover.
That helped a little.
But still, it's just not there yet.
So this is a total overhaul.
New title.
New cover.
New blurb.
Same story.
I wanted to wait until the year anniversary of the release, but I just couldn't hold it in anymore.
So I made the decision to do it in the middle of the night, with no previous mention of it.
Kind of exciting, if you're me.
Now, if you've read this far, it's time to reveal the new title/cover/blurb.
So here goes.
Parting Chances is now Love Found .
And look at this cover.
Sigh.
I love it so.
Haley Cavanaugh’s heart is broken.
Shattered into a million pieces, and that’s just how she’d like it to stay.
She doesn’t believe she deserves happiness. She doesn’t understand how to move on while her life is falling apart and her reality is destroyed.
Enter Eli Park.
Eli is someone Haley thought she knew, but who turned out to be so much more than she remembered. He sees through her pain and refuses to be pushed away, even when she lashes out.
Eli’s patience is both frustrating and surprising. Haley was so sure she wanted to go on feeling nothing, but Eli stirs emotions she can’t deny.
Will Haley allow Eli to help her through this horrific time so she can find herself again? Or will she lose the only person who can help heal her heart?
And that's it.
That's all I have to say.
I hope if you haven't read it, this will interest you into giving it a try.
It's a really good book, I promise.
And I'm not just saying that because I'm the author.
If interested, you can buy it here ---> Amazon - Love Found
(The cover for whatever reason isn't updated on the Amazon page yet, but the book content is. So when it drops to your Kindle, it'll have the new cover and title).
If you have read it, please consider leaving a spoiler free review.
Reviews are super helpful not only to other readers, but to the author as well.
And with that, I am officially done.
Let me know what you think of the new cover/title/blurb.
I love hearing what you have to say!
If you made it this far, you deserve a cookie.
I don't have a cookie, but you should find one.
One that I'm writing and I love to pieces.
And I can't wait for you all to read.
But you know writing has been hard for me this year.
I don't know why.
It's super frustrating.
But I want to be honest with you all.
Which is why I tell you that.
I am slowly pounding away at a story.
But the key word here is slowly.
Slower than a snails pace.
It's quite pathetic actually.
But eventually it'll be done.
One day.
So, instead of doing something productive like writing a new story, my mind has been on Parting Chances.
I love that story.
Seriously, love it.
But it seems to be getting passed by.
No one seems to really notice it.
I don't know if it's the title.
Or the cover.
Or the blurb.
But something is making people ignore it.
And that's sad.
This is a great story (if I do say so myself).
People should read it!
People should sob during it....and then create support groups to get past the aching heart.
I'm kidding.
Kind of.
I decided to re-vamp Parting Chances.
You may remember back in the beginning of the year where I changed the cover.
That helped a little.
But still, it's just not there yet.
So this is a total overhaul.
New title.
New cover.
New blurb.
Same story.
I wanted to wait until the year anniversary of the release, but I just couldn't hold it in anymore.
So I made the decision to do it in the middle of the night, with no previous mention of it.
Kind of exciting, if you're me.
Now, if you've read this far, it's time to reveal the new title/cover/blurb.
So here goes.
Parting Chances is now Love Found .
And look at this cover.
Sigh.
I love it so.
Haley Cavanaugh’s heart is broken.Shattered into a million pieces, and that’s just how she’d like it to stay.
She doesn’t believe she deserves happiness. She doesn’t understand how to move on while her life is falling apart and her reality is destroyed.
Enter Eli Park.
Eli is someone Haley thought she knew, but who turned out to be so much more than she remembered. He sees through her pain and refuses to be pushed away, even when she lashes out.
Eli’s patience is both frustrating and surprising. Haley was so sure she wanted to go on feeling nothing, but Eli stirs emotions she can’t deny.
Will Haley allow Eli to help her through this horrific time so she can find herself again? Or will she lose the only person who can help heal her heart?
And that's it.
That's all I have to say.
I hope if you haven't read it, this will interest you into giving it a try.
It's a really good book, I promise.
And I'm not just saying that because I'm the author.
If interested, you can buy it here ---> Amazon - Love Found
(The cover for whatever reason isn't updated on the Amazon page yet, but the book content is. So when it drops to your Kindle, it'll have the new cover and title).
If you have read it, please consider leaving a spoiler free review.
Reviews are super helpful not only to other readers, but to the author as well.
And with that, I am officially done.
Let me know what you think of the new cover/title/blurb.
I love hearing what you have to say!
If you made it this far, you deserve a cookie.
I don't have a cookie, but you should find one.
August 20, 2015
The One Where All Is The Same...
Three months.
That's the last time you heard from me.
Three months.
And what do I have to show from it?
32,672 words written.
That's not a lot.
It may seem like a lot for someone who doesn't write.
But it isn't.
Especially in three months.
I was hoping it would be done by now.
Hoping to have it out to you by the end of this month, or next.
But that's not happening.
Because writing this story is a super slow process.
I don't have an answer for why.
I know what's happening in the story.
I know where the story needs to go.
I have plot points written out for most of the chapters.
But I just can't write.
And it's so super annoying.
I sit down at my computer and do every other thing, instead of writing.
And once I pull up Scrivener, my mind draws a blank.
Write a group date? Should be easy. I even KNOW what the date is. But no words come.
Skip a few chapters and write a different date? Get 1,000 words into it, and....nothing.
Then there is the ever changing mind of mine.
Do I really want this to happen?
Is this where the story should go?
What if I changed this, and took this out? Is that easier for writing?
Will my readers believe this is really Nicki?
I need to make her meaner.
But she's actually a pretty nice girl under all the layers.
But no one will believe you if you write her like that.
But she needs to change, that's the whole point.
No one is going to believe it, Caylie. This is all a waste.
You're a horrible writer.
It's a back and forth thing.
Nothing is ever good enough.
It's frustrating, and makes me want to throw in the towel.
Now, I know I'm not a horrible writer.
I've published two full-length novels which readers seem to enjoy.
I get e-mails from readers telling me how much they loved my stories.
But for me, when you're in the midst of writing something and it's just not continuously clicking, you feel like you're the worst.
I thought I had hurdled it. In July I had gotten into the groove and wrote a ton.
But August brought me down.... a lot.
I've written all of 2,000 words this month.
I haven't even looked at my computer for a week.
I've changed my mind on the story, once again. Taking it in a slightly new direction.
I finally feel ready to attack the story again. Hoping my mind and my doubts don't resurface and I can just finish the first draft.
Finish enough to get it out to the beta readers and get a readers opinion on it.
That's where I need to get.
I need to just write.
Forget about everything else, and just write .
Write whatever Nicki tells me to write, and just go with it.
Don't doubt it. Don't question it. Just write it.
Okay, that last part was more for me than you.
I needed a pep talk.
So, I'm going to take my advice there and go write.
I'm so hoping I have a book for you by the end of the year.
And I'm hoping once I get past the second book slump, I won't have such a llloooooonnnnngggggg break between releases.
For now, I'm returning my attention to Finding Me (that's the working title for Nicki's story).
It needs to be written, she needs to be heard.
I just hope my brain cooperates.
Thanks for sticking with me this year.
That's the last time you heard from me.
Three months.
And what do I have to show from it?
32,672 words written.That's not a lot.
It may seem like a lot for someone who doesn't write.
But it isn't.
Especially in three months.
I was hoping it would be done by now.
Hoping to have it out to you by the end of this month, or next.
But that's not happening.
Because writing this story is a super slow process.
I don't have an answer for why.
I know what's happening in the story.
I know where the story needs to go.
I have plot points written out for most of the chapters.
But I just can't write.
And it's so super annoying.
I sit down at my computer and do every other thing, instead of writing.
And once I pull up Scrivener, my mind draws a blank.
Write a group date? Should be easy. I even KNOW what the date is. But no words come.
Skip a few chapters and write a different date? Get 1,000 words into it, and....nothing.
Then there is the ever changing mind of mine.
Do I really want this to happen?
Is this where the story should go?
What if I changed this, and took this out? Is that easier for writing?
Will my readers believe this is really Nicki?
I need to make her meaner.
But she's actually a pretty nice girl under all the layers.
But no one will believe you if you write her like that.
But she needs to change, that's the whole point.
No one is going to believe it, Caylie. This is all a waste.
You're a horrible writer.
It's a back and forth thing.
Nothing is ever good enough.
It's frustrating, and makes me want to throw in the towel.
Now, I know I'm not a horrible writer.
I've published two full-length novels which readers seem to enjoy.
I get e-mails from readers telling me how much they loved my stories.
But for me, when you're in the midst of writing something and it's just not continuously clicking, you feel like you're the worst.
I thought I had hurdled it. In July I had gotten into the groove and wrote a ton.
But August brought me down.... a lot.
I've written all of 2,000 words this month.
I haven't even looked at my computer for a week.
I've changed my mind on the story, once again. Taking it in a slightly new direction.
I finally feel ready to attack the story again. Hoping my mind and my doubts don't resurface and I can just finish the first draft.
Finish enough to get it out to the beta readers and get a readers opinion on it.
That's where I need to get.
I need to just write.
Forget about everything else, and just write .
Write whatever Nicki tells me to write, and just go with it.
Don't doubt it. Don't question it. Just write it.
Okay, that last part was more for me than you.
I needed a pep talk.
So, I'm going to take my advice there and go write.
I'm so hoping I have a book for you by the end of the year.
And I'm hoping once I get past the second book slump, I won't have such a llloooooonnnnngggggg break between releases.
For now, I'm returning my attention to Finding Me (that's the working title for Nicki's story).
It needs to be written, she needs to be heard.
I just hope my brain cooperates.
Thanks for sticking with me this year.
May 20, 2015
The One Where I Update You...
Things that have happened since my last post....
....
.....
......
........
..........
Nothing.
It's been a rough year, writing wise.
I just couldn't get into the groove.
I have no idea what happened.
Maybe second book slump?
I've also had 20 story ideas floating around my head, and each other currently has one or two chapters written. But that's all. That's as much as my brain would let them be written.
So, I was trying to focus on Kyler and Noah's story. I wrote 15K, and it was going nowhere fast. So I talked with my writing group and ended up starting over. Changing most of the story.
So I started over.
And was REALLY excited.
The first weekend I wrote it, I got out 7K.
And that was it. After that first weekend, I didn't look at it again.
I think maybe it's because writing Parting Chances drained me.
That was an emotionally exhausting book.
And here I was, jumping into another emotionally exhausting book.
I just couldn't do it.
I needed a break.
So, I played around with this new story idea that took up residence in my head.
One I never in a million years I thought I would write.
One who's character shocked me very much by being so different from when I first wrote her.
I've posted a teaser before. And I've mentioned it a few times, so it's no secret (unless you don't follow my FB page).
The working title for my current WIP is...
......
.......
........
Nicki's Story.
Yep. The girl you hated in Choose Us and Forever Us is back.
And gets an entire book to herself.
And I know what you're thinking.
"There is no way I am reading a story about that bitch."
Fair enough.
I thought there was no way I'd write a story about her.
I probably hated her more than anyone else (and she freaking lived in my brain!).
But she shocked me.
She's got issues.
Issues that make her seem the way she is.
She's not completely horrible.
And I'm going to prove that to you.
Plus, this is much more light-hearted than Kyler and Noah's story, and it's something I desperately needed right now.
But, it's also coming along really slowly.
So I have no idea when it's going to come out.
I'm hoping sometime this year.
You know, so I can actually publish a book in 2015.
Sigh.
That's all. That's how this year has gone for me.
I'm hoping Nicki's Story will stick with me, and I won't have to jump to something else.
Fingers crossed.
OKAY, now if you've read all of that.
I have something special for you all.
I've been sitting on this giveaway for a while now.
But it's about time, I let you all in on it.
I'm giving away a signed paperback copy of Parting Chances, a F*** Cancer t-shirt, a Wonder Woman necklace, and a makeup bag full of swag , to ONE lucky winner.
All you need to do is post a review for Parting Chances on Amazon, then comment below (or on the FB post, or message me), with the link to your review.
That's all.
It's super simple.
And it runs until the end of the month, so if you haven't had a chance to read PC, you still have time.
AND it's open INTERNATIONALLY!
Here's the awesomeness you can win.
For real that's all now.
I need to get writing.
Or do laundry...dishes...feed the tiny humans...something.
....
.....
......
........
..........
Nothing.
It's been a rough year, writing wise.
I just couldn't get into the groove.
I have no idea what happened.
Maybe second book slump?
I've also had 20 story ideas floating around my head, and each other currently has one or two chapters written. But that's all. That's as much as my brain would let them be written.
So, I was trying to focus on Kyler and Noah's story. I wrote 15K, and it was going nowhere fast. So I talked with my writing group and ended up starting over. Changing most of the story.
So I started over.
And was REALLY excited.
The first weekend I wrote it, I got out 7K.
And that was it. After that first weekend, I didn't look at it again.
I think maybe it's because writing Parting Chances drained me.
That was an emotionally exhausting book.
And here I was, jumping into another emotionally exhausting book.
I just couldn't do it.
I needed a break.
So, I played around with this new story idea that took up residence in my head.
One I never in a million years I thought I would write.
One who's character shocked me very much by being so different from when I first wrote her.
I've posted a teaser before. And I've mentioned it a few times, so it's no secret (unless you don't follow my FB page).
The working title for my current WIP is...
......
.......
........
Nicki's Story.
Yep. The girl you hated in Choose Us and Forever Us is back.
And gets an entire book to herself.
And I know what you're thinking.
"There is no way I am reading a story about that bitch."
Fair enough.
I thought there was no way I'd write a story about her.
I probably hated her more than anyone else (and she freaking lived in my brain!).
But she shocked me.
She's got issues.
Issues that make her seem the way she is.
She's not completely horrible.
And I'm going to prove that to you.
Plus, this is much more light-hearted than Kyler and Noah's story, and it's something I desperately needed right now.
But, it's also coming along really slowly.
So I have no idea when it's going to come out.
I'm hoping sometime this year.
You know, so I can actually publish a book in 2015.
Sigh.
That's all. That's how this year has gone for me.
I'm hoping Nicki's Story will stick with me, and I won't have to jump to something else.
Fingers crossed.
OKAY, now if you've read all of that.
I have something special for you all.
I've been sitting on this giveaway for a while now.
But it's about time, I let you all in on it.
I'm giving away a signed paperback copy of Parting Chances, a F*** Cancer t-shirt, a Wonder Woman necklace, and a makeup bag full of swag , to ONE lucky winner.
All you need to do is post a review for Parting Chances on Amazon, then comment below (or on the FB post, or message me), with the link to your review.
That's all.
It's super simple.
And it runs until the end of the month, so if you haven't had a chance to read PC, you still have time.
AND it's open INTERNATIONALLY!
Here's the awesomeness you can win.
For real that's all now. I need to get writing.
Or do laundry...dishes...feed the tiny humans...something.
January 20, 2015
New Cover for Parting Chances and SALE!
Guess what?
Parting Chances has a new cover.
And it's lovely.
Gorgeous.
Amazing.
And feels much more Haley and Eli than the old one did.
Check it out.
ALSO!!
And that's a HUGE ALSO...
Parting Chances is on SALE right now for 99 pennies.
Yep.
99 whole pennies.
So if you've been thinking about getting it, now would be the time!
The sale is for a limited time only.
Get this book in your hands!
Pick it up here ----> http://amzn.to/1J1z7kI
And one more thing before you leave.
Since I'm relaunching Parting Chances, I'd doing a giveaway.
It's an awesome one.
1 winner gets a signed paperback of PC and a Wonder Woman necklace.
1 winner gets a $10 Amazon Gift Card.
1 winner gets a $5 Amazon Gift Card.
Fun stuff folks!
Just enter the Rafflecopter below.
Super easy!
And I hope you love the new cover as much as I do. And I'm hoping you grab it up for 99 pennies and fall in love with Haley and Eli, as I do.
Thanks for reading!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Parting Chances has a new cover.
And it's lovely.
Gorgeous.
Amazing.
And feels much more Haley and Eli than the old one did.
Check it out.
ALSO!!And that's a HUGE ALSO...
Parting Chances is on SALE right now for 99 pennies.
Yep.
99 whole pennies.
So if you've been thinking about getting it, now would be the time!
The sale is for a limited time only.
Get this book in your hands!
Pick it up here ----> http://amzn.to/1J1z7kI
And one more thing before you leave.Since I'm relaunching Parting Chances, I'd doing a giveaway.
It's an awesome one.
1 winner gets a signed paperback of PC and a Wonder Woman necklace.
1 winner gets a $10 Amazon Gift Card.1 winner gets a $5 Amazon Gift Card.
Fun stuff folks!
Just enter the Rafflecopter below.
Super easy!
And I hope you love the new cover as much as I do. And I'm hoping you grab it up for 99 pennies and fall in love with Haley and Eli, as I do.
Thanks for reading!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
December 15, 2014
On The 4th Day of Christmas, Riley and Travis Gave to You...
Okay, so I don't exactly know when the 12 day of Christmas are supposed to start. Is it twelve days before Christmas? Twelve days after?
Hmm, so after an extensive (not really) internet search, it seems the twelve days of Christmas starts on Christmas day. Interesting.
We like to jump the gun a bit, I guess. But who doesn't like gifts twelve days before Christmas?
I know I do.
And you probably do too.
Anyway, I have the pleasure of being one of the authors & bloggers of the 12 Days of Christmas, hosted by Reading and Things.
The goal is to answer a holiday-themed question (which if you follow my Facebook or Tsu page, you'll know I've been answering them daily already) and maybe have some goodies for you.
I have goodies, I promise.
Like really, really, really good goodies.
You may love me forever.
I mean, I love me forever with what I have planned.
But first I must answer today's question!
What is your favorite Christmas song?
Okay, this is tough. I love Christmas music. I may or may not start listening in October. Sometimes earlier. Sometimes I may never stop listening to it.
It just makes me so happy.
And people like it when I'm happy.
Trust me.
Just ask the hubs.
Anyway, this is a no judging zone. So when I tell you that one of my favorite Christmas songs is, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays by Nsync, you just smile, nod and listen to it.
Because it is freaking catchy.
And totally puts you in the holiday mood.
Plus, come on. Justin Timberlake? Seriously.
Christmas is always better with a little JT.
I used to work in retail and this song would come on no more than ten times a day during the holiday season. And you better believe I sang along each time I heard it. That, and it just put me in a better mood overall.
Have you ever worked retail during the holiday season?
Yeah, let's just say, not exactly a pleasant time.
But a little Nsync can go a long way and making things bearable.
Okay - now you get to listen.
Click on it.
Do it.
Listen to the awesomeness that is Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.
And I'm going to add another one.
Like I said, I love Christmas music.
So it's physically impossible for me to pick just one.
Here's a classic.
O Holy Night.
Love it.
Love it more, when it's sung by Josh Groban.
Because I love that man.
And that voice!
Want to know when I started listening to him?
Just guess.
Did you guess?
Well, I was 17. SEVENTEEN when I started listening to him.
Seriously, my music tastes were all over the place back then, but he was definitely in a category of his own.
When he released his Christmas album, Noel, you better believe I was first in line to get it.
Okay, probably not, but I got it that first year.
And listen to it repeatedly every year.
Sometimes I break it out in July.
No judge zone here, people!
Just, listen.
That's all I can say.
Listen and fall in love with Josh too.
You're welcome.
Okay, now on to the part you've been waiting for.
You might not know you've been waiting for it, but you have.
Why else would you read to this point?
Seriously, the above was just a crazy person rambling.
I give you props for getting this far.
Am I stalling?
Kind of seems that way.
I just wanted to say, thank you to each and every one of you, for reading my books, for the e-mails, messages and FB comments, for making the past nine months the best experience ever.
It's mind-boggling to realize that it's only been nine months since I released Choose Us.
It's crazy how you all accepted that book.
You loved it.
Which is just...amazing.
I have no other word, everything is just amazing.
But when I think about Choose Us, I get a little sad, because I miss Riley and Travis.
They are my babies.
And I adore them.
They decided to give you a Christmas present. To say THANK YOU for everything.
It's just a little short story.
That happens around Christmas time.
It may or may not include their wedding.
And it is most definitely FREE!
I'll be releasing it on Friday. Okay, maybe not releasing it, but I'll provide a link for it.
I know.
You have to wait until Friday.
What a freaking tease I am!
But it's taking longer than I thought it would.
They keep talking to me.
Which means, it's also getting longer than I thought it would.
So, that's something, right?
Did I also mention it's free?
I won't be so mean as to not give you anything.
Here's a little teaser for your enjoyment.
“Cheer up, buttercup. We’re done with the décor until Friday. Tomorrow we get to party the night away, on one of the last nights of you being a single girl.”
That produced a shudder from me and I ran to the fridge to grab another beer.
“The idea of marrying me turns you off that much?” Travis eyes the beer I’m chugging and his eyebrow twitched up.
The alcohol went straight to my head. I set the beer down and walked slowly forward, until I was chest to chest with Travis.
My hand rest against the hard muscles of his stomach and I glance up at him with hooded eyes. “You know nothing about you turns me off.”
Travis’ tongue darts out and wets his lower lip, before pulling it between his teeth.
Yep, we need to be upstairs in bed, now.
“Uh, looks like we’ve overstayed our visit, Tay.” I hear Chase say. But my eyes are focused only on the man in front of me.
“Yeah, let’s get out of here before he has her on top of the counter,” Taylor says as they shuffle quickly down the hallway.
The counter, why didn’t I think of that? I would love for you to join me tonight while I take over the 12 Days of Christmas event on Facebook.
Come, hang out with me.
Maybe win some prizes?
Maybe chat with some characters?
Maybe another teaser of Forever Us?
Maybe a teaser from Final Chances?
Maybe a teaser from a super-secret project??
No.. I don't have any of those, now that Forever Us is known to you all.
I had to make a little cover to go with the short story.
Makes me smile every time I see it!
Hope to see you all tonight at the 12 Days of Christmas Event!
November 13, 2014
Parting Chances is LIVE
After months of writing and editing. And weeks of waiting, it's here.
Parting Chances is LIVE!
No big deal or anything.
Oh, who am I kidding. It's a huge deal!
It's my second freaking book released this year.
And I'm freaking out just as much this time, as I did last time.
Seriously.
I got maybe 4.5 hours of sleep last night.
Every time I woke up (be it the kids or the hubs crawling into bed) my instinct was the reach for my phone.
I didn't.
But it didn't help getting back to sleep.
I'm tired today.
I haven't had my coffee yet.
And people are reading my book.
Yep. Freakouts are acceptable, I think.
Anyway, if you want to read it. It's there.
On Amazon.
For the world to see.
And if you do read it,
Thank you!
I hope you enjoy it!
The road of Haley Cavanaugh’s life has been filled with cracks, potholes and detour signs. Her mom’s cancer forced her to grow up too fast and her brother has moved across the country instead of sticking around when she needs him most. Now, her parents are forcing her to move out. They say she needs to follow through with the plans she’s set for herself, but Haley is torn between her dreams and her family’s reality. The only thing she has to look forward to is living with her best friend, Kyler.
What she doesn't need right now? Eli Park. Haley remembers him as Kyler’s boyfriend’s geeky roommate, but he’s anything but geeky now. Now, he's downright hot. And Haley cannot get him out of her head.
It would be easier if they didn’t have class together five days a week. Or have weekly study dates. And if she didn’t spend way too much time with Kyler at Eli’s house. But, the closer he gets and the harder she falls, the more Haley pulls away. Her heart is too fragile to end up broken on the side of the road. She thinks she’s got it under control until Eli brings home another girl and Haley realizes what she has to lose.
As Haley’s life is turned further upside down, will she be left to pick up the pieces of her heart alone?
Parting Chances is LIVE!
No big deal or anything.
Oh, who am I kidding. It's a huge deal!
It's my second freaking book released this year.
And I'm freaking out just as much this time, as I did last time.
Seriously.
I got maybe 4.5 hours of sleep last night.
Every time I woke up (be it the kids or the hubs crawling into bed) my instinct was the reach for my phone.
I didn't.
But it didn't help getting back to sleep.
I'm tired today.
I haven't had my coffee yet.
And people are reading my book.
Yep. Freakouts are acceptable, I think.
Anyway, if you want to read it. It's there.
On Amazon.
For the world to see.
And if you do read it,
Thank you!
I hope you enjoy it!
The road of Haley Cavanaugh’s life has been filled with cracks, potholes and detour signs. Her mom’s cancer forced her to grow up too fast and her brother has moved across the country instead of sticking around when she needs him most. Now, her parents are forcing her to move out. They say she needs to follow through with the plans she’s set for herself, but Haley is torn between her dreams and her family’s reality. The only thing she has to look forward to is living with her best friend, Kyler. What she doesn't need right now? Eli Park. Haley remembers him as Kyler’s boyfriend’s geeky roommate, but he’s anything but geeky now. Now, he's downright hot. And Haley cannot get him out of her head.
It would be easier if they didn’t have class together five days a week. Or have weekly study dates. And if she didn’t spend way too much time with Kyler at Eli’s house. But, the closer he gets and the harder she falls, the more Haley pulls away. Her heart is too fragile to end up broken on the side of the road. She thinks she’s got it under control until Eli brings home another girl and Haley realizes what she has to lose.
As Haley’s life is turned further upside down, will she be left to pick up the pieces of her heart alone?
November 7, 2014
Friday Reads - Current Favorites
Let's try something new, shall we? In an effort to be more active here, I'm going to start some weekly blog posts.
So, we'll start today, because...well, it's today. Every Friday (or hopefully every Friday), I'll post some books I've read/want to read that I think you should too!
And today, since I've read a massive amount in a short amount of time (that's what happens when you are stuck in the writing/editing cave for the last few months), I'd share with you some of the ones I just finished that I love.
Better by Carey Heywood
This isn't the first book I've read by Carey, nor will it be the last. But it is the one that had my crying right away in the beginning.
Curse you, Carey! Curse you!
That being said, it was an amazing story. And I love Adam. That is all.
Aubrey is embarking on a bucket list trip around the world, the last wish of her Aunt Ally. It was supposed to be the trip Ally would take when she got better. Now it's just a chance for Aubrey to say goodbye.
Adam escapes in his solo trips overseas, working just enough to fund the next one. When the opportunity to circle the globe falls in his lap he can't refuse. The only catch, he won't be traveling alone this time.
Unable to hide from each other Adam's overprotective nature thwarts Aubrey's desire to find her own way. Can they move past initial assumptions to find something better?
Bright Side by Kim Holden
So...yeah. All I can say is this book was amazing. Also heart-wrenching. And you probably need to buy stock in Kleenex for the last 20% of the book.
Here's an idea: read Better, Bright Side, and Parting Chances in a row. It'll be amazing. You'll thank me later.
Secrets.
Everyone has one.
Some are bigger than others.
And when secrets are revealed,
Some will heal you ...
And some will end you.
Kate Sedgwick’s life has been anything but typical. She’s endured hardship and tragedy, but throughout it all she remains happy and optimistic (there’s a reason her best friend Gus calls her Bright Side). Kate is strong-willed, funny, smart, and musically gifted. She’s also never believed in love. So when Kate leaves San Diego to attend college in the small town of Grant, Minnesota, the last thing she expects is to fall in love with Keller Banks.
They both feel it.
But they each have a reason to fight it.
They each have a secret.
And when secrets are revealed,
Some will heal you …
And some will end you.
The Beaumont Series by Heidi McLaughlin
I read Forever My Girl a long time ago. Like January 2013. And I loved it. I loved Liam so freaking much. I doubted the following books would match the first one.
Oh, how I was wrong. I devoured My Unexpected Forever and Finding My Forever. DEVOURED THEM!
And Harrison, in MUF is my favorite. My absolute favorite guy from these books. I love him so much. I can't even express into words how much I love him.
And I was blown away by FMF. I didn't have high expectations for Jimmy from the previous two books. But he blew me away. If I didn't love Harrison so much, I'd say Jimmy was my favorite. Which is saying something, folks. Because I held a candle for Liam for ages!
Let's just face it, Heidi writes amazing book boyfriends.
I was never supposed to be a rock star. I had my life all planned out for me. Play football in college. Go to the NFL. Marry my high school sweetheart and live happily ever after.
I broke both our hearts that day when I told her I was leaving. I was young. I made the right decision for me, but the wrong decision for us. I’ve poured my soul into my music, but I’ve never forgotten her. Her smell, her smile.
And now I’m going back.
After ten years.
I hope I can explain that after all this time.
I still want her to be my forever girl.
I expected a life of music.
I expected to raise my son.
It took one look to make everything change.
I never expected happiness.
I never expected to find her.
I never expected to feel desire.
I never expected I’d be a family man.
I never expected to be loved.
I never expected to fall in love.
They say you should expect the unexpected, I didn’t realize my unexpected would be the forever kind.
Everywhere I look, my friends are settling down - marriage, children, white picket fences; but not me. Marriage isn't in the cards for me. I'm a ladies man.
A rock star.
I was born and raised in the industry.
I love everything about my life, especially the attention from the women that my status brings me.
Women find me. I don't chase. I know what they want and they know I'll deliver.
But after one look, one touch, one night...
Now I'm the one doing the chasing.
I need to find a way to show her that I'm serious, that I can change.
I need to find a way to show her that I can love her fully, and only her.
I need to find a way to show her that she's my forever.
So, we'll start today, because...well, it's today. Every Friday (or hopefully every Friday), I'll post some books I've read/want to read that I think you should too!
And today, since I've read a massive amount in a short amount of time (that's what happens when you are stuck in the writing/editing cave for the last few months), I'd share with you some of the ones I just finished that I love.
Better by Carey Heywood
This isn't the first book I've read by Carey, nor will it be the last. But it is the one that had my crying right away in the beginning.
Curse you, Carey! Curse you!
That being said, it was an amazing story. And I love Adam. That is all.
Aubrey is embarking on a bucket list trip around the world, the last wish of her Aunt Ally. It was supposed to be the trip Ally would take when she got better. Now it's just a chance for Aubrey to say goodbye.
Adam escapes in his solo trips overseas, working just enough to fund the next one. When the opportunity to circle the globe falls in his lap he can't refuse. The only catch, he won't be traveling alone this time.
Unable to hide from each other Adam's overprotective nature thwarts Aubrey's desire to find her own way. Can they move past initial assumptions to find something better?
Bright Side by Kim Holden
So...yeah. All I can say is this book was amazing. Also heart-wrenching. And you probably need to buy stock in Kleenex for the last 20% of the book.
Here's an idea: read Better, Bright Side, and Parting Chances in a row. It'll be amazing. You'll thank me later.
Secrets.
Everyone has one.
Some are bigger than others.
And when secrets are revealed,
Some will heal you ...
And some will end you.
Kate Sedgwick’s life has been anything but typical. She’s endured hardship and tragedy, but throughout it all she remains happy and optimistic (there’s a reason her best friend Gus calls her Bright Side). Kate is strong-willed, funny, smart, and musically gifted. She’s also never believed in love. So when Kate leaves San Diego to attend college in the small town of Grant, Minnesota, the last thing she expects is to fall in love with Keller Banks.
They both feel it.
But they each have a reason to fight it.
They each have a secret.
And when secrets are revealed,
Some will heal you …
And some will end you.
The Beaumont Series by Heidi McLaughlin
I read Forever My Girl a long time ago. Like January 2013. And I loved it. I loved Liam so freaking much. I doubted the following books would match the first one.
Oh, how I was wrong. I devoured My Unexpected Forever and Finding My Forever. DEVOURED THEM!
And Harrison, in MUF is my favorite. My absolute favorite guy from these books. I love him so much. I can't even express into words how much I love him.
And I was blown away by FMF. I didn't have high expectations for Jimmy from the previous two books. But he blew me away. If I didn't love Harrison so much, I'd say Jimmy was my favorite. Which is saying something, folks. Because I held a candle for Liam for ages!
Let's just face it, Heidi writes amazing book boyfriends.
I was never supposed to be a rock star. I had my life all planned out for me. Play football in college. Go to the NFL. Marry my high school sweetheart and live happily ever after. I broke both our hearts that day when I told her I was leaving. I was young. I made the right decision for me, but the wrong decision for us. I’ve poured my soul into my music, but I’ve never forgotten her. Her smell, her smile.
And now I’m going back.
After ten years.
I hope I can explain that after all this time.
I still want her to be my forever girl.
I expected a life of music.I expected to raise my son.
It took one look to make everything change.
I never expected happiness.
I never expected to find her.
I never expected to feel desire.
I never expected I’d be a family man.
I never expected to be loved.
I never expected to fall in love.
They say you should expect the unexpected, I didn’t realize my unexpected would be the forever kind.
Everywhere I look, my friends are settling down - marriage, children, white picket fences; but not me. Marriage isn't in the cards for me. I'm a ladies man.A rock star.
I was born and raised in the industry.
I love everything about my life, especially the attention from the women that my status brings me.
Women find me. I don't chase. I know what they want and they know I'll deliver.
But after one look, one touch, one night...
Now I'm the one doing the chasing.
I need to find a way to show her that I'm serious, that I can change.
I need to find a way to show her that I can love her fully, and only her.
I need to find a way to show her that she's my forever.
