Ralene Faye Berry's Blog

I believe that God gave each of us a story to be a testimony in order to help someone else. We have not been allowed to go through sufferering without a purpose. It is for our own personal growth as well as the growth of others.  I was a firm believer that if I live a good life that would be enough to be an example to others but I began to learn the healing power of sharing my story, firsthand. 
I admit this was not something that came easy to me as I never desired others to empathize with my pain but I began to notice it helped me heal through some of the most difficult experiences, when I shared my story. Initially, while suffering, I began to share with those close to me and their lack of understanding caused me more pain than the current suffering. Amazingly, while teaching Scrapbooking, I began sharing small pieces of my story in my own brand of Rae Of SonShine. It is my method of sharing a painful story and authentically demonstrating with joy, peace, and delight the goodness of Christ in the midst of my pain. This came about gradually as I taught others how to create "All About Me" albums that told their story.  I learned that no one could tell my story better than me so I stepped from behind the camera and began to focus on me. Doing so, even when I wasn't happy with my body (another story, another day) I found the beauty in me. Teaching this method of Scrapbooking and journaling your story was the first step to helping others heal through their story. I too was healing in the process. 
After many years of teaching and sharing, it was revealed to me that not everyone is going to understand your journey but there are many that do understand it. Those that understood were the ones that God had strategically placed in my life for me to share and even grow from. Becoming an author came from sharing the story. I remember my friend who saw a book in me before I did, yet  continually encouraged me to tell the story. Prayerfully, I worried who wanted to hear my story. God's response "tell it anyway." I admit I have not published the full story yet but my book As I Encourage You, I Encourage Myself! shares more than I ever imagined sharing. 
As a public speaker, I transparently share my story as I have learned that there is someone out there that my story gives them hope. We never know who's listening or needs to hear our story. I read on PsychologyToday, "Every time you tell your story and someone else who cares bears witness to it, you turn off the body’s stress responses, flipping off toxic stress hormones like cortisol and epinephrine and flipping on relaxation responses that release healing hormones like oxytocin, dopamine, nitric oxide, and endorphins." 
There's healing in your story for you, as well as others. 
No matter what business you pursue, find a way to incorporate your beautiful story. God gave it to you for a purpose. Testimonies are meant to be spoken!
I encourage you to find and tell your story! Propel Your Problems to Potential!
Never forget, As I Encourage You, I Encourage Myself!

Check out our page at Www.facebook.com/RaleneBerryContact us for a Free Coaching Session at www.RaleneSpeaks.com

As a chronic pain sufferer, when I am asked "how are you today?" my response is joyfully "I'm pressing!" There is not a day I am not in pain some days are greater than others but I have learned to press on in spite of pain, in spite of problems, in spite of panic.  I have learned that peace, purpose and potential is on the other side giving me something to press on for with joy. 

I am reminded of Paul in the Book of Philippians who was experiencing a great deal of panic, problems and pains at the hands of others but specifically in the name of Christ. He desired to encourage the saints at Philippi on how to live a life pleasing to God despite the things we go through. He opens chapter 3 with "rejoice in the Lord!" His focus is joy in the Lord will help us make it through.  Our joy will not come from material wealth, as this will pass away. Our joy will not come from idolizing others as man will let you down. It will not come from the many titles you carry because the greatest title is "chosen." He continues by providing examples of how to find that joy. I rejoice when he says, "I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:14 NASB) He identifies that there's joy in pressing.

So, how do you experience joy in pressing?There is joy in maturing – I often hear people say "I am not perfect." This is true as no matter how good we are we won't be perfect until, as Christians, we see Jesus face-to-face. In the bible, the word perfect means "mature, complete, bring to an end, finish, accomplish." I love the word mature as each day we are maturing getting more and more like Christ and we should find joy in this maturity by striving to living a life pleasing to God. No, you're not perfect yet, but you are maturing and growing to perfection, daily!There is joy is forgetting  – We all have a past but our past does not define us! Our past is only a tool to be used to teach us not hold us back. Paul tells us:  Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, (Philippians 3:13 NASB). He is speaking of perfection. He confesses he's not there yet but he forgets those things behind him to reach the things in front of him. My pastor says, "we can't move forward while looking backwards." Have you tried walking full steam ahead while your head is turned backwards? It's virtually impossible.  We have to learn to let go of our past.  Forget what you couldn't do last year! Forget what people said about you! Forget about the mistakes you have made! The joy in forgetting is it allows you to see the dream and vision fully. There is joy in pressing  - Yes, we may experience pain! Yes, there may be problems along the way! Yes, it may not feel comfortable and we panic but imagine for a moment what you are missing out on.  There is an ultimate goal that each of us must keep in perspective.  Mine is ultimately please God.  I cannot do this if I succumb to pain or the things going on around me. The joy in pressing is that pleasing God brings us joy. (Art of Reciprocity). Yesterday in pain, I spent the day working my business side by side with my daughter. Watching her shine as she shared her business with others was worth the pain of getting out of bed and making the two hour drive. I share this because sometimes we never know what we are missing until we get up and keep pressing. Don't miss the mark of the higher calling! Keep pressing! There's joy in them there hills!Remember the joy of the Lord is our Strength! Even when we are tired He provides us the joy to keep pressing! 
I encourage you to keep pressing in all you do knowing that there's joy! Propel Your Problems to Potential!
Never forget, As I Encourage You, I Encourage Myself!

Check out our page at Www.facebook.com/RaleneBerryContact us for a Free Coaching Session at www.RaleneSpeaks.com

Today, I write from a different prospective. Instead of providing insight from past pain, I write in the midst of pain, prayerfully, helping someone that maybe going through emotional or physical pain. For the last four days, I have had a headache that has gotten progressively worse each day. As I write, I am at my worse but find this process of writing healing as I focus on helping and not pain.
I do not deny that pain has been a major culprit my entire life but I refuse to allow it to steal my joy, my purpose, and my dreams.  There was a time in my life where I would become so deeply depressed because of the chronic pain. I know it hurt my marriage and ruined many family days when my daughter was growing up. I have learned to cope with the pain and live a productive life in spite of it. I now write journal entries for Migraine.com to help other sufferers that believe there is no hope or that doctors are not listening. I believe it's important for sufferers to know that they are not alone.
 I have been suffering since I was a little girl. This was during the time when it was believed that the pain was in our head, literally. This was during the time when it was considered a "female problem." Statistic show more men have headaches than women yet more women choose to seek medical attention. 
I have chosen to share my story because there are too many sufferers that are misunderstood. Including myself. We are survivors! All pain sufferers no matter what type of pain you're enduring. Even as I type this through blinded pain my prayer is for silent pain awareness. 
Do not feel sorry for me! I thank God for the journey! He has chosen me for this journey for a purpose and that is to be a testimony of His goodness in the midst of my pain.  
Never forget, As I Encourage You, I Encourage Myself!


Check out our page at Www.facebook.com/RaleneBerryContact us for a Free Coaching Session at www.RaleneSpeaks.com

In recent years, I have been intrigued by the Art of Reciprocity. First, I had to learn how to say the word which intrigued me because it was a tongue twister. I thank God for online dictionaries where you can hear a word because this word is not one that could phonetically be sounded out. Ok, I digress. 

The Rule of Reciprocity, rec·i·proc·i·ty,  can be defined as "a conditioned response where people are compelled to return the kindness of a gift, even if they really don't want to."  Anytime I see the word compelled, I get even more intrigued as I am reminded of Jesus being compelled to travel to Samaria where He encounters the woman at the well. "He had to pass through Samaria" (John 4:4) identifies that He had a strong need to go there to bless this woman. When we are compelled to return the kindness of a gift, it is a strong desire inside of us that we either want to do something in return, say thank you or tell someone else about it.

When we think of the Art of Reciprocity, it takes this compulsion even further because not only are we desiring to return the favor but others in return are compelled by our actions. This seems so simple that if more of us incorporated this into our every day lives the world would be a better place. We would have better relationships with family, friends, strangers, and business acquaintances. We would have better marriages, friendships, and partnerships. If we built our business on this foundation, we would not have customers but relationships between our clients that are long lasting and mutually beneficial.

Wouldn't it be amazing to have someone you did business with come back forever instead of purchasing from you just once? Imagine, you are a coach and you delivered a one time service but did not engage in reciprocity. The next time the individual needed a coach they hired someone else. It probably is not because you did not provide good service but you failed to build the relationship as a give-take-give. This can be applied to any type of business as well as in life.
So, how do you exercise the Art of Reciprocity?Be Willing to Give – Giving is sometimes hard but it is so rewarding. We are often afraid of giving because we will not receive in return or be appreciated.  Jesus tells us "It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Interestingly, the word blessed in Greek is happy! Wow, it makes you happy to give. Begin by challenging yourself over the next 10 days to give without the thought of receiving in return and let me know if you feel happier. Your problems will not go away but you will have a renewed sense of peace. As business owners, try giving in your business instead of selling. Social media training advises that you should provide 90% give and 10% sell. This applies here. Give of yourself 90% before you ask for the sell. You will be surprised that you will not have to ask for the sell. It will come back tenfold. Not only are you happy but you are blessed, materially and spiritually. Give a little, you might like it!Be Open to Give with No Return  – As I help younger people, I often hear "I'm not doing anything for them they never do anything for me." Ouch! First off, recognize that it is important to do for others without looking for anything in return. Watch what comes back to you from places you least expect it. This is called Indirect Reciprocity. Person A does for Person B and Person C does for Person A. This is more common than A to B then B to A. When we realize that individuals that we help may not be in the position to help in return does not mean that they do not have a circle of influence who can give. Never doubt that you will be blessed in return for your giving. Person B may share what you have done and business may come your way. More importantly, it requires that we give without thought of getting in return. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying give away all your talents. I am saying be open to give to get, you will get more than you imagined!Be Prepared to Receive - One of the hardest things for me is receiving, but I'm learning. When I wrote my book,  As I Encourage You, I Encourage Myself,  I really got a grasp of what it meant to give to others even if its encouragement. When I began to encourage others in the midst of my personal struggles, I was greatly blessed and encouraged in return. I recognized that my struggles were not that bad. Also, my words to others actually strengthen me. I received immensely more. Once you begin giving of yourself, the Power of Reciprocity takes effect and you will begin receiving. Your business will grow. Your marriages will be strengthen. Your relationships will be intimate. Your life will change. Receive ON!!!!!Give a little, you may be surprised that it doesn't cost you much but the blessing is amazing!
I encourage you to enjoy the Art of Reciprocity! Let me know how it goes for you!  Propel Your Problems to Potential!
Never forget, As I Encourage You, I Encourage Myself!

Check out our page at Www.facebook.com/RaleneBerryContact us for a Free Coaching Session at www.RaleneSpeaks.com

Yesterday's entry focused on not being afraid of a do-over yet the key is being afraid. Fear is what keeps us from so many God given dreams that I would be remiss in not addressing it separately. I purposely say us because I know that fear has personally held me back for more years that I care to remember. 

While training to become a Christian Counselor, the instructor focused two entire sessions on fear because it is the root of most people problems even when they do not want to admit it or cannot place their finger on it. FEAR can be defined as False Evidence Appearing Real. I love this definition as it epitomize the essence of fear to me because it is those things within our mind that appear so real and control our reality yet are not factual. 
In 2007, after an accidental overdose, I experienced a period of homelessness that was real as the hair on my head and the eyes on my face yet fear controlled me and held me in bondage. It was keeping me from that do-over that I speak so boldly about today. My homelessness was real. My medical issues were real. My lack of finances were real yet this is not where fear had me bound. Fear had a hold of me that I could not get out of being homelessness. Fear had me believing that my health would never improve. Fear told me that no one loved me and would help me. Fear drove me to believe I would never be anything but what I was at that moment. Fear had me blinded to the fact that I was once a successful business woman, mother, wife, and Christian. Fear felt so real to me that I saw nothing but what my mind told me to believe. 

So you ask how do you overcome fear? 


Realign your thinking – I absolutely love Joyce Meyer's Battlefield of the Mind and Power Thoughts as they books show Gods way of realigning our thinking. In Power Thoughts, she tells us that we can teach our mind to work for us. Most importantly is that the brain is an every maturing organ that never stops until death. I hear people in my business say often that I am just a negative person. This does not have to be the truth. You can relearn your thinking to be positive. Begin by thinking positive thoughts even in the midst of your circumstances. Rewrite the story  – Fear is those stories we tell ourselves. If it is that simple then rewrite the stories. Find a new story to tell yourself. I began telling myself that I was going to get through this. I am loved. I am wonderfully and fearfully made. (Psalm 139:14) Guess what my story changed because I was now living a new story. Rewrite your story and begin to live! Reignite your passion - Find that fun thing to do and fear cannot stop you from being you. I know you will laugh but while homeless, I danced! I took dancing lessons for free (find them in your community) and danced. I learned Salsa, Tango, Ballroom, Tap and more. I had the time of my life. I frequently quote from my book Dancing in the Rain produces His Promises ! Yes, I was experiencing the most difficult time of my life but found out I could dance and enjoy life. Reignite your passion. It's burning inside you! FEAR has no POWER! 
I Encourage you to enjoy life to the fullest! It is too short to allow fear to write the story. Write your own story! Propel Your Problems to Potential!
Never forget, As I Encourage You, I Encourage Myself!


Check out our page at Www.facebook.com/RaleneBerryContact us for a Free Coaching Session at www.RaleneSpeaks.com

I remember as a little girl playing with my friends and when I made a mistake I would boldly yell for a "do-over."  This was my opportunity to try again and do it differently. As adults we have become afraid to take the chance of doing it again. Often, it is because a do-over is seen as a failure instead of a new opportunity. I admit, as I approach my 50th Birthday, I recognize that my greatest successes has been a "do-over" after divorce, depression and despair. 
When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. That is done by not by being afraid to "do-over" and get that fresh start whether it's to overcome obstacles, start a new business, write a book, change your career, or embrace a new relationship. 
So, how do you do a do-over boldly?Acknowledge the Need – Recognize a do-over is necessary. We often stay stuck because we are constantly thinking there is nothing wrong. The simplicity of childhood is we were not afraid to ask for the do-over because we were not afraid to embrace that we needed it. It truly is a battlefield of the mind. "For as he thinks within himself, so he is" according to Proverbs 23:7 Change your mindset! Not only acknowledging the need to do-over but acknowledge that you can do-over! Embrace the change and do it!  Acknowledge your Gifts – You have been endowed with an enormous amount of gifts. When we are younger we focus on that one gift that will make us a great deal of money but often we need to change our focus and the gifts that God has given us that enriches not only ourselves but others. Notice that I keep saying gifts in the plural sense as we are not confined to one gift but numerous gifts. Recognize the various things that you do well and embrace the tasks that you can do when your do-over come. I have always been amazing with numbers and when I had to surrender my position as a software engineer it was very easy for me to build a stay at home career around income taxes and accounting. I love helping others and have fully embraced my gift of encouragement to become a life coach. Acknowledge your gifts and be be whatever you desire to be!Acknowledge your Strengths- Never forget that you have been accomplishing great things over the years. Look back and recognize how strong you really are in some of your past failures and accomplishments. We tend to forget that we have overcome already and that we can do it again especially when we are faced with a fearful event. When I was experiencing my divorce, I too began to say I can't make it but was quickly reminded of how I overcame the death of my parents and illness. This gave me strength to preserve through the storm. I quoted Paul constantly, "I can do all things through Christ that strengthen me." (Philippians 4:13) You too are strong!Acknowledge the Change - Change is fun!!!! Embrace who you are with dignity. We are given many talents for a purpose. That purpose is to be used to enjoy life to the fullest. When we begin to enjoy life we can change with grace and dignity. Not all change is bad. Some is for our good. I recognize that each of my do-overs has brought me closer to a better me and fulling my dreams. Instead of being afraid of a do-over welcome it so that you too can experience the life that you were born for. Your change is wrapped in your do-over. Do it!A Do-Over can be fun!
I personally have gone from Software Engineer, Web Designer, Tax Consultant, Franchise Manager, to Author, Speaker, Minister and Coach. I have had my ups and downs yet I recognize that as long as I am utilizing my gifts, serving others, finding joy and ultimately pleasing God. Each do-over is worth the journey! 
I Encourage you to enjoy your journey and embrace each do-over with a smile!  Propel Your Problems to Potential!
Never forget, As I Encourage You, I Encourage Myself!


Check out our page at Www.facebook.com/RaleneBerryContact us for a Free Coaching Session at www.RaleneSpeaks.com

I am currently performing my ministry internship at Community Baptist Church, The Woodlands as God is using me to expand my territory teaching the Tony Evans Kingdom Woman Series. As a student at Grace School of Theology, students preparing to graduate must participate in a semester long internship program. 
As we study Kingdom Woman, it is apparent that Christ sees our worth and has a role for every one in His kingdom. He is calling His divinely purposed women who are daughters of Abraham to step up and take their rightful place in the Kingdom. As diamonds that Christ has seeked, He is refining us daily. Despite a little dirt we are still a diamond in Christ's eye.  
As diamonds in the rough, we should allow our actions, thoughts and words reflect Christ.  In doing so we become the rare, refined, and renewed diamond that only a Kingdom Woman is destined to be.


I encourage you to be like the woman at the well and acknowledge when God is seeking you! Also, you do not have remain bent over. Tony says, “Before you check out, check up.” 

Tony tells the story of a child who wants a chocolate-chip cookie and badgers her mother into buying her some at the grocery store checkout line—the child did not give up. Likewise, kingdom women should not give up but instead look to God to meet their needs. 
You are a Kingdom Woman! 
I Encourage you to Shine like the Diamon you are! Propel Your Problems to Potential!

Never forget, As I Encourage You, I Encourage Myself!


Check out our page at Www.facebook.com/RaleneBerryAnd our new products at www.RaleneSpeaks.com

Propel Problems 2 Potential Series


Situations come in our lives where we have prayed and it seems God has no answer. Yet, we fail to realize He answers in three ways:

Yes!No!Not Yet!
Personally, I have learned that there is a blessing in each answer requiring us to have faith in God believing that He has our best interest at heart!

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31 KJV)
How do we recognize God is working things out for our good when His answer is No or Not Yet?No! is for Protection – Recognize that No is for your protection. There is something in what you are asking for that God is protecting you from.  As a little girl wanting to ride my bike around the corner with my friends, my mom often said no. At the time, I thought she was being mean but she was shielding me from the things that lurked around the corner. What's important is that I had to trust her intuition of things lurking as we need to trust God's all-knowing nature.  He loves us enough to say No to protect us. Don't get mad. Thank Him for the Protection! Not Yet! Is for Future Provision – God is asking us to be patient. Wait for it. There maybe several reasons for you to wait: you are not ready, God has plans for your latter seasons, etc. Remember that a Not Yet is God saying the best is yet to come, wait for it! Trusting God's provision for your not yet will provide greater potential. Remain Focused on the Promises- God has promised us He would never leave us nor forsake us (Deut. 31:6) even when the answer is No! It is easy in the midst of our trials, situations, and problems to focus on it instead of God's promises. Remind yourself, God is never truly silent. He hears your cry. Remain Focused, Faithful, and Fervent on the Promises. They are yours!God answers prayer yet not always as we desire.
Recently, I prayed over a particular opportunity to manifest in my life and was disappointed when God said no. Initially, I admit, all I saw was the world rejecting me instead of the fact that God was preparing me for a bigger opportunity He had in store that I had no idea was on the horizon. As God began to reveal more and more of His plan and purpose it was apparent why He said no. I had to trust Him or I would have missed out on the greater blessing.  
I encourage you to keep praying. God hears you. Thank and appreciate His No! Rejoicing in His Yes!

You are wonderfully and fearfully made! 
I Encourage you to Shine like the Star you are! Propel Your Problems to Potential!

Never forget, As I Encourage You, I Encourage Myself!


Check out our page at Www.facebook.com/RaleneBerryAnd our new products at www.RaleneSpeaks.com

Propel Problems 2 Potential Series


I have experienced chronic pain and sickness my entire life. I recall as a little girl in kindergarten visiting the nurse’s office doubled over in pain but because I did not have a fever or visible signs of distress, I was dismissed. This pattern followed me into my adulthood until I collapsed.
My mother was a beautiful woman who took great care of her family and those around her while silently suffering with diabetes. My youth was marked with incidents of her debilitating silent strokes yet I watch her continue to work, care for home, church, loved ones in the midst of her own personal struggles.
In writing my family history in my book, "Connected by Grace," I learned that my grandmother, my mom’s mother, suffered a fatal stroke at the age of 42. She is remembered for the love she showed for her 7 children, husband, and others. Her children loving describe her as one who suffered in silence and yet she died young.
This past couple of weeks, as I watched my daughter suffer through health issues, wishing I could take away her pain, I realized that her problems, pain, and panic mimic my own and, generationally, my mother’s and my grandmother’s. It has even been seen in my beautiful five year old granddaughter. We often see the pattern and wish that we can break the cycle. I never desired to endure what my mother endured even though I recognized how she overcame her own adversities. I can only imagine that my mother felt the same about her mother, as my grandmother felt for her mother before her.
How do we propel ourselves from the generational pattern to reach our own personal potential?Acknowledge the Problem (Houston, we have a problem!) – Recognizing that a problem exists is generally the hardest thing for many of us. We must know that we have problem but our problems do not have us. Problems do not define us. It is ok to realize you have depression but depression does not define you. When you acknowledge the problem you can begin to seek assistance from others to live a productive life. Hiding from the problem keeps you stuck in bondage to it.Positively embrace the Transformation – There is help for most situation even cancer. A positive attitude changes our outlook on life. The potential to live a fulfilled life even while facing terminal illness is based upon attitude. While participating in my first cancer walk as a survivor in 2012, I chatted with other survivors about their success through radiation, chemotherapy, and surgeries. The common factor among most was attitude! Change your focus from your problem to your potential.Allow Patterns to Teach- Those before us endured much yet have taught us what to do and not do. We can learn from their lessons by choosing wisely to embrace the positive from their lives. We have the advantage of looking at our loved ones lives on a movie screen, seeing the beauty that made them who they are. Open-mindedly, embrace their struggles of endurance! You can do it too.Revel in the Differences – Be excited that despite the problems that may appear to be handed down, you have options available that were not available generations ago. Doctors, medication, counseling, 12-Step programs, medical studies and so much more are yours! This makes you able to… Choose differently. Live differently. Grow differently. Be different!Generational patterns do not have to be curses. They are sequence of evidences of behaviors that is repeated until someone says stop! You have not been cursed! Recognize that a pattern exists, embrace it for change as it teaches, and know what makes you different as it propels you to your greatest potential!

You are wonderfully and fearfully made! 
I Encourage you to Shine like the Star you are! 

Never forget, As I Encourage You, I Encourage Myself!


Check out our page at Www.facebook.com/RaleneBerryAnd our new products at www.RaleneSpeaks.com

The quote from one of Robin Williams' movie is very apropo. 
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone."
I, as an Encourager and Empowerment Speaker, often share, that we cannot control people but we can control how people make us feel. This is true especially as it empowers us to  press forward despite our feelings. Our feelings are God given emotions used to protect and guide us! I call it my Jimny Cricket as it warns me of danger ahead.  I hear him sitting on my shoulder telling me to "watch out!" It is how we respond that's important. 
Many see my glory but never truly know my story nor do they desire to know! In my book "As I Encourage You, I Encourage Myself," I share my personal story of depression and illness.  
I am known for my effervescent smile and joy, yet I often felt alone and misunderstood in a roomful of people. Depression is a disease that destroys. I share because there's so many suffering with a disease in silence because of societal judgment.
I overcame depression with the help of some great doctors and my spirituality that has always been a part of my life. I share my love for people, especially women, daily as a desire to encourage those suffering no matter how mild to seek help and know YOU ARE LOVED! 
Each of us was designed for a purpose. GREATNESS!
I Encourage you to Shine like the Star you are! 
Never forget, As I Encourage You, I Encourage Myself!


Check out our page atWww.facebook.com/RaleneBerryAnd our new book at www.RaleneSpeaks.com